Reikai Sensei Kuwabara
by kyugan
Summary: Kuwabara Kazuma, recent graduate fromj Toudai university, finally begins his first job as an educator at the prestigous Mahora Gakuen. God help us.
1. Chapter 1

As many of you can tell, I'm re-editting some of my older fics because of FF's constant changing of the format.

Seriously, the old format was fine, why change it?

I digress, as stated, I am well aware that I'm behind with my other fics, though as a result of the latest dose of Kishimoto bull-sh-!-t, don't expct any Naruto ones for a while. I may put some of my older ones up for adoption, as was suggested by a few concerned fans, but don't go asking to take them up, I'll let you know if I do in a seperate author's note.

With that said, for those just tuning in, enjoy.

* * *

_Prologue_

_Ten years ago, in a bizarre chain of events, a young man was struck by a car, revived by a pacifier suckling deity, and went on an adventure that would span three worlds, battling against monsters and people the likes of which, until then, he'd never dreamed existed._

_But this is not that story..._

* * *

Reikai Sensei Kuwabara

1st period:

An orange haired man sighed as he slumped in a bench outside a coffee shop. He had just gotten off the train to his university and was looking for a quick 'pick me up' before meeting up with his friends to check their University results. The man's name was Kuwabara Kazuma, just plain Kuwabara if you knew him well, as only two people had the right to call him Kazuma outside his parents and one was his elder sister.

He had once been known as the second toughest punk at Sarayashiki jr. High and the only man with the balls, brawn and sheer stupidity to go toe-to-toe with the infamous Urameshi Yusuke. He had always been tall for his age, easily standing above all his peers in the physical departments with the exception of Yusuke, sadly his academics, like most juvenile delinquents, were sorely lacking, a failing that almost cost his friend his job were it not for some last minute studying and a little help from the 'other side'.

However, much had changed in ten years, most notable of all being his hairstyle. Not many universities accepted the pompadour look, and those that did tended to have pretty loose entry standards, so much to the teen's resentment, he'd had to let his sister have her way with it, and now wore his hair pulled back in a ponytail.

He sighed and looked down at his watch, sighing again as he wondered what was going on, as it wasn't like Kurama of all people to be late, only to blink as the man in question turned up at a light jog.

"Sorry for the delay, Kuwabara-kun." The redheaded fox demon called out, smiling apologetically as he walked up to the bench, "Mother needed my help with some new plants and, well…"

Kuwabara waved it off with a smile as he got to his feet, holding out a cup of coffee, which the reincarnated fox took gladly. The two had been study partners ever since the mess with the Makai tournament had rolled over, as a result they had even applied to the same university, the last place anyone had assumed Kuwabara would get into, the infamous Tokyo U.

'I can still remember the look on Akashi and Iwamoto's faces when they found out.' The former delinquent noted, suppressing a snigger as he recalled the two crooked educators being hauled off to hospital as a result of severe, and multiple, heart attacks 'Serves 'em right for looking down on people like that.'

He smiled as he recalled how his former posse had pulled through as well. Okubo was working in a small, popular restaurant, and from the sound of things was well on his way to opening one of his own thanks to his experience. Sawamura was working in an office building, and doing quite well for himself, apparently he was interested in computer security. And as for Kirishima, the shaved teen had taken up working in his old man's motor-shop, tinkering away at engines and the like while studying part-time for an engineer's degree.

All four teens had landed on their feet, and no one more than Kuwabara, who had finished his humanities degree at Todai with an almost exemplary record.

"I still can't believe you decided to take up education as a career choice." Kurama pointed out genially, as they walked along to the main office to collect their scores, "I mean you, of all people!"

"I hear ya." Kuwabara chuckled, scratching his cheekbones in good humor "But I figured one of the reasons Urameshi and I got into so much trouble was 'cause of no-good snakes like Akashi and Iwamoto puttin' us down all th' time." He shrugged and looked towards the main doors "Besides, how hard can this teaching thing be? Takenaka made it seem alright."

'That's because Takenaka-san kept a bottle of whisky in his desk.' Kurama thought with a sweatdrop, recalling catching the good-natured teacher taking a single shot in order to cope with a Yusuke induced headache.

* * *

_Later..._

"I'm home!" Kuwabara called out, the reformed Delinquent and part-time Tantei smiling down as Eikichi, his precious, overstuffed kitten turned cat, curled around his legs in greeting "Hey there little guy! You miss me?"

"Spare me." Shizuru called out, the elder Kywabara sibling walking into the hallway with her ever-present cigarette lit, her usual neutral expression in place "Please don't keep spoiling that thing, he's getting fat."

"He's not fat he's plump!" the younger brother countered, before picking up the eager feline and soothing its head "Don't you pay her any mind Eikichi, she's just jealous 'cause you can eat what you want and-OW!"

Shizuru rubbed her knuckles from where they'd collided with her little brother's skull and exhaled "Watch it bro," she warned "I'll use a weapon next time." Moving over to the sitting room she noted the case under his arm and raised an intrigued eyebrow "Well I'll be, you actually passed?"

"With flying colours!" the younger Kuwabara exclaimed, puffing out his chest and holding up the diploma as proof of his achievement "Now all I gotta do is run it by a few places and see what I can find!"

"You really think any self respecting school will hire YOU?" Shizuru pointed out snidely, "Last I checked all the schools in this area were terrified of you and Urameshi." She chuckled internally as her brother slumped at this, tearstains lining the side of his face, before snapping back to attention.

"Not a problem!" Kuwabara exclaimed, marching for the door "I'll ask Takenaka-sensei to help me out!"

"Good luck with that." Shizuru called out, lighting up a fresh cancer-stick as she sat down next to the phone, dialing in a number with a small smile. "Hey, Keiko? It's me, you'll never guess what happened…"

* * *

_Sarayashiki jr High..._

"This IS a predicament." Takenaka muttered, looking up at his former student "On the one hand, your credentials certainly make you well suited for the task, heck even Iwamoto-sensei didn't score this high on handling problem children."

'I'll bet.' Kuwabara muttered, but kept quiet, as he didn't want to ruin his chances this early in the game.

"However, the current roster for our school is full, even if we did make allowances for sick days, and from what I can gather from the school board the same could be said for the other local schools as well."

Kuwabara sagged, not liking where this was going, before blinking as Iwamoto began shuffling through some papers. "Have you considered Private schools?" the older man asked "They may ask that you move away, but the prestige from working at one could go a long way, and with your credentials I don't see why you couldn't consider it as an option."

Kuwabara blinked, running the thought over in his mind. On the one hand, it would mean he'd have to move and be separated from his friends, on the other, it was a simple matter of hopping on a train to visit them on weekends and holidays, and he wasn't so immature to have to rely on them for everything.

"Give it some thought," Takenaka assured the former delinquent, "I don't see any reason for you to hold yourself back." He smiled and held out his hand, "I guess from this moment on we're equals, right Kuwabara-sensei?"

Kuwabara blinked, before holding out his own hand and accepting the elder man's handshake with a smile.

"Thanks for everything, Takenaka-sensei."

* * *

_Yukimura Noodle House..._

Laughter erupted from the Yukimura restaurant, where a ragtag group of friends were having a get-together. Urameshi Yusuke, the source of the laughter, slapped his knees as he picked himself off the floor. "A TEACHER! YOU!" he cackled, pointing at his rival and best friend with a trembling finger "Did I hit you too hard during that last fight?"

"Up yours Urameshi!" Kuwabara shot back, taking a good-natured swipe at his rival, which the smaller man easily avoided "I just figured it was the least I could do, after all the crap we put Takenaka through."

"I think it's pretty good of you." Keiko opined, smiling up at the larger teen as she sat beside his sister, "You're certainly doing better than a certain baka I know."

Yusuke slumped in mock pain as everyone laughed. The former reikai tantei turned half-demon had returned seven years ago as promised, and had proposed to Keiko after she graduated from high school. Kuwabara had been the best man, the two getting into a good-natured fistfight prior to the ceremony, resulting in both their rented tuxes being ruined, and Keiko shaking her head in exasperation while Yusuke looked up at her unabashed.

Ever since then, Yusuke had been working at the restaurant whilst Keiko went to college, majoring in child welfare and business management, since the former tantei hadn't bothered to keep up his education whilst in Makai.

"So anyways," Yusuke quipped, "Any takers yet? I bet Iwamoto and Akashi'd piss their pants if you wound up as their co-worker."

"That was my first stop," Kuwabara admitted, sharing a snigger with his fellow former delinquent "But Takenaka recommended I go into the whole Private school thing, said all the local schools were full." He took a sip of soda and smirked "I sent off a few applications, but we'll just have ta wait and see."

"Well good luck to ya." Yusuke applauded, the former Tantei slash Mazoku holding up his own drink and clinking it against his rivals, "And don't you go soft on me y'hear? I won't have my rival becoming a poindexter."

"I'll show you who's a poindexter!" Kuwabara yelled, and the customary fistfight picked off, the other guests sighing and getting out of the way as they carried on with the celebrations.

* * *

_Reikai..._

"Koenma-sama?" Botan chirped, entering the office to find the deity hidden behind a mass of paperwork as usual. Ever since Enma's son had overthrown his corrupt sire he'd had to take on even more responsibility. This, of course, meant going through all of Enma's files to track down whatever dark secrets the former king had hidden away.

So far it was slow going, Enma's dealings with the Makai having gone on for centuries before coming to his son's attention, meaning the backtracking had to be expanded to EVERY damnable archive in Reikai.

"What?" Koenma muttered, the toddler diety looking up at his blue haired assistant wearily, "If this is about the wages again I told you, I assigned all of those responsibilities to Ayame until this is cleared up."

"It's not about that." Botan assured him "Kuwabara's going into a teaching career, but it means he may have to leave the group."

"That so?" the toddler god noted, looking interested as he paused in thought "Well, while it would have an effect on the overall strength, I see no reason to disallow it." He nodded toward a chart on the wall "Ever since the Makai tournament, all demon activity in the area has reached an all time low, especially since Yusuke crossed back over to earth."

He shuffled some papers on his desk, before looking up suddenly, "That reminds me! I need you to deliver something to Kuwabara as soon as possible," he began fiddling around with one of the drawers on his desk, "just because things have died down doesn't mean that there aren't any low level grunts running around, demons aren't really known for following the rules after all."

The deity tossed the ferry woman a video and a package, which she almost dropped before nodding in dismissal. As the door shut behind her, he nodded to himself.

"Well I always suspected Kuwabara had it in him." Koenma admitted, "Heck he impressed me a lot over the years, volunteering for missions like that." He nodded again as he resumed his tasks, confident in that he'd made the right choice, as always.

After all, just because the demons were behaving for the moment didn't mean Reikai didn't require a living emissary to ensure the laws were enforced.

* * *

_Several weeks later…._

"Mornin' Eikichi." Kuwabara yawned, scratching his cat's ears tiredly as he got out of bed. Scratching his cheek as he walked, the Todai graduate marched into the hallway and down the steps, blinking as he noticed the mail on the floor. 'Sis didn't pick it up?' he wondered blearily, before shaking himself awake with a grunt as he picked it up, 'Right, weekend, she's sleeping in.'

Rifling through it with a bored expression on his face, tossing aside the junk mail as he went, the former delinquent blinked as he noticed a rather formal one addressed to himself.

'Mahora Gakuen?' he wondered, brining the post into the kitchen, 'Isn't that some up-town Private school?' He slit the letter open and pulled it out, running his eyes over the contents in interest.

* * *

_Mr. Kuwabara._

___I have recently received your resume and application for employment from a mutual associate of your former instructor Mr. Takenaka. After running over the details, I am willing to accept you at our prestigious academy for a trial run, pending full time employment should things work out._

**_Should, over the course of the trial period, you decide that Mahora isn't to your liking; we will of course endeavor to assist you in locating another facility._**

**_I have heard some interesting things about you Mr. Kuwabara, and hope that you will endeavor to further improve yourself during your time with us._**

**_Yours sincerely:_**

**_Konoe Konoemon_**

**_Headmaster of Mahora Gakuen._**

* * *

Kuwabara sat in shock for a moment, the kettle whistling away on the stove as he let the facts set in. Shizuru, awakened from her slumber by the noise, stuck her head in the doorway with a scowl and glared at her younger sibling.

"You go deaf overnight Kazuma?" she growled out, only to blink as her baby brother let out a yell, grabbed her under the arms and began to spin her around like a child, laughing his head off. After applying her elbow to his skull, and catching her breath from the dizziness, she asked him what was going on, blinking as she ran her eyes over the letter.

"Well whadd'ya know." She muttered, cigarette held in one hand as she re-read the letter again "You really do have the devil's own luck." She looked her brother over, a small smile gracing her features as she took in his grin, "So you gonna apply?"

"Why not?" Kuwabara admitted, "I mean, it sounds like a pretty fancy place, and the Dean DID write to me in person."

Shizuru nodded, taking a drag on her cancer-stick as she noticed the map stapled to the back of the letter. "Well that's awfully considerate." She acknowledged, "Guess they really are serious." Sighing, she tossed the contents to her sibling and got to her feet, "I'm taking a shower, you better get dressed."

* * *

_Later that evening..._

"So this is really it." Yusuke noted, the former delinquent turned tantei turned lord of Makai lying alongside his friend and rival as they sat atop the roof of Keiko's restaurant, "You're really going through with this?"

"I have to Urameshi." Kuwabara shot back, the taller ex-delinquent taking a swig of his soda as he watched the sunset with a solemn expression "I ain't a kid anymore, gotta start looking past my next street fight."

"Yeah I hear ya." The former tantei turned demon admitted, a rather somber look in his eyes as he fondly recalled the many times he'd pound his rival's face into the pavement. "I'm takin night classes myself." He admitted "Takenaka near passed out when he saw me, but he's determined to have me graduate and on to college as soon as possible."

Kuwabara snorted, smirking to himself as he shook his head, "Never woulda dreamed we'd end up like this huh?" he asked, earning a grin from Yusuke.

"Wouldn't have it any other way." The former tantei replied, raising his can, the two tapping against each other's before taking a mighty sip. "Just don't go soft alright? Hiei n' Mukuro may be guarding the gateways but a few bastards just think their hot enough to break the rules."

"Don't you worry about me." Kuwabara shot back with a smirk, eyeing the former tantei with a mocking glint in his eyes "You just watch out for Keiko, she's gonna have YOU in the skirt one of these days."

"Ah blow it out yer ear!" the former tantei swore, blushing scarlet at the image his rival had conjured up, as it bore more truth than he'd care to admit.

* * *

And so a new story begins.

How will Kuwabara handle his first teaching job?

Will he wash out?

And just what is in that package?

(As if you had to guess!)

See ya next time!


	2. Chapter 2

As many of you can tell, I'm re-editting some of my older fics because of FF's constant changing of the format.

Anyway, on with the show!

* * *

2nd Period.

The weekend came to a close, and on the following Monday, Kuwabara, dressed in a good jacket and pants over a red shirt, (Think his second movie outfit) set out for the train station to Mahora.

The gang, with the exception of Hiei, had all got together to see their friend off, Shizuru threatening to bust his balls if he screwed up. Kurama gave some sage advice about first appearances, Yusuke a farewell punch to the jaw, and Keiko a packed lunch from the restaurant. Genkai actually came to see him off, handing over some scrolls on reiki refinement and meditation techniques, warning him, albeit good naturedly, not to slack off just because it was peacetime.

Yukina asked him to take care, which sent the goofball off on one of his romance-derived sappy reels, and he would have embraced the Koorime had Shizuru not elbowed him on the skull, earning a bout of laughter from all but the object of her brother's affection, who looked around in confusion as Shizuru bodily threw the man into the train.

In the end though, they all waved at him through the windows, his plaintive cries of 'Yukina-chaaaaaaan!' dieing into the distance as the train sped off towards its destination.

'This is it.' Kuwabara gulped, holding onto the rail as the train sped along, 'No going back now.' He winced as he felt his knees tremble, scowling down at the joints in annoyance 'Oh come on! Against demons and deranged humans you stand firm but when it comes down to a simple audition you decided to take up cabaret?'

Sighing to calm himself, the pony-tailed man blinked as he took in his surroundings for the first time, noting a distinct lacking of his fellow man, as it were.

'Did I get the wrong train?' he wondered, blushing slightly as a pair of schoolgirls giggled at him 'Man, Urameshi'd probably be lovin' this, nothin but skirt as far as th' eye can see!' He shook himself, clenching a fist to his face in resolution. 'NO! I can't think like that! For I am Kuwabara, the warrior of love!'

Several schoolgirls backed away as a scroll appeared out of nowhere amidst the tapping of sticks, the kanji 'Fool for Yukina' written across it. The train jostled without warning, causing the passengers to bump into one another, Kuwabara yelping as his arm brushed against someone's bust.

"I am SO sorry!" the former delinquent apologized, bowing for emphasis, earning a giggle from the teen as she waved it away, as if she was used to it by now.

At that moment, Kuwabara's eyes widened as he sensed a surge of energy, followed by a small gale that caused every skirt in the area to defy the laws of gravity. Since the orange haired graduate was still currently bent over, this meant he was given a rather impressive show, which would have made him the envy of every pervert in the country.

Yelping and snapping to attention so fast you could hear the whip-crack, the teen shut his eyes and firmly resolved not to open them for the remainder of the trip, face a deep magenta as tried to forget the image.

'What was with that wind?' he wondered briefly 'It didn't feel anything like Jin's wind, I sure as heck didn't FEEL any Youki…' he blinked as the doors opened, stumbling out the door amidst the rush, pointedly not looking at the girl who unintentionally flashed him. 'I'll figure it out later…now where's the main campus?'

"**Welcome back Students!"** the intercom announced, **"The student counseling committee has declared this punctuality week! Ten minutes to first bell! Lateness will not be tolerated! Anyone late this week will receive a yellow card, so we urge you to be at school as early as possible…"**

"Th' heck?" Kuwabara wondered, only to yelp as a veritable stampede of students dashed past, most on foot, some on trams, others making use of their own transportation, either in the form of skates, boards, bicycles and, in one case, a motorbike.

"Whoa there!" the tall graduate barked out, fighting against the tide with the futility of those who aren't Moses, "I said hold it! AGH!" he gripped his head as a girl used it as a spring board, her yellow hair and tanned skin being all he could see before disappearing into the crowd. "Watch it will ya? Huh?"

Staggering as something bumped into him, Kuwabara looked down to find he'd inadvertently knocked over a small child, no more than ten at most, with a backpack and bandaged staff. He took in the pale complexion, the brown hair and the odd clothing, blinking in confusion as he realized the child must be a foreigner and the child's accent as he spoke clinched it.

"Ah! Gomenasai!" the ten year old offered, pushing his glasses straight "I was in a hurry and wasn't watching where I was going!"

"S'allright." Kuwabara replied, offering a hand to help the boy up. He blinked as a shiver ran up his arm when their hands made contact, a sense of bizarre energy hanging in the air for a moment, before disappearing as the boy dusted himself off.

"Excuse me sir," the boy asked "but I was wondering if you could direct me to Mahora Gakuen? I'm running a little late you see."

"Mahora?" Kuwabara repeated, "Sure, I'm headin' that way myself anyways." He pulled out his map, unfolding it and looking over the schematics carefully, "Man this place is big! I've seen towns smaller than this campus!"

"Really?" the boy stated, gazing at the map in awe as Kuwabara brought it down to eye level "Sugoi! I never thought I'd see a campus this big!"

"First time away from home huh?" Kuwabara asked, earning a nod from the boy "Same for me actually." He held out a hand and smiled reassuringly "Kuwabara Kazuma, but you can call me Kuwabara."

"Negi Springfield." The boy replied, bowing and accepting the handshake with an eager smile "I'm glad I'm not the only new face here."

"Yeah well I don't know about you, but I don't feel like being late for my first day." Kuwabara replied with a grin, thumbing over his shoulder "C'mon Bozu, let's get going!"

* * *

_Later..._

"This is nuts!" a redheaded girl swore as she ran like mad through the street, "We can't greet this new teacher AND make it to class at the same time!" She shot a side look to her roommate, who was keeping pace using in-line skates "Why's the Dean making you do this anyways?"

"Cause I'm his granddaughter." The other girl chirped sweetly, earning a sigh from her friend.

"Well if this new teach is your gramps' pal he's gotta be an old fart." The redhead rationalized.

"Maybe not." The brunette countered, "Your horoscope says you'll have a fateful encounter." She nodded at her friend's exclamation of surprise, "It's right here, it also says if you call your lover's name five times and bark he's yours!"

"AW-RIGHT! TAKAHATA-SENSEI! TAKAHATA-SENSEI! TAKAHATA-SENSEI! TAKAHATA-SENSEI! TAKAHATA-SENSEI! ARF!"

Silence reigned as everyone gave the duo a wide berth, the brunette gazing at her gasping companion in awe. "Wow Asuna," she muttered, scratching her head dazedly "I didn't think you'd actually do it, I'm really impressed!"

"Because of my dedication to Takahata-Sensei?" Asuna replied, an aura of fire surrounding her.

"No 'cause you're so gullible." The brunette replied with a giggle, "I made it up, cheese head!"

"KONOKA!" Asuna yelled, jaw slack as she blushed beetroot, causing her friend to giggle and dance out of range.

"Aw, c'mon," the brunette giggled, pulling up alongside her fuming friend, "Can't you take a joke?"

Asuna was about to reply when she heard something coming up the side, yelping as a tall man with a ponytail and a brown haired teen dashed out of an alleyway. "Y'see Bozu?" the man yelled jubilantly, "Stick with me and navigating through crowds is never a problem!"

"Sugoi Kuwabara-san!" the child applauded, gazing up at the man in awe "Are you sure this is your first time here?"

The man cackled loudly and flexed his muscle, grinning down at the teen as he ran; "I've had a knack for findin' places since I was shorter than you bozu, never used to get lost once!"

The boy nodded in awe, before blinking as he noticed the two teens running alongside them. Looking over the red-haired, pigtailed one briefly, he smiled suddenly and nodded kindly. "Sorry to bother you," he offered "but I'm afraid you'll be heartbroken."

Asuna blinked at the comment, letting it set in for a moment, before erupting with such fury she made volcanoes envious. "HOW'D YOU LIKE TO BE BROKEN?" she bellowed, towering over the teen like the wrath of God, which wasn't really all that difficult considering how short he was.

"Nuh-N-Not so much!" the child admitted shakily, stuttering in fear as he realized his error "It…it's just I'm kind of psychic…" he muttered quietly "and your future…"

"YOUR future is looking shorter than you!" Asuna snapped back, earning a wince from Konoka and the taller man as they shot the boy looks of pity.

"I was just trying to help!" the boy insisted, flailing his arms about "I was just trying to warn you!"

"IS THAT A THREAT?" Asuna bellowed, tears of embarrassed rage running down her cheeks, blinking as Konoka tapped her arm.

"C'mon Asuna," the dean's granddaughter implored with a nervous smile "He's just a kid for crying out loud."

"Crying out loud!" Asuna repeated, grabbing the boy's head and lifting him off the ground with s strength that belied her frame "There's an idea! Take back what you said twerp!"

* * *

_On the Sidelines..._

Kuwabara, after marveling at how Negi could get into this predicament, decided to be the voice of reason and settle things down before someone, most likely Negi, got hurt. "Calm down there miss." He asked, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder placatingly, blinking as he sensed something odd about her aura "Negi's young, he doesn't know how to talk to girls."

The redhead glared at the taller man for a moment, only to sigh and lower the flailing Negi to the ground, where he held his head in pain as Konoka fussed over him like a mother hen. "Who are you guys?" she asked, eyeing them suspiciously, "This is the Mahora Gakuen district, it's all girls from this point on."

"The elementary school's one stop back." The brunette added helpfully, smiling down at Negi kindly, causing the ten year old to blush.

'All girls?' Kuwabara repeated, blinking in confusion 'That can't be right, I was told to come to the Mahora Gakuen, it says so on my letter.'

"You feeling better now?" the brunette asked, smiling down as she patted Negi's head comfortingly.

"H-hai, Arigato-gozaimasu." The bespectacled boy offered, bowing to the elder girl, before stepping over beside Kuwabara, who shook himself back to reality.

"You okay Bozu?" the Todai graduate asked, snorting as the boy tenderly patted his head a few times.

"Hai," Negi repeated, before looking up at the man in confusion "Kuwabara-san, are all Japanese girls this cranky or does this one just have issues?"

'Oh this won't end well.' Kuwabara predicted, a thought that was shared vocally by the brunette as her colleague gripped Negi's head in her hand again. He was about to interfere when a powerful aura alerted him to a presence in the window above them.

"Well, well Asuna! Making friends again I…Negi? Is that you?"

"Negi?" Asuna repeated, blinking up at the man in the window in confusion, "Who's this Ne-Takahata-sensei!" she realized, bowing respectfully "I-I didn't uh…he…"

"Takamichi you nut!" Negi yelled out, waving energetically as Asuna gaped at him in horror, Kuwabara following the boy's gaze to espy an older man in the window, dressed in a suit, spectacles and smoking a cigarette.

"I see the welcoming committee found you." Takamichi noted, running his eyes over the group "And you must be Kuwabara-san, Takenaka-san's told me much about you, glad to have you aboard." He smiled back at Negi and shook his head, "Negi-sensei…who'd've thought eh?"

* * *

_With Kuwabara..._

Kuwabara blinked, before looking down at Negi in confusion as Konoka once again voiced his thoughts. "Did…did he just call you…?" the brunette asked, earning a pleased look from Negi as he cleared his throat and bowed.

"My name is Negi Springfield," he introduced with a smile, "I'm your new English professor."

Kuwabara gaped at the child that barely came up to his waist, before flinching as Asuna let loose a burst of fiery, murderous intent, stepping forward and putting a hand on her shoulder again as Konoka grabbed the other.

"What kind of stupid joke is this?" the redhead yelled, attempting to strangle Negi but being held out of reach thanks to Konoka and Kuwabara "You're just a little brat!"

"Calm down Asuna." Takamichi chuckled, appearing not far away, much to Kuwabara's shock "He's brighter than he appears."

"Well he'd have to be wouldn't he!" Asuna replied exasperatedly, shaking herself out of Konoka and Kuwabara's grips.

"You'll find out for yourself," Takamichi continued, "Since he'll be taking over my class from now on."

Asuna toppled over as if struck, before snapping to attention and waving her arms in distress "You're not serious Takahata-sensei!" she pleaded, "If…if he replaced you it'd…it'd…!"

"Break your heart?" Negi supplied helpfully with a raised hand, though he still looked decidedly nervous.

"Yes! Break my-HEY!" Asuna snapped, going form teary-eyed to bloodthirsty in a split-second "SHUT UP! WHO ASKED YOU?" she yelled, trembling in grief and anger as she grabbed Negi by the collar "of all the unreasonable-! YOU NIT! YOU NOTHING YOU-!"

Kuwabara moved to grab the girl's shoulder, only to flinch again as the same surge of energy he sensed on the train appeared again, followed by Asuna's clothing, with the exception of her undergarments, to be reduced to shreds right before his eyes.

"Bear panties?" the graduate muttered aloud, flushing scarlet as the girl's shriek filled the air.

* * *

_Dean's office..._

"Please tell me this is a joke!" Asuna begged, clutching Kuwabara's jacket over herself as she took the bag with her gym clothes from Konoka, changing in a corner of the Dean's office.

"I could," the Dean allotted, playing with his moustache and beard as he pretended not to sneak a peek "But then that would be lying." He turned to the two other males in the room and nodded "Now then, Negi-sensei, your teaching post should be quite the challenge in your training, eh?"

Negi bowed respectfully, claiming he would do his best, whilst Kuwabara eyed the teen in amazement. 'I still can't believe this kid's a sensei at age ten!' he marveled, wondering if it was his fate to be shown up by kids and people shorter than him. 'That aside,' he muttered 'this place has one hell of a powerful aura. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear I just stepped into someone's territory.'

"And as for you, Kuwabara-sensei." The dean called out, snapping Kuwabara back to reality "I've heard some rather interesting things about you from very reliable sources." His eye seemed to twinkle at this, "As I said in my letter, we here at Mahora will be glad to accommodate you, but should things not work out we'll gladly help you find a better placement." He smiled as Kuwabara bowed "Also, if either of you are in need of a girlfriend, my granddaughter is single!"

"Thanks loads grandpa!" Konoka replied, striking the Dean sharply with a small hammer to the head, Negi and Kuwabara flushing scarlet, the latter waving his hands.

"T-thanks for the offer n'all, but I'm spoken for!" the former delinquent stuttered, earning a look of disappointment from the dean "Not that she isn't pretty or nothin; it's just well, there's things to be said for loyalty right?"

"Indeed," Konoemon agreed with a nod as Konoka blinked between the two "If only more young men were like you." He sighed and shook his head, "Too bad."

"Hold on here!" Asuna called out, marching back over and returning Kuwabara's jacket with a grudging 'thanks', "Kuwabara-sensei maybe, but I don't buy this little kid being a teacher! It's completely unacceptable!"

"It is not for you to accept Asuna," Konoemon replied sagely, shooting a knowing look at Negi, "It is for I, and I do…for the moment at least." He nodded at the boy "But Negi, if you fail, there will be no second chances, clear?"

"Crystal sir." Negi replied, eyes filled with determination "Only…I won't…that's all. I won't fail!"

"Just what I wanted to hear." Konoemon chuckled, "We'll start the two of you off today, you advisor will be Shizuna-sensei." Looking behind the duo he called out, "Shizuna-kun! You are you there?"

Negi turned, only to collide face first with two rather soft mounds in a white jumper. Kuwabara actually had to fight down a wave of jealousy at the youth's luck, reminding himself that true men don't ogle women when they have a lady to be true to.

"Ah yes, one more thing." Konoemon called out, catching the groups attention, "We're a little short on space, so Negi-kun, you'll have to bunk with Asuna and Konoka until we make some new arrangements.

Kuwabara covered his ears just in time to prepare for Asuna's rebuttal, wondering how in the hell he got into these messes.

* * *

well, there's the second chapter up for those who wanted it.

How will Kuwabara handle it?

Will he discover the secrets of Mahora?

And just where'd Botan dissapear to with that parcel?

R&R to find out!


	3. Chapter 3

As stated, I'm reformatting the old chapters.

Seriously, FF should send us an email warning us about changes like this.

Any who, as stated earlier:

1. This is definitely a Yukina+Kuwabara fic, no questions asked, if any other pairings pop up it'll be out of sheer comedic value or a request.

2. Kuwabara joining the patrol that protects the school will be considered, but his duties as Tantei and teacher come first.

3. Be assured Kuwabra WILL receive a pactio, but I'll leave the guessing of WHO with to you.

4. I intend to go as far as the school trip from the manga...maybe even as far as the Mahora festival saga if I push things.

5. Hiei, Kurama and Yusuke WILL make random appearances, with all three set to help out during the Mahora Fest saga if it gets there.

6. Kuwabara, ever-lovin baka that he is, STILL hasn't a clue as to the identity of Yukina's brother, and I intend to milk that for all it's worth.

Enough about me. on wih the show!

* * *

3rd Period

The two new instructors were walking down the hall, Kuwabara in the same outfit as before and Negi in a rather impressive suit and tie. Asuna, who had been given a new uniform, walked alongside the child teacher with her head turned to the side, sulking, Negi reciprocating with a sulk of his own whilst Kuwabara, Konoka and Shizuna-sensei took up the rear.

"Kuwabara-sensei," Shizuna-sensei called out "You'll be taking them for science and mathematics, which isn't until next period." She nodded as Asuna continued to glare at a nervous Negi, "Why don't I take you to the staff room, you can introduce yourself to everyone before class."

"Sounds good." Kuwabara admitted, sending a concerned look towards Negi as Asuna glared at the boy.

"You!" the pigtailed firetrap barked, pointing at the child-sensei, causing Kuwabara to flinch out of reflex. Having a friend capable of blasting the bejeezus out of mountains with his pointer finger will do that to a man. "You're on the couch! Got it? No bed sharing you little creep!" And with that she marched off, Konoka rebuking her for scaring her sensei.

'Nice girl…for a psycho.' The two males thought in tandem, Shizuna-sensei assuring them that they'd get used to her eventually.

"Here's a list of your students." She offered to Negi, who sweatdropped at the sheer mulltitude of names and information on the list "Kuwabara-sensei? If you'll follow me?"

Kuwabara nodded, clapping Negi companionably on the shoulder and smiling reassuringly. "Knock 'em dead Bozu." He offered, earning a weak smile from the teen as he turned to follow Shizuna sensei. He sent a concerned look back as he heard a great outcry go out a few minutes later, only for Shizuna to smile

"He'll be okay." She assured him, "They're a little wild, but good kids at heart, you'll learn."

Reassured, but not entirely, Kuwabara followed the woman to the staff room, unaware of the havoc that was unfolding behind him.

* * *

_Several periods lay-ter..._

'That Takahata's not the only odd guy here.' Kuwabara noted as he walked down the halls to class 2A, 'There's Seruhiko-sensei and Akashi-sensei…and that Touko-sensei…' he shook himself as he tried to piece it all together. 'Later.' He decided, 'Right now I have to make a good first impression.'

Taking a breath, the former delinquent opened the door, freezing slightly as he sensed something overhead. Out of reflex, his free hand snapped up and caught the rigged eraser before he even knew what it was. Looking at the faces of the class he frowned "That wasn't very nice," he pointed out, tossing the eraser in his palm "What if I'd been allergic to this huh?"

He stepped forwards, avoiding the tripwire before reaching up to catch the bucket of water by the handle, carrying it as he went. He tilted his head to the side, avoiding the toy arrow that would have sent him head over heals by an inch, before calmly bending over to set the bucket down by the desk, the other two arrows slamming into the side of it as he straightened up.

"Well now," he greeted, smiling at the stunned girls, who had never encountered anyone who avoided their traps "My name is Kuwabara Kazuma, and I'm your new science and mathematics professor for third semester." He nodded towards them, "Nice to meet you all."

* * *

_3A gossip..._

No sooner had the man finished talking than the gossiping began, the girls looking amongst themselves as they took him in. "Not much to look at." Asakura Kazumi sighed, shaking her head sadly "And Negi-sensei's too young, it just ain't right."

"Did you see how he dodged those traps?" Narutaki Fumika asked, eyes wide with amazement "That was so cool!"

"A challenge at last!" her twin Fuka cackled, sending their new sensei a mischievous look that promised good natured pain and torment for the rest of the year.

"Who does he think he is with that ponytail?" Saotome Haruna wondered "And those duds! Must be a Yakuza reject!"

"Paru-chan…" her friend Miyazaki Nodoka whispered, looking upset, "That isn't very nice…"

"True tho." Replied Ayase Yue, her high eyebrows and bored expression giving her quite the intellectual appearance.

'Great, another weirdo.' Muttered Hasegawa Chisame under her breath, trembling with suppressed rage 'first the munchkin and now some GTO wannabe? Why can't I get a normal class?'

'Strong…' was the opinion of one Sakurazaki Setsuna, who could feel Kuwabara's suppressed aura from where she sat, an opinion shared by Nagase Kaede, Ku Fei and Tatsumiya Mana.

'Interesting.' Opined Lingshen Chao, who tried to factor in this new arrival to her equations.

"Everyone Please!" called out the class rep, and not-so-secret shotacon, Yukihiro Ayaka, "Your behavior earlier with Negi-sensei was deplorable! Please show some proper manners for Kuwabara-sensei!"

The girls fell silent, though each seemed to file their opinion of the man away for later updating.

* * *

_Back with Kuwabara..._

"Arigato…ano." Kuwabara muttered, the former delinquent/Part-time Tantei fumbling with his register, his eyes ranging over the list of names, before coming across the blonde Class Representative's face, "Yukihiro…Ayaka-san?"

"Hai," Ayaka nodded, smiling flatteringly "And as class representative, please allow me to be the first to welcome you to 2A."

Kuwabara nodded and smiled in return "Arigato, Ayaka-san, now please take your seat so we can begin."

Ayaka did so, and the class opened their textbooks to the current page, Kuwabara reading out of it, smirking at the sight. 'This takes me back,' he noted, recalling the bizarre dream and Akashi's challenge from his own time in jr. high, before shaking himself. "Right, now how many of you can tell me why blood is red?" he called out, sweat dropping as everyone averted their eyes from his gaze, "Okay…here's a hint, what do we have in our blood?"

"Blood Cells?" Izumi Ako asked tentatively, the blue haired assistant nurse and member of the soccer team recalling reading up on the subject in an attempt to get over her hemophobia...sadly to little success.

"Very good," Kuwabara replied, the former delinquent smiling approvingly at the blue haired girl and nodding encouragingly as she blushed at being acknowledged "And what colour are they?"

"Well, there are red ones…and white ones…" Ako began tentatively, trailing off nervously, as like most of the class, she shied away from answering most questions, only to earn another nod from the sensei.

"That's right, and which do you have more of?" Kuwabara asked, the pony-tail sporting Sensei looking around at the rest of the class expectantly, only for them to avoid his gaze "Anyone else? C'mon it should be easy!"

"Red!" Fuka yelled out, the elder of the Narutaki Twins leaping to her feet, her arms held wide over her head at the exclamation, earning a smile and nod from Kuwabara as he continued with the lesson.

"Very good!" he applauded, motioning for the twin to return to her seat as he faced the class "But there's a special pigment in your blood that MAKES it red," he pointed out "can anyone guess the name?"

"Hemoglobin." A bored voice called out, everyone, including a startled Kuwabara, turning to take in the annoyed features of Evangeline A.K. McDowell, the short blonde resting her chin on her palm, a bored expression on her face.

"Ah…yes," Kuwabara agreed, shivering at the cold stare the doll-like girl was giving him from her seat 'And I thought Genkai's glares were creepy!' he thought, before shrugging it off "The answer is indeed Hemoglobin, now who can tell me how the bloodstream works?" When no one answered he sighed and turned to face the board, prepared to draw out a diagram for them.

"Fuka-san." He called out after a few minutes, sensing the elder Narutaki twin approaching his chair "I'm sure you aren't the type of person to put something in my chair now are you?" He grinned as he heard the shocked girl dash back to her seat, the whole class now staring at him, mouth's agape. 'I am SO cool.' He praised, going back to the diagram at hand.

* * *

_3A gossip corner..._

"Did you see that?" Misa Kakizaki whispered, the cheerleader holding a hand to the side of her mouth as she whispered excitedly with her colleagues "He caught Fuka-chan without even turning round!"

"Does he have eyes in the back of his head?" her fellow cheerleader Kugimiya Madoka wondered in hushed tones, the husky voiced cheerleader eyeing their other, elder new sensei warily, albeit with an impressed stare.

"Maybe he's psychic!" supplied Shiina Sakurako brightly, the bubbliest of the cheerleaders looking highly excited that the prospect as she held a finger up for emphasis "Maybe he's reading all our minds right now!"

"Doubtful." Supplied Yue, the bluenette sipping away at one of her usual, oddly labeled drinks, her usual solemn expression on her face "He probably saw her reflected in the window and thought he'd play a mind game."

"But it's too bright to use the window Yue-chi!" Sakurako insisted, the hyperactive cheerleader pointing at the windows in question as she shook her head "He has to be psychic! I'd bet ten lunch tickets on it!"

"I'll raise you twenty!" Sasaki Makie yelled out, the gymnast holding up the aforementioned lunch tickets in question, even as the class erupted from there into full-on riot mode, startling Kuwabara in mid-sketch.

"What th' hey?" he wondered, turning to gape at the scene going on behind him, watching in confusion as lunch tickets were tossed in the air like stock papers during a crash "What's going on here?"

"Sensei!" Sakurako yelled out, the hyperactive cheerleader leaning forward on her desk, a hand raised in the air as if she were asking a proper question "Can you guess what I'm thinking? You're psychic right?"

"No fair Sakurako!" Kakizaki chastised her friend; the purple haired cheerleader looking at her colleague disapprovingly, even as Sakurako giggled at getting a head start "You can't narrow it down to just that!"

"Yeah!" Fuka called out, the elder of the Narutaki twins standing atop her desk, pointing at Kuwabara in a manner reminiscent of a certain Ace Attorney "Besides! He has to be a ninja! Right sensei?"

"Ha?" Kuwabara replied intelligently.

"Oh come on!" Haruna scoffed, the bespectacled perverse manga-ka and member of the Library club shaking her head in disbelief "A ninja? In this day and age? What are the odds of one enrolling at a high school anyway?"

Kaede whistled quietly and shot the twins a meaningful look, silencing them lest they said something they shouldn't. "Haa?" Kuwabara repeated in a slightly higher tone, his confusion continuing to grow, evident from his slack jaw.

"Sensei!" Makie yelled out, the gymnast leaning on top of Sakurako's back, her hand raised in the air as she waved at the understandably flummoxed sensei "Are you really a psychic ninja with eyes in the back of his head?"

"HAAA?"

* * *

_LAy-ter..._

Negi sighed as he sat on the steps of the monument, trying to relax after a hectic day as 2A's homeroom teacher. The girls hadn't even given him a chance to start his lesson plan, being far more interested in cuddling him, pinching his cheeks and, much to his mortification, feeling him up.

"The only upside is that tomorrow couldn't possibly be worse." He deduced, tapping his staff for luck "At least I hope not."

Sighing, he pulled out the roster again, scribbling on Asuna's picture childishly, sticking out his tongue for emphasis. Blinking, he looked up just in time to see a familiar face traipsing down the steps, burdened down with FAR too many books. "No.27, Miyazaki Nodoka-san?" he wondered, looking concerned for the timid bookworm, "she looks a little burdened down there…AH!"

Just as Nodoka's foot slipped, the mage in training whipped out his staff, the wrappings unraveling as he poured magic through it. Sending just enough magic to hold the girl long enough for him to get there, Negi rushed forwards, apparently catching the girl before she fell, taking the brunt of their combined weight himself.

"Are you alright Nodoka-san?" the ten year old asked concernedly, "You almost hit the ground pretty-!"

Negi's words trailed off in horror as he espied Kagurazaka Asuna gaping at him in surprise, the expression on her face a telltale sign she'd seen everything. "Um…gotta go…" the boy began, only to yelp as the hotheaded schoolgirl scooped him up in her arms, staff and all, and made for the woods like a woman possessed, leaving a concerned Nodoka to blink in confusion.

"Negi-sensei?" she wondered faintly, blinking as the sound of running footsteps caught her attention.

* * *

_Just as Asuna abduct's Negi..._

'That weird energy again!' Kuwabara thought wildly, the pony-tail sporting sensei coming to a halt at the top of the steps, eyeing the scene around him with a frown 'These books lying about…was a student attacked?'

"Kuwabara-sensei!" a quiet voice called out, causing the former delinquent to whip round, catching sight of Nodoka on the floor below.

"Miyazaki...Nodoka-san?" he wondered, blinking down at the ruffled looking librarian in confusion, only for his eyes to widen in realization, jumping down the steps to crouch beside the startled girl in concern "Are you alright? Were you attacked?"

"N-no," the girl replied uncertainly, eyeing the large, mildly intimidating new science sensei warily from behind her bangs "I tripped going down the steps…" she looked to the side in embarassment "I guess I was carrying too much…"

'That explains the books.' Kuwabara noted, as several other girl's showed up, Haruna and Yue amongst them "Did you hurt yourself falling?" he asked "Anything broken?" when Nodoka shook herself he sighed in relief "That's good, but I still think you should see a nurse to be safe."

Nodoka's protests were ignored as he lifted the girl up in his arms, earning a squeak from the bookworm and a rush of giggles from the others. "Does anyone know where th' nurse's room is?" he asked, nodding as Yue raised a hand "Show th' way then, I'm still getting used ta this place."

He flinched as another burst of energy erupted from the woods, but put it off since he figured Nodoka needed more attention at the moment.

* * *

_Later that day..._

"Ah, Kuwabara-kun!" Takamichi called out as the younger sensei entered the staff room some time later, "Just the man I was looking for! 2A's throwing a little get together to welcome you and Negi-kun to Mahora, so why don't we go together?"

"Sure, why not?" Kuwabara replied, sounding a little relieved; what with trying to track down the source of that weird energy and making sure his class didn't start a riot, the man was virtually drained, and a party sounded like the perfect pick me up.

Of course, he wasn't expecting to be deafened by the sheer amount of noise that greeted him as he set foot through the door.

"Seems the girls got a little carried away without us." Takamichi muttered, chuckling as he waved at some of the gleeful students "AH! It looks like Shizuna-sensei kept us some seats."

Kuwabara followed the older man to the bench, where a smiling Shizuna welcomed him warmly. "So how was your first day?" she asked, "Did they give you much trouble?"

"Not really." Kuwabara muttered, the younger Sensei accepting a glass of Amazake from his senior with a grateful nod, a wry smirk on his face "Though they REALLY take the cake on rumor-mongering."

"Ah." Takamichi nodded knowingly, having experienced his fair share of mud-racking with the denizens of 3A "The cheerleader-trio must have started that," he wagered "they always come up with something and blow it out of proportions…but it's all harmless fun."

"I'll bet." Kuwabara muttered, recalling how it had taken most of the remaining class time to calm everyone down again and refute his status as a psychic ninja alien with extra ocular organs. He blinked as the fanfare kicked up again, turning to regard as Negi and Asuna made their way through the door "Hey Bozu! Over here!"

Negi blinked and waved at his colleague, practically skipping over to the bench as Kuwabara made some room for him "Kuwabara-san!" he greeted politely, "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"So far." Kuwabara admitted, pouring the kid some juice, figuring it wouldn't do to let a ten year old drink, despite Urameshi's insistence that it never did HIM any harm "Gotta say tho, these girl's are pretty wild huh?"

Negi chuckled weakly as he scratched the back of his head, an action that caused quite a few members of the class to flush and flock around him, offering the duo treats. The welsh wizard blinked as he finished a cup of juice, taking in the timid form of Miyazaki Nodoka as she approached with her friends, Yue and Haruna.

"Arigato," the librarian offered, "I'd have probably broken my neck if not for you." She bowed to him before repeating the movement towards a stunned Kuwabara "And thank you for taking me to the nurse, Kuwabara-sensei, I'm sorry if I got in the way."

"Not at all!" Kuwabara replied, waving a hand dismissively "Couldn't have a student getting injured on my first day could I?"

Nodoka smiled and pulled out something behind her back, offering them to the instructors with a nervous smile, "It's not much," she offered, "but here's discount coupons from the school bookstore."

"WHOA! COUPONS?" Misa cackled, the purple-haired cheerleader looking between the flushing librarian and their two new Sensei with a teasing expression on her face "For Nodoka that's first base!"

Kuwabara sweatdropped as the shy girl tried to refute her classmate's statement, before blinking in confusion as the class rep unveiled a bust of Negi, albeit rather crude around the edges, eliciting a squabble between her and Asuna, as the redhead made a comment about 'trotting out her bust'.

'I can't tell if those two hate each other or love each other.' The lanky instructor muttered, blinking as Asuna broke the fight off in time to elbow Negi from behind, dragging him off for a clandestine conversation. 'Wonder what they're on about?' he wondered, only for Negi to trot back and place his palm on Takamichi's forehead.

"What do you think of Asuna-san?" the ten-year-old asked, earning a blink of confusion from Kuwabara as Asuna face-faulted quite spectacularly.

"Well," Takamichi chuckled, "She's a hard worker, cheerful, energetic," he winced slightly "A little short-tempered but overall a good kid."

* * *

_With Negi..._

Negi nodded, reading the contents of his friend's mind before trotting back to Asuna, who held her breath for the findings. "He thinks you don't wear panties!" Negi revealed, resulting in the girl losing her footing.

'Well that's perfect!' she all but screeched mentally before sending him back for more like the glutton for punishment she was. She blinked as she caught sight of the suspicious look on Kuwabara's, "Kuwabara-sensei's" she corrected, face, as the pony-tailed man looked between her and Negi. 'Never mind,' she muttered, 'he's probably just wondering what we're talking about.' She blinked as Negi trotted back, eager to hear something good.

"He's thinking you wear bear panties!" Negi revealed eagerly, blinking as the girl buried her head in a wall with the force of the facefault, before picking herself and making a dash for it. "Asuna-san!"

* * *

_Kuwabara again..._

Kuwabara blinked as the two ran out the door, wondering what on earth was going on, before deciding to get to the bottom of it. He'd sensed some minor energy readings during the exchange with Takamichi, so he was starting to put two and two together.

'Either I'm being paranoid,' he muttered 'or Negi-bozu's hiding something big.'

Excusing himself from the table, the former delinquent made his way through the ocean of hyperactive teens towards the door, finally managing to get to it, but not before a group consisting of Ayaka, Kasumi, Sakurako and Fumika snuck out ahead of him. Deciding to follow them, the professor made his way down the hall as silently as he could, only to gape alongside his students at the scene before him.

'What th' heck?' he yelped, watching as Asuna, her aura revealing her even without her hair ties, preparing to lip-lock a stunned Negi as the impromptu audience gazed on in scandalized wonder. 'Damn, kid works fast I'll give him that.' He muttered, before clearing his throat loudly, startling the two groups, as they hadn't heard him sneak up behind them.

"What're doing out here Bozu?" he called out to Negi with a smile, filing the memory of Asuna's mortified face away for later viewing "There's a party going on, and I can't celebrate it by myself."

"C-COMING!" Negi yelped, making a rather fast dash up the steps, his face beet red as the two left the girls to their own affairs, Ayaka lunging at Asuna, the two resuming their traditional catfight.

"You work fast don't you?" Kuwabara teased, earning a confused look from his younger colleague "You DO know relationships between staff and students're taboo, right?"

Negi flushed and tried to stammer out a reply, only to blink as Kuwabara ruffled his hair, "I'm pullin' yer leg bozu." The taller instructor assured him "Besides, it's WAY too early for you to be looking at girls anyways." He patted the exhausted boy on the shoulder and grinned, "C'mon, let's show these guys how to party."

* * *

_Later that evening..._

"By the way," Kuwabara pointed out later on, catching the attention of Takamichi as he helped clear up the mess "in all the excitement, I forgot to ask where I'm bunking at."

"Really?" Takamichi wondered, blinking in surprise, "Didn't the Dean tell you? That's not like him."

"Tell him what?" an aged voice called out, earning a startled squawk from Kuwabara as the dean seemed to appear out of nowhere, looking a little haggard "as energetic as always I see, Kuwabara-kun, I trust you enjoyed your first day?"

'Heart-attacks not included yes.' The taller man muttered internally, though he forced a smile on his face "They're a little tougher than I expected, but not too bad."

"Good, Oh! And before I forget again," he held up a key, "I've arranged for you to bunk with two students who own a private cottage on school grounds, there's a spare bedroom and all, but you may want to mind your manners."

'This feels like a set-up.' Kuwabara muttered, accepting the key, sweat dropping at the bat motif decoration, 'but I'm too tired to care either way.'

* * *

_As Kuwabara leaves..._

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Takamichi asked, the former member of Ala Rubra looking out the window as Kuwabara made his way down the steps to the woods "You know what she can be like after all."

"All to well," Konoemon muttered, the dean wincing as his back popped "but I assure you, Kuwabara-kun is more than capable of handling himself against the like of Evangeline." He sighed, "Besides, the next full moon is a long time off still."

"I hope you're right sir." Takamichi muttered, eyeing the night sky with a frown, 'God speed Kuwabara-kun…God speed.'

* * *

_A certain Cottage..._

"Master," a soft, quiet voice called out, two figures watching as their new roommate entered the house from the surrounding treetops, their presence concealed by various arcane and technological methods "Will this interfere with your plans?"

"Don't be stupid." The shorter of the two replied sharply, her long blonde hair trailing in the night breeze, "He's strong, but that just means I've a ready supply of blood in case of emergencies."

* * *

And there we have it, Kuwabara's first day as a respectable member of society...YEAH RIGHT!

What dangers await for him in the home of Evangeline? Will he retain his sanity in the madhouse that is 2A?

And why the hell hasn't Botan delivered the package?

Botan: Oh come on now enough is enough! (Patting her oar in her hand impatiently) Do I have to hit you again!

Shadowy figure: IT WAS MINE! HE WAS DEAD! THE PROPHACY-!

Botan: That's the problem with prophecies, they're open to interpretation. (Sits on the oar) Now are you coming Mr. Riddle?

Figure: DON'T CALL ME THAT! I AM THE LAST HEIR OF SALAZAR SLYTHERIN! I WILL NOT BE ADDRESSED BY A COMMON MUGGLE NAME!

Botan: Names and titles mean little when you're dead (Frowns) Now get up here or I'll hit you over the head again.

Voldemort: (humble voice) yes miss.

R&R! No reviews make chibi Nodoka cry!


	4. Chapter 4

And so the second day begins.

Warning, extreme use of innuendo implied.

Poor Kuwabara, he doesn't stand a chance!

* * *

4th period.

Kuwabara awoke with a yawn, switching off the alarm with a grimace, hoping he didn't wake his roommates. Rising out of bed, he eyed his surroundings warily, his sixth sense having made him tense ever since last night.

'Felt like I was in a Dracula Flick.' He muttered, making the bed sloppily as he made his way to the bathroom 'kept expecting a bat or something ta fly through the damn window all night.'

Grunting tiredly, the former tantei was just about to enter the bath when he heard, much to his horror, the sound of the door opening, realizing in his morning funk that he'd forgotten to lock it.

Therefore, it was much to his horror and shame that the door opened to admit a tall, green haired girl he dimly recalled from his class, her expressionless features looking him over, before bowing slightly. "Good morning sensei." She greeted, bowing politely "Will you be requiring any help washing up?"

"N-NO!" Kuwabara squawked, covering his manhood and reaching for a towel, his face redder than a tomato "T-HAT'S FINE! I MEAN…!" he cleared his throat, positioning the towel more decently before trying again, "I'm fine, sorry about this, I should've locked the door."

"It's quite alright," the girl offered quietly "Master usually leaves them unlocked anyway, seeing as it's been the two of us for so long." She bowed respectfully, "I shall be in the kitchen if you require any help."

And with that she left the mortified instructor to huddle in a corner and weep at how he'd gotten into this mess.

* * *

_Outside..._

"I heard what happened." Evangeline called out, startling her robotic servant as she leant against the wall, her arms crossed against her chest "Gotta remember to replace the keys, there's a man about after all."

"Hai," Chachamaru agreed, the green haired magical automaton bowing to her master respectfully from the waist, her hands clasped before her, her features expressionless "Will you be requiring anything master?"

"Earl Grey." Evangeline replied, nodding to her servant approvingly "Same as always, milk, no sugar." She waited for the robot to walk away, before grinning suddenly, deciding to have a little fun "See anything special?" she asked, pausing the robot in her tracks.

"Master?" Chachamaru wondered, the gynoid turning her head slightly to look at her vampiric master in confusion, only to blink at the look of unmistakeable mischief on the Shinso's childlike face.

"You know what I mean," the blonde smirked "your first time seeing one in person, how'd he measure up?"

Chachamaru blinked, her processor's trying to come up with a decent reply, finally deciding upon her evasive subroutines. "Rather impressive." She replied, making her way to the kitchen "If the manga Paru-san has on her site is any indication."

Evangeline blinked, wondering what on earth the gynoid was on about, before blinking at the mention of Saotome's manga. 'Didn't know she liked manga...' The undying magi muttered, pushing away from the wall with a sigh 'Bah, none of my business anyway.'

Though she couldn't shake the sudden desire to see just what the hell her servant was on about.

* * *

_Breakfast..._

After scalding and freezing himself in retribution for his carelessness, a rather stiff looking Kuwabara made his way down the steps, blinking blearily at the sheer amount of dolls he saw lying around the living room.

'Weird,' he shivered, trying to straighten his tie and failing miserably 'I didn't get a good look last night because I was so tired but…' he grimaced as the infernal piece of silk refused to tie properly 'Dammit! Shizuru made this look so damn easy!'

"Good morning Sensei." The calm voice called out, startling the man from his thoughts as he looked up to find himself at a breakfast table, the green haired girl from earlier laying a simple meal of toast and scrambled egg before him "Please, enjoy."

"Thanks." The man offered nervously, still embarrassed about being seen earlier, settling into a chair and buttering his toast. Looking up, he found the girl regarding him silently, causing him to shiver. "Something wrong?" he asked, to which she shook her head.

'Her names…Karakuri Chachamaru.' He recalled, watching as she turned to attend to the whistling kettle 'Weird…kinda reminds me of a robot, what with those ear things of hers.'

A set of footsteps drew his attention to the second roommate, who eyed him impassively, before sitting herself at the far end of the table, to the man's right.

'The creepy girl from before.' he muttered, eyeing her warily, as his sixth sense went off like a warning klaxon. He didn't know why, but he kept getting flashbacks of Rando every time he thought about her weird aura, like some sort of chained beast was leering at him through the bars of a rusted cage.

'Better safe than sorry.' He deduced, making sure his aura was suppressed 'if she is a threat, I can't very well just off her like before, I'd better let Koenma or someone know.'

"Sleep well sensei?" the blonde girl called out, setting her teacup on a saucer "I trust the room was to your liking?"

Kuwabara blinked, before nodding "It was, sorry again for the inconvenience," he chuckled weakly "I was as surprised as you are when the dean sent me here."

"Indeed." The girl replied, before finishing her tea and making her way up the steps.

* * *

Eva's POV...

'He's stronger than he looks,' Evangeline noted, the infamous Maga Nosferatu eyeing the man as he conversed with Chachamaru 'How strong I can't tell, but he's definitely reigning in some serious power.'

She grinned, wishing her fangs were back so she could at least appear more menacing. 'Perhaps this arrangement may prove useful after all.'

* * *

_Back to Kuwa..._

Kuwabara went through his things one more time, setting his briefcase on a desk as he once again tried to sort out his tie and failing dismally. "Having trouble sensei?" Chachamaru called out, already dressed in her school uniform as she noticed the man's dilemma.

"No I'm fine," Kuwabara replied, not looking away from the mirror "You two go on ahead, no sense in all three of us being late."

Evangeline snorted and made to do just that, only to blink as she discovered Chachamaru hadn't followed her as per the norm. Looking back, she blinked as the gynoid reached up to grasp a startled Kuwabara by the tie, correcting his collar while she was at it.

"This is a simple way if you practice," the gynoid instructed calmly, looping the tie carefully into a simple pattern, tightening it gently, "It wouldn't do for you to turn up looking scruffy on your second day."

Kuwabara blinked, before scratching the back of his head, embarrassed "Heh, arigato, Chachamaru-san," he offered, smiling with his eyes closed "You'll make someone a good wife someday."

Chachamaru felt her faceplate heat up slightly at this, before bowing to the man and moving to catch up with her master, uttering an apology for her actions. Evangeline eyed the gynoid carefully, before shooting the confused instructor a look and sighing. "Come on then," she called out, looking bored "We won't be late if you're with us."

* * *

_Later..._

Things progressed quietly that morning, the girls seemed a little less rambunctious, though he highly suspected this was because they'd already had a small riot during Negi's class, the exhausted look on the child sensei's face, and the fact that Asuna was looking livid, were clear giveaways. He did, however, have to contend with several booby traps, including an electrified door handle, funny chalk and tacks in his seat. Needless to say his sixth sense got him through unscathed, but this only seemed to encourage them to try harder.

'Seriously,' he muttered in amusement 'if they put a little more effort into their study habits as they do at this.' He tilted his head to the side to avoid a spitball, making it look as if he was scratching his neck, before eyeing an innocent looking Fuka with a smirk. "Spitting's a nasty habit Fuka-san." He chided the blinking girl, as he saw through her act with ease "You really shouldn't set such a bad example for your sister."

Whilst the elder twin blushed in embarrassment he smiled and held up his textbook, "Alright, now I'm sure you've all being paying close attention, so who can tell me how many bones there are in the human body?" he nodded as Konoka raised her hand, "Go ahead."

"206 sir." She called out, smiling the whole time, earning a nod from the professor as she retook her seat.

"Correct, and can anyone tell me the name of the largest muscle in the body?" he eyed the class carefully "Anyone? Or do I have to pick?"

The class all avoided looking him in the eye, except for two figures, one because she couldn't be bothered with the class, and the other as expressionless as always.

"Chachamaru-san." He called out, the tall girl blinking at her name, "Can you tell us what it is?"

"Gluteus Maximus." The green haired girl replied, standing as she spoke "It is the muscle that connect the back and leg muscles, otherwise known as the posterior or the-"

"Butt!" Sakurako cackled, the girls giggling as they began another small riot, "Man, never knew you were an expert on butts Chachamaru."

"I'm not really…" the girl replied, only to be nudged teasingly by the others, falling into silence.

"Aw c'mon," the cheerleader teased, "Everyone's got a preference, nothing strange about that!" She grinned, "I like 'em cute myself!"

"I like them nice and strong!" Haruna cackled, holding up a sketch of what looked suspiciously like a bodybuilding alien "gotta be stacked too!"

"That is quite enough!" Ayaka called out, slapping her hands on the desk as, to Kuwabara's confusion, flowers seemed to blossom behind her "I thought you'd know better than to clown around like you did with Negi-sensei! Bad enough Asuna strips down again, now you're disrupting the class to talk about your taste in men? Disgusting!"

"This coming from the cradle-robbing pedophile." Asuna muttered bitterly, the two launching into another catfight, only to blink as someone separated them by their jackets.

"Enough of that!" Kuwabara ordered, voice firm as he set both girls on their feet apart from one another "Asuna-san, that was uncalled for, and Ayaka-san, as class rep you should know better than to incite trouble." He eyed the two somber girls carefully, "Now I'm going to pretend this fight didn't happen, are we clear?"

"Hai." The girls agreed, returning to their respective seats, shooting each other passing looks.

"And as for the rest of you," he added, turning to eye the class "while I don't see the harm in gossiping amongst yourselves, I will not tolerate it during class." He blinked as Sakurako raised a hand in the air, already dreading what she was going to say.

"What's your preference Sensei?" she called out, the riot beginning again as the girls tried to ask him at once "You like 'em wild and energetic? Or calm and submissive?"

"The hell're you talking about?" Asuna spiked "What kind of thing is that to ask a teacher?"

"The best thing!" Misa replied, holding up a finger for emphasis "You can tell a lot about a guy just by knowing his preferences."

"You like 'em big and busty or petite and cute?" Asakura Kasumi asked, holding a microphone under the stunned sensei's nose "C'mon sensei! Spill!"

Kuwabara sputtered incoherently for a few seconds, before blinking as the bell sounded, never thinking he'd be so happy to hear it as he made a dash for the door.

* * *

_As Kuwabara escapes..._

"Aw-!" Makie whined, pouting as they watched the dust die down in the embarrassed sensei's wake "He always manages to get away."

"Just goes to show you!" Kasumi replied with a grin, "The man's obviously got SOMETHING embarrassing to hide."

"Maybe he's having an affair with someone!" Misa hypothesized "What if it's a member of the staff!"

"Yeah! Negi-kun's staying with Asuna and Konoka, maybe he's staying with Shizuna-sensei or Touko-sensei!"

"Actually," Chachamaru corrected, startling the group by speaking out "Sensei is boarding with me and Eva-sama."

Silence reigned for a few moments, before all chaos broke loose as everyone rounded on the gynoid faster than you could say 'grapevine'.

"REALLY?" Kasumi asked, pen and notepad at the ready, somehow balancing the microphone with her free hand "When did this happen?"

"Last night actually." Chachamaru supplied helpfully, wondering what the hubbub was about "The dean set it up, since there's little room to spare."

"That's so risqué Chachamaru!" Misa giggled, not noticing the look of blank confusion on her classmate's face "What if he takes advantage of you?"

"Yeah!" Asuna chipped in looking annoyed as hell "With a face like his I wouldn't be surprised if he pulls the old 'accidentally' walked in on the shower routine!"

"I am afraid that was my fault," Chachamaru assured her classmate, earning a blink "I assumed Eva-sama was in the bathroom and went in to assist her as the norm, I forgot Kuwabara-sensei wasn't aware the door keys were missing."

"Waitaminute…!" Kasumi stammered, face lighting up as she sensed a tremendous scoop rising before her like Moses parting the sea "You mean YOU walked in on HIM?"

"Affirmative." Chachamaru admitted, blinking as her classmates giggled and shrieked in shocked glee, wondering if she said something wrong.

"So the roles were reversed!" Misa cackled, holding her fingers to her lips to hide a wry smile "Spill it Chachamaru, what was he like?"

"He seemed quite distressed," the gynoid replied honestly "if anything he looked like a cornered cat."

"A wild one eh?" Sakurako giggled, whilst Madoka sighed depressingly at her friends' antics "You go girl!"

"Go where?" Chachamaru asked, blinking confusedly, only to be elbowed teasingly from the side.

"Details girl!" Kasumi egged, holding out her microphone, "Did you see anything? How big was he?"

"By estimated," the gynoid began, everyone leaning in to listen, "Kuwabara-sensei stands at around 6ft 3."

The group face faulted, Asuna and Konoka sweat dropping at their antics, before they rose again, spiking at her like a gang of alley cats. "Not that!" they yelled in tandem, "How BIG is he DOWN THERE?"

Chachamaru blinked again, wondering why on earth they were so interested in their sensei's physical status, wondering if it was acceptable or not to reveal what she'd deduced. The three laws made it clear that she was forced to obey the orders of humans, with Evangeline's orders ranking highest of all, however her logic systems deduced that revealing anything concrete could prove embarrassing for the orange haired professor. Deciding upon the same sub-routine selection as she'd done with her master, the gynoid opted for the cryptic route.

"It reminded me of page 37 of the fifteenth edition of Paru-san's private online manga." She revealed, causing a few to blink, knowing that Paru tended to be a little…creative when it came to her male cast "Perhaps a few errors however."

With that said she made her way back to her seat to prepare for the next class, leaving the group to their musings.

* * *

_As Chachamaru leaves..._

"Page 37? Of issue 15?" Makie wondered, blinking in confusion, "Paru's manga? What does she mean by that?"

"It's Haruna's nom de plume," Yue admitted, sipping on a carton of garlic juice, "She writes a few manga on the side, though their content is questionable."

"Hey!" Haruna countered "All the manga released to the public's strictly PG-13!" she turned her head away from her friend's opaque stare "Though I will admit there's a lot of tension in certain scenes."

"Tell me about it!" Konoka agreed, smiling innocently as she pointed at her muttering roommate "Asuna couldn't look Takahata-sensei in the eye after she read your 'Outlaw Shogun X' series!"

"KONOKA!"

Paru snickered, pushing her glasses up evilly, "Ho? You go for the rugged, older looking guys eh? That series was one of the best I've done yet."

"U-URUSEI!" Asuna spiked, "And anyway! What the hell did she mean by your 'private' manga?"

"Duh, the stuff I only sell at conventions." Paru replied, the bespectacled mangaka pulling out a laptop and setting it on her desk, "Lessee…issue fifteen…page 37…ah here it is!" she blinked, "Wait, WHAT?"

Everyone leaned in, the Narutaki twins trying to peep around the larger girls ineffectively, wondering why everyone was going so red in the face.

"Good GOD Haruna! What possessed you to draw that?" Yue stammered, eyes as wide as dinner plates as she tried to rouse a fainted Nodoka, who looked like she'd suffered level ten sunburn.

"They grow that big?" Makie eeped, her own eyes wide as she gaped at the image on the screen like a doe in the headlights.

"He having three legs Aru?" Ku Fei wondered confusedly, her eyes little white circles as she blinked at the screen. Beside her, Setsuna was trying not to die of mortification as she held her hand over Konoka's eyes, the girl blinking in confusion, wondering what the big deal was.

"Ara-ara," Chizuru exclaimed, a hand on her lips as she held a furiously blushing Natsumi in place "You really are the creative type, aren't you Haruna?"

"Creative?" Asuna spiked "She's mental! How the hell could anyone go around with something like THAT in his pants?"

"If what Chachamaru says is true," Kasumi noted, regaining her calm remarkably quick, her experience as a paparazzi-in training making her relatively quick to adapt "then Kuwabara-sensei doesn't seem to have any problem."

'Bakas.' Evangeline muttered, eyeing the shrieking girls with an annoyed frown from her desk, 'getting all worked up over something as trivial as that? How immature.'

She quashed the curious part of her mind that wondered just what it was that her ministra had implied, after all, it wasn't like the gynoid to be cryptic, especially with HER.

'Who cares,' she muttered at length, turning her head to the side to gaze out the window at the grounds 'He's just a blood bank, that's all.'

* * *

_With Kuwabara..._

'Sweet mother of Kami-sama on a bike what the hell is up with those girls?' Kuwabara wondered, gasping for breath as he leant against the wall next to a soda dispenser, placing the cool can against his forehead 'I mean, I've heard of being rowdy, but that was insane! I thought they were gonna lynch me!'

"Kuwabara-san?" a voice called out, the lanky professor turning to regard the confused form on Negi standing next to him concernedly, "Daijobu-deska?"

"I'm fine bozu," he assured the boy, grinning down tiredly "Just escaped from the zoo we all know as 2-A's all."

"They are rather rowdy," Negi admitted with a weak chuckle, scratching his head for emphasis. After sharing a chuckle, the two walked in amiable silence until they came to the fountain, sitting down on the steps, Kuwabara taking a long chug of soda.

"So how's things with Kagurazaka and the dean's granddaughter?" the taller professor asked "They giving you hell at the dorms?"

"Not really," Negi admitted, "Konoka-san makes a pretty good breakfast and Asuna-san usually leaves for her paper route pretty early anyways." He slumped in depression "The problems all seem to happen in class."

"Lemme guess, they started getting rowdy again?" Kuwabara asked, patting the boy's back in a comradely fashion.

"Worse," Negi moaned, tears streaming down his cheeks comically "I ended up humiliating Asuna-san in front of the class, I just know she's the type to hold a grudge."

'Most teenagers are.' Kuwabara thought with a wince, 'and then there's that temper of hers…'

"A-ano…"

The duo looked up, blinking at the library trio, Haruna and Yue standing just behind Nodoka, who was looking oddly flushed. Kuwabara sweatdropped as he noticed that Haruna was giving him a very intimidating grin, something Jaws would wear at a nudie beach. "Ano…sensei…" Nodoka stuttered, trying to avoid looking at Kuwabara, "C-could you…help me with something?"

"Sure!" Negi agreed, smiling up at her, "By the way, I like what you've done with your hair, it suits you."

"Sure does." Kuwabara opined, trying to avoid looking at Paru's leer "You really should keep it like that, it's cute."

Nodoka flushed at the compliments and fled, a concerned Yue trailing after her whilst the two senseis blinked in confusion. "Was it something I said?" Kuwabara muttered dumbly, shivering as a feeling of impending DOOM settled over him.

"Sensei." Haruna drawled, her face shadowed menacingly, her eyes seeming to glow eerily, "would you mind coming with me for a minute?"

Kuwabara didn't like the way she was holding her sketchpad; he'd never been so scared of a pen so much in his life either.

"You see," Haruna continued "there's an art competition coming up and I could really use a model to base my work on…" she blinked as the lanky professor made for the hills, before cackling madly and charging after him, tools of her trade held overhead menacingly.

Negi was left on his own, question marks circling his skull as he tried to figure out what the hell happened, the sound of glass rolling across the granite steps making him look down to espy a small vial of pills.

* * *

Cue the nadesico theme music!

Will Kuwabara escape from the demented Paru-san and retain his dignity?

Will Nodoka act oin her feelings for Negi?

And will Botan finally get her act together?

Hey, what's this? Is that a stampede?

Worse! Love is in the air! and it's champion is caught in the crossfire!

Run Kuwabara! un like your lifew depends on it! You virtue certainly does!

Next time, on Reikai sensei Kuwabara: madness with love!

Yue: the title needs work.

R&R! noi reiviews make chibi-nodoka cry!


	5. Chapter 5

Some of you voiced some concerns as to the sanity of involving Kuwabara, the pills, and 2A

Those concerns have been noted, and ignored for the pure crack value.

That said, let the orgy...I mean story, begin!

* * *

5th period.

Kuwabara Kazuma was never one to be called a coward. He'd been called idiot, moron and various versions of the word ugly, but never a coward. In his time he'd vaulted across a lake of lava, gone toe-to-toe with a veritable menagerie of freaks and even traveled all the way to hell and back in order to save the day.

So it may come as quite a surprise to see him running like his life depended on it from a bespectacled manga-ka determined to strip him down and pose for her manga.

Now most men would be flattered at this, some may even be a little interested. But Kuwabara was a sensei now, and he couldn't condone such actions from his students. That, and the look on Haruna's face reminded him WAY too much of something out of one of Yusuke's secret stash of Hentai movies.

Rounding a corner, the lanky sensei summoned his aura and leapt, grabbing a tree branch and hoisting himself up just as Haruna rounded the corner. "Where'd he go?" the manga-ka wondered, looking annoyed, before catching sight of an open window "AHA! Inside! You won't escape me Sensei!"

'I can sure as hell try!' the instructor muttered, exhaling slowly as he caught his breath in the safety of the tree "Jeez, whatever happened to schoolgirls being meek and demure?"

"The times they are a changing!" a bubbly voice opined, resulting in Kuwabara almost falling out of the tree "Sorry about that, but it looked like you were having a little trouble there."

Kuwabara pushed his head out of the leaves, blinking at the sight of the blue haired ferry girl he'd once harbored a crush on. "Are you crazy?" he hissed, looking around desperately, "What if someone sees you?"

"Relax will you?" Botan assured him, "In this form, only those with connections to the other side can see me, that should only be you unless Intel screwed up."

Kuwabara kept his thoughts about the quality of Reikai's Intelligence to himself as he looked up at the ferrywoman inquisitively, "So what're ya hear for?" he asked "You on the clock or just passin' through?"

"Actually I came to give you this." Botan admitted, holding up a parcel and videocassette, which he caught with a blink.

"Hasn't Koenma ever heard of DVDs?" he asked, eyeing the bulky cassette, to which Botan shrugged.

"Tell HIM that." She muttered sarcastically "He keeps going on about budgets and reliability and Blue-ray…"

"I get the picture." Kuwabara muttered, sweat dropping at the mental image "So what's in this?"

"No clue," Botan admitted "I only managed to bring it to you because I'm on a break at the minute." She smiled at the man, before lowering herself to the floor, oar vanishing as she did so. "I think I'll just see what the campus town has to offer before heading back."

"You do that." Kuwabara stated, pocketing the video for later, "I'll look at these when I've got a moment, right now I gotta get back to class."

Botan nodded and walked off, her kimono shifting into a pair of jeans and her green and yellow sweater, before jogging off with a smile. Kuwabara waited until the coast was clear, before climbing down and dusting himself off.

'Now to just sneak in without anyone noticing and-OOF?'

The lanky instructor was bowled over as a small projectile collided with his stomach, knocking the two to the floor. Looking up revealed a distressed looking Negi, eyes wide with shock as the beaker he was carrying spilled some of its contents into Kuwabara's mouth. "AH! Kuwabara-san!" the ten-year old gasped, getting to his feet, "Daijobu?"

Kuwabara coughed, having swallowed some of the liquid as it hit him, a good half if what remained in the beaker was any indication. 'BLEAGH! What is that stuff?' he shook himself and refrained from spitting 'Ugh. Tastes like hell warmed over.' He blinked as he noted the look of concern on the boy's face, "You okay bozu? You look a little flustered there."

Negi blinked, before shaking himself with a sigh, muttering something about 'not swallowing it' before helping the taller man to his feet, "Nothing really, just looking for Asuna-san."

"Planning to woo her off her feet with a peace offering?" Kuwabara teased, to which Negi blinked in confusion "Never mind, I think she's in the study hall right now, want me to come with?"

Negi nodded, walking alongside the man as they spoke amiably. They passed by Shizuna sensei, who blinked at Kuwabara, a flush coming to her cheeks as she smiled at him. Touko sensei, who was walking alongside her, flushed slightly and offered a weak greeting.

'They got colds or something?' Kuwabara wondered, noticing how the two seemed to be gazing after him longingly 'hope it isn't catching.' He blinked as he was snapped back to reality by Negi's frantic squawk, looking up to see they had not only entered the classroom, but that Asuna was forcing the youth to swallow the contents of the beaker. "Kagurazaka!" he snapped, the girl jumping as she hadn't noticed him come in with Negi, striding over and patting the spluttering teen on the back "Just what d'ya think you're doin? He could've choked!"

Asuna blinked and looked away, looking ashamed of herself for losing her temper. Negi had only been trying to help since he got here, wasn't his fault that the magic seemed to be on the fritz. She blinked as she noticed the dazed expression on her classmates' faces, sweat-dropping as they seemed to circle the two senseis like dazed cattle. It wasn't until Konoka started rubbing her cheek against Negi and the cheerleaders started purring around Kuwabara did the two men realize their danger.

"W-what the-!" Kuwabara yelped, slapping Misa's hand away from his buttock and rounding on them "What're you girls doing have you lost your-?" he trailed off as he took in the flushes and dazed expressions on their faces, "What th' hell?"

"Kuwabara-san!" Negi implored, the lanky professor turning to gape at the sight of his co-worker being stripped down to his undies "DASKETE!"

"NEGI-UMPH!" Kuwabara tried to yell, only for Sakurako to take the opportunity to stuff his mouth with cake. Choking the food down, the orange haired man shot to his feet, knocking the girls off with a gasp and dashing over, grabbing the traumatized Negi around the waist like a rugby ball and making a dash for the door, easily making it thanks to his build. Behind him, he heard the telltale signs of a love-struck stampede following close behind. "What th' hell's goin' on?" he yelled, "Did someone spike th' canteen juice or somethin?"

"SUMIMASEN!" Negi offered, pulling his pants back up with a grimace "I only wanted to help Asuna!"

"Negi-sensei! Kuwabara-sensei!" the horde called out, little hearts circling their heads as they chased their prey down the corridor "We love you Sensei!"

"This is wrong on sooo many levels!" Kuwabara yelled over the din, Negi shuddering in agreement under the man's arm.

"At least things can't get any worse right?" the Englishman asked, only for something to rear out before them whinnying wildly.

"OOOOOHOHOHOHO!" Ayaka cackled, rearing ahead of the stunned duo atop a white steed "Negi-sensei! Let us consummate our love!".

"Where in th' hell did she get a horse?" Kuwabara all but screamed, dashing away in the opposite direction, the deranged denizens of 2A on their heels.

"Matte! Kuwabara-sensei!" a voice called out, a flushed looking Touko-sensei charging towards him, sword in hand "I must have you!"

"You'll never take me alive!" Kuwabara yelled leaping out a window, glass shattering as Negi screamed in shock, the man landed on his feet, running as soon as he caught his bearings.

"You won't escape!" Touko sensei called out, leaping out the window and charging the duo, a maniacal look in her eyes as she shifted into the shinmeiryuu combat mode "I'll track you down to the ends of the earth!".

"The hell kinda weirdos does this school hire!" Kuwabara yelled, completely ignoring his escape through a third story window "And just what th' hell's goin' on?"

"It's the love potion!" Negi called out "The effects are supposed to wear off in an hour or so, we just need to avoid them till then!"

"Love potion?" Kuwabara repeated, ducking a flying student, who wound up in a trash bin, "The hell you talkin' about? You mean that beaker?"

"Hai!" Negi repeated, clapping his hands together in apology "I'm really sorry! I just wanted to help Asuna-san!"

"Talk later!" Kuwabara yelled, dodging a burst of air from Touko sensei "We gotta spilt up!" He set Negi on his feet and the two separated, half the Hentai horde following the diminutive Welshman, the other the lanky former reikai tantei as he made his way to the town square.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

Botan smiled as she held up a cute looking 'T' with angel wings around a logo, only to blink as the sound of thunder filled the air. She looked round in confusion just as a bolt of lightning descended at the heels of a rather frantic Kuwabara, who was blasted forwards by the impact. "Kuwabara-kun!" she yelled, stepping forwards as the man picked himself up, "Are you alright?"

"Fine, fine," the former tantei muttered hurriedly, getting to his feet with the air of a man possessed "Gotta run, crazy, love-struck swordswoman on my tail!"

"Wha-? Love struck?" Botan repeated, watching the man vanish in confusion, only to shriek as a woman with long hair in a business skirt and suit jacket leapt past, nodachi in hand.

"Hold Kuwabara-sensei!" she yelled, launching a Zankuusen at the man, "You cannot escape my love!"

"I can damn well try!" Kuwabara shrieked back, ignoring the screams as the street was torn up behind him.

Botan blinked in confusion as the bizarre duo disappeared, only for a horde of flustered looking schoolgirls to appear in their wake. "Kuwabara-sensei!" they called out, looking about desperately, "We only want your babies!"

Botan blinked, before slowly raising her fingers to her cheek and giving herself a rather savage pinch. When the pain finally subsided, revealing that this WASN'T some twisted nightmare concocted from some bad sake, the blue haired ferrywoman promptly took to her oar and made to find her former pursuer.

* * *

_On Campus..._

'This is my fault.' Asuna moaned, leaping through the riot of female hormones as she tried to catch up to the errant senseis 'If only I hadn't lost my temper!'

"Negi-sensei!" Ayaka called out, a lasso in one hand as she rode her mount through the halls like a rustler "Come out and play!"

'Note to self, never ask where she got the horse.' Asuna muttered, steering right to avoid her rival as she kept an eye out for Negi.

* * *

_With Kuawbara..._

'Think I lost her.' Kuwabara breathed, eyeing around a corner as Touko-sensei charged past, panting heavily, though not due to exhaustion if the look in her eyes was any sign, 'man, how the hell do I get into these messes?'

When he was absolutely certain the woman was gone he peeked out, sighing in relief as he noticed the herd of schoolgirls wandering off in the wrong direction.

"You know," Botan opined, startling him as she appeared behind him, "A few years ago you'd have died for an opportunity like this."

"I'm not the same punk kid that used ta scrap with Urameshi for kicks." Kuwabara countered, sighing in relief, "Besides, I have Yukina-chan, and they're my students anyway."

"You go Kuwa-kun." Botan chirped, before budging up slightly and patting her oar with a smile, "Need a lift back to campus?"

"You're not gonna start hanging all over me too are ya?" the lanky professor muttered cautiously, earning a raised eyebrow from the ferrywoman, "Point taken."

He gripped the oar tightly as it took off, the two effectively disappearing from sight courtesy of the magic of reikai. Kuwabara winced as he espied Touko-sensei charging around like a bull elephant, her blouse partially undone and looking even more hot-and-bothered by the minute. 'That woman seriously needs to get laid.' He muttered, 'Even Shizuru never got this worked up.'

"So any idea what's going on?" Botan asked, as the two made their way back to the campus "I mean, no offence Kuwa-kun but you aren't the type to have women chasing after you in packs."

"None taken," Kuwabara muttered weakly, knowing he wasn't the prettiest tool in the shed "Negi mentioned something about a love potion, think I swallowed half of it when he bumped inta me, poor squirt got the other half when Kagurazaka forced it down his throat."

"Love potion?" Botan repeated, blinking in confusion, "Oh my, do they still make those ridiculous things?"

"Y'mean they're real?" Kuwabara blinked, earning a nod from Botan as she swerved to dodge a lamppost.

"Oh yeah, but they're considered illegal, messing with a person's emotions is considered a form of brainwashing." She sighed "There've been numerous cases where an innocent, misplaced crush ended up in something horrible happening down the line."

"Wow," Kuwabara muttered, looking a little green "And here I thought stuff like this only happened in shoujo manga."

"You'd be surprised." Botan admitted, "But then again, your own life could fit into a manga plot as well."

Kuwabara would have replied when a high pitched squeal cut through the air, causing him to snap his attention to the library window. "That sounded like Negi!"

* * *

_Library..._

For the umpteenth time that day Negi Springfield cursed ever having met Kagurazaka Asuna, opening his stupid trap, levitating the damned eraser and most of all, concocting the stupid love potion that was currently driving Miyazaki Nodoka to attempt to have her not-so-wicked way with him.

Just as he was resigned to the loss of his virginity, a pair of strong hands grabbed the girl by the shoulders and pulled her gently, yet firmly, off the ten-year old. She struggled briefly, only to sigh as a swift chop to the neck rendered her unconscious.

"You really are something else ya know?" Kuwabara muttered, shaking his head in exasperation whilst Botan lowered the unconscious librarian to the floor, "Haven't even hit puberty and you've already had more girl problems than most guys I know."

Negi sweatdropped, eyeing the blue haired woman his colleague had come in with, wondering how on earth they'd done so. The only way into the room was through the front door, and Nodoka had the key.

"Now you gonna tell me what's going on?" Kuwabara asked, squatting down so he was eye level with the boy, "Level with me, you're no ordinary ten-year-old are you?"

Negi stammered and tried to think of a way out of the situation when a high pitched yell tore through the air, followed by a deafening crash as Asuna's legendary flying jump kick shattered the door, sending splinters and chunks of wood flying in all directions.

"Negi! Are you okay?" the redhead called out, only to blink as she caught sight of the magician cowering behind a startled Kuwabara. She noticed the blue haired woman off to the side, supporting a slumbering Nodoka's head in her lap, before turning to look at the two sensei's in confusion. "Just what the hell is going on here?" she asked, which Kuwabara felt summed up everything rather nicely.

* * *

_Later..._

"A mage huh?" Kuwabara repeated, walking alongside Negi as the ten year-old nodded gloomily, "And if anyone finds out you'll be turned into a ferret?"

"An ermine actually," the Welshman corrected, sighing exhaustedly, as he could practically feel the weight of the grand council's stares as they towered over his transfigured form, "It's to ensure the magical world remains secret, otherwise we'd have widespread chaos and wouldn't be able to do our jobs."

"Makes sense to me." Kuwabara reasoned, hands in his pockets, with Asuna bringing up the rear with Botan, the two taking animatedly about something or other, "I mean, what with all the witch hunts and all." He winced as Negi shivered, before grinning at him, "Relax would ya? I ain't the type to spill anyone's secrets."

Negi sniffled a little, before beaming up at the man gratefully, before looking up as Asuna called for him to catch up. "Suman, Kuwabara-san!" the ten-year-old called out, waving back at his older colleague "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Pleasant little kid isn't he?" Botan noted, smiling after the pleasant little boy as he made to catch up with his hotheaded student/roommate.

"Sure is." Kuwabara agreed "hard to believe he's a sensei as well." He snorted at the dumbfounded look on the ferrywoman's face "Yeah, my reaction was the same, now what say we take a look at this?"

He held up the videotape and frowned, looking around carefully in case they were being watched. The courtyard was deserted, but the psychically gifted educator wasn't one to take chances. "My place doesn't even have a TV, Lets see if I can get Takamichi to lend me the A.V room.

* * *

_Elsewhere..._

Asakura Kasumi waved to the cheerleaders as they filed out, routing through her desk one last time, as she made sure she had everything. Sighing dejectedly, the Mahora paparazzi shouldered her book bag and made for the classroom door, muttering to herself as she did.

'So much for my big scoop.' She muttered, 'Not only did the rioters not have a clue but they all seemed too exhausted to even walk straight, let alone answer questions.'

Kasumi had been in the darkroom at the time, developing photos for the school website when she'd heard about the hormonal stampede that was hunting the campus for two male teachers. She'd dashed out hoping to get first dibs on the scandal, only to find that not only were said educators gone, but the rioters had no idea what they'd been doing for the past half hour.

'Still,' she chuckled, patting her camera 'It isn't every day you see Touko sensei half naked and panting like that.' The normally reserved teacher had nearly decapitated her when she took the photo, which made it all the more valueable.

She blinked as she noticed something, namely the new science teacher looking around furtively, before opening the door to the A.V room, a video cassette in one hand as he gestured for a blue-haired girl to follow.

'Hey now!' she noted, eyes widening as she hid behind the corner 'What was that? Could that be Kuwabara-sensei's girlfriend? She doesn't look any older than me!' She began to breath heavily as various scenarios ran through her skull 'And what was that video? He looked pretty nervous as he led them in…OMIGAWD! Could they be watching a Porno? In school?'

Saying a silent thank you to the gods of journalism, the paparazzi in the making made her way silently to the door of the A.V. Room, sliding it open easily and looking in to find the couple had their backs to her. "I still don't see why he doesn't just use DVD's." Kuwabara-sensei muttered, shaking his head as he hit the play button on the remote.

"He still has troubles with CD players as it is." The blue haired woman pointed out, "And don't get me started on computers and I-pods."

"A toddler's a toddler no matter how old he is huh?" Kuwabara snorted, the two chuckling at some inside joke that made Kasumi grin.

'Hoh? So there's a third party? Could he be Kuwabara-sensei's source?' she was rapidly making notes, turning to eye the screen as the other two turned towards it.

* * *

_Koenma's video..._

"Hello Kuwabara." Koenma greeted after the cheesy opening credits rolled on "I heard the good news, congratulations on your post."

"I still can't believe I worked for a toddler." Kuwabara muttered to Botan who hushed him with a guilty look in her eye.

"As it stand s though this isn't a personal call, as you know the Kekkai was permanently dropped following the end of the Makai tournament, and while things HAVE been running smoothly it isn't my nature to put all my trust in others, particularly those who've been trying to kill me for the last few millennia."

"No shit." Kuwabara muttered, only to receive an elbow to the head from Botan for not paying attention.

"As it stands," the toddler-god continued "with Yusuke permanently discharged from active service due to his half-blood lineage I find myself at a bit of a quandary, that's where YOU come in."

Clearing his throat the ruler of reikai eyed the camera, suddenly appearing in his adult form, pacifier and all, as he pointed at the camera, and by Proxy, Kuwabara.

"Henceforth, I, Koenma, acting ruler of Reikai, hereby appoint you, Kuwabara Kazuma, as the Yondaime Reikai Tantei." He smiled around the pacifier "I look forward to working with you again…oh, and Botan will be assisting you from now on, Have fun!"

Kuwabara was silent for a moment, a look of pure disbelief crossing his features at the toddler's words. Sure he'd always made cracks about taking the title from Urameshi in the past, hell he'd usually done it to get his rival's ass in gear, knowing the teen had the pride of a mule and a punch to match. But here Koenma had PERSONALLY recruited him, and the way he'd said it made it clear that refusal WASN'T an option.

"Kuwa-kun?" Botan asked, looking over at the newly, or rather officially instated Tantei in concern "You okay?"

Kuwabara blinked, eyeing the now static-filled screen for a moment, before nodding, a smile on his face. "Yeah…I'm fine."

At the back of the class, Asakura Kasumi tried to figure out just what the hell was going on. For the last few minutes the two had simply sat staring at a screen of white noise, which promptly cut off to static as the tape came to an end, making the odd comment now and again.

'Could it be some sort of hypnotic trance?' she wondered 'Or maybe some secret coded message you need special contacts and ear plugs for?' Either way the Mahora Paparazzi grinned in anticipation. It seemed she may have found something interesting after all.

* * *

Cue Nadesico music.

Stop the presses! there's a new scandal in town!

Goings on between student and teacher? Naughty Naughty Sensei!

And what's this? Seems trouble's afoot!

Ganbare Kuwabara kun! your students need you

Next time on reikai sensei Kuwabara: Innocence is fleeting!

Yue: The title still needs work


	6. Chapter 6

Seems like things are heating up for our beloved doofus huh?

Anyone care to wager ther'll be a riot in this chapter too?

...on second thoughts don't bother, this is 2A, riots are second nature.

* * *

6th period.

Kuwabara looked down the corridor to ensure the coast was clear. No sign of either roommate in sight as he tiptoed towards the bathroom, hoping that this time he wouldn't be disturbed.

'Catch me once, shame on you.' He muttered, sighing as he let the hot water of the shower wash the midnight oil away in preparation for a new day. 'So this is what being a real tantei feels like…when did I get a rash on my-?'

"Kuwabara-sensei?" Chachamaru called out, staring calmly as the man in question let out a high pitched yell his vocal chords would regret later as he clung to the ceiling like a startled cat "I came to return the key for the bathroom, and have placed it in the lock for you."

"You…thank you." Kuwabara stammered, hyperventilating as he clung to the ceiling, embarrassed by her flat stare "Ano…not to be rude but…could you…?"

"Of course." The gynoid replied, catching the meaning behind the man's plight, "I apologize once again if I inconvenienced you."

'I'll say you inconvenienced me!' the man wanted to scream 'I probably lost a year off my life! How does she keep slipping under my senses?'

He settled for dropping back to the floor and resuming his shower, with the water alternating between scalding and freezing alternatively.

* * *

_Downstairs..._

"And the high school comedy continues." Eva noted with a smirk as Chachamaru passed her seat, before sipping at a coffee cup delicately "Did you scare a few inches off him?"

"Master?" the gynoid queried, turning to eye the grinning high-daylight walker in polite confusion.

"Most men that suffer a scare like that tend to 'shrink', if you catch my drift." The centuries old Lollita teased setting down her cup "Seems like a waste if what you're hinting is right."

"I didn't notice any shrinkage master." Chachamaru replied cryptically "He seemed a little larger hanging off the ceiling though."

"Eh? Ceiling?" Eva repeated, wondering if her servant was trying to be funny, only to be interrupted as Kuwabara stumbled down the steps, looking bar-broiled.

"Ohayo." He greeted, tying his ponytail up as he came down, dressed in a plain white suit pants with black shirt and red tie, which he was stubbornly trying to do up, the matching white suit coat over his arm. "Goddamn piece of silk, maybe I should switch to a clip-on."

"A gentleman must always look his best." Chachamaru countered, fixing the tie as before, earning a blink from the man "I wouldn't do to set a bad example by cutting corners."

Kuwabara blinked, before smiling embarrassedly down at the gynoid "I suppose you're right, Arigato, Chachamaru-san."

"Oi, lovebirds." Eva called out from the door, a faint scowl across her face as she eyed the flustered duo "We're going to be late."

* * *

_Later..._

'What the hell is up with Eva-san?' Kuwabara muttered, still embarrassed from the blonde's comment earlier that day as he made his way to class. Negi had passed him in the hall looking depressed and he made a note to check up on the boy later.

As it were, the minute he set foot in the classroom his hackles rose and it was only his swift reflexes that saved him from the rope trap set in the door. "What's the meaning of this?" he asked, only to duck as a net was hurled at him, followed by a plethora of ropes, chains and, to his mortification, undies, that he barely avoided. "WHAT'S GOING ON!" he all but bellowed, only to receive a flying kick to the back of the head that sent him stumbling face first into the floor, where he was promptly dog piled on.

'SHIT! Is that potion still in effect?' the tantei wondered as he was dragged to a chair and tied to it, noting that someone had been in the scouts before the shutters were closed and the lights dimmed, a flashlight shining in his face.

"Hello sensei." A cheerful voice greeted, revealing it to be Asakura Kasumi that held the lamp "Have you been a bad boy?"

"What in the hell are you thinking!" Kuwabara yelled, "Is this anyway for young women to act?"

"Are you really one to talk?" Asakura asked, leaning forwards, "So, have fun in the A.V room last night?"

'She was there?' Kuwabara gaped, 'Shit! Did she see the video? I thought only people with sixth sense could see it!'

"I don't know what you're talking about." He lied, only to blink as the paparazzi held up pictures.

"No?" Kasumi repeated, placing pictures of him and Botan before him "Then what were you two doing so clandestinely last night?"

"Yeah! Out with the goods!" Sakurako's voice called out from the shadows "Were you two watching a porno together?"

"Ooh naughty sensei!" Misa called out, as giggling erupted around the classroom, revealing that the entire crew was apparently here.

"Is that your girlfriend sensei?" Makie asked excitedly "She doesn't look any older than us! Is she a student?"

"Kuwabara-sensei!" came Ayaka's shocked voice "I…I thought you were a proper gentleman despite your appearance but for you to be acting in such a way-!"

"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" Kuwabara bellowed, actually shaking the room and knocking the closest girls off their feet by amplifying the yell with reiki.

'Impressive set of lungs.' Eva noted, her night vision giving her a perfect view of the man's flushed features as he took a breath to compose himself. Across from her, Sakurazaki Setsuna fought down the urge to let her wings burst out from the shock, the power in the sensei's yell chiming with her own chi in a very disconcerting way.

'Very Powerful' the half-bird tribe warrior noted warily, wondering if Asakura had perhaps gone too far, eyes widening as Kuwabara stood up, snapping the bonds around him with apparently little trouble.

"Alright," Kuwabara muttered darkly "A joke's a joke but this is going too far." He glared in the direction of Kasumi before calling out "Ayase-san, could you hit the lights please?"

'How'd he know I was closest?' Yue wondered, making her way to the switch and turning it on, bathing the classroom in light.

"Now first off." Kuwabara began "Let me assure you that there is NOTHING going on between me and the woman in the photo." He eyed the class sternly, silencing their questions with a look "She's just an old friend that stopped by for a chat."

"Then what was with the video?" Sakurako pointed out, a clamor rising up until he held up his hand.

"Did Asakura actually TELL you what was on it?" he asked snorting as everyone turned to eye the nervous reporter "It was nothing more than white noise, I happen to find it very soothing."

"Then…then…why didn't you watch it at home?" Sakurako asked, desperately trying to hold onto the fun for as long as possible.

"There is now viewing equipment at our lodgings." Chachamaru spoke up, startling the others "If Sensei had wanted to view the tape the A.V room was the logical choice."

The class was silent for a moment, before looking at Kuwabara nervously. "So there wasn't any saucy action?" the cheerleaders asked hopefully, their gossip material vanishing before their eyes.

"None." Kuwabara stated flatly, arms crossed and tapping his foot to shoe his ire. He smirked as the girls swallowed as one, save for the dark-skinned pair at the back, the pale Chinese girl, the one with her hair in a ponytail at the side and his roommates.

It was Ayaka who broke the silence, clearing her throat in embarrassment as she stood forward "Kuwabara-sensei…in light of the, circumstances, perhaps we all got a little carried away…I humbly apologize for the class."

"No problem at all!" Kuwabara replied, smiling at them, as they looked up at him in shock "It was all a misunderstanding, I should've been more careful, knowing how energetic you all are."

He let them raise their hopes a little, the proverbial choir and light shining behind him, before he turned his back on them and pulled out a stack of papers. "And since you're all so energetic, I think it's time for a pop quiz!"

'Damn no wonder Iwamoto was such an ass.' He noted, cackling madly on the inside as the classroom sunk into the depths of despair, several shooting murderous glances towards Asakura 'I think I could get to enjoy this!'

* * *

_Elsewhere..._

Negi sighed as he sat in his chair in the teacher's lounge, wondering if he should just throw in the towel when a large hand ruffled his hair. "What's up bozu?" Kuwabara greeted, setting down a stack of papers as he took his seat next to the boy "You look like your cat just died."

"It's hopeless." The wizard in training sniffed, startling the older man "I'm a failure as a magician and a teacher."

"What happened?" Kuwabara asked, and had to fight down a laugh as Negi revealed what had transpired that morning "Well of course she was pissed, girl's are pretty weird when it comes to silly things like their weight and bathing."

"I only wanted to help." Negi insisted, sighing in defeat, "But every time I try to use magic it backfires."

"So don't use it." Kuwabara replied, causing the boy to blink in confusion "Your test says you had to come here to teach right? Don't know about you but most teachers seem to manage without magic." He smiled at the boy "Try thinking about how to help her as a teacher, not a wizard."

"Help who?" Shizuna-sensei asked, startling the conversing duo with a warm smile "Ah Negi-sensei, Takahata-sensei wanted me to give you the after class session list for 2A."

"After class?" Kuwabara repeated, as Negi accepted the list, "you mean study sessions for students who flunked?"

"Pretty much, every now and again Takahata-sensei would give pop-quizzes," Shizuna revealed "Those who scored low stayed late for tutoring."

"Speak of the devil." Kuwabara noted, patting his own stack of papers "I just gave one today."

"May I see?" Shizuna asked, only to blink as she espied a folder in Kuwabara's handwriting on the top that read: 'Abandon all hope, all ye who mark these grades.'

"Lets just say they should be glad the local high school accepts them regardless of grades." Kuwabara stated with a guilty grin, he HAD been pretty brutal on the girls, but they HAD asked for it, putting him on the spot like that. He noticed Negi giggle at a picture of the usual suspects on Takahata's list.

"Asuna could certainly use tutoring." The welsh wizard agreed lightly, "But she'd never accept it from me."

"She never minded before." Shizuna noted with a smile, "Though back then it was Takamichi taught those so for you it'd be a different story."

'Takamichi?' Kuwabara noted, eyeing the well-endowed sensei carefully 'A little familiar are we? Looks like Asakura missed out on more than one scoop.' Shrugging it off he grinned, "Aw what the heck, lets do it bozu." He grinned at Negi "Between your smarts and my skills we'll have those girls acing tests before the week's up."

Negi smiled and clenched his fist "Hai, Kuwabara-san!"

* * *

_Cue the new Ginyu force theme!_

"Deep as the ocean," Kaede called out "Baka Blue!"

"Bright as the sun!" Ku replied "Baka Yellow!"

"Full of energy!" Makie greeted "Baka Pink!"

"Dark as Night." Yue Droned "Baka black...and Asuna's Baka red."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BAKA?" Asuna yelled, blushing in embarrassment as the others posed behind the desks, Haruna holding up a stereo with a theme song playing.

"Together we are:" Yue continued as if the redhead hadn't said anything "The Mighty Morphing Baka Rangers!"

Kuwabara and Negi merely stood there, as the scene died away, the sound of waves crashing in the background. 'What the hell?' was the thought the two educators shared, faces neutrally blank as they tried to come to grips with the bizarre sight before them.

"Pose successful." Yue noted, sipping at her juice carton, hot cola this time "We broke the enemies' minds."

"Whatever." Asuna huffed, shrugging her shoulders dismissively "I just have a lot on my mind that's all I'll make it to high school on my own…eventually."

"With grades like this you won't get far." Kuwabara cut in, his words stabbing into the redhead as he held up his test paper from that morning "Cripes, if Takahata saw this he'd rip his hair out."

"U-URUSEI!" Asuna shot back, spiking defensively "You sprung that on us! It didn't count!"

"But Asuna-san." Negi pointed out, looking over the sheet with a sweatdrop "You even spelt your name wrong."

Asuna flushed scarlet and hung her head in defeat as her 'comrades' patted her consolingly on the back, taking their seats as the two senseis began dishing out test papers. "Right, Now Kuwabara sensei and I are going to hand out a ten point quiz to start off." Negi instructed from the front "You can leave after you score at least six points."

"And no cheating off one another." Kuwabara added, smirking at them "It'd do no good if you all copied the wrong answer right?"

The two instructors took their positions at the front, taking it in turns to patrol the desks, Kuwabara shooting nervous glances at Haruna and Nodoka, the former of which was giving him the willies with that look in her eye. And was she drooling?

"Here y'go." Yue announced, snapping the lanky professor out of his thoughts, blinking at the clock, she hadn't even taken five minutes!

"S-Sugoi Yue-san!" Negi praised, marking the tests with a smile on his face "Nine points for both! Good for Yue…Erm…YOU Yue."

"You could smile you know." Kuwabara insisted with a smirk, only for Yue to look up at him with a kitty-mouth expression.

"This Is my smile." She said plainly, leaving the stunned instructors behind as Haruna and Nodoka joined her, the former sending Kuwabara hungry looks that made him shiver. He was snapped out of his thoughts by the arrival of Makie, Fei and Kaede, who handed up their papers eagerly. Their looks of eagerness shifted to looks of embarrassment as the two instructors gaped at their papers, not ONE got above five.

"Asuna-san? How's it going?" Negi asked, only for the redhead to hand over the paper in embarrassment; earning a double grade of 2.

"O-kay." Kuwabara sighed, pulling out some cards and shuffling them, "Lets try this a little differently, anyone up for a game?" he grinned at their looks of eager confusion "A friend of mine taught me this, it's good for concentration and perfect for group study."

He shuffled the cards and dealt them out evenly to the girls. "Now, everyone take a look and read the information on the cards, try to memorize as much as possible, then place them face down."

The girls did so, only for Kuwabara to pull out a card from random "Now, who can tell me past tense of 'READ'?"

"OH! OH!" Fei announced holding up her hand "It 'READ' yes?"

Kuwabara nodded, "Point to Ku-san! Nine more and you pass!" He handed half the deck to Negi who smiled and caught on.

* * *

_Later..._

"I have to admit that was a pretty good session." Kuwabara stated, as he and Negi waved at the departing girls from the steps "They certainly got into it huh?"

"Asuna-san certainly did." Negi noted "She said she wanted to do some more practice tests at home."

"God help us." Kuwabara joked, ruffling the Welshman's hair before turning on his heel towards home "Ja-na, Bozu!"

"Good Night, Kuwabara-san!" Negi called out, hurrying to catch up with Asuna, the redhead's longer stride meaning little to magic-enhanced sprinting. Kuwabara chuckled as the noise died away, before sighing and looking up.

"How long you gonna stay hidden?" he asked, glaring at the shadows, "And don't try the whole silent routine, I know you're there."

There was a hoarse rattle that probably passed as a laugh, and then something stepped out of the shadows. It was twisted, dressed in leather with spikes protruding from the skull and jawbone. A forked tongue extended to taste the air as it stood hunched over. "You're pretty sssssharp for a human." It hissed, voice crackling with malice "Not many can sssssense me if I don't want to be ssssseen."

"You're not exactly hard to miss." Kuwabara muttered, eyeing the serpentine creature in disgust "Don't you know the rules about making trouble in human world?"

"You're awfully well informed." The creature grit out "No matter, I'll just devour you firsssst…then maybe a little ssssschool girl buffet."

It lunged forwards, mouth open wide enough to swallow a man whole, only to gape as a shudder ran through it's body, falling to pieces even before it hit the ground, where it promptly began to dissolve.

"It'll be a cold day in hell before E-class scum like you can take down Kuwabara-sama." The tantei muttered, his Reiken humming lightly as he held it out to the side, before recalling it and making his way back to the cabin, the last remnants of the serpentine demon evaporating into thin air.

* * *

_Looking on..._

"Most impressive." Evangeline noted, "Though hardly worth the need to spy on him, that piece of trash couldn't have posed a threat if it attacked en masse."

Tatsumiya Mana nodded, unshouldering her rifle as she regarded the departing form of the sensei in interest. "He doesn't seem to want to use too much power on grunts." She noted "But even just from seeing that I could tell he has phenomenal control over his energies."

"He composed a blade out of pure aura." Evangeline noted, biting her thumb in interest as she spoke "That takes quite a bit of talent let me tell you."

Mana nodded, before turning and moving on to patrol the east side before heading home, Eva and Chachamaru deciding to get home before the sensei to avoid suspicion. "It seems Kuwabara-sensei should prove more interesting than we'd first imagined." The vampire noted, earning a silent nod from her ministra.

* * *

_With Kuwabara..._

Kuwabara paused as he walked along the path, wondering why he had the sudden urge to carry a crucifix and holy water about his person. Shaking it off and handing it down to the surrounding woods he blinked as a familiar tuft of blue descended from above.

"Not a bad first day." Botan greeted, nodding as she touched down "I caught the last bit of that encounter, Mukuro's been informed so there won't be a search party looking for him."

"That's a relief." Kuwabara muttered, he might be the strongest fighter of the old tantei team that was still human, but even he didn't value his chances against one of the three kings or her soldiers. "So did you just pop by to tell me that or did you come to shoot the breeze?"

"Both actually," Botan admitted, reaching behind herself and pulling out, of all things, an attaché case. "Ta-da! A gift from spirit world!"

"Where in the heck did you stash that thing?" Kuwabara muttered, sweat dropping as she grinned at him.

"A woman has her ways." She teased handing the cast to him "It's a little more advanced than the one Yusuke had, but most of the equipment inside's the same. Normally we only supply the equipment as the Tantei's power develops but in your case we made an exception."

"Sweet." Kuwabara noted, opening the case and eyeing the trove of reikai gadgetry within.

"The watch is actually a combination of the standard Yokikei and communicator." Botan instructed, pointing to a rather snazzy looking timepiece "Koenma felt the compact look was a bit silly for a man to carry around." She pointed at a pair of glasses "These are an adaptation of the Reito lens, they wont affect your vision and come with a special feature that can let you see through disguises."

"I feel like I'm in a spy movie." Kuwabara admitted, slipping the specs on and blushing as he inadvertently looked through Botan's clothes "GACK! TOO SENSITIVE!"

"EEE!" Botan shrilled, slapping him self-consciously "AH! Sorry Kuwa-kun! I forgot that you can adjust the settings by tapping the frame!"

"Tell me that in advance in future!" the embarrassed tantei muttered, blinking as he spied something familiar in the case "Hey! My Tameshi no Ken!"

"Koenma figured you should keep it on you in future." Botan noted, "True you don't really need it but having a weapon on hand is smart, and it DID help out against Elder Toguro."

"Don't remind me." Kuwabara muttered, shivering at the recollection of the sadistic, and seemingly immortal freak that had nearly killed him twice. Shaking himself he packed everything up and nodded "Thanks again Botan, see you around."

"Pleasant dreams!" Botan chirped, rising into the air "I'll tell Yukina you said hi next time I see her!"

That night Kuwabara slept well, dreaming of rescuing his beloved Koorime from atop a burning tower whilst wearing a tuxedo as the 007-theme-tune played in the background. For some reason Botan was piloting the escape copter, and the enemy soldiers had resembled his students in fatigues.

He didn't want to know why Hiei was stroking a fox with a rose in its jaws either.

* * *

_Elsewhere..._

"There!" Asuna exclaimed, holding out four sheets of paper confidently "You want ten answers right? You got ten answers right! Grade 'em yourself."

Negi did so, sweat dropping at the sight before him in disbelief and quite a bit of fear.

"Ten on one test Asuna." Konoka teased, voicing the words Negi couldn't bring himself to utter "Not on four added up."

* * *

Cue nadesico theme music.

Batter up!

It's time for battle!

Asuna: where's that voice coming from?

Oh No! the dark queens of the court have come to steal your youthful pashion!

Chisame: My WHAT?

Can the wizard and warrior of love defend the maidens from this threat?

Next time on reikai sensei Kuwabara; passion on the battlefield!

Nodoka: Ano...it's only dodgeball...

R&R or you'll make Chibi-nodoka cry!


	7. Chapter 7

one man...one boy...and a whole lotta highschool girls...

...perverts...get your minds outta the gutter...

From the minds of Akamatsu-sensei and Togashi-sensei...

Kyugan productions proudly presents...

Reikai Sensei Kuwabara!

* * *

7th period.

The demon wailed as a focused blade of reiki beheaded it, killing it and dissolving the body so no remnants could be found. Kuwabara grunted and recalled the blade, checking his watch to make sure there were no more before heading towards the campus.

'Man, including the one last week there's been four demon sightings in all.' He frowned at the thought 'sure they never turn out to be more than E-rank trash but what the hell is that baka-chibi doing?'

* * *

_In demon world..._

A diminutive swordsman sneezed, blinking as the demon next to him handed him a large handkerchief. "I'll pass." He muttered, eyeing the massive nose on the beast and shuddering. He didn't want to know just how many times it had been used.

* * *

_Back to Mahora..._

Sighing the tantei made his way back to campus, blinking as the sound of laughter and cries echoed out from the lawns, where last he checked recess was in session. "HE'S SO CUTE!" several shrill cries announced, a familiar feeling of doom settling in the lanky professor's stomach as he made his way toward the source.

Sure enough several girls in St. Ursula High uniforms were currently flocking around a rather frantic looking Negi Springfield, rubbing against him and feeling him up in ways that would make harem manga artists weep for joy. Negi seemed to be on the verge of tears as well, though more likely out of exasperation than any form of joy.

Kuwabara was just about to step forward when a volleyball belted one of the older girls on the noggin, causing her to turn round and glare at the culprits, Asuna and Ayaka. "This fields reserved for 2A's use." 2A's class rep stated primly, a smile on her face as flowers bloomed behind her "You girls have your own hangout, so take off, don't make us get violent."

"Tough talk for a toddler!" one of the seniors yelled out, Ayaka rising to the bait only to be shoved aside by Asuna.

"There's no 'we' here." The redhead boasted, looking annoyed, either at the situation or Ayaka, "I'll kick your asses single-handed…footed…whatever!"

"I'm shaking in my stylish shoes." The apparent ringleader taunted coyly, "Kagurazaka Asuna and Yukihiro Ayaka…you talk tough but your junior high rep means squat to high school girls like us." She smirked "We run things around here. We GO where we want, Do what we want…to WHOMEVER we want, got it, Asuna?"

Asuna grimaced, only to gape as the brunette rubbed her cheek against Negi's teasingly, much to the boy's mortification.

"And right now we want to do things with cutie here." The ringleader taunted, smirking as Ayaka snapped and marched forwards, only to blink as a large hand settled over her shoulder, gripping it gently, but undeniably firmly.

"I think you've said more than enough." Kuwabara stated simply, the look in his eyes silencing Eiko's protests and chilling the other seniors with its coldness. He felt a little guilty about using his 'Game face', which had been known to scare off Yakuza members and demons that knew his rep, but it was either that or use force, and he couldn't bring himself to hurt women, even ones with attitude as rotten as this.

"Now I suggest you all go back to your allotted area until the end of break." He muttered, eyeing the seniors to make sure they paid attention "And if I find out you've been causing trouble for my students again, let me assure you that there WILL be repercussions."

The seniors nodded as one and left, a little too quickly to be seen as gracious, leaving Kuwabara to help up a flustered Negi and dust him off. "You okay Bozu?" he asked, checking his colleague over carefully "You really know how to pick 'em huh?"

"I can't help it," Negi moped, looking depressed "They just seem to flock to me…DAMN MY CHARISMA!"

Kuwabara chuckled and patted the distraught ten-year-old on the back "There, there, once you get past puberty you'll be thinking otherwise."

"I dare say he will." Takahata noted with a chuckled, making his way over to the duo with a smile "Expertly handled Kuwabara-sensei, and Negi-kun? Don't let it bother you too much, a little more experience and you'll have things down pat."

Negi smiled up at his colleagues and nodded, wiping his eyes and following them back to the teacher's lounge, where Shizuna sensei looked up, troubled. "Ah, Takahata-sensei, Kuwabara-sensei, Negi-kun." She greeted "It seems that Tendo-sensei had to be taken to hospital, seems she suffered a heart attack!"

"Tendo? She the short one with the temper?" Kuwabara asked, earning a wince and chuckle from Takahata.

"She's a little highly strung." The older sensei pardoned, lying through his teeth. Shizuna-sensei was the only one who could put up with Tendo-sensei, and that was only because the woman had the patience of Buddha himself, and was friends with Tendo's less violent eldest sister. "I've suggested she be transferred to a facility that suits her better."

"Like the state penitentiary." Seruhiko-sensei opined, earning a snort from Ayase-sensei and a frown from Nita, though the 'Oni' secretly agreed with the bishounen's sentiments.

"Anyway," Shizuna continued "Without her we need someone to sub for 2A's gym class until a replacement can be found."

"I'll do it." Negi volunteered, thinking a nice bit of outdoor sports was just what the doctor ordered "I'm not too busy at the moment."

"Then could you wait for them on the roof court?" Shizuna asked, smiling encouragingly at the boy "It's volleyball, try not to get hit."

Kuwabara blinked as his watch started to chime, cursing as he made an excuse and left the staff room to exterminate the threat, Negi leaving for the roof courts.

* * *

_With 2A..._

"This schools getting WAY overcrowded," Yuna opined, as 2A made their way towards the roof "That's the big problem."

"Recreation space, Workspace, Study space," Ako noted with a sigh "Everything's in short supply."

"Totally." Makie agreed, only to pull up short as Asuna stopped in the doorway, gaping in shock at the figures on the court.

"Hello ladies." Eiko greeted coyly, a volleyball held in her hand "Fancy meeting you here."

"High School class 2D!" Asuna barked, Ayaka at her side as she they glared at the seniors "What are you doing here?"

"We have a free period now," Eiko noted with a smile, tossing the ball in the air "So we're playing volleyball."

"We have Gym Class now!" Yuna exclaimed, looking both annoyed and nervous at the sight of the older girls.

"It seems we're double booked then." Eiko teased, smirking coyly at them again and setting off Asuna's fuse, only for the redhead to blink and gape at a struggling figure held captive by a pair of giggling seniors.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THEIR SIDE NEGI!" Asuna bellowed, righteous fury in every syllable.

"I was supposed to sub for your gym teacher when these amazons jumped me!" the frantic Welshman wailed, his arms flailing in protest as the girls nuzzled his cheeks "Help me! They keep saying weird, improper things!"

"First come first served ladies." Eiko cut in, a delicate smirk on her face "We got here first, so we're going to serve ourselves up a little piece of cutie-sensei here."

"SHE'S HISTORY!" Ayaka shrieked, several classmates having to hold her back as she struggled to get at Eiko. Nobody seemed to notice the translucent set of horns the senior seemed to be sporting.

* * *

_Elsewhere..._

"Dammit, where is it?" Kuwabara muttered, looking around in disgust "I thought this thing was supposed ta track down any demon within range?"

"It does." A helpful voice pointed out, Kuwabara looking up to espy Botan sitting on a tree branch, wearing a school track suit "Yoo-hoo!"

"You cosplayin' or somethin'?" Kuwabara asked dumbly, watching as the bluenette leapt down with the grace of a cat to land before him.

"Standard procedure for a detective's assistant." Botan reminded him "I used to wear your schools school uniform when I visited there didn't I?"

"Oh yeah." Kuwabara noted, grinning at the memory of how Yusuke would always try to guess her sizes "Suited ya too."

"Flatterer." Botan teased, looking a little chuffed as she walked up to him "Anyways, its an old friend of ours, or rather Yusuke's." she held up a picture that showed a scrawny little troll in a prison outfit "Jiaki, a demon that burrows into people and controls them."

"Ugly little thing." Kuwabara muttered "But since I don't recognize him he's gotta be E-class right?"

"Bingo! Lowest of the low, but once he takes root he's very hard to find." Botan agreed "He may have infiltrated the school and is causing trouble as we speak."

* * *

_Dodgeball match..._

"Eiko's acting a bit weird." One of the other seniors noted, wincing as the leader of the Black lilies cackled as she sent another member of 2A out with not-so-minor bruising.

"Yeah," the other agreed "I mean I'm all for putting the brats in their place but this is going too far."

"You see what happens when you try to play grown up?" Eiko taunted, smirking superiorly as she tossed the ball in her hand "Stick to the sand box brats, leave Negi-sensei to us."

"Yeah right you old hag!" Asuna snapped, raring to go as always "We haven't lost yet! Try not to bust a hip!"

Eiko growled and leapt up, holding the ball into the sun before slamming it down on Asuna's side, HARD. Just as the redhead was getting up however, a second shot caught her on the side of the head.

"FOUL!" Negi called out, holding out a hand as he ran to his student "What are you thinking? Is this anyway for young ladies to behave?"

"But sensei," Eiko moaned, pouting coyly "She called me an old hag! What was I supposed to do?"

"You didn't have to hit her head!" Negi insisted, feeling nervous at the hungry look in the older woman's eye. He wasn't certain but he was fairly sure they seemed glossed over, as if she was in some sort of trance. Even her teammates had looked shocked when she'd struck Asuna. "I'm calling this off! Everyone to the Deans office immediately!"

"But sensei-!" Eiko moaned, tilting her head "We were only having a little fun, can't you let it go?"

"No, you injured one of my students and have been bullying the others for quite some time." Negi stated, swallowing to retain his nerve "I've tried dealing with it like a gentlemen, now I see I should have handled it like a teacher."

Jiaki glowered, Eiko's face twitching spasmodically as Negi turned his back on them, 'This is bad.' the parasite muttered, 'if that old fart senses me I'm road kill…gotta make a distraction and hit the silk.'

Grinning, the demon espied the ball as it rolled near Eiko's foot, picking it up and prepping for a launch.

"Are you alright, Asuna-san?" Negi asked, supporting the dizzy redhead with his shoulder, only to blink as Nodoka cried out a warning. He turned slightly to gape at the volleyball that was inches from his head, eyes shutting as he braced for the impact…that never came. Blinking he opened his eyes to gape at the hand that had appeared in front of his face, gripping the volleyball even as steam came off it from the velocity.

"Yare-yare," Kuwabara muttered, not taking his eyes off the stunned Eiko "Problems in paradise bozu?"

"Kuwabara-san!" Negi greeted, staring up at his taller colleague in amazement "When did you get here?"

"Few seconds ago." Kuwabara replied, eyes locked onto Eiko's face, or more accurately the horns set above it "Seems you girls don't take well to discipline."

"Who asked you old man?" Eiko shot back, unnerved at the intensity of the instructor's glare

"Yeah!" another girl catcalled "Why don't you go take up shuffleboard before you bust a hip you Yakuza reject!"

"Botched face baboon!"

"Lanky macaque!"

BANG!

Everyone jumped, several girls gaping in shock at the remains of the ball in Kuwabara's hands. The Professor had popped it like an overripe grape.

* * *

With Evangeline...

'Hoh?' Evangeline noted, quirking an eyebrow at the sight 'Seems Kuwabara-sensei has a bit of a temper problem when it comes to his looks.' She shivered at the suppressed power coming off the man, noting the concerned look on the faces of Setsuna, Mana and Chao.

They could all tell that the man was fighting the urge to lash out, and from the looks of things if he did, bruises would be the LEAST of the seniors' worries.

* * *

Kuwabra's POV...

Kuwabara exhaled, getting his temper under control before locking gazes with Eiko. "Ako-san." he called out, startling the blue-haired girl "Please see to Asuna-san's injury." As the girl hurried to do so he continued "Negi, what say we teach these girls a lesson?"

Negi blinked, nodding nervously as he pulled up beside Kuwabara who was removing his coat and tie as he spoke.

"Rules are simple." the elder Sensei called out, handing the items to Chachamaru who took them to the sidelines "Me and Negi versus all of you, you win and we do whatever you want." His eyes narrowed, "You lose, and you do whatever we tell you to do."

A burst of whispers broke out on both sides, 2A looking at their senseis in concern whilst 2D sized them up like prize cattle.

"Hm, a cutie and a stud," Eiko noted, smirking as she regained her confidence, "Fine, but if we win Negi comes with us…and you become our servant."

"Deal." Kuwabara replied, eliciting a chorus of gasps as Negi looked up at him in concern.

"Kuwabara-san please." The ten year old insisted "This is my problem, don't put yourself at risk for my mistakes!"

"This isn't your problem bozu." Kuwabara replied, smiling grimly "These little brats are just well overdue for a lesson in manners." He smirked at the boy "And what d'ya know, that's just what we specialize in."

Negi blinked, before setting his face and nodding confidently, turning to face the black lilies as they lined up.

* * *

_On the sidelines..._

"Do you think they stand a chance?" Nodoka asked nervously, looking to Yue for confirmation.

"Doubt it," Yue deadpanned "Those guys are good, but all Negi-sensei's done so far is dodge, and Kuwabara-sensei doesn't strike me as the fast type."

"You'd be surprised." A bubbly voice pointed out, "Kuwa-kun's only been second to one other person when it came to sports." They looked up to espy a blue haired girl in a tracksuit smiling down at them from the fence "Hi!"

"Ano…who are you?" Nodoka asked, flushing nervously at the girl, why did she look so familiar?"

"I'm Botan." The bluenette replied, swinging down to land next to them with an energetic smile "I'm, er, a transfer student." She waved a way the questioning glances, "Anyway, Kuwa-kun's no slouch when it comes to sport."

"You know Kuwabara-sensei?" Yue asked, causing the ferry girl to flinch "And you seem pretty familiar too."

"You're the girl from the A.V Room!" Asakura pointed out, a camera appearing in Botan's face "What's the scoop? Are you two lovers? What's he like? Have you done IT yet?"

"EEEEEEP!"

* * *

_Back to the match..._

"Take this!" Eiko yelled hurling the ball at the duo, only for them to leap aside at the last minute, "Go Triangle attack!"

The other two nodded, bouncing the ball off their hands whilst trying to nail either Kuwabara or Negi. The young mage used his abilities to enhance his reflexes whilst Kuwabara seemed to be sidestepping the ball as if he knew where it was going to come next.

On the sidelines, the members of 2A watched in amazement as their senseis ducked and weaved, several of the Black lilies being caught in the crossfire and being sent out, until only the leading three were left.

"How're they doing that?" Asuna wondered, gaping at the sight in awe "Are they just really lucky?"

"Negative." Chachamaru countered "Kuwabara-sensei is deliberately placing himself in front of members of the opposing team in such a way they are caught off guard, especially when he blocks their vision of the ball, preventing time to react." She nodded, "Meanwhile, Negi-sensei is a smaller, faster target, and thus much harder to hit. By utilizing this technique they can take out the most opponents whilst expending the least amount of energy."

"You're kidding right?" Asuna deadpanned; sweat dropping at the sight of the haggard looking opponents. True enough those members that remained were breathing hard and doused with sweat. Negi was only breathing lightly whilst Kuwabara hadn't even worked up a sweat, which was impressive considering he was wearing a black shirt in the noon sun.

In the end there were only the three primary members of the Black lilies remaining, the other two on their knees gasping for breath whilst 'Eiko' glowered at them angrily. "What's wrong?" Kuwabara called out, cleaning his ear with his pinkie, "That all you got? Man, I thought you girls were champs or somethin'…"

"Don't…count us…out!" 'Eiko' panted, gripping the ball tightly as she smirked, prepping for a launch. 'This bastard thinks he can outsmart me can he?' the possessed human snorted 'Lets see how he dodges a blow from the sun!'

"Take this!" the possessed senior yelled, hurling the sphere into the air and leaping up after it "Death Blow: Sun Atta-!"

A shadowy form loomed over her, eyes widening as she realized that she was staring at Kuwabara's chest, the man having leapt up after her, and actually passing herin mid-air.

* * *

Sidelines again...

"NO WAY!" Ako gasped, eyes widening at the sight of the lanky professor hanging in mid-air "Kuwabara-sensei's like 6ft 5! And he's gotta weigh more! But he just jumped his own height in the air!"

"Like I said." Botan pointed out with a catlike look on her face "You really shouldn't doubt Kuwa-kun."

* * *

Ako's POV...

'Im...impossible!' Eiko gaped, feeling as if she were standing before a giant 'He…surpassed my jump?'

Jiaki flinched, his control over the girl's body slipping as her brain tried to comprehend what she was seeing. As he fought for control he felt Eiko's awe as she looked up at the man, who was gazing down at her with a solemn expression.

"Sorry 'bout this..." Kuwabara offered, looking into her eyes with an apologetic expression "You might wanna brace yourself."

That was all the warning the possessed human received before what felt like a missile rocketed past her, ramming into the ground as she landed on her buttocks, stunned.

Everyone gaped in shock at the ball that had been embedded in the ground of the court just between Eiko's legs. It was still rotating, and steam was coming off it made it clear that it had been going QUITE fast when it hit.

"You can call that that one:" Kuwabara spoke up, standing over the girl with one hand in his pocket as he pointed at her with the other "Kuwabara-style: Ten-Dama."

Eiko gaped in shock, before passing out, the last thing she remembered being Kuwabara's face gazing down at her.

'Kuwabara…sensei…'

* * *

_As the dust settles..._

Kuwabara watched as the Black lilies swept towards their fallen captain, face grim as he felt Jiaki struggle in his grip. He'd grabbed the little bastard as he tried to jump ship in mid-air, stuffing him into his pocket whilst channeling enough reiki into his fist to make it a VERY uncomfortable experience.

"Right, I do believe that's our win," he spoke out, the lilies looking up at him in shock, and a little fear "So as punishment, I want you girls to apologize to 2A and promise never to act like this again, if you want to practice I suggest you book time at your own court."

The lilies, shocked at getting off so easy, nodded and did as they were told, skulking off with their heads bowed demurely. No sooner had they done this did Kuwabara sigh and smile at Negi tiredly "Rough day huh?"

"Very," Negi agreed, the two sharing a brief chuckle before being beset by the denizens of 2A, who were singing praises of their victory.

* * *

_The next morning..._

Kuwabara entered the staff room, ready to start another day of fun and excitement, only to blink as Negi's yell echoed around the room.

"NO I DON'T WANNA BE DODGEBALL MASCOT!" the Welshman insisted, looking terrified at the very idea. The Black lilies were about to insist when Eiko caught sight of the lanky Professor.

"Something wrong here Bozu?" Kuwabara asked, only to blink as several starry eyed schoolgirls rushed towards him, hands clasped to their bosoms.

"Kuwabara-sensei!" Eiko called out, a flush on her face that unnerved the man "Your performance yesterday was magnificent! Please consent to be our new coach?"

"Please teach us sensei!" the rest of the lilies insisted, clamoring forwards all starry eyed and eager to please. "Negi-sensei too! You'd look so cute in the outfit!"

Takamichi laughed as the duo ran screaming down the halls, the Black lilies in hot pursuit. "Looks like they're working out rather well." Shizuna noted with a smile, to which Takamichi merely chuckled.

"Seems that way indeed."

* * *

Cue the Nadesico music.

The battle is won!

Ako: Um...what battle?

But what's this? A frightful spook haunts the hallowed halls of the establishment!

Narutakis: EEEH?

Worry not fair maidens, the principle knows just who to call!

Makie: Ghostbusters?

Next time on Rekai Sensei Kuwabara; life is fleeting!

Sayo: Ah! Were'd that voice come from?

No reviews make Chibi-nodoka cry...make her cry at thine own peril.


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you all for the wonderfull reviews.

Some of you asked why Kuwabara didn't notice Sayo-chan earlier. Seriously, with all the insanity that follows 2A do you really think the poor man has time to think straight?

Beside's by this point his awarenss is so keen Ghosts are as visible as normal people to him, so if he DID see her, he wouldn't freak out about it.

That said, on with the show.

* * *

8th period.

"I hate exam week." Kuwabara sighed, slumping into his seat in the staff room and putting a hand to his face "Way too many flashbacks of Iwamoto and Akashi."

"It is rather depressing." Takahata agreed, settling into his own chair with a little more decorum "But then again, nobody said teaching was easy."

"And those who do never had to teach the girls of 2A." Seruhiko pointed out with a smile, earning a chuckle from Takahata and a moan from Kuwabara. At that moment the Tantei's watch sounded, eliciting yet another moan as he got to his feet.

"That watch of yours always seems to be going off Kuwabara-sensei." Nita-sensei pointed out in annoyance from behind a stack of papers "Maybe you should get it looked at…or better yet replace it."

"Sorry, but it's a gift from my old employer" Kuwabara lied "And, well, there's sentimental value, y'know?"

Nita snorted but didn't say anything else, allowing the tantei to leave, brushing past Shizuna-sensei as she entered. "Ah, Kuwabara-sensei!" she greeted with a smile "Off again?"

"'fraid so." Kuwabara replied, waving to her over her shoulder "If there are any papers just leave 'em on my desk, I'll sort them later."

"Kuwabara-sensei's so energetic," the well-endowed woman opined, smiling warmly at the retreating form "wouldn't you say?"

"A bit TOO energetic." Nita muttered, "Though I suppose he does submit his paperwork on time."

"Which means he's Nita's favorite." Seruhiko teased, dodging a paperweight as the rest of the staff laughed at the joke.

"Still," Shizuna continued, a look of concern on her face "I wonder what he could be up to, dashing off all the time."

"Don't you worry too much about it." Takahata assured her with a knowing smile as he looked out the window "Kuwabara only has the best interests of this school at heart."

* * *

_With Kuwabara..._

"What in the heck is this thing?" Kuwabara muttered, eyeing what appeared to be a moving shadow as it dissolved slowly. He'd just sliced through it with his reiken after the thing leapt out at him, but even in death it didn't put up much of a fight.

"Just a low class apparition," Botan supplied diligently from her position on her oar "too weak to even make a corporeal form. I guess it snuck through the gateway to reikai."

"So it's not exactly a demon is it?" Kuwabara muttered, watching as the thing vanished silently "Guess this is part of being a reikai tantei too."

"On the subject," Botan pointed out "a matter came to my attention the other day, I think there may be a fixated spirit in the school."

"A what?" Kuwabara asked, looking at the ferry girl in confusion "Fixated? As in stuck or something?"

"Sort of," Botan allotted "basically it's a ghost that refuses to cross over, haunting an area they have great emotional attachment to." She held up a finger "I haven't been able to track her because the range seems to extend a short distance off school grounds, about as far as the local convenience store and an all night restaurant."

"She huh?" Kuwabara noted, feeling sorry for the spirit "Any other info? A name? A picture?"

"Both and more," Botan chirped, pulling out a clipboard from inside her tracksuit with a flourish.

"Where in th' hell were you storing that?" Kuwabara asked, sweat dropping as Botan giggled at the look on his face.

"A woman has her secrets!" the ferry girl replied, handing over the clipboard and reciting the data "Aizaka Sayo, 1940-1953, details aren't clear but we suspect foul play in her death."

'Why does that name sound familiar?" Kuwabara wondered, only to gape at the face gazing back at him in the picture. True the hair was black instead of pale white, the uniform was a darker tint than normal and her skin was lively, but there was no mistaking the face that sat to the right of his recently encountered Nemesis, the Mahora Paparazzi, Asakura Kazumi.

"Kuwa-kun?" Botan called out, looking up at her one-time pursuer in concern "You okay? You just went very quiet."

"This girl," Kuwabara stated, not taking his eyes off the photo in his hand "I know where to find her."

* * *

_Class 2A..._

A petite sneeze sounded in the seemingly empty classroom of 2A, which would have scared the life of anyone else who'd been in there. As it were, the sole occupant of the room didn't need to worry about that.

Aizaka Sayo sighed, sniffing as she sat in her chair, eyes toward the desk as she listened to the sounds of revelry outside. It wasn't that she was unsociable, far from it, she would venture outside and watch everyone play and laugh and try to join in. It was just hard to do so and remain cheerful when nobody knew you were there.

But then there wasn't much the ghost of a long dead schoolgirl could do about that.

Recently, things had become a bit more lively than normal, with the arrival of two new teachers for 2A. Negi-sensei with his adorable charm and innocent looks and the tall, rough looking, yet friendly Kuwabara-sensei, who seemed to exhibit a feeling of ease for the spectral girl.

She didn't put much stock by it, after all, she'd seen many a new professor come and go since dying. Some had even been driven off by her attempts to communicate; one was apparently in a home. Nonetheless she still held out to the faint hope that, someday, she'd be noticed by someone.

The sound of the classroom door opening caught her attention, blinking at the sight of a grim faced Kuwabara-sensei and a blue haired woman she recognized from Asakura's photos. 'I wonder what they're doing here?' she thought, a pink tint rising to her cheeks as she recalled what Asakura had been implying 'Omigosh! What if they're here to make out? Oh No I have to get out of here-!'

"Sayo-chan." Kuwabara called out, startling the ghost out of her thoughts as she gazed at him in shock "You are Aizaka Sayo-chan, right?"

Hope sprung up in Sayo's eyes, silvery tears forming in them as she stared at the professor. "You…you can see me?" she called out, desperation in her voice as she looked him in the eyes "You can…really see me?"

The lanky professor nodded, and the dam broke. Sayo leapt forward with a wail, tears falling and disappearing on the floor as she flew at the sensei, realizing too late that she'd just phase through him. So it came as quite a surprise when she came in contact with his chest, strong arms holding her steady as she felt his heartbeat through the fabric.

'I can touch him…' she realized, face flushing and eyes closing at the realization that she could feel the warmth in his arms 'I can touch him!'

Tears of joy streamed down her cheeks and onto the black shirt of the professor as she buried her silvery head in it.

* * *

_As Sayo-chan cries..._

Kuwabara gazed down at the ghost in awe, and no end of sorrow. How long had she been here like this? How many years had she spent, walking the corridors alone with no one to talk to? To laugh with? To cry with?

Kuwabara couldn't imagine a worse fate than that, and so he let the spirit of the girl cry against him, suppressing the shudders from her touch as he felt her cling to the fabric of his shirt, made solid by the strength of his reikan and sheer amount of reiki.

Botan stood off to the side, hands over her lips as she gazed at the girl sadly. She couldn't begin to imagine the torment she'd gone through, and worst of all she probably didn't even know how she died in the first place; it happened with people who stayed too long, you forgot things. Botan herself couldn't remember her past life in human world anymore, nobody who stayed dead for long could. Those spirits fortunate enough to pass on chose to do so before the memory of their past lives faded.

After a moment the girl's sniffles died down, though she still clung to Kuwabara desperately. Reaching out, the Tantei patted her softly on the head, marveling at how soft and cold her hair was, like chilled silk. "Feel better?" he asked, receiving a nervous nod from the ghost as she backed away slightly, head lowered and flushing a light pink.

"H-hai," Sayo stammered, sniffing slightly as she bowed "S-sorry sensei, I got your shirt all wet."

"Not a problem." Kuwabara assured her, ruffling her hair and smiling at her reassuringly. He took in her features, wondering why he'd never pieced it together earlier that she wasn't of this world, blaming it in part on the madness that seemed to follow his class.

"It's just…" Sayo sniffed "I haven't really spoken to anyone in so long and no-one seems to notice me unless I scare them and then everything seems to go wrong and-!"

Kuwabara put a hand on her head, calming her down and cutting off the rambling with a knowing look. "No need to explain yourself Sayo, it isn't your fault you're here, and normal people generally can't see ghosts or spirits."

"YOU can, sensei." Sayo pointed out nervously "And I can touch you too." She flushed at this, earning a smile from Botan.

"Well, I've always had a sixth sense of sorts since I was a brat myself." Kuwabara boasted, "Though I couldn't SEE spirits until my teens, and only after a friend of mine came back from the dead."

Sayo's eyes widened at this "B-back?" she repeated, looking fair stunned "You mean…there's a way to come back?"

"Sorry." Botan cut in, looking apologetic at bursting the girl's hopes "But that was a special case, he wasn't supposed to die then. Even if it was the case here your body would have been cremated long before now."

"I…I see." Sayo noted, slumping slightly at the news. She blinked s Kuwabara squeezed her shoulder looking at her in concern.

"Sayo-Chan." The Tantei began "You do know you were supposed to cross over, right?"

Sayo shivered, a thrill of fear shooting up her long dead spine "I…I know I'm not supposed to be here anymore," she stammered "B-but I'm t-too scared to cross over! What if I stop being me? What if something bad happens? What if-?"

Kuwabara hushed her with a finger to the lips "No ones gonna force you to move on." He assured the spectral girl "But its dangerous for spirits to linger in one place too long, sometimes they become corrupted and start causing trouble, like you see in horror films."

"I hated the grudge." Botan muttered with a shiver, "True most of the data was wrong but the general feeling was bang on."

"B-But..." Sayo whispered, trembling as she looked at the floor "I…I've nowhere else to go…"

* * *

_Scene Change..._

The trio moved their discussion out of the classroom and out by the convenience store Sayo usually frequented, Kuwabara purchasing some canned coffee from a vending machine whilst Sayo leaned against the wall.

"I usually hang out around here after hours." The ghost noted with a small smile "There's something comforting about a convenience store at night."

"I hear that." Kuwabara agreed "When I was a brat I always used to go running around at night, and my sis told me if I ever got lost to head for the store nearby." He sighed, recalling how Shizuru would bop him on the noggin before leading him home "Good times."

Sayo giggled at the look on his face and Botan chuckled, imagining the normally aloof Shizuru dragging Chibi Kuwabara down the street by his ear. They sat and watched the sun set, for all the world a group of old friends getting together after work, save one could only be seen by certain folk.

"So what now?" Sayo asked looking at the floor as she spoke "Are you…going to take me away?"

Kuwabara frowned at her, shaking his head as he crushed the can against it, tossing the remains in the bin "Wouldn't know where to start, Reikai protocol demands that spirits with attachments need to be satisfied." He looked at the girl "And not just by talking to you, we'd need to find out how you died in the first place."

"Sadly, that information didn't pass along with you because you never passed on." Botan noted sadly "and since you stayed for so long the memory of how you passed has faded."

"So I'm stuck." Sayo noted, looking all the more depressed. Botan had assured her that she would personally escort her back if it came down to it, a prospect made all the more pleasing by the ferry girl's bubbly nature.

"Looks like it." Kuwabara muttered "And if we can't find a way to release you from the campus you could become corrupted."

Sayo winced "I…I don't want to hurt anyone." She insisted, holding onto her skirt desperately as little ghost flames and shadows formed around her. Kuwabara sweat dropped at the sight, wondering if she even knew how terrifying she'd look to ones who didn't know her.

"Isn't there a way to get her off campus without crossing over?" the Tantei asked Botan, who frowned, holding her chin in thought for a moment, before blinking.

"Of course! A Medium!" at their confused looks she elaborated, "If you could find a medium for Sayo-Chan to inhabit she could leave the campus provided you take it with you!"

"So instead of haunting the school she'd be haunting me?" Kuwabara asked, not really liking that prospect too much, only for Botan's shake to reassure him.

"Iie, she'd basically live inside the medium, preferably something you could carry with you, like a talisman or mortuary tablet."

Kuwabara and Sayo blinked, imagining the looks on everyone's face if Kuwabara started lugging a tombstone around. Botan caught the look and chuckled "Don't worry Kuwa-kun! " She assured him "Just leave everything to me!"

* * *

_Tatsumiya Shrine..._

"A mortuary tablet?" Mana repeated, looking up at the guests at the shrine in interest "Certainly we have some, but may I ask why? Did someone pass away?"

"Sort of..." Botan offered, whilst Kuwabara tried to comprehend the dark skinned beauty wearing a shrine maiden outfit. It suited her in a way, but at the same time made her foreign heritage stand out, like a rare jewel in a humble casing.

Unaware of the scrutiny, the dark-skinned markswoman nodded and moved to a cabinet off to the side, removing a tablet and handing it over to the bluenette. "Will you be needing my services as a priestess?" she asked "It won't come at any extra cost."

"That's all right." Botan assured her "This is really all we needed, thank you for your time!"

"See you in class tomorrow, Tatusmiya-san." Kuwabara added with a smile, the dark-skinned beauty nodding as he bowed, returning the bow with one of her own.

'That woman... Isn't human' she noted, eyeing the retreating form of Botan 'And I'm fairly certain I sensed a third presence…a spirit? Are they attempting an exorcism?'

Mana couldn't help but feel intrigued by her new Senseis; on the one hand there was Negi, son of the legendary hero the Thousand Master, and a prodigal mage in the making at the tender age of ten. On the other there was the older, but apparently more powerful, Kuwabara Kazuma.

Mana wasn't one to actually pay attention to what demons said when she was hunting them but she'd noticed that quite a few had been skirting the area since he'd come here, and that those who DID manage to get through the barrier were cut down well before they became a threat by the man.

That, and word on the mercenary grapevine made it quite clear that Kuwabara-sensei had made a rather impressive name for himself as a thorn in the sides of quite a few criminal organizations, and he apparently had some sort of connection with the now disbanded Black Book Club.

All in all a VERY interesting duo, well worth keeping an eye on.

* * *

_Later..._

"Okay," Kuwabara muttered, taking a deep breath, tablet in one hand as he eyed the chalk line Botan had drawn "You ready, Sayo-chan?"

"H-hai!" the ghostly voice echoed, coming from the tablet in the man's hand. Kuwabara took a breath, lifted his foot, and promptly stepped over the line.

All was quiet, no one making a sound as they counted down the seconds, Kuwabara breaking the silence by lifting up the tablet and giving it a shake. "AH!" Sayo cried out, sounding startled and frantic "Sensei stop! You're making me dizzy!"

"It worked!" Kuwabara exclaimed, the ghost appearing in a plume of mist, eyes dizzy swirls as the Tantei spun the tablet, and by proxy her, around "We did it Sayo-chan! You left the grounds!"

Sayo blinked, before smiling as she left the tablet, setting down on the ground as she looked around in wonder. They were at the very limits of her range, the bridge just off campus that led to the city. She had never ventured this far because it always made her sick. Now she stood, or hovered rather, unhindered, and the air felt as light as ever.

"Bingo!" Botan cheered, jumping for joy as she pumped her fist "So long as Kuwa-kun keeps the tablet with him, Sayo-chan can go where she pleases, at least until we find out what happened."

"Uh, little problem there Botan." Kuwabara muttered, holding up the block tablet "I can't just carry this thing in my pocket y'know."

"Not a problem!" Botan chirped, reaching inside her tracksuit again and pulling out what looked like several leather straps and buckles "Here, one tablet holster!"

"Ano…sensei?" Sayo wondered; sweat dropping alongside the Tantei "Where was she hiding that?"

"I don't think I wanna know." Kuwabara admitted a little fearfully, as he allowed Botan to fasten the holster around his shoulder, like in the old detective movies. He placed the tablet inside carefully, blinking at how snug it fit "You've done this before?"

"Sort of," Botan admitted, fastening the straps "let's just say that Reikai does some rather interesting side jobs."

* * *

_On the other side of the country..._

A lazy slacker with headphones sneezed, dropping his 'beloved' Fiancée's bags and being made to run a triathlon wearing weights, as his Samurai spirit wept pitifully for him.

* * *

_Eva's Cottage..._

Evangeline sighed as she sank into the sofa, feeling drained after the tedious day she'd been forced to sit through. She'd done the exams so many times she'd gotten sick of actually trying to pass. It really didn't seem to matter, since she'd 'vanish' as soon as the rest of her year graduated, physically and in regards to memory if the dean did his stuff right.

She wondered idly where young Springfield had disappeared to, he and the Bakas had been apparently dropped off her mental radar sometime in the evening, taking the dean's granddaughter and the library exploration club with them.

'Could they be looking for the Melusedek?' she wondered idly, recalling that the tome WAS rumored to be hidden deep beneath the island, before scoffing 'Of course not, they probably got lost trying to find some lecture notes in that maze of a library.'

"Master." Chachamaru stated softly, "Kuwabara-sensei is late, shall I leave something out for him?"

Evangeline was about to tell the robot to let the man starve when the devil himself entered the cottage, all orange pony tailed 6ft 5 of him. "Tadaima." Kuwabara greeted yawning as he undid his tie, "You girls aren't asleep yet?"

"We're night owls." Evangeline replied, a wry smirk forming on her petite face at her own joke.

"Welcome back, Kuwabara Sensei." Chachamaru greeted, bowing slightly "Will you be wanting any dinner?"

"Sure, just let me put my stuff away first." Kuwabara replied with a grateful smile, heading up the stairs to the guestroom.

Evangeline quirked an eyebrow, wondering why the hell she felt s if there was someone else in the room, putting it down to the sensei's as yet unfamiliar presence in her home as Chachamaru reheated the food.

* * *

Later...

"Man I'm beat..." Kuwabara yawned, dropping onto his bead that night after placing Sayo's tablet on the desk "better get some rest while I can."

He climbed into bed, and was set to go to sleep when a presence at the edge of the bed caused him to turn, noting the nervous features of Sayo. "A-Ano…" the ghost stammered "S-sensei…c-could I…s-sleep with you?" She blushed pink at the look on the man's face "I-its just…I don't know this place and I was always scared of being alone and-!"

She trailed off with a blink as a hand pulled her onto the bed, blinking as the blanket was pulled over her. "I got it." Kuwabara offered, rolling over to give the girl more room, "I used to crawl in with my sis when I was little too, no big deal." He smiled at her "Good-night, Sayo-chan."

Sayo blushed, before smiling, eyes closing as she snuggled under the covers, the sound of her sensei-her FRIEND'S heartbeat, providing a soothing lullaby that carried the spirit to sleep.

* * *

_The Next Morning..._

"Ohayo, Kuwabara-sensei!" Seruhiko greeted, blinking at his younger, yet taller, colleague "You okay? You look like hell."

'You try sleeping next to a ghost when your spiritual awareness is cranked to eleven.' Kuwabara thought grimly, not faulting Sayo for seeking comfort after so long but rather himself for forgetting his experiences with spirits prior to becoming Yusuke's partner. Waking up to find your body paralyzed because of some vindictive spirit was NOT a positive experience for a growing boy.

"Have you seen Negi-kun around?" the bishounen sensei asked "He was late to take attendance, Ayaka-kun brought it in, the Bakas and the dean's granddaughter are missing too." He scratched his head "It's really got us worried, do you think you could substitute for Negi-kun today?"

"Don't see why not." Kuwabara reasoned, wondering where his little buddy had gotten off to with six students, several lurid fantasies blurring across his mind as he made his way to 2A. "Ohayo," he greeted, only to blink as he was beset by a surge of frantic schoolgirls "What in th' hey?"

"Kuwabara-sensei! We got trouble!" Sakurako wailed, "It's the worst! Even Worser! It's the end!"

"Whoa-whoa! Calm down!" the former delinquent called out, pushing the throng of hysterical schoolgirls back so he could get some breathing space. Once calmed, he turned to Ayaka, who was wrining her hands fretfully "Yukihiro-san, what's going on?"

* * *

Cue Nadesico theme music!

What's this? Negi-kun and the Baka Rangers are missing?

Ayaka: NEGI-SENSEI!

Fear not brave hearts! Kuwabara-sensei will come to your aid!

Kuwabara: What the hell is THAT?

Ganbare Kuwabara! your students and colleague need you!

Asuna: What we need is a freaking tank!

Next time on Reikai sensei Kuwabara: The weight of Knowledge!

Yue: Who writes these things?

R&R or Chibi Nodoka will hate you.


	9. Chapter 9

I'm trying to follow the manga plotline as closely as possible but there may be some exceptions. In particular, expect a jump during the Kyoto arc.

That said, lets get this party started.

* * *

9th period.

"Are you serious?" Kuwabara asked, looking at the frantic denizens of 2A carefully, having had experience with their rumor-mongering "Are you sure this isn't another stupid rumor?"

"It isn't!" Sakurako insisted "Yuna and I saw the letter with our own eyes! If Negi-kun doesn't pull our class out of last place in the exams he gets fired!"

Yuna nodded for emphasis, the clamor rising up again as 2A began to lament the potential loss of their beloved child-sensei. You could almost SEE the desperation, with a few notable exceptions, not one student scored higher than the 300th percentile ranking out of the 737 second-year students currently enrolled. Factor in 2A's habit of going ballistic faster than a jar of Nitroglycerine in a blender and you got a pretty nasty picture.

In short, pulling the class out of last place at this stage of the game wouldn't take a miracle; it would take an act of God himself.

Kuwabara was pretty damn certain he was mortal, hell he'd nearly died enough times to be certain of the fact there wasn't anything other than red human blood in his veins, but he'd be damned if he let this go without a fight.

"Alright calm down!" he barked out, startling the girls out of their mass hysteria "Yukihiro-san, I want you to organize study groups within the class, the top ranked students are to tutor those who need it." He turned on his heel "I'm going to have a word with the headmaster."

Chao Lingshen quirked an eyebrow, impressed by the way her enigmatic new sensei had taken control, and so effectively too. In a way he was better suited to teaching than Negi, having actually had prior training, but in others he and the boy were so much alike they could have been brothers, and she suspected that the magi in training did consider the older sensei as a positive male role model.

However, that still didn't mean she knew anything about him, or his character. He seemed a decent sort, a little slow and easily flustered by the antics of her classmates. He was also powerful, and she didn't mean that flatteringly, she hadn't felt power like that since Setsuna's shishou had come for a visit last year.

'And unless I miss my guess,' the Chinese genius noted with a calculating expression on her face 'He's holding back a LOT of that power.'

"Chao-san!" Ayaka's voice finally broke through the genius' concentration "I asked if you could tutor the first group on Mathematics and Science!"

"Sure Iincho," she offered, "I was just wondering, what do you think Kuwabara-sensei's talking to the dean about?"

The question raised several discussions around the classroom, some of them hopefully wondering if he was going to make the dean reconsider. "Too bad we'll never know." Chao drawled, drawing it out with a sigh "It'd probably be to dangerous to spy on them."

"Is that a challenge?" Kazumi asked, a glint coming to her eyes as she smirked "'Cause if it is I accept!" She opened her laptop, connecting it to the main circuit and began typing away. "All the security cameras are linked." She explained, "if I can access it we can look in on the deans office without leaving this room!"

"H-hold on!" Ayaka cut in, looking indignant "That is an abuse of school property! Not to mention an invasion of privacy! As Class Representative I cannot allow you to do this!"

"Really? Too bad." Chao noted, looking at the blonde with a smile "I suppose we'll never find out what happens to Negi-sensei then."

Ayaka balked and held her head, conflicting emotions raging within her as Kazumi gave the genius a thumbs up. "I'm in!" the reporter announced "Hey look they've started!"

* * *

_Dean's office..._

"I understand your frustration, Kuwabara-kun." Dean Konoe noted, stroking his beard, a bandage atop his oddly shaped head "But it is not your decision to make, this is a final test to see if Negi possesses the skills to remain as a teacher."

"But he's just a kid!" Kuwabara insisted, "Sure he gets on well with them and given time he could probably have pulled them together but to put his job on the line for the chance to pull them out of last place? Isn't that going a bit far?"

* * *

_2A..._

"Kuwabara-sensei doesn't seem to have a lot of faith in us-yo." Chao noted, several of the girls slumping at this while others huffed or looked on impassively.

* * *

_Dean's Office..._

"I admit it is harsh." Konoe noted with a sigh, "But this is the only way he can prove that he EARNED his position here. This is the same task granted to adult temporary sensei's seeking to continue on as instructors here, though I'll admit pulling them out of last place was more of a personal twist."

* * *

_2A..._

"Ara, the dean doesn't expect much of us either." Chizuru noted with a smile, a hand on her cheek. The rest of the class sweat dropped at this. They really WERE in the doghouse then.

* * *

_Dean's Office..._

"Can't you reconsider?" Kuwabara asked, holding out his hands "C'mon, kid's got a load on his plate already, he's far from home and has to teach a class of girls older than him despite only being ten!" he shook his head "Then there's all the crazy stuff that's been going on and his own problems to think about!"

"You seem rather well informed about Negi's condition." The dean noted, eyeing the Tantei from under one bushy eyebrow "How much do you know?"

Kuwabara didn't say anything, the walls had ears and if the Dean didn't know about Negi being a mage the Tantei wasn't about to spill it now. Apparently his look said enough to the older man.

"I see, you're a good man Kuwabara-kun." Dean Konoe noted, a smile on his aged features as he stroked his beard "But my decision is final."

"Then let me help out!" Kuwabara insisted "The kid's probably tutoring th' baka…I mean, those missing students right now, giving them a crash course or somethin'!"

* * *

_2A..._

"You think that's what happened?" Yuna wondered, looking over at Haruna for confirmation.

"Probably?" Haruna lied, not really up to the task of explaining the group had gone missing looking for a so-called 'magic book' to jack up their brainpower.

"Oh, I wish I was being tutored by Negi-kun!" Sakurako squealed, eyes sparkling at the thought "It'd be fun!"

"Now hold on!" Ayaka barked blushing hotly "If anyone's being tutored by Negi-sensei it's me!"

"What for?" Kazumi teased "I thought you were already one of the top five, Iincho-san." She grinned foxily "Just what type of 'tutoring' did you have in mind?"

"ASAKURA!"

* * *

_Dean's Office..._

"You seem quite determined to help Negi-kun." The dean noted, his aged voice laced with amused intrigue as he quirked a brow at the man "Tell me, why go so far for someone?"

"'cause real men don't turn their back on a friend in need." Kuwabara replied, pointing at himself with his thumb "That's my principle, and I'll be danged if I don't do what I can ta help Negi out now!"

* * *

_2A..._

"Sensei…SUGOI!" Sakurako squealed, eyes shining at Kuwabara's words as she gazed at the screen. Several girls were staring at the screen in a similar manner, Haruna busy sketching away in her notebook.

"That's JUST the kinda cheesy one-liner I need for my next manga!" the manga-ka cackled, a hungry look on her face as she even made note of the man's posture. Nodoka flushed slightly and tried to reprimand her friend but trailed off as the Dean spoke again.

* * *

_Dean's Office..._

"Very well," Konoe acknowledge, "I will allow you to tutor the rest of 2A to the best of your abilities in order to help Negi-kun." He looked up, the aged eye locking onto the Tantei's own full of seriousness and wisdom "If, however, 2A does NOT pull out of last place, what will you do?"

Kuwabara grit his teeth, clenching his fists for a moment before calming down, face serious and decidedly calm as he looked the dean square in the eye. "If I can't help the girls out of last place," he stated, voice flat and level "Then I'll hand in my resignation along with Negi."

* * *

_2A..._

Silence, a decidedly foreign element, hung in the air of class 2A like a little lost cloud; it was confused, where was the clamor? Where were the shrieks of girlish energy? Where were the random explosions of noise that had warded it off for so long?

The girls of 2A gaped in shock at the monitor, unable to comprehend the magnitude of what had just been said. Quite a few had super-deformed teary-eyes.

"Kuwabara…sensei…" Ayaka breathed, eyes wide as she gazed at the screen in awe. She blinked, before snapping out of her daze and rounding on the rest of the class "What are you all doing?" she snapped authoritatively "You heard Sensei! To your groups!"

'Well played Kuwabara-sensei.' Was the thought of one Chao Lingshen, smirking to herself even as she began drawing up practice papers for her group 'Well played indeed.'

* * *

_Deep in the bowels of Library Island..._

Negi sneezed, rubbing his nose as he looked around in confusion. The books in this place weren't covered in dust or mildew, despite their location. In fact, most were in pristine condition despite being submerged in water!

Then what had caused the young Magi to sneeze?

Asuna moaned and rolled over, granting the ten-year-old a generous look at her cleavage as her unbuttoned shirt fell open. "Mn…Takahata-sensei…." She mumbled, wrapping around him like a boa constrictor as he freaked. He tried breaking free, only for another set of arms to wrap around him, eyes widening as Konoka rubbed her nose into his hair.

'Mmmm, Negi-kun…kawaii…' the dark haired girl mumbled, a sleepy smile on her face, even as her breast pressed against his arm, Ku Fei and Makie each snuggling a leg like teddy-bears.

'HELP MEEEE!'

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

Kuwabara was starting to feel a little unnerved. Ever since his speak with the dean the girls of 2A, minus the Bakas and Konoka, had been hanging onto his every word and following every order like clockwork.

Every morning he was greeted with a zeal that would have made the strictest drill sergeant weep for joy. The focused stares looking back at him almost made him miss the multitude of demons that had poured out of Sensui's gateway to Makai. On the other hand, lessons were carried out more smoothly, he no sooner asked a question than every hand rose up in an attempt to answer it. True most hadn't a clue what the answer was but they were trying.

All in all he noticed a steady improvement in their knowledge, even when substituting for Negi's English classes he was amazed at the lack of questioning relating to the absence of the wizard.

'Perhaps they're not the simpletons everyone expects them to be.' He noted, smiling as Fuka answered a question he was CERTAIN she hadn't known the answer to a week ago. 'When the chips are down they know when to play ball.'

He didn't notice the looks of admiration he was getting from quite a few members of the class. Several even volunteered to help him in class, most notably Hakase Satomi, Chao Lingshen and Yukihiro Ayaka, three members of the top five in the year. Other notables were the reserved Mana, who often kept watch when he took a break and Nodoka, who provided a number of useful textbooks and reference notes from the library.

All in all, things were starting to look good, except for the fact that Negi and the others were nowhere to be found.

"They can't have gotten too far." Botan noted, sitting on the fence of the roof after school, Kuwabara leaning against it with his arms folded; Sayo hovered next to him, looking concerned.

"I mean true the campus is pretty big," the ferry girl continued "but there have to be only a few places that could provide a peaceful, welcoming environment to tutor in."

"Ano…" Sayo interrupted "What about library island?" she asked, looking at the two nervously "I…I remember getting lost in there once, it's really big, and seems to go on forever."

"How big could a library possibly be?" Kuwabara muttered, eyeing the building in the distance, only to blink as a chuckle sounded behind him.

"You'd be surprised, Sensei." Evangeline pointed out, stepping into view with Chachamaru in tow as always "There are quite a few secrets at this academy, and Library Island has several all to itself."

Kuwabara blinked at the girl, shivering as she regarded him with those cold eyes. Was it just him, or did her gaze linger briefly over at Sayo, who was hiding behind his shoulder? "See you tomorrow sensei." The blonde offered, turning and walking of, Chachamaru offering a polite bow and following after her roommate.

'Something about that girl seems familiar.' Botan noted, feeling a chill pass through her at the memory of Evangeline's stare 'I just know I've seen her face somewhere before…' She was snapped out of her thoughts by Kuwabara walking off, hands in his pockets. "Where are you going?" she asked, jumping off the fence and catching up to him "is something wrong?"

"I don't know why but my sixth sense always seems to go off whenever Eva-chan shows up." Kuwabara muttered, "I don't think she means any harm, heck if she wanted to she could've slit my throat in my sleep, but something tells me she knows more than she's letting on." He shrugged "Ah well, let's check out this library."

* * *

_Library Island..._

"Any luck?" Kuwabara asked, looking over as Botan came running back from the other side.

"Nope." The ferry girl sighed, patting her knees and looking up sadly "Locked up tighter than a Scalper's wallet."

"Kuso." Kuwabara swore, glaring up at the looming structure in annoyance. It hadn't taken them long to find it but this late in the day the library had been shut off. It was only his rank as instructor that had warded off the campus security "there's gotta be a way in there."

"A-Ano…" Sayo spoke out, hovering into view "I think I remember Yue-san mentioning a secret door the Library Exploration Club uses."

"Secret doors, disappearing students, wizards and ghosts." Botan noted with an intrigued smile "This would make one heck of a good book."

"Yeah sure." Kuwabara snorted, following his living-impaired student to what looked like a flooded out old church, a pair of double doors set in the wall. "They were here." He noted, sensing the day old remnants of several familiar auras.

"Bingo." Botan noted, smiling confidently "You're lots better at tracking than Yusuke was Kuwa-kun!"

"But of course!" Kuwabara boasted, his nose growing slightly as Sayo giggled at his antics. He flinched suddenly, a sudden feeling of concern rising in the pit of his stomach as a tremor from below sounded.

"What was that?" Botan wondered, only to blink as Kuwabara tore through the doors like a bat out of hell, the heavy stone slabs left open to the night air.

* * *

_With Negi and co..._

Negi ran frantically behind his semi-nude students, who were currently dressing on the go. Behind them, the massive animated statue lumbered after them, demanding that they return the book currently held in the hands of Ku Fei.

'If I had my powers I could zap us out of here in no time.' The professor thought morosely, staring glumly at the single black mark around his wrist that held his abilities in check for at least another day 'but if I did my secret would be out and I wouldn't be allowed to return to Mahora, I wouldn't be a teacher anymore!'

He tripped suddenly, eyes widening as he realized he hadn't bee paying attention, the tree root snagging his ankle as he fell face first onto the ground. **"HOHOHOHO!" **the oddly familiar voice of their pursuer echoed,** "YOU CANNOT ESCAPE NOW!"**

"NEGI!" Asuna cried turning to help him even as the statue lumbered forwards, red eye gleaming. She blinked as something blurred into motion behind the statue, a flash of light slashing through it, followed by a shocked cry from the Statue as it's arm fell to the floor.

"Ne Bozu." A familiar voice announced, "You sure get into some weird troubles don't you?"

The girls turned as one to gape at the figure that walked out of the dust past their stunned pursuer, his hands in his pockets and a devil-may-care grin on his face.

"K-Kuwabara-sensei?"

Kuwabara grinned, raising his fingers to his head in a mock salute. "Yo."

* * *

Minutes Later...

No one had ever called Kuwabara-Kazuma handsome. He'd been called several versions of the opposite numerous times but never that. Right now, for the baka rangers, there was no one else they were happy to see...except, in Asuna's case, Takahata T. Takamichi.

With the aid of the second professor they managed to locate a hidden doorway whilst 'the rock' was recovering from the loss of its limb, the winding staircase inside blocked at random intervals by doors with questions carved into them.

'Its as if this place KNEW what they came here for.' Kuwabara noted, Yue riding piggyback due to a sprained ankle. 'But that's impossible…right?' He snapped out of his musings as the service elevator came into view, the statue behind panting heavily as it tried to catch up to them. They dog piled into the lift, waving cheekily at the statue as they hit the button for the top floor, only for the 'Over Capacity' alarm to sound.

"Now what do we do?" Negi cried frantically, looking up at the taller sensei desperately, only to blink as Asuna spoke up.

"I can't believe I'm saying this…" the redhead muttered "But STRIP! Toss the clothes! They're excess weight!"

'Damn! Any excuse!' was the shared opinion of the two males as they averted their eyes from the sight of their students tossing their modesty aside, not that it did any good, other than giving their gleeful pursuer an eyeful. Kuwabara grit his teeth a prepared to summon his reiken, damn the consequences, when Negi dashed forwards, face determined and staff in hand.

"MONSTER! I'm your opponent!" the ten year old yelled, prepared to sacrifice himself for the girls, only to blink as a large hand grabbed his collar and threw him back into the lift, where a stunned Asuna caught him. "Kuwabara…san?" the Welshman stammered, looking out at the lift at his taller colleague, who was facing the oncoming threat with his back to them.

"Sorry Bozu…but you weigh a lot less than I do." Kuwabara stated, voice level "And besides, what kind of man would run and leave a child to fight for him?"

He turned his head towards them, eyes shut, making him look years younger as he smiled.

"Ja-na."

"KUWABARA-SAN!" Negi called out, even as the man lunged forwards, fist drawn back with a yell as he rammed it right into the statues startled face, sending them both plummeting over the edge. The last thing the group heard before the elevator door shut was the roar of the falling golem and Kuwabara's higher yell, and then they heard no more.

* * *

_As the elevator rises..._

"Kuwabara-san…" Negi sniffed, holding his legs, head lowered on his knees and bangs covering his eyes as he sobbed "This is my fault, if only I hadn't messed up…if only I…"

"Sensei?" Makie asked, reaching out to pat the boy on the shoulder with a trembling hand. She couldn't believe the friendly, slightly goofy sensei was gone either. He'd always managed to make her feel better about herself, and actually made studying fun.

Around the cramped elevator the feeling of woe was pretty much the same. Even the normally unflappable Yue looked down. Asuna gripped the Melusedek in a vice grip, wondering if it was worth getting it after what had just happened.

"Negi…" she said at last, startling the others with the her solemn voice, "Kuwabara-sensei…wouldn't have wanted us to mope around like this." She gripped the book tightly "He'd have wanted us to get back in one piece and kick butt on the exams!"

She looked around the lift, eyes burning with unshed tears as she held up a fist "C'mon guys, lets do this for sensei!"

"YEAH!"

* * *

Cue the Nadesico music.

Terrible! Inconceivable! Kuwabara has fallen in combat!

Negi: KUWABARA-SAAAAAN!

The maidens of Mahora shed tears for their beloved mentor!

Ayaka: Negi-sensie! Allow me to console you!

But the dreaded exams are looming on the horizon! can they make it in time?

Next time on Reikai sensei Kuwabara: a tragic Loss!

Chisae: We hardly knew the man, what's so tragic about it?

R&R or be junk-punched by Naru.


	10. Chapter 10

mwuh? Huh? I'm still alive?

Yawm...sorry for the wait...lessee...Holy Crap! Kuwabara's dead?

Not on my watch! Go Deus Ex Machina no jutsu!

* * *

10th period.

"The bells already rung!" Ayaka cried out, looking out the window desperately for a sign of the missing students, ears straining for the telltale sound of bells ringing that normally heralded the arrival of her nemesis "Where are they?"

"Honya-chan, Haruna and Konoka have disappeared too!" Yuna exclaimed, looking around frantically.

'Ojou-sama.' Setsuna muttered concernedly, eyeing Konoka's empty seat and wishing she had her sword to comfort her, but it had been confiscated as usual.

"They won't get a failing grade, they'll get NO grade!" Fumika wept, which was the general sentiment in the class. All their studying would turn out to be for naught with eight absent students pulling the class average down.

Nita sensei snorted in annoyance, marking off the absentees with a scowl. "Six missing students," he muttered "and no sign of either Kuwabara-sensei or Negi-sensei." He nodded to Seruhiko "May as well start the-!"

"WAIT!" Negi called out, leading the missing six students up the steps at an exhausted pace the members of 2A cheering at the sight of them "Sorry we're late…overslept!"

"And just where have you been?" Nita asked, looking annoyed, ignoring Nodoka's stammered apologies for forgetting to wake them "And where is Kuwabara-sensei?"

The Bakas flinched and looked down, Negi fighting back tears, as Asuna managed out a quick 'He couldn't make it' before following Nita to a separate classroom. As they passed Negi he group gave him heartening smiles, which he returned.

'I have to have faith in them.' The wizard insisted, recalling the image of Kuwabara leaping at the statue as the lift doors closed 'Kuwabara-san gave his life so we could make it back, I cannot lose faith!'

* * *

Af_ter the exam..._

"Next time, don't be late!" Nita ordered, collecting the tests from the exhausted latecomers and making his way down the hall, where a most unusual sight appeared before him.

"Ah, the tests of the latecomers." The dean noted, a mass of bandages wrapped around its head, only the telltale eyebrows and moustaches hinting as to his identity. "I'll mark them personally Nita-sensei."

"Headmaster!" the 'oni' exclaimed in alarm, gaping at the man's appearance "What happened to you?"

"Just a bad fall." The Dean assured him cryptically, wincing as a few of his joints popped, looking over Nita's shoulder with a nod "Would you care to assist me, Sensei?"

"Hm?" Nita wondered, looking around in confusion "Wha-You?"

* * *

_Grading ceremony..._

"This is bad!" Kasumi exclaimed, staring at her laptop "At this rate there's only one place above last left! The Booby prize!"

All across campus the members of 2A crossed their fingers, no more so than the Bakas and Negi, who had put everything into it; they owed it to Kuwabara to at least succeed in the deans challenge.

"2nd from last is 2K with an average of 69.9 points!" the announcer called out, dashing their hopes to shreds and leaving the Bakas dissolving into a fine mist.

They had failed, they had come in last, after everything they'd been through Kuwabara's sacrifice had been for naught.

Asuna looked round for Negi, looking to comfort the boy, only to find that he had vanished while she'd been gaping at the board like an idiot. She shot off like a bullet, the other Bakas trailing behind her as she made for the one place she KNEW the predictable little brat would go. Sure enough she found him in front of the ticket office, calling out his name and startling him as she ran towards him.

"I'm sorry!" she cried out, flushed and near tears herself "I'm really, really sorry! If I hadn't made us go looking for that stupid book none of this would have-!"

"It's alright Asuna." Negi offered, smiling bravely at the redhead "You couldn't possibly have known what was going to happen, this isn't your fault." He smiled sadly "If I was half the teacher Kuwabara-san was we wouldn't have needed a magic book to pass. I just wasn't ready, and that's all."

He smiled up at her "Tell all the others thank you, especially the other baka rangers." He closed his eyes cheerfully "The brief time I had here…was great."

Asuna moved to protest, only for the wizard to turn sharply, moving through the terminal and dashing off with a cry of farewell. Not one to be outdone, she vaulted over the terminal and lunged after the boy, grabbing him from behind and holding tight.

"You used to bug the living hell outta me when you first got here!" she cried out, face flushing in embarrassment "But even so, you tried so hard for us, the group everyone had given up on!" she hugged him tighter "Now you're just going to run away? Just like that?"

"Negi Bozu!" Ku Fei called out, a desperate Makie running alongside her, as they dashed towards the station. Asuna gaped at them in awe, only for Negi to break out of her hold and dash off.

"I can't take you pitying me!" the welshman exclaimed, letting out a yelp as Makie's ribbon latched around his leg, sending him face first into the platform.

"Negi-kun!" Konoka called out concernedly, helping the boy up and staring at his sear-stained face, before smiling caringly down at him "That was cruel Negi-kun! Sneaking off without telling anyone!"

"This is too harsh a punishment for a kid!" the Bakas insisted, circling around the startled wizard consolingly "We'll petition the headmaster on your behalf!"

"Ho? You called?" an aged voice spoke out, the headmaster hobbling into view from behind, startling them and scaring the bejeezus out of Makie, who mistook him for a mummy "My apologies Negi-kun, it seems the final numbers were tallied WITHOUT the eight students I personally graded. The news club students have been disciplined severely I assure you."

"Wha-what does that mean?" the Baka's exclaimed, hope rising in their eyes as Konoka pointed out the possibility that MAYBE they had avoided last place after all.

"You mean it all depends on us baka rangers?" Makie asked, looking distraught, until she received her grade of 66. Ku Fei and Kaede looked rather chuffed at their own 67 and 63 percent respectively; whilst Yue seemed oddly disappointed at her own 63.

Haruna, Nodoka and Konoka easily scored over the 80 mark, the dean congratulating his granddaughter before turning to address the understandably nervous Baka red, AKA Asuna.

"71 percent." The dean revealed, nodding proudly at the stunned girl "You did very well Asuna-kun." He shifted trough the papers "With these, the average score comes to 81.2 percent."

"T-that means…" Negi stammered, recalling that the previous top score had been 80.8, even as a cheer erupted around the school.

"2A IS TOPS!" the Bakas cheered, raising their voices along side their classmates as they danced around the stunned professor who was looking at the ground in shock.

"Asuna-san…" he stammered, tears lining his cheeks "I…we…!"

Asuna grinned at him and ruffled his hair "We did, huh you little brat?" she teased, a kind tone in her voice.

Negi blinked smiling up at her, before looking up at the sunny sky. "We did it…Kuwabara-san."

"Sure did, Bozu."

* * *

_Mahora Station..._

Negi froze, Asuna froze, the collective Baka rangers and Library Exploration Club froze at the sound of the cheerful, hauntingly familiar voice. Negi briefly wondered if he was hearing things, until he realized that everyone seemed to be looking behind him.

"N-Negi…" Asuna stammered, eyes wide in disbelief as she pointed behind the mage. Even Kaede's eyes were wide in shock, which was saying a lot, as she rarely showed any form of emotion with them.

Slowly, hardly daring to hope, he turned to face behind, staring at the figure before him with wide eyes, taking in the tall frame, the white suit pants and black shirt, red tie undone and orange ponytail blowing in the slight breeze.

"S'matter?" Kuwabara called out, smirking down at the boy "Ya look like you've seen a ghost Bozu."

"Kuwa…Bara...san?" Negi managed to get out, the child-sensei's eyes tearing up at the sight of the man, before leaping forwards, decorum forgotten as he latched onto his neck "KUWABARA-SAN!"

"ACK! CALM DOWN BOZU!" Kuwabara swore, tumbling over backwards as Negi's momentum near threw them onto the train tracks, thankfully falling short on the platform "Damn, what the hell you got in that rucksack of yours?" he blinked as the sound of pounding feet drew near "Oh Shit!"

"Sensei!" the Bakas yelled out, dog piling on the duo, getting tangled together as they laughed cheered and cried their eyes out, Sayo giggling overhead, invisible to everyone but the frantic man below, who was trying to get his head over the side of the platform before the next train arrived.

* * *

_That afternoon..._

It was with a warm smile and a serious air the Konoe Konoemon, dean of Mahora Gakuen and elder of the Kanto magic association, added his personal seal to two official documents, which bore the name of two of the finest, noblest young men he'd ever had the fortune to meet.

'A shame Kuwabara-kun is taken.' He sighed, recalling the man's savage right hook through the visor of the statue and the courage he'd shown in risking himself for the others 'Ah well, time will tell…and there's always Negi-kun after all.' He noted cheerfully, blowing on the ink to dry it, before sending the documents off in envelopes.

* * *

_Later..._

"EEEH?" the Bakas exclaimed, clustered at one table at the café 2A was currently celebrating at "So the Headmaster was inside the Golem?"

"Yup." Kuwabara replied, sipping at his soda "I thought I was gonna be fired for sure when I found out. He said it was all part of the test."

"Grandpa." Konoka sighed, shaking her head in a long-suffering manner, whilst Asuna ranted in the corner about strangling the old man. Negi chuckled weakly, before blinking as he looked over a Kuwabara.

"By the way," the little mage asked, looking at his colleague inquisitively "How'd you find us down there?"

"I told you." Kuwabara replied, tweaking the boys nose "Stick with me and you never get lost. Finding stuff is my specialty."

"Sensei so cool Aru!" Ku Fei cheered, Kaede smiling in agreement next to her "You kick ass in scavenger hunt!"

"Hunt!" Asuna swore, pigtails fairing angrily as she pummeled a plushy of the dean, where she got one would forever remain a mystery "There's an idea! Ayaka! I need to borrow a horse and some bloodhounds!"

"Always full of energy that one." Kuwabara chuckled, earning a smile from Negi as they watched the two go at it again. "Not too sure that's good thing."

* * *

_That evening..._

"Tadaima." Kuwabara yawned, coming home to the cottage to find only Chachamaru waiting for him "Huh? Where's Eva-Chan?"

"She has an appointment with the dean." The green haired girl replied, "She asked me to stay behind this time, is there anything I can help you with?"

"Nah I'm fine." Kuwabara replied, wincing as he took his jacket off. He'd landed badly on his shoulder and it still hurt like hell. He blinked as a pair of hands rubbed against it, looking round into the concerned eyes of his roommate.

"You see to have a injured your shoulder." Chachamaru stated, "Please let me take a look."

Kuwabara's protests fell on deaf ears as the green haired gynoid made him take off his shirt so she could examine the limb. "As suspected, a minor sprain, possibly muscle bruising as well." She rubbed her hands over the joint "Did you pop it back into place?"

Kuwabara nodded, the dean had helped but it still didn't stop the fact that it hurt like hell having his arm yanked back into place.

"I'll fetch a pack to sooth the muscle and numb the pain." Chachamaru insisted, moving to the cabinet and retrieving the items, along with a roll of bandages "I suggest you get some rest Sensei."

'When the hell did I get a nanny' the professor wondered dimly, as the gynoid gently tended to his wounds, sending him up to bed with a glass of milk and a soft good night.

Sayo crawled in beside him that night, resting her head over his heart like Eikichi used to as the Tantei, and now permanent instructor drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Several weeks later...

Kuwabara was walking along the campus path, taking in the scenery with a smile, marveling at the architecture of the campus. "It's like one of those European towns you see in documentaries Kurama watches." He noted, nodding to a pair of passing students with a smile "Come ta think of it, didn't some European guy build the place ta start with?"

"Kuwabara-sensei!" a pair of voices called out, the lanky professor turning to regard the Narutaki twins and their escort, a smiling Negi Springfield, as they made their way towards him. "Yo, Fuka-chan, Fumi-chan!" he greeted, nodding towards them "Hey Bozu, what's up?"

"Nothing really," Negi replied, "I was exploring around campus the Narutakis were nice enough to volunteer to act as guides."

"Wanna join us Sensei?" the twins asked in tandem "Please! The more the merrier after all!"

"Alright, alright!" the Tantei surrendered, laughing as he allowed them to pull him along after them "I'm not doing much anyways, and walk seems like a good idea."

Their First stop was the junior high's exclusive gym, where various clubs including basketball and gymnastics were practicing.

* * *

"Only the volleyball and dodge ball clubs really have any games here." The twins noted in true tour guide fashion "The rhythmic gymnastics club is pretty good too, tho' the basketball teams weak."

"Hey!" Yuna exclaimed, spiking out in protest; It wasn't her fault no-one enjoyed the club as much as she did!

Kuwabara chuckled at the antics, particularly when Negi took offence to being compared to an old man. "Sensei! Sensei!" Fuka called out, drawing their attention with a devious grin "Wanna check out the changing rooms? I know you Wanna!"

"WE MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT!" Negi yelled, flushing an interesting shade of Magenta as he and Kuwabara beat feet to the exit, a giggling Makie looking out at them shyly from behind the door.

* * *

The Second stop found them at the pool, where Akira Okochi greeted them kindly as she got out of the pool, followed by several other members of the swim team. Whilst Negi looked about in a flustered manner, Kuwabara was resolutely keeping his eyes glued on the girls' faces, cursing his years of a delinquent purchasing doujinshi and damning the man who designed school swimsuits to the darkest depths of hell.

By the time the third stop rolled around Kuwabara had begun to suspect that the Narutakis were doing this on purpose. He'd also developed a deep loathing for the person who'd designed cheerleading outfits and their ability to corrupt the will of weaker minded men.

"What's the matter sensei?" Fuka teased eying the two males as they left the giggling cheerleaders behind "all this sexiness making you lose your cool?"

"No, but your desire to show it to us IS!" the two exclaimed, chasing after the twins, faces red with embarrassment.

"EEEE! Sensei's pissed!" Fumika squealed, running after her twin as they made for the hills.

"It's not my fault!" Fuka yelled over her shoulder "This is a girls' school!"

* * *

_Later..._

'I swear I'm never having twins.' Kuwabara swore, leaning back on his chair at the café as the Narutakis put away several bowls of mango pudding chocolate parfaits with happy smiles. 'Then again…' he trailed off in thought at the image of Yukina in a maternal kimono, belly swollen with child as she smiled at him in that adorable manner of hers.

"Kuwabara-san, your nose is bleeding." Negi pointed out, offering the man a handkerchief to clean it up.

"Thinking dirty thoughts?" Fuka teased, flushing slightly as she leered at him "Bad boy Sensei!"

"Shut it!" Kuwabara choked, the twins bursting into laughter, even Negi letting out a weak chuckle. At that moment the watch went off, heralding the Tantei's departure from the café and leaving Negi to the tender mercies of two of the worst troublemakers in 2A.

"Kuwa-kun!" Botan called out, running up from the sidelines "It's headed for that tree up there!"

"On it!" the Tantei yelled, shifting up a gear as he dashed towards the tree.

* * *

_With Negi..._

"Sugoi!" Negi exclaimed, gazing up in awe at the massive trunk of the world tree. He'd never seen anything this big that wasn't in a book. "It's huge!"

"There's several legends about this tree." Fuka noted climbing onto one of the lower branches along with the others "One says that if you confess your love to someone in front of this tree, they'll return that love."

The twins gazed out at the setting sun, eyes bright with romance as they watched it fall "How romantic." They sighed in tandem, smiling softly.

Negi smiled at the, marveling at the change from energetic little girls to romantic young women. He tried to envision who he'd confess to, starting off with Anya, disregarding his sister Nekane, smiling a bit giddily at the warm features of Konoka; only to balk in horror as Asuna's glaring features appeared in his minds eye. 'Oh no freaking way!' he exclaimed, shaking himself to rid his mind of the terrifying mental image 'Besides, teacher and students…that's just WRONG.'

"Fumika, here's an idea!" Fuka exclaimed, clapping her hands "Let's tell sensei we like and maybe he'll be our boyfriend!"

"COME AGAIN?" Negi yelped, only for a twin to latch onto each of his arms, preventing him from escaping "AAH! WHAT HAPPENS IF THAT STUPID LEGEND TURNS OUT TO BE TRUE?" he cried out, eyes frantic swirls as the twins planted identical smooches on his flushing cheeks.

"We love you sensei!" they called out in tandem, smiling cutely "Please treat us to mango parfaits again!"

* * *

_Below..._

Kuwabara chuckled as he stood at the base of the tree, gripping an unconscious demon by the nape of its neck, one hand in his pocket as he listened to Negi's frantic cries from above. "You're gonna grow up to be quite the heartbreaker Bozu." The Tantei prophesized, smirking slightly as the struggles intensified "Good thing I'm around to make sure you don't take advantage of it."

"Ugly to balance out the pretty huh?" the demon opined, only to have its face rammed into the trunk of the tree "Owie…"

"Who are YOU calling ugly?" Kuwabara muttered dragging the semi-comatose demon out of sight by his ankle, purposefully taking the path covered with rocks and roots.

By the time the demon was tossed through the portal he was bruised, beaten, mildly concussed, and almost grateful to be handed over to the tender mercies of the Makai Patrol.

Almost being the word in question, this particular demon had tossed chili dust into the third eye of the head pursuer, and something told him the short little bastard was the type to carry a grudge, namely the vindictive smirk on his face and the rusty cheese grater he held in his hand.

* * *

Cue Nadesico music

Love is in the air!

Asuna: Again?

A letter from home brings the rpomise of new feelings!

Negi: Ah! Nekane-oneechan! Why'd you write this?

The girls' fantasies are running rampant!

Kuwabara: WTF? THIS ISN'T A QUEER MANGA!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: Trancendant Emotions.

Haruna: Kukukuku! Inspiration!

Read and Review or be Junk punched by Chuck Norris Sensei.


	11. Chapter 11

And so we continue with the drama, sorry, no pactios yet, just more random goodness.

* * *

11th Period.

A morning on a weekend, what wonders await us on this glorious day? We zoom in on the current residence of resident Tantei, Kuwabara Kazuma, a rather quaint little cottage he currently shares with two…Erm…three students. How will our daring hero face the dangers of the world today?

"SNARRK- BLORT-SNAAAAAARRKKHKHKHKK-K!"

Erm…maybe we should come back later, preferably AFTER that little girl with the blonde hair calms down and stops trying to suffocate Kuwabara with a pillowcase. Let us turn instead to the shared residence of our OTHER male lead in this high school, or should I say, JUNIOR high school, drama?

* * *

_Negi's lovely suite..._

Negi smiled as he helped tidy up around the small dorm room he shared with Asuna and Konoka, the former dashing about to get changed for her route whilst the latter served breakfast with a smile.

"This is really, really good Konoka-san!" Negi praised, eyes closed as he smiled at the dean's granddaughter "You'll make a good wife someday!"

"You're too much Negi-kun!" Konoka giggled, hitting him on the head with a little hammer that she pulled out of nowhere. The two then spent the morning tidying up around the room, folding laundry, airing out the beds and general cleaning up, all at a cheerful pace.

'She's good at cleaning, laundry and cooking…Konoka's wonderful.' Negi mused, smiling at the girl as she passed 'Sure she's sometimes a little over the top,' he felt the bandage from the hammer wound 'but that's nothing compared to Asuna-san. Konoka's a Zephyr, Asuna's a Hurricane.'

"HEY NEGI!" Asuna yelled out, slamming the front door open and rushing inside, letter in hand just as Negi shrieked out an apology "What's your problem? Never mind, probably too many to list, namely this!" she held up the letter "If you wanna keep your magical connections under wraps you gotta get more subtle envelopes!"

"No kidding." Negi muttered sweat dropping at the distinct return address on the envelope. Even if it WAS addressed in English there was no guarantee someone from Japan couldn't read it. Deciding to speak with the Magus about it later, the magi in training slit it open to smile at the familiar scent coming off the pages. "It's a letter of my sister!" he exclaimed, opening it up and smiling as the magical recording displayed his sisters smiling form.

"It's been a long time Negi, are you well?" the image asked "Congratulations on becoming a respectable teacher. From now on it's the real deal so be diligent and do your best."

The image smiled in an oddly maternal manner that ones normally associated with those who had caught their little brother looking at magazines of a certain type and was filing it away for later embarrassment. "Also…I may be jumping the gun, but I wonder if you found your partner?" she sounded rather thrilled by the prospect, judging by the flush on her face "Wizards and partners attract each other so she's already probably someone close to you." The image giggled "Whoever you find in your apprenticeship I hope she's pretty."

"A partner?" Negi repeated in the long-suffering manner of those whose older siblings live to embarrass them "It's a little early for that sister." He let out an indignant squawk as Asuna promptly put him in a headlock.

"You been holding out on me Negi!" the redhead teased, grinning maliciously "You got a fiancé stashed away somewhere? A lover? Precocious ain't the half of it!"

"It's nothing like that!" Negi insisted, calming down and pointing at an image that, for conveniences sake, we'll say appeared in a thought bubble "It's a traditional hope that wizards who are active in society will find a …for lack of a better word…mate, who will watch their back. Such partners are considered 'Minister Magi'." He smiled and held up a finger for emphasis "in fact, you can't be considered a Magister Magi without one!"

"Hmm," Asuna muttered, holding her chin thoughtfully "So it's always a male/female pairing, right?"

"Well, men and women have different priorities, so they compliment each other well." Negi admitted with a flush "Plus, y'know, the handsome hero wants the beautiful heroine and vice versa. A lot of partners wind up marrying each other."

"So I was right the first time!" Asuna insisted, stretching out the boy's cheeks with a smirk "It's a lover!"

"So you really came to Japan to find a lover Negi-kun?" Konoka asked cheerfully "Well our class alone gives you thirty to choose from!"

"WAHAH! KONOKA-SAN!" the magi in training bleated, leaping backwards in fright alongside a startled Asuna, who asked her roommate what she'd heard.

"Just the part about finding ideal partners." Konoka replied, smiling blankly "So what's in the letter?"

"Nothing!" Negi insisted, stuffing the damnable piece of enchanted paper away "Nothing at all!" He gaped as Konoka giggled and dashed to the door, throwing it open wide.

"Hey everyone!" she called out cheerfully into the hallway "Negi-kun came to Japan to find a lover!"

"NOOOO!" Negi caterwauled, tears streaming down his cheeks "I came here to be a teacher!"

"Take it easy Negi-kun I was just joking!" Konoka assured her, shutting the door with an apologetic smile "Asuna, Ojichan called me again, so I'm off."

"Oh boy," Asuna sighed, sweat dropping exasperatedly "He wants to talk about 'that' again?"

"That?" Negi asked, blinking up at her in confusion even as he waved to Konoka "What is 'that' supposed to be?"

"Never you mind." Asuna shot back, sighing tiredly "Boy, Konoka came out of nowhere didn't she?"

The two returned to the room, never noticing the identical flushing faces that had been camped outside their door, listening for interesting tidbits.

* * *

_Beware teh cute ones..._

"This Is big!" the Narutaki twins announced, rampaging all over the school to inform their classmates "Negi-sensei came to Japan to find a partner!"

"Wh-What did you say?" Exclaimed Yukihiro Ayaka, a startled Kazumi and Chizuru looking up in shock "Negi-sensei is looking for a partner?"

"Partner? As in Lover?" Kugimiya Madoka asked, looking at her fellow cheerleaders for confirmation.

"It means a marriage partner!" Kakizaki Misa replied enthusiastically, absolutely thrilled at this piece of gossip.

"Looking for a fiancé!" Shiina Sakurako noted excitedly "It's like something out of the movies!"

"What I heard is that Negi-sensei is the prince of a small country who's hiding his identity!" Haruna pointed out.

"Then you'd be marrying into to royalty!" Yuna exclaimed excitedly, the girls chattering over this piece of information for several minutes.

"Hey! Sakurako pointed out "You know how Kuwabara-sensei's always trying to protect Negi? Maybe' he's his guardian! Like a Samurai!"

* * *

_Everyone shared a collective image of Negi in traditional Japanese robes with Kuwabara crouching before him in samurai armor and a sheathed sword in hand._

_YO-OH_

_Tap-Tap!_

* * *

"No! Negi-kun's British right?" Misa contradicted, "Then Kuwabara would be his knight!"

* * *

_The previous image was replaced with Negi in expensive European royalty robes and crown, with Kuwabara kneeling before him in full paladin armor._

_Negi: Rise, my champion._

_Kuwabara: Yes, my king._

* * *

"Hey now wait a minute." Haruna noted, a dark thought entering her mind as she smirked, putting on her 'game face' that scared little children and grown, straight men, everywhere, "what if they have THAT type of relationship…think about it, Kuwabara-sensei's always dodging the question when it comes to his favorite type of GIRL."

The class blinked, then as one suffered from hemorrhaging noses as the image was once again replaced, this time with a bishounen Kuwabara and Negi, the latter being pressed against a wall as the former nibbled on his ear.

* * *

_Negi: Kuwabara-san…I'm scared..._

_Kuwabara: Don't worry Negi-kun…I'll be gentle…_

* * *

"MEDIC!" Haruna yelled, looking round frantically as she tried to support a fainted Nodoka "WOMAN DOWN! MEDIC!"

Yue sipped her juice dispassionately and watched as an unconscious Ako floated past, face red with embarrassment and/or the sight of so much blood. "Lightweight."

* * *

_Elsewhere..._

Kuwabara sneezed, shivering uncontrollably as he looked around. He had just gotten the mother of all goose bumps, a feeling that not only had someone walked over his grave, but were digging it up to get at him again.

He'd woken up to find the shredded remains of a pillow littering his bed and both roommates missing. Opting to go for a walk, he donned his outfit from the first day at Mahora and had been making his way towards the main street when the feeling hit him that something very BAD was about to happen.

"Ah! Kuwabara-san!" Negi greeted, walking over to the taller professor, staff held before him "Fancy meeting you here!"

"Same to you Bozu." The Tantei greeted, ruffling his hair as he eyed the staff "Been meaning to ask, why do you always carry that thing?"

"This? It's my staff." Negi replied, smiling at it, "I've had it since I was little, my father gave it to me."

"Mind if I take a look?" Kuwabara asked, unaware that they had picked up an audience, since they were staying well out of sight, if not earshot.

* * *

_With the girls..._

"See! They're always together!" Haruna noted, cackling as they hid around the side of a building, listening in on the conversation.

"I don't know…" Negi's voice carried over, the uncertainty in his voice making several of them flush.

"Aw c'mon I'm not gonna break it!" Kuwabara replied, several eyes widening at his words "Just let me hold it for a while."

"Okay…" Negi replied uncertainly, the girls blushing madly, Ayaka actually having to be propped up by two others as Kuwabara whistled.

"This is a pretty big piece of wood you're lugging around Bozu." The older sensei noted, earning gasps of horrified delight from the audience, Nodoka hyperventilating out of embarrassment "Pretty heavy too."

"AH! Kuwabara-san stop!" Negi called out, sounding concerned "Don't just swing it around!"

"Oh my God!" Kazumi gasped, face flushing at the implications of this conversation, sticking out her phone to snap a picture. Haruna saw her and moved to stop the paparazzi before she gave the game away, the two starting a fight with the other girls trying to get them to stop, only for all of them to sprawl out into the open like a tangled sack of dominoes, gazing up with embarrassed eagerness to see Kuwabara and Negi gaping at them in confusion, Negi's staff held in the formers hands as he examined it.

* * *

Kuwabara's POV...

"What in th' hey?" Kuwabara muttered, gazing dumbly at the gaping assortment of tangled limbs "What are you girls doing here?"

The girls looked between the two in confusion, noting the staff in Kuwabara's hands and sighing as their nightmare/guilty wet dream faded into obscurity. However, as denizens of 2A, they weren't wont to stay depressed for long, and with a surge they rose to their feet, flocking toward the duo with sparkles in their eyes.

Kuwabara, who's sixth sense had been heightened by the trials of the campus, acted completely on instinct and grabbed Negi around the waist and made for the hills, staff clutched in his free hand as the stampede followed, hot on their trails. "EEE! The knight saves the prince!" Sakurako called out excitedly, eyes gone sparkly again "That proves it!"

"Negi-sensei!" the masses called out, spurred one by the actions of the Tantei and Sakurako's yelling "Make me your partner!"

"Is there some kinda fucked up script going around campus that doesn't quite get as far as us?" Kuwabara yelled to the heavens, realizing in his haste he'd only made the situation worse, but would be damned if he was abandoning Negi to a fate worse than death…namely hormonal schoolgirls.

Negi merely held on for dear life, understanding that somehow the Mahora Grapevine must have heard Konoka earlier and the vines had spread out to wreak havoc on his life once again. As such he was quite grateful to Kuwabara for being there, at the very least he'd given the boy a running, well, carrying start.

"Kuso!" he heard Kuwabara growl, before the arm holding him shifted him to a better position as they rounded a corner "Hold on Bozu!" That was all the warning Negi got before they were suddenly airborne, landing on the roof of a building and rolling, the girls below gasping in confusion at their sudden disappearance.

'WAY too close.' Kuwabara panted, letting the reiki he'd channeled to his legs die down before the glow caught Negi's attention 'Good thing I know these streets so well.'

"Kuwabara-san?" an inquisitive voice called out, the lanky professor looking down at his confused ten year old colleague "How did you do that?"

"Ancient Kuwabara secret Bozu." He replied with a smirk, putting a hand over his mouth as he silently looked up at Sayo. The spectral girl shook her head and gave him a thumb's up, the coast was clear. "Anyway, we better lay low for a bit."

"The school." Negi insisted, dusting himself off and checking his staff for damage "It should be empty until tomorrow."

"Good idea." Kuwabara noted, wincing as the dieing echoes of the horde moved in the distance, before grinning "And I know a short cut."

* * *

Moments Later...

If anyone had ever told Negi Springfield that he'd be sneaking into school on a weekend to avoid a horde of love struck girls he'd have probably laughed at them. Well, he'd have laughed, but then he'd apologize and asked them if they were feeling quite all right.

As it were, getting to the school via the rooftops was one of the most invigorating things the ten-year-old had ever done, it gave you a whole new perspective of things in a way.

That is until he caught sight of Ku Fei and Kaede bounding towards them from the side, the look in their eyes and the speed they were going at making it clear they were no strangers to rooftop travel.

"Kuso!" Kuwabara swore, grabbing Negi and leaping onto a lower rooftop, "Stay here for a bit, I'll run on ahead and try to distract them!" With that he swiped his colleague's jacket, tucked it under his arm like a ball and leapt off, the two girls following in pursuit.

"YOU NO ESCAPE ME ARU!" Ku Fei yelled out, Kaede chuckling to herself as they followed the retreating figure, whilst the other half of their quarry was in fact sneaking away towards the campus.

Using his staff to touch down quietly, the young magus let out a breath of relief, hoping Kuwabara managed to give them the slip, only to freeze as a startled gasp sounded behind him. 'OH HELL! I've been spotted!' he realized, all logic leaving him as he tried to make up an excuse, images of himself as an ermine flashing before his eyes, only for a gentle hand to land on his cheek, prompting him to look up into the face of one of the prettiest girls he'd ever seen.

"Negi-kun you're embarrassing me!" she exclaimed, flushing under his scrutiny "What's going on? You startled me when you popped out of nowhere!"

"Ko-Konoka-san?" the ten year old stammered, eyeing his roommate as if seeing her for the first time. Konoka had always been a pretty girl to look at, and had always made him feel welcome in the dorm. The young woman standing before him now was a stunning example of traditional Japanese beauty; hair brushed carefully and dressed up in an expensive looking kimono and hair ornaments.

Needless to say if Negi wasn't looking forward to puberty before he sure as hell was now.

Before either could question each other as to why the heck they were there however, several male voices called out looking for the girl, causing her to run off like a rabbit, Negi trailing after her for the heck of it. For some reason the idea of running AWAY from Konoka had never really crossed his mind, even during the love potion incident he was more concerned with the multitude of students chasing him than any one in particular.

Right now he was wondering if he should have run from the girl back then.

* * *

_With Kuwabara..._

Kuwabara let out a yell as he leapt a particularly large gap between a building and the gym, stopping to catch his breath and get his bearings. This, as the great scholar of the art of 'running the fuck away' Rincewind would have said, was a big mistake.

He was dimly aware of the auras rushing towards him just in time to roll forwards to avoid Ku Fei's flying kick. When he got to his feet it was to find Kaede smiling down at him in a friendly manner. "Looks like Negi-sensei isn't here." The Koga beauty noted offhandedly, Ku pouting and fussing as she made her way towards them "Pretty brave of you sensei, acting as decoy."

"You pretty fast for first timer Aru." Ku acknowledged, her hands hidden inside her sleeves as she looked at the tantei "What think of first time roof hopping?"

"Fine, unless you count being hunted like a convict." Kuwabara replied, a smirk crossing his features as he slowly got to his feet.

"So do you think Negi-sensei got to the academy alright?" Kaede asked, smiling at the stunned look on Kuwabara's face "We could tell when you took off without him."

"Eh? Negi-Bozu going to academy?" Ku repeated, a silly expression on her face as Kaede and Kuwabara sweatdropped. "Why you not tell Aru?"

"Never mind." Kuwabara muttered, cutting the two off "Look, I don't know what's going on but you girls are obviously over-reacting again!" he waved a hand around at their surroundings "I mean come on! Who chases someone over rooftops because of a dumb rumor?"

"Who said we were chasing Negi-sensei?" Kaede replied, sending a shiver down Kuwabara's spine. "We wanted to have a word with you sensei."

"You strong Aru." Ku spoke up, eyeing the professor appraisingly "Very strong, want to see HOW strong."

'Oh boy…' Kuwabara muttered, watching in trepidation as Ku got into a martial arts stance and Kaede allowed some stiletto knives to appear in her hands.

* * *

"An Omiai?" Negi repeated, looking at Konoka in awe "Wow, that's interesting…what's an Omiai?"

"An Omiai is a marriage partner." Konoka explained, still smiling at the boy despite her brief stumble. "Basically you go out on arranged blind dates in hopes of finding your future partner."

"Partner?" Negi repeated, blinking as Konoka spread several files out on the table for him to see "WHOA! So many!" he exclaimed, feeling an odd surge of jealousy he couldn't quite explain "And they all look pretty good! There's doctors and lawyers-!"

"And all of them are at least twice my age." Konoka pointed out, sighing as she sat on a desk "I'm just a kid, why should I have to decided on a husband?"

"You shouldn't!" Negi agreed, a little TOO enthusiastically to be seen as a neutral opinion "I totally understand what you're saying Konoka-san!"

"Speaking of which, aren't you also looking for a partner?" the girl asked with a smile, tapping him on the nose, "In that case, more than any of the guys Grandpa chooses…I'd prefer you as my partner."

Negi felt a blush burn his cheeks crimson as he gazed into those beautiful eyes, only for Konoka to ruin the moment by going off on a tangent about how foreigners made the best husbands whilst imaging what Negi would look like at 18. "Hey!" the girl noted at length "How about I try to determine your ideal partner?" she asked, brushing aside his feeble complaints and staring at his palm. "Hmmm your ideal partner is very close…you've gotten closer to this girl over the spring break."

'That doesn't narrow it down much.' Negi noted with a chuckle, there were quite a few girls he'd met with over break...a little TOO well for some.

"Hey now!" Konoka giggled, looking at him coyly, a teasing look in her gentle eyes "It looks like you've already seen her panties!"

'That STILL doesn't narrow it down much!' Negi noted with a look of shock, and mild horror on his face. Even so it did drop the candidates from fourteen to five.

"She has ponytails with twin bells" Konoka continued, giggling slightly "and one of her charming points is that she's a little tough."

"That's obviously Asuna-san!" Negi yelped, arms flailing in vexation as he realized he'd been conned "You're just making this stuff up!"

"But you like Asuna don't you?" Konoka teased, giggling as Negi chased her around the classroom in a tantrum, before hugging him close "I'm happy you came here Negi-kun." The girl said honestly, "Because ever since then it's like I've got a cute little brother."

Negi blushed at this enawed at her sentiment, only to spike out in a minor tantrum once again "I'm not a brother! I'm a teacher! He insisted, only to gape as Konoka tripped over her Kimono and fell to the floor, taking him down with her. When the mage in training got to his knees, it was to find himself staring right at Konoka's panties as she lay on the floor, a sight that many men would have died for had Setsuna gotten her way.

"Now my panties have been seen!" Konoka giggled, enjoying the look of embarrassment on the boys face, only to blink as she finally noticed the two figures in the door "Uh oh…"

"What on earth are you two doing?" Ayaka and Asuna yelled in tandem, which resulted in a veritable avalanche as the rest of 2A burst into the classroom, followed closely by Konoka's suitors.

"AIIEEEEE!"

"UWAAAAH! KUWABARA-SAAAAAAN!"

* * *

Elsewhere...

'How the hell do I get into these messes?' Kuwabara squawked, ducking under a plethora of knives only to receive a kick to the jaw that sent him skidding back.

"You no fall down?" Ku noted in interest, eyes gleaming excitedly as she dashed forwards "This be fun Aru!"

'DAMMIT!'

* * *

Cue nadesico music

What's this? the girls are in danger!

Asuna: Again?

A fanged menace stalks the cherry blossom avenue and it's sights are on Makie!

Makie: EEH?

Run Makie! Your youthfull body shall serve you true!

Next time on Reikai sensei Kuwabara: the transience of mortals!

Eva: Huhuuu...I like where this is going.

R&R or Nodoka will cry...you won't like me if she cries.


	12. Chapter 12

More kuwabara goodness

Warning, those who hate cruelty to children and spiritually empowered former delinquents, look away.

* * *

12th period.

_The full moon shone red down on cherry Street Avenue, bathing the normally deserted path in crimson light. Sasaki Makie gasped as she fled down the street, the bucket with her bathing utensils in it rattling as she heard the wind rustling in the trees, eyes flicking from side to side desperately as he kept a look out for her pursuer._

_A shadow loomed up before her, dark and terrifying and with a wide, gaping red mouth and eyes. The edges of the shadow stretched out like giant wings, blotting out the moonlight and the path ahead._

_Makie stumbled backwards, losing her footing and falling against one of the sakura trees, her toiletries falling to the ground and scattering. She looked up into the shadowy features of her assailant and trembled, tears forming in her eyes at the sight of the approaching fangs as she opened her mouth to scream._

* * *

_Eva's cottage..._

Kuwabara shot out of bed with a yell, gasping for breath and covered with sweat, as if he'd been running a marathon. It had been a long time since he'd had such a vivid dream and he didn't feel like taking any risks. After all, the last one had been at the dark tournament, and THAT one had nearly gotten him, and three of his closest friends, killed.

"Sensei?" Sayo called out, hovering next to the sweating former delinquent, eyes brimming with concern, "Daijobu? Do you need help?"

"Kuwabara-sensei?" Chachamaru's concerned voice called out evenly from the other side of the door "Do you require my assistance?"

"N-No," Kuwabara called out, waving Sayo's concerns aside as he answered his green haired student "Just…a bad dream, that's all."

"I see…" Chachamaru opined after a brief pause, her tone concerned "It is almost time for breakfast, shall I brew some coffee?"

"Please." Kuwabara asked, rubbing his neck and noting the stubble, getting out of the bead with a groan "Is there hot water?"

"Hai." Chachamaru replied politely, pausing as she turned from the door to ask the routine question "Will you require any assistance in the bath?"

"No!" Kuwabara choked out, coughing from the vocal strain and clearing his throat as he calmed down "Erm, No Chachamaru, I can handle it."

"Very well."

* * *

_Later..._

As the water washed away the sweat from the night before, Kuwabara let his mind wander back to the vision that had woken him. Genkai had confided in him that his perceptive abilities were top notch, surpassing even hers if he received the proper training, and that he shouldn't take visions lightly, no matter how much he tried to ignore them. People who ignored their visions tended to wind up six feet under, and in her line of work, buried in several different places.

'Didn't get a good look at the attacker.' He muttered glumly as he reached for the tap to cut the flow 'Just a dark shape, all eyes and teeth.' He growled as he toweled himself off, he HATED premonitions with too little detail, it usually meant that the danger was great and that it would either happen soon or had happened already.

Strapping on the tablet holster he smiled comfortingly at Sayo, who faded into the medium as he pulled on his jacket. He found his students/roommates waiting for him in the dining room, blinking as he caught sight of a smirking Eva. "Bad dreams sensei?" the blonde asked, looking him over coyly, "Aren't you a little old to be having nightmares?"

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking espresso?" Kuwabara shot back, the blonde raising a coy eyebrow and taking a sip of said drink.

"Touché sensei." She replied, setting the cup down delicately as Chachamaru offered the professor some toast "Ready for another day?"

Kuwabara blinked, eyeing the unusually chatty girl warily. He didn't know why but every time he locked gazes with her he felt like he was talking to Genkai. But that was impossible; no way this little slip of a girl could be as smart as the aged psychic.

"We'd best be off." Eva noted as she got to her feet without a second look at the startled professor "Chachamaru, lets go."

* * *

_Mahora staff room..._

"AH! Tendo-sensei!" Shizuna-sensei greeted, causing Seruhiko to squeak, Akashi to moan and Nita's scowl to deepen as a short haired woman in a tracksuit entered the staff room. "You're back early!"

"I couldn't sit back and leave the campus in the hands of THEM." The woman replied, shooting a superior glare towards her male colleagues, who flinched. They had learned early on that it was better to bow your head and go along with whatever Tendo said, it was that or she'd hit you, HARD.

The last person to defy her had been the former head PE instructor, a massive man with muscles the size of basketballs, a wife and daughter and a heart of gold. He'd refused to surrender his position because he enjoyed teaching, by the time Tendo was through he'd been hauled off under suspicion of being a pervert and it was only quick action from the dean that cleared the matter up. The man now taught at the all boys' school a quick train ride away; apparently he could still move his arm too.

"Negi-kun will be glad for that." Shizuna noted with a smile "He was getting drained having to handle classes and PE as well."

Tendo's nostrils flared at her colleagues words "You let a MAN take MY class?" she snapped "Haven't you learned from the last time they can't be trusted?"

Seruhiko snorted, in actual fact the girls had enjoyed the lessons a lot more since Tendo-sensei had been incapacitated, though it was mostly because Negi was so darn adorable. Unfortunately, his snort wasn't missed and he soon found himself looking up at the enraged features of Tendo Akane.

"You find something amusing Seruhiko?" the temperamentally challenged instructor snapped, the bishounen sensei lowering his head "I didn't think so."

"Tendo-san." Touko-sensei called out from the doorway, frowning at her volatile colleague dissapprovingly "The dean wishes to have a word with you."

Tendo-sensei frowned, before nodding at the bespectacled woman "We'll discuss this later." she promised Shizuna, who merely smiled as she watched her go.

"I don't know how you put up with her." Nita muttered, taking a swig of whisky from a flask he kept in his jacket for just such purposes, passing it around the room.

"She isn't that bad." Shizuna insisted, though her smile was a little strained as she tapped the files on her desk "She's just…had it rough."

"I dare say that fiancé of hers had it rougher." Akashi-sensei muttered, earning a meaningful look from the woman, to which he nodded silently, passing the flask to Seruhiko. Tendo-sensei's former engagement was a sore topic to address, literally. Those who did bring it up normally walked away with bruises, if they could still walk at all.

* * *

_With Kuwabara..._

'Eva-chan seems a little more lively than usual.' Kuwabara noted, walking just ahead of the duo, attaché case over one shoulder and his white coat under his arm 'And is it just me or was she looking at me funny?'

He looked over his shoulder and shivered as he crossed gazes with the petite blonde, a wry smile tugging at her lips. No doubt about it, she WAS looking at him funny! He shivered as he felt her gaze boring into the back of his neck the entire way to school. It only let up after he had escorted them to class, and only because she'd gone in ahead of him.

Sighing in relief at the drop in tension, he bowed in response to Chachamaru's and, with a slight blush, accepted the bento she'd prepared for him, scratching his head in embarrassment. 'You'd think we were dating.' He muttered, shoving that thought aside sharply as soon as he thought it 'I mean FAMILLY! Yeah! Like she was giving her Aniki his lunch before going to work…god I need help.'

His sixth sense flared and he ducked to avoid a flying kick from Ku Fei, who pouted at being caught again as she landed on the ground, before smiling up at him expectantly. "Sensei ready fight now?" she asked, moving into a crane stance "I waiting for challenge Aru!"

"Ku-san I told you already that I don't fight girls." Kuwabara reminded her in exasperation "It goes against my code to hit a woman, even in self defense."

"That's a bit old fashioned of you sensei, de gozaru." Kaede noted, leaning against the wall with her smile in place "Most of the world best assassins are women de gozaru yo."

"And one of the strongest masters in the world is a woman I know." Kuwabara replied, earning a few blinks as he fixed his collar "That still doesn't change the fact that I don't hit, and never WILL hit, a girl."

"No fun Aru." Ku pouted, dropping out of stance with a dissapointed frown "Want fight real challenge, but no fun if don't fight back."

"Sorry." Kuwabara offered, not really apologetic but not wanting to drag things on "You girls should get to class soon, the bells about to go."

The two girls nodded, Ku sending him a last pouting look before skipping off after Kaede.

* * *

_Elsewhere..._

"I hear that the dean hired that yakuza dropout as a sensei." Tendo-sensei noted in annoyance, "What on earth is that old man thinking?"

'Probably the same thing he did when he hired YOU.' Touko sensei thought to herself, face decidedly neutral as she led the temperamental woman to the dean's office. She'd heard nothing but good about the rough-looking man and was not about to let the opinion of a biased immature gorilla affect her judgment.

* * *

_With Kuwabara..._

Kuwabara sighed, walking down the hall somberly. The look Ku had shot at him reminded him WAY too much of a little hungry kitten that had been denied a treat, and it made him feel like a heel. 'Can't be helped.' He reasoned 'Even if I held back I couldn't bring myself to hit her.' He shivered as he recalled how strong she'd been 'And holding back would've been suicide against someone that skilled.'

With these thoughts in mind he was making his way past the infirmary when he literally bumped into a frantic Ako. "Sensei!" the blue haired nurse exclaimed, looking up at him desperately as he helped her to her feet "Daihen desu! Makie-san is…she's-!"

"Calm down Izumi-san!" he insisted, placing a calming hand on her shoulder "Now tell me what happened."

Ako proceeded to fill him in on the normally perky gymnast's status. She blinked as she noticed Kuwabara's face shift from concerned to grim, settling into a determined frown as she finished off. 'I hate being right.' The Tantei muttered, recalling his dream with a curse "Stay with her," he instructed a distraught Ako "I'll fetch Negi-bozu."

And with that he dashed off down the corridor, brushing past an indignant Touko-sensei and some shorthaired instructor who swore at him angrily, insulting his manhood and various other aspects.

'That looked like Tendo-sensei.' Kuwabara muttered as he rounded a corner 'Man what a bitch…and she don't half nag either.' He broke out of his musings as he caught sight of 2A, slamming the door open and sticking his head in. "Oi Negi! You he-ERK!"

The last thing Kuwabara remembered was the sight of the denizens of 2A in their underwear and a cry of "PERVERT!" from behind before a barbell connected with the back of his skull, courtesy of an enraged Tendo-sensei.

* * *

_With Negi..._

Negi was returning from his embarrassed dash down the hallway after the mishap with Shizuna earlier to hear the telltale signs of a riot in full swing. He gaped as he realized that the door to 2A, where the girls were currently being measured for uniforms, was open and dashed forwards, wondering if someone had walked in on them only to gape at the scene before him.

Kuwabara was curled on the floor covering his head whilst a shorthaired woman in a tracksuit stood over him, screaming obscenities and occasionally taking a kick at the downed man. The girls of 2A were backed against the walls, staring at the professor with looks of pity but too scared to step forward.

"FILTHY DISGUSTING PERVERT!" the woman screeched, stamping on the man for emphasis "I KNEW WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE ALLOWED MALE TEACHERS HERE! THEY TRY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY!"

"A-ano…" Nodoka spoke out, raising a hand timidly "S-sensei didn't know about measurement day…he came here looking for Negi-!"

"DON'T YOU INTERRUPT ME WHEN I'M LECTURING!" Tendo-sensei snapped, shooting the timid girl a glare "IT'S ATTITUDES LIKE YOURS THAT ENCOURAGE SCUM LIKE THIS," she kicked the man in the stomach "TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF WOMEN!"

"Please stop this!" Negi called out, grabbing onto the woman's arm as she reared back to land a blow with the now dented barbell "Kuwabara-san didn't mean it!"

"GET OFF ME YOU LITTLE BRAT!" Tendo-sensei snapped, backhanding the boy, eliciting a series of gasps from the class. "WHAT ARE YOU ALL STARING AT?" She snapped "HE GRABBED ME! WHEN SOMEONE GRABS YOU, STRIKE BACK! HARD!"

"Negi-sensei was trying to stop you from killing someone!" Konoka insisted, dashing forwards to check on the boy "You didn't have to hit him so hard!"

Tendo Akane seethed in righteous anger. What right did this little slip of a girl have to tell her how to discipline perverts? She'd gone after the one on the floor when he bumped into her without uttering an apology, only to find him peering in on the girls! And then when she was punishing him this brat had the audacity to grab her!

What was the dean thinking? Yakuza rejects and prepubescent children? The man had gone mad for certain! All the more reason that men should not be allowed anywhere near an all girls' school! And now it seemed his granddaughter had inherited his madness! She was DEFENDING the perverts from her righteous wrath!

"DON'T YOU TALK BACK TO ME!" the temperamental P.E teacher snapped, raising her hand to slap the girl, unaware of Setsuna drawing her blade behind her, only to freeze as a grip like an iron vice wrapped around her wrist. She gazed back in fury to see the pervert from before on his feet and gripping her wrist, whirling round in an attempt to kick him in the crotch, only to gasp as the grip tightened, the bones in her wrist cracking.

"Teachers…" The man's voice ground out, slow and mildly concussed, yet underlined with a type of anger that could reduce a city to ruins "Don't...Hit…Students."

"UNHAND ME YOU PERVERT!" Akane screamed at him, kicking out at his crotch only to blanch as a wave of complete, unadulterated fury washed over her and the rest of the class.

* * *

_With Eva..._

Evangeline's eyes widened, gazing at Kuwabara's face in fascination. His eyes were dazed, doubtless from the blow to the head he'd suffered while his guard was down, and the trickle of blood running down his skull made it clear he probably had a concussion. So it was little surprise that the man wasn't in full control of himself, and his emotions were wafting off of him in waves along with his power, a faint blue glow surrounding him, invisible to the untrained eye.

She'd known he was strong, she could sense these things in people, but he'd always held that power in check with an almost phenomenal amount of control. Now, with his wits addled by the blow, that power was leaking out with his anger, and the sheer amount of power was sending her vampiric blood into rapture.

"Master." Chachamaru opined, drawing her attention "Sensors indicate a power rating equivalent to that of an A class demon."

Evangeline felt an eyebrow cock at this. A Class? That was rare in this day and age, the last time she'd sensed anyone with that level of power was when Nagi sparred against a man named Sensui eighteen years ago.

* * *

_With Chao..._

Chao Lingshen swallowed as she felt the power wash over her, feeling uncertain of herself in the first time since, well, ever.

She was strong, true, and a genius to boot, but not even she had the gall to pick a fight with a demon of A class ranking. They were rare enough in her own time that they hardly ever showed up, but when they did it was to challenge other A ranks to a fight.

She'd been privy to see such a fight once; it still gave her goose bumps at night, all that power flying through the air with nothing to stop it. Of course she was well aware that A rank was only the tip of the proverbial iceberg, but Demons of S rank never frequented Ningenkai, simply because their power was too strong for the physics of the world.

Such was the case now. Kuwabara had been almost unconscious when Tendo 'the bitchinator' Akane-sensei had started ranting on about cowardly perverts. 'The nerve.' The genius scoffed wryly 'calling him a coward after attacking him from behind.'

Needless to say most men would be dead from a barbell to the noggin, it was a marvel Kuwabara was even standing. However, the blow had obviously left him concussed, meaning he didn't have his usual restraint. The white of Tendo's face as her wrist cracked ominously was a dead giveaway.

She dimly noted that Kaede, Ku, Setsuna and Mana were eyeing the man warily, ready to leap forward and restrain him if he got any worse. She also noted the intrigued look in the eyes of Evangeline. 'You should feel flattered sensei.' She noted wryly 'Not many people catch the attention of the Undying Magi…fewer still survive to know about it.'

* * *

_With Kuwabara..._

Kuwabara honestly couldn't tell up from down at that moment, he'd dimly recalled the insults as the woman pummeled him, his reiki healing most of the damage as soon as it had landed but the blow to the head made it hard to concentrate.

A hand landed on the Tantei's shoulder, causing him to look dazedly into the calm features of Takahata. Another set of hands, belonging to Shizuna-sensei gently pried his hand off of Tendo's wrist, the stricken woman backing away, clutching it and hissing.

"Did you see that?" the Physical Instructor demanded "That ape attacked me! He near broke my wrist because I caught him spying on the girls!"

"Wasn' peepin'…" Kuwabara slurred, head feeling heavy and dizzy as Takahata supported him with his shoulder "Came fer…Negi…"

"LIES!" Tendo shrieked, pointing at the girls for emphasis "Look at them! He's fair traumatized them! I demand this man be removed from his position as soon as-!"

"Tendo-sensei?" Takahata cut in sharply, his features neutral "Shut up." While the woman gawked at him in outrage he turned to the girls "What happened."

Akane glared at the girls, causing them to wince, too scared of her wrath should they speak up, only for a spokesman to turn up in the most unlikely of forms.

"Kuwabara sensei entered the room at approximately 09:35 hours." Chachamaru noted, oddly enough the only girl decently clothed "He called out for Negi-sensei, only to stare in shock at us, as we had just finished undressing. Tendo-sensei then screamed 'pervert' and struck him on the back of a head with the barbell currently lying on the floor."

Takahata followed the gynoid's gaze to locate the weapon in question, shooting a cold look at a quivering Tendo-sensei as Chachamaru continued.

"Tendo-sensei thus proceeded to attack Kuwabara-sensei while he lay on the floor, accusing him of being a coward and a pervert." the Gynoid stated in her usual, matter-of-fact tone "When Negi sensei attempted to intervene she hit him with the back of her hand." she nodded to the downed ten-year-old "Konoe-san attempted to reason with her only for Tendo-sensei to threaten to hit her. Kuwabara-sensei had by this time gotten to his feet and stopped her from striking Konoe-san when you arrived."

Everything was silent for a moment, Akane glaring at Chachamaru for speaking out, while Takahata eyed the injured woman coldly. Shizuna was currently checking up on a shaky Negi, who was just coming round from the blow.

"You aren't going to believe this…this CRAP are you?" Akane demanded, the violent educator shooting a glare at Chachamaru "I've had nothing but the best interest for these girls since I got here!"

"Then why do they look at you in fear?" an aged voice spoke out, the dean stepping into view from behind Takahata, the usual genial air he gave off gone, replaced with a professional grimness. "No Akane-kun, the only interests you've been acting in are your own. I consented to grant you a teaching position here at Shizuna-kun's request, I thought it would help you forget your disaster of an engagement." He eyed her solemnly "I see now that I was wrong."

"Shizuna!" Akane called out, turning to regard her female colleague, arms spread wide and imploring, a stark contrast to the anger on her face "You believe me don't you?"

"I want to Akane-san." Shizuna admitted, looking at her sadly "I truly wanted to believe that Kasumi-chan's sister was a good little girl." She looked from the recovering Negi to the dazed Kuwabara "But I'm sorry, you've gone too far this time."

"YOU'RE ALL AGAINST ME!" the woman shrieked, lunging forwards with her fist drawn back at Takamichi, earning a gasp from the class, only to collapse on the floor, unconscious.

"I never did like her." Touko sensei muttered, lowering her hand with a sigh as she regarded her colleagues "The police have been notified."

"Arigatou, Touko-kun." Dean Konoemon offered solemnly "I'm afraid the only facility I can recommend Tendo-sensei for is the local asylum, solitary confinement at least." He sighed and turned to regard the listless form of Kuwabara "Take him to the infirmary, Takamichi-kun."

"Wait…" Kuwabara managed to get out, eyes half shut as he reached out to Negi with a limp fingered hand "Negi…Makie…trouble…"

"Makie-san?" Negi repeated, looking at the concussed man in alarm as the class' ears perked up "What happened to her, Kuwabara-san?"

"Trouble…" Kuwabara insisted listlessly, vision swimming in and out of focus as he fought to retain consciousness "Nurse Room…out cold…black cloak…Fangs."

The last thing the Tantei heard was Negi calling out and then the darkness claimed him.

* * *

Cue Nadesico music

Oh no! Kuwabara has fallen!

Chisame: Again?

His students a thrown into discord!

Asuna: DWAH? WHY'RE you all Naked?

Ganbare girls! give sensei your love.

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: Angels in nothin; love heals all!

Haruna: Nurse Paru will heal you sensei (Grins evilly) Just lie there for a momemnt...kukukukukuku!

R&R or be fed to Younger Toguro.

Toguro: I'll crush dem wit my bah-lging mah-scles!


	13. Chapter 13

Some new plot development headed your way, so enjoy!

* * *

13th period.

"Kuwabara-san!" Negi called out, rushing towards the man as he sagged, only for Takamichi to prop him up with a grunt.

"He's okay, just out cold." The unshaken instructor assured his young friend, smiling down at the boy placatingly "I'll see to it that he gets looked at, you better go check on Makie-kun."

Negi blinked, before nodding, dashing out the door, shortly followed by the more hyperactive denizens of 3A. "Hey!" Touko-sensei yelled after them, flushing in exasperation "At least put your clothes on first!"

"Young kids today." Takamichi chuckled, before shooting a secret look at the dean, who nodded. They had both caught the last bit of Kuwabara's words, and were already putting two and two together.

'It seems you're a bigger asset to the school than I imagined,' the dean noted somberly as Takamichi carried the limp form away 'Kuwabara-kun.'

* * *

_With Eva..._

Evangeline watched as Takamichi carried the recumbent form away with a wary glance. She'd caught the tail end of her roommate's speech, more specifically the reference to her vampire outfit and fangs.

'How could he know?' she wondered, 'I know for a fact he was nowhere near Cherry Blossom Avenue last night…could Sasaki have…' she shook herself 'No, even if she DID possess memory of the incident my magic would effectively ensure she doesn't remember it.'

"Master." Chachamaru opined, as she finished dressing the petite vampire "What shall we do?"

Evangeline was silent, waiting for the rest of the class to get out of earshot before walking over to the barbell and trying to lift it, grunting at the weight. 'How does that gorilla woman lift these every day?' she wondered hefting it up and eyeing the dent in the side with amusement 'He has a thick head at least.' She noted, trailing a finger over a patch of blood and taking a taste.

A rush ran up her body as soon as the coppery liquid touched her tongue, her eyes widening at the brief surge she felt in her magic, only to slump as it faded as quickly as it came.

'Well now.' She noted with a startled smirk even as Chachamaru rushed to her side 'It seems Kuwabara-sensei may prove useful after all…'

* * *

_With the class..._

"Kaede." Ku whispered, catching the Koga ninja's attention as they walked at the back of the row making its way towards the nurse's office "You sense power right?"

Kaede nodded, she HAD felt it. She didn't doubt people all the way over in Kanto felt the sheer amount of power rising off of Kuwabara-sensei at that moment. As a child she'd been exposed to many threats, attaining the rank of chunin in her early teens and was currently working towards jounin status. Never had she felt such underlying power, never had she imagined a person could wield so much power. She doubted anyone at Mahora but Evangeline could stand against that much power.

Which left her in a bit of a quandary; why did Kuwabara-sensei hold that power so tightly in check? With strength like that he could have disarmed her and Ku when they challenged him on the rooftops, but instead…

* * *

_flashback no jutsu!_

_"Why no fight back Aru?" Ku Fei demanded, launching a punch that Kuwabara barely managed to block "You no think I worth challenge?"_

"_I don't fight girls!" Kuwabara repeated "It's got nothing ta do with worthy! I ain't the type of guy that hits women!"_

"_That's the wrong attitude to take in these situations, sensei." Kaede chastised, and launched several stiletto knives at him. They slashed his coat but he refused to retaliate, backing up until they had him cornered against a wall._

_Ku lunged forwards, a punch that could put a dent in the door of a hummer launching right at her sensei, who merely crossed his arms in a pitifully open block…_

* * *

_Flashback no jutsu: Kai!_

'Of course!' Kaede realized, head titling slightly in amazement 'He didn't use it because he's never received any proper training!'

"What did you note about his fighting style?" she asked the Chinese transfer student who frowned, titling her head to the side, eyes closed in serious contemplation.

"No style, street fighting, brawler at most." Ku admitted sounding unimpressed "But strong, and tough, take many blows to wind him aru."

"True enough." Kaede agreed with a thoughtfull frown. This wouldn't do at all; someone with Kuwabara-sensei's level of power running about untrained could be a hazard to both himself and the people around him. True today had probably been the only time he'd lost control of his powers but the fact was their sensei's naïve view of the world and lack of training and discipline were going to lead him down the path to self destruction.

She caught the eye of Setsuna, who nodded, looking away sharply to keep her eyes trained on Konoka. The Shinmeiryu warrior still couldn't shake the feeling of awe she'd felt when Kuwabara's control had slipped. She'd been so shocked she'd actually dropped Yunagi, so the man had ironically saved Tendo-sensei's life from her attempt on Konoka.

The only person she could think off that had ever inspired such instinctual reaction in her was the demon sword of Kyoto herself, Aoyama Tsuruko, and even then it was more of a gut wrenching terror compared to the sheer amount of awe being bathed in Kuwabara's aura had inspired.

'Strong yet unreliant on that strength.' She noted 'He carries himself like a mere brawler but his code of honor is as great as one of the Shinmeiryu elders'.' She recalled the anger in his voice as he kept Tendo from striking ojou-sama, and how he refused to strike the possessed Eiko in order to extract the demon not too long ago. 'Then there's his ki blade.' She noted, which in her opinion was a greater mystery 'The level of control it would require to fashion such a weapon out of raw ki, despite its rough form, is quite an achievement!'

Eishun-sama would have to be informed of this she decided, a warrior with that much potential at the academy could go a long way towards protecting Ojou-sama from those fanatics in the Kansai Magical Association.

* * *

_Meanwhile, thousands of miles away..._

"Genkai-shihan?" Yukina called out, looking for the aged psychic in earnest confusion and concern, her eyes wide "Where are you?"

"I'm right here child." Genkai replied, calling out to the koorime from the porch, "it seems that dimwitted suitor of yours got himself into trouble."

"Kazuma-kun's in trouble?" Yukina wondered, concern for her strange, clumsy friend in her beautiful red eyes. little did she know all she;d have to do was show up and the man would recover in an instant.

Ah, the wonders of love.

"Nothing serious,"Genkai assured the Koorime "but he let his guard down around one of the worst examples of bad parenting in the history of mankind." she scoffed, tossing a cigarette butt into a nearby trash bin "I don't know, here I am thinking I can finally enjoy some peace and quiet and then some idiot goes and does something stupid."

"Genkai-shihan?" Yukina wondered, looking at the aged reiki master in confusion as she walked to the phone, a frown on her aged features.

"Get dressed Yukina," the psychic called out "We're going to take a little trip."

* * *

_Dean's office..._

Konoe Konoemon sighed as he sank into his chair, wondering why the hell he was still doing this job. He should have retired ages ago, but that would mean abandoning his post as elder of the Kanto magic association, and he didn't trust any of the other mages to follow in his example. He was just pondering the idea of naming NEGI his successor when the phone on his desk rang, distracting him from his thoughts. "Mahora Gakuen, deans office." He greeted tiredly.

"Sounds like those old bones of yours are finally wearing down Konoe."

Konoemon froze, sitting up ramrod straight at the sound of that voice "Genkai-chan?" he stammered, flinching at the growl over the line "Erm…Genkai-san! What a pleasant surprise!"

"Can the pleasantries you old pervert." Genkai ground out, though there was a tinge of humor in her tone "I'm calling because a mutual acquaintance of ours just got his head smashed in."

"Ah," Konoemon noted, nodding solemnly at her words "You mean Kuwabara-kun, let me assure you he's being well cared for."

"Don't bother with reassurances." Genkai shot back, chuckling "If a blow to the head could kill the baka he'd have died years ago. I'm calling to let you know I'll be paying you a visit in a few days."

"Hoh?" Konoemon chuckled, preening his beard in interest as he raised an eyebrow "Finally taking me up on that marriage proposal I offered are we?"

"I wonder if it's possible to blast someone with reiki over the phone." Genkai replied in a low growl "Care to help me find out, Konoe?"

"Dully noted." Konoemon sighed; shaking his head in mock hurt, quite used to such threats to his person from the aged master "Shall I book a hotel room for you?"

"And for a girl that will be accompanying me." Genkai replied, her voice normal again "Bye for now, and give my regards to Eishun."

"I will." Konoemon noted, sighing as he hung up the phone. Reaching under his desk he pulled out a drawer, in which lay a framed photo, which he lifted out.

Immortalised in the frame stood five people, Three men and two woman, one was a giant with short black hair and a black Gi, a second man with scraggly grey hair trailing down his back hanging off his shoulder. The third man could have been mistaken for his son, Eishun, save for the fact the hair was longer and he wore onmyo robes. A woman in a black pullover, grey jeans and boots stood next to him, bearing a striking resemblance to the owner of a certain teashop in Hinata city. And at the very front stood a petite girl with bright pink hair, tied back in a braid that fell down her back.

'So many years.' He wondered idly, sighing as he recalled the fall of the first two from grace 'And now only three remain.'

* * *

_Infirmary..._

Most people, on waking up, accelerate through a quick panicky pre-consciousness check up: Who am I, where am I, who is/are he/she/they, good God why am I cuddling a policeman's helmet, _what happened last night?_

Kuwabara, on waking up, let out a dull moan as he tried to sit up, abandoning that course of action as his head ached. He gingerly cracked an eye open to take in his surroundings, his room in the cabin he shared with Eva and Chachamaru, just as said student walked in, dressed in a maid outfit that would have earned quite a few looks from several people he knew.

"Ah, you're awake sensei." Chachamaru greeted, walking forwards and setting a tray on the desk, before helping him sit up in bed "Please rest, the wound was quite severe."

Kuwabara fought the urge to nod, knowing it would likely split his head open, letting the green haired girl change his wrappings and sheets, before looking at the bowl she'd brought in with her. "Satsuki-san sent this over for you." Chachamaru offered, placing the tray before him, a bowl of some fine-smelling soup, dumplings and meat buns set on it "She says it's perfect for getting you back on your feet."

'If it tastes as good as it smells I wouldn't doubt her.' Kuwabara noted, warding of the girl's attempts to feed him as he took spoon in hand and ate away. It was quite possibly the most delicious soup he'd ever tasted, and to his surprise he soon found himself staring at an empty bowl.

"So how's the patient?" Takamichi called out, smiling as entered the room "welcome back Kuwabara-kun, you had us worried yesterday."

"I've been out a whole day?" Kuwabara muttered, looking at the man in confusion. Sure it wasn't anything new, he'd passed out after Mitari spilled the beans too, but that still didn't cease to come as a shock.

"'fraid so." Takamichi chuckled, lighting up one of his cigarettes despite Chachamaru's blank stare "a lot happened too, seems Nodoka-Kun was attacked last night."

"Nodoka-san?" Kuwabara yelped, sitting up straighter in concern before getting out of bed, the tray clattering to the floor in his haste "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Sensei, you need your rest." Chachamaru insisted, only to blink as the man tossed his vest in her direction, pulling out his clothes like a madman.

"I can rest after I make sure my students are alright!" Kuwabara called out, dashing out the door with the gynoid and a concerned Sayo on his heals.

'So he's the type that rises to the occasion when others are in trouble.' Takamichi noted with a smile, watching as the injured man ran down the path from the window 'Good for you, Kuwabara-kun.'

"Sensei I must insist that you return to your room." Chachamaru opined, catching up with the exhausted man as he leaned against the wall of the campus. She had changed into her school uniform before leaving, and was amazed that he'd gotten this far, a blow to the head like the one he'd received should have left him in a coma. Could this be what her databanks referred to as 'willpower'?

"And I will," Kuwabara panted, shaking his head tenderly "After I make sure my students are alright." He blinked as his sixth sense alerted him to an approaching presence, staring as he espied a ninja and what looked to be Okochi Akira carrying a distinctly Negi-shaped bundle down the corridor. The mage's staff, familiar green suit and squeals were a dead give-away. "BOZU!" he yelped, tiredness gone instantly has he galloped after the duo "Hang on I'm coming!"

He used his sixth sense to cut a head of them, only for them to duck into the bath hall. Thinking he had them cornered, the injured sensei followed, gaping as he noticed Negi's suit lying in a pile near the doorway. 'SHIT!' he swore, running in without thinking, "GET YOUR HANDS OF NEGI YOU KIDNAPPING-!"

"Kuwabara-san?"

The tantei trailed off, blinking in confusion at the sight of a confused Negi, who was sitting in what had to be the biggest indoor onsen the man had ever seen. "What in the heck's goin' on here Bozu?" the man asked, "And how long has this place been here?"

"Ano this is the bath hall for the dorm." Negi replied, looking all the more confused "But how did I get here? One minute I'm walking with Asuna-san and the next-!"

"SURPRISE!" several voices yelled, the two males whipping round to gape at the denizens of 2A in a variety of swimsuits. The fanfare died down as the girls took in the startled form of Kuwabara, before Ayaka rounded on Kaede like a wildcat. "Nagase-san!" she chided, looking mortified "I thought I told you to make sure you weren't followed!"

"Looks like Sessha made a mistake de gozaru." Kaede noted cheerfully, rubbing the back of her head in a way that only seemed to emphasize the size of her bust.

"Erm…I'll just be going now." Kuwabara managed to croak out numbly, backtracking VERY slowly as he tried to recall how far the entrance was. This had improper conduct written all over it...and the fact he was searching with his eyes closed wasn;t making things easier.

"Sensei join too Aru!" Ku Fei called out, kicking the injured man in the back and sending him flying forwards with a scream, landing amidst the giggling Narutaki twins.

"OW! Hey!" Kuwabara yelped, splashing about as the girls swoped in on him "What's the big I-ACK! NO! STOP! THOSE ARE MY PANTS! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

_With Negi..._

Negi shivered in terror at his comrade's screams, wondering if he should make a break for it only for Ayaka to swoop down on him like some cheerful shotacon angel of death. "I suppose we could include Kuwabara-sensei in this little party." She sighed, pouring her 'beloved negi-sensei' some Amazake as she tried to blot out the screams "After all, he's been such a support to you Negi-sensei."

"Hey Negi-kun!" Makie called out, looking none the worse from her encounter with Evangeline "Let me wash your hair for you!"

"I'll scrub your back!" Sakurako called out, the other girls clamoring around the suddenly nervous boy.

"Well I've got the front!" Misa called out, starting a riot as the girls fought over the privilege to bathe the ten year old, or rather certain parts of him.

"HIEEE!" Kuwabara yelped out, running past the boy's field of vision, stripped to his boxers and running desperately away from a cackling Haruna.

"Sensei!" the manga-ka called out evilly, as she wielded her waterproof sketchbook and pens like totrute implements "You won't escape this time!"

"Surrender Sensei!" the Narutakis cackled, Ku Fei launching after him whilst Kaede watched from a distance, face set in a neutral smile "There's no escape!"

'Uh guys, I think we have a serious sexual harassment thing going on here, y'know?' was the thought of one Hasegawa Chisame, the oft, make that frequently ignored voice of reason in the madness that was 3A, a trembling Nodoka at her side watching the latest outbreak in abject terror.

At that moment a series of gasps sounded over by Negi's area, Makie, Ako and Sakurako chastising the confused ten year old for copping feels. Makie let out a particularly surprised squeal before jabbing her hand into the water, blinking as she realized several things.

One, her hand was currently placed between Negi's legs. Two, whatever she was holding was long and thick, and decidedly hairy. She said as much out loud, lifting the thing into view amidst a group of baited breathed onlookers, blinking numbly at the beady little eyes set in a furry face. "ACK! A MOUSE!" was the general outcry, the girls scattering like pins as the rodent leapt in pursuit.

Kuwabara barely had time to catch his breath before realizing that there was something highly irregular about the pest. For one it was making it its life's work to liberate the girls of their swimwear. Now they may be a pain in the rear, and they did chase him around an onsen in a way that would have gotten him in trouble, but they were HIS students and he'd be damned if some perverted rat preyed on them.

Thus it was much to the shock of the furry projectile that when the time came to liberate Konoka and Nodoka of their swimsuits it collided with a flat, muscular, decidedly MASCULINE chest. No sooner had it realized this did Kuwabara grab the thing and hurl it into the air, grabbing a nearby broom and sending the perverted ball of vermin energy out of the park with a Teikyo High Two-Run Walk-Off Homer.

The baseball theme jingled in the background, whilst Ako, Yuna and the cheerleaders held up signs with the words 'HOME RUN!' displayed across them.

"Sensei-Sugoi!" Konoka praised, looking at the hole in the widow where the furry pervert had vanished "That one went outta the park!"

"Heh, baseball was always my favorite sport!" Kuwabara boasted, only to blink as blood sprayed from the back of his head, followed by collapsing face first onto a startled Nodoka's shoulder.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HONYA-CHAN!" Came a shriek as Asuna leapt through the air in a flying kick, sending the man sprawling before blinking at the blood in the water "Eh? Wait, was that…Kuwabara-sensei?" she blinked, eyeing her nude classmates and Negi with a numb expression "What the hell? You put on a strip show for them?"

"Asuna-san! It isn't like that!"

* * *

_The Infirmary...again..._

Kuwabara awoke to the startling realization that he'd been tucked into a bed in the nurse's room. He wasn't alone either; Botan was sitting in the chair next to him.

"Honestly Kuwa-kun the things you get up to!" the ferry-girl exclaimed, huffing slightly "Running around in an underground labyrinth, letting off a burst of reiki that startled several reikai operatives in the area and now running around an onsen with your students? And I thought Yusuke was trouble."

Sayo looked down at him concernedly from her spot over the bluenette's shoulder, smiling as she saw he was all right. "Don't go comparing me to Urameshi." Kuwabara countered, sitting up stiffly "I'm not anything like him."

"You're right," a familiar aged voice chuckled "the baka would have milked that situation for everything he was worth."

Kuwabara blinked at the sight of a familiar, aged face at the foot of his bed, dressed in her usual red and green over dress with pink leggings. "Genkai-baasan?" he noted in surprise "What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you DON'T do something stupid like what happened yesterday again." Genkai replied with a smirk, walking towards the bed "I felt that burst of power all the way at my temple, so did the others, if it weren't for me telling them I'd handle it they'd be in here crowding you."

"Thanks." Kuwabara offered gratefully, the last thing he needed was Yusuke crowing about how he'd gotten owned by a shaved gorilla, as he'd come to regard Tendo-sensei.

"Don't thank me yet, we've got quite a bit of work to do." Genkai muttered, placing a hand to his head and focusing her reiki. In days gone by she could have healed him up in an instant, but in passing her power to Yusuke she now had to rely on more subtle methods, namely borrowing some of Kuwabara's own reiki to mend the wound.

The tantei gave it freely, knowing firsthand that Genkai preferred not having to exert herself these days and that the healing would go much faster. Sure enough the wound healed over, the bone fusing back together and the dent in his head reverting to normal.

"You'll need to stay in bed for tonight but you should be up by morning." Genkai informed him, nodding to Botan and a shocked Sayo "We're staying at the hotel just off campus, here's the address."

"We?" Kuwabara repeated, noting the playful look on Botan's face and feeling his heart soar "Yukina-chan came to see me?"

Genkai poked a point on his neck and the man passed out, snoring peacefully, the silly grin still on his face. "No matter how many times I see that it still creeps me out." She admitted, gesturing for Botan to follow her, taking the memorial tablet so Sayo had to follow, leaving the recovering man to his dreams.

* * *

Cue Nadesico music

Love conquers all!

Genkai: Who the hell are you?

But the brave warrior cannot claim his love without passing the crones test!

Genkai: Crone am I?

Narrator: Huh? No wait-argh! that doesn't go there! HELP!

(CRUNCH)

Botan: Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: Training; youthful fires burn bright!

Yukina: Kazuma-kun, be carefull okay?

R&R, or Karasu will blow you up.


	14. Chapter 14

And so Kuwabara finally gets round to getting some proper training...but will Eva's plans cut into his strawberry time?

HEAVEN OR HELL?

LET'S RAWK!

* * *

14th period.

Evangeline blinked as she watched Kuwabara skip down the stairs, humming a song off key and reeking of cologne. She envied Chachamaru for her lack of any functional sense of smell because the man had put on enough to blind a tramp. "Big date today sensei?" she asked coyly, hoping to fluster the man as was the norm, only to gape at the cheerful smile she was rewarded with.

"How'd you guess Eva-chan?" Kuwabara replied, missing the spasm the blonde suffered from being reffered to so affectionately "Oh it is such a beautiful day! I feel like singing!"

"Please don't." Evangeline muttered, the beginnings of a headache forming, if his humming was bad she didn't want to know what his singing could do to her vampiric hearing. Kuwabara ignored her and virtually skipped out the front door, singing and laughing the whole way.

"Master," Chachamaru called out, startling the undying magi from her thoughts "Are you perhaps…upset by this current development?"

"Have you gone mad?" Eva spluttered, looking aghast at the idea "What is there to see in that oaf other than a brainless Neanderthal with a lot of power?"

* * *

_With Kuwabara..._

Kuwabara hummed as he made his way down the street in the tram, leaping off and making his way to a flower stand, purchasing an impressive bouquet of roses for his beloved. Skipping up the steps to their room, he knelt forward as the door opened, eyes shut and flowers held before him "For you my beloved!"

"Cute." Genkai noted dryly, smirking as Kuwabara's eyes snapped open in embarrassment "But trust me, you aren't my type, baka."

Kuwabara choked as he was led inside, trying to offer an apology only for the love of his life to step into the room, wearing a jacket and a pink dress, her hair tied back in a braid. "Kazuma-kun!" She greeted with a bright smile that always reduced the man to putty, as it did now "You're okay!"

"But of course!" Kuwabara insisted, getting to his feet and posing before her like a bodybuilder "Your warrior of love won't be taken down that easy!"

"Funny, according to Botan those students of yours manage to get the better of you almost every time." Genkai snorted, earning a flush from the man.

"That's only when they get out of control!" Kuwabara countered, planning to get even with a certain blue-haired shinnigami in the near future "And besides, what else could I do when they attack me?"

"I dunno, fight back?" Genkai replied sarcastically sighing at the mule-headed look in the Tantei's eyes "Kuwabara I'm not saying you take your hand to women who can't fight back but you have to get over this outdated chivalry thing of yours before you get yourself killed."

"Real men don't hit women." Kuwabara insisted, clenching his fists as she shook her head at him "And what's this got to do with me coming to see you anyways?"

Genkai sighed, walking over to a seat and sinking into it, Kuwabara sitting across from her while Yukina went to make snacks "Kuwabara, now that you've been made Reikai Tantei things are only going to get harder for you." She began "Not all the demons agreed with the outcome of the tournament, in fact were it not for their fear of Yusuke and Mukuro they'd be swarming us en masse since the barrier dropped."

Kuwabara swallowed, the dropping of the barrier had always been a sore topic for him and Yusuke and Kurama's assurances still didn't put his mind at rest. The fact that HIEI, of all people, who for as long as the man remembered hated the human world with a passion, was acting as a patrolman to keep it safe didn't make things any better.

"As such if you hope to survive as tantei," Genkai continued "you're going to have to let go of those childish ideals of yours that have been keeping you from reaching your full potential."

"I don't hit girls and there's nothing childish about that!" Kuwabara shot back, only to be silenced by her look, which had been knwon to make war veterans cry for mommy in her prime.

"I understand that," Genkai assured the young man before her "and several generations ago that may have counted for something, but the fact is that not all demons that come through the barrier are testosterone powered muscle heads like Toguro, quite a few of them are female, need I remind you that Mukuro herself is a woman?"

Kuwabara was silent, but the aged psychic could see stubbornness in those eyes of his. "Had Mukuro not changed as much as she has she'd have marched through and begun blasting everything in sight," she reminded him "what would you have done then?"

"Stop her of course!" Kuwabara shot back, slapping his knee for emphasis "I mean there's not much I can do about it if the world's at stake!"

"Then the fact is that when push comes to shove you shove," Genkai noted "but the problem is that in order for you to shove something bad has to happen, bad enough that you toss aside those ideals that bind you down." She sighed "While that may have suited in the past it's not so good now, if you hesitate to fight merely because the opponent is female you run the risk of putting yourself, and everyone you care about, at risk."

They were silent, Kuwabara staring at his hands whilst the clock ticked in the background. He looked up eventually, regarding his rival's master carefully "So did you just come here to tell me off or what?"

"In all honesty I wanted to see if you were alright." Genkai admitted, nodding as Yukina entered with some green tea and biscuits "But I'll admit that kicking your ass into shape was another pressing concern." She smirked at his surprised expression "Don't get all fussed, I'm just making sure you don't waste that potential of yours."

* * *

_Dean's office..._

"This is interesting." Konoe Eishun noted, reading the letter that had been sent to him via shikigami from Sakurazaki Setsuna, his student in the Shinmeiryuu and Onmyo-do. "For someone with such a level of power to appear on campus…and unless I miss my guess a rather famous one too."

Konoe Eishun had an impressive spy network, and as the leader of the Kansai Magic association he knew all to well the existence of demons in the world. Normally the Shinmeiryuu kept the unholy legions under control in the Kansai district, but they didn't account for the foreign ones.

The only mass global demonic event that they knew of was the infamous Ankoku Bujutsukai, the Dark Martial Arts Association, or as it was more commonly know: The Dark Tournament. A gathering of demons and corrupt humans from all over the world, teams of fighters would battle in an attempt for the ultimate prize, whatever the victors' desired.

The last winners of the tournament had been that years 'guest' team, composed of three humans and two demons that had been getting in the way of the criminal underworld. And unless Eishun missed his guess, Kuwabara Kazuma had been one of the names of the three humans that turned the tournament on its head.

"Perhaps I should meet with him." He pondered "At the very least it would help to ward off any future attempts at storming Mahora if they knew one of the tournament winners was employed there."

* * *

_With Kuwabara..._

"Urameshi actually went through THIS?" Kuwabara yelped, balancing on one finger atop a needle, channeling his reiki to the digit. He was stripped to a vest and boxers, wearing several weights on his limbs and torso.

"Not really," Genkai admitted "the only reason the weights are there is because you're a lot stronger than Yusuke was when he first attempted this method." she nodded at the small burst of reiki the man was emitting to stay atop "Your control is a lot better than the baka's at least."

While normally Kuwabara would be crowing at such praise it didn't mean much because if he did his concentration would break and he'd collapse on the needle, finger first. "Now hold that pose for twelve hours." Genkai instructed, balancing on her own needle with the tip of her shoe. "After that we'll move on to meditation, and advanced reiki refinement techniques."

"IS all of this really necessary?" Kuwabara snapped out, teeth grit to the point of cracking "I mean I've done pretty well for myself haven't I?"

"Indeed." Genkai noted, "For someone with no proper training to have lasted as long as you have is amazing, thanks in no small part to natural talent and the devils own luck." She regarded him solemnly "However, as the new Reikai tantei, in a time when the barrier between worlds has dropped, your previous skills mean little."

She flipped off the needle and landed in front of the straining man, looking down into his grimacing eyes neutrally, before walking over to a nearby boulder to watch him. The two had set up in the woods of Mahora Gakuen, in a special area roped off by the Tatsumiya shrine, only the dean could grant access to that area, not even the walking club went near it.

Nevertheless, someone WAS watching them, chuckling quietly to herself as she regarded the scene before her from the shadows of a tree.

'Interesting training regimen sensei.' Nagase Kaede noted, a nervous smile gracing her features 'I don't think even Ku's dumb enough to try something like that, de gozaru.' She sweatdropped 'Still, maybe I shouldn't tell her to be safe.'

* * *

_Later..._

It was an unusual week for the denizens of class 3A. It all started when the ever-adorable Negi-kun stumbled into class looking frantic, before spending the entire lesson slumped against his desk, looking drained and troubled, asking a flustered Ako a highly suggestive question, that had lead to the debacle of a cheer-up party.

Then Kuwabara-sensei turned up the following day looking like he'd just run a triathlon in full samurai armor; the bags under his eyes were unnerving the more excitable students. It wasn't until the man dozed off mid-lecture that the girls began to get worried.

"Kuwabara-sensei." Ayaka instructed gently, lifting the textbook from the dazed instructors hands "Maybe you should go lie down."

"But…gotta finish...duh...lesson…" Kuwabara protested dozily, before actually managing to fall asleep whilst standing up, a snot bubble exiting his nostril.

"Never a dull moment in this class huh?" Yue noted, as the Narutakis clambered over the comatose instructor like chimpanzees on a jungle gym. Quite a few of the more excitable girls were trying to sketch on his face with marker, only for Ayaka to ward them off, enlisting Mana and Kaede to carry the instructor to the nurse's office whilst she informed the dean.

"You think maybe something's going on?" Yuna wondered "I mean, first Makie and Honya-chan are attacked, then Negi-kun starts acting all weird, and now Kuwabara-sensei's acting strange!"

"More like dead on his feet than 'strange'." Kazumi replied, watching the man get carried off "Seriously, I've seen movie zombies with more life to them."

"Hey!" Sakurako asked excitedly, "You know how they said it was a vampire that attacked Honya-chan? What if Kuwabara-sensei's the vampire!"

"No way!" Haruna countered with a dismissive snort "Besides, he's been standing by the window all day, and last I checked it was pretty bright out!"

"I heard powerful vampires can survive direct sunlight." Yue noted offhandedly, as if commenting on the weather "High daylight walkers they're called."

"Yeah!" Sakurako insisted, not noticing Evangeline's sudden twitch "He didn't get to eat anything last night! So he's fading away because Honya-chan got away!"

Nodoka tried to disrepute the girl's claim, she was fairly certain it had been a FEMALE assailant the other night, even if it had been a good voice change there was simply no way outside of manga logic that Kuwabara-sensei could change his shape into that of a little girl.

But of course her efforts were to be in vain, for the riot that was 3A was already in full swing.

* * *

_With Kuwabara..._

"Now I see why Urameshi hated talking about his training." Kuwabara muttered, wincing at his stiff muscles. Genkai would train him until he'd exhausted his reiki, and then move onto physical fitness drills. Normally a good night's sleep would bring the teen at least partially back to full strength, but he found it hard getting to sleep, and the old bat had him up at dawn either way. Even after the nap he'd unwittingly taken at the campus, the Tantei felt as if his muscles were stretched taut.

'Maybe some ramen will make me feel better.' He opined, only to blink as he espied his green haired roommate walking alongside two youths towards a bridge. "Chachamaru?" he called out, the girl turning to him "What are you doing out here?"

"Master dismissed me for the evening," the girl replied "I was merely making a brief stop before going home."

Kuwabara nodded, blinking as he espied an old woman trying to get up the steps. Before Chachamaru could offer assistance, the tantei had handed her his attaché case and slung the woman onto his back, carrying her up despite his protesting muscles. "You're a very kind young man." The woman offered him thankfully "These old bones of mine truly needed a rest."

"Not a problem ma'am." Kuwabara replied, wondering why his sixth sense seemed to be reacting. Surely such a pleasant old lady couldn't be any harm?

"I have a daughter about your age." She noted, smiling at him in that manner reserved for pleasant old women no one could think ill of "A little rough around the edges but I think you two could get on fine."

Before Kuwabara could offer a word of protest his sixth sense took a proverbial leap, drawing his attention to a young slip of a girl with black hair and gothic Lolita dress standing at the foot of the steps before him. In her arms was a long eared cat with a bell, and at her feet two traveling cases. "Obaa-sama." She greeted, nodding to the woman on Kuwabara's back, "We should go if we hope to catch our plane."

"But of course Kanako-chan." The old woman agreed, dropping gently off Kuwabara's back and smiling up at him "Take care of yourself, Kuwabara-kun, and if you ever need work, just look me up." She paused "Oh, and tell Konoe-baka next time you see him that I'm calling in on our bargain."

"Huh? Wha-?" Kuwabara stammered, gaping at the woman like a stranded guppy as she waved down a cab "Waitaminute! How'd you know my name?"

His questions went unanswered, for the cab sped off towards the airport, leaving a thoroughly confused tantei in the dust.

* * *

_Elsewhere..._

"So that's Kuwabara Kazuma-kun." Urashima Hinata noted offhandedly, that loveable smile still etched across her weathered features "Quite a nice rump on that one."

"He's ugly." Kanako countered as she hugged her long-eared cat, Kuro, close to her chest "You could do better than that for Haruka."

"Perhaps." the infamous Granny Hina noted, one eye opening a crack to reveal a shrewd gaze that could steal the Devil's own horns "But then again, it isn't so much the looks as stamina when it comes to finding a good catch." She chuckled at Kanko's flush "Why do you think I didn't care for that Noriasu chap? The idiot could be poster boy for erectile dysfunction."

"I'd take Onii-san any day." Kanako muttered, almost to herself, were it not for Hina's sharp hearing, refuted to have been honed through years of warding off assasins.

"And while I may have doted on that in times past." Hina assured her, though there was steel in that tone somewhere "I must ask for you not to interfere, Kanako-chan."

"Hai-Obaa-sama." Kanko conceded, lowering her head in apparent submission, though Hina could tell she'd raise hell anyways.

'Ah, young love.' The Urashima clan matriarch sighed, placing a hand to her wrinkled cheek 'Kei-chan, just you leave it to Baa-chan, I'll make sure your life is a happy one…even if you don't know it.'

In Hinata-city, a young man with his leg in a cast shivered as something ran down his spine, only to be punched into the stratosphere because the violent object of his misguided affections interpreted the action as his thinking perverted thoughts.

* * *

_With Kuwabara..._

"Are you alright Sensei?" Chachamaru asked concernedly, walking up behind the muttering tantei "I noted that you seem to have injured yourself, should I escort you back home?"

"Nah I'm good." Kuwabara assured the girl, popping his back into place "You said you had to make a stop right? Don't let me keep you, I have to be somewhere anyways."

Chachamaru regarded him carefully, before nodding and handing back the attaché case as she picked up her shopping bags bowed, walking off sedately towards an older part of the school.

'Can't sense anything ominous.' Kuwabara noted, shrugging off his concerns 'I guess she's probably going ta hang out.' He winced as his muscles stung, grumbling under his breath at his newfound hatred for mysterious old women that lived to torture upstanding individuals like himself with their odd ways.

* * *

_Reikai..._

"Botan! Where in the nine hells have you been?" Koenma called out from behind a stack of paperwork. Botan idly noted that it didn't look much smaller than when she left a while ago, if anything it looked bigger than ever.

"I've been trying to look into something that concerns Kuwabara." She noted, dressed in her traditional pink kimono "Its one of his students, I fear she may be more than she's letting on."

"You dropped off the radar for that?" Koenma snapped, looking none to pleased "Why didn't you simply report it to me? We could have done a background check in no-time!"

"Well I simply wanted to avoid all the red tape and paperwork that would have meant sir." Botan replied, patting herself on the back as Koenma winced at the dreaded 'P' word.

"Point noted." He allotted, putting his fingers together and resting his chin on them "Very well, give me a name and I'll look into it personally."

"The subjects name is Evangeline A.K McDowell sir." Botan replied, blinking as her boss stared at her, before chuckling and shaking his head.

"Ha! Good one Botan!" the pacifier sucking deity chuckled, shaking his head good naturedly "For a minute there I thought you were serious."

"But I am sir!" Botan insisted, riffling through the front of her kimono in a way that would have garnered a look from Yusuke had he been there, pulling out a picture and holding it out to her boss "See, here's the girl in question!"

Koenma snorted and took the picture, looking it over with his eyes half shut in bemusement. They bulged wide open as his pacifier fell from numb lips, all the color draining from his face as he held the photo in trembling hands. "No way…" he stammered "Its not possible…I thought she'd been…! AYAME! OGRE!"

The black robed ferrywoman appeared next to Botan with a bow as George, Koenma's personal assistant/nanny stumbled into the room a few seconds later. "Is something the matter, Koenma-sama?" they asked in tandem, looking at the ruler of reikai in concern, George struggling to catch his breath.

"Ogre! Get me the record rooms!" Koenma snapped, knocking over several files in his distress "Tell them I want to see the soul passing records for the past ten years! Ayame!" he turned to the ferrywoman "Get me all the information you have on this subject," he handed her the photo "from vault M, and I mean YESTERDAY!"

"Sir?" Botan asked, looking at him in confusion as the two departed to carry out their orders, Ayame as calm as ever, and George ever nervous "What's going on?"

"Another blunder with intelligence that's what!" Koenma snapped, pacing the desk and stuffing his pacifier between grit teeth as he cursed the Reikai intelligence agency for the umpteenth time "It may not be as bad as Sensui's tunnel but for someone like THAT to be loose in the human world…!"

"Who is she?" Botan asked, starting to feel concerned for the safety of her onetime pursuer and good friend as Koenma continued to pace his desk.

"Only one of the most evil, underhanded, manipulative wizards this world has had the misfortune to encounter!" Koenma replied, "I thought she'd been destroyed ten years ago, but back then I was handling the loss of Sensui and so didn't have time to focus."

"Is Kuwabara-kun in danger?" Botan asked, shivering at the look in her employer's eyes as he regarded her solemnly, face shadowed for dramatic effect.

"Danger doesn't even BEGIN to describe the trouble he's in." Koenma replied in a somber tone "Kuwabara may possibly be the strongest living human in regards to sheer power, but he's untrained and has never encountered wizardry and all its secrets." He swallowed "And Dark Evangel, the undying Magi, has centuries of experience to back up her own considerable might!"

* * *

_With Evangeline..._

"Are you alright master?" Chachamaru asked, regarding Evangeline in concern. The gynoid had just returned from a botched ambush courtesy of Negi Springfield and Kagurazaka Asuna. She had yet to inform her master that the Springfield heir had engaged in a probationary pact with their redheaded classmate, for reasons her logic circuits could not comprehend.

"I'm fine." Evangeline assured her, rubbing her nose after a particularly sudden, not to mention violent, sneeze. "I hate this curse," she muttered "Without my powers I'm susceptible to every asinine virus that targets infantile brats."

"Perhaps you should go to bed." Chachamaru suggested, getting to her feet with a couteous bow, hands clasped "I'll warm the bath for you."

"Please do." Eva nodded, looking out the window offhandedly, a bored expression on her face "I wonder where that Neanderthal disappeared off to?"

"Are you concerned master?" Chachamaru asked, only for Eva to hurl a fork at her.

* * *

_With Kuwabara..._

"Keep going, slacker!" Genkai taunted, standing atop a cliff-face, gazing down at a struggling Kuwabara, who was attempting to climb it blindfolded, without equipment, and with weights hanging from chains at his wrists and ankles. "Use your sixth sense to feel out the best route! And don't even think of removing that cloth! If you do I'll kick you right off and you can start from the beginning!"

"When I get up there I'll beat the stuffing outta ya, ya old bat!" Kuwabara yelled up the cliff, only for the woman to chuckle.

"Oh? The great 'Kuwabara-sama' says he'll hit me does he?" she called out "Looks like I'm getting through to that thick head of yours." She kicked a pebble over the edge, watching in satisfaction as it dropped onto Kuwabara's forehead, dizzying him and causing him to slide down to the bottom again "That said, that doesn't mean I have to listen to your crap."

"AAAARRRGGGHHH!"

* * *

Cue Nadesico music.

Training in the woods! A trademark of shounen manga!

Yue: this isn't a shonen manga...not really.

Alone in the woods, our hero must ward off natures fiercest foes!

Narutakis: AH! BEARS!

But what's this? Assasins in the trees? Fear not! Kuwabara shall overcome them!

Next time on Reikai Kuwabara: enlightenment in the foliage!

Kuwabara: Oh god...WHERE'S THE F-!-ING TOILET PAPER!

R&R, and Kurama shall pose for you.


	15. Chapter 15

The training continues...All through za NA-AIGHT!

Heaven or Hell?

LETS RAWK!

* * *

15th period

Chachamaru was sitting at one of the many café's that adorned the Mahora campus. A cup of coffee sat before her, untouched because she didn't require such forms of intake. "Negi-sensei…" she stated softly, only to look up as an exhausted figure in beige pants and jacket stumbled past "Kuwabara-sensei?"

Kuwabara looked at the Gynoid, startling her with how haggard he was. There was a day's worth of stubble on his chin and the bags under his eyes gave his the appearance of a badly inexperienced Tanuki. "Ohayo Chachamaru-san." The exhausted professor managed to get out with a smile, staggering towards the table "You look pretty good."

"Thank you." The gynoid replied, standing and helping her exhausted sensei into a chair, before handing him her untouched coffee "Sensei, have you been getting enough rest?"

"Nope." Kuwabara replied, taking a chug of lukewarm coffee and grimacing at the foul, chilled brew in disgust "Blech, tastes like sludge."

"My apologies, I was waiting here for…" she paused as footsteps approached "Ah, they are here."

Kuwabara blinked tiredly and looked up into the approaching faces of Evangeline and a girl he dimly recalled as Hakase Satomi, the number two genius of the class.

"Well now," Evangeline greeted, hiding her surprise behind a smirk "looks like someone's date went a little TOO well." She sat down at the table and regarded the unshaven instructor coyly "Little too wild for you sensei?"

'Something like that.' Kuwabara noted mentally, recalling having to outrun a goddamn bear for his breakfast. It didn't help that the bear seemed to know how humans thought either. The sole comfort he got that morning was finding two char cooking for him in the fire, and even then he chalked it up to Genkai.

As it were, since he had no classes to teach today, he was expected to train full on. His only reason for being in town was a brief moments respite, since Genkai had sent him for a change of clothes he now carried in his attaché case.

"But if the kid pulls anything earlier we'll deal with him." Evangeline finished, catching the dazed man's attention as she spoke to Chachamaru.

'Kid?' he wondered dimly 'They mean Negi-bozu?' he shrugged it off, flinching as he espied the time on the clock tower and getting to his feet. "Gotta go, by Chachamaru-san, Hakase-san, Eva-chan!"

"I'll murder that ape." Evangeline muttered, shooting the departing tantei a glare as she dug her nails into the cup he'd left behind "Where does he get off calling me that?"

"Master, you are his student." Chachamaru noted "And perhaps it is because of your size."

"One more word and you're a toaster oven." Evangeline growled, shooting the unresponsive robot a look that had caused balls to freeze and shatter. Hakase, sheltered behind the gynoid's head, thanked her lucky stars for doing so.

* * *

_With Kuwabara..._

"Remind me again why I'm doing this?" Kuwabara panted, doing one-handed pushups with Genkai sitting on his back. He was wearing only a pair of blue tracksuit bottoms and a vest, Genkai wearing her usual garments whilst she held his other arm behind his back.

"Because in order to advance we must first re-master the basics." The aged reiki master replied, "I'll admit it was a folly for me to allow you to neglect your skills as much as I did but with the tournament and that mess Sensui incited I had to consider my options and focus on the baka."

She gripped his wrist, forcing him to pick up the pace again, releasing it after a few minutes to vault off his back, allowing him to rest. "Now that you've maxed out your physical strength, we can work on your spiritual ones." She instructed, allowing him to catch his breath before gesturing him to hold out his hands. Kuwabara could only blink as she circled his wrists with a familiar yellow energy, only to yelp as said limbs were suddenly brought together by glowing yellow shackles.

"I'm sure you remember these." Genkai noted, attaching similar shackles to the struggling man's ankles, stepping back as he nearly toppled over "in order for you to be able to move you must simultaneously use the power of your body and spirit if you hope to move."

"So reiki and muscles together huh?" Kuwabara noted, grimacing as he did just that. His already active muscles tautened as the reiki flowed through them, fortifying the man's impressive natural strength with his immense spiritual one. Slowly, a light blue aura tinged with gold surrounded him, the shackles separating as if attached to a tightly wound spring, allowing Kuwabara to space his legs apart and his arms at his sides.

"Impressive." Genkai noted, actually impressed. Yusuke had been studying the spirit wave with her ever since the defeat of Rando, so his ability to grasp techniques was a given. Kuwabara had had no such prior training, yet he was nonetheless equally as talented, if not a little more controlled.

'But then he DID show promise the first time I saw him.' She conceded, recalling the first time she'd seen him in action 'And he only got stronger with time, chasing after Yusuke and pushing the baka to new heights.'

"Now then, you must keep those cuffs on at all times." She instructed to the man "While they are on you are to remain at full power 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, if you so much as want to pick your nose, are we clear?"

"What about going ta the bathroom?" Kuwabara asked in a nervous voice, only to shiver at Genkai's chuckle, noting the dangerous humor in her eyes.

"I'll come back for you on Monday." The aged psychic called out, looking over her shoulder at him with a smile "Try not to upset any more bears."

* * *

_Two Days later..._

'Stupid old woman leaving me out in the stupid woods without any stupid toilet paper.' Kuwabara muttered, already on the second day in the woods and fairly set in his mind about his new opinion of his rival's old master. The bear from before had ambushed him earlier too, only to be scared off when Kuwabara bellowed at it.

Hey? What did it expect attacking him when he was taking a dump?

'Now I gotta get breakfast because she forgot to leave me any rations.' The tantei muttered, grimacing as he felt the cuffs tighten somewhat 'lets see, that river was somewhere over-!"

He froze, a breeze rustling through the trees as he felt a presence nearby. Normally he had little trouble discerning locations but something about these woods and the cuffs was throwing off his sixth sense. "Who's there?" he called out, readying his fists for a punch-up, even as a, rather appealing, figure in ninja clothes stepped out, the light brown robes accenting her figure nicely as she smiled at him.

"Ho? Another sensei comes to visit Sessha in the woods?" Kaede called out, smiling at her stunned professor "Ohayo, Kuwabara sensei."

"N-Nagase-san?" Kuwabara stammered, blinking as if unsure the sight of the Koga beauty was an illusion "What're YOU doing here?"

"You're one to talk sensei." Baka blue pointed out coyly, before leaping down from the hill and landing before him "You look haggard, have you been here all night?"

"Yeah." Kuwabara muttered, grimacing at the countless insufferable insect bites he'd suffered in the process "I'm set over that way."

"Then lets get your stuff." Kaede insisted, taking his hand and walking back to the impromptu camp "yare-yare, you really didn't plan ahead sensei, you didn't even pack a tent."

"I did," Kuwabara muttered, looking off to the side, "but it got…damaged."

Kaede blinked, before following his gaze to see a mangled monstrosity that could only be regarded as a tent at the greatest stretch of the most twisted imagination. "Ah well," she offered, smiling comfortingly "Sessha's more than happy to share."

Negi looked up from his mug of tea as Kaede returned, only to blink at the sight of Kuwabara lumbering behind her, a sleeping bag over his shoulder. "Kuwabara-san?" he called out, looking confused but glad to see the other professor "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing bozu." Kuwabara replied, blinking at the sight of his friend whilst shooting looks at a perpetually smiling Kaede "You two out camping?"

"Negi-sensei got lost in the woods until Sessha found him." Kaede replied, patting the boy on the head "Good thing Sessha comes out here for training every weekend."

"What kind of training?" Kuwabara asked, before slapping his forehead, a little stiffly because of the cuffs "Right, the outfit, Ninja training eh?"

"What now?" Kaede asked, whistling offhandedly whilst looking to the side "Sensei has some strange ideas de gozaru."

'What's strange is how you avoided the question.' Were the thoughts of Negi and Kuwabara, who shared identical sweat drops. They shook themselves as the girl smiled at them.

"Well Sensei?" Kaede asked, looking at Kuwabara "I already asked Negi-bozu if he wanted to join me, care to join Sessha for training?"

"Uh…I guess so." Kuwabara muttered, wincing as his stomach growled like a ravenous beast "But do you have anything to eat?"

"That's what the training is." Kaede replied with a smile "Gathering food, this isn't a superstore you know."

The tantei moaned before moving to catch up. At this rate he'd pass out from starvation.

* * *

_Gonna need a montage..._

'Something's changed.' Kaede noted, regarding Kuwabara carefully as the day went on, or more accurately his aura 'It isn't like before, I can sense he's continuously letting it out, but at the same time its as if something's holding it back.'

She regarded the man carefully, he didn't seem to be under any stress, but the straining of his muscles told her otherwise. Her unusual sensei was apparently channeling his energy into his muscles, whilst said muscles were being put under tremendous pressure. It was almost as if he was running with weights on.

Then there was the aura itself, it was nowhere near as awe inspiring as it had been the other day, but she still got the feeling he could go toe to toe with quite a few jounin and come out on top. But at the same time all that power was being held in check by something, most of it being held back whilst the remnants fortified the man's body, supplementing his already impressive physical reserves.

'Truly an impressive training regimen.' She noted, even as she watched Kuwabara tackle a bear that had snuck up on Negi, chuckling at the look on both the boy and the bear's faces as Kuwabara supplexed the beast 'But then again, Sensei always was full of surprises, de gozaru yo.'

* * *

_Bath-time yo..._

"AH, nothing like a bath after a hard days work." Kuwabara sighed "Good thing I found this hot spring huh?"

Negi nodded, letting the hot water soothe his aching body with a sigh. "You always seem to find what you're looking for Kuwabara-san, you should be a detective."

"I'll keep that in mind bozu." Kuwabara chuckled ironically, shaking his head at the boys comment as he sank deeper into the waters.

"You two look like you're having fun." Kaede noted, stepping out from behind a boulder with a towel and not much else "Mind if Sessha joins in de gozaru?"

"ACK!" was the general outcry, as both males scrambled to cover themselves, only for Kaede to chuckle at their antics and sink into the water, quite comfortable with herself.

"Still," she noted, settling into the water a modest distance away from them "It IS amazing you found this place sensei, even Sessha never knew this spring was here." She smiled at them "Bet you're glad he came, Negi-bozu?"

Negi smiled at the older man before looking over at his student shyly "I…have to admit you impress me too, Nagase-san." He admitted shyly "For a third-year junior high school student you have an impressive-"

"Chest?" Kaede cut in cheerfully, Kuwabara spitting in shock and Negi flushing in mortification as she bounced slightly to emphasize her assets.

"Well yes but…I mean NO!" the welsh wizard stammered hurriedly, stubbornly trying to focus his eyes anywhere but the girl's assets "I meant the way you carry yourself, so relaxed and dependable." He nodded at a flushed Kuwabara "You too, Kuwabara-san, I envy you for how well you manage to keep your cool."

"Aw c'mon bozu," Kuwabara replied, recognizing the beginnings of a childish depression "You're pretty darn respectable yourself!"

"It's true de gozaru." Kaede agreed with a smile, hugging the boy from behind, much to his embarrassment and Kuwabara's shock, as he hadn't sensed the ninja girl move "already a teacher at ten-years old, not even Kuwabara or Takahata sensei could pull that off."

"Yeah bozu." Kuwabara agreed, trying not to look at Kaede's assets as he smiled at his friend "You got a long ways ta go, so life's thrown you a few lemons, I say screw the lemons and go buy a soda, life's too short to be plagued by doubt."

"Very insightful de gozaru." Kaede chuckled, resting her chin on Negi's head to his embarrassment "you should've been a philosopher sensei."

* * *

_That night..._

Negi lay beside a snoozing Kaede, whilst Kuwabara snored away inside the confines of his sleeping bag. The ten year old was enawed at the determination of his classmate and colleague, feeling a little ashamed of himself for being so bigheaded that this would all be a breeze.

Sure his magical grades had been top notch, something that had not been seen in one so young in centuries, but did that matter in the real world? He kept falling back on magic when he was in trouble, but just what part did magic have to play in the role of a high school teacher?

Then there was the way he kept running away from his problems; first the debacle with Asuna, then library-island, and now the threat of Evangeline. How could he become a Magister Magi if he kept running away?

If he couldn't defeat a monster like Evangeline here, where her powers were confined, what hope did he have of battling the other evils of the world?

Resolve set, the ten-year-old rolled over so his back was to Kaede, sleeping the night through and rising at first light, ready to go.

"Heading off Bozu?" Kuwabara called out, startling the boy as he stepped out of the tent, scratching his stubble "Don't blame ya, just know if ya need ta talk, I'm here for ya."

Negi smiled, thanking his colleague, before closing his eyes and summoning his staff, which flew from its place in a tree to his waiting hand. The boy smiled, mounting it and taking off, waving back at Kuwabara as he flew off back to Mahora.

* * *

_As Negi flies off..._

"You can quit pretending to be asleep now." Kuwabara called out once Negi was out of earshot, Kaede climbing out with her usual smile in place "I hope I can trust you not ta say anything?"

"Say what?" Kaede replied, smiling all the while "Sessha didn't see anything, Negi-bozu just went home right?"

Kuwabara eyed the girl carefully, before smiling, nodding in thanks before picking up his own stuff, "I better get back to training." He sighed, wincing as the shackles flared slightly "see ya around."

"Sessha would be glad to help in your training." Kaede offered, smiling helpfully "After all, it's better to train with someone than to suffer alone de gozaru-yo." She smiled "Besides, it's easier to gather food with two around, and the bears don't seem to bother you." She chuckled at the embarrassed look on Kuwabara's face, before leading the way down to the river for breakfast.

* * *

_Later..._

"He's late." Genkai muttered, glaring at her pocket watch as she waited for Kuwabara to meet her at the stop "It's ten, he should have been here thirty minutes ago."

"Do you think he's in trouble?" Yukina wondered, looking around in concern "The birds tell me the bears in these parts are savage."

A roar erupted from the woods, one of the so-called violent bears if Genkai was any judge. The aged psychic braced herself to send the beast flying only for it to tumble out of the woods, locked in mortal combat with a snarling, cursing Kuwabara, who bore several scratches along his arms.

"HOOOI-YAH!" Kuwabara bellowed, slipping around the beast's back and supplexing it, following up with a headlock as he pounded its face "Say uncle! Say uncle!"

Genkai merely stared at the sight, as if unable to comprehend what she was seeing. It was simply ludicrous; like any other martial arts instructor she'd heard of 'wrestling bears' for training shtick, it was considered a private joke amongst fighters, a tall tale to tell awestruck youths and would be disciples.

Until now she'd never seen anyone stupid enough to actually do it.

"Ha!" Kuwabara crowed, as the beast scampered off in defeat "I'm still king of the mountain!"

"Your royal fly is open, your highness." Genkai pointed out snidely, snorting as the tantei leapt straight into the air in shock, gaping at the two of them as he landed, before checking his groin, forgetting that track suits had no fly "You seem well, guess you adjusted to the cuffs rather easily."

"So that means you're taking them off?" Kuwabara asked hopefully, holding out his wrists in anticipation only for Genkai to snort in dismissal.

"Nope, just making note to increase the training regimen from now on." Genkai replied, chuckling to herself as Kuwabara slumped miserably.

* * *

_The next day..._

Kuwabara yawned as he awoke, feeling a little more refreshed than he had in a while. Genkai had promised to let him off during the school week to teach, but that merely meant his weekend plans were shot to hell.

He blinked as a coughing fit came to his attention as he made his way down the stairs, doing up his tie. "Eva-chan?" he called out "You okay?"

Eva shivered, not entirely the fault of the teacher as she glared at him, face flushed and eyes drowsy. "Fine." She ground out, only to cough and sneeze almost simultaneously.

"Yeah sure." Kuwabara muttered, placing his hand to her head, not noticing her look on shock as he did so "Damn! You're boiling!"

"I'm fine!" Eva snapped, slapping the hand away as she glowered at him "I don't need you babying me-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"Chachamaru?" Kuwabara called out, lifting Eva up bridal style, ignoring her beating at his chest weakly "Could you stay behind to keep an eye on Eva-chan? I'll send a doctor over to look at her."

"But of course sensei." Chachamaru replied with a bow, noticing the look of angered betrayal on her master's face as she was carried up to her room.

"I tell you I'm Fi-Fi-FOAACHOOO!" Evangeline sneezed, spraying the wall with liquid as she sniffed, moaning exhaustedly "Dammit."

"No more out of you," Kuwabara muttered authoritatively, setting her on the bed as Chachamaru came in "Don't let her out, change her clothes and make sure she stays under that quilt." He instructed, before smiling down at the crossly huffing Evangeline and ruffling her hair "Don't worry, I'll explain things ta Bozu and th' dean."

Eva scoffed and looked away, watching as the irritating Neanderthal made his way down the path to school. "Baka," she muttered half-heartedly "acting all concerned, like he really cares."

"You seem embarrassed master." Chachamaru noted, only to receive a face full of pillow from the flushing midian.

* * *

_Later..._

"Negi-bozu's gone ta see Eva-chan?" Kuwabara repeated, looking down at a helpful Ayaka in confusion, having just come in to let the boy know the girl wasn't coming to class "Must be worried about her."

"But of course he is!" Ayaka praised, flowers blooming out of freaking nowhere as she went into gush-mode "Negi-sensei is the pinnacle of gentlemanly behavior, oh how I envy Eva-san for being visited by him!"

"Yukihiro-san." Kuwabara noted, sweat dropping as the girls face grew more flushed and her breath more heated "I don't know if you've heard of this but there's a word for people that think like that…"

"Shotacon." Asuna muttered, starting a fight between her and the rep that would have escalated into a riot had Kuwabara not separated them by their jackets.

"Asuna! That was uncalled for!" he rebuked, the redhead looking away in shame "And Ayaka! As Iincho you should be settin' an example ta the rest of the class, what kinda example's startin' a catfight supposed to set?"

Ayaka looked away in shame as she and Asuna were set down, neither looking at the other, but apologizing in their own way. "Now I'm goin' ta look into gettin' you a substitute," Kuwabara instructed, "So Ayaka, please keep an eye on-!"

"KUWABARA-SENSEI!" Botan's voice called out suddenly, Kuwabara stumbling in shock before gaping at the frantic ferrywoman as she appeared in the doorway, dressed in a school uniform "TROUBLE! WE GOT BIG TROUBLE!"

"Eh? Botan-chan?" Kuwabara stammered, only to blink as she grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him out the door, slamming it shut behind them.

"Who was that?" Ayaka wondered numbly as the sound of dashing feet faded away "So rude, bursting into class and hauling sensei off like that!"

"Wasn't that the girl from Asakura's scoop?" Misa wondered, touching her lip playfully "The one sensei said was 'just a friend'?"

"Maybe they're childhood friends and she transferred here because he works here!" Sakurako noted, sparkles filling her wide eyes "Think about it, he only sees her like a little sister but she…"

* * *

_A scene forms overhead of bishi-kuwabara in a high school uniform waving to a girl in an elementary school uniform as he boards the bus to college._

_Bishi-Kuwa: "Ja-na, Botan-chan!"_

_Chibi Botan: "Kuwabara-nii-chan! Daisuki!"_

_Bishi-Kuwa: "Eh? What?"_

_The bus doors close just as she yells the last part._

* * *

"SO romantic!" the girls scream, starting another full-fledged riot whilst Ayaka futilely tried to regain control.

It was at that moment that Murakami Natsumi looked out the window, sighing softly, only to shriek as Kuwabara-sensei fell past the window on his way to the ground below.

* * *

Cue Nadesico music:

What's this? Kuwabara has commited sucide?

Natsumi: KYAAAAAAA!

And Negi has fallen into the grips of the dreaded Evangeline!

Negi: Eeeeeh!

Ganbare Negi-kun! just hold on till help arrives!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: feed courage to starve a vampire!

Chachamaru: This statement seems incorrect.

R&R!


	16. Chapter 16

okay...last we saw Kuwabara, he was falling off a building...not good.

Shall we see what's going on?

HEAVEN OR HELL

LET"S RAWK!

* * *

16th period.

'Dammit!' Kuwabara swore, knees kicking as he ran down the path towards Eva's cottage 'Why didn't I put it together? My sixth sense was always on edge there, but I put it off as the woods!' he grit his teeth 'And now Negi is…he could be-!'

The tantei was dimly aware of Botan calling for him a ways back; riding on her oar as trying to keep up with the man on foot was just plain stupid.

* * *

Flashback

"_Okay." Kuwabara muttered, rubbing his wrist tenderly to get the feeling back "What's so important you couldn't wait till break ta tell me?"_

"_Big trouble!" Botan replied "Remember how I thought Evangeline was familiar? Well look at this!" she held out a wanted poster, with Eva's picture on it "She's an S-rank wanted criminal from the magic world!"_

"_Criminal? Eva-chan?" Kuwabara repeated, looking at the paper in confusion "You're pulling my leg, sure th' picture matches but that things over ten years old."_

"_Of course she doesn't look any different! She's a VAMPIRE!" Botan insisted earnestly, popping open Kuwabara's attaché case to reveal a laptop like attachment "According to our research, Eva's one of the few High daylight walkers that have slipped under spirit world radar!"_

_Kuwabara ran his eyes over the information, turning paler as he read on. Murder, wanton destruction, terrorism, the dark evangel had even tried her hand at world domination at one point. 'And I've been living under th' same roof as her?' he shrieked, a shiver running down his spine at the thought of ivory fangs piercing his jugular in his sleep. He snapped out of these morbid thoughts as he noted a clause at the bottom, frowning at it in confusion "What's this?" he asked, drawing Botan's attention."_

"_That? Well according to sources the reason she's been under our radar for so long is because she's bound to school grounds by the infernus scholasticus curse." She held up a finger "That's high level sorcery, it binds her magic, so we wont have to worry about that when we apprehend her, the only way to break the spell is for the caster to release it or to drain them, or a descendant, of their blood."_

"_So who's the big wiz that cast this spell?" Kuwabara wondered, suspecting the dean, and making a note to tell Negi to keep Konoka away from the girl._

"_Someone called Nagi Springfield." Botan muttered, blinking as she took in Kuwabara's stunned expression "Kuwa-kun? What's wrong?" She shrieked as her friend and tantei leapt over the fence and down the side of the roof "Kuwa-kun!"_

* * *

_End Flashback_

'Okay, maybe leaping off th' roof wasn't th' smartest of ideas.' The tantei admitted, recalling the ground rushing up at him with a sweatdrop, 'But taking th' stairs or Botan's oar would take too long, at least this way no-one saw me.'

* * *

_Fifteen minutes ago…_

"Natsumi-chan what's wrong?" Ayaka called out, only to find the girl trembling in terror as she hugged her desk mate, Kaede, tightly.

"K-Kuwabara-sensei…just fell past the window!" the shy girl stammered, eyes little scribbles of terror, eliciting a series of gasps.

"What?" the class yelled as one, scrambling to the windows in time to see Kuwabara was indeed falling "AH! SUICIDE! MURDER!"

They watched with horrified fascination as he fell, eyes following his progress carefully, only for Kuwabara to flip in mid-air so that he was upright, crashing into the ground feet first, cracking the tiles and startling a group of seniors who gaped at him in shock. Then, to the amazement of all, the orange haired sensei dashed off towards the woods at top speed, as if the fall had meant nothing.

"He…survived?" was the collective thought, eyes wide and pupil-less at the sight of the unharmed educator "But we're on the fourth floor!"

"Did you see that look on his face?" Kasumi noted, blowing up the picture on her digital camera to reveal the determined scowl for all to see "He looks really pissed!"

"Forget that!" Yuna yelled excitedly "Did you see how he shrugged off that fall! His legs should have burst from a fall like that!"

"He survived Tendo-sensei's barbell of doom too!" Makie pointed out, several people making signs against evil at the dreaded name "and he was turned up the next day without a scratch!"

"He's a terminator!" Sakurako suggested energetically "A killer robot from the future, reprogrammed to teach and protect Negi-kun!"

"Ack! What if the barbell changed the program back!" the Narutakis realized, the entire class breaking into a frenzy at the thought, Ayaka trying futilely to calm them down as Asuna sweatdropped at the sight.

At the back, Chao Lingshen cocked an eyebrow and smirked, taking note of the blue-haired blur that flew past on an oar, almost too fast for the eye to see.

'You just get more interesting by the minute Kuwabara-sensei.' She noted with a coy smirk, several new scenarios running through her devious little mind 'I'll have to see if I can recruit him…things could get a little messy otherwise yo.'

* * *

_Back to present._

"Kuwa-kun!" Botan shrilled, pulling up alongside the man with a flushed expression on her face "Don't you ever do that again! You near scared me to death! And unlike Yusuke if YOU die that's it!"

"Sorry Botan but there's no time ta lose!" Kuwabara shot back, not even looking at the angry ferrywoman "Negi-bozu's old man's th' guy that cursed Eva-chan, and right now bozu's at Eva-chan's house!"

Botan gasped and urged some extra speed into her oar, following after Kuwabara as he charged down the path at an impressive pace, leaving a trail of dust and leaves in their wake. Within what seemed like seconds the Tantei caught sight of the door to the cottage he'd begun to call home, near busting it off its hinges as he forced his way in, startling the occupants as he took in the scene before him warily.

Chachamaru was bowing in greeting, a tray with a teapot, cup and what looked suspiciously like a pharmacy bag resting on it. Negi had turned to face him, staff at the ready but gaping at him in alarm and confusion. Evangeline, looking a rather bizarre combination of dangerous and adorable in her pajamas, was standing on the banister of the stairs, hand glowing with power and several phials of liquid held between her fingers. "Well," the midian noted, a smirk stretching her flushed features as she took in the new arrivals "come back to check up on me sensei?"

"Negi," Kuwabara called out, not taking his eyes off the vampire's own "Back towards me, slowly." He blinked as some emotion flashed in those eyes, annoyance, anger and…sadness?

Before he could think about it Evangeline let out a mocking 'Feh,' before collapsing face first off the railing.

* * *

_Eva's POV..._

'Figures.' The chibi vampire muttered self mockingly, feeling a surge of familiar, long forgotten pain at the look in Kuwabara's eyes as he ordered Negi to back towards him 'It's always the same…they find out what you are and suddenly they pull out the pitchforks.'

She had thought that she'd long gotten over this, what did she care of the opinions of mortals? In a few years she'd outlive most of them, hell a few seconds if they really pissed her off.

But the look of alert focus in Kuwabara's eyes struck a chord somewhere, probably because he'd been living with them for a while now, but most likely because of her current condition.

Speaking of which, her body finally managed to alert her brain that it wasn't up to the task of grandstanding any longer, and without so much as a 'by-your-leave' shut down all motor control, the phials falling from limp fingers as she collapsed off the rail.

'With my luck I'll land on the glass' she note disdainfully, only to blink as, instead of impacting face first into the hardwood floor, a pair of warm, muscular arms caught her in mid fall. She looked up weakly, gazing into the shocked features of Kuwabara as he looked down at her; apparently he'd surprised himself with his actions as well. The last thing the high daylight walker heard was Chachamaru's concerned voice and then the darkness took her.

* * *

_Kuwabara's POV..._

Kuwabara honestly couldn't understand what had happened; he'd just reacted on sheer instinct.

One minute he was Kuwabara the Reikai Tantei, glaring into the eyes of Evangeline A.K McDowell, Dark Evangel and Undying Magi as she stood atop the rail, determined to protect his friend and colleague from becoming a midday snack. The next he was Kuwabara-sensei, dashing forward to catch Eva-Chan before the little girl cracked her head open falling off said rail.

He turned her over so she was looking up at him in his arms, amazed at how light she was. Even Yukina weighed more than this little slip of a girl, and she wasn't anywhere near as dangerous as the report Botan had given him implied.

"Evangeline-san!" Negi called out, dashing over alongside a concerned Chachamaru and placing a hand to her head "Wow she's really burning up!"

"Yes, she has every fever from regular to hay." Chachamaru noted, nodding to the stunned professors "Kuwabara-sensei? Could you help me put her to bed?"

'Hay fever?' the two males repeated numbly in their eerie mental tandem 'What kind of vampire is she?'

Botan brought up the rear, looking highly off track. This wasn't how a bust was supposed to go was it? But the again ever since she'd bumped into Yusuke and Kuwabara her world had been rocked on a pretty frequent basis.

After settling the exhausted vampire into her bed, the group stood by the bedside, watching as she breathed heavily, coughing every odd second. "She really doesn't look very well." Botan noted, looking down at the flushed face of the blonde vampire in concern.

"Doesn't sound too hot either." Kuwabara agreed, watching as Chachamaru tucked Eva in tighter to make sure she stayed warm.

"At the moment master is so weak she is about as threatening as a ten-year old." Chachamaru diagnosed, in her usual monotone "That is to say, a non-magical, non-wizarding ten-year old of course."

'That doesn't reassure me none.' Kuwabara muttered, he himself had been a regular hellion at that age, and the less said about Urameshi the better. And that didn't factor Sensui either, if the report on him was right the 'black angel' had been warding off demons since he could crawl.

"Negi-sensei, Kuwabara-sensei?" Chachamaru spoke out, alerting the two "I have some connections at the university hospital that can slip me the antibiotics she really needs, no questions asked." He looked at them "Can you watch over master while I'm out?"

"Da heck?" Kuwabara blinked, as Negi jumped at the idea "Wasn't she trying to kill Negi a few minutes ago? What makes you so sure we wouldn't take her out now?"

"Because I trust you sensei." Chachamaru replied, startling the man with her flat tone and unblinking gaze "You would never raise your hand to strike a defenseless opponent, let alone one of your students."

Kuwabara blinked, looking at the green haired girl in confusion, a soft moan from Evangeline settling his resolve as he nodded. "You head back to class Bozu." He instructed as soon as Chachamaru was out of sight "No point in both of us being here."

"Ano," Negi stammered, looking between Eva and his colleague "A-as her homeroom teacher…I have every right to be here too."

Kuwabara blinked at the boy, before sighing and scratching his neck, only to jolt as Evangeline started coughing fiercely. "Botan! Can't you do anything?"

"I'm not a doctor!" Botan replied, looking around frantically "Wounds and purification I can handle! Sickness is another matter!"

"Maybe a healing spell for the throat?" Negi suggested, his index finger glowing as he stroked the Vampires neck, the coughs soothing slightly as she spoke.

"Throat...feels like sandpaper…" Eva rasped weakly, startling the mage in his ministrations as she tossed and turned "So…thirsty…"

"I'll get some water!" Botan offered, dashing down to the kitchen and returning with a glass, trying to coax some into Eva's mouth only for the vampire to turn away "Maybe some cola? Ice tea?" she blinked "Oh wait, duh! Thirsty vampire."

Negi blinked, holding out a nervous hand to the stricken patient only for Kuwabara to place a hand on his shoulder. "She needs your blood ta undo th' spell." He reminded the youth, who blinked at how well informed he was "Besides, I got more ta spare."

He rolled up his sleeve so that his left lower arm was exposed, supporting Eva's head with his free hand as he held it to her lips. Two sharp pinpricks alerted him to the presence of the fangs, followed by the sudden feeling that he was a juice box as he let her sip away for a good few seconds. After a while he noticed some colour had returned to the girl's cheeks and removed the arm, slapping a band-aid over the puncture wounds to stem the blood, even as Eva started to toss and turn.

"Burning up…" she mumbled, sweating as she turned her back on the window "Make it…go away…"

Negi dashed over to close the curtains, making sure the blinds were shut as well as he turned to examine his student/nemesis, who started shivering. "Poor thing," Botan noted, "Her clothes are soaked through with sweat, I'll have to change her." She shot the two males a meaningful glare before waving her oar at them threateningly "Privacy please!"

* * *

_As Botan changes Eva..._

"What a morning." Kuwabara muttered, resting his head against the wall as he sighed exhaustedly, completely spent from the unusual turn of events.

"Tell me about it," Negi agreed gripping his staff nervously with two hands "Come for the fight, stay for the nursing as they say."

"What WERE you doing here bozu?" Kuwabara asked, looking at the youth "I mean, I thought she'd attacked you by surprise but it felt like I'd walked in on a standoff when I showed up."

"She sent me a letter of challenge." Negi replied, holding up the rather crumpled envelope for Kuwabara to read, "I figured without the full moon I could handle her."

"Finish what we started two nights ago?" Kuwabara read, blinking at the challenge in confusion "You mean she attacked you already?"

"Yeah," Negi admitted, shivering "She was the vampire of Cherry Blossom Street that attacked Makie and Nodoka for their blood, I saved Nodoka but she tricked me into a two on one battle against her and Chachamaru."

"Chachamaru's in on this too?" Kuwabara noted grimly, arms crossed at the idea of two evildoers in his class. "Next you'll be telling me one of them's a robot or something." He blinked at the look on Negi's face "Oh you gotta be shittin' me!"

"Language!" Botan chided, bopping the tantei on the head with her oar as she exited the bedroom "She's resting peacefully for the moment, but you should keep it down nonetheless."

"Arigato, ano…" Negi began, trailing off as he tried to place a name on this mysterious student. He highly doubted she was on his register.

"Uh…this is Sanzu Botan! " Kuwabara stammered, ignoring the look Botan gave him as he introduced her to the boy "She's in another class at the school but she's a friend of the family so I promised to keep an eye on her."

"Oh, so she's a friend of yours Kuwabara-san?" Negi noted, recognizing her at last as the girl that had helped Nodoka back during the potion incident.

"Oh yes!" Botan agreed, hugging the Tantei's arm and smiling at Negi cutely "Kuwa-kun's always getting into trouble so his sister asked me to watch out for him!"

She ruffled Negi's hair before turning to Kuwabara seriously "I better get going, I have to file a report." She smiled once more at Negi before disappearing down the stairs.

'Too bizarre.' she noted, summoning her oar and sailing above the tree line on her way to Reikai 'She wasn't anything like what the report described, and I've NEVER heard of a vampire with hay fever.'

She frowned, deciding to alert Koenma to just how much of a cock-up intelligence had been doing after carrying out her usual job.

Hey, a girl had to make ends meet you know? All those costumes didn't appear out of nowhere!

* * *

_With Negi..._

'She's so cute when she's sleeping.' Negi noted, kneeling next to Evangeline's bed whilst Kuwabara was in the can, 'Some vampire!' he scoffed, only to frown 'The thing is, true vampires are undead, but she's obviously not. Instead she's lost a great deal of power and as a result turned herself into some sort of…pseudo-vampire to get them back.'

'But why do that? Why emulate a vampire?' he wondered, frown deepening as he put his genius mind to work 'And for fifteen years at that, if Chamo's information is correct. How old is she? Why did my father curse her in the first place? Is Chachamaru a part of it?' he sighed, shaking his head exasperatedly 'Just what's the connection?'

He got up, wondering if perhaps something in the room could shed some light, when a moan from Eva froze him in his tracks. "T-Thousand Master…" the sickly midian whimpered, turning in her sleep "wait…stop."

Negi blinked at the mention of his father's title, wondering why the Dark Evangel would be dreaming of such a thing, only to be struck be realization, raising his staff in the air.

"_Rastel Maskil Magister."_ He chanted, magic filling the room with a warm glow as the staff hovered above him _"Nympha somni, Regina Mab, portam aperiens ad se me alliciat!"_

He clapped his hands together, a large hand grabbing his shoulder as a flash of white light flared behind his eyeballs. Opening them he found himself hovering in the air along a strip of beach he recognized as Mahora Lake, the campus grounds in the distant background. He also discovered two other things.

First of all he was naked, which didn't matter much as in astral form one didn't really need, uh, certain parts.

And second, he wasn't alone.

"Kuwabara-san?" the mage sputtered, gaping at the equally surprised astral form of Kuwabara in shock "What are YOU doing here?"

"You're askin' me?" Kuwabara replied dumbly "One minute I'm on th' can when I sense a surge of power in the next room, I come in ta see what's going on only to find you in a trance, so I grabbed your shoulder and next thing I know I'm floatin' around in my birthday suit."

"You must have been dragged into the spell with me." Negi noted resignedly, not too concerned since Kuwabara already knew he was a mage and had vowed secrecy "I wanted to see just how my father beat Evangeline."

They snapped out of their conversation as movement on the beach came to their attention, gaping in awe at the figures there.

A tall, blonde, vivacious looking woman, dressed in a highly revealing back dress with arm gloves and a leather choker stood on one side, wind blowing her golden locks slightly as she stood in a pose that screamed seduction and strength. A puppet with two blades hung from her left hand, the threads holding it up shining silver to the duo's eyes.

'Spiritual thread.' Kuwabara noted, 'Just like the stuff Rando used on Urameshi back in the day.'

It didn't take an idiot to notice that, grown up and bombshell figure aside, that the woman before them was Evangeline, obviously at the height of her power. Negi's attention however, was drawn to the man standing across from the evil mage, holding a staff identical to his own, a hooded robe covering his frame.

"Nowhere to run now, Thousand Master." Evangeline purred, her voice sending shivers down their spines as she eyed the man before her like a cat stalking it's prey "I've tracked you all the way to this far eastern island nation, today I will defeat you, and claim the flesh and blood I've rightfully earned."

"Evangeline The Puppet Master," the cowled man replied solemnly, the wind rustling his cloak "Dark Evangel, The Undying Magi…Evangeline the dreaded vampire. You may have used your strength and beauty to sink your fangs into hundreds before…but your schemes will not avail you this time."

He raised his head, and for the first time granted the impromptu audience a clear view of his face. If anything there was no denying the familial resemblance to Negi, true the face was missing the baby fat and pinch-nez glasses, and the bangs on the right side of the head were longer than the left, but other than that they were the spitting image.

"Kuwabara-san it's him!" Negi exclaimed, waving his arms excitedly as the man spoke on "The Thousand Master! My father from fifteen years ago!"

"He looks like he stepped out of some fantasy manga." Kuwabara noted offhandedly, even as Negi gushed on about how cool the man looked. The cries of glee ended in a gasp as Evangeline and the puppet lunged forwards, looks of hungered eagerness on their faces as they rushed the stationary mage.

"FATHER!" Negi called out in concern, only to blink as the sand in front of the man exploded as soon as the attacking duo stepped on it, revealing a hidden pool of water. He then watched on in confusion as his father emptied the contents of a sack into the pool, eliciting shrieks from the flustered Evangeline as she was stirred about like the unwitting ingredient in the biggest pot of soup, only to suddenly transform into the child they knew today.

"Uh…what th' hell?" Kuwabara muttered, which pretty much summed up the situation rather well "I thought your old man was some sorta badass wizard…what's with th' pitfall traps and garlic?"

Evangeline demanded as much in her ire, calling the man a coward and questioning why the 'Man with a thousand spells' would fight with such childish tactics.

"Well I couldn't go around calling myself the 'man of five, maybe six spells tops." The Thousand Master replied, pulling off his hood to reveal a man in his mid twenties at least, early thirties at most, his grin shifted to an annoyed sneer as he looked down on the vampire in the pit. "What do you expect from a magic school dropout?" he demanded, snorting derisively "So I never studied, sue me!"

* * *

Cue the Nadesico music.

What's this? The thousand master is a fraud?

Negi: AUUUUH!

What a crushing revelation for Negi kun!

Eva: You think this is crushing? I LOST to the baka!

Don't worry Negi! Kuwabara shall console you!

Kuwabara: LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS!

Next time on Reikai Kuwabara: Healing and truths!

Botan: Hm...maybe a nurses outfit would be nice the next time...

R&R for more goodness!


	17. Chapter 17

well...things aren't looking too good for young Negi are they?

Nothing like a little trauma to get the whole comedy routine going eh?

* * *

17th period

Silence hung in the air, save for the mocking cackles of the crows as they took wing into the skies of yester-year.

If words could describe the look on Negi's face at his father's admission they would be completely, absolutely, undeniably flabbergasted. He kept gaping at the man in shock, like it was all some big joke and Nagi was about to start laughing.

Ever since he'd been little he'd been told nothing but good about his father and all the brave, heroic things he did for the world. With the Exception of Stan-jichan, no one had ill to speak of the Thousand Master, hailing him as the greatest wizard of his generation.

Now as one grows up one learns that preconceived perceptions of an idol are open to debate, maybe even rewriting. But this never happened for Negi, so enawed by the campfire stories and legends that had sprung up around his illustrious sire he had naturally assumed the man was made of pure gold.

It was rather surprising to find that most of it was only painted on, and the bits that were real made your skin turn green.

Kuwabara tried comforting the boy, but just what could you say to someone who's role model, who just happened to be the boy's own father, turned out to be a sham? He instead drew the boy's attention to the conversation between the two mages, watching as Eva struggled in the water, wondering why she didn't just climb out.

"L-Look! Thousand Master!" the chibi-nosferatu called out earnestly, a desperately chibified look on her face "Maybe we could cut some sort of deal!"

"I don't cut deals with kids." Nagi replied with a deadpan expression, sweat dropping at the look of flustered outrage on his opponent's face.

"Kid?" Evangeline snapped, looking insulted at the, understandale, mis-assumption "I'll have you know I'm well over a century in age!"

"HA!" Negi cackled, a manic grin on his face as he titled his head back "A kid AND an old maid to boot!"

Evangeline's face turned red as she flailed her arms in the water "I AM NOT AN OLD MAID!"

"Calm down mistress, you're sinking faster!" the puppet opined concernedly, only to be ignored by the irate vampire as she raged at the indignity.

"You want a deal?" Nagi asked, looking down at his opponent "Okay: You stop chasing me and renounce evil forever, howzat?"

"NEVER!" Evangeline snapped, only to shiver as Nagi's features shadowed into a look of comical EVIL.

"Figured as much," he noted wryly, "On to plan B; I'll place a chaos curse on you, confining you to bodies that will prevent you from doing anyone harm ever again."

Eva blanched, looking understandably nervous, and not because of the man's threat. "A third-rate wizard…accessing top level power?" she stammered, before renewing her endeavors to climb out of the pit "You're opening a door for total disaster, beyond anything you're intending!"

"Hmm, the old man at Mahora definitely wanted a security guard." Nagi noted, as if the Vampire had said nothing "Lessee…Manman-Terrotero…Christ this spell's long…"

"H-HELP ME!" Eva squealed, tears spurting comically from her face as she tried to get out of the pit "S-SOMEONE HELP ME!"

"Mistress, are we in trouble?" the puppet asked, even as the magical energies surged around them like raw ozone.

"YOU HAVE TO ASK?" Evangeline snapped, whipping round to snap at her enemy as he raised his staff "STOP YOU SON OF A-!"

Whatever the dreaded vampire Evangeline had been about to say was cut off as a bolt of magical lighting crashed into her severing her ties to magic and binding her form into its infantile state.

"INFERNUS SCHOLASTICUS!"

* * *

_Whoo! Headtrip!_

Evangeline awoke with a gasp, shivering as she caught her breath. She hated that dream, the most humiliating defeat of her life from the man she had chased all over the world and back. She could never forget the horror when she realized she couldn't summon her magic, how not even Chachazero could react to her, merely lying around like a, well, puppet with its strings cut, though its mouth seemed to operate just fine.

A snort drew her attention to the foot of the bed, near leaping out of it at the sight of the two senseis slumped against it, dozing lightly. Kuwabara, with his hand on Negi's shoulder, seemed to be drooling on the sheets.

"What the hell are they doing here?" she wondered, settling herself quickly, glaring at Negi in particular "Hmmph, I said I'd kill him." She frowned, a light blush adorning her cheeks "But…are they nursing me back to health?"

Negi awoke with a jolt, Kuwabara falling off the bed with a snort, his skull making contact with the floor. "Are you okay, Eva-san?" Negi insisted, flushing slightly as he realized she'd woken up before them.

"Yeah fine." Eva deadpanned, not looking a the son of her old enemy "Listen…how abut you leave now…I rest up…and we pretend this day never happened."

"Uh…yeah!" Negi replied, looking flustered, "Fine, it never happened, and we'll pretend this letter of challenge never happened either! S'long!"

He barely made it three feet from the bed when Eva noticed the staff in his hands, more specifically how tight he was holding it. "HOLD IT!" she called out, frowning suspiciously "Why were you holding that staff in your sleep?" He flush grew, as did her ire, power soaring off her subconsciously as she glared at him "Don't tell me…you weren't watching my dreams? Well? WERE YOU?" The look on Negi's face was all the answer the Nosferatu needed. "YOU WERE! WHAT DID YOU SEE?"

"Nothing interesting!" Negi insisted, waving his arms frantically as he tried to ward off his shrieking student/nemesis with his staff.

"LIAR!" Eva snarled, somehow lifting the bed above her head in her ire "FATHER AND SON! I'LL KILL YOU BOTH TOGETHER!"

It was only the timely arrival of Chachamaru that enabled Negi to escape with his life, the youth brushing past the gynoid as she opened the door, a seething Evangeline standing there as she watched him go. "I am glad to see you're doing better master." The gynoid noted, setting the antibiotics on the table as she guided the enraged vampire to the stairs "I see your fever has gone down too."

Eva huffed, letting out a long, annoyed breath as she allowed herself to be led back to her room, where Kuwabara was still lying recumbent on the floor. "How long does he intend to sleep there?" she wondered bitterly, wondering if he'd been dragged into her dream as well.

"Master?" Chachamaru enquired, looking over her master carefully "Have you grown?"

Eva glared at the automaton in annoyance; her height and appearance were tender areas that her servants knew to avoid at all costs. Not even Chachazero, her former partner and the most maniacal piece of timber in existence, had the gall to bring it up. "I hope for your sake that isn't an attempt at humor Chachamaru." She grit out, employing all her powers of self-control not to rend the gynoid limb from limb, "You know that vampires of my caliber do not age."

"Nonetheless, you appear to have grown since I left." Chachamaru insisted, a clicking noise that the vampire had grown to associate with her optics scanning an image sounding out "Indeed, a whole inch by my estimations."

Eva frowned, looking at herself in a mirror carefully. She certainly didn't FEEL any different, but now that she looked closer she could see that her pajamas seemed a little shorter than they had before.

A snort from Kuwabara alerted them to his rise from slumber, the professor sitting up and wiping drool from his chin. "Man, what a weird dream." The tantei muttered, rubbing his eyes tiredly "Vampires and fake wizards…" he shook himself, looking into the eyes of his students.

"You're awake." Eva noted, frowning as Kuwabara seemed to tense, but the look of hostility from before was gone "Sleep well sensei?"

Kuwabara got to his feet, eyeing the duo carefully. A part of him, most likely the remnants of his days as a street fighter, was berating himself for falling asleep when a vampire was in the room, but the more rational side noted that if they had wanted him dead they could have done so while he was asleep. "Where's Negi-bozu?" he asked instead, trying to draw attention away from himself, only for Eva to scoff and Chachamaru to bow.

"Negi-sensei left the cottage in a hurry." The gynoid replied honestly "I believe he seemed quite desperate to get away."

"Nosy little dream peeping brat." Eva muttered under her breath, looking oddly flustered as she did so. Kuwabara looked between the two and sighed in relief.

"That's alright then." He noted, getting to his feet, "So long as he's alright there isn't a problem."

Evangeline cocked an eyebrow, blinking at the look on the Tantei's face, or more accurately, his eyes. The face was genial, but there was steel in those eyes, the steel that had been tempered in battles to the death. She knew that look well, she saw it every time she looked in a mirror.

"Anyways, you'd better rest up Eva-chan." The tantei insisted, patting the blonde on the head and carrying her back to bed, despite her protests, "Can't having you missing class anymore."

Eva was about to snap a reply when she noted the bandage on the man's arm, raising an eyebrow in interest as she was tucked into bed. "You fed me?" she asked, regarding the man in honest surprise.

"Yeah well," Kuwabara replied, flustered at the vampire's stare "Didn't seem right ta let you feed off a kid…and I got more ta spare anyways."

"So what now?" Eva asked, looking over the man carefully, "I suppose you'll be looking for a crucifix in the near future."

Kuwabara blinked, looking over the girl carefully, before chuckling and ruffling her head. "You've got me for a roommate, I think that's more than enough punishment."

He turned his back on the girl, bowing to Chachamaru as he made his way out of the room and down the stairs, missing the flustered look on the vampires face.

* * *

_Elsewhere..._

"A vampire huh?" Genkai noted sipping at her tea thoughtfully as she sat on her sofa in the hotel room "And Dark Evangel to boot?"

"You know her Genkai shihan?" Botan wondered, regarding the aged reiki master in confusion. While it wasn't unlike her to have associates among demons, she didn't strike the ferry-girl as the type to allow a threat to humanity run loose.

"Indeed, we met a few times in my youth." Genkai noted, "Though it was mostly the result of chance and notoriety, neither of us actively sought the other out." She regarded the ferry girl carefully "That said, she definitely isn't someone you take lightly."

"And Kuwabara-kun is living with her!" Botan exclaimed, gripping her head as she tried to get the facts straight "What are we going to do?"

"Nothing." Genkai replied "Konoe, that's the dean, assured me that the measures keeping her from calling up her powers are still intact." She smirked at the girl "And even if she did somehow break loose, I think it would do Kuwabara some good."

"Good?" Botan replied, looking terrified at the thought "The Dark Evangel regaining her powers in the human world is the furthest thing from 'good'!"

"On the contrary," Genkai countered, "Kuwabara has never experience a true trial by fire, he's never had to make such heavy hearted decisions as Yusuke, Kurama and Hiei have." She sighed "He's always been a sheltered one, but as tantei he can't afford to hold onto that side anymore, something has to go, and what better way for it than in battle?"

"I hope you're right," Botan muttered, looking out the window in concern "I hope you're right."

* * *

_With Eva..._

There was no doubt about it. She didn't know how it had happened but there was no denying it.

Evangeline gazed at herself in the mirror, biting her lip idly as she ran her eyes over her petite figure, dressed for that morning's classes. 'A whole inch taller.' She noted 'And not only that, I'm starting to fill out a bit as well.'

This was true, evident in the way her uniform, which hadn't required adjustments since she first received it, was now slightly tight around certain parts. Her shoes were also noticeably tighter, though thankfully her underwear and socks didn't require much change.

'How is this possible?' She muttered, 'It's true lower class vampires age if they don't drink regularly, but a high-daylight walker like myself shouldn't be able to, even if I can only feed during a full moon my body isn't affected.' She glowered at herself, not unappreciatively, 'How did this happen?'

"Master?" Chachamaru called out, entering the room with a polite bow as per the norm "Kuwabara-sensei is waiting for us below."

"Tell that Neanderthal I'm coming." Eva replied, blinking as a sudden thought came to mind "Chachamaru, did I drink or eat anything at all since I fell sick yesterday?"

"No, unless you fed whilst I was away, mistress." The gynoid replied honestly, her tone neutral.

'Which means that the only thing I've had since then was that Neanderthal's blood.' The dark evangel muttered, a smirk crossing her features 'Kukukuku…interesting…'

"OI!" Kuwabara barked out from the doorway, startling the duo "You may have been sick but that's no reason for making us late!"

Evangeline didn't even have time to argue before Kuwabara grabbed her, slung her over his arm and dashed down the stairs and out the door, Chachamaru using her thrusters to keep up, bags in hand.

* * *

_Later..._

'I'll murder him!' Evangeline hissed, gripping her arm tightly as she watched Chachamaru type away at the computer.

The Neanderthal had ignored her demands to release her, barging into Negi's class to deposit her in her seat, heedless of the comments the girls were making! He'd even had the GALL to pat her on the head and tell her not to cause trouble, like some overprotective father!

'Trouble? I'll kill everyone here and use their corpses as marionettes!' the former mistress of darkness swore 'I'll drain the brat until he's a husk! Then I'll drain that bastard and turn him into a ghoul!'

"Anything?" she grit out, glaring at the figures on the screen as if they were the culprits, the sub-zero aura she was giving off enabling the computer to run incredibly fast.

"As I thought." Chachamaru reported, "There appears to be a barrier around the campus that is suppressing your magic master, most likely part of the Thousand Master's Infernus Scholasticus curse." She nodded and more information appeared on-screen "The barrier surrounds the entire academy, and is a considerable electrical drain."

"I'm surprised we didn't realize it sooner." Evangeline muttered, though it was no fault of her own, Chachamaru had only been her partner for the last three years. "It's because we kept focusing on magical solutions, rather than high tech ones."

"I'm pretty high tech myself." Chachamaru opined, shutting down the computer and subtly erasing any signs that they had accessed the grid through it.

"Still," Eva snorted, as they moved to the roof "some 'wizard' that Thousand Master." She scoffed "Anyway, now we can implement our endgame." The smirk on her face grew "Heh, I can just picture the surprised look that's going to be on that boy's face!" she threw her head back and laughed "HA! It's hilarious!"

Chachamaru eyed her master as she cackled away on the roof, warring within her processor as she tried to reach a decision, her higher programming winning in the end. "You should know mistress," she reported "That Negi-sensei had made a probationary contract with a partner."

"WHAT?" Eva snapped, rounding on the gynoid in alarm "You knew this? Why didn't you tell me!" she frowned thoughtfully "Who is it?"

"Kagurazaka Asuna." The gynoid reported, looking down in disgrace "As for way…I do not know myself. At least I told you now." She bowed "Sumimasen."

Eva regarded the gynoid carefully, before sighing and shrugging it off "I'm not thrilled…but okay." She reasoned, "Having a partner won't help him anyway." She frowned "The main concern is that baka Kuwabara, if he interferes it could be trouble." She frowned, before smirking, fangs glinting in the morning light "I think I have an idea…come get me in five hours."

With that she leapt into the air, only to blink as her foot caught the edge of the roof, sending her crashing face first into it.

"You're taller now master." Chachamaru reminded the cursing vampire "You need to be more careful when you leap."

* * *

_That Night..._

Kuwabara sighed as he patrolled the halls, Sayo hovering alongside him comfortingly. No matter how many years it had been the idea of being inside a school after hours still gave him the creeps. True Mahora was nothing like Sarayashiki jr. high, for one thing the guy that had designed it had some serious class and obviously a degree in architecture, but the same haunted feeling hung in the air. Were it not for the fact one was hovering beside him right now, the tantei was sure he'd have suspected spirits walked the halls at night.

"You sure you're okay Sayo-chan?" he asked, looking over his shoulder at the spectral girl "I know this can't be very exciting for you."

Sayo shook her head, though internally she was nervous. She dimly recalled all the times she'd wander the halls, looking for someone who'd notice her, driving off three caretakers, including that one with the cat who'd screamed something about 'Peeves' before heading back to Britain. In truth she'd been terrified of the empty hallways, regardless of the fact there was little that could harm a ghost, to have someone with her now was comforting.

Movement off to the right startled Kuwabara, who spun his flashlight to the right to find someone had left a window open, the blinds rattling in the wind. "I'm getting pretty jumpy huh?" he muttered, earning a giggle from Sayo, turning the beam back only to find the naked form of Okochi Akira standing before him "GAH!"

"Kuwabara…sensei…" the swim star called out dazedly, her eyes glazed as she staggered towards the tantei as if she was drunk "Need…help…"

"Akira-san!" Kuwabara stammered, catching the tall girl and wrapping her in his jacket carefully, before gripping her shoulders "What happened? Why're you in school at this hour?"

"Makie-san…wanted a bath." Akira replied, looking dazed, "power went out…everything went black…something…in bath."

'Shit! A demon?' Kuwabara swore, holding the girl gently as she seemed to zone out, glaring up at the path to the baths 'How'd it get past me?'

"Sensei." Sayo muttered nervously, regarding the slumped form of Akira nervously as the man lay her against the wall "What should we do?"

"My job." Kuwabara replied, clenching his fist as he spun up the path, face set into a line of grim determination as the spectral girl followed him. The tantei burst into the bathroom; shoulder rushing the door and sending it flying off its hinges with a yell.

"So glad you could make it…" A cultured voice purred, drawing his attention to the small pagoda in the bath hall, atop which sat a woman in a familiar leather choker and bodysuit, sitting with one leg crossed over the other, resting her chin on the back of her hand "Kuwabara-sensei."

Kuwabara gaped at the woman, feeling an odd note of familiarity in her features, wondering where on earth he could have seen such a creature and why the hell he had the sudden vision of towering castles, thunder, lightning and candlelit dinners with lots of red wine. "You look surprised sensei." The apparition noted coyly, quirking a delicate eyebrow in his direction "What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?"

"E-Eva-chan?" Kuwabara stammered, finally noting the resemblance to the vampire, the tail end of the dream he'd seen coming back to him "But…the barrier…the spell!"

"You saw all that?" Evangeline noted, sounding slightly annoyed "Another thing to add to the list of crimes I've suffered at the hands of the Springfields." She smiled, a dangerous one that promised pain and ecstasy in copious amounts "Still, enough about that, what brings you here on this wondrous night?"

"You know exactly why I'm here!" Kuwabara shot back, snapping out of his daze as his mental barriers shot up, the effect of the glamour fading "You attacked Akira! And Makie-chan too by th' sound of it!"

"Makie?" Eva repeated "Oh, Baka-pink, that was some time ago sensei." She waved a delicate hand dismissively "Barely counted as a pick me up." She smirked "But then again, didn't you already KNOW that?"

Kuwabara grit his teeth, recalling the vision from before with a grimace. So Evangeline HAD been involved with that, but he'd been too stupid to put two and two together. Even if he HADN'T had his brain bashed in he should have realized afterwards that 'fangs' and 'vampire' went hand in hand.

"Don't be too hard on yourself sensei." Evangeline assured him, "In fact, why don't you join me for a drink?"

Kuwabara blinked as something, make that two somethings, grabbed his legs, blinking down at the sight of Makie and Ako, their eyes glimmering in the darkness, a single fang poking out from under their upper lips as they held on like limpets. "What th'-?" he swore, struggling to throw them off but hesitant to use too much force in case he hurt them "What'd you do ta them?"

"Don't you know?" Evangeline remarked, floating down to stand on the water "Those bitten by vampires can either be turned, changed into ghouls or made into unwitting thralls." She smirked "The first two are too much of a hassle to watch over, and the whole 'virginity thing' really isn't something I tend to look for, but thralls?" the smirk widened "Well, all you need to do is order them and they do as they're told."

Kuwabara continued to struggle, almost succeeding in pulling the girls off when a pair of arms wrapped under his own, pulling him upright. He turned to look into the impassive face of Chachamaru, blinking as he noticed Akira walking into view; The swim team captain unbuckled the holster for Sayo's tablet, tossing it aside even as Yuna began unbuttoning his shirt.

"There's something I have to admit sensei." Evangeline noted, prowling forwards as her thralls and partner held the mortified tantei down, "I've lived for well over a century, I've tasted many things in that time, bitter and sweet, foul and savory, all things one does when time isn't an issue." She smirked as she stroked his neck with a delicate fingernail. "And while it is true that I need a specific type of blood to lift the curse in full…" she leaned in close "I have NEVER tasted blood as delicious as yours."

Kuwabara's eyes widened as he felt the fangs sink into his neck, his struggles dying as his vision swam before him, falling into darkness amidst the sound of the giggling thralls and Sayo's frantic screams.

* * *

Que Nadesico music.

What ho! Kuwabara has fallen prey to the dark temptress!

(Slurping noise, as if through a straw)

Kuwabara: GUWARGH!

What foul deeds shall evangeline sow across the campus? What fate awaits Poor Negi-kun!

(Slurping noise continues)

Oh the agony! of the indignity!

Next time on reikai sensei-kuwabara: Twighlight interlude!

Adult Evangeline: Open your eyes to the twighlight.

R&r for more sultry vampire action.


	18. Chapter 18

Hoo boy...things really hit the fan didn't they?

Here's hoping Negi-kun can pick up the slack!

* * *

18th period.

Half-way across the campus town Genkai froze, a shiver racing up her spine as she stared in mild concern at the teacup that had shattered in her hand. "Genkai-shihan!" Yukina called out, looking over at the psychic in concern, the candlelight making the Koorime's ruby orbs dance, "Are you alright?"

"Just fine dear." Genkai assured her, looking up at the darkened campus with a concerned scowl 'It's that dimwitted suitor of yours I'm worried about.'

* * *

_With Negi..._

"The pitch black dorms are pretty scary, huh Chamo-kun?" Negi opined, walking along with his vermin-ermine partner. Ever since Albert Chamomile had turned up that day in the springs the young Magi had taken him up as a familiar, though the rodent's tastes left much to be desired for a proper English gentleman. He blinked as he felt the ermine go rigid, noting the way his tail stood out in fear like a living duster "What's wrong?"

"Aniki!" the ermine called out "Can't you feel that strange magical power in the air? It appeared the second the power went out!"

"Really?" Negi wondered, looking around the darkened fottpath with understandable concern "Do you think it's a ghoul or something?"

"I have no idea just what it is but it's something big!" Chamo replied, holding up a paw for emphasis "And I'd bet the crown jewels it's that Evangeline person!"

"B-but she's already changed her evil ways!" Negi replied, recalling how the girl had turned up in his class that morning, and how cheerful Kuwabara had been dropping her off.

"That's why I told you we're being soft!" Chamo insisted, looking to the sides warily for lolita vampires "There's no way she's just gonna give up that easily!"

"Negi Springfield…" a voice called out, drawing the startled duo's attention to a naked Sasaki Makie, who grinned at them, a single fang glinting at them "Evangeline challenges you to battle…come to the main bathhouse in ten minutes."

"Aniki!" Chamo called out, pointing at the girl from his mortified friend's shoulder "Evangeline bit her! She's put her in a thrall!"

"See ya Negi-kun!" the enthralled gymnast chirped, back-flipping over the rail, giving the boy a rather interesting view, before using her ribbon to swing across the rooftops like a deranged, giggling acrobat from hell, leaving the stunned ten-year old gaping.

"Call in Ane-san!" Chamo insisted, snapping the mage out of his daze "Your only hope is the probationary contract with Asuna!"

Negi whipped out his cell phone, staring at it for a few minutes before snapping it shut with a determined gaze. "Forget it Chamo-kun, I'm taking her down myself!"

"Wha-Has this blackout left you completely in the dark?" Chamo shot back, fur standing on edge as he watched the boy haul out a sack he'd apparently stashed behind a wall, strapping on an impressive assortment of magical weapons and catalysts "Aniki, slow down! It doesn't matter what weapons you're packing, you can't beat Evangeline on your own! Slow down and think it over!"

"I did think it over and this is the result!" Negi yelled back at the ermine as they took off on the wand "I wont risk Asuna-san to solve my problem!"

"If Eva and Chachamaru eradicate you it'll be the WORLD'S problem!" Chamo insisted, trying to make his friend see reason "At least CALL Ane-san!" At Negi's yelled refusal he leapt off the mage's shoulder "Fine! You want on your own? You GOT on your own! I'm going for help!"

* * *

_As Chamo scarpers..._

Negi watched the ermine run off with a relieved sigh. Chamo was many things, pervert included, but a warrior he was not, all it would take is a misplaced spell and his friend would be a fur collar. He could tell as he got closer that Evangeline's magic was vastly superior to that of the girl he'd faced several nights ago, it was like comparing a ripple to a tsunami.

"Evangeline-san!" he called out, bursting into the bathhouse with a yell, noting the doors seemed to have been torn off their hinges "Where are you? Please release Makie-san!"

"Over here boya!" a voice called out, chuckling darkly as magical light lit the room, revealing Makie, Yuna, Akira, Ako and Chachamaru decked out in maid uniforms, posing around a sensual woman in a leather dress and choker, golden tresses falling around her like a waterfall "So you're here without a partner?" the woman noticed, smirking coyly "Is this Bravery? Stupidity? Or perhaps a bit of both?" she smiled at the intense look on the boy's face "Problem?"

"Yeah!" Negi replied, gripping his staff before him "Who are you and where is Evangeline?"

The woman stumbled, growling as she canceled her glamour, revealing herself to be the chibi-vampire, decked out in a black nightdress "I'M EVANGELINE YOU LITTLE TWIT!" she snapped, blushing in embarrassment, before getting herself under control "Sorry I couldn't wait for the full moon," she drawled "But I figured why wait it out when I could suck it out. 'It' meaning your blood."

"And you dragged Yuna, Akira Makie and Ako into it." Negi noted, face settling in determination "But I can't let you do that," he promised "I'm here to stop you, and to keep you from hurting anyone else!"

"Tough talk." Eva shot back, snapping her fingers and pointing at the instantly on edge mage with a coy smirk , "You go girls."

"Hiding behind helpless classmates?" Negi called out, backtracking as the enthralled girls moved towards him through the water "You're cruel!"

"Cruel?" Eva repeated, chuckling coyly as she tilted her head to the side "Is that what you said? Well I am an evil wizard." She smirked at the boy like a predator "I'll make you regret, coming here alone." She help up a hand "First things first: Strip him."

"NOT AGAIN!" Negi wailed as the girls fell upon him, lifting him off his feet and stripping him of his armaments and coat, giggling and pawing at him all the while. "HANDS OFF MY WAND!" he called out, though considering the circumstances this could refer to the staff Makie had wrestle out of his hand or a certain part of his anatomy he was desperately trying to keep his pants pulled over "Sorry about this!" he called out, grabbing a catalyst phial and tossing it into the air "FLANS EXARMATIO!"

Ako and Akira screamed as the catalyst detonated, shredding their clothes and leaving them standing dazed, allowing Negi to roll aside and grab his staff on solid ground. "Rastel Maskil Magister!" the welshman called out "Aer et aqua, facti nebula illis somnum brevem! Nebula Hypnotica!"

Yuna and Makie leapt aside just as the sleep inducing fog enveloped their denuded comrades, Ako and Akira slumping against Negi in a daze as he set them gently on the ground amidst a chattering of bats as Evangeline summoned her cloak, setting Chachamaru on the boy as she summoned her magic.

"Lic Lac La Lac Lillac." The undying magi called out, "Septendecim Spiritus Glaciales, inimicum concidant!" she smirked as Negi dodged the attacks whilst making for the wall window "I don't think so! SAGITTA MAGICA: SERIES GLACIALIS!"

Seventeen icicles launched themselves at Negi, who just barely managed to throw himself out the window, only for the bedamned things to follow him like homing missiles. Flipping upright he swung himself onto his staff, taking potshots at the projectiles with his spell gun whilst simultaneously avoiding hazards.

* * *

_With Eva..._

"A magic gun?" Evangeline noted, gripping her cape as she flew after the boy "That's pretty rare…to bad he's out of ammunition." She smirked "Still, where'd he get the money to equip himself like that? Should I ask him before or after I drain him?"

Negi, meanwhile, had run into a little interference in the shape of a vampiric Makie and Yuna, the former using her ribbon to latch onto his staff and swing herself up, before kicking out at him, giving the mage a panty shot that many would die for, the boy's attempts at dodging resulting in the loss of the few weapons and catalysts he'd managed to hold on to.

Yuna kept up the pace from below, launching basketballs at them with the force of a cannon, Negi deflected some with his barrier and hands but Makie had no such luck and was therefore left in a daze as they passed under a flag, the thick fabric knocking her off the staff and falling with her on top of a startled Yuna.

Negi winced as the two girls' heads cracked together from the fall, promising to fix them up just as Evangeline's laughter cut through the air.

* * *

_Elsewhere..._

Genkai scowled as she listened to the noise outside with trepidation. There were wards in place on the dorms to prevent the sound of magical battle from reaching the wrong ears, she knew that well, but even so the power flying through the air should have alerted anyone with an inkling of sixth sense to the scene. Kuwabara had a fair deal more than an 'inkling' in regards to sixth sense, with only his sister Shizuru surpassing it, and she was no combatant.

'So just where is that lunkhead?' the aged psychic muttered, grimacing as another magical explosion shook the air outside like something out of a warzone 'For that matter, why can't I sense his presence?'

* * *

_Mahora Bridge..._

"NIVIS CASUS!" Evangeline chanted, an explosion of sending Negi flying, only his barrier keeping the poor ten-year-old afloat, a light skin of frost covering his skin and clothes.

'She's too strong for me to match her in pure power.' He muttered, breathing heavily at having to block the rapid-fire spells the vampire was launching at him as his face settled into a determined frown "But if I can lure her to the right place-!'

"Where are you running to?" Eva laughed, "Hoping to hole up somewhere so you can recite spell? Not likely!"

Negi wailed as stalagmites burst out from the bridge beneath him, sending him head over heels as he fell off his staff, crashing into the ground on his shoulder.

"Method to madness." Evangeline noted, touching down several feet away "The curse prevents me from passing beyond the academy city bridge." She smirked at him "Hoping to escape across the bridge sensei? Very clever…albeit extremely cowardly of course."

Negi grimaced at the words, watching as the duo advanced on him, gripping his staff determinedly. 'Keep walking' he noted, watching Evangeline's feet as she made her way toward him like a cat in a cream factory 'Just one more step…NOW!'

Evangeline balked as a magical array appeared beneath her, strands of light lashing out and restraining her and Chachamaru like the finest flytrap paper. 'And we walked right into it!' the vampire seethed, struggling against the magical strands indignantly. To be tricked into one of the oldest traps in the book by a ten year-old? She needed to get out of this place!

Negi's crowing over his apparent 'victory' wasn't helping the vampire's legendary temper any either. "I've won, admit it!" Negi insisted, pointing his staff at her excitedly "Now surrender and swear a wizard's oath to cease all wrong-doing forever!"

Eva smirked, a little intrigued by his bravado, considering how well he'd played her. He hadn't been dodging needlessly; he must have set this up in advance before coming. "Well played kid." She noted, "Color me impressed." Then she started laughing, unnerving the once confident boy.

"W-what's so funny?" Negi demanded nervously, waving his staff "This spell is far too powerful for you to escape and you know it!"

"Powerful?" Evangeline repeated, that coy smirk of hers firmly in place "Yes. Escape-proof? No." she nodded toward her partner "Do it."

"Beginning execution of the spell release program." The gynoid announced, her ears opening up to reveal several different arrays "My apologies, Negi-sensei."

Negi could only watch in abject horror as the spell bonds lost their glow, the magic draining out of them at an accelerated pace and cracking as Evangeline snorted. "I've had fifteen years of this lousy existence to plan for all eventualities boy." The vampire scoffed, regarding him coyly "You seriously think I didn't consider this one?" she shrugged as the spell shattered "So much for that."

"YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" Negi yelped, backtracking fearfully as he attempted to put some much needed, not to mention desired, distance between himself and the duo, attempting his activation key, only for Chachamaru to dash forwards and relieve him of his staff, which Evangeline hurled over the side. "NOOOO!" the boy wailed, sobbing as he gazed over the side of the bridge "How could you? GIMME BACK MY WAND! YOU DON'T GET TO CHEAT ME OUT OF MY LEGITIMATE VICTORY!"

Evangeline twitched at the boy's childishness, watching as Chachamaru held him back with one hand, before delivering a smack to the cheek that knocked him off his feet. "Accept your defeat like a man!" she snapped, pointing at him for emphasis "Admit you're outsmarted and you lost! Even your father, whom I despise, would just laugh at his setbacks and overcome them!"

She regarded the blurry-eyed form before her and sighed, relenting somewhat as she kneeled down before him "Still, you did well today boya." She admitted, "Going solo was reckless but gutsy." She opened her mouth, revealing her fangs with a hiss "Well then, I'll just suck your blood if you don't mind."

Negi minded very much, but he highly doubted Evangeline cared for his opinion at the moment. Chachamaru's was another matter however. "Mistress." The gynoid noted concernedly, a hand raised as if toobject "Negi-sensei is only ten years old, don't you think you're being a little cruel?"

"Don't worry I'm not going to kill him." The vampire replied, making a comment about killing little girls, before smiling coyly at the scared boy before her "Let's just say I've started to take an interest in the boy-eh?"

"HEY YOU!" Asuna bellowed, running across the bridge towards them, Chamo over her shoulder and a VERY irate scowl on her face "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"

"Well look who's here." Evangeline noted, recalling the only person to kick her in the face with a smirk, before nodding to her partner "Chachamaru."

The Gynoid dashed forwards, ready to incapacitate the redhead when Asuna hurled something between them. A burst of light blinded everyone facing it, Chachamaru stumbling forward as her optics tried to reset themselves to prevent damage, allowing Asuna to dash past. "You're challenging me?" Eva noted, smirking coyly as she held out a hand to blast the insolent wench "Don't make me laugh!"

Asuna's flying kick connecting with the vampire's cheek didn't feel very funny. If anything it hurt more than the last time.

'Again!' the vampiress swore as she flew through the air 'She broke through my barrier again!' she righted herself, hissing angrily only to find that her opponents had vanished "ARGH! Where'd they go?" she snarled, ignoring Chachamaru's apology and concern for her nose, only to whip round as a burst of magical light arose behind them "OVER THERE!"

Negi, Asuna and Chamo stepped into view, staring up at the duo as they hovered in midair. Evangeline smirked, crossing her arms across her chest. "So what's the deal kid?" she taunted "Relieved because now you can hide behind your girlfriend's skirts?"

"Ignore her Negi!" Asuna countered pointing at the vampire with a confident smirk "She's just afraid of a fair, two-on-two equal fight!"

"Fair?" Evangeline noted, regarding the scene with a smirk "Is that the word you used?" she chuckled darkly "From what I can see there are three of you over there, and only two of us," she held up her hand "mind if I even the odds?"

"Gonna call out another student to shield you?" Negi shot back, only to shiver at the look on the dark magi's face as she snapped her fingers "Lets go! Contract valid for 90 seconds! Kagurazaka Asuna!"

Asuna dashed forwards, wondering why Chachamaru wasn't doing the same, only to shriek as something crashed down right in front of her, knocking her off her feet. She glared up at the figure, only to blanch as the dust cleared, gaping at it along with Negi as the face came into view.

"K-KUWABARA-SENSEI?"

It was indeed Kuwabara, but a little different than the last time anyone had seen him. The man was decked out in what looked like butler attire, a black waistcoat over a black pinstriped shirt with a black silk tie, a silver chain, probably for a pocket-watch, extended from the waistcoat to the pocket of his black trousers. His smart looking black shoes stood atop the crater he'd created with his landing, eyes set into a flinty scowl.

"Surprised sensei?" Evangeline noted, "You seem to have problems with me using students, will a faculty member be a better choice?"

"Kuwabara-san!" Negi called out, looking between the man and the vampire in desperate confusion "How…why did you do this to him!"

"The how should be self-explanatory by now." Eva quipped, lifting her lip to reveal an ivory fang "As for why? Well," she shrugged "I was hungry." She snapped her fingers "Butler? Take out the trash."

Kuwabara didn't reply, he merely launched himself forwards at impressive speeds, Asuna yelping as she leapt out of reach of his grab, only to wince as his finger tapped her arm.

'YIPES! Only a tap and it felt like he punched me!' she thought, backtracking to a safe distance, wincing as she felt her upper arm bruise 'What'd it be like if he-!'

Her eyes widened as Chachamaru lunged at Negi, whirling round to face the gynoid only for Kuwabara's shadow to appear between them. The classmates looked up to see the enthralled science teacher descending on them like some wrathful deity with his fist drawn back, leaping aside just as it impacted with the bridge.

BOOM!

Asuna's scream tore through the air, the shockwave from the blow causing her pigtails to fly behind her as she blocked her face to keep the debris out of it

* * *

With Eva...

Evangeline sweat dropped, staggering as the bridge shook from the force of the blow, her spell canceling mid-incantation. 'Okay…maybe making him a mindless lackey was mistake.' She noted, wincing as the bridge moaned ominously 'But with that sixth sense of his I couldn't risk him regaining control mid-fight.' She rose off the ground, eyeing the damage to the bridge in trepidation 'as it stands he's at less than half strength overall, probably even less because of that weird barrier restricting his ability to draw on it properly…'

She shivered as one of the support beams groaned and cracked, Kuwabara's punches effectively dismantling the structure. 'Glad I'm not limited to the ground anymore.' She muttered, raising an eyebrow as Negi's chanting caught her attention. 'Heh, trying something when my guards down boya? Not very gentlemanly of you.'

"Rastel Maskil Magister!" Negi called out, wind and thunder energies whirling around him "Veniant Spiritus Aeriales Fulgurientes!"

"Lic Lac La Lac Lilac!" Evangeline countered with a smirk "Veniant Spiritus Glaciales Obscurants!" She giggled at his look of shock, only to smirk as it set into one of rigid determination.

"Cum Fulgurationi Flet Tempestas Austrina!" the welsh magician called out, the magical energies charged to capacity "JOVIS TEMPESTAS FULGURIENS!"

"Cum Obscurationi Flet Tempestas Nivalis!" Evangeline countered, darkness and cold enveloping the air around as she leveled her hand at the boy "NIVIS TEMPESTAS OBSCURANS!"

The clashing of the two spells was a clashing of the elements themselves. Wind and thunder raged against darkness and ice, magical shrapnel flying through the air. Normally such a confrontation would have had everyone gaping in awe, but the majority of Mahora's citizens were currently indoors, either asleep or passing the night away in various activities, and the only remaining witness were otherwise occupied.

* * *

_With Asuna..._

Asuna panted for breath as she dodged a punch from Kuwabara-sense that would have crippled her or worse. Chachamaru had made the mistake of trying to tag-team the girl alongside the sensei earlier, only to be sent flying as a punch collided with her midsection, the sound of cracking metal heralding the gynoid's flight into one of the arches, where she lay deactivated.

'At the very least it isn't two on one anymore!' Asuna rationalized, her uniform in shreds and a little unnerved at how Kuwabara-sensei's features hadn't changed in the slightest "Are we sure Chachamaru's the robot?' the redhead called out frantically to a stunned Chamo "'Cause he may not be Schwarzenegger but Sakurako's terminator theory's seeming a lot more credible right now!"

"Ane-san! To the right!" Chamo called out, holding on for dear life as Asuna leapt into the air, Kuwabara's punch shattering the patch of bridge she'd been standing on "Holy! Where'd they find this guy?"

"Does it really matter?" Asuna yelled, tearing up comically as she flipped backwards, putting some distance between them as she kept the enthralled instructor busy. A sudden surge of magical energy knocked them all off their feet as Negi somehow overpowered Evangeline's Dark Blizzard, the backlash crashing into the Dark Evangel.

"Think that did it?" Chamo wondered, only to sweatdrop as the mist cleared, revealing Evangeline hovering in Mid-air, and not much else "Damn, she really lives up to her title doesn't she?"

A series of beeps sounded out from the previously comatose form of Chachamaru, the gynoid reactivating with a jolt, a look of alarm on her face just as the first set of lights flickered on "Power is being restored precisely 7 minutes 27 seconds ahead of schedule!" she announced, looking up at her master in concern "MISTRESS!"

"Eva-san!" Asuna yelped, watching as the dark wizard let out a pained shriek, as if struck by the world's largest bug-zapper, before falling headfirst towards the lake. The redhead saw Negi leap over the rail, only to blink as a figure in black blurred past her "Eh?"

'Fool.' Evangeline muttered, watching as Negi fell towards her with a deadpan expression 'He burned up all his magic back there, he'll die with me.' She smiled grimly as she recalled another fool that helped her, despite the earnings she'd given him, how she'd followed him across the globe and back, until her imprisonment here…

A small hand wrapped around her wrist, causing her to look up into the desperate face of her homeroom teacher. He called out for his wand, only to blink as a large pair of arms wrapped around them both.

"REIKEN!"

Asuna blinked at the yell, before gaping as the something shot up out of the darkness below, a tall pillar of energy that seemed to bend like a pole vault. Kuwabara was on the other end, a startled Negi and Evangeline held under one arm as he vaulted back onto the bridge, landing with a yelp on his back, the smaller two on his stomach.

"Mistress!" Chachamaru called out, dashing forwards to fuss over the vampire, even as Asuna moved to check on Negi. The wizards in question were staring at their rescuer in shock, as he panted for breath, lying spread-eagled on his back.

"Bungee jumping without a bungee?" Kuwabara gasped, cocking an eyebrow coyly "I thought you were smarter than that bozu." He regarded Eva with an exhausted smile "Daijoubu-da, Eva-chan?"

Evangeline merely gaped at the man in shock, disbelief and confusion marring her features before smiling wistfully. "Baka."

* * *

notes:

Nebula hypnotica: illusion mist.

jovis tempestas fulguriens: Jupiter's thunder storm (Raging Storm of Thunder)

Nivis Tempestas Obscurans: Dark Frozen Blizzard (Blizzard of Darkness)

Kuwabara's outfit: Think Dark Walter from the Hellsing Manga, after he'd regained his youth through Dok's tampering.

Cue Nadesico music!

Huzah! The evil has been vanquished!

Eva: Hello? Still alive here.

But trouble breaks upon the horizon!

Chisame: More wierdness? ugh.

This could turn out to be the greatest challeenge yet!

Next time on Reikai Sensei kuwabara: journey to disaster!

Kuwabara: Can't a guy get a break ariund here?

Genkai: Shut up and pour me some tea.

Kuwabara: yes ma'am.

R&R!


	19. Chapter 19

Thought there'd be more of a reaction to walter-bara...

Ah well...on with the show!

* * *

19th Period.

It was still dark by the time the group made their way back to their respective residences. Chachamaru had gone off to the lab for a few repairs, apparently her frame had received some considerable damage, at least enough that warranted some immediate concern, but not before dropping her master and roommate home.

Evangeline watched said exhausted roommate as he slept, sitting on a chair while he sawed through redwoods on her sofa, surrounded by all her dolls. He still wore the butler attire she'd dressed him in, but the tie and buttons lay undone and he seemed none the worse for his brief tint as a mindless automaton. Sayo's tablet lay on the small desk, the spirit hovering over the man protectively as he slept, shooting the chibi-vampire suspicious looks if she drew too close.

'First Nagi…then the boy… now THIS idiot?' Eva grimaced, recalling the devil may care grin on the man's face before he passed out 'Is it my destiny to be rescued by fools with good intentions?'

Kuwabara snorted, rolling over to reveal the unblemished skin of his neck, the wound having healed as Evangeline's magic faded. She was tempted to see if she retained any form of control over the man but held back. For one thing it would require the barrier being dropped again for her to have anywhere near enough power to attempt it, and with his sixth sense in full force since his revival she doubted she'd get the chance.

For another she didn't want to have to repair any furniture if Sayo went on another warpath, they'd be picking cutlery out of the walls for a while as it was. As it were, she settled for watching over one of her apparent saviors, taking in everything she could as she tried to understand exactly WHY he and the boy fascinated her so.

* * *

_The Next day..._

"Thanks for yesterday Asuna-san." Negi repeated for what had to be the umpteenth time that morning, a smile on his face as he looked up at his roomate and probationary partner.

"No biggie," Asuna replied with an amused sigh "I'm used to teachers who can't take care of themselves, buy me a coffee and we'll call it even."

"Me too aniki! An Expresso!" Chamo called out from the girl's shoulder, only to blink as a familliar scent drew nearer, and he wasn't talking about the blue mountain blend, "Heads up, trouble at 1 o'clock!"

Negi blinked, turning round to come face to face with none other than a flushed Evangeline herself, Chachamaru at her side as always. "G-Good Afternoon, Evangeline-san, Chachamaru-san!" he greeted, still a little unnerved by what he'd seen last night and residual nervousness.

Hey, victory or not, it was a fluke and he knew it, 'Dark Evangel' was the magical world's equivalent of the boogieman after all, no way in hell he could have taken her without the barrier.

"What am I chopped liver?" Kuwabara's voice called out, walking up with a cup tray and box of donuts "You two stopped by for breakfast too?"

"Hello?" Evangeline muttered, looking mortally embarrassed as she swiped a coffee from the taller man, Chachamaru bowing politely in greeting "Mortal enemies, remember? Mortal enemies don't act chummy."

Asuna held her chin and regarded the chibi-vampire coyly as she sipped the coffee, Kuwabara wisely deciding to take a step back as he recognised the telltale signs of plot development "Ah, that's right!" the redhead noted "You were in love with Negi's father weren't you?"

Kuwabara grabbed a newspaper and held it up just in time to deflect the worst of the spit-take, dropping it and stepping forwards to pull an embarrassed Evangeline off of a startled Negi. He really was begining to detect a pattern in the madness that was Mahora. Not enough to prevent it, but at least enough to avoid getting dragged in.

"Oh what does it matter,he died ten years ago after all." " The slightly mollified vampire muttered, a flush adorning her face as she resumed her seat, shooting Kuwabara a look for the manhandling "He promised he'd return someday and undo my curse..." She sighed, closing her eyes at the memory "but, the day he kicked the bucket so died my hope, so now I'm stuck in this dreary mortal existence."

Kuwabara shot the girl a look of concern as he watched her sip her coffee, ignoring the looks Negi and Asuna were shooting each other until the boy spoke up. "Evangeline-san!" the prodigy insisted "My father, the Thousand Master…I've met him! I know it!"

"You met who now?" Eva replied, looking at the boy in confusion "Impossible! He died a decade ago! In fact, I can TELL you how he-!"

"I don't need to hear it," Negi interrupted enthusiastically "because no matter how many people claim he died…I know I met him, in the dead of winter six years ago."

The look on Evangeline's face was a sight to see, equal parts shock, disbelief and hope, akin to one who has seen the light at the end of a long, perilous journey through a dark tunnel. "He's alive?" she repeated, trembling slightly "The Thousand Master…is alive?"

Kuwabara reached out to comfort the girl, only to blink as she began to cackle, softly at first, but then a full on, maniacal howl that drew quite a few stares as they quickly vacated the restaurant.

"Oh that's beautiful!" Evangeline cackled, walking between the senseis as the roommates brought up the rear "I should've known, he wouldn't stay dead even if you DID kill him!" she threw back her head again "Idiot! Would've been better if he had died once I get my hands on him!"

'Well at least she's in a better mood.' Kuwabara noted, recalling how the vampire had to be literally dragged out of the house after her loss the previous night. Fortunately Chachamaru had returned on time to point out the vampire was acting childish, earning teacup to the face for her troubles.

"There's Kyoto." Evangeline suggested, startling the taller sensei out of his musings "He lived in a house around those parts for quite some time." She smiled at Negi and held up a coy finger "If he IS alive that house may shed some light as to his whereabouts…you DO know where Kyoto is right?"

"What's this then?" Kuwabara asked, looking between the two spellcasters in confusion "We find a lead Bozu? What's in Kyoto?"

"Kuwabara-san, do you know where Kyoto is?" Negi asked, looking up at the older man hopefully, "It has to do with my Father!"

"Sure I do, went there on holiday once with some pals from Tokyo U." the lanky professor replied "But what's this got to do with your pops?"

"You thinking what I'm thinking Chachamaru?" Asuna asked, the gynoid nodding in agreement, only to blink as Negi's yelp filled the air.

"PLEASE STOP BITING ME!" the child-sensei squealed, Evangeline pouting up at him with a deadpan expression that made her look absolutely adorable.

"C'mon? A little tip for the handy info?" she shrugged at his rebuttal before smirking at Kuwabara, who shivered and took a step away.

* * *

_Genkai's hotel room..._

"Kyoto huh?" Genkai noted, raising an eyebrow as she watched the lanky professor balance on a spike on the roof of her hotel "Sounds like fun, but do you really think you need to go?"

"Without a reason ta cause trouble Eva-chan's no threat ta anyone." Kuwabara replied, grimacing as he tried to maintain his balance "Besides, all th' teachers associated with 3A are going, not just Negi and me, it's school policy."

"I was referring to your duties as Reikai tantei, baka." Genkai muttered, balancing on her shoe-point with the ease of practice.

"Yusuke was running all over th' place too remember?" Kuwabara pointed out "This way I won't have ta waist my own damn cash. And besides, the dean upped security th' other day when Eva pointed out low level spirits were getting past the barriers."

"I'm impressed." The psychic noted wryly "You actually thought that answer through, looks like there's hope for you yet." She flipped off the spike to stand before the man "In that case take this, if you have the time there's a woman in Kyoto I think you should meet."

"This better not be a blind date Baachan." Kuwabara muttered "Because I won't consider marrying anyone other than Yukina-chan!"

"Baka!" Genkai snapped, removing her foot from the man's face "She's married, or was last I heard, I just think that while you're in the area you should seek out some proper training."

Kuwabara mumbled an affirmative before looking at his watch, yelping at the time and dashing over the rooftops to the main building, an impressed Genkai watching him leave.

'He's certainly fitting in well here.' She noted, recalling seeing two girls, one obviously Chinese, dashing off in the same manner several times.

* * *

_Dean's Office... _

"Sorry I'm late!" the tantei called out, blinking as he espied the shadowy form of Negi leaning against the wall "Bozu? What's wrong?"

"A slight…dilemma over the destination for the school trip." Dean Konoe replied, sweat dropping at the aura of gloom that the boy emanated "I tried suggesting Hawaii, but it seems its Kyoto or nothing."

"What kind of problems?" Kuwabara asked, looking between the two in confusion and not a little concern "Some kinda epidemic?"

"Nothing so serious." The dean assured him, waving a hand for emphasis "It's just, there's…resistance…from another party."

"Another party?" Negi asked, perking up slightly as he looked up at the dean from his pot on the wall "What, Kyoto City hall?"

Kuwabara didn't miss the look that passed between the other two, nor the way the dean's eyes shifted from himself back to Negi repeatedly. "This has something to do with magic doesn't it?" he said plainly, causing Negi to jump and the Dean to quirk an eyebrow.

"Hoh? You seem to be living up to your reputation Kuwabara-kun." He noted calmly, looking between the two senseis with an evaluating expression "How long have you known of the existence of magic?"

"Long enough." Kuwabara replied "If it's any consolation I daresay you half expected me to find out, seeing as you bunked me together with Eva-chan."

"Indeed," the aged wizard noted, stroking his beard "and as you guessed, it does indeed involve magic…more specifically it concerns the Kansai Magical Association."

He stood up, pointing to a map of Japan, upon which the regions of Kanto and Kansai were designated with two little figures, one the dean, the other a cowled Onmyo priest.

"You see, I'm the director of the Kanto Magical association." The dean explained "And our two associations…" the two figures started glaring lightning bolts at one another "well lets just say we haven't gotten along in quite some time, so there's politics involved." He nodded at Negi "And when the Kansai MA learned that a Magical Sensei would lead the trip…" a little figure of Negi waddled onto the map, only for the Priest to bar him entry "well, it didn't go down well with them at ALL."

"So it's MY fault?" Negi stated, looking upset in every sense of the word, only to blink as Kuwabara stepped forward, putting a hand on the ten-year-old's head.

"What if I led th' trip?" the tantei asked, looking the dean in the eye, his face solemn "They don't have any qualms with ME do they?"

"No…" the dean admitted, stroking his beard "there shouldn't be any problems, but just in case." He reached into his robes and pulled out a letter "Negi-kun, this here is a letter that is to be delivered, in person, to the head of the Kansai MA." He held the young mage's eyes "Say and do nothing else whilst there." He regarded both of them "There are forces that would rather our two associations remained the way they are, so I expect you two to be constantly vigilant, as they have no qualms involving mundanes in their disputes."

"Non-magical, NORMAL humans." Negi explained, recognizing the look of confusion on his friends face "Sort of like 'muggles' from the Harry Potter series."

"Never got round to reading that." Kuwabara admitted sheepishly, earning a chuckle from Negi, only for both to fall silent as the dean coughed.

"My granddaughter Konoka was born in Kyoto," he explained "I understand the house is still there." He regarded Negi solemnly "I trust you've been keeping your magical tendencies under wraps?" he asked "Her parents wish her to remain unaware of such things…regrettable I think…" he sighed "but we must honor their wishes."

Negi nodded and Kuwabara kept his face neutral. If it was revealed that Negi had let slip he was a wizard they wouldn't be getting it out of HIM. In the end the dean dismissed them, only for Kuwabara to pause. "Oh yeah, completely slipped my mind." He muttered, turning to face the dean whilst Negi raced off to parts unknown "I bumped into an old woman a few days ago, said she had a message for you."

'Heh, I still got it.' Konoemon preened mentally, stroking his beard as he cocked his eyebrow "Do tell?" he asked cheerfully, leaning back in his chair "What did she have to say?"

"Something about calling in on your bargain." Kuwabara muttered uncertainly, only to blink as the man turned several shades of white, his eyes bulging out of his mis-shaped head "You okay sir?"

"This woman…" Konoemon stammered, sweat dripping down his face "did she have a face no-one could think ill of and her hair in a bun?"

"Uh yeah?" Kuwabara recalled, sweat dropping slightly at the look in the man's eyes "She had her granddaughter with her, a creepy kid in goth-Loli clothes with a long eared cat...somethin' wrong sir?"

Konoe Konoemon idly wondered how on earth anyone could mistake this for a GOOD situation as he dismissed the man, pulling out a bottle of extra strength sake from a hidden compartment in his desk. If he was going to come to grips with the demands of the demon of Hinata city, he wanted to be well and truly shit-faced beforehand.

"Of all the things I could have promised her." He muttered, forgoing the cup and taking a chug from the bottle "my life, my position, her own country…why on earth did I agree to this?"

The one saving grace he could afford himself was that, according to his spy network, there were worse prospects than what was lined up, particularly if he tried to get out of it.

"Forgive me Konoka-chan." He wept comically, taking another long draft "But these old bones aren't made to last like they used to."

* * *

Two days later...

Kuwabara was standing at the Ohmiya train station along with Seruhiko, Shizuna and Nita-sensei, chuckling as an energetic Negi arrived, backpack in tow, ready to set off on the first leg of their journey. Officially Kuwabara was in charge of the trip, but as the senior staff member he deferred to Nita's authority, which was a good thing because the 'oni' really knew how to sort out a bunch of hyperactive schoolgirls without incident.

"He sure knows what he's doing huh?" he whispered to Sayo, who giggled as she watched Nita terrorize the Narutakis into submission with a single glare, Fuka near wetting herself as they hid behind a chuckling Kaede.

"Who are you talking to Kuwabara-kun?" Seruhiko asked suddenly, raising an eyebrow in confusion at the startled tantei as he jumped.

"Uh…just…myself!" Kuwabara assured him, nodding towards Nita with a nervous smile "Just a little enawed at how easy he makes it look."

"Nita's got loads of experience dealing with problem students." Seruhiko admitted, chuckling as the man hounded the lagging cheerleaders into place like a champion sheepdog from hell "He isn't the 'oni' of Mahora for nothing after all." He leaned in closer to the tantei "Personally though, I think he really needs to get laid."

"I HEARD that Seruhiko." Nita growled out, not facing the shocked bishounen, though considering the looks of comical terror on the Narutakis' faces this was a good thing "I hope you're up to handling all the paperwork for this trip."

'Oni indeed.' Kuwabara sweatdropped, watching as Seruhiko broke out in comical tears, shaking his head at the sight and boarding the awaiting train. Once the girls were seated he stood up alongside Shizuna sensei and cleared his throat.

"A-ight, girls listen up!" he called out, catching their attention "I'm sure we've all got a lot of free time on this trip so you'll have enough time ta really party." He waited for the cheers to die down "But lets try not ta go overboard alright? Last thing we need is someone getting lost or injured, Kyoto's a big place after all, and I doubt th' dean would take kindly to a bill for damages either." He chuckled as the image of a towering dean entered his mind "That said, lets try ta avoid any misha-SHIT!"

The reason for his profanity was the arrival of the bento-cart, which had caught him quite sharply on the knee as it passed. The girls giggled, and in some cases blushed, as the lanky professor hopped down the aisle, holding his injured limb and swearing a blue streak, Shizuna sensei tittering as she looked on as the speakers warned the man to stand clear far too late.

* * *

_Later..._

"Not exactly th' best start huh?" Kuwabara muttered, limping slightly as he patrolled the train, shooting a dark look at a chuckling Negi "Don't see what's so funny Bozu, if that'd been you, we'd be picking you off th' floor."

"I'm not THAT short!" Negi countered, though the pout on his face really ruined the image, resulting in the both of them laughing as they entered the next compartment to find the girls playing a card game.

"Hey, is that realm of spell craft?" Kuwabara wondered, blinking as he spotted the logo on the playing mat set before them in surprise.

"Good eye sensei!" Yuna noted with a smile, holding her card before her "How'd you guess? You into the card game trend too?"

"Sorta." The tantei admitted with a smirk "A buddy of mine at Tokyo U thought the design up, he and I spent a load of time on them." He smiled wistfully at the cards "Good times."

"No way!" Haruna gasped excitedly, nearly revealing her hand to Yuna "So you basically had a part to play in the making of this game?"

"Sorta…" Kuwabara admitted, "A few spells, some tactic cards…" he grinned and pointed to the manga-ka's hand "You might wanna hold off playing that until next turn though."

Leaving the squealing girls behind the two senseis walked out the corridor and into the next compartment. "Pretty lively huh?" Negi noted with a grin, only for Chamo to speak up.

"Let's keep focused on the big picture here Aniki!" the ermine reminded the boy "We need to keep an eye out for the danger the dean warned us about, what if a spy from the west got on board?"

At that precise moment screams erupted from the compartment behind them.

* * *

_In the compartment..._

"HAH! In your face Paru!" Yuna cackled, holding up a card with overblown dramatics "Flame ball card, 5 point damage to Paru!"

"I don't think so!" Paru countered, playing another card "I play Spirit Batter! That cancels a projectile and sends the damage back at you!"

"EH?" Yuna gaped, eyes wide in shock as she dropped her card on the mat, completely caught off guard "how'd you figure that out?"

"Kuwabara-sensei, remember?" Paru chuckled, smirking as she gestured for the basketball player to dish out the penalty chocolates, only for Yuna to hurl her box in the air as a frog leapt out. Kaede, who had an instinctive disliking for the little amphibians, tried to get away, only to balk as the whole compartment was overrun, Shizuna-sensei's canteen literally spewing the things out as she fainted.

The door to the compartment opened, admitting two concerned sensei, who gaped as the amphibians raised merry hell amongst their students. "What th' hey?" Kuwabara swore, stumbling between the little things so as to avoid squishing them "If I find out this is someone's idea of a joke-!"

"It's not us sensei!" the Narutaki twins insisted, tears streaming down fumika's cheeks "Kaede-nee's afraid of frogs, so we never use them in pranks!"

"Eeeew! Help us sensei!" Makie called out, looking highly distressed "They're all slimy and creepy…!" She held down her skirt as a frog leapt between her knees "And they're everywhere!"

"Just calm down now-WHOA!" Kuwabara yelped, slipping on a slimy piece of floor and falling backwards, landing with his head in Kaede's lap "DARGH! SORRY!"

"S'alright." Kaede muttered, trying not to pass out from the sheer number of slimy amphibians that were hopping all over the place. One of them jumped onto Kuwabara's face, where it let of a rather disgusting fart.

"THAT DOES IT!" Kuwabara roared, leaping to his feet in a berseker rage and pulling a mallet out of thin air, much to the alarm of the girls "IT'S HAMMER TIME!"

* * *

(Cue the smash brothers hammer music)

Negi watched as his colleague went on a rampage, the hammer rising and falling repeatedly upon the hapless amphibians, the girls cheering as the enraged sensei stormed up and down the compartment. He felt a moment's pity for the little frogs that were making for every available exit, but was more concerned with where they came from.

'This has to be the Kansai MA's doing.' he deduced, subtly stepping out of Kuwabara's path as he lumbered past 'Could they have infiltrated the train!'

He reached into his coat for the letter from the dean, sighing as he pulled it out, only for a swallow, of all things, to swoop down and pilfer it. Eyes wide, Negi tore off after it, slipping past Kuwabara, who was starting to look like he was enjoying himself a little TOO much.

"Aniki!" Chamo called out, holding on for dear life as the ten-year-old gave chase "That things an Onmyo God! It's made of paper! Blast it!"

Negi would have complied had he not run fill tilt into the bento woman's trolley, muttering an apology as he dashed down the aisle after the retreating figure. "Hold it!" he called out, only to blink as he espied Sakurazaki Setsuna from his class standing with the letter in hand. She returned it to him with a bow, the boy thanking her ecstatically, only for Chamo to frown at her.

"I don;t trust that girl..." the pervin' ermine muttered, catching his friend's attention as he stared at the girl's back "That paper bird flew right at her" he insisted, eyeing the swordswoman warily as she walked back to her seat "I'll bet anything she's the spy from the west!"

Neither noticed the scowl on the face of the bento woman as she watched them march back to the compartment, where the sound of rampaging pachyderms revealed Kuwabara's frog hunt was still in full swing.

* * *

Cue Nadesico music.

The battle of the train has been won!

Fumika: EEW! FROG GUTS!

But beware ladies, for Kyoto is fraught with peril!

Chisame: What are you-GACK!

Our heroes must watch out, for there is evil afoot!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuabara: Kyoto, the deadly stage!

Chisame: Who the hell tried to push me over the railing?

R&R for more zaniness.


	20. Chapter 20

Well the trip's underway, how will our heroes fare this time?

Also, Kuwabara WILL get time to shine, but don;t forget, most of the opponents in this are women, so he can;t fight all aout due to his moral code.

...an issue that will be addressed soon...I assure you...

* * *

20th period.

Kuwabara sighed as he watched the girls run about the Kiyomizu temple stage, more accurately he watched for any potential mishaps as some of them leaned over the railing to get a better view of the infamous 'jump off' spot. We wasn't certain that the Kansai MA would try something so drastic, but if they had sabotaged the walkway the tantei was ready to swing into action.

"The dean told me the Kansai MA wouldn't sabotage a cultural landmark." Negi assured him, looking up at the taller sensei comfortingly "At least…not one on their home turf." he amended

"That's a relief." Kuwabara sighed, relaxing his guard slightly as he popped his neck joints stiffly "Still, better safe than sorry eh?"

"Hey Negi-kun!" Makie and the Narutaki twins chirped out, cutting off Ayaka in mid suggestion as they pushed the flustered boy forwards "Let's go, let's go!"

"Go where?" Kuwabara muttered, sweat dropping as Negi tried to protest, only to be pushed forwards against his will by the enrgetic girls.

"Jiju shrine." Yue responded in her usual bored tone, slurping away at some bizzare juice box "It's really popular with women for predicting love."

"Just had to say that out loud didn't you?" Kuwabara muttered, watching in trepidation as several of the more lively members stampeded towards the shrine at Yue's words. Sighing, the tantei shook his head and followed, only to find them gathered at a group of stones.

"These are the love stones." Yue explained, sipping at her drink of the day "Legend says if you can walk from one stone to the other with your eyes closed your dream of love will come true."

"You girls don't really believe in that stuff do you?" Kuwabara asked humorously, the self-proclaimed warrior of love blinking as Makie, Ayaka and Nodoka lined up to give things a whirl "Uh…never mind…"

"Sensei! Why don't you try?" Yuna insisted, the other girls clamoring around him encouragingly, much to the tantei's alarm and confusion.

"Yeah! Maybe your love will return your feelings!" Misa suggested, a coy smirk on her face as she nudged the professor "You know, a little T&A…?"

"THERE'S MORE TA LOVE THAN GETTING YER FREAK ON!" Kuwabara bellowed, spiking with indignation, only to blink as the girls gaped at him in shock.

"Wow…" Haruna noted, chuckling in amusement "I never thought I'd see the day a guy said something like that." She chuckled again, pushing up her glasses "You go sensei."

Kuwabara resisted the urge to strangle the manga-ka long enough for Makie and Ayaka's screams to catch their attention. He blinked at the sight of the cleverly hidden trap in the middle of the path, several frogs leaping out as the two girls screamed and tried to climb out.

'Hell of a start to the trip!' the lanky professor muttered, grabbing the two girls by their collars like soaked kittens and depositing them on dry land, not before checking for any residual magical aura. 'Not a trace.' He muttered 'But to pull off a trap like this they'd have to have known we were coming…the night before? Naw, how many people could have set it off since then?'

He blinked as several distinctly drunken hiccups filled the air, blanching as he turned to discover several girls lying in a disorderly heap, rather like Yusuke's mom used to be around 4o'clock in the morning, only with their clothes still intact.

"Kuwabara-san!" Negi called out from the roof of the shrine,how he'd clambered up there was a mystery "Someone's been pumping sake into the water!"

'How in th' heck are they doin' this?' Kuwabara ground out, slinging half a dozen girls over his shoulders 'They got ninjas workin' for 'em or somethin'?'

From the roof of an adjacent shrine, Sakurazaki Setsuna watched the proceedings with a neutral expression, before sighing disappointedly.

'…It seems I have no choice…'

* * *

_Later..._

"Sakurazaki-san?" Kuwabara repeated, the tantei blinking as he leant against the wall, listening in along with Asuna to Chamo's theory about the supposed spy "You sure 'bout this bozu?"

"Well not really." Negi admitted nervously, tapping his fingers together nervously "True she has been acting rather suspicious but that doesn't mean…"

"That can't be right," Asuna noted uncertainly "Konoka told me that she and Sakurazaki-san have been tight since they were kids." She held her chin "Tho' now I think about it I've never really seen them talk."

"Hold on Ane-san…" Chamo pointed out; looking suddenly alert and serious, never a good sign "You said that they've been friends since childhood?"

Kuwabara and Negi reached the same conclusion at the exact same time. The dean had told them Konoka was originally from Kyoto; if Setsuna truly was a spy, then the fact she'd been exposed to Konoka from a young age probably meant things were worse than they thought.

They broke off their discussion as Shizuna-sensei showed, dressed in a bathrobe and flushing from the steam of the onsen. Kuwabara nodded his thanks for letting them know the other teachers were hitting the hay before patting Negi on the shoulder. "Let's soak away our worries for a bit." He suggested, nodding as Asuna made herself scarce "After a day like today I'd say we deserve it."

Negi certainly didn't disagree, and the two men, and ermine, soon found themselves relaxing at the inn's open-air onsen, marveling at the scenery and the starlit sky.

"Things like this make you really appreciate the simple things." Kuwabara noted, sighing as the hot waters soothed his travel stiffness and removed the tension that had been building up in his muscles all day.

"The breeze feels so good!" Negi agreed, the cool air a charming contrast to the heat of the bath, slumping as Chamo reminded him of Setsuna. The trio blinked, turning as one as a noise behind the pillar they were leaning against caught their attention, choking down embarrassed squawks as the object of their conversation knelt on the flagstones bathing with a bucket of mixed water.

"Why in the hell didn't anyone tell me it was mixed bathing here?" Kuwabara hissed quietly, trying not to make too much noise as he sank as low as possible into the water. He gripped a stunned Negi and leering Chamo by their heads and attempted to drag them away from gawking at the girl when she spoke out.

* * *

_Setsuna's POV..._

"I'm in a tough spot here." The slim beauty noted, her features contemplative "Things could get interesting…especially if Negi-sensei is a wizard and Kuwabara-sensei is who the rumors say he is."

The dean had confided in her as to the identity of the homeroom teacher prior to his arrival, not that this was necessary; the name Springfield carried quite a lot of weight, far too much to be considered coincidence.

However, news amongst those few demons with loose tongues eventually got around, especially when you worked with Tatsumiya, who's information network was almost as impressive as the dean's, if a bit more far reaching.

Rumor had it that during the last dark tournament the guest team had won, an act that hadn't happened for 50 years. Three of the fighters were human, one of which was the renowned psychic Genkai. The other two were a pair of teenagers that had been getting in the way of the criminal underworld, more accurately the part of it that recruited demons.

Setsuna had been too young to remember that far back, she doubted if she'd even been born at the tournaments closing, but the champion had gone on to make a name for himself amongst demons, even those in Ningenkai knew of the half-breed heir of Toushin Raizen, Urameshi Yusuke, and his two demon comrades Jaganshi Hiei and the reincarnated Youko Kurama.

The name of the fifth member of the team eluded her, primarily because demons didn't really care much for humans when such high level threats existed amongst their own ranks, but all she needed was for Tatsumiya's contacts to come up with the video of the last tournament to confirm her suspicions, for if she was right then she had a potentially powerful ally on her side.

Sound to the left caught her attention, the Shinmeiryuu warrior shattering the lamp with a pebble, dousing the onsen in darkness before gripping Yunagi tightly. "Who's there?" she called out, scowling as she heard several noises make a bid for the exit "Trying to escape? Shinmeiryuu Ougi: ZAN GAN KEN!"

* * *

_With Negi & Kuwabara..._

Negi squawked as the boulder he ducked behind was sliced in two, the large chunk toppling over as Kuwabara backed away hurriedly. The mage cast a disarming spell at the girl, trying desperately not to look at her as he did so, a satisfying clatter as the nodachi was sent spiraling through the air sounding out, only for Setsuna to launch herself bodily at the larger target, darkness and mist obscuring their features as she jabbed her hand into his throat, striking him sharply between the legs at the same time. Kuwabara collapsed with a choked scream, even as the girl launched herself at Negi, gripping his neck tightly as her left hand traveled south, tightening around it's mark like a vice.

"WHO ARE YOU?" the girl demanded sharply, eyes glimmering threateningly as she tried to make out the features of the figure before her in the dark "If you don't tell me I'll crush you!" She added, tightening her grip for emphasis, a nervous blubber emerging from her opponent, even as the moon peeked out, revealing the traumatized features of her homeroom teacher "Ne-Negi-sensei?" she stammered, backing away embarrassedly, only to trip over the huddled form of Kuwabara, blinking at him in shock "K-Kuwabara-sensei too?"

The two men gaped at her in horrified awe, one cradling his bruised package whilst the other was so traumatized by the mishandling of his own he merely stood there, a trembling, violated wreck. Setsuna looked between the two in embarrassment, before bowing her head so low it near touched the water.

"Uh…sorry…" she stammered in embarassment "going for the delicates is a theory of attack in my line of work so…" she bowed again "S-sorry sensei!"

"Just as we Suspected!" Chamo declared, outrage at the mishandling of his friend and source of pactio-related coinage overwhelming his natural cowardliness "You're a spy from the Kansai Magic Association aren't you?"

"You're wrong! It's all a mistake!" the girl insisted, grabbing her sword and sheathing it as she tried to cover her modesty with a towel "I, Sakurazaki Setsuna, am your ally for the time being!"

At that moment a scream tore through the night air, belonging to a girl both parties knew quite well.

"KONOKA-SAN!"

"OJOU-SAMA!"

Kuwabara lifted a head weakly as the other two dashed off, holding up a trembling hand as if to call them back, "Wait…for…me…" he squeaked, before collapsing face first into the onsen, his knees still needing time to recover.

* * *

_Setsuna's POV..._

A dozen images were currently racing through Setsuna's mind even before the last decibel of Konoka's scream had started. She could imagine the naïve, sweet-mannered girl being beset by numerous underlings from the Kansai MA, being carted off by summoned demons or hired mercenaries to parts unknown, where unspeakable acts would no doubt take place.

So naturally, the sight of Konoka and Asuna fighting a losing battle to retain possession of their undergarments from a horde of cheeky monkey golems left the swordswoman a little off kilter, it certainly threw Negi for a loop.

A particularly determined group managed to strip the heiress of the Konoe family of her unmentionables, before proceeding to leap around her in glee as she stared at the newly arrived duo in embarrassment. "AH! Set-chan! Negi-kun!" she stammered, blushing in childish embarrassment "I don't want you to see me naked!"

"What are these things?" Negi stammered, gaping at the little simians in mortification, only to shiver as the fury rolling off the girl next to him cause his hair to stand on end.

"You Perverted Monkies...!" Setsuna ground out, holding out Yunagi threateningly, her eyes glowing dangerously "What are you doing to Oujo-sama?"

"ACK Sakurazaki-san! What are you doing?" Asuna yelped, backtracking nervously, with good reason, from the murderous kendo-ka "Is that sword the real thing?"

"Don't do it!" Negi called out, grabbing the startled girl by the torso as she advanced on the menaces "You don't have to hurt the monkeys!"

"What are you doing sensei?" Setsuna demanded, mild annoyance in her tone "These are nothing more than second rate Onmyo gods! Killing them merely reduces them to pa-WHOA!"

A particularly crafty, or perhaps lucky monkey, had grabbed Setsuna's towel and yanked it off with enough force to spin the girl around, toppling the other two over as she fell on top of a startled Negi, legs spread in what could only be regarded as an improper position, his head between her thighs turning an amazing shade of magenta.

"H-HEY!" the flustered girl stammered, waving an arm in embarrassment as she got off the wizard "I told you I was your ally didn't I? Please don't get in my way!"

Negi's rebuttal was cut off as Asuna espied the monkeys trying to slip out to the onsen with Konoka. Setsuna was on her feet faster than greased lightning, sword drawn and ready to unleash one of her trademarks when something blurred forwards, a blade of reiki reducing the golems to their paper forms, a stunned Konoka blinking up at her savior.

"Alright." Kuwabara growled out, an annoyed vein bulging on his forehead as he held the dean's granddaughter close to his chest, making sure his towel was on tightly, the reiken dissipating before the dazed girl got a good look at it "I want answers, and I want 'em now."

* * *

_In the shadows..._

'DAMMIT!' a shadowy figure muttered from the tree line, biting her lip as the man she'd deemed a brainless Neanderthal displayed some impressive skills. Chi users weren't that unusual, this was Japan after all, but few had the dexterity to form weapons out of the stuff, favoring blasts of energy or reinforcing their own strength with it.

'This definitely wasn't in the report.' She muttered, growling slightly 'I made need some help on this one.' She blinked, a shiver running up her spine as the man turned his head and looked directly at her, the look in his eyes making it clear he knew she was there, and the Shinmeiryuu runt was following that look to her position. 'DEFINITELY need some help on this one!' she acknowledged, teleporting out of the tree to the safety of the staff changing rooms.

* * *

_Later..._

"Alright spill it." Kuwabara ordered, looking at Sakurazaki as she checked on the wards of the inn, Negi and Asuna seeing to Konoka back at the changing rooms "So you're not a spy, I get that, why should we trust you?"

"I said I was sorry." Setsuna repeated, looking away in embarrassment from the heated glare she was receiving from the older sensei.

'Sorry doesn't change the fact you nearly smashed my gonads to a pulp.' Kuwabara growled mentally but didn't say anything aloud. He admitted he was being childish but dagnabbit not even Urameshi had struck him below the belt and he was KING of dirty fighting.

"The enemy is stepping up their attacks." The girl uttered, subtly changing the subject with a cough, still avoiding Kuwabara's stare "If this escalates, sooner or later Konoka-Oujo-sama will get hurt." She frowned "We HAVE to prevent that."

"You don't hear me complaining." Kuwabara muttered, agreeing with the girl as they made their way to the lobby, where they met up with Asuna and Negi "But what I don't get is why these guys are targeting Konoka-chan, aren't you guys from Kyoto originally?"

"Most likely because of those in the Kansai Magic Association that did not approve of Oujo-sama being sent to Mahora in the east." Setsuna noted calmly, frowning at the thought "Perhaps those same people are trying to use Konoka Oujo-sama's power to take control of the entire Kansai MA."

"A coup d'état ." Negi breathed nervously, whilst Asuna tried to get the idea of Konoka having badass powers around her head. Could you blame her? The girl was so...normal!

"More like a civil war." Kuwabara muttered, his scowl deepening. This was some seriously smelly stuff they'd gone and stepped in, and from the sound of things they may as well have put a ribbon on their asses by bringing Konoka this far into enemy territory. "So what exactly are we up against?" He asked Setsuna "I doubt a few birds n' monkeys are all these bastards have up their sleeves."

"You guess correctly." Setsuna agreed "Unlike western Magi like Negi-sensei and Evangeline-san, it is common practice for Onmyo-sorcerers to summon demons of the superior and protective variety to shield them in battle."

"Great, so we got spell casters with demonic henchmen." Asuna griped, looking annoyed and concerned at the same time as she shook her head "Please tell me that's it."

"I'm afraid not," Setsuna sighed "The Shinmeiryuu, of which I am a student, have been contracted since ages past to act as shields for talisman users, so we may meet other warriors of the style on the trip."

"Better n' better." Kuwabara muttered sarcasticaly, shaking his head grimly as he eyed the slip of a girl "You sure you can handle them? They're your comrades after all."

"True…" Setsuna agreed, lowering her head "from their viewpoint my following Konoka Oujo-sama to the east makes me a traitor in their eyes." She smiled "But since I wanted to protect Oujo-sama I had no choice…I'll be content if I can protect Oujo-sama."

'She's loyal I'll give her that much.' Kuwabara noted, as the other two gaped at the swordswoman in awe, Asuna declaring her a friend outright.

"All for one and one for all!" the redhead declared, putting her hand out as the others complied "You too sensei!" she insisted, Kuwabara adding his own to the pile with a chuckle.

"Bozu, I'll handle the outdoor patrols, you stick indoors and keep watch." The tantei instructed, holding up a hand before the boy could continue "You're still a kid, you need to take a load off now and again, and I'm used to going a few nights without sleep…Todai graduate and all."

Negi didn't look to pleased but consented in the end, bowing to Kuwabara gratefully as he accompanied Asuna and Setsuna back to the dorms. Kuwabara waved after them, smiling encouragingly. He whirled round suddenly, reiken skewering the monkey that had been listening in on their conversation, reducing it to its talisman.

'Enough of these damn games.' He muttered, gripping the talisman between two fingers and closing his eyes 'Time I took th' fight ta them.'

* * *

_Elsewhere..._

Amagasaki Chigusa watched through the eyes of her golems as she waited for the group to settle down for the night. The tall one was going off to patrol the inn's surroundings whilst Oujo-sama's bodyguard was patrolling the halls with that child-sensei.

'They're pretty good at this.' She noted with a grudging note of respect, 'Still, they've underestimated me…which will be their undoing.'

She waited until she was CERTAIN the professor was well out of sight before slipping in under the guise of one of the Inn's workers, making certain to trip up as many of the mundane students as she could.

Hey, a girl's gotta have some kicks while on the clock. S'not like she was doing any lasting damage.

* * *

_With Asuna..._

Asuna sighed as she removed the coat she wore with her sleeping kimono, muttering to herself about everything that seemed to be going on. How in the hell had she gotten wrapped up in this mess? Oh right, she had to be the one sent out for snacks just as Negi rescued Nodoka.

'Coulda been worse.' She allotted, with a chuckle 'Coulda been the cheerleaders…or Kasumi.' She jumped as Konoka sat up, eyeing her sleepily "AH, Sorry, did I wake you?"

"Need go potty…" Konoka mumbled, still half asleep by the sound of things, she stumbled towards the restroom, Asuna shrugging and waiting up, just incase the monkeys, or whatever, tried anything. As the minutes went by she began to get worried, and Yue hopping around trying not to wet herself and demanding Konoka get out of the restroom wasn't helping matters.

'Boy, what the heck did Konoka drink before she went to bed?' the volatile redhead wondered, only to blink as Negi and Setsuna burst in, looking worried.

Needless to say the Kendo-ka didn't take too kindly of being made a monkey of twice in the same evening.

* * *

_With Chigusa..._

'Too easy.' Chigusa cackled, an unconscious Konoka held bridal style in her arms as she vaulted across the roof of the inn towards the train station 'That's what you brats get for underestimating me-URK!'

An arm like an iron girder shot out of nowhere and effectively clotheslined the talisman user as soon as she entered the train station, only the thick padding of her protective monkey suit saving her from a crushed larynx. She collapsed, coughing and spluttering desperately at the feet of her attacker.

"Going somewhere?" Kuwabara asked, his face carved from stone and eyes like steel flints "Bit old ta be trick or treatin' aren't ya?"

"D-damn…you…!" Chigusa choked out, not losing her grip on Konoka, who she held over her shoulder. "How…how'd you get here!"

"Little something called intuition." Kuwabara shot back, not letting her in on his reikan "I sensed your talismans in the area and came to investigate." He glowered at her "Now are you gonna come quietly or-!"

Chigusa hurled a talisman at the man, Kuwabara yelping as it set his jacket on fire, rolling to suppress the flames even as Chigusa leapt into the train. "Sayonara, sensei." The talisman wielder taunted over her shoulder, making for the apparent safety of the train, only to blink as the rest of the brat pack showed up "Hmmph, you're a tenacious bunch." She appraised, even as they boarded the train, Kuwabara sliding in just ahead of the door "maybe you should cool off for a bit…O-fuda-san, O-fuda-san: Aid our escape!"

The group could only gape in shock as a torrent of water blasted at them from the flimsy piece of paper, filling the cabin in seconds, spray trailing from the cracks and windows. Kuwabara tried to hold up against the current for a few seconds, reaching desperately for the talisman only to be swept off his feet and hurtled toward the back of the cab.

'Shit!' he swore, watching desperately as Negi, Asuna and Setsuna struggled against the current futilely 'At this rate they're gonna drown!'

"Fufufufu…." Chigusa chuckled, a coy look on her face as she held up her suit's paw to her lips, "Drown like the vermin you are."

* * *

Reikan: Sixth Sense; Kuwabnara's sixth sense is so strong he can find his way out of cursed mazes and even detect booby traps. It's also what enables him to form a sword out of reiki, unlike Yusuke, who can only fire energy blasts and power himself up.

Not to be confused with Reiken: Spirit Sword; Kuwabara's most versatile and oft used weapon of choice. In the anime, it makes a sound similar to a light saber when de/activated and used, and despite it's rough appearance, is rather sharp.

Cue the Nadesico Music

Oh no! what a predicament!

Chigusa: Ohohohohohoho!

Could our heroes wind up sleeping with the fishes!

Kuwabara: Blorp! Blugh! Glack! (TA HELL WITH THAT!)

What dastardly plans does Chigusa have for poor kono-chan?

Next time on Reikai-sensei kuwabara: Cosplay Convict!

Chigusa: You want to die too?

Review or be molested by monkey Golems!

Ukee!


	21. Chapter 21

Kyugan productions brings you...

Tantei on a train

Please, enjoy.

* * *

21st period.

The train hurtled through the night towards it's destination, the spray of water trailing from one of the cabins unnoticed, as the talisman that warded the scene from the public carried out its work.

Amagasaki Chigusa watched the scene before her with no end of glee, feeling the little brats were getting their comeuppance for interfering in her plans. What right did a western Magi have to judge her? After everything his kind and their debase magic had wrought? Sakurazaki was getting her just desserts for abandoning Kyoto as well. She didn't personally have a grudge with the big fellow, other than the clothesline back at the station, but he and the mundane were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

She blinked, watching in interest as Kuwabara pulled himself forward using the headrest of the seats, face set in a mask of determination as he inched ever so slowly towards the door to the next cabin. 'Not much looks-wise.' She noted, taking him in 'still, for him to still be moving against a current that fierce, he's gotta be plenty strong, with the stamina to back it up.' She sighed regretfully at the latter 'Ah well, them's the breaks.'

No sooner had she said this did Setsuna send a blast of chi-enforced air through the flooded cabin, using Kuwabara as a brace to steady herself. The current was reversed, the pressure turning towards the door and bursting it open, water spilling into the other compartments even as Chigusa cried out in alarm, trying to keep her head, and Konoka's, above water.

Fortunately, the train pulled into the next station, the doors opening automatically, spilling the half drowned occupants out on the pavement.

--

"You see that, Saru-onna?!" Setsuna called out, pushing Yunagi out with her thumb slightly as she glared at the talisman wielder "Now surrender Oujo-sama and take your monkey business elsewhere…or YOU'RE next!"

"You did pretty well," Chigusa admitted, impressed despite herself as she picked up her captive prize "But I'm not surrendering Konoka Oujo-sama."

She made for the hills, or rather the stairs of the station, grinning as she heard the telltale signs of her pursuers. 'Perfect…just as planned.' She smirked, slipping out of the suit, Konoka laying on her back near her, well within reach, even as she gazed down at the group. "Good job chasing me this far." She commended, lifting up a talisman "Sadly, this little game of Oni-gokko ends here…O-fuda-san, O-fuda-san: Aid our escape!"

A blaze erupted, forming the kanji for 'Large' that blocked off the steps, the group backtracking from the heat even as Chigusa chuckled. "You won't be getting over those flames." she predicted, smirking at her apparent victory over the brats "Ja-na, sensei-Tachi."

--

"Kuso!" Kuwabara swore, holding a hand over his eyes "Why's it always freakin' psychopaths that do the damn kidnapping?!" he grimaced sourly "Oi Negi! Got any ideas?"

"I can disperse the flames but that still leaves her guardians." Negi replied, already beginning his incantation "if I activate Asuna-san's pactio she and Sakurazaki should prove more than enough for them but I'll need time to set up another spell!"

"Then Time's what you'll get!" Kuwabara replied confidently "Just take out the fire, Sakurazaki, you and Asuna back me up, we're going after that witch!"

Setsuna blinked at how easily the older sensei had taken control, it was as if he'd been in situations worse than this, which was the only thing that could explain his calmness despite all things. Asuna merely eyed the lanky professor in amazement, he sounded a bit like Takahata-sensei when he got serious.

'ACK! Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts!" the redhead swore, slapping her cheeks to get back in focus, even as Negi finished his incantation.

"Flet Une Vent!" the Welshman chanted, snapping the girls back to reality as he aimed a beginner's wand at the flames "Flans Saltatio Pulverea!"

The flaming kanji extinguished, Sakurazaki and Kuwabara leaping up the stairs, weapons at the ready. Asuna caught up and even overtook her sensei the second her contract activated, blinking at her comrades in envy "How come I'm the only one without a weapon?" she asked, even as Negi called out to her.

"Asuna-san! I'm activating your pactio weapon!" the young Welshman yelled out earnestly, holding up the card in question for emphasis "It's called Ensis Exorcizans, take it!"

"Alright! Lay it on me!" Asuna cried, gazing at her hands as the weapon slowly materialized to form…a steel harisen. "WHAT THE HELL?!"

'When did this become a comedy sketch?' Kuwabara and Setsuna wondered in tandem, shrugging it off as they continued to advance on Chigusa, only to be blocked by…a giant stuffed Teddy Bear and the monkey suit. "Oh come on!" Kuwabara snapped, looking seriously pissed off "Is anyone takin' this whole thing seriously?!"

"What's wrong with my guardians?!" Chigusa snapped, looking disgruntled "They're cute!"

"The villain isn't supposed to look 'cute'!" the tantei shot back "I mean come on! You expect me to believe any self respecting demon looks like THAT!" He pointed at the guards for emphasis, the stuffed figures sweat dropping nervously and backing away from the digit as if it might go off. Asuna, feeling more than a little annoyed by the situation at the moment, took full advantage of their distraction to land a smart blow to the monkey's head, the creature dissolving with a cry and an echoing wail.

'How'd that damn girl repulse my monkey demon?!' Chigusa gaped, cursing herself for letting her guard down 'Who the hell are these people!?'

She cursed as Sakurazaki lunged at her, Kuwabara bringing up the rear along with Negi as Asuna drove off the bear with her fan, the demon not wishing to join it's comrade in the abyss. Just as the two attempted to double team her however, Kuwabara seemed to freeze, eyes shooting upwards and behind the woman, before lunging at Sakurazaki, pushing her out of the way with a yell, even as a white blur crashed into the floor before them.

"Kuwabara-sensei!?" Setsuna yelled, looking at the scowling tantei in shocked anger and confusion "Why did you do that? We had her!"

"If I hadn't…" Kuwabara muttered, gazing at the figure that was rising from it's own impromptu crater, coughing and dusting itself off "Then we'd have both been shish kabob."

Setsuna followed his gaze, only to shudder at the palpable killing intent radiating from the figure before them. She recognized it immediately as the battle aura of a Shinmeiryuu warrior, and was prepared to face one of her former comrades.

She wasn't prepared for a bespectacled girl in a frilly dress and sun hat that would make her any lollicon's wet dream, even with a Kodachi and Tanto in her hands.

"Yoroshku-desu." The apparition greeted politely, bowing slightly "I am Tsukuyomi of the Shinmeiryuu."

--

Silence reigned for a few moments, before Kuwabara turned to an equally stunned Setsuna, "Isn't the Shinmeiryuu YOUR school Sakurazaki-san?" he asked, nodding towards the new arrival "They really let girls like THAT join?"

"Times have…obviously changed." The kendo-ka muttered, looking mortified at the thought of anything so…frilly, being within a hundred paces of the training grounds, the elders would have had a conniption.

"Oh by all means, underestimate her." Chigusa called out, smirking as she regained hr footing, Konoka slung over one shoulder like a sack "Tsukuyomi-san, exterminate them."

"Hai," the girl replied, holding her swords up cutely before her "Now remember…go easy on me."

The next second blood filled the air, Kuwabara's eyes widening as a massive, bloody cross appeared on his chest, from which the lifeblood sprayed.

--

"Kuwabara-san!" Negi cried out, eyes widening as his friend fell on a heap on the floor, shooting Chigusa a glare as he channeled as much magic into his next spell as possible. "SAGGITTA MAGICA, SERIES AERIALIS!"

Eleven bursts of air launched themselves at Chigusa, only for the talisman wielder to duck behind Konoka, wary of the boy's strength after the stunts he'd performed prior. Negi's eyes widened and he altered the trajectory, the arrows flying off in all directions to avoid inadvertently harming his student and roommate. "Hiding behind a defenseless girl?!" he yelled out, trying to cover up his concern with anger "Get out here you coward!"

"Heh, that attempt at mockery proves my theory." Chigusa countered, "So long as there's a chance Oujo-sama may be hurt you won't launch any lethal attacks…presuming a brat like you knows any." She cackled in the manner of all self-important villains and any woman (and men of a certain persuasion) aged over thirty "How useful! A valuable prize that doubles as both a hostage and shield!"

"What do you think you're doing with Konoka!" Asuna yelled out, struggling in the grip of the bear, having been distracted, once again, by monkeys. Chigusa smirked and eyed the rescuers coyly.

"Since you asked…" she stated "First I'll find a means of rendering her mute magically…then we'll have her dance like a puppet for our benefit, as it was meant to be." She smirked at their looks of anger, knowing the battle to be won and committing the standard act of stupidity of any villain: taking the time to gloat instead of retreating. "I win," she boasted "which means Oujo-sama…and this snow white derriere of hers" she slapped the rump for emphasis "is all mine."

She cackled again, eyes shut as she reveled in her moment of superiority. At that moment, something rammed into the side of her face with the force of a pile driver, sending her skidding along the floor before crashing against the wall.

"Wha-what…?" the talisman user stammered, vision blurry as she tried to support herself on trembling arms "Where…did that-?" she trailed off as she gazed at her attacker through cracked lenses, her left ete swollen shut.

"Keep your hands off my students bitch." Kuwabara growled, steadying Konoka in the crook of his arm even as the one he'd used to punch Chigusa remained where it was "'cause next time I won't hold back."

"Kuwabara-san!" Negi exclaimed, dashing over to the man's side in concern along with the girls "Daijoubu? Your wounds! Let me see them!"

"H-how?" Chigusa croaked, eyeing the taller sensei in stunned shock as she fought to stay awake "Tsukuyomi hit you…she carved you open!"

"Yeah she got me pretty good." Kuwabara agreed, lowering Konoka to reveal the thin scars on his chest, the bleeding long since staunched "But she DIDN'T connect, I sensed her coming just in time to back up enough the edge of the blade missed." He smirked at the downed woman "She's fast, but I've seen faster."

--

'Kuwabara-sensei couldn't have known that the Shinmeiryuu fight with ki in their swords as well as blades.' Setsuna noted grimly, eyeing the sensei with admiration 'Still the fact he sensed the attack in time to step back and lessen the damage speaks for itself.'

Chigusa growled and pulled a talisman out, summoning another monkey demon even as Tsukuyomi crawled past, whining about her glasses. "I won't forget this!" the talisman wielder called out vengefully as the beast leapt in the air, Tsukuyomi hanging from the tail "This isn't over!"

"Ah, get stuffed along with your puppets." Kuwabara muttered, flipping the bird as he set Konoka on the ground gently, Setsuna fussing over the comatose girl, trying to rouse her from whatever Chigusa had done to her.

"Mmmm…Set-chan?" the heiress murmured, looking up at the kendo-ka "Set-chan, I had the strangest dream…I was kidnapped by monkeys…and Set-chan, Asuna, Negi-kun and Kuwabara-sensei came to save me…"

"It's alright," Setsuna assured the girl, smiling warmly "everything's going to be fine now…Konoka Oujo-sama."

Konoka blinked, a happy flush coming to her face as she smiled, tears of joy forming in the corners of her eyes "I'm so happy…" she stated in relief "to know you don't hate me Set-chan."

Setsuna blinked, only to flush at the memory of the last time she'd truly spoken with her childhood friend, retreating and kneeling before her "Forgive me!" she called out, red with embarrassment "K-Kono-chan…" she stammered "Protecting you gives me all the happiness I could want…" her blush deepened "But…it's probably best that I do so from the shadows an so…" she dashed off, sword in hand "I'm sorry!"

"Sakurazaki!" Kuwabara called out, stalling the girl and drawing attention to him as he smirked "I better see you for roll call tomorrow or there's gonna be trouble, that means you'd better get to bed soon." He eyed Konoka and Asuna "You two as well."

The trio blinked, before Asuna caught on to what the man was implying and grinned, "That's right! Setsuna-san! We're going as a group to Nara Park tomorrow!" she waved at the girl "C'mon! Lets get back to the inn!"

--

"I think we handled that well." Kuwabara noted, wincing as Negi wrapped a few bandages around his torso a little TOO tightly "I said I'm fine bozu! I've had worse."

"It still needs to be treated Kuwabara-san." Negi insisted, tying the last roll off with a releived smile, before turning to look up at the man "Is your hand okay?"

"Fine." Kuwabara replied, only to blink as he realized something, something that made his mind shut down and reboot in an instant. He hadn't given it much thought because of the situation at hand, and besides, Chigusa had pissed everyone off with that arrogant act, patting Konoka on the rear had been the last straw.

But no matter how you looked at it, the facts didn't change that he had STRUCK Chigusa. A Woman. On the FACE.

"Kuwabara-san?" Negi asked, regarding his still companion and colleague curiously, as he seemed to have frozen. Chamo placed a paw to the man's head and winced, withdrawing it with a brief sizzling sound.

"Looks like a meltdown Aniki." the ermine stated sadly, shaking a head as they called the girls over to help drag the recumbent form to the nearest train. "Only to be expected, after all, the reality of what happened probably only reached him."

"I…hit…a…girl…" Kuwabara droned, repeating this mantra over and over like it was a prayer.

--

"Wow, Kuwabara-sensei's really out of it." Yuna noted at breakfast the next morning, gazing at the professor as he absently tried to devour his own tie with soy sauce, a dazed expression on his face.

"You think he didn't get enough sleep?" Makie wondered, giggling as Nita actually had to force the man to relinquish his chopsticks, a battle which would go down in history breaking out between oni and tantei that wound up with the chpopsticks buried in the walls...in splinters.

"Can't be, we were all passed out last night," Yuna muttered, looking depressed "The first night of the trip and we were to wasted to do anything!"

The group sighed, only to blink as they watched the exchange between Konoka and the unusually embarrassed Setsuna. "Wow, that's the first time I've seen Sakurazaki-san act like that." Ako wondered, watching as the normally reserved Kendo-ka dashed around the dining room in a bid to escape Konoka.

"Think something happened between them last night?" Makie wondered, eliciting an aggravated curse from Yuna as she complained at missing out on the fun.

"You won't miss anything if you don't sleep tonight!" Sakurako chirped, already planning how to spend the evening, namely stirring up all kinds of trouble, preferably with Negi-kun.

--

"You feeling better?" Sayo asked, looking on in concern as Kuwabara stumbled out of the dinning hall, "You seem worried sensei."

"No just…" Kuwabara sighed in embarrassment "My sister always raised me to never hit girls…I keep expecting her to lunge out from around the corner and bean me over the head for what happened yesterday."

Sayo giggled and followed the man as he walked along, only to blink as he made for the doorway, attaché case in hand "Um…sensei? What about your group?"

"Eh? Oh, the trip." Kuwabara recalled "Relax, all the groups are covered, and Nita said I needed a break anyways." He pulled out a letter "So I figured I'd go to this address Genkai told me about…" he read the address before pulling out a map the woman had given him, sweat dropping after a few minutes "uh…"

"Are you okay sensei?" Setsuna asked, appearing out of nowhere, slightly flushed, having escaped Konoka's clutches for the moment.

"Sakurazaki…you're from around here right?" the tantei asked, turning to face the girl with an embarrassed smirk "You know where this place is?"

Setsuna accepted the letter, looking it over carefully, only to blanch, eyes wide with terror at the sight. "S-Sensei…" she stammered "Who…who gave you this address?"

"Uh…MY sensei?" the tantei hazarded, not really knowing how to refer to Genkai. Technically she WAS training him, but she'd already chosen her successor.

"I-I see." Setsuna noted, calming down visibly, though she still looked alarmed "I know where this is, and I'd lead you there myself but…" she shuddered, making a seal and channeling ki "Om."

A small puff of smoke and a chibi version of Setsuna in Hakama and a Kimono top appeared. "My Shikigami will show you the way." The kendo-ka stated, the figure bowing to the stunned tantei "I must return, Oujo-sama's group departs in a few minutes." She looked to the miniature "Take care of him."

"I will!" the figure promised, saluting, before bowing to Kuwabara "You can call me Chibi-Setsuna."

Kuwabara nodded, before turning to regard his retreating student "Sakurazaki." He called out, causing her to turn and face him "Is there…something I should know about this address?"

Setsuna was quiet for a few seconds before looking her sensei solemnly in the eye "IT is the home of the greatest warrior of the Shinmeiryuu since the founder," she replied "And also, the ancestral training grounds where the dojo is kept."

Kuwabara's eyes widened at this piece of information, wondering what the hell Genkai wanted him to do THERE when Setsuna's voice calling his name snapped him back.

"Don't die sensei." The Kendo-ka asked, bowing one last time and retreating back to the inn, leaving a decidedly nervous Kuwabara and Chibi-Setsuna in her wake.

--

An hour by cab and tram, followed by a walk up a winding path and Kuwabara found himself at the base of a series of steps, leading up to what he presumed to be the dojo. Several Shinto shrine gates lined the steps, wreathed in wards against evil, much like Genkai's gate back home.

'Guess this is the place.' The tantei muttered, looking over to find the shikigami, whom he merely referred to as Chibizaki, a name the Setsuna clone had taken a liking to, in chatting amiably with Sayo about life at Mahora. "So do I just walk in or not?"

"I suppose so." Chibizaki noted, looking nervous all of a sudden "But Setsuna-dono warned me that considering how Tsukuyomi was of the Shinmeiryuu, you should expect a fight." She then poofed out of existence, returning to talisman form.

"Story of my life." Kuwabara muttered bitterly, holding the attaché case over his shoulder and walking up the steps, his senses on high alert, already detecting several ki signatures nearby. They had been shadowing him since he walked up the trail, but since there was no malice detected, he presumed they were merely keeping an eye on him.

The minute he stepped onto solid ground however, he immediately found himself facing several girls armed with a wide variety of katana, all dressed in the same red Hakama and white kimono top the shikigami had worn.

They didn't appear too happy to see him either.

--

Cue the Nadesico music!

What's this? Kuwabara waks into the den of wolves!

Random Shinmeiryuu swordswoman: VILE MALE!

What could he be thinking? is this the end!

RSS: WE SHALL ERADICATE YOUR VILE PRESENCE!

Fight on Kuwabara, your strength knowsno limits!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: Dojo destroyer! Kuwabara's wild Shogun!

Jiraiya: Hmm...sounds like a good chapter for my new book!

RSS: THE OLD LETCH IS BACK! DESTROY HIM!

R&R or Jiraiya will be horribly mutilated.

* * *


	22. Chapter 22

The warrior enters the shrine.

Enemies flock to waylay him.

Blades dance, Blood falls.

That terrible attempt at Haiku aside, lets get back to kuwabara.

* * *

22nd period.

'Okay…' Kuwabara muttered, looking around warily at the row of angry faces 'Did I forget to knock or something? These girls don't feel like the guys hiding in the treetops so I doubt they're the welcoming committee.'

"Vile male!" a shorthaired girl called out imperiously, pointing her nodachi at the man for emphasis "How dare you set foot on this most sacred of grounds!"

"Who? Me?" Kuwabara replied dumbly, looking around in confusion in case someone else had come up with him, he didn't THINK he'd done anything wrong...

"Yes you, you filthy beast!" the same girl yelled, pointing her nodachi at the man "You dare to defile our sacred grounds with your unworthy presence? Begone!"

'Unworthy presence?' Kuwabara repeated, fighting t keep his calm 'Sacred ground? Who's the one sellin' their services to those freaks at the KMA?' Shaking himself he cleared his throat and reached into his jacket pocket "Um…I was sent here ta see a Mrs. Aoyama Tsuruko…" he began, only to blink and trail off as several blades were pointed right under his nose.

"Filth like you is not worthy to utter the name of Tsuruko-sama!" the leader hissed, looking highly incensed "And your lies will not sway us, Tsuruko-sama would NEVER deign to meet with one such as you, let alone LOOK at you." She sniffed contemptuously "Weakling wastes of space such as yourself shall not be permitted here."

--

Kuwabara hid it well but on the inside he was beginning to get more than a little pissed. He hadn't been here five minutes and already he was being threatened by a girl in real need of an attitude adjustment, or failing that a kick in the ass, and her girlfriends; all of whom seemed to have some sort of Amazon thing going on, and not in the way most would interpret it.

'Just great, I ran into a feudal feminine extremists club.' He muttered, suppressing the urge to glare lest they take it as a threat. Kuwabara was all for equality and feminine empowerment and all, and until recently had never raised a hand to strike a woman, not even in self-defense. But there was chivalry and then there was neutering, and last the tantei checked his pickles and eggs were VERY much intact, Setsuna's transgressions in the onsen aside.

"I came here to see Aoyama Tsuruko." He repeated, frowning authoritatively and looking the leader in the eye, causing her to back off slightly "So get your little dyke butt in gear and fetch her or send one of your girlfriends ta do it, either way I'm not moving an inch till she's standin' in front of me."

The girls flushed as one at the man's comments, the leader gaping at him like an outraged fish before raising her sword over her head and bringing it down with an outraged cry of "DIE YOU LETCH!"

SPANG!

Silence fell over the group, their eyes widening as Kuwabara caught the blade with his bare hand, right on the soft bit of flesh joining thumb and forefinger. "B-Bakana!" the leader stammered, too shocked to move "With…your bare hand?"

"Amazing what you can do with a little training." Kuwabara muttered, keeping the flow of reiki in his hand from glowing so as not to let the game away. As it was, the technique was NOTHING like Setsuna or Tsukuyomi's, it had been a simple blow with a katana, albeit with more strength than one would expect from a teenage girl.

The leader snapped back to her senses and moved to pull her sword back, only to find it stuck as if blade and hand were one "Unhand my sword!" she demanded, struggling to release the blade, only to collapse with a yelp as Kuwabara did so, falling on her rump with all the dignity of a sack of potatoes.

The others were on him in an instant, blades held high as they let out a joint battle cry, lunging at the man even as he crouched down, clenching both fists tightly as the blades stabbed down.

"REIKEN!"

The two blades of reiki activated, slicing through steel and snapping the blades off near the hilt, the stunned trainees blinking as they stood over the crouched intruder, two of them getting an up close look at the reiki swords. "The first one to move…Dies." Kuwabara bluffed, his game face on, hoping like hell these girls had enough sense to back down before he actually had to hurt them. He didn't think he could justify away attacking a bunch of delusional trainees, some of which looked like they were about to break into tears as a result of the aura he was leaking, the leader had actually wet herself.

"That is quite enough." A calm, cultured voice called out, everyone's heads turning to regard the woman standing at the front door to the dojo.

--

Pale skin the colour of ivory, obsidian hair that fell to her waist like a waterfall. The Hakama and uwagi suited her perfectly, accentuating her light, supple frame in ways a dress could not. Had Kuwabara not firmly rooted in his mind that Yukina was his one and only, the man would have been head over heals at the sight before him.

As it were, he settled for staring at the woman like a retarded chimp, a look shared by a few members of his apparent hostages. "S-Seiko-sama!" the leader of the girls exclaimed, looking at the woman in alarm and no small amount of embarrassment. "We…we tried sending this vile interloper away but he-!"

"Overpowered you and revealed to you how sorely lacking you are in training and discipline." The woman cut in curtly, voice calm but with an iron strength that gripped those before her "Makoto, while I do not condone your idolization of Motoko-chan, I cannot say the same for your adopting her flawed reasoning as your own."

"B-but Seiko-sama!" Makoto exclaimed, looking embarrassed and mortified at the elder woman's chastising "M-Motoko-sama-!"

"Could not get over her sister's marriage and chose to write it off as corruption on behalf of her husband." Seiko cut in, eyeing the stuttering girl before her with a steely expression "A matter which has nothing to do with your assault upon a guest to our dojo." She nodded to Kuwabara, a warm smile on her face "Pardon them kind sir, they are but novices who have yet to learn the difference between swinging a sword and wielding it."

"No harm done." Kuwabara replied, disengaging the reiken and standing up, several girls sighing in relief "They were just protecting their dojo from an intruder, and it was my fault for baiting them."

"Your words are kind for one who was wronged." Seiko noted with a smile, "I apologize for their transgressions." She nodded and four adult warriors, dressed in the same manner she was, appeared behind the group "I assure you their instructors will see they are properly disciplined."

"No need to get harsh." Kuwabara insisted, earning looks of confusion from some of the girls "They were just doing what they thought was right, can't blame 'em for that can you?"

Seiko's smile seemed to warm a little more as she regarded the man with twinkling eyes "You truly are a gentleman." She noted, "Very well, perhaps a night without supper then, let them have a reason to be so uncivilized, rather than the adopted bias of a headstrong sempai." She nodded towards the dojo "Would you care to join me for tea?"

Kuwabara nodded, aware that quite a few of the girls were gazing at his back as he walked forward, ignoring it with the ease of his years as a delinquent.

Had he known not all the looks were hostile, it was unlikely the tantei would have been so nonchalant.

--

"I see, so Genkai-san sent you." Seiko noted, setting a cup of tea before the tantei, she smiled at Sayo, who blushed, having never seen such beauty even when she was alive.

"Don't suppose ya know why she sent me do ya?" Kuwabara asked, between sips of rather delicious tea "All I know is I'm supposed to give that letter to Tsuruko-san."

"Tsuruko should be home any moment now," Seiko noted with a smile, looking up as the shogi door slip open "Ah, welcome home Tsuruko, we have a guest."

Kuwabara looked up and blinked as what could only be described as Seiko's twin entered the room, a strange bird on her shoulder and two bells on the pommel of her nodachi.

"Ara? I wasn't expecting anyone today." Tsuruko exclaimed with a polite smile, bowing towards the stunned tantei "I do apologize for keeping you waiting."

"Wasn't here that long." Kuwabara stammered, shaking himself in embarrassment before scratching his neck "That is, I only just got here, Tsuruko-san." He held up the cup of tea "Your sister and I only just started on our tea."

Tsuruko blinked, looking at the man in confusion, before lifting the hem of her sleeve to her lips and chuckling, a look of amusement on her face that made Kuwabara suddenly very aware of how small the room was. "Ano…did I say something wrong?" he asked, looking round only to find Seiko was mimicking Tsuruko's actions.

"Gomen," Tsuruko offered, smiling gently at the man "you see, this is my mother, not my sister."

Kuwabara's eyes widened as he looked between the two, only now noticing the slight differences. For one, Seiko's hips were a bit wider, and her bust line, what was apparent through the uwagi, probably had an inch or so more than her daughter. Other than these, there was no perceptible difference between them.

"You certainly are a flatterer young man." Seiko noted, the odd twinkle in her eyes making Kuwabara decidedly hot under the collar "Though I must admit you aren't the first to make the same mistake, only those who have lived within the compound can truly tell us apart."

Kuwabara tried to rein in his embarrassment and settled for fishing around for the letter in his pocket "Erm, I was sent here by Genkai-Baachan." He explained, noting Tsuruko's eyebrow quirk slightly at the master's name "She asked me to give this to you."

Tsuruko accepted the letter delicately and slit it open, unfurling the paper within and running her eyes over Genkai's tidy script.

--

_Tsuruko,_

_I'm sorry to bother you in your retirement but I'm sending a certain lunkhead over to you for training._

_He has a good heart and is certainly powerful, quite possibly the strongest human on the planet in regards to raw power, but I fear that having already passed on my techniques to a successor, he would be better suited learning a different style of combat._

_He has already mastered the basics of Reiko Hadouken in the past week and is currently wearing the spirit cuffs, so he should have a decent grasp of himself and his limits._

_Oh, one more thing; while it isn't really a concern the lunkhead seems to have gotten it into his head that women are defenseless flowers and that no 'real man' would raise a hand against one, even in self defense. Normally this would be seen as chivalrous, but he's been selected as the next reikai tantei by Koenma and you know first hand that not all demons are of the muscular, testosterone reliant stereotype._

_Please knock some sense into his head; lord knows he has a brain in there somewhere._

_Genkai._

_P.S Don't even think of using the Aoyama family charm as motivation, kid's too much of a virgin to have any kind of defense against it, that and he's pretty much smitten as is._

--

"Well now," Tsuruko noted, looking up to find Kuwabara had excused himself to use the bathroom "So the new Reikai Tantei has been selected, that took a while."

"I hear they are being more selective of late, what with Urameshi-san's atavism and the debacle with Sensui." Seiko noted, noting a look of sadness on her daughter's face "It is done Tsuruko, he would not have wished for you to grieve forever."

"I know." Tsuruko sighed, eyes on her hands, "It's just…if we'd known what was going on, maybe we could have done something…"

"When Sensui came to us for training we sensed no evil intent about his person," Seiko noted "he was just a shattered, weary man that had come to seek solace amidst others who knew the burden of defending the world." She sighed "Your father was always quick to make friends, one of the reasons I married him…he merely placed his trust in the wrong man."

They sat in silence for a moment, only to look up as Kuwabara returned, noting a red handprint on his cheek. "Sorry, got lost." The tantei noted, rubbing his cheek tenderly, a red palm print visible "Took a left instead of a right and wound up in the ladies room."

"A simple mistake, Kuwabara-kun." Seiko assured the boy kindly "We will not fault you on it." she waited until he was seated "Now then, it would appear Genkai-chan has sent you for further training."

Kuwabara's eyes widened, as he looked between the two in confusion "Training…here?" he asked.

"Is that a problem?" Seiko asked, honestly a little surprised at his reaction. She wasn't insulted of course, but the discomfort was a little unusual considering how prestigious the school was.

"Well…" Kuwabara began "It's just…one of my students has recently been under threat from the KMA…and a Shinmeiryuu warrior was sent to aid in her kidnapping."

"Are you certain?" Tsuruko asked, and Kuwabara noted her hand had strayed to her sword hilt "Could it not have been a mistake?"

Kuwabara frowned and reached for his shirt, opening it to reveal the thin, x-shaped scar across his chest "I dodged her swords but she still managed to cut me." He explained, buttoning his shirt "She said her name was Tsukuyomi or sumthin'"

Tsuruko and Seiko flinched, eyes growing hard and Kuwabara found his wrist incased in a grip that was deceptively strong considering how delicate the owner's hand was. "Are you certain she said Tsukuyomi?" Seiko asked, looking into the Tantei's eyes, the twinkle gone "Was she a blonde with spectacles?"

"And a frilly sundress and hat." Kuwabara elaborated, grimacing at the strength in those delicate fingers "She fought with a kodachi and Tanto."

"That's her for certain." Tsuruko noted grimly "She was indeed a member of the Shinmeiryuu, a prodigy despite her vision impairment." She frowned "However, when we learned of her more…violent tendencies, we sent her out into the world, as is tradition, to learn restraint."

"It would appear she joined with those rebels in the Kansai Magic Association." Seiko noted with a grim frown "Eishun-kun certainly has his hand's full."

They sat in silence for a moment, before Tsuruko smiled at Kuwabara warmly "Well then, what say we get started?"

"Eh?" Kuwabara stammered, blinking as Chibizaki tugged on his sleeve insistently, looking up at Tsuruko in confusion "You mean…right now?"

"Well, you may want to change." Tsuruko allotted with a smile "But we're going to see what you can do first."

--

Kuwabara swallowed as he stepped out on the court, dressed in his tracksuit bottoms and a vest. He didn't feel like replacing two suits in as many days but still felt oddly out of place considering the number of traditionally dressed trainees and masters there were milling in the background. He felt even more concerned at the fact his opponent was someone even the normally unflappable Sakurazaki seemed nervous around.

Tsuruko stood at one side of the wide courtyard, her sword sheathed at her side and that ever present smile on her face. While it was meant to put the man before her at ease she couldn't help but chuckle internally at how he seemed to flinch. "Relax Kuwabara-kun, this is merely a test to determine your abilities." She smiled "We do not challenge guests to death matches here."

"Uh…right." Kuwabara stammered, looking even more nervous at how nonchalantly she'd spoken of death matches. He allowed his hand to stray to the pocket of his tracksuit, where his Tameshi no ken lay hidden. He hadn't forgotten how it had served him against Toguro-Ani, and figured against one of Genkai's associates it was best to have as many options as possible.

"The rules are simple:" Seiko announced, sitting seiza style on the walkway off to the side, two trainees at her side and Sayo's tablet I her hands "You are to battle at full strength until either you surrender or are defeated…while we frown on the use of lethal force feel free to use it if you feel your life is in danger."

'No death matches huh?' Kuwabara muttered sullenly, a bead of sweat running down his cheek, before snapping to attention and clenching his knuckles.

"Well then…" Tsuruko began with a smile, drawing her sword as she spoke "Shall we begin then?"

Kuwabara barely had time to register how here eyes had begun to glow before all hell broke loose.

--

"Tsuruko-sama is as impressive as always." One of the trainers at the dojo noted, sitting seiza style alongside Seiko as he watched the goings on "As to be expected of the former heir." He frowned as Kuwabara stumbled about the courtyard desperately "Still, this Kuwabara hardly seems worthy of the recommendation of Genkai-dono."

"You think so?" Seiko noted, smiling lightly with her eyes half closed "Tell me then, why hasn't Tsuruko landed a hit, even if she IS holding back?"

The trainer was about to reply when he paused, frowning in thought. Even if she WAS holding back, Tsuruko did not believe in going so easy on an opponent they thought they stood a chance simply because they could dodge. 'Wound an enemy to warn them.' He recited, 'She should have at least cut his clothes, especially with that starting Raikouken.' He frowned as Kuwabara dodged out of the path of a Zankuusen, albeit clumsily, "Masaka…Shingan?"

"Iie," Seiko noted with a smile "if Genkai had encountered someone with Shingan she'd have sent him to us only after training him to his full potential." She smiled "It's Reikan, his spiritual awareness enables him to detect the changes in Tsuruko's energy just before she launches an attack."

'A reikan so powerful…in one so young?' the master noted, eyeing the panting Kuwabara in interest 'warriors of the Shinmeiryuu train extensively to increase their natural awareness…for him to possess it in spades…'

"Still," the master noted, "If reikan is his only strength it won't matter much against-!" he trailed off as Kuwabara captured Tsuruko's blade between his palms "Impossible…he should have lost his hands!"

"Who said his sole asset was his reikan?" Seiko countered, smiling at the glow rising off the man's palms.

--

"Impressive." Tsuruko applauded honestly "Gathering reiki into your palms to form shields, then using them to hold the blade rather than deflect it."

"Not too difficult." Kuwabara grunted, trying to look tough but Tsuruko's strength as giving him a hard time "Just added a little twist to something Genkai-Baachan taught me."

"Still," Tsuruko noted, leaning in so that only the width of her blade separated combatants "now that you have me…what next?" she sighed internally as the man's eyes wrought in confusion "Kuwabara-kun…hesitation means death."

Her sandaled foot caught the tantei under the shin, Kuwabara sailing upward, taking Tsuruko's sword with him. He gaped heavenward for a moment, only to blink as the Kyoto beauty appeared in his vision. "Sumimasen." She offered, and then everything went pear shaped as she spun him through the air in a somersault, colliding face first with the courtyard.

--

"A perfectly executed Ukigumo Sakurasanka." The master from before noted with a small smile "Still think she's holding back, Seiko-sama?"

"He's still conscious isn't he?" Seiko replied with a smile, the master blinking and staring as Kuwabara moaned, sitting up stiffly even as Tsuruko looked down at him, having reclaimed her sword.

--

"You leave yourself open yet have no way to counter a high-speed attack, you wrongly assume that just because I have a weapon I am unable to fight without it." Tsuruko frowned slightly "And while I applaud you chivalry, can you not see that I am quite capable of defending myself?"

"I can't hit girls! It isn't right!" Kuwabara shot back, getting to his feet with a grunt "I broke that vow once because of anger, I WON'T let that happen again!"

"Even if it costs you the life of a friend?" Tsuruko asked pointedly, noting the flinch on the man's face "I apologize for my bluntness, Kuwabara-san, but there are times to act chivalrous and there are times when you must do anything to win…bushido is not as widely accepted as it once was." She frowned "Even amongst the Shinmeiryuu."

She watched as her words sunk in, noting the alarming whirl of emotions that was running rampant in the man's aura. Confusion, anger, determination and most notably stubbornness. It would take a lot to get through to this one it would seem.

"Kuwabara-san." She called out, the fringe of her hair hiding her eyes "When Genkai-san sent you to us it wasn't just for training…it was to open your eyes to the fact that women are just as respectable as warriors as men."

"I understand that!" Kuwabara shot back, only to blink as a cut appeared on his cheek, freezing at the chill the blow left behind.

"No, you don't." Tsuruko countered, her sword unsheathed and pointed at the floor "You stubbornly refuse to strike back even after you had me caught off guard, you flail around like a drunken monkey to avoid my attacks, yet refuse to reciprocate…you have dishonored the duel, Kuwabara-san."

"H-hold on a sec!" Kuwabara began, only to blink as Tsuruko raised her head, stiffening in terror at the unholy glow of her eyes, wondering if the warrior was indeed half demon herself.

"Release your shackles Kuwabara." The demon-sword of Kyoto called out, the Shinmeiryuu battle aura whirling around her, lifting her sleeves and hair and shadowing her face "Unleash your power and face me seriously…or die."

--

Sakurazaki flinched, looking up at the sky suddenly in trepidation as an odd shudder ran down her spine. 'Kuwabara-sensei…' she muttered concernedly, wondering if she should send her shikigami back to see what was going on only for Konoka to leap in front of her with a tray of dango, smiling at her as she suggested they eat together.

Asuna, too concerned with warding off Haruna and Yue, could only watch as the normally aloof kendo-ka made for the hills, Konoka on her tail. 'What got into her?' she wondered, only for Haruna's kick to catch her off guard "PRGH!"

--

Que the Nadesico music

What ho! Kuwabara faces the Demon sword of Kyoto!

Tsuruko: OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!

The blade that has drunk the blood of thousands has awoken!

Setsuna: (Terrified) KUWABARASENSEI?!

Will he survive this battle? Or will the legend of kuwabara be cut short, along with his life?!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara; Blades of passion!

Seiko: Oh my, what could you be insinuating there?

R&R or Kuwabara gets turned to sashimi!

* * *


	23. Chapter 23

Sorry for before, the stupid thing got uploaded before I could edit it.

Anyways, I'll just correct tdhat mistake and post the next chapter as soon as I can.

* * *

23rd Period.

Kuwabara had stared death in the face many a time, he'd had a crush on her bubbly incarnation for a while too, but that's beside the point. The fact was that Kuwabara wasn't a stranger to putting his life on the line and had in fact only shown true terror a scarce few times in his life.

The first had been seeing Toguro-Outoto power up at Tarukane's mansion, followed by realizing the muscleman had been holding back. Following this up had been Hiei's first unveiling of the Kokuryuuha, then Toguro's revelation of his full power, and subsequently the moment he'd charged the former human in a suicide rush.

That had truly been the last time the tantei had feared for his life, the battle with Sensui and the seven had seen him primarily running on anger and concern for his friends, not to mention bloodlust after Yusuke's supposed death.

Now, for the first time since that fateful last encounter with Toguro, Kuwabara was staring into the less bubbly face of death…and it scared the ever lovin' shit out of him.

'…Move…!' he ordered his muscles, brain numb as his reikan enabled him to practically TASTE the woman's bloodlust, primal terror locking his limbs in place 'Move…gotta move or I'm dead…!'

Tsuruko began to advance, slowly, like a lioness on the prowl, Kuwabara staring at her like a deer caught in the headlights of an armed death star. "Not going to run?" she called out, her face a mask of demonic calm as she twitched the hilt of her blade "Then I'll make the first move."

Kuwabara's body, without orders from his obviously numb brain, moved into action out of instinctive self-preservation and leapt, reiki blasting him skywards even as Tsuruko sent a Ryuhazan at him. It flipped him over in midair, landing to the left of the swordswoman even as Kuwabara regained full control, his eyes snapping out of their daze.

"I applaud your swiftness." Tsuruko allotted, the words a demonic mockery of her previous sincerity "Perhaps you're ready to fight back now?"

She vanished, Kuwabara's reikan snapping his attention upwards, as the shihan of the Shinmeiryuu descended with a downward slash. He activated his reiken, blocking the blow but feeling as if he'd just been hit by a steamroller, the ground cracking beneath his feet as he fought to remain upright.

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"Is that a ki-blade?" the master noted in amazement, actually sitting up straight as his colleagues and fellows began muttering amongst themselves "The level of control required for that takes years of discipline!"

"And yet he has been able to use it since his teens." Seiko pointed out, thanking Genkai for the list of Kuwabara's exceptional progress from the moment he set foot at the psychic's dojo she had been included with the letter "And has fought in the dark tournament, on the guest team."

"Dark tournament?" the master repeated, eyes widening as whispers broke out amongst those watching the fight "You mean…he's THAT Kuwabara? The one with the-?!"

"Indeed." Seiko cut in, shooting the man a look that silenced all comments "But you are not to speak of this with anyone, if the dissenters learn that 'IT' has come into our possession, there could be another secret war."

The master flinched, facial muscles growing taut as he bowed slightly, scar aching as he recalled the LAST war "I understand," he agreed "I shall mention this to no-one…but if I may?" he continued at her nod "If he truly is who we think he is…why isn't he fighting back."

"Firstly, because he still has Genkai's limiter on." Seiko noted, chuckling in amusement at the boy's absentmindedness, before sighing "And secondly…because he's too chivalrous for his own good."

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"Impressive," Tsuruko noted with a smirk, her glowing eyes scaring Kuwabara stiff "Ki-blades take a lot of control to master." She twirled her sword; sparks filling the air as she swiped upwards "Come, let us test your swordsmanship!"

Kuwabara yelped as he continued to block as best he could cursing, as he felt the business end of the nodachi bite into his arms and legs repeatedly, leaving small, superficial wounds. 'She's as fast as Hiei!' the teen muttered, wincing as he tightened his guard as best he could 'Dammit! I'm a sittin' duck here! Why do I feel so sluggish-!?'

He trailed off, cursing himself before rolling to the side and disengaging his reiken, standing up even as Tsuruko turned to him. "Hoh? Running away are we?" the shihan asked, only to raise an eyebrow as the tantei crossed his wrists, stretching them out to reveal the cuffs "I see…finally getting serious."

"ABIDAS!"

The cuffs snapped, a white light flashing out briefly, before the sum total of Kuwabara's aura erupted from him in a golden blaze, surrounding him and causing an updraft worthy of an Akira Toriyama sketch.

'I see…' Tsuruko noted, impressed by the sheer level of aura the young man was giving off 'A-class for certain, and high caliber at that.' She smirked 'Were he truly a demon I'd be thrilled, the likes of this power hasn't been seen in centuries since Sukuna was sealed.' She eyed her opponent with a smile 'Strongest spiritually indeed…but he's lacking in the very basics, he should have attacked me the minute the restraints came off.'

She blinked as Kuwabara reached into his pocket, pulling out the hilt of a sword whilst never taking his eyes of her own. 'Some sort of weapon?' she wondered briefly, even before the man's aura surged again. Her eyes widened, as did quite a few others, as the hilt released a sparkling reiken, different from the one he'd employed up till then.

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"Hoh…quite an impressive toy he has there." Seiko noted, raising a delicate eyebrow coyly "That lightning aura not only boosts his offence, but his defense as well…Tsuruko will have a hard time getting through that."

"That weapon…" the scarred master noted offhandedly, his eyes narroed in a calculating expression "No mortal forged that, of that I am certain."

"Genkai-san is many things, but she is not a fanatic." Seiko opined, "If it means getting the job done, she is quit comfortable with associating with demons." She smiled at the man "Something you yourself are noted for."

"Sakurazaki was an EXCEPTION." The master shot back, but had the grace to look embarassed as he did so "She is only HALF demon, I am not so fickle as to lump her with the rest of the bird clan."

"And she blossomed under you, as Tsuruko did." Seiko noted, smiling at the man gratefully "You have my thanks, Umino-sensei."

Umino Iruko, former instructor of Aoyama Tsuruko, and sole surviving instructor of Aoyama Seiko, flushed slightly and bowed his head, before turning back to the fight, just in time for Kuwabara to slide back, guard up and firm.

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"You dodge and strike at me to ward me off." Tsuruko noted as she approached, like a prowling tiger cornering a deer "There's hesitation in your swing…why?"

"I don't want to hurt you!" Kuwabara shot back, blocking a stroke from the woman and stepping back to avoid the onslaught "I wont break my vow! I'll never hit a woman!"

"You have already broken that vow." Tsuruko reminded him, noting his flinch and pressing the attack "Twice now, if the reports are to be believed. And on both occasions, you did so to protect your students, to protect others!"

She looked into the man's eyes, noting the stubbornness from earlier battling with confusion and uncertainty. Truly, her words were beginning to have effect she had intended, the walls that was impeding his development were fractured. Not one to dally for long, she grabbed his wrist, sweeping behind him to place her blade at his throat, the sword clattering to the floor from the hold she put him in.

"I will allow that men who strike defenseless women are the lowest of scum." Tsuruko assured him, a kind smile on her elegant features "And to see chivalry such as yours in this day and age is refreshing, for it gives me hope for bushido." She frowns "However…to lump all women into the same category of weak defenseless maidens is the same mistake that led many a man to his death…and still does to this day." She tightened her grip on his arm "The Shinmeiryuu are charged with the protection of Japan…as Tantei, your jurisdiction is the world."

Kuwabara stiffened at this, his eyes widening as he realized just how important the post he'd inherited was "As such," Tsuruko continued "Can you really expect to protect the world…with such indecisiveness in your heart?" she leaned in close "How can you protect…the girl you love?"

Kuwabara's aura flared at her words, actually startling the woman, but not enough to loosen her grip. "Impressive" she allotted "But it will take more than that to-!"

She leapt back, barely dodging the aerial blade that slashed at her without the aid of a hand to wield it, deflecting it away from her, only for it to return to it's master's hand as he turned to face her.

Kuwabara's face was set in stone, the indecisiveness from earlier replaced with a grim determination, a coldness that brought to mind battlefield steel.

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"He's changed." Iruko noted calmly, sounding mildly alert as the other onlookers muttered in alarm at the man's last maneuver "Not just his face, his aura…his stance."

"So we finally see it." Seiko noted with a smile, hands placed calmly in her lap "This is the true face of the yondaime Reikai Tantei…this is Kuwabara the warrior." She frowned, looking between the two with concern "Still…perhaps this has gone on a bit too long…"

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The battle between the two resumed, Kuwabara still on the defensive, but nowhere near as sloppy as he had been. True his guard still had gaping holes for Tsuruko to exploit, but for every three hits landed he managed to deflect one, and for every five blows received he gave back one as well.

'Just have to hold on until she calls it off." The tantei muttered, face grim as he delivered a backhand strike to deflect the sword from his gut, fist shielded by his reiki 'She's as fast as Hiei, and a far better swordsman than Sakurazaki…' he grunted in alarm 'I don't stand a chance of beating her with swords…so lets see how she does unarmed!'

Tsuruko struck out, only to blink as Kuwabara released his weapon, the swordswoman stumbling forwards, only to blink as he shoulder rushed her, knocking her off balance. 'I'll keep catching her off guard by switching between street fighting and my reiken.' Kuwabara noted, activating both of his own swords even as the Tameshi no Ken spun back towards him 'All I gotta do is last till the bell!'

He struck out, deactivating the swords even as he ducked under a swipe, reactivating them as daggers as he swiped at Tsuruko, intending to catch her off guard, only to flinch as he accidentally scratched her cheek, drawing blood. He stumbled back, an apology on his lips, only to freeze as Tsuruko appeared right in his face, a demonic, almost gleeful, glint in her eyes as she readied her sword to strike him, pupils flashing like beacons.

"RYUHAZAN!"

Kuwabara crashed backwards, smashing into the walkway, only for a strong pair of arms to wrap around him, halting his progress and lowering him to the floor.

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"That is quite enough Tsuruko." Seiko noted, her hand gripping her daughter's wrist tightly, having stopped the attack before it could connect fully, sparing Kuwabara from all but the shockwave "You were supposed to test him…not immolate him."

Tsuruko looked to her mother, before sighing and bowing her head, eyes once again the normal serene black, rather than the glowing gold in a sea of darkness. She looked to where her opponent had been tossed, only to chuckle at the sight of Iruko Sensei flattened against the wall, a completely unconscious Kuwabara plastered against the man. "I must admit I got carried away," the former heiress offered, sheathing her blade as she walked to the men "Still, I haven't fought anyone of that level for quite some time." She frowned, "But his skills…"

"Are abysmal, true." Seiko agreed, a solemn look on her face "His talent is extraordinary, but his upbringing crushes it." she sighed "Yet another result of the changing times, in days long gone, we'd have snapped this one up and trained him to his fullest." She sighed and nodded to Iruka "Bring him to the guest house."

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As Kuwabara was lead away, the gaggle of onlookers continued to chatter amongst themselves. Many were alarmed by what had just occurred, others were mildly impressed, a majority of the more revered members were suspicious, and were already trying to implement this new predicament into their various scenarios.

Several of the younger trainees, most notably the males, had been astounded how someone with so little training had not only lasted so long against THE Tsuruko-sama, but had actually drawn blood. The females, having already experienced Kuwabara's chivalry before, were chatting excitedly amongst themselves, particularly concerning how Tsuruko's comments on the man's 'beloved' had incited him so.

However, certain figures, which had long harbored feelings other than loyalty to the clan, were carefully making note of what had just occurred. The dissenters would need to kept well informed of this new…predicament.

But one thing was absolutely certain, Kuwabara had DEFINITELY made a lasting impression on the Shinmeiryuu…whether he lived to see what it wrought depended on how they saw him.

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"I've bandaged his wounds, what little there are." Iruko assured Seiko as he stepped away from the man "Still, his hardiness is admirable, even though he was hit several times by Tsuruko-sama, he has little to show for it save rudimentary cuts, which as you can see, are already healing."

"Reiko-Hadouken is indeed a formidable art." Seiko stated admirably, an appreciative smile on her face as she looked over the slumbering tantei "But I agree with Genkai that this one is ill suited to that art…he's too straightforward."

"I'd have said 'dense' but that works as well." Iruko chuckled, the humor in his eyes negating the harshness of his words. "Still, it's not like Motoko was much different."

"I apologize once again for my daughter's lack of decorum." Seiko offered the man sincerely "I know you had your reasons for refusing to teach her, I just couldn't see them."

"She never truly recovered from her father's death," Iruko agreed, his face solemn at the memory of the younger Aoyama sister's attitude during her early training "It left a hole in her heart that made her incapable of studying the full extent of the Shinmeiryuu under me."

"Which brings me to my second point." Seiko noted, looking at the aged sensei with a solemn expression "We need to bring out his true potential, but I fear that, for the moment, he is still routed firmly in the 'Yin' side of his ki.

"Understandable." Iruko muttered solemnly "Very few people choose to acknowledge their darker aspects…and those that do tend to go…astray."

"Such as Tsukuyomi." Tsuruko muttered bitterly, a scowl marring her elegant features "I apologize once again sensei…it would seem your first impressions of the girl were correct."

"Too much 'Yang' in that one," Iruko agreed, wincing at the memory of the first time he'd laid eyes on the girl "A shame…such prodigious skill…" he frowned, "Still, how are we to handle things…Seiko-sama?"

Seiko sat in silence for a few moments, her eyes closed in contemplation, her face as calm and serene as ever, but lacking in the amusement that normally graced her presence, finally, without opening her eyes, she lifted her head to address them "We will use the Gate."

"S-SEIKO-SAMA!" Iruko gaped, eyes wide and paling considerably as he knelt in front of the woman he'd trained and come to love as a daughter "You…you can't be suggesting-?!"

"I am," Seiko insisted, her face neutral, her eyes remaining closed as she spoke "It is the only way we can ensure that Kuwabara-kun unlocks the sum total of his potential."

"Maybe so!" Iruka continued, his arms wide, still kneeling "But there is a reason that the gate hasn't been used! Many a potential master has had that potential cut short! That gate is ill suited for humans! Tsuruko-sama almost died in there! And even you Seiko-sama-!"

"I am well aware of the dangers of the gate." Seiko assured her aged sensei, her hands in her lap and eyes closed, the epitome of calm were it not for a slight temble of her fingers "I still recall that hellish place, but it was the only way for me to become strong enough to protect my title as heir."

"Aoyama Shinmei himself barely survived that horror!" Iruka pleaded, his eyes desperate to dissuade his former student "The damage it wrought nearly crippled him, and shortened his lifespan!"

"My mind is resolved, Umino-Sensei." Seiko stated, her tone final, if apologetic "Kuwabara does not have time to be coddled, the Gate is the only choice we have."

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Kuwabara awoke to find himself dressed in a white sleeping kimono, a cool cloth placed over his head. Sitting up, he gazed around the room, dislodging a relieved Sayo as she hovered near him.

'Where in the heck am I?' he wondered, wincing as his joints popped and cracked, though there was no pain 'Feels like I went ten rounds with Urameshi's old man...'

Not that Kuwabara had ever met Toushin Raizen, the demon king of battle having passed on well before the Kekkai was dropped, but from what he had managed to gather from Kurama and Yusuke, the old coot had been the strongest opponent Urameshi had ever faced, and if he'd been at his peak, the former tantei wouldn't have stood a chance.

'Hell, Sensui got bitch slapped around by the guy's spirit controlling Urameshi.' The current tantei muttered, shivering at the recollection of Yusuke's transformation, wondering, not for the first time, if the longhaired, tattooed teen's form had been a shadow of the late demon king.

"Ah, you're awake." A voice noted, Kuwabara turning to find a relieved Seiko sitting nearby in the seiza position, her Nodachi resting at her side as always "Umino-sensei has not lost his touch."

"Who?" Kuwabara asked, looking up as Tsuruko entered, her bird leaving her shoulder to crouch on his own. It cooed softly, rubbing its head against his as if asking to be pet, to which he responded.

"That is indeed strange." Tsuruko noted, an approving smile on her face as she watched her companion croon at the treatment "Shippu generally doesn't warm so well to people."

Kuwabara normally would've made a crack about animal magnetism, but considering his short-term memory was slowly coming back, he was eyeing the younger Aoyama woman nervously. Seiko noted this and chuckled, her uwagi sleeve hiding her mouth as she did so. "Be at ease, Kuwabara-kun." She assured him, "Tsuruko-chan merely got carried away, she is not like that normally."

"I do apologize for my actions," Tsuruko offered humbly, bowing her head slightly, the epitome of humbleness "I have not been truly challenged since I retired from my position, it was…nostalgic, to face someone so strong."

'If that's what retired looks like I'd hate to see what she'd been like in her prime!' Kuwabara muttered, accepting the apology with a bow of his own, idly patting the feather's of Shipuu's crest, much to the bird's pleasure.

"Kuwabara-kun." Seiko began, drawing his attention back to herself, "As you are no doubt aware, the Shinmeiryuu is a long-standing style that focuses not only on mastery of one's weapon, but of one's self." She nodded "As such, years of discipline and training are required to bring out the best results." She eyed the man carefully "You have talent, and more power than any other trainee that has been sent here before, not to mention vast reserves of untapped potential. Given the choice, I would personally see to it that you stayed with us to complete your training."

"But…I can't stay here!" Kuwabara stammered, Shippu ruffling it's feather's in disapproval at the noise "I mean, no offence, but my students ain't exactly safe at th' minute, and th' class trip is only for another week or so!"

"Calm yourself." Seiko asked, looking him in the eyes reassuringly "I would not hold you here against your will, it was our folly for not learning of you sooner, had we done so, you'd have received the proper training…without the risks."

"Risks?" Kuwabara repeated, looking at the suddenly solemn looking matriarch in concern, noting a matching expression on her daugter's usually serene features "What are you talkin' about? What risks?"

"I will say no more at the moment." Seiko stated, with an air of reserved finality as she rose to her feet "Please, dress yourself, Tsuruko will escort you to the training grounds."

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"Did…did I say something wrong?" Kuwabara asked, looking after Seiko as she left the room. He didn't no why, but he could have sworn the woman's hands had trembled for the briefest of seconds.

"Of course not." Tsuruko replied, her voice reassuring despite her earlier attempts to terrify him "My mother is merely preoccupied with plans for your training."

"Really?" Kuwabara wondered, only to blink as he realized that not only were his clothes coming off, He wasn't the one removing them "ACK! Tsuruko-san! What th-?!"

"Please calm yourself Kuwabara-kun." Tsuruko assured him, removing his sweat-soaked kimono and offering him a pressed training uniform "I am merely assisting you in preparing, as is tradition."

"You make it sound Like I'm preparing for a duel." Kuwabara muttered, still flustered at being undressed, only to shiver at the coy smile on the woman's face.

"Believe me…Kuwabara-san." She offered, her eyes glimmering ominously "By this evening…you'll wish you WERE."

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And we'll wrap thing's up right there for now.

The earlier version listed Iruko's name as Iruka, that was a typo.

He looks like an older version of Iruka, true, possibly a descendant...or an alternate version.

Cue the Nadesikp music:

Narrator: Kuwabara has survived against the demon blade of Kyoto!

Sayo: YATTA!

Narrator: But the shinmeiryuu compound holds many dangers and secrets!

Random trainee: KYAAA PERVERT!!!!

Narrator: Amidst the sparking Sakura blossoms, a warrior's training begins!

Narrator: Next time on Reikai-Sensei Kuwabara: The mainden's secret cavern!

Seiko: Are you a fan of the Icha-Icha series by any chance, Narrator-san?

R&R or we'll sick Tsuruko on you!

* * *


	24. Chapter 24

And so Kuwabara's training finally begins. Just what does Seiko have planned?

HEAVEN OR HELL?

LET'S RAWK!!!

* * *

24th period.

Shizuru froze in the midst of doing someone's hair, the elder Kuwabara sibling gazing out the window in the general direction of Kyoto, the source of her bad vibes. 'Kazuma…' she wondered, the sense of foreboding she normally associated with her younger brother creeping up her spine 'What the hell have you gotten yourself into now?'

"Uh ma'am?" one of her assistants called out, drawing her attention back to the middle-aged woman whose hair she was veritably twisting into knots.

Just another messed up day at the Kuwabara-salon.

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'These training clothes are pretty light.' Kuwabara noted, surprised at how easy the unfamiliar clothing was to walk around in. He'd thought he'd have had problems with the Hakama, but they seemed to be cut specifically to enable him to walk unimpeded. 'I feel like Goemon…' he noted with a wry smirk as he recalled one of his favorite manga's growing up, 'Hmm…maybe I should buy Kurama a red jacket for his birthday…Getting a fedora for Urameshi shouldn't be too damn hard…'

Lost in the memories, he failed to detect the various looks he was receiving from the residents of the dojo. Some were looks of awe, for rumours of his earlier battle with Tsuruko had spread. Others were looks of envy, as he was currently walking beside the woman, his features and build a distinct contrast to her regal beauty, though no doubt fact that some of the looks were coming from female trainees would've had his hackles rising.

"You carry yourself well in those clothes, Kuwabara-kun." Tsuruko complimented, snapping the man out of his thoughts "You must be warding the girl's off with a stick."

"I wish…" the man joked good naturedly, scratching one of hsi cheekbones "Growing up I'd have had ta club 'em over the head just to get 'em ta hold still long enough ta ask th' time."

"Children can be so cruel." Tsuruko agreed, something flashing in her eyes for a split second, to be replaced by her regal smile "Still, they didn't manage to dampen your good nature."

Kuwabara blushed, looking away and scratching his nose at the compliment, even after all these years he was still a sucker to them. He did however, finally notice that they had left the compound behind, and that the area had changed from woodland to barren, blighted rock. 'Okay…' he muttered, eyeing the darkened sky around him as his danger-senses went off like a fire alarm 'There is no way in hell that the sun sets this quickly around here.'

"It doesn't." Tsuruko conceded, smiling at the startled man as she led the way "This is one of the most restricted areas of the Shinmeiryuu compound…only master class warriors are permitted, no outsider has set foot here in generations."

"Uh…should I leave?" the tantei asked, a little unnerved by the distinct absence of life the area was giving off. He felt like he'd set foot in the Makai again, an experience he most certainly didn't expect to be reminded of anywhere on earth.

"No." Tsuruko countered reassuringly, which for some reason made him all the more reluctant to follow her "The area where your training shall take place is up ahead."

'Must be some kinda training if only masters can even come here!' The tantei muttered, wishing like hell that he knew what the hell the woman was thinking. Since he couldn't, he tried casting his awareness out, only to retch as the aura of desolation washed over him from all sides.

"Please be careful." Tsuruko warned, putting a comforting hand on his back as his heaving calmed "This is the site of a great battle that was waged centuries ago between a demon and the Shinmeiryuu." She frowned "The battle was so fierce it scarred the landscape irrevocably, the demon so powerful it couldn't be destroyed, only sealed in the sword of a warrior who gave his life to stop it."

"An ancestor of yours?" Kuwabara asked, only to blink as the woman shook her head, and enigmatic smile on her face that spoke of some hidden agenda.

"While the honor such a relation would bring to us would be great," she admitted "I am happy to say he wasn't of the Aoyama clan…otherwise his offspring would be off limits."

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Far away, a bespectacled Ronin sneezed, resulting in him being sent heavenward once again, courtesy of the shaved gorilla he, for some unfathomable reason, kept trying to impress.

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Unaware of the dilemma their conversation had caused, the two continued onward, Kuwabara's sense of foreboding increasing with every step, until he was wholeheartedly wondering why in the hell he wasn't running in the opposite direction. "We're here." Tsuruko called out, snapping the tantei out of his daze, raising his fists in preparation as he gazed upon…a gate.

Admittedly, there was nothing outwardly special about it; it was merely a door of wrought iron, set into the wall of a rock formation that, most likely, led to a cave. What was ominous were the heavy chains attached to the gate, tethered to the giant statues of particularly violent looking deities that stood on either side of the door. Warding talismans and ropes adorned many of the boulders lining the area, much like a temple, warding off evil influences.

But Kuwabara's senses couldn't be fooled, even if the warding talismans did make the place look secure to an extent, there was no mistaking their purpose.

'These aren't for keeping things away.' The tantei deduced, eyeing the gate with trepidation as a dark, malignant aura emanated from it 'It's to keep something IN.'

"I see you've arrived…Kuwabara-kun." Seiko's voice echoed around them, the tantei looking up to find Tsuruko's mother standing near the entrance to the cave "Thank you Tsuruko…I shall take it from here."

Tsuruko bowed to her mother, turning on her heal to return to the compound, her bangs covering her eyes. As she parted however, just as she was passing the confused tantei, their eyes met, and the tantei was surprised to see the concern in those normally reserved eyes. "Be careful…Kuwabara-kun." The current shihan of the Shinmeiryuu offered, her tone concerned, yet solemn. And then she was gone, disappearing in a burst of speed that would've impressed Hiei.

'Can everyone friggin; teleport but me?' Kuwabara wondered bitterly, anything to keep his mind off the woman's distressing words 'More importantly…why do I have the feeling I'm not gonna like what's in that cave?'

"You have every right to feel unsettled." Seiko assured him, her hands resting atop a sheathed nodachi "This gate is known as the Shuren no Mon, and has served as a right of passage for many of the Shinmeiryuu."

"Kinda…dark for a training site…don't-cha think?" Kuwabara muttered, sidestepping a small tendril of darkness that drifted past "I mean…I thought you guys were exorcists?"

"We are...to an extent." Seiko allotted, "However, many of us lack the inner strength to face the unknown, others have been deemed unworthy, or have fallen from grace."

She turned to face the gate, her eyes narrowed "Inside this chamber, a warrior will face their inner demons, their greatest fears, in continuous combat." She shook her head "I cannot tell you what you will face, for the experience is unique to each individual, you could be beset by nightmares, denied the ability to scream, you could be asked to meditate whilst being assaulted by visions, or even fight your closest friend…or family."

Kuwabara blinked, noting how the woman seemed to sag inwards, as if showing her age for the first time. He reached out a tentative hand, only to pull it back as she straightened, the hard look returning full force.

"Kuwabara-kun." Seiko called out "What you face in these caves will be one of the toughest challenges ever" her eyes locked onto his own "It will break you, remake you, then brake you again and again, until only what cannot be broken remains…will you proceed?"

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Kuwabara swallowed, an instinctive desire to run for the hills taking him over, before being beaten back by his innate stubbornness and the knowledge that he'd already faced his worst fear twice, once before awakening his power, the other in the caverns beneath Mushiyori city. "I'll do it." he declared, stepping forwards whilst punching his palm "I've faced worse things than caves…and there's only one thing I fear, and that WON'T be happening any time soon."

"So you say." Seiko noted, though there was a hint of pride in her eyes "Very well, I shall open the gates for you."

Turning her back to the tantei, the current head of the Aoyama family drew her Nodachi, striking a stone covered in talisman ropes, causing it to chime like a bell. The note rose, a rumble emanating from all sides as the great gates cracked open, painfully slowly, until the entrance was bared to all.

"The way is open." Seiko uttered, standing before the passage with her back to the teen, though Kuwabara could sense the unease in her aura "I can go no further, the rest is up to you."

Kuwabara nodded, stepping forwards, only to blink as the Aoyama Matriarch placed a hand to his wrist, eyes widening as she placed a kiss on his forehead. "Come back to us in one piece, Kuwabara Kazuma-kun." She ordered, a wane smile on her face, before placing a hand to his chest.

Kuwabara was so stunned by the action that he didn't even notice the surge of ki near his ribs until he was sent flying through the air backwards, feeling like he'd taken one of Urameshi's reigun blasts right in the stomach, even as the gates shut before him, cutting off all light.

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Genkai frowned as Kuwabara's reiki dropped off her mental radar. She wasn't worried, as an A-class fighter there were few threats he couldn't face, and the few that did exist weren't stupid enough to march into Shinmeiryuu territory to have a crack at him. On the other hand, the very fact that she KNEW how the Shinmeiryuu operated didn't set her mind completely at risk.

'They may produce top-class demon hunters and exorcists,' she muttered, recalling seeing a troop of them in action during an incident in Kyoto that culminated in a demon being sealed in a sword 'but damn if they don't have a penchant for driving people over the edge.'

And this wasn't a metaphor, most masters of the Shinmeiryuu had more than a few screws loose due to the grueling training. They weren't insane per say, but their little quirks took a lot of getting used to.

'And then there's the Shinmeiryuu battle aura.' She muttered, suppressing a wry chuckle as she recalled seeing Tsuruko's father use it for the first time 'Damn near blasted the poor bastard into a tree, thought he was the demon we were hunting.'

Needless to say, the Shinmeiryuu learned to never to put on their 'game face' in her presence without letting her know they were there.

What? You think with countless demons vying for her head, she took the time to differentiate one bloodthirsty maniac from the other? She may hold the title of psychic, but she wasn't infallible.

"Genkai-shihan." Yukina called out, stepping into view with a tray of green tea and crackers, a mildly concerned look on her face "Kazuma-kun's reiki…"

"I know dear." Genkai assured the Koorime maiden, wishing she was as certain of the man's well-being as she was acting "But there's no need for worry, if anything could take out the lunkhead Koenma wouldn't have let me send him off on his own."

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"Koenma-sama!" yelped the ever worrying blue ogre known as Saotome George as he stumbled into his leader's room with all the grace of a sack of potatoes "Kuwabara just dropped off the radar!"

"What?!" Koenma yelped, knocking over a stack of papers that, thankfully, had already been stamped and sorted "What the hell are reconnaissance doing!?"

"Koenma-sama!" Ayame called out, appearing out of thin air on her oar, her normally composed features showing hints of urgency "The Tartarus system is showing signs of activity!"

Koenma blinked, a little stunned at that. While hardly as important as the sudden disappearance of his recently elected reikai tantei, the fact that one of the many portals to the underworld on earth was active again was most unsettling. And knowing his lucky streak of late, the god-ling just KNEW the two cases were very closely related.

"What type of energies is Tartarus giving out?" he asked, turning to Ayame, who pulled out a pocket computer and pulled up the relevant information in record time.

"Relatively stable ones sir." She assured him, earning a sigh of relief, "Slight temporal alterations, manifestation of an uninhabited section Makai…" she frowned "And the summoning of a condemned spirit."

Koenma frowned, not liking the sound of THAT at all. Normally condemned spirits were bound to the plane of hell they were cast into, never to escape until either atonement or they cease to exist. True a lot of them had been 'paroled', after it was revealed they'd been manipulated by his sire, not to mention given free counseling and psychiatric help/evaluation to ensure they weren't a threat to humanity, but there were a few that had rightfully deserved their spot in the pits, and the thought of one of them running amok on earth, albeit in a parallel dimension, was NOT comforting.

"Which spirit is it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as Ayame handed him the file, only for his pacifier to drop from numb lips to the floor with an audible clatter "…oh god no…"

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"Ow…" Kuwabara groaned, holding his midriff as he tried to regain his footing, a little difficult seeing as every ounce of air had been forced from his body by Seiko's little stunt "What'd I do to deserve that?" he wondered "For that matter…where am I?"

The man's concerns were well founded, for the barren landscape that stretched for miles in all directions was NOT what you expected to find in caves. Barren plains of scorched ground, the trees stunted and withered by either heat or drought, but more likely the stagnant aura of youki that hung in the air like a fog. The cracked earth was a dull rusty colour that reminded the tantei far too much of blood, and it'd take an act of God to force him to forget the air this place gave off.

"The Makai." He breathed, wincing as he regained his footing, his eyes taking in every minute detail of the wasteland "How in th' heck did I get here? For that matter…why th' heck am I here? I thought I was gonna be training."

"And so you will." A deep voice assured him, though the calmness it radiated didn't stop the tantei from freezing like a block of ice, turning slowly to eye the figure that was standing behind him in horrified disbelief.

Tall, frightfully so, at least a good ten feet in height with a lean, almost lanky build that belied his years as a master class fighter. His black hair was shaved at the sides beneath a flat-top. He wore black dress pants over smart, yet comfortable shoes. A green vest was tucked into said pants, with the rest of his frame concealed by the open green trench coat he wore. His hands were in the pocket of said coat, as per the norm, and the light shone off his stylish black shades as he gazed down at the stammering tantei.

"It's been a long time…" the giant noted, a hint of amusement in his deep baritone, the corner of his lip quirking slightly in amusement as he spoke "Kuwabara."

"T…Toguro…" Kuwabara stammered, gaping at the long dead human turned B-rank demon in disbelief, the old, gut wrenching terror rising to the fore as he took an involuntary step back "But you…you're-!"

"Dead? Yeah." Toguro admitted, as if commenting on the weather, shrugging his shoulders indifferently "Fire and brimstone, eternal suffering, all that jazz." He shrugged slightly "Nothing special."

"Nothin' special?!" Kuwabara snapped, pointing at the demon in a rage "Koenma said you were consigned to the last level of hell! The worst of the worst! No-One's ever gotten out of there!"

"And yet I stand before you." Toguro shot back, silencing the tantei as he continued to gaze at him from behind those emotionless black sunglasses "You've grown."

"Duh, s'been what? Ten years?" Kuwabara muttered, hands in his pockets as he tried to alleviate the shaking, with limited success 'Dammit! Toguro's middle B-class! I'm pushing A-rank prime! I shouldn't be scared of hi-!'

"But you are." Toguro cut in, smirking as the former teen gaped at him in alarm "I'll admit I was a pretty dull apparition, bulging muscles were about all I could do." He tapped the side of his head "Still, I WAS one of Genkai's comrades, being able to read each other's minds made tag-teaming pretty damn easy."

"How come you never used that stuff against Urameshi?" Kuwabara wondered, eyeing the not-so-jolly-demon-giant warily "If you could'a read his mind you'd have won easily!"

"True." Toguro allotted, tilting his head slightly "But winning was never my intention, only the fight with Urameshi mattered…" he trailed off, eyeing his right palm for a few seconds before clenching it "And besides…those skills were from a different life…a demon had no place using them."

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Kuwabara eyed the silent giant once again, noting, to some surprise, that he wasn't giving off the intimidating aura that had kept him awake at night for weeks when he'd spied the man standing with Urameshi in the ruins of a building the giant had leveled just to show off how much he'd been holding back when they first met.

'Guy probably didn't even use 10% of his strength.' The tantei muttered, bending his knees slightly to avoid any sudden moves, knowing first hand Toguro was as fast as he was strong. He hadn't seen the giant when Toguro had stabbed his fingers into his chest all those years ago, even though he'd been charging right at him.

"What're you doin' here?" he asked at length, eyeing the first MAJOR threat he and Urameshi had ever faced with a sense of trepidation and a hint of his old teenage terror "Back for revenge?"

"Hardly…" Toguro chuckled, "I got what I wanted out of my fight with Urameshi…I was even content to consign myself to the deepest pits of hell." He pulled off his shades, revealing the calm, narrow eyes underneath "No…I'm here because of you."

"Me?" Kuwabara wondered bleatingly, reaching for his Tameshi no ken the entire time in case the demon decided to 'hulk-out' on him "What'd I do ta piss you off?"

"You stepped into the Shuren no Mon." Toguro replied, apparently going into lecture mode, pointing at the teen as he spoke "Inside this gate, time moves at a slower space, three days outside being the equivalent to three months in here." He smirked "That's three months to whip you into shape."

Kuwabara blinked, eyes widening as he came to grips with what the human-turned-demon was implying "You…" he stammered, gaping like a fish "You're supposed to be training me?"

"Surprised me too." Toguro admitted, rolling his shoulders slightly "I was all set to roast for eternity, but apparently whoever designed this place knew their stuff…yanked me right out of the pits just so I could be here."

"B-but why you?" Kuwabara stammered, eyes wide "I mean no offence, but weren't we enemies? You killed Genkai-Baachan for cryin' out loud!"

"A necessary evil." Toguro muttered, though he averted his eyes as he spoke "Urameshi had a hundred foot wall of pure bullshit between his power and his emotions...something that would've hindered him if not dealt with." He eyed the former delinquent carefully "But then…you'd know all about motivational trauma…wouldn't you?"

Kuwabara suppressed a flinch, but it showed that he'd gotten the message. He'd pulled the martyr card during the tournament to get Yusuke's ass in gear…only for Yusuke to do the same against Sensui.

'The only difference being Toguro was playing us the whole time,' the tantei muttered to himself, eyeing said demon the whole time 'But I'm not like Urameshi…I don't think I got any 'come back from the dead' cards going for me.'

"We going to stand here shooting our mouths off all day or are we going to train?" Toguro asked, tilting his head to the side "Not that it matters to ME, I'm hell bound when this is all over either way, but I'd like to at least TRY to enjoy myself for a while."

"How is training supposed to be fun?" Kuwabara asked, only to shiver as the giant slowly pulled off his jacket, the grin on his face terrifying the former delinquent to no end.

"Oh you won't be having any fun…" Toguro assured him, even as his muscles rippled in the telltale manner of the activation of his youki "You're in my training camp now Kuwabara…and I'm not as nice as Genkai."

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Genkai looked up sharply, her eyes narrowing as something on her mental radar literally sparked, before abruptly dieing down.

'If I wasn't so used to them popping up I'd ignore these feelings of concern.' She muttered, reaching for her tea mug, which had cracked along the side, watching as Yukina swept up the shattered remains of a mirror that had fallen off the wall as the clock chimed thirteen times 'Still…I can't help but feel slighted for some reason…like a muscle bound idiot just badmouthed me in some way…'

She shrugged, sipping her tea tentatively to prevent spillage, the only muscle head that knew of her and DARED to pass comment being long since dead and buried…along with all their dreams of the past.

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And so it begins...

Cue Nadesico music:

Narrator: What ho! A foe from the past casts a perilous shadow over Kuwabara!

Toguro: SLOW!!!

Narrator: Will our hero surivive his cruel minstrations!

Toguro: DODGE!

Narrator: And will he survive long enough to see the fruits of his labors!

Narrator: Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara; Toguro's Tremendous Tortuous Training's Testamanet!

Toguro: This guy always so bad with titles?

R&R Or be the designated punching bag for Toguro...and he's practicing the Junk-Punch.

* * *


	25. Chapter 25

When we last left our hero he was knee deep in the smelly stuff, trapped inside the Shuren no mon for the equivalent of three months with Toguro.

How have things proceeded without Kuwabara keeping an eye on things?

HEAVEN OR HELL?

LET'S RAWK!

* * *

25th period.

Negi gasped as he ran down the darkened hallways of the head temple of the Kansai magical association, staff clenched tightly between his fingers. Things had been rough since Kuwabara had disappeared on them, first Nodoka had come out of left field with a confession that had overloaded the poor welshman's mind, then Asakura had found out about his magic, which culminated in everyone sitting seiza in the hallway as a result of his botched attempts at using Onmyo-wizardry, and his unwittingly creating a second pactio with Nodoka.

Then they'd been assaulted, on two fronts, by the dissenters from the Kansai MA, one group, consisting of Tsukuyomi from the first night, trying to kidnap Konoka at Movie Village, the other involving an Inu Hanyou called Inugami Kotaro, who was hell bent on driving Negi's face into the proverbial pavement in order to prevent the delivery of the message, only for Nodoka and her new pactio to come to the rescue.

Long story short, they had delivered the letter to Konoe Eishun, Konoka's father and the Elder of the Kansai MA, who claimed to be one of his father's old nakama, and he certainly had the battle scars to prove it. Eishun, grateful for the promptness and the care Konoka had been given, offered the group, plus a few tagalongs in the form of Kazumi, Haruna and Yue, a place to stay for the night, claiming the barrier around the shrine to be impregnable. Famous last words.

'I shouldn't have let my guard down!' Negi cursed, recalling the frozen features of the Elder, turned to stone by a high-level spell, even as Setsuna kept pace with him easily 'Now Asakura-san, Nodoka-san and Paru-san are petrified, and the enemy is still at large!'

"Negi-sensei!' Setsuna called, drawing his attention to a scream that sounded vaguely like Asuna, causing a chill to race down their spines, racing for the onsen.

"Sakurazaki-san!" the welsh wizard called out as he ran, looking at the sword-wielding student out the corner of his eye "Has there been any news from Kuwabara-san?"

"None." Setsuna replied, her face grim with concern as she matched his pace "I tried contacting the Shinmeiryuu, but they said he was unavailable." She scowled, "Which means either he's training…or the school is truly involved with the enemy."

Negi shivered, recalling how easily Setsuna had taken him down (subconciously flinching at the memory) and how deadly she'd been against Chigusa, it didn't take a genius to recognize the threat an entire school of such warriors could pose to their mission if they turned out to be the enemy.

"Here we are!" Setsuna yelled, slamming the doors open, only to gape at the sight of Asuna on the floor in a quivering mess "Asuna-san!" the kendo-ka called out, kneeling next to the taller redhead in concern "What happened?!"

"Set…suna…san…" Asuna wheezed, trembling like a leaf, as if each labored breath cost her as she lay in her classmate's arms "They…they took…"

"Oh...Oh God…" Setsuna gaped, her face shadowing in horror as she looked over the redhead's trembling form, various scenarios running through her mind "Asuna-san...don't tell me you were ra-?!"

"I was NOT!" Asuna snapped, recovering miraculously at the insinuation, swatting Setsuna between the eyes before doing the same to a confused Negi "But that guy…He's still here!"

No sooner had she said this did Setsuna react to an incoming attack from behind, swatting aside a strike to the back of her neck, only for the follow-up punch to catch her right in the ribs, sending her flying backwards. Her training allowed her to roll with the blow, ricocheting off the wall in an attempt to regain her balance, only for her injury to slip her up, sending her crashing into the floor in a heap.

"Setsuna-san!" Negi called out, eyes wide with concern, before rounding on the albino youth in anger "you…where've you taken Konoka-san?" he demanded, only to be met with an opaque stare that only increased his anger "How dare you…you've petrified my students, struck Setsuna-san, kidnapped Konoka-san…and done God knows WHAT to Asuna-san…"

Ignoring Asuna's protests of nothing of the sort happening, the son of Nagi Springfield gripped his father's staff tightly as he glared at his for "As a gentleman and their teacher…no, their FRIEND…I cannot forgive you!"

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The youth, ignoring Chamo's yells pf agreement and raised finger, merely sighed, as if bored with all the theatrics "And just what do you intend to do about it…Negi Springfield?" he asked, eyes as emotionless as a dolls "Surely you don't think you can defeat me?" he scoffed, water rising from the floor to envelop him like a ribbon "Right now you aren't worth the time."

"Wait!" Negi called out, cursing in a decidedly un-gentlemanly manner as the youth disappeared into the water without a trace, leaving them to lick their wounds.

"This is pretty high level teleportation magic." Chamo noted with concern, eyeing the portal warily, in case the freak changed his mind and decided to come back "Must be how he got past the barrier."

Negi scowled, only half listening to his ermine companion as he called a towel off the rack to cover Asuna "Please wait here, Asuna-san." He stated, not looking at her as he eyed the woods outside the compound "I'll bring Konoka-san back."

"We should hurry!" Setsuna insisted, limping towards them as Asuna gazed up their sensei dazedly "If I can follow his ki we can-" she cut off mid-sentence as her ribs ached.

"We should listen to what the elder said!" Chamo called out as Negi insisted on healing the swordswoman's wounds "That kid ain't normal, no buts about it, running in half cocked is suicide!" he shivered, a burst of perverse brilliance racing through his ermine mind as he began to chuckle "Setsuna-san…" he drawled, "Do you like Aniki?" he chuckled at her reaction "So would you be adverse to giving him a quick smooch?"

"VERMINE-ERMINE!" Asuna shrieked, flattening the poor sprite into the floor with the palm of her hand as Setsuna and Negi gaped at each other in alarm "What the hell are you scheming at a time like this?!"

"The pactio Ane-san!" Chamo squealed, desperate to avoid becoming an pancake "I'm just saying that since Setsuna-san can already use ki, adding Aniki's magic to the mix would send her power through the roof!"

"B-but a kiss is…" Setsuna stammered, her face redder than a baked beet as she looked at the floor, holding onto her Yunagi tightly "A-after all…I have to think of Oujo-sama…"

"Aw what's the harm?" Chamo teased, puckering up and making smooching noises, eyes sparkling in a truly disturbing manner, right up until Asuna nailed him to the wall "T-tap out...tap out!"

"Anyways…" Setsuna coughed, "I left a message for Umino-sensei when we called earlier." She nodded reassuringly "If there's anyone I can trust in the Shinmeiryuu its him."

"So he'll try to contact Kuwabara-san?" Negi asked, concern for his older colleague and comrade in his tone.

"Hopefully." Setsuna muttered, even as they marched out into the woods "I just hope things aren't as bad as I thought."

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'So they are moving already…' Seiko muttered, hands pressed together in prayer as she sat under a waterfall in nothing but her undergarments, meditating on the matters at hand 'Blood will flow, brother shall turn against brother, and fools will make fools of us all once again…' she scowled, the water falling short as her aura surrounded her 'Not on my watch…'

"Seiko-sama!" Umino-sensei called out, dashing into the clearing, his face fraught with concern, kneeling before the clan head, unabashed at her near-nude form "Tsuruko-sama…she's gone!"

"Gone?" Seiko repeated, standing from her position with the grace of a crane, her nodachi suddenly in her hand as she descended from the raised basin "How long ago?"

"Unknown milady." The instructor muttered, rising to assist his former student with her clothing, unconcerned with her state of near-nudity "But if I may be so bold, she has seemed a little antsy as of late, ever since…"

"The fight with Kuwabara-kun." Seiko finished for him, sighing in that long-suffering manner mothers reserved when children misbehave "Ah well, it will be good to see her skills in use again."

"But…Seiko-sama!" Iruko insisted, looking at the clan head in concern as he held up her Uwagi "Konoka-Oujo-sama is the target! If anything has happened to her-!"

"Then the fool that conceived this farce of a plan is already dead." Seiko muttered, fastening her Hakama in place with a tight tug "Tsuruko shall see to that."

To this Iruko had nothing to say, for he knew first hand what happened when Tsuruko's temper was sparked. Few things terrified the old master, and the 'game face' of the daughter of his former student, and by proxy his own student, was one of them. "But that's beside the point!" he insisted "There's the alliance to think of! If Konoka-Oujo-sama learns the truth-!"

"Umino-sensei…" Seiko called out, snapping the man out of his rant as she held one delicate finger in the air, as if testing for wind "How long has Kuwabara-kun been in the gate?"

"Two days at least." The instructor replied, quirking an eye brow in confusion, "which by itself is an achievement, but what does that have to do with-?" He fell silent as a rumble shook the complex, eyes widening as a burst of demonic aura registered on his senses, several miles from them "B-Bakana!" he exclaimed, whipping around in alarm "The gates…!"

"Umino-sensei…" Seiko called out, her serene smile in place as the instructor turned to face her, her eyes following two decidedly familiar auras as they vanished off the grounds "Please see to it that the trainees understand this isn't an attack."

"Seiko-sama?" Iruko wondered, only for his face to settle into its usual calm mask, bowing at the waist before dashing off to calm the students, who had been roused by the wave of aura and were already scouting for intruders.

"Take care, Kuwabara-kun." Seiko wished, looking out at the moon in the sky with a smile "And good hunting…my daughter…"

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"You brats are certainly persistent…" Chigusa muttered, gazing down at the three interlopers from before, a little annoyed at their constant interruptions, "but I see that Neanderthal isn't with you this time," she noted, rubbing her cheek tenderly, as it still felt quite raw "you think you stand a chance without him?"

"Better than you think, Amagasaki Chigusa!" Setsuna called out, startling the Onmyo sorceress with her knowledge of her name "By tomorrow morning the reinforcements the elder sent for will have arrived, all of them looking for you! If you understand that then you'll surrender immediately and-!"

"Reinforcements?" Chigusa repeated, her tone droll and mocking as she stepped forwards "By all means, send as many as you can after me…once I get to the shrine it's all over."

"You think we'll just let you go?!" Asuna called out, only for her eyes to widen as Chigusa stepped daintily off the boulder and onto the surface of the lake.

"It's time you brats knew just what you were dealing with…" Chigusa noted, arms spread wide as her monkey golem brought a naked, bound Konoka to her "Once I give you a taste of Oujo-sama's power…you'll wish you were still cowering back at the Temple!"

The group flinched, Setsuna glaring at the sorceress as she slapped a slip of paper to the girl's neck, eliciting a scream from Konoka as her magical energies were forcibly brought to the surface. "Oujo-sama!" Setsuna yelled, and would have raced to the girl's side, were it not for the multitude of summoning arrays that were filling the area between them, from which a multitude of horned apparitions were forming.

"I'm still a little sore about the other day." Chigusa called out, her cheek aching as she spoke "So I'll let these guys have some fun with you for a while." She smirked at them "Oh don't worry, they won't kill you…maim and cripple maybe, but I'm not the type that enjoys killing brats."

And with that she left, laughing all the while, with her golem and the white haired youth in tow.

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"Oi-oi what's this?" a member of the bird-clan muttered, tilting his head slightly to ogle their prey in annoyance "We're finally summoned after all this time and all we get is a bunch of children?"

"Tell me about it." a rather thuggish looking oni growled "I haven't had human since the new decree was announced, you ask me Mukuro-sama's got a few screws loose."

"B-Baka! Don't speak her name!" one of his fellows stammered, swatting upside the head as the group looked around in fear "what if she was summoned her too huh?!"

"No chance of that." The apparent leader muttered, though he looked uneasy "There's no-one alive strong enough to summon an S-rank demon to this plain…though I'm surprised so many of us made it." as it were he shrugged his shoulders and sighed "Though it's tough luck for you kids…since we're under contract we can't show any mercy…" we titled his head apologetically "try not to hold it against us."

"Seems a shame tho…" one scraggly character noted with a leer, causing Setsuna to scowl and Asuna to shiver in disgust "These little chicks seem pretty tasty."

"Bah, you and your fantasies you old letch." A random female oni muttered, earning a few chuckles from the crowd, "I prefer mine with more meat on them…though that kid looks pretty tasty…I could just swallow him whole!"

'Most of these guys are D-rank bordering on C-rank.' Setsuna muttered, shivering slightly at the sheer misfortune as Asuna and Negi stood back to back with her 'I can probably handle some of them," she shot the leader and a few others a look "but there's a couple of C-rank primes in there…not something Asuna-san is ready for.'

Negi, trying to avoid the looks some of the demons were giving him, summoned a tornado out of thin air to buy some time for them to strategize, much to the annoyance of the gathered oni. "What are we going to do?" he asked, trying to maintain the spell as long as possible "This isn't looking too good!"

"We've no choice but to split up." Setsuna muttered, drawing looks of alarm from the duo "I'll stall the demons while you two rescue Oujo-sama." She smiled at their protests, honestly touched by their concern "Relax, exterminating demons is my specialty."

"Then I'm staying too!" Asuna insisted, earning looks of shock from the group "We can't leave Setsuna-san alone with these freaks!"

"That might not be such a bad idea…" Chamo muttered, looking thoughtful as he eyed the redhead's harisen in approval "Ane-san's harisen sends summoned creatures back to the ether, logically speaking she's got a one-hit kill when it comes to these guys!" he looked to Negi "aniki, if you only bolster he defense, how long can you prolong the pactio?"

"Five…maybe ten…" the Welshman muttered, running the numbers through his head with a grunt "no longer than fifteen minutes max." he finished at length "And that's being optimistic."

"Crap…but better than nothing." Chamo muttered, actually a little pleased with himself, at Negi's level, less than Ten minutes should've only been the optimistic limit "While we're at it, we should avoid that git with the white hair and focus on getting Konoka-nee-san back…and with Aniki alone he can fly…" he grinned "Got it! Ane-san and Setsuna-nee-san, you distract the demons while Aniki and I grab Konoka-nee-san! Then we regroup and beat feet back to the temple until those reinforcements arrive!"

"I dunno…" Asuna muttered, looking out through the breaks in the tornado at the annoyed horde of demons "there's a lotta holes in that plan…"

"Frankly I'm wont to agree with you but we don't got time to nitpick!" Chamo countered, shaking a paw for emphasis "The barrier's coming down any second now!"

"I understand." Setsuna muttered, her face set in a determined frown as she spoke, her hand tightening around the hilt of Yunagi as she nodded "Let's do it."

"All Right!" Chamo cheered, pumping an ermine fist as he cackled "In that case! Let's try the pactio again!" He cheered, making smooching noises only for Setsuna and Negi to balk "This ain't the time to be squeamish!" the ermine roared, towering over them with drool dripping from his maw "The more cards we have the more firepower we can call up!"

"I-I suppose…" Negi stammered, standing ramrod straight as his friend drew the pactio circle around him and Setsuna, the older girl flushing slightly, much to Asuna's annoyance.

"Could you two hurry it up!" Asuna yelled over the howling wind and the sounds of violence outside "Those guys are sound like their building up to a riot out there!"

"R-right…" the two in the circle stammered, before leaning in, light flaring from the circle as the pactio was completed, Chamo singing with glee as he caught the Pactio card out of the air as it formed.

"Quit staring at each other and get ready!" Asuna snapped, the flush adorning her cheeks nothing compared to the one on Negi's, Setsuna snapping out of her daze with an embarrassed shake 'Good grief, that kids more likely to become a gigolo than a mage at this rate!' she muttered, confused as to why she even cared.

Positioning themselves as best they could, the girls prepared to dash out after Negi, who was readying his Jovis Tempestas, distracted the oni enough to make a clean break for the shrine as the barrier came down.

None of them expected the scene that awaited them when the tornado vanished.

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"D-damn…" the leader of the oni muttered, covered in fresh, bleeding scars from head to foot, one arm cut off at the elbow as he held himself upright with his club, a Kitsune-onna on his shoulder trying to staunch the bleeding "How'd you find us so fast?"

"It was simple really." a mocking voice pointed out, the owner a diminutive, red-eyed figure in a black cloak with spiky black hair and a drawn katana "Without the barrier separating the worlds it's child's play for trash to sneak through the naturally occurring gateways." He smirked, dropping the limp form of a member of the bird tribe as he spoke "There's nothing we can do about those portals, but the ones you and your friends came through were created with summoning magic…MUCH easier to track."

"Damn…" one of the random oni cursed, covered in slash wounds as he and his fellows surrounded the swordsman "We haven't even been here for a minute and already the patrols are onto us…"

"I really don't see why you'd bother to come here." The figure scoffed, snorting in dismissal "I've spent enough time in the human world to know it's populated by fools that don't know what they want." He eyed the woods around them carefully "Though I'll admit the scenery can be pleasant enough, though you slaggards probably wouldn't care for that."

"What the hell do you know Hiei?!" a random voice called out from amongst the crowd "You don't need to eat humans to survive! We're starving here!"

"Then I suggest you follow Raizen's group's example and start cultivating humans like the Shiseijuu used to." Hiei replied, tapping his sword against his leg to shake the blood off it "Though quite frankly I couldn't give a damn."

"Dammit! Stop looking down on us you little shit!" several members of the bird tribe yelled out, lunging at him with their swords drawn, several oni following in their wake.

"You want to die?" Hiei asked, seemingly amused at their bravado, shaking his head in dismissal as he raised his swords "Orokana-me…"

He blurred out of sight, the attacking demons blinking in confusion, only to fall screaming to the floor a second later, some missing limbs, and others merely hacked to pieces, staining the water beneath them a coppery red.

"The rules clearly state that Ningenkai is off limits to denizens of Makai." Hiei stated, the horde whirling round to find him sitting peacefully on a branch, one leg dangling toward the ground and his sword sheathed "If you come quietly then I can at least guarantee that you won't suffer too much."

"Loved to comply…" the leader of the oni grunted, rising steadily to his feet "But the fact of the matter is we were summoned here, which means we have to fulfill the contract or destroy the summoner to go back."

"I had wondered why some of you were disappearing as I hacked at you." Hiei noted, watching the bird-tribe members he'd 'disarmed' vanish in plumes of smoke as they howled, his stare laced with intrigue "Still, it's your own fault for letting temptation get the better of you."

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"Ano…what the hell is going on?" Asuna stammered, pointing at the conversing demons, feeling a little put-on by the turn of events. She been psyching herself up for a major blow-out, instead their opponents seemed to be more concerned with a little slip of a guy that was almost as short as Negi.

"Setsuna-san?" Negi whispered, looking towards the swordswoman as he spoke, noting she seemed even more guarded than before "Is he an ally? Do you think we should all go while they're distracted?"

"No…" Setsuna muttered, shivering as she got a read on the red-eyed apparition's aura, and the barely contained malice that was roiling within it "He's no ally…at least not one of ours…"

"But…he's taken out half of them before we dropped the barrier!" Asuna insisted, waving her harisen for emphasis "Plus they're scared of him! So he has to be a good guy!"

"He's no good guy…" Setsuna muttered, backing up slightly as she kept her eye on the man "And he's certainly no ally, not the enemy's either, if anything he despises humans more than anything else."

"Then why'd he help us?" Negi wondered, wincing as all the hairs on Chamo's body threatened to stand up, tickling the Welshman's neck as he looked between the new arrival and the horde.

"I don't know…most likely he doesn't know we're here." Setsuna muttered, sounding oddly hopeful as she said it "In any case, we should get going while we can before someone-!"

"You there." The dark figure called out, startling the group as he flicked one crimson orb in their direction "Don't even think of going anywhere…I have some questions for you…" he narrowed his eyes at Setsuna "Especially you…half-breed."

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Cue the Nadesico music.

Narrator: A red-eyed vision from the past has arrived!

Hiei: Who the devil are you?

Narrator: Hidden beneath his cold stare lies a passion as fierce as his temper!

Hiei: Are you trying to annoy me?

Narrator: Can Setsuna's steel answer the call of this lonely heart?!

Narrator: Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: Little Hiei, Big Crisis!

Hiei:...(sound of a Katana unsheathing)...Die...

R&R or face the Kokuryuuha(Dragon of the Darkness Flame)

* * *


	26. Chapter 26

Everyone's favourite satanic chibi has arrived! Is he enemy? Or friend?

Let's find out shall we?

Heaven or Hell?

LET'S RAWK!!!

* * *

26th period.

Setsuna paled at the red-eyed apparition's words, her fingers tightening around Yanagi's grip like a lifeline as memories rushed through her, none of them pleasant. 'How did he know…' she wondered, shuddering as she recalled the ostracizing she'd suffered at the hands of the bird tribe all those years ago 'Could he…no impossible, I've never seen him before in my life…but still…'

"Sakurazaki-san?" Negi queried, snapping the girl out of her daze, as he took in her trembling frame out of concern, Asuna mirroring his expression on the kendo-ka's right "Are you feeling alright?"

"I-I'm fine…" Setsuna stammered, her face returning to her normal pallor as she turned her attention back to what remained of the horde "Sensei, we should stick with the plan, go rescue Oujo-sama while we hold these guys off."

"You're sure?" Negi whispered, looking not at the remaining members of the horde, though they were a pressing concern, but the red-eyed man that even now was eyeing them like a hawk "What about him?"

"I'll…think of something when it comes to that." Setsuna assured him, though she honestly had no idea what to do. If what her senses were telling her were right, this guy's Youki was easily A-rank prime material, the same as Kuwabara's, and so far he hadn't even exerted himself. 'Which means he's a lot stronger than what he's shown' she muttered 'so much so that even holding back he's pushing A-rank.' She swallowed determinedly 'This is definitely bad…but for Oujo-sama's sake, I cannot falter!'

"Go now Sensei!" she yelled, standing firm alongside Asuna, who stumbled into a horrendously open ready stance at the kendo-ka's look "Get Oujo-sama back and don't stop till you're back at the temple!"

"O-okay!" Negi stammered, blasting off on his wand towards the shrine Setsuna had indicated earlier.

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"And just where do you think you're going brat?" Hiei muttered, eyeing the human youth on the staff with annoyance as he prepared to follow, grimacing at the feel of magic emanating from the piece of wood "Western mages…such course tactics."

"ZANKUUSEN!"

Hiei blinked, leaping out of the tree just in time to avoid a wave of slicing air that reduced it to so much kindling. 'A Vacuum blade?' he wondered, before scowling in thought 'No…there was ki in the strike…' he turned to eye the black-haired half-breed in contemplation 'I see…perhaps I may find some amusement after all…'

"That was an interesting technique…" he called out, his tone amused as he looked down at the half-breed, noting the determination in her eyes "I have to admit I haven't seen anything like it in Makai."

"No demon that experiences a Shinmeiryuu technique lives to speak of it." Setsuna shot back, holding Yunagi at the ready as she glared at the red-eyed demon "And if you dare to target Negi-sensei again, you'll feel the full might of my sword!"

"Shinmeiryuu?" Hiei repeated, frowning slightly in thought "I've heard that name before…a rabble of demon hunters and exorcists if I'm not mistaken." He scowled, disdain apparent in his glare "Have you sunk so low that you'd exorcise your own kin, half-breed?"

"I have no kin amongst your kind!" Setsuna yelled, her eyes glowing with loathing comparable to Hiei's own as she readied herself, her blade held dual handed over her shoulder "I am Sakurazaki Setsuna of the Kyoto Shinmeiryuu!"

"So you think of yourself as human do you?" Hiei muttered, his eyes impassive as he dropped from his perch, advancing on the half-breed at a slow, deliberate pace, drawing his sword as he went "Then prepare to die like one."

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Setsuna cursed as the red-eyed horror disappeared, blocking a strike from above that would've cleaved her in two had she not reinforced her sword with ki. 'FAST!' the girl marveled, wincing as he pressed the advantage 'And strong too! I haven't been this pressed since that last spar with Tsuruko-sama!'

Feinting right she put some space between them and launched a Zanganken at the figure, only for him to blur out of sight again, forcing her back on the defensive. "You're pretty good." He offered, though there was mockery in his tone, and a smirk on his lips as he kept slashing at her, their blades crying against one another "I guess human techniques are good for something after all."

"Setsuna-san!" Asuna yelled, running past with a hand clamped over her skirt to keep it down, a horde of cackling oni on her tail.

"Hn, and here I thought females were the smarter of the species." The apparition noted with a scoff, even as Setsuna sweatdropped at the sight "What kind of baka comes to battle demons with their ass hanging out?"

"Who're you calling a baka, baka?!" Asuna shot back, sending several of the more perverse apparitions back to the ether with a wave of her harisen "And quit trying to flip up my skirt you-GAH!"

"Asuna-san!" Setsuna yelped, watching the girl stumble over the remains of a half-dissolved demon, allowing the gleeful horde to catch up, virtually dog piling on the girl as she fought them off one by one

"You have other concerns Half-breed!" her opponent called out, his sword screaming towards her neck, only to be intercepted halfway.

"Now that won't do…" a familiar voice noted, sending a chill down Setsuna's spine as she took in the blonde, sundress sporting form of her rescuer "I can't have anyone else taking Sempai's head."

"Tsukuyomi!" Setsuna spat, leaping back along with her opponent as the blonde beamed at her.

"Ah…you remembered!" the bespectacled outcast simpered, touching her flushing cheek with a smile as she tilted her head coyly "I haven't seen you since Movie village…has your arm healed?"

"Who the hell are you?" Setsuna's former opponent demanded, looking annoyed at the interference, his eye narrowing suspiciously and a dull purple glow appearing under his bandana "That steel…" he muttered, eyeing the blonde's swords "are you her comrade?"

"Comrade? Of course not…" Tsukuyomi replied smiling cutely at the demon, eyes closed behind her spectacles as she beamed at him like something out of a yuri shoujo manga "I'm her lover."

"THE HELL YOU ARE!" Setsuna spiked, embarrassment and revulsion battling for control of her face as almost every demon in the area gaped at them, even her red-eyed opponent seemed to lose focus temporarily, though he regained it well.

"Whatever…" he muttered titling his head slightly, refusing to let his surprise show on his face, after all, such things weren't so uncommon in makai "Am I to assume then that if I try to attack her you'll interfere again?"

"But of course…" Tsukuyomi preened, her eyes golden pools in darkness, a bloodthirsty aura emanating from her slim form that sent shivers down Setsuna's spine "After all, I'm the only one that can kill sempai."

"You humans and your courtship rituals." The demon scoffed, before blurring right in front of the demented prodigy "Let's see what you've got, onna!"

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"Fufufufu…" Chigusa chuckled, leering down at restrained Konoka as she lay on the podium, covered only by the towel she'd been abducted from the bath house in "The preparations are complete…we can begin now."

"Is this wise?" the albino youth queried, looking over at his employer with an impassive stare thatalways managed to creep her out "Letting so many Youkai run rampant like that would attract undue attention."

"Bah, you worry to much." Chigusa countered, mentally preparing the sutra of incantation as she tapped into Konoka's well of magical power "The reinforcements the elder summoned won't be here in time to do anything."

"Maybe…" the youth allotted, nodding his head to concede the point "But the Shinmeiryuu complex is not too far from here…and Tsukuyomi was exiled before she could recruit any others to the cause."

THAT gave Chigusa pause for thought, her eyes scrunching behind her glasses as she envisioned having to deal with the Shinmeiryuu on a less amiable front. It was likely they wouldn't take her kidnapping of Konoka-Oujo-sama very well; let alone what their reaction to her colleague's assault on the Main temple.

"I suggest we skip to the point." The youth opined, eyeing Konoka like a snake eyes a mouse, the girl shivering under the blanket, feeling unnaturally cold "Simply recite the sutra as fast as you can."

"I was planning that!" Chigusa snapped, and immediately began, a low glow filling the area.

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'These girls are pretty good.' Hiei noted with mild approval, pressing his attack (admittedly reigning in the majority of his ability) whilst fending the two of them off at the same time 'I may be holding back but they've come pretty close to drawing blood several times already…' he shot the Hanyou a quick glance before turning his attention to the…other one 'If I didn't know better I'd swear there was demon blood in that one.' He muttered, smirking as he blocked the giggling psychopath's swords with his own, sending a kick to her ribs to drive her back 'Still, I think that's enough fun and games for today.'

"I applaud your skill ladies." He called out, slipping under their strikes and sheathing his sword in a classic Iai stance, even as they bore down on him from both sides "That said…playtime's over."

Neither swordswoman had a chance to put up their guard before a wave of youki and killing intent washed over them, sending them of balance as Hiei Drew his sword, the draft caused by the blow blasting them off their feet. 'Such force!' Setsuna yelped, eyes widening as she fought to keep her wings from instinctively bursting out of her back 'This bloodlust! No doubt about it! He definitely tops A-rank!'

"You're partially right." Hiei called out, startling the girl out of her thoughts "But I should warn you that in demon world the Ranking system gets a little…quirky, when it comes to beings Higher than A-rank."

"Higher than…that's impossible!" Setsuna stammered, eyeing the advancing horror in alarm, fighting to keep her knees from buckling under the preassure of his youki "A-rank is the highest rank assigned to demons on this plane!"

"That's true…and for all intents and purposes it will remain so." Hiei noted, a smirk on his face "But that's only because the more powerful beings can't come here without ripping a hole in the fabric of reality…I myself am only here because it's my job to round up these clowns."

"Then why are you attacking us?!" Setsuna demanded, shaken by the fact there were demons beyond A-rank waiting to claw their way into Ningenkai, only to shiver as the cold bite of his drawn katana was placed against her neck.

"Simple…" Hiei muttered, his tone flat as he eyed the back of her head, rearing his sword back for the finishing thrust, Tsukuyomi looking on in alarm, too far away to intercept the blow "YOU drew first."

Several gunshots pierced the air, Hiei leaping back, his sword slicing one of the projectiles in half as he put some distance between himself and a stunned Setsuna. "Who the hell?!" he called out, eyes narrowing as he espied several of the demons he'd seen chasing the redhead disappearing in puffs of smoke "Exorcising rounds? Who's there?!"

"You sure know how to pick 'em Setsuna." A calm voice called out, drawing everyone's attention to a tall, panther of a woman with black hair and golden eyes, a smoking rifle in her hands and a tanned, blonde girl in a Chinese dress "It's gonna cost you extra."

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"Mana-san?! Ku Fei-san!" Asuna yelped, gaping at the reinforcements in surprise as they drew closer to her position, the horde looking around in confusion at the new arrivals "What are you guys doing here?"

"Back-up." Mana replied simply, sinking into a crouch as she leveled her gun at Hiei "And as for you short stuff..." She smirked at his scowl "I wouldn't make any sudden moves if I were you."

"Hn…you ningen and your firearms." Hiei scoffed, stepping aside as a warning shot was fired "Give it up woman," he warned, dodging another shot "by the time you get me in your sights I'll have already sliced that toy of yours in half."

"Do try." Mana offered, unloading round after round at the swordsman, actually impressed with how he sidestepped them without much effort, only to blink as he blurred out of sight for a moment, followed by a look of amazement as her Rifle fell apart in her hands.

"I warned you." Hiei scoffed, only to lean out of the path of a punch from the tanned blonde, honestly surprised at her strength as it drifted past. 'High C-rank definitely.' He noted with approval, actually forced to dodge her strikes as she pursued him 'Fast too…a few more years and she'd probably have given Toguro a run for his money.'

"Why you dodge-Aru?" Ku Fei called out, not dropping the attack as she spoke, slipping from palm strikes to kicks, to chops, flowing between each attack with the grace of a master dancer "You scared to fight aru?"

"Hardly…" Hiei scoffed, backhanding the girl in the cheek, sending her rolling backwards expertly, only to regain her footing like a cat landing on all fours "I just don't have time to play with children."

"In that case…" and elegant voice opined, the hackles on Hiei's neck rising fully as he spun round to espy a figure standing on a rocky outcrop, bathed in moonlight "Perhaps you'd consent to cross swords with me?"

"Who are you?" Hiei growled, eyeing this newest interloper with annoyance, and a grudging hint of approval. Long black hair that seemed to shine in the moonlight; a stainless white Uwagi and Red Hakama that only seemed to accentuate her elegant form; she carried a nodachi similar to that of the Hanyou, and her features were of an elegant beauty that even HE could appreciate.

"I?" the vision repeated, sounding amused as a bizarre bird settled on her shoulders with a chirp, though the look in it's beady little eyes belied it's beauty "I am merely a simple housewife." She smiled at his scowl "However, I am also the current Shihan of the Kyoto Shinmeiryuu, and first daughter of the Aoyama Family…" she smiled at the Koorime "My name is Aoyama Tsuruko…Hajime-mashta."

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"BAAL'S BALLS!" a random Oni yelped, backing away on his ass, wetting himself in terror, "Bad enough Hiei came to round us up, now we gotta deal with the demon sword of Kyoto herself?!"

"I agree…" the leader muttered, his arm almost completely regenerated thanks to the Kitsune-Onna's attentions "This ain't favorable no matter what way we look at it, but we're still under contract."

"Screw the contract!" one of the oni yelped "We had a hard enough time with a trainee Shinmeiryuu and that girl's harisen! Now that SHE'S involved we'll be lucky to get sent back to Makai in a tinderbox!"

"Maybe not…" the leader muttered, looking from Hiei to Tsuruko thoughtfully "In fact, if we play our cards right…" An exorcising round clipped his horn, earning a roar from the oni as he rounded on Mana, who had drawn her desert-eagle air-guns and was emptying round after round into the remaining members of the horde. "Dammit! I ain't paid enough for this shit!"

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"Shihan you say?" Hiei repeated, an intrigued smirk crossing his features, even as the sounds of battle kicked off around them "I've never fought a truly capable human shihan before…" he sank into an Iai stance "Should be interesting."

"Indeed…" Tsuruko noted, her ever present smile in place as she drew her own Nodachi from it's sheath, the bells chiming "That said I haven't been on the front lines for some time…" her eyes glimmered, almost cat-like, in the shadows "so please forgive me if I'm a little rusty."

Hiei cocked an eyebrow, only to blink as she vanished, only his instincts saving him from the first slash as he spun round to block her nodachi with his own sword, grunting in surprise at the level of strength the woman possessed, easily an A-rank prime by demon standards. The two continued to press against one another, one smiling with disturbing amiability, the other a heated glare, before blurring out of sight, only the sounds of clashing steel, random uses of Chi techniques and the occasional standoff giving away their location.

'Rusty my foot!' Hiei marveled, an appreciative smirk forming on his face as he continued to lock horns with his opponent, a line of blood on his cheek from where a Zankuusen had come dangerously close to his head 'I haven't fought someone this skilled with a sword since Shigure!'

'He's a fast one,' Tsuruko noted with approval, smiling all the while as she slowly got back into the swing of things 'And he doesn't hesitate, going straight for the killing blow with each attack.' She smirked, their swords clashing yet again as she pressed her attack, sparks trailing between them 'That said, he's obviously self taught.'

"You're pretty good," Hiei opined as they held their blades against one another, sparks dancing as the steel grinded together "You actually made me switch hands…I never expected a human to push me that far."

"Such flattery." Tsuruko replied with a smile that only seemed to invite the demon to try harder, not letting up the preassure herself as she beamed at him genially "But don't you think this is enough of a warm up?"

"By all means." Hiei smirked, his Jagan blazing to life, burning his headband away as it glowed purple and green, drawing upon his vast youki reserves to grant it greater strength "Ladies first."

"Very well…" Tsuruko agreed, smiling all the while as she kept up the pressure "But first…your name, if you please?"

Hiei scoffed, though he kept his eyes, all three of them, on the woman in the as he did so, something he only did when he got serious "Hiei." He supplied, a smirk forming across his lips as he looked her in the eye "Not that it'll do you much good in hell."

"Very well then, Hiei-san." Tsuruko stated, her smile twisting into something dangerous as her eyes glowed golden in a sea of darkness "Try not to die too soon…"

Hiei barely had time to recover his balance as the woman leapt into the air, bringing a massive bolt of lightning down on his head.

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"That's Tsuruko-sama for you…" Tsukuyomi noted, sighing as she watched her former shihan follow up the Raimeiken with a Ryuhazan "So elegant even in her retirement…such a shame she's married."

'If that's retired I don't want to see what she was like in her prime!' Asuna thought in a panic as she watched the cackling woman and the red-eyed demon clash again 'And that other guy's creepy!' she thought, watching as a grinning Hiei lunged back into the fray like an energizer bunny from hell 'He just keeps smirking and coming back for more!'

"In any case…shall we continue Sempai?" Tsukuyomi asked, looking towards a recovered Setsuna with a smile "Now that Tsuruko-sama's dealt with the interloper, we can resume from our last encounter!"

"By all means, come." Setsuna growled, Yunagi held at the ready as she narrowed her eyes at the psychopathic Lolita "But don't think there'll be a next time...this time I'll cut your head from your shoulders."

"You're adorable when you're angry…!" Tsukuyomi simpered, before lunging forwards, her blades charged with ki as the two clashed, creating small waves where they stood and knocking nearby demons off their feet.

"Setsuna-san!" Asuna yelled, only to instinctively swat a lunging oni in the face, sending him howling back to Makaias her harisen did its job "Dammit!" the redhead snapped "They keep on coming!"

"Then fight on Aru!" Ku Fei called out from the side, delivering a punch that took out a group of the buggers, Mana dealing out rapid projectile death from a distance with her twin air-gun pistols "No disappoint, Baka Red!"

"DAREDA BAKAK-KA?!" Asuna roared, picking it up a notch as she tore into the remainder of the horde like a woman possessed, unconsciously flashing a few of them in the process.

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"What in the hell's going on back there?!" Inugami Kotaro growled, watching the after-affects of a bolt of lightning tore through the sky, followed by sounds equivalent to one of Toriyama's epic battle-scenes "That's some serious Ki they're throwing around over there!"

"It certainly is De Gozaru." One of Kaede's clones noted, coming up behind the youth with kunai in hand, nearly lopping off his spiky hair "But do you really think this is the time to be admiring someone else's fights?"

"INUGAMI!" Kotaro yelled, hurling one of his shadowy, canine summons at the clone, dispelling it, only for five more to take it's place, driving him into the air and warding off his summons with a giant, rotating shuriken 'Dammit! Forget the clones and focus on the original!' he cursed, trying to sense the real Kaede from amongst her copies, only for her to clobber him right in the gut, sending him rolling into the grass.

"You're pretty good, squinty-neechan!" he called out, relishing the challenge of fighting a stronger opponent "I can't believe someone like you'd be content to act the laid-back high-schooler!"

"You're pretty skilled yourself." The chunin called out cheerfully, her clones filling the clearing as she paused in her attacks, but not lowering her guard in the slightest "But don't you think it's time to take off the kid-gloves?"

"Sorry…" Kotaro scoffed, lunging at the teen as he did so "But going all out against women ain't my thing!"

Kaede eye-smiled, stepping out of reach of the attack with the ease of training, even as Yue watched from the shadows, unable to comprehend what was happening right before her eyes.

'This defies all logic!' the wide-browed bluenette wondered, watching as her fellow Baka-ranger went to town on the cocky pup, shinobi style 'It's like one of those fantasy novels Nodoka likes to read! Strength like this defies the laws of physics! It's entirely illogical!' she frowned in understanding 'But then I suppose that's what makes it magic.'

A rustling in the bushes caused her to whip round, worried that one of dog-boy's friends had snuck up on her, only for her eyes to widen as she gaped at the figure standing there.

"You're here too, Ayase-san?" said figure wondered, sounding amazed and bemused at the sight "Yare-yare, I take my eyes off the bozu for two days and already things go to hell." He shot the battle going on before them a cursory glance, before looking towards the lake "I'm guessing that's where all the fun's at huh? You two gonna be okay here?"

Yue merely nodded dumbly, her voice failing her as the figure nodded, sending a concerned look towards Kaede, before vanishing into the undergrowth as silently as he'd arrived. "He's improved." Kaede noted, scaring the bejeezus out of Yue as she appeared at the girl's side, an approving smile on her face "he's a lot stronger than before too…"

"But you're…how?" Yue stammered, pointing from the Koga beauty to the multitude of duplicates battling with Kotaro, the canine teen growing more vexed by the second as they ALL appeared to be fairly tangible, enough to leave a fair number of blows on him that is.

"Kage-bunshin." Kaede replied cryptically, as if that were all the answer her fellow Baka-ranger needed, smiling to herself as she watched her doppelgangers put Kotaro through his paces "Perhaps when this is over he can treat Sesha and Ku to a spar de-gozaru ne…"

'When did my life become so messed up?' Yue wondered blithely, only to gape as a beam of light rose up from the direction of the lake, catching everyone's attention.

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Pausing in his advance, the shadowed figure's eyes widened as he took in the sight before him, before shaking his head in disbelief. "Yare-yare…" he muttered, covering his face in exasperation "Just perfect, I can't even take my class on a damned field trip without some idiot tryin' ta being on arma-freakin'-geddon."

Shaking his head again, the figure advanced on the shrine with a glint in his eyes, the hilt of a sword held in one hand as his aura crackled around him.

"Not on my watch."

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Cue the nadesico music.

Narrator: What ho! Chigusa's dastardly plot is drawing to fruition!

Chigusa: OH-HOHOHOHOHOHO!

Narrator: Can our heroes make it in time to stop it?!

Hiei/Tsuruko: MINE!

Narrator: Will the blades of the shinmeiryuu drink deep of demon blood?!

Tsukuyomi: Oooh, Sempai!

Setsuna: Get away from me you freak!

Narrator: Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara, Clash! The maiden's heartfelt cry!

Kotaro: What the hell's up with this guy?

Review, or no more Hiei badassness.

* * *


	27. Chapter 27

Woo...things are heating up for the Negima crew!

Will Sukuna raise Kyoto to the ground? Or will Hiei beat him to it?

Let's find out shall we"

Heaven or hell?

LET'S RAWK!

* * *

27th period.

"What in the nine rings of hell is that?!" Hiei snapped, whipping round to glare at the pillar of light, his Jagan locking on to a fairly impressive Youki rising gradually along with it "Damn, how in the hell'd something that big slip under the radar?!"

"It seems the dissenters' plans have succeeded." Tsuruko opined, slipping out of her battle mode as she spoke, though her eyes still possessed a dangerous glint "Oh well, nothing to worry about."

"Are you insane woman!?" Hiei snapped, rounding on her in a fury that had been known to make even Mukuro raise an eyebrow "An S-rank Youkai is about to materialize on this plane and you say there's nothing to worry about?!"

"SAY WHAT?!" the assorted survivors of the horde yelped, knowing that to an S-rank demon they were no more than ants, or worse, yet, finger food "SCREW THIS WE'RE OUT OF HERE!" they yelled, throwing down their weapons and scattering into the woods, much to the annoyance of Hiei and Ku Fei.

"NO RUN ARU!" the Chinese kempoist called out, her eyes circles of fury as she stomped her feet in frustration as her prey, erm, challengers, made for the hills "COME BACK AND FIGHT LIKE MEN-ARU!"

"Your priorities sure are screwed Fei." Mana muttered, though she didn't stop taking potshots at the retreating demons, sending more than a few back whence they came, some sighing with relief as they did so.

"Hey…how come you aren't running away?" Asuna wondered, looking up at her opponents, the Oni leader and his Kitsune-onna companion, who merely watched the proceedings with a look on interest, or as much could be seen from their faces anyway.

"Meh, if we're gonna die anyway, may as well go down fighting." The big guy muttered offhandedly, raising his massive club to his shoulder "Besides, either way we're in for a hiding once Mukuro-sama gets a hold of us."

"Stop saying her name dammit!" one of the few remaining lackey oni called out, looking around fearfully as if merely saying it would act as a summons "We're in enough hot water as is!"

'Something tells me I don't want to meet this 'Mukuro' person.' Asuna deduced, wisely vowing to avoid anyone by that name in the future.

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'How strange…' Mukuro noted, wiping her nose delicately as she paused in her task at hand 'Is there a breeze in here? Maybe I should have the room checked out.'

Shrugging, she went back to her hobby, namely the 'preening' of her stepfather/slave master with a rusty pair of shears, designed to be used on the various carnivorous plants of Makai. The old demon's screams of agony were a delightful melody to her, and those who worked under her knew better than to interrupt it.

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"This is the vaunted prodigal son of the Thousand Master?" the albino youth muttered, cocking an eyebrow in aloof disdain as he held Negi's arm in a vice-grip "How boring…it would appear I seriously over-estimated you."

"You think so?" Negi asked, smiling at the youth despite the pain from his arm, before slapping the palm of his free hand into his opponent's midriff, a burst of magical energy enveloping him.

"A delayed spell?" the youth wondered, surprise registering on his face as he felt the bonds tighten around him. Now admittedly he could snap such a spell within a few minutes, but still the fact the boy had advanced so much to pull it on him...impressive.

"Hell yeah!" Chamo jeered, giving the albino youth the finger salute "Aniki cast Sagitta Magica while we were in the mist! And At point blank-range your anti-magic barrier ain't worth shit, so who's laughing now bitch!"

"How unpleasant…" the youth muttered, his face aloof once more "Do you really think I won't be able to break out of this eventually?" he eyed the ermine coldly, before switching his gaze to Negi "That said, you've made some terrific progress, I'm actually wont to change my opinion of you."

"Hah, act all cool if you want loser!" Chamo mocked, flipping the ermine equivalent of the bird at the trapped youth "It may be one of the basics, but that still gives us a ten second window to escape with Konoka-nee…san?"

He trailed off, gaping not at the spot where Konoka was decidedly NOT laying, but rather at the pillar of light that had formed behind it. "Fufufufu…you were saying?" Chigusa called out, a look of smug glee on her face as she levitated above the massive, glowing form of the biggest damn oni the two had ever seen, Konoka hovering prone before her "The ritual…was a success."

"What the hell?!" Chamo gaped, even as Negi gripped his staff in alarm, gazing up at the behemoth with a dread he hadn't felt since that night so long ago "That thing is...that thing's huge! Where in the hell did it come from!?"

"This is Ryoumen-Sukuna-no-kami" Chigusa introduced, hovering near the giant's face, a smug smirk adorning her own "A two-faced, four armed Demon-God that was defeated close to 1600 years ago." She smirked at the two confidently "They say it's over 180 feet high, but he's clearly bigger than that, in truth, it's a little scary."

All signs of confidence failed as she felt the magical energies of the Thousand Master's son surge once again, lightning and wind gathering around him as he finished his high level incantation, having chanted it while she was basking in her own self-importance.

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"JOVIS TEMPESTAS FULGURIENS!" Negi yelled, launching the full might of his strongest attack spell at the towering behemoth, wind and thunder combining in a murderous tempest that would, surely, send it back to whence it came.

Thus it was quite the come down when Sukuna took it head on without flinching, the spell teetering out, leaving the giant unharmed and apparently unfazed, as if he'd merely experienced a spring breeze.

"…We're gonna die aren't we?" Chamo whimpered, fighting the urge to flee and piss himself as he gazed up at the monstrosity, Chigusa mocking laughter raining down on them from on high, accompanied by the shattering of the restraints holding the youth he'd been mocking only seconds earlier.

"You fought well…Negi-kun." The youth offered, as if that made all the difference in the world to the distraught eleven year old before him "However, I'm afraid it just wasn't enough at your current level."

'Crap in a hat with sprinkles what are we gonna do?!' Chamo thought, his mind racing out of sheer terror as the horror advanced on them like some shotacon harbinger of death 'There's no way in hell he's forgotten that ribbing I gave him earlier…' his heart rate accelerated to mach-5 as he caught the glare the youth sent his way 'HE DEFINITELY HASN'T FORGOTEEN!' he squealed, only to blink in realization 'Of course! The pactio-functions!'

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"We gotta get over there!" Asuna yelled, fighting through the stragglers that remained of the demons Chigusa had summoned "Negi needs our help!"

"A little busy here!" Setsuna called out, locked in a battle to the death with Tsukuyomi, who just wouldn't stop that annoying giggling no matter how hard she fought back.

"Ooh Sempai I like it rough!" the bespectacled psychopath teased, earning a disgusted glare from Setsuna as she warded her off with a point blank Hyakaretsu-Oukazan "Ara! So pretty!"

"Dammit woman I keep telling you I don't have time for this!" Hiei yelled, trying to leap towards the light, only for Tsuruko to keep getting in his way, lashing out at him with ki-techniques that kept driving him back.

"Kukukuku…" the shihan chuckled, her eyes glowing golden as she brought the full brunt of her power, long denied by her retirement, to the fore, putting a large rent in the demon's cloak as they fought "Hiei-san, don't you know it's impolite to cut and run?"

"I'll show you impolite you deranged wench!" the red-eyed Koorime snarled, his hair-trigger temper finally snapping as he ripped the damaged cloak from his frame, revealing his toned physique to all before blurring out of sight, reappearing inside Tsuruko's guard and lashing out with his fists "ENSATSU: RENGOKU-SHOU!"

"Tsuruko-shishou!" Setsuna yelled out, eyeing the flaming form of her master in horror, only to blink in confusion as the form fell into the lake, the flames dispersing to reveal a badly pummeled member of the bird tribe.

"Kawarimi?" Hiei muttered, eyeing the smoking remains of his impromptu punching bag, before shooting a calculative glare towards a smiling Tsuruko, who stood not ten feet away "I thought you were a samurai, woman."

"Simply because I dress this way and carry a sword does not mean I am a samurai." Tsuruko countered "The Shinmeiryuu has gathered warriors of from all forms of fighting throughout Japan, the fact that Kenjutsu majors heavily in our repertoire is merely a coincidence."

"So it would seem." Hiei noted, drawing his own sword again with a smirk "And here I thought I'd be bored…"

And with that, the titans clashed once again.

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"Ooh! Him strong Aru!" Ku Fei noted admirably, literally chomping at the bit at the idea of fighting the red-eyed swordsman as she mopped up the last of the stragglers.

"Down Fei." Mana warned, shooting the girl a warning look as she popped caps in several demonic heinies "Unless you want to visit the afterlife early."

"Not stupid Aru." Baka Yellow countered, pouting slightly "Getting involved in master fight is stupid, wait till she finished before making challenge."

"If there's anything left to challenge." Mana muttered, a little part of her hoping the short little prick was made a head shorter; that had been her favorite air rifle he'd destroyed, and she was feeling a little testy about it, though she had to admit, the little guy definitely lived up to his reputation.

You didn't do Mana's kind of work without picking up a few contacts here and there, and any mercenary with their fingers in the paranormal aspects of the world knew something of the Dark Tournament, more specifically why it deserved the capitals. Many a merc had been 'invited' to matches as 'guests' in the past, all talented men and women known for having a knack of coming out of anything relatively unscathed. Too few made it back in one piece, and even less had done so alive.

In fact, in the entire history of the DT, there had only been two instances that the guest teams had won. The first had been the infamous 'Beasts', a five-man team consisting of the now famed psychic Genkai, and the duo that would later be known throughout the criminal underworld as the Toguro brothers. The remaining two members had opted to keep their names hidden, but Mana had a sneaking suspicion about at least one of them.

Asuna was about to leap into the fray with Setsuna when Chamo's distressed voice called out to them, their eyes widening and, in Setsuna's case, leaving an opening that Tsukuyomi was all to happy to take advantage off.

'Damn! This had best be good Chamo-san!' Setsuna groused, wincing at the narrow cut up her flank and delivering a strike of her own to ward the bespectacled blonde off 'I'm a little busy here!'

'Setsuna-san! Ane-san!' the ermine's ghostly voice called out, sounding hysterical 'Aniki needs your-!'

There was an audible squeaking noise, akin to someone stepping on a plushy, and then the mental contact was gone as quickly as it came, leaving a pit of dread in both girls' stomachs.

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"Did you really think I wouldn't know about the summoning aspects of Pactio?" the albino youth muttered, one foot holding Chamo down whilst he held a battered looking Negi up by the front of his shirt "You're a wily little rat I'll give you that…but the time for games is long since past."

Negi coughed, trying to muster the sparse remnants of magic available to him, but was finding it hard to do so with his windpipe being choked off. It was like the youth's hand was an iron vice; there was certainly something cold and clammy to his touch, as if he was devoid of life. 'Have to concentrate…' the Welshman gasped, closing his eyes to focus all his attention on the task at hand 'Gather…all my remaining magic…in my hand…'

"Now…how to deal with you…" the youth muttered, grinding his foot into Chamo's back, earning a squeal of pain from the ermine "I must admit I'm not one for animal torture…" his gaze drilled into Chamo like a mercury bullet "But in your case…"

"Contract active for half a second…" Negi whispered, the youth's eyes widening even as a fist packed with the sum total of the Welshman's remaining power rammed into his cheek "NEGI SPRINGFIELDES!"

The force of the impact caught the youth off guard, he had thought that Negi was completely tapped out, that even if he'd mustered enough magical energy it wouldn't have been enough to power the most basic spell. He had never anticipated that the youth, who was notorious for his book learning, would do something as innovative as using the pactio enhancement on himself, something only the most experienced combat mages did.

"Aniki!" Chamo yelled, slipping out from under his tormentor and rushing to Negi, who had stumbled out of the youth's clutches when the blow had collided "C'mon! We gotta get out of here before-!"

"No-one…" the youth mumbled, his voice trembling with something akin to rage "No-one has EVER struck me before…" his head snapped round, eyes positively glowing with emotion despite the neutrality of his features, his fist reared back and crackling with magic "NEGI SPRINGFIELD!"

The youth's retaliatory strike caught Negi in the stomach, forcing all the air out of his lungs and sending the poor pre-teen crashing into the small podium where Konoka had lain not moments before, something inside his screaming at the contact with the unforgiving wood.

"That sounded like your left arm…" the youth noted offhandedly, wiping a smudge of blood from his lip, Negi's gasps of pain drowned in the noise of Sukuna powering up, waves crashing against the pagoda "What say I give you a matching set?"

Negi gasped, looking up through the haze of pain at the youth as he began chanting in what sounded like Latin, the Welshman's eyes widening as he recognized the high level petrifaction spell from his time in the libraries at the academy. But there was little the youth could do but lay there and watch as the youth continued to cast, Chamo's selfless attempt at interrupting the spell thwarted as the youth backhanded him without looking away from his prey.

And then something was looming behind the youth, a shadow whose appearance was so sudden, so unexpected, that for a moment Negi wondered if he was hallucinating. That ended the minute a hand lashed out, grabbing the youth by the neck and smashing him, face first, into one of the stone lanterns that decorated the wooden walkway, cutting off his incantation. 'Who…?' Negi wondered, his eyes already swimming in and out of focus as he felt a strong pair of arms pick him up, wrapping him in warm cloth as it went.

"Rest now…" a voice ordered, so strong and kind Negi felt his aching body relax just hearing it "I'll finish this…"

"Father?" Negi whispered, only for darkness to claim him in it's blissful embrace.

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"This is becoming more annoying by the moment." The albino youth muttered sullenly, his face calm despite the irritation blazing behind his half-shut eyes, blood trailing from his hair to his chin from his forced meeting with the masonry "But then that's what I get for letting my guard down." He turned, eyeing the figure before him with equal parts disdain and approval "Ah…I had wondered where you'd disappeared to…had fun with the Shinmeiryuu did you…Kuwabara Kazuma?"

Kuwabara, for indeed it was he, stood up from where he'd left Negi, resting in the folds of what remained of his uwagi, leaving him bare-chested, the tattered remains of his hakama and the scars and scratches adorning his body giving testament of his time at the dojo.

"Still…" the youth muttered, getting to his feet and dusting himself off as he watched the silent tantei with a hint of wariness in those normally detached eyes "rather un-chivalrous of you, ambushing a child from behind."

"I have a history with brats outshinin' me 'cause I let my guard down around 'em." Kuwabara shot back, his tone level and decidedly cold, his game-face at full force and the hilt of his Tameshi no ken held in place at his waist by the bindings of his hakama "One I don't intend ta repeat."

"So you say…" the youth noted, wiping a last drop of blood from the corner of his lip and running his fingers through his hair, "and I'll admit, facing one of the so-called 'guardians of the human world' sounds a little tempting…" he eyed the tantei coldly "But I already know all about your skills…" he sniffed "or lack thereof, and quite frankly, I'm unimpressed with a half dead man with no discipline or proper training."

A flash of light lashed out, the youth's eyes widening as he leapt aside, though not quite fast enough to avoid a slice to his flank that caused blood to spurt. 'Fast!' he noted, eyes wide in alarm for the first time as he flipped onto the walkway, one hand pressed to his side as he eyed the man before him warily.

"That what they're sayin 'bout me now?" Kuwabara asked, a smirk on his face as he stood up, revealing the hilt of his Tameshi no ken in his hand, a glowing, solid looking Katana of reiki blossoming from the hilt, rather than his former, crude rendition of a light saber. The blade was at least ten feet long, and as the wound in the youth's side was testament to, VERY sharp.

"Then I think it's time you updated that little dossier of mine." The tantei chuckled, moving so that he was pointing the blade of reiki at the youth, his eyes deadly serious "'Cause I ain't th' same man I was then."

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"What the devil is going on down there?" Chigusa muttered, trying to get a glimpse of the proceedings, but the mist kicked up by the scuffle between her companion and the son of the thousand master persisted. "That newcomer better be pulling his wait for the price I dished out." She muttered, squinting into the mist, idly wondering if she should just use Sukuna to squash the pests and be done with it, it wasn't like she cared if the spawn of the hated Thousand Master was turned into pancake.

A flash of light lashed out of the mist, Sukuna howling in rage as one of it's arms was severed at the shoulder, crashing into the lake and sending waves crashing against the shore. "WHAT THE HELL?!" Chigusa yelped, holding on for dear life as the titan tossed it's head like a raging bull "What could've done that?!"

At that moment, her back-up, the little pale teen, landed on the head of Sukuna, looking a little ragged, a stark contrast to his usual calm exterior. "What the hell is going on down there?!" Chigusa demanded of the teen, only to blanch as she espied his right arm…or what was left of it.

"I…underestimated him…" the youth muttered, eyeing the fog beneath them with an evaluative expression in his normally cold eyes, like a cat that had just had it's paw bitten by a mouse. His right arm, or rather the stump of it, stinging from the contact with the man's blade, though no blood flowed from the wound.

"What on earth…" Chigusa began, only to scream as something, or rather someone, landed between them with two glowing swords of reiki, spinning like a top to drive them apart, before lunging towards her, eyes locked onto Konoka's slumbering frame. "DAMMIT! Don't underestimate me!" the talisman user cried, summoning her bear and monkey golems, only to pale as Kuwabara tore right through them, his eyes cold as he lunged straight past her destroyed protectors, his reiken, so much more deadly looking than before, aimed right at Chigusa's throat.

The talisman user shut her eyes, holding her hands before her in a feeble attempt to ward off her oncoming death…only to crack them open seconds later when the point of the blade never came, blinking in confusion, only to realize just how easily she'd been duped. "Dammit!" she snarled, whirling round to see Kuwabara falling back to the stage, a half-roused Konoka stirring in his arms as the enchantments keeping her asleep, and under Chigusa's control, were destroyed "This isn't over!" she swore, brining her talismans to bear "I still control the powers of Sukuna! I'll blast you off the face of the earth!"

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"Mm…wha?" Konoka wondered, blinking the sleep from her eyes as she looked around in confusion, still a little drowsy from the long sleep "Where am I? I was dreaming about monkeys and Set-chan…"

"You okay there, Konoka-san?" a familiar voice called out, prompting the granddaughter of the dean to gaze up into the concerned features of her science professor as he held her secure in his arms.

"Kuwabara…sensei…?" she wondered, blinking in confusion at the sight of the tall, friendly professor, wondering why on earth he was shirtless…until a sudden breeze caused her to shiver "Wait…why am I…" she wondered, only to flush crimson and cover her face "KYAAH! Don't look at me!"

"S-sorry!" Kuwabara stammered, landing awkwardly and readjusting the cloth that Chigusa had wrapped the girl in out of a twisted form of respect for her nudity "I didn't see anything! I swear!"

"It…it's not that…" Konoka stammered, a hint of embarrassment in her tone as she buried her face in her hands "It's just…during the spell…" her blush deepened "I…kinda liked it…"

Kuwabara cocked an eyebrow in confusion, which prompted another embarrassed squeal from the girl as she shook her head, hands on her cheeks 'Well, least she's back ta normal…' he noted in wry amusement, setting the girl down next to Negi, where she promptly turned her attention to the injured mage 'That said…what in th' hell'm I gonna do about THAT?'

Behind them, Sukuna roared defiance at them man, it's great, multi-faced horned head turning to regard him with eyes that were devoid of anything other than bestial intelligence…and anger.

'Guess he didn't like having an arm cut off.' Kuwabara noted, smirking at the monster, feeling oddly calm despite himself 'Man…back in th' day I'd have been pissing myself about now.' He snorted, recalling those long gone days with wry amusement 'Hiei and Urameshi'd run in headfirst whilst Kurama and I held back, jumping in if they needed back-up…or at least I did.'

He frowned, clenching his fist as he stepped in front of the two youths behind him, his palm glowing with golden reiki as he glared up at the monstrosity that threatened them. 'Not this time though.' He growled, pumping more and more reiki into his palm 'This time, I gotta put this guy down by myself.'

"Sensei?" Konoka called out, her eyes widening in amazement as the shirtless man's hand began to glow golden, small arcs of what looked like electricity rising off it. They widened further as a glowing, double edge blade formed in his hands, looking like one of those medieval, triangular tipped broadsword than a katana.

"Konoka…" Kuwabara muttered, not looking at the girl as he held the weapon to the side, both hands wrapped around the hilt in a standard batters pitch "Keep your head down."

That was all the warning the girl got before Sukuna, who'd been powering up during the entire time, let loose a powerful blast of youki from it's mouth, the beam heading right towards them, bathing the area in a white, alien light.

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Cue the nadesico music!

OH NOES! SUKUNA IS FIRIN HIS LAYZAR!

Sukuna: BWAAAAGH!!!

Can Kuwabara hope to defeat this horror?

Sukuna: BWAAAAGH!!!

And will Konoka ever get a pair of pants?

Konoka: KYAAA! Setchan!

Setsuna: O-OJOUSAMA?!?!

Next time on Reikai Sensei kuwabara: Clash! My Weapon is greater than yours!

Sukuna: ... ... ... BWAAAAGH!!!

R&R Or no update for you!

* * *


	28. Chapter 28

Last time we saw Kuwabara he was facing off against Sukuna's Layzar with nothing but a sword.

Admittedly a word that can slice through dimensions, but a sword nonetheless?

Will he survive the onslaught? And will I ever stop asking rhetorical questions?

Probably not the latter, but let's find out shall we?

_Heaven or Hell?_

_LET'S RAWK!_

* * *

28th period.

"Woo! Check that out!" the boss oni noted, covering his eyes as he looked towards the sudden burst of light in the distance, whistling in appreciation at the sheer destructive force on display "Look's like the big guy's getting serious!"

"Setsuna!" Mana called out, firing both barrels of her desert eagles at the enemy without missing a shot. The Swordswoman nodded, breaking off from her battle with Tsukuyomi and making a dash towards the lake, the demented lolita unable to follow her because of Mana's interference "Sorry miss, but Sakurazaki's a little too busy to play with you any more." She smirked, the slides of her guns relocking s she reloaded "Care to dance with ME instead?"

"You can't fight the Shinmeiryuu with guns you know…" Tsukuyomi pointed out, looking a little flustered to be honest, sending longing looks towards Setsuna's retreating back. While she'd admit Mana was delicious looking, she just wasn't into foreign foods...too much breast meat.

"Care to back up that claim?" Mana asked, her tone dark and her golden eyes shining in the shadows as she advanced on the lolita like a panther. One armed with customized Desert Eagle airguns and god only knew what else.

"I join in too Aru!" Ku Fei called out, taking up position behind the Shinmeiryuu outcast, Tsukuyomi sighing as she realized these interlopers just weren't going to leave h and Setsuna in peace, even as Tsuruko and Hiei flew by overhead.

"You're good woman!" the master of the Jagan applauded, actually sounding like he was enjoying himself in his own, twisted way, but then he hadn't had a challenge in some time since the cease fire "Far too good to be a simple Human!"

"You're not so bad yourself, Hiei-san." Tsuruko replied, blades clashing between them like steel rain, her eyes like slivers of molten gold in the darkness "Far too good for a mere Youkai."

Asuna, who to be honest was beginning to feel a little left out, nonetheless took advantage of everyone's attentions being divided to sneak off after Setsuna, wanting to give the kendo-ka as much support as possible.

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"Hmm…this could get bad de gozaru…" Kaede noted, a frown marring her normally calm features, thekoga beauty actually cracking an eye open as she watched the hulking form of Sukuna power up it's attack.

"Holy Shit!" Kotaro yelped, the hanyou's eyes widening in shock as he tried to comprehend the sight playing out before him, only managing to stave off whimpering from the oppressive feeling of the giant's youki through mental effort "What in the hell was Chigusa thinking, waking something like that up?!"

"You didn't know?" Kaede asked, looking down at the half-breed in confusion. She'd admit the boy's skills were pretty good for his age, almost reminded her of herself at that age if she was honest, but it didn't change the fact he was an enemy. This could all be a ploy for him to make a break for it...or stab them in the back.

"Are you kidding?!" Kotaro exclaimed, pointing at the giant demon-god like the kunoichi was blind "That thing ain't the sort of thing that should be here! If I'd of known Chigusa was gonna pull something like that out of her hat, I'd have told her to piss off when she tried to recruit me!"

"What is it exactly?" Yue asked, a little dazed if she was honest with herself, but trying to make sense of the situation as best she could without ripping her hair out. So far she wasn't making much headway.

"Damned if I know." Kotaro admitted, something about the look the bluenette levelled at him rubbing him the wrong way "But it's strong, REALLY strong...TOO strong if you want my opinion." He shuddered, ears pressed so low on his head they were hidden beneath his hair "Something that strong's got no place here in Ningenkai."

"And Negi-bozu's caught in the middle…" Kaede noted in concern, drawing startled looks from the other two, before stepping forward, making her way towards the lake "I think we should go help, De gozaru-yo."

'Not that I'd do any good…' Yue noted, a little embarrassed as Kaede ordered Kotaro to carry the shorter girl on his back 'He smells like the class-rep's shampoo…'

The girl's thoughts turned to panic as the...whatever the hell it was, opened it's mouth and fired a collossal beam of energy at the giant, wooden stage they could see on the lake.

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"Helluva pitch ya got there big guy…" Kuwabara grit out, clenching his teeth as he watched the beam of death rocket towards them from Sukuna's mouth, squaring his feet and tightening his grip on his weapon as he did so "Lessee if it's got any pepper to it!"

With a yell that started in his stomach, tearing past his lips as a guttural snarl, the orange haired tantei swung his weapon, the legendary Jigen Tou, bane of dimensions and the only weapon in the history of all three words that could cut through the Kekkai barrier before it was dropped, catching Sukuna's blast full on, causing a mammoth explosion that knocked Konoka to the floor behind him.

'STRONG!' the tantei grunted, teeth clenched tight and veins bulging in his neck as he fought to keep his footing under the assault, which didn't seem to be easing off any time soon 'Holy shit…is this the kinda guys Urameshi's tussling with nowadays!?' he wondered, marvelling at how far his old street-fighting rival had gone once more. Still the assault continued, Sukuna's beam slowly pushing the tantei back, no matter how hard he dug his feet into the wooden floor of the stage.

'Dammit!' he swore, gritting his teeth so hard he felt one or two crack under the pressure, his knees slowly starting to buckle as he kept pumping reiki into his arms to not only maintain the Jigen Tou but keep the limbs themselves from shattering under the strain 'I'm loosin' my footing!' he realised, cursing as he felt himself begin to slide back, leaning in further with a grunt 'Gotta…hold…on!'

"Kuwabara-sensei!" Konoka cried out from behind, Kuwabara turning his head to see the dean's grand-daughter with her arms wrapped protectively around a comatose Negi, her eyes wide with fear and concern as she watched him get pushed back towards them, the wind from the attack, blowing her hair out behind her.

Something snapped inside the tantei, his eyes flashing golden with Reiki as he turned back to face the maelstrom head-on, wafts of energy rising off him as he dug his foot into the stage and stood firm, pushing back against the tide with a dangerous glint in his eyes that had only been worn on one other Tantei to date, a look that Kuwabara had seen levelled at every two-bit thug and wannabe demon conquerer that pissed said Tantei off.

"Don't…" he growled, his muscles bulging as he pumped more and more of his reiki into them, and into the now glowing Jigen Tou, which was letting off small bursts of static as it edged forwards, fighting against the currenyt "Fuck…with…ME!!!!"

And with a flash of golden reiki, Kuwabara's Jigen Tou sliced right through Sukuna's beam, the waves of youki dissipating back towards the source, even as a golden line spread diagonally from one side of the valley to the other.

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'That Reiki!' Hiei swore, his Jagan flashing in alarm as he spun round, heedless of Tsuruko's blade, though the woman had paused in her assault as well, looking off towards the lake in surprise 'What's that buffoon doing here?!'

"It would seem Kuwabara-san made it in time." Tsuruko noted with approval, her tone filled with good humor as she turned back towards the suspiciously scowling Hiei "Ara? You seem distracted, Hiei-san."

"Where did you learn that name?" the three eyed koorime demanded, his crimson stare locking onto Tsuruko's own bemused eyes, "And WHERE did he get that power?"he demanded, tilting his head towards the lake for emphasis

"Ara? Are you a friend of Kuwabara-san's?" the demon sword of Kyoto queried genially, only to lift her uwagi sleeve to her lips as she chuckled, running a knowing eye over his lithe, if shorter than average frame "Ah! Perchance you're the 'kuso-chibi' he keeps reffering to?"

'That fool shall die SLOW.' Hiei vowed with a dark growl, turning his eyes from the chuckling woman to glare at the mountain range he'd felt Kuwabara's reiki come from, only to quirk an eyebrow as his Jagan showed him something…interesting. 'Hn...well I'll be...looks like he's improved.'

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Silence reigned for several precious seconds in the wake of Kuwabara's counter-attack, the very air seeming to hold it's breath as both parties looked the other down. Demon God and treacherous onmyou sorcerers locking glares with Reikai Tantei and stunned heiress to the Elder. And then reality caught up with those around it as Sukuna let out a howl that echoed all around the small valley, a giant, glowing scar forming diagonally across the giant's body as it's upper torso slid towards the water, the rest of the body still firmly upright.

The Scar extended beyond the body however, and even as the stunned onlookers watched, a large, jagged rent opened up in the valley wall, stretching from one mountain ridge to the bottom of another. Inside the rent a golden light shone, as if drawing in the air from around it, part of Sukuna's torso actually getting swallowed up in it before it slowly started to close, leaving only the mountains as unmarked as ever.

"Heh…Home run…" Kuwabara chuckled, smirking as Sukuna's upper torso, what was left of it, crashed into the lake, the Giant oni's face bearing a 'WTF?!' expression that would've layed the tantei, and a few of his friends and associates, out on his back with laughter, were he not feeling so drained. He hadn't used the Jigen Tou since the incident with the terrorists in Reikai, finding that his regular Reiken generally got the job done just as well. As such, even after the training he'd gone through, the move still took a lot out of him, though it no longer took so long to start up.

'Still need to work with it though…' he muttered, letting the golden blade fade out of existence once more as he dropped to his knee, winded 'If I'm gonna be going up against things like THAT from now on' he shot Sukuna's sinking torso a glare 'I'm gonna need every weapon I've got.'

"Kuwabara-sensei!" Konoka called out, the tantei turning his attention to the dean's granddaughter to find her looking distraught as she cradled Negi's limp frame close to her despite her near nudity "Negi-kun's not breathing right!"

Kuwabara let out a curse, rising shakily to his feet on and hobbling over to the group, his knees trembling like they were made of jello, only to shiver as he felt a cold presence rise up behind him, smashing his hand back just in time to deflect a blow to his spine from the white haired youth. "You still hangin' around?" the tantei growled, a little annoyed with the brat's persistence, especially since he wasn't firing on all cylinders at the moment "Figured you'd cut and run without that monster backing you up."

"Sukuna's defeat was…inevitable." The youth muttered, his face as devoid of emotion as ever, made all the worse by the loss of his right arm "Chigusa would've lost control eventually, and then she'd have been at the mercy of the Kansai reinforcements." He frowned at the man that injured him "But before I left, I felt it…prudent, to remove an potential threat from the stage."

"Flattery'll get ya nowhere…" Kuwabara growled, cracking his fingers audibly as he moved into a fighting stance, his aura slowly covering his body in a light golden glow "Just don't think I'll make it easy for ya." He smirked flicking his eyes towards the youth's stump "You want me ta make your arms a matchin' set, stumpy?"

"Hardly…" the youth assured him, his palm glowing as he charged up a spell of some sort, Kuwabara's smirk widening as he noticed the telltale twitch at the corner of the boy's eye. The kid was good, but Kuwabara and Yusuke had practice ribbing Hiei "But then again…who said I was talking about YOU?"

Kuwabara blinked, only for his eyes to widen in realization as the youth spun, aiming his good hand at the defenseless forms of Negi and Konoka, unleashing a blast of magical energy that petrified the wooden floor beneath it as it screeched towards them. With a curse that would've earned him a smack upside the head from Shizuru, the exhausted Tenatei shoved past the youth, driving his elbow into the kid's nose as he passed, before hauling ass down the patio, his eyes widening as he realized he wasn't going to make it in time, before gritting his teeth as he stamped his foot down, his eyes focusing on the point just ahead of his charges as he felt a rush wash over him.

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Konoka saw the blast of magical energy as it careened towards them, her eyes widening in alarm as she hugged the gasping Negi to her chest, closing her eyes even as she felt the cold of the spell's approach touch her skin, wondering if she would feel anything at all afterwards.

But rather than becoming an interesting addition to anyone's rock garden, the girl looked up as the light she could see behind her eyelids dimmed, as something appeared in the path of the blast, the resulting impact earning a scream from the girl as her hair was blasted back, clutching Negi to her for dear life as wind and dirt and water lashed around them, still clinging tightly to the welsh magi even as the sounds of the impact died down.

Cracking an eyelid open, blinking the dazzling lights out of her sight, the dean's granddaughter looked up in surprise, a smile forming on her face at the sight of a familiar figure dressed in torn Hakama pants standing with his back to them, his hands clenched at his sides.

"Kuwabara-sensei!" she cheered, looking up at the man with relief as the dust cleared "You saved-!" Her joy died away, replaced with shock as she caught sight of her sensei's left leg, hands clapping to her mouth in horror.

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"Heh…not bad there runt…" Kuwabara grunted, flinching as the feeling in his left leg died away inch by agonizing inch. The limb, and the hakama covering it, having taken a direct hit from the spell, had already turned to stone from the knee downwards, and was slowly spreading upwards "You tagged me…"

"You're not so bad yourself…Kuwabara-san." The youth admitted, having healed his nose with a minor healing spell, though there was still blood on his face "Pulling off a high-speed move like that…was that shundo?" he shook his head dismissively "Never mind, it's not really my business." He eyed the crippled man coldly "Now I have you all right where I want you."

"Come a little closer and say that why don't'cha?" Kuwabara dared, a smirk on his face that didn't match his thoughts as he fought down the urge to flinch from the pain. 'Damn…feels like my leg's about ta snap off…' he cursed, glaring at the youth as he walked towards them 'Negi's down and Konoka's no fighter…' his teeth clenched as he found his leg wasn't responding at all 'and I'm shit useless 'cept as a paperweight with my leg like this!'

"I must applaud your courage…" the youth noted as he advanced, though his features were as impassive as always "Not many people would willingly step in front of a petrifaction spell of that caliber." His eyes grew cold as he summoned another sphere of energy "but it ends here."

He lunged forwards, his fist filled with magical energy as he bore down on the group, Kuwabara scowling and spreading his arms wide, trying to shield the ones behind him as best he could from the assault, only for the youth to lunge straight towards the tantei, grabbing the startled man around the throat.

"I am normally not so petty…" the youth admitted, even as Kuwabara felt his neck muscles begin to freeze, his eyes widening as it got harder to breath "But then, you DID cut off my arm…do you know how long that takes to grow back?" he sighed, his eyes regaining their cold glint as he watched Kuwabara's eyes widen as his breath stopped "Die choking on your own failures…eh?"

The Youth' eyes widened as Kuwabara grabbed him by the throat, the strength in man's hand stunning him long enough that he didn't see the OTHER hand coming until he felt the palm press against his stomach, burning with all the remaining reiki in the tantei's body.

"REI SHURIKEN!"

The youth bucked, eyes widening and mouth opening silently as several thousand miniature daggers of Reiki launched themselves from Kuwabara's palm, tearing through his stomach and exiting out his back like a shotgun blast. The difference between this and Yusuke's trademark technique however, was that rather than detonating on impact, the blades ripped the opponent to countless shreds.

It had been used to great success against Toguro's older brother at the dark tournament, ripping the virtually immortal demon into bite-size chunks that seemed to take longer for him to recover from. That had been from long range, as Kuwabara had needed to cover a wide area to ensure he did the most damage. THIS time it was up close, and all those concentrated blades of reiki promptly turned the youth's stomach area into pulp.

Kuwabara kept up the assault as long as he could, pouring as much Reiki and Reikan into the blades to ensure they did as much damage going in and out as possible, only to lose his grip on the youth as his hands lost their strength, watching the limp body go sailing back to crash into the lake, the last of the shards disappearing into the night sky. "Failure my ass…" the tantei muttered, his voice a mere whisper as he felt his throat close up, falling backwards with a slight grunt even as Konoka called out his name.

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"Kuwabara-sensei!" the girl cried, looking between him and the battered form of Negi in desperate alarm, tears in her eyes as she tried to figure out what to do. All her life she had been protected by people, first her father, then by Set-chan, then her Grandfather and Asuna when the girl had moved to Mahora and became roommates with the redhead. Now Negi-kun was beaten to a pulp and Kuwabara-sensei, who had always been able to make her laugh, was lying unresponsive on the wooden floor of the stage from injuries recieved trying to rescue her.

"What do I do?" she wondered aloud, her voice shaking as she looked between the two in growing alarm "What do I do?!" she repeated, gripping her head between her hands, eyes clenched together as she fought back the urge to cry 'Papa…oji-chan…Set-chan!'

"Ojou-sama!" A familiar voice called out, Konoka looking up, her eyes widening in awe as Sakurazaki Setsuna descended from on high, her eyes wide with concern and a pair of white, angelic wings bursting from the back of her school blouse "Are you alright?!" the winged vision demanded, landing before the girl and gripping her shoulders with both hands "Did they hurt you? Ojou-sama!"

"Set-chan…" Konoka breathed, looking at the wings on her childhood friends back in awe, running her fingers against them as if in a daze. Setsuna, realizing that in her haste to reach the girl's side she'd inadvertently revealed her secret, blushed slightly before turning her head away in shame.

"I…I didn't mean…to hide them from you…" the kendo-ka insisted, looking absolutely shamefaced at being caught out "But…there was never a good time…and it would only have…" She trailed off as Konoka embraced her around the neck. looking round to find tear stained cheeks and a beaming smile looking back at her.

"You're really here! Set-chan!" the dean's granddaughter cheered, tears of relief filling her eyes as she hugged her childhood friend close, much to the startled Kendo-ka's embarassment, and private pleasure "You really came!"

"OI! Konoka!" another voice called out, the two friends looking up in time to see Asuna, red in the face from running so hard, standing there catching her breath "Damn it Setsuna-san!" she chided the pony-tailed kendo-ka "You could've told me you could fly!"

"Asuna…san?" Setsuna stammered, her eyes wide in confusion, even as the rest of the group caught up them, eyes widening as she espied Ku Fei, Mana and Kaede among them, along with a solemn faced Yue and what looked to be the Inu-Hanyou that had waylaid Negi-sensei at the temple "All of you!"

"Hey, where'd the big guy go?" Kotaro demanded, looking around the lake in confusion, spying Negi's battered form and stepping forwards out of concern, only to gape as he saw the dissolving remains of Sukuna's lower body "Holy…who did that!"

Konoka merely looked towards the still form of Kuwabara-sensei, her urgency returning as she turned to Setsuna in desperation "Set-chan! Kuwabara-sensei got hit by something by that boy from the temple!"

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Setsuna cursed and turned her attention to the downed Tantei, her features turning grim as she noted the areas of petrifaction. "Not good…" She muttered, shaking her head "His throat's already halfway frozen…at this rate he has less than five minutes before he runs out of air and his heart stops."

"Isn't there anything you can do, Mana?" Kaede asked, turning to the resident priestess in concern, only for the dark skinned gunslinger to shake her head, an almost apologetic expression in those goldern eyes.

"Exorcisms are one thing, but petrifaction spells are a little out of my league." The sniper admitted, looking down at Kuwabara's unconscious form with a hint of concern. It alway hurt to lose a comrade, even an unexcected one, on the battlefield. Plus unlike most of the staff at Mahora, whom Mana already knew virtually everything about through her network, Kuwabara was an enigma that she just couldn't seem to ignore. She hadn't tried this hard to learn someone's identity since she'd noticed she was sharing classes with Dark Evangel herself.

"Dammit…if only we had a healer with us!" Asuna fretted, kneeling next to Negi, his head resting in her lap as she tried to rouse him from his forced slumber "Every RPG has a healer somewhere on the team right?!"

"This isn't an RPG tho…" Yue pointed out with a deadpan expression, standing off to the side and looking over the scene with interest. 'Though I have to admit, for real life this scene is cutting it rather close to one...the drama's certainly like something from one of Haruna's disks."

"Hey! What about Ojou-sama's power?" Kotaro suggested suddenly, drawing looks from the others, Setsuna reaching for her sword with a suspicious scowl "Chigusa told me you healed the sword-girls shoulder back at movie village right?" the Inugami pointed out to avoid suspicion "Couldn't you do the same now?"

"That time was reflex." Setsuna corrected the boy, deciding to give him the benfit of the doubt for now. If nothing else Kaede deemed it unneccesary to bind him "Ojou-sama has had no training in the use of her power…and we don't know if she can access it at will."

"Ah but you're wrong there." A wily voice pointed out, everyone blinking in shock at the sight of Chamo perched on Negi's head, bandages around his midriff "There IS a way for Konoka-chan to draw out her power…"

"I don't like the look in your eye, vermin Ermine…" Asuna muttered, already guessing what the rodent was getting at, having been down that road herself. But then anyone with experience in the ermine's perverse antics could tell just by the leer on his face.

"The Pactio of course!" Chamo cheered, startling a few of the girls, except Konoka, who merely blinked in confusion, Mana, who cocked an eyebrow, and Kaede, who chuckled knowingly "We use the link with aniki to unlock Konoka-chan's power and she does the rest!"

"I dunno…" Asuna muttered, suspecting the rodent of ulterior motives, hell he made a profit for every pactio card he was involved with crafting, but Konoka put those thoughts to rest by stepping forward, the cloth held around her for the sake of decency.

"I…I'll do it!" she stammered, shocking everyone with the determination in her voice, her fingers tightening around the cloth "I want to help…" she insisted, looking around at the assembled group "Everyone worked so hard to help me…this is the least I can do to pay them back!"

"Ojou-sama…" Setsuna breathed, looking at the girl in shock, Mana and Kaede sending her approving looks, even as Chamo danced around his aniki and the girl, drawing the Pactio circle with a chalk he pulled out of god knows where and initiating the ritual, bathing them all in a soft, purple light.

The girls froze suddenly, a sense of premonition settling over them as they turned, far to slow, just as a familiar figure with white hair lunged out of the water, a spear of stone aimed right at the prone form of Negi, far too fast for them to even begin to react in time.

But before the enemy had a chance to launch the projectile, he was intercepted by a black blur, leaping back back to avoid a flash of steel, holding his still healing stomach as he glared at the new arrivals that had interposed themselves between him and his targets.

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"Hoh…?" Hiei noted, an amused look on his face as he sized the youth before him up "what have we here then?" the master of the Jagan asked, an intrigued smirk stretching across his face as he spoke, Tsuruko standing at his side, both their swords at the ready "Not human and not Youkai…just what are you supposed to be?"

The youth scowled, glaring between the two swordsmen in distaste, shooting the recumbent forms of Negi and Kuwabara a cold stare, before stepping back into the water and fading away without a word. "Feh…coward." Hiei grunted, sheathing his sword and looking back at the group in annoyance "What a mess…" he muttered with a hint of disgust "someone's going to get their spine ripped out for this."

Konoka shivered at the short man's voice, frozen from the coldness in his eyes and the anger in his words. She'd never met someone that seemed so…cold before, though at the same time it was different from the coldness of the youth that had abducted her. This one was a cold that BURNED you, until there was nothing left but ash.

"Konoka-chan." A calm voice called out, Konoka turning her attention to the woman in the uwagi and hakama at the man's side, standing with her back to them, watching out just in case the youth tried for another sneak attack "Don't you think you should hurry?"

Konoka blinked, then gasped and promptly placed her lips to Negi's the pactio circle glowing with energy, much to Hiei's interest, as a card slowly came into existence above the girl.

"K-konoka-san?" Negi stammered, blinking drousily as the circle restored some of his spent magical energy, the beaming girl promptly hugging him close to her despite her nudity beneath the blanket, much to his mortification "K-KONOKA-SAN!" he gasped, the group watching on in amusement as he struggled futilely against the pantented Konoka glomp "Please! This isn't right!"

"Oi! Kuwabara-sensei's turning blue!" Asuna yelped drawing everyone's attention to her as she knelt next to the Tantei's prone form, her eyes terrified white circles. Konoka, letting out a startled gasp, dropped Negi to the floor like a bad habit, stunning him once again to Kotaro's shock and everyone's bemusement, and promptly got to her feet and dashing over to her friend, only to stumble as the edge of the sheet she was wearing got caught underfoot, crashing down on top of Kuwabara with a startled "MEEP!"

CHU-!

Everyone gaped, though Kaede and Mana recovered quickly and covered it up by chuckling in wry amusement, the ever unflappable Tsuruko holding her uwagi sleeve to her mouth in bemusement whilst Ku looked on in confusion, a finger held to her lips at the sight. Even Hiei, despite himself, felt a bead of sweat slide treacherously down his head at the sight before him, a slightly stunned expression on his face that matched with the one sported by Yue, though minus the kitty-pout. But best of all were Setsuna, Kotaro and Asuna's reactions, as their eyes had literally bulged out of their skulls as Konoka's fall caused her to land face first onto Kuwabara, her lips pressing against the recumbent Tantei's own, quite by accident, but nonetheless still inside the Pactio circle.

'This won't end well.' Was Chamo's only thought, even as a glowing Pactio card formed just above the perverted ermine's head for the second time that evening 'Oh well...PROFIT!' he reasoned, tuning out the world as several feminine squeals filled the air, instead performing the ermine equivalent of the happy-dance, waving the two cards around like victory fans, oddly reminiscent of a certain Saotome matriarch.

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Cue the Nadesico music

Narrator: At last, the evil demon and his mindless horde have fallen!

Random Oni: HEY! We resent that!

Narrator: The grateful princess bestows her thanks upon her champion!

Setsuna: (0*_*O) OJOU-SAMAAAAAAA-!

Narrator: But what's this? A dark shadow threatens to come between their love!

Hiei: Didn't I kill you already?

Asuna: HEY! What the hell do you mean by lovers there, pervert!

Narrator: Ganbare Kuwabara! Keep fighting for love!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: LOVE! My kingdom for a Harem!

Tsuruko: Ara-ara...sounds...kinky.

Konoka: Set-chan? What's a harem?

Setsuna: Ojou-samaaa........ToT

R&R for more Negima randomness!

* * *


	29. Chapter 29

Well now...It seem's ol' carrot-top has gotten himself into a bit of a sticky wicket wot?

Halibel: Stop pretending to be british...you're Irish.

Kyugan: Point! Gather round ye lads and lasses!

Halibel: *Watching him do the dancing Yusuke*...Children just say NO to Alcohol...

_Heaven or Hell?_

_LET'S RAWK!!!_

* * *

29th period.

"What on earth was THAT?" Hiei muttered, looking a little, make that HIGHLY disturbed, as he watched the girls, well, Asuna and Setsuna anyways, freak out over what had just transpired before him "What kind of power requires such…contact, to work?"

"That's the thing with Magic, Hiei-san…" Tsuruko chuckled, still lifting her uwagi sleeve to cover her mouth as she chuckled in mirth at Sakurazaki's fussing and Konoka's innocence "It has a few unpredictable sides to it."

"Feh…" Hiei muttered, looking down in interest, his Jagan glowing behind his replacement bandana as he watched the magical energy from the circle the rodent sprite had conjured up and Konoka flow into the slowly recovering form of Kuwabara.

'The idiot still has the devil's own luck.' He muttered, watching as the petrifaction slowly faded away, leaving only flesh and cloth where once there had been lifeless stone 'I suppose some things never change.'

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"YAY! I have a card!" Konoka cheered, giggling excitedly as she held the Pactio card she received from Negi to her face, rubbing her cheek against it "Wow! I look so cool! Like Daddy's shrine uniform!"

"O-OJOU-SAMA!" Setsuna flustered, her face beet red as she grabbed the giggling girl by the shoulder, trying to shake some sense into her childhood friend "Th-this isn't the time to be distracted! You-your first kiss-!"

"Eh?" Konoka blinked, looking absolutely adorable as she gazed at her childhood friend in confusion, almost making Setsuna pass out from the cuteness "But Set-chan, it was to save Negi-kun after all."

"Well…Yes I suppose…" the kendo-ka reasoned, looking a bit uncertain, only to shake her head, cold logic overridding her desire to glomp "But still! What about that…kiss…with Kuwabara-sensei?!"

"Oh that was an accident!" Konoka chuckled, rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment as she brushed the incident aside without a care in the world "I just tripped over the bed sheet, I didn't mean to land on Sensei like that."

"Regardless! You kissed a man Ojou-sama!" Setsuna insisted, looking quite distraught over the matter, "Negi-sensei should be alright because he's only a child but if your father catches wind of this the scandal alone…I mean…Kuwabara-sensei could be in BIG trouble."

"Tell me about it…" Asuna muttered, standing over the unconscious Tantei with a deadpan expression on her face, torn between berating her friend and beating the guy up, even if it wasn't his fault technically "The Dean'll have his head on a platter."

"Maybe not de gozaru…" Kaede countered, smiling down at Asuna as she stood guard over the two recovering sensei, Negi having been knocked out when Konoka dropped him on the floor like a ragdoll "After all, it was an accident de gozaru."

"Konoka too clumsy aru," Ku Fei agreed, standing with her hands on her hips, her eyes litte white circles as she spoke to the girl in question directly "Maybe teach kempo to improve balance."

"This is all your fault you know." Asuna added, glaring at Chamo, who was doing his 'Money Dance' in the corner, holding up copies of the Pactio cards without a care in the world "You and your profiteering..."

"Hey! I didn't expect this to happen either!" the pervin' ermine pointed out, though he didn't stop kissing the Pactio cards he'd helped create "Jou-chan got herself into that one." He leered, "And besides, the princess always kisses the brave warrior, right?"

"ERO-CHAMO!" Asuna roared, swatting the ermine with her Harisen repeatedly as she tore up and down the wooden walkway like something out of Smash Brothers, earning stares from the group and looks of pity from Kotaro.

"She certainly is a lively one." Tsuruko chuckled, startling Setsuna, who looked up at the former Shihan in awe, and a little bit of fear if she was honest with herself "It's been a while, Setsuna-chan…have you been well?"

"H-hai!" Setsuna bowed, one fist on the floor and one knee bent beneath her, startling the rest with the group with how readily she slipped into the pose "I'm sorry you had to get involved, Tsuruko-sama!"

"Oh please," Tsuruko giggled, smiling at the girl disarmingly, not that it made Setsuna feel any less on the spot "I'm no longer the heir of the school, you don't have to be so formal." She smiled at the girl "Call me Tsuruko-san."

The idea of referring to the greatest warrior of the shinmeiryuu so familiarly was so grand that Setsuna could only sputter incoherently, which prompted another genteel laugh from the older woman. It was at that moment that Konoka returned from trying to save Chamo from Asuna's wrath, looking up at the former Shihan in confusion. "Excuse me, ma'am." The dean's daughter called out, a confused look on her face as she gazed up at the legend "Have we met before?"

"We have, Konoka-chan." Tsuruko admitted, though for some reason her smile seemed a little…strained, as if the sight of the girl unsettled her "I was the one who brought Setsuna-chan to your home years ago."

Konoka's eyes widened as she beamed at the woman, "Ah! So you're Set-chan's sensei?" she asked, her eyes excited as she bowed her head in thanks "Thank you for letting her play with me!"

"It was my…pleasure, Konoka-chan." Tsuruko assured the girl, a gentle, but oddly aged smile on her face, Setsuna noting the hand holding her sword trembling for some reason "I had heard you were all alone at the temple, and Setsuna-chan had always wanted a friend." She smiled at the two "So are you two getting along well?"

"Yep!" Konoka beamed, smiling up at the woman as she hugged Setsuna close, regardless of her nudity or Setsuna's flush "Set-chan's my best friend! I'll always be with her!"

Tsuruko smiled, reaching out and tentatively ruffling the beaming girl's hair with a gentle hand "Then I'm glad…" was all she said before nodding to Setsuna and walking off without a word.

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"What in the heck was THAT all about?" Kotaro asked aloud, helping Negi sit up as the young Welshman came round, Konoka holding her head in confusion "I heard the demon blade was a bit eccentric but she seemed really out of it there…"

"Who cares." Hiei snapped, startling the life out of everyone as he stood before them, his hand on his sword hilt "I want to know just what in the hell's been going on here." He eyed Setsuna and Kotaro coldly "Especially since there seems to be a half-breed convention going on."

Kotaro growled at the derogatory term, Setsuna flinching but holding her Nodachi at the ready in case Hiei started anything. "Don't even think about it." The red-eyed horror warned, a smug smirk on his face "You should know by now that the only reason you survived our little spar was because I've been reigning in the majority of my power." He nodded towards the prone form of Kuwabara "Hell, if the buffoon here hadn't dealt with the big one behind us I'd have been forced to do so myself."

He stood forward, waves of youki washing off him as his eyes glowed a dark, murderous red "But by all means…" he offered, a dark smirk on his face "feel free to try your luck."

The group shivered at the feeling of the simultaneously cold and blazing youki, Setsuna stepping in front of a concerned Konoka, Kaede's smile dropping as she slipped stiletto knives into her hands, Mana removing the safeties on her guns as her eyes narrowed. Asuna stepped in front of Negi, bringing her Harisen up to bear even as Kotaro and Ku Fei took up stances in front of Yue, the only one with no fighting ability other than Konoka.

Then something rapped Hiei so hard across the back of his head he actually spat in shock, the group blinking in surprise as they gaped at the figure standing behind the demon in surprise.

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"You're a real ass, y'know that Hiei?" Kuwabara muttered, looking haggard but other wise alright as he stood behind the startled Youkai, a smug smirk on his face "Even after all these years you never learned how to talk to women."

"Bastard!" Hiei growled, glaring up venomously at the one time weakest link in the now infamous, if defunct, Team Urameshi as he towered over him as always "How did you sneak up on me?!"

"I suppressed my Reiki so that you couldn't feel it." Kuwabara shot back, popping his neck joints with a grunt as he straightened himself out "Though it wasn't that hard…I was pretty drained to begin with."

"Feh, so you've picked up a few new tricks since we last met." Hiei muttered, glaring up at the taller man, a calculative expression on his face "But you still waste too much energy in your attacks, a foe like that should've been child's-play to someone that faced the things you have."

"Well excuse me if I haven't spent my time fighting S-class demons for a living." Kuwabara muttered, crossing his arms in annoyance as he glared down at the swordsman "Unlike you, I actually had a life to come back to here."

"Oh yes, running around gallivanting with a bunch of prepubescent schoolgirls." Hiei scoffed, running his eyes over the group, earning indignant squawks from some of them, a confused blink from Konoka and Negi, and a cool glare from Mana and Setsuna respectively "I'd forgotten your species' incessant need to procreate."

"BAKAYARO!" Kuwabara yelled, actually forcing Hiei to lean back slightly, his face red from the demon's mocking implication "Those're my students teme! Get your mind out of the gutter!" He scoffed "Beside's, Yukina-chan is the only girl for me!"

Hiei twitched at that, shooting his sister's would-be suitor a dark, piercing glare, his Jagan pulsing under the bandana. The idea of Kuwabara being within 100 miles of his twin unsettled the Koorime in ways that not even Mukuro on her period could match, but for some inexplicable reason, his sister saw something in the buffoon that seemed to bring a smile to her face every time she spoke of him. On the one hand it pleased him to see his sibling so happy, on the other it pissed him off that it was Kuwabara that could make her smile so. Ah the trials of brotherhood.

"She's too good for the likes of you." He muttered, though without venom in his tone, merely stubbornness and fraternal devotion.

"You wanna say that again chibi?!" Kuwabara snapped, leveling his fist at the red-eyed swordsman, a vein bulging on his head, even as Hiei turned his glare upon him, sword edging out of its sheath.

"…You want to die so badly, fool?" the Koorime growled, electricity sparking between them as Kuwabara's aura rose to the fore, his thoughts of Yukina, plus the healing magic from Konoka, rapidly refilling his spent reserves.

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'Whoa!' Kotaro gaped, eyes widening in awe as he felt the aura of the two as they faced off 'Man, where'd Negi hide these guys? They're in a class of their own!'

All members of the Mahora group that dealt with the paranormal to an extent shared this opinion. Setsuna was forcibly trying to keep her wings hidden, for revealing them to Konoka was one thing, but letting anyone else learn about her Hanyou-status could jeopardize her standing as Konoka's bodyguard…and friend. Kaede and Mana felt shivers wash over them from the contrasting Aura's, the coldness that burned that emanated from Hiei clashing with the gentle firmness of Kuwabara. Both of them had seen many different people in their lives, but never had they seen two such auras facing off against each other.

It was like opposites clashing, Kuwabara's warmth warding off Hiei's coldness, the Youkai's sharpness scraping against Kuwabara's stoutness, like a blade against a shield.

Naturally, both of them were keeping a firm grip on Ku-Fei's shoulders, keeping the excited kempo user from getting mixed up in the fight. Ku might be a better fighter than Kuwabara-sensei, though who knew what training he'd undergone recently, but even she wasn't ready to go head to head with someone in the same league as Aoyama Tsuruko …and had clearly been holding back. You could tell by the way Hiei's aura wrapped around him, straining for release, almost like he'd used a tourniquet on his youki. Kaede had seen Kuwabara go through a similar exercise before, so she could tell just by looking at Hiei that he wasn't anywhere NEAR 100%...pushing 60 at best.

"Kuwabara-sensei?" Konoka called out, standing up with her sheet wrapped around her for decency's sake, Kuwabara and Hiei breaking off their glaring contest at her voice, blinking as the girl beamed up at them. "Thank you for saving me…Sensei!" the dean's granddaughter chirped, "Negi-kun and I would've been in a real mess if you hadn't shown up." She turned her smile towards Hiei "And thank you, Hiei-san!" she offered, much to everyone's shock "Kuwabara-sensei's lucky to have someone as strong as you for a friend!"

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Hiei gaped at the human girl in utter confusion, ignoring Kuwabara's heated sputtering that he 'wasn't friends with no card carrying psychopathic chibi!' in favour of looking her over. 'Strong magical power.' He noted, shivering slightly as he felt his Youki flare up slightly, suppressing the urge to let the Jagan take a peak inside her head 'Strongest I've sensed in any Human since…ever.'

While magic wasn't that unknown a practice to demons, most of the ones that utilized it tended to be of a different caste than the ones Hiei associated with, as he didn't see the point in muttering a bunch of incantations to fire off some overrated projectile when a blast of fiery Youki got the job done just as well.

Of course Mukuro and Yomi had one or two stashed away somewhere, inscribing wards or runes on weapons and scrying for potential threats. Hell, one of his subordinates on the patrol team was a seer, and had predicted quite a few of the breakouts Hiei had been sent to quell, not to mention locating the few humans that managed to find their way to Makai before they rotted away.

But none of them held a candle to the amount of raw mana he could feel bubbling away inside this girl like a living lake. It was gentle too, lapping against his senses like calm water, rather than the jagged, invasive feeling that demon world practitioners gave off.

"Feh…" He grunted, allowing his sword to return to its sheath and pulling his cloak over one shoulder, a hand in his pocket "I've wasted enough time here…" he muttered, earning a blink from the group as he walked down the pier "I'm gone."

"Yeah good riddance ya freak." Kuwabara muttered, though there was a note of good humor in his tone and a smirk on his face as he crossed his arms "Next time, why don't ya bring some o' that hooch Chu's always chugging down?"

"Aho." Hiei muttered, though if you looked close, there was a slight tug to his lips "That stuff's contraband even in Makai…and you call yourself a Reikai Tantei?" he snorted wryly "And here I'd begun to think humanity had a chance."

"Up yours with a Buick." Kuwabara muttered, flipping the short Youkai off, earning a giggle from Konoka, quiet chuckles from Mana & Kaede, and a snort from Kotaro "Just make sure your ass is intact th' next time you come through…" he clenched his fist with a smirk "So I can thrash it!"

"Hn…" Hiei scoffed, pulling out his hands and snapping his fingers, the group, sans Kuwabara, gaping in awe as the air in front of the Youkai distorted, opening up like a gaping maw to reveal what looked like a barren, red tinted wasteland, Hiei stepping calmly through it without a second thought, the maw closing up behind him.

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"I'm getting to old for this shit…" Koenma sighed, sinking into his comfy office chair with a groan as he finished looking over the report he'd just gotten from Ayame, who'd been watching over the events in Kyoto for him. "Bad enough that Chigusa woman managed to summon an army of C-class Demons, but to find out there was an A, bordering on S-class sealed into the shrine? How could we have missed that?"

"We still haven't seen how far back your father's dealings went sir." George offered consolingly, the blue oni pouring the toddler monarch a stiff cup of coffee. "Speaking of which, a delegation came through from one of the depths of Makai we've been trying to treatise with…"

"Leave it on my desk, I'll read it later." Koenma muttered, gripping the bridge of his nose between his fingers "It's times like this I regret firing Yusuke…for one thing I could at least have yelled at him for this mess."

George said nothing, though he had to agree that yelling at Yusuke, while usually ending up with Koenma downing enough aspirin to kill a rhino, had a type of cathartic effect on the monarch…like yelling your lungs out at the horizon where no-one can hear it…Yusuke certainly didn't pay attention after all.

"And I suppose Mukuro'll have a few words for me too…" the monarch noted with exhausted bitterness, leaning back into the comfort of his chair with another explosive sigh "No doubt pointed ones about the lack of information…as always."

"At least Kuwabara was there to keep things under wraps." George pointed out optimistically, beaming down at his lord and master/ward and patting him on the shoulder "And he DID manage to take the thing down."

"Yes…but he had to use the Jigen-Tou to do it." Koenma reminded the ogre, his eyes half-lidded with concern "I'm all for using drastic measures if it means getting the job done," he fiddled with his mafuukan pacifier as he said this "but that thing's far too unpredictable. There's no telling the after effects slicing through dimensional barriers could have now that the Kekkai no longer separates the worlds…though Kuwabara has been sparing in it's use."

"Perhaps we should give him a raise then sir?" George suggested, only to back away, hiding behind his clipboard at the glare Koenma was leveling at him "Just kidding!"

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Kuwabara sighed as he soaked in the Konoe Family's private onsen, letting the soothing waters ease away the stiffness of the night before. He didn't know if it was because it was part of the Kansai M.A, but his wounds seemed to be healing up faster too. Tsuruko had left him instructions to recover for a while before returning to the compound, in truth she'd asked him to stay here a whole day, but the magical healing from Konoka, coupled with his own Reiki, had cut down the time dramatically, and he fully intended to be back at the compound just after lunch.

'I know she told me not to rush things,' he muttered, sighing as he leant back against the rim of the bath for support 'But I cut my training with Toguro short, if I take any longer he's gonna be pissed as hell.'

The prospect of going up against an angry Toguro somehow managed to scare the tantei more than his battle with Sukuna, which just went to show you how messed up his life really was. 'Hell according to Botan I'm the equivalent of A-rank prime.' He muttered, shaking his head at the thought 'In terms of reiki I should be able to beat the guy around the bush…but those techniques of his…'

Toguro and Genkai had never gone into detail about just what the muscleman had been like before becoming a demon, though it was clear his overall attitude hadn't changed. But upon becoming a demon, Toguro sealed away most of his fighting style, instead limiting himself to pure strength and basic martial arts…rather than utilize the techniques he'd once honed to kill demons.

'Like that movement technique.' The tantei muttered, wincing as his left leg, the one that'd been petrified first, stung slightly, the muscle tensing as if he'd pulled it recently 'Still can't pull it off properly…but damn if it ain't effective!'

He looked up as the door opened to admit a smiling Konoe Eishun, Konoka's father and, as it turned out, the elder of the Kansai M.A, dressed in nothing but a towel, his toned body riddled with small battle scars. "Ah, Kuwabara-kun." The bespectacled man greeted, beaming at him kindly as he slipped into the water "Enjoying the dip?"

"Yeah," the tantei agreed with a smirk, waving at the man and letting the onsen water drip from his hand back into the bath "Gotta hand it ta you mages, you sure know how ta brew up a mean bath."

"Just natural hot springs water…no magic at all." Eishun countered with a modest chuckle, leaning back against the rim next to the man with a sigh "Though perhaps it's one of Mother Nature's little gifts."

"Don't ever return it's all I'm saying." Kuwabara joked, the two sharing a quiet laugh as they sat in the water, simply enjoying the soothing effects of the warm waters, before the elder turned to face him.

"I owe you a great deal Kuwabara-kun." Eishun admitted, his face still cheerful, but with a solemn note to it "Not only did you selflessly rescue my daughter, but Negi, the son of one of my most trusted friends." He chuckled at the look on Kuwabara's face at the admission "Although…there are quite a few people you've annoyed because of Sukuna, he WAS sealed into the lake by my people after all."

"They wanna complain? Then let 'em." Kuwabara shot back, lifting his hand to reveal a slight golden glow "I can show 'em how I deal with uppity stiffs that like ta throw their weight around."

"That…won't be necessary, I assure you." Eishun chuckled, a bead of sweat sliding down his cheek, as he was tempted, oh so sorely tempted, to let the traditional old farts do so, anything to get them to shut up about losing their precious 'ace in the hole'. The war had been over for years now, and even centuries ago they hadn't been able to properly control Sukuna. His daughter might possess phenomenal magical reserves, but untrained as he'd left her she was no more that a battery for whatever control mechanisms the next group of dissenters could have used to raise the beast.

So Eishun was quite glad, if a little amazed, to learn that not only was Sukuna apparently dead as a doornail, but most of the body had apparently vanished into thin air. Though he suspected a certain red-eyed swordsman and his goons might have something to do with that, Jagan or no Jagan, one's memories could still be read if someone of notable talent put them to good use. 'I'll have to remember to give Yamanaka-dono a raise.' He noted, nodding his head at the thought, before looking across at the younger man with a frown 'And on that matter…'

"Kuwabara-kun." He began, drawing the man's attention to himself with a sigh, knowing that this next conversation was likely to get a bit uncomfortable for the younger man "About the incident with Konoka…"

"My fault entirely." Kuwabara cut in, looking apologetic "I mean I shoulda figured that splitting up would've invited trouble…but I had ta see the Shinmeiryuu as soon as possible…I STILL need ta finish a few things there now I think of it." he shook himself out of his daze "So Don't blame Negi for the whole kidnapping thing." He insisted, looking stern "The kid's only ten, the old man at Mahora should've sent more back-up"

"Erm…that's quite alright." Eishun stammered, secretly agreeing with the man's statement regarding his father, but notwanting to make a big stink about it just yet "But that wasn't what I was referring to…"

"Really?" Kuwabara asked with a blink, looking confused before flushing slightly "Oh wait, is this about seeing her in the buff?" he stammered, holding up his hands "It wasn't intentional! That chick with the plushy fetish stripped her down for some reason!"

"Erm…not that either…" Eishun choked, shaking the image of Chigusa posing in an assortment of furry costumes out of his head. Father and priest he may be, but some things never change, especially old weaknesses "I was referring to the pactio."

"The whuh? OH! Right." Kuwabara realized, shaking his head and wondering how on earth Negi managed to get himself into these messes "I suppose that's my fault…if I'd kept my guard up that brat wouldn't have gotten my throat." He chuckled, rolling his shoulders slightly "Still, gotta hand it ta Konoka-chan, for a first timer she does good work."

"Indeed she does." Eishun agreed, a fond smile crossing his features as he'd watched his daughter gush about her healing abilities. He'd always hated denying her the knowledge of her heritage, especially on top of the other secrets, but he and his wife had decided it was for the best.

"Anyway, don't you worry about nothin'." Kuwabara assured the man, clenching his fist confidently for emphasis as he spoke "I'll make sure she doesn't run around wavin' spells around in th' open."

"While that is good news to hear," Eishun agreed, reaching behind him "I was not, in fact, referring to the pactio with Negi-sensei." He pulled out a card, holding it up for the tantei to see the name written on it in latin-english "I was actually hoping to speak to you about YOURS."

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At the Aoyama compound, Aoyama Seiko sighed as she watched Tsuruko flip through a small, well-kept photo-album, the famed demon sword tracing the pictures within with a hint of sadness and longing on her face. The matriarch didn't disturb her daughter however, knowing that an interruption would not make the mood any better, even if she longed to embrace her, to comfort her from the hurt. She merely stood there and watched, a concerned Sayo hovering nearby.

"_NAAAAAAANIIIIIIIIIIIII??!?!?!?!?!"_

The two Aoyama blinked, Sayo letting out a startled squeal before hiding inside her tablet in fear. The two women turned in the direction of the Konoe temple, listening as the yell died away, before looking at one another and suppressing chuckles of mirth. "It seems Eishun-kun has informed him of the events that transpired." Seiko noted with a smile, covering her lips with her sleeve "Poor Kuwabara-kun..."

"Such a shame he's spoken for." Tsuruko agreed, putting the photo album away with a smile, her eyes twinkling as she looked to her mother conspiratorially "with stamina like his, could you imagine the grandchildren?"

"GREAT grandchildren in my case." Seiko pointed out, the two sharing a wistful smile that had Sayo blinking at them in confusion.

Unnoticed by the three, a lone photo remained sticking out of the booklet, half of it covered by the pages, but the other half depicting a beaming Tsuruko in a wedding kimono.

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Cue the Nadesiko music.

Narrator: Our hero has recieved the reward for his troubles!

Kuwabara: WTF?! TT_TT!

Narrator: But before he can ride of into the sunset, one last trial remains.

Toguro: Skip out on MY training will you?!

Narrator: And what's this?! Could romance be in the air.

Tsuruko: Chu-!

Random Groupie: NOOO!! Tsuruko-sama!

Narrator: Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: Farwell Kyoto! For the women I love, I'll Shine!

Kotaro: What the hell is this guy on?

R&R!!

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	30. Chapter 30

And so Kuwabara learns the hard way that magic, in all it's eccentricies, is something to be avoided at all costs for the sake of your sanity.

But don't count your chickens just yet true reviewers, as Kyoto isn't through with the big guy just yet.

???: Kukukukuku...

_Heaven or Hell?_

_LET'S RAWK!_

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30th period.

At the Konoe temple, the group of heroes were recovering from the previous night's ordeal, each in their own way. Fortunately, the Elder's reinforcements were able to break the petrification spell on Nodoka, Kazumi and Haruna, the latter of which had fortunately been convinced that she'd passed out the night before through liberal use of Amazake and the odd memory charm.

Kaede and Mana, the more mature of the group, had made use of the temple's natural onsen at every opportunity, which led to a few near misunderstandings when Negi and Eishun accidentally stumbled in, Asakura snapping off a few random shots of the 'scandal' to run up in the Mahora Times when she got back.

Yue was sticking to Nodoka like glue, pretending to not have the foggiest idea of what happened whilst Haruna was in earshot, whilst conversing with her nervous friend about what she'd seen. Nodoka, of course, couldn't lie to save her life, especially not to her closest, dearest friend, and so eventually the solemn bluentte was brought up to date with everything that was going down at campus. Well, everything that Nodoka had been filled in on anyways.

And as for Kuwabara? Well as soon as he could walk again, sometime after lunch, the bug lug had sauntered off to the Shinmeiryuu compound. The lanky professor had fully recovered, both physucally and in terms of Reiki, from his ordeal the night before, but the group was still worried about him, as he'd looked like someone had sucked all the vitality out of him, and he'd steadfastly refused to meet Konoka's gaze, much to her confusion.

The girl herself was currently sitting in her room at the temple, kicking her feet idly in the air whilst a concerned Setsuna crouched near her bed.

"O-Oujo-sama…" the kendo-ka muttered, looking at the beaming girl nervously as she gushed over her pactio card like a child with a new toy, heeldess of any consequences "Are…are absolutely you certain you certain you're alright?"

"Of course! Look how adorable this is!" Konoka insisted, little hearts in her mouth as she held the magical card that depicted herself, dressed like an Onmyo priest, waving two fans, up for Setsuna to see. The girl hadn't activated it yet, so there was no way if knowing what the artifacts did exactly, but Setsuna had a few suspicions already. After all, there was no way Konoka would have a combat orientated artifact. "To think that rumor about kissing Negi for a card was real!" the Headmaster's granddaughter giggled, referring to Asakura and Chamo's little game during the second night's stay at the inn "If class-Rep and Makie find out they'll flip!"

Now there was a thought that froze Setsuna's blood cold, but she shook it off with a determined cough "Erm…Oujo-sama…" she called out, waving a hand to catch the girl's attention once again "Your contract with Negi-sensei aside…what about Kuwabara-sensei's?"

Konoka blinked in confusion, her eyes widening as she pulled out another card, this one with Kuwabara's name written in Latin, out from inside her blouse, much to Setsuna's utter mortification "It's weird." she muttered, turning the image over repeatedly "It looks nothing like him…you can't see his face."

"That's not what I meant!" Setsuna insisted, covering her mouth when she realized she'd been close to shouting "Negi-sensei is just a child so it is hardly a problem, but Kuwabara-sensei is a grown man! And a member of the faculty at Mahora at that! If word of this gets out-!"

"Oh I'm sure Grandpa won't mind too badly." Konoka assured her, waving it off with a smile that'd charm the devil himself "After all it was an accident, and it wasn't like it was my first kiss anyways."

Neither of them noticed Asakura Kazumi hiding just outside the doorway, recording the conversation on a handheld camera, an excited blush crossing her features 'This is BIG!' she realized, trembling from near excitement 'Kuwabara-sensei and Konoka in a lip-lock? They'll be selling it faster than they can print it!"

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"What in the HELL happened to YOU?" Toguro asked, titling his glasses as he looked over his would-be pupil in disbelief, watching as the tantei slumped against a boulder, doing a passable imitation of a certain 2nd lieutenant.

"My life is over…" Kuwabara stammered, mock tears streaming down his face as a cloud of DOOM hung over his head "I can't go on…life has no meaning."

Toguro sweatdropped, grateful for his tinted sunglasses as he gaped at the distraught figure. He'd been waiting here for Kuwabara to return, a little peeved that the brat had skipped out on their training earlier, but the Tantei's reikan had flared up, citing that Negi was in trouble right before Tsuruko opened the door, letting him out and promising the demon she'd return him in one piece.

'Well she kept her word physically at least.' He deadpanned, walking over with his hands in his coat pockets 'but mentally…yeesh, this is almost as bad as what Hina would put Konoemon through.' He pulled his left fist out from his pocket 'Let's see if I can get the same results.'

Two seconds later and Kuwabara was pulling his head out of the dirt, swearing a long string of profanities that actually earned a cocked eyebrow from Toguro, and this is someone who was willingly sentenced to the deepest pit of hell for his crimes.

"Now that you're back among the living." The demon noted, cutting off the next salvo as Kuwabara paused for breath "Care to explain why you're acting like you got neutered?"

Kuwabara froze at the imagery, suddenly envisioning the Dean and Shizuru bearing down on him with a pair of giant shears and shivered uncontrollably, clutching his pickles and eggs in terror. "That bad huh?" Toguro muttered, wondering just what it could be as he sat down across from the shivering wreck "Well fill me in, what's your beef?"

Five minutes later and the demon was afraid he was about to implode from keeping his laugher locked in, his shoulders trembling from the effort to maintain his stoic image.

"So now her dad's telling me to keep an eye on her, whilst trying to see if there's a way to annul the pactio." Kuwabara muttered, shoulders slumped as he sighed "Man…this is SO going to mess things up…"

"So you swiped a kiss from your student, big whoop." Toguro managed to get out, clearing his throat subtly to get himself under control "Worse things have happened, hell it wasn't even her first kiss if what you're telling me is right."

"But Negi's just a kid! That doesn't count!" Kuwabara insisted, waving his hands for emphasis as he tried to make the former villian see sense "I mean an innocent kiss with a ten year old isn't the same as lip-locking with your sensei!"

"She French ya?" Toguro asked, only to smirk as Kuwabara sent him a glare that reminded him eerily of Genkai for some reason "Right, just kidding, anyway I still don't see what the big deal is. I mean even her old man admits it was an accident. Hell from what I can tell NOBODY really seems to mind except you."

"But…" Kuwabara stammered, before slumping and looking down at the ground and twiddling his fingers, looking absolutely dejected as he mumbled to himself"I was saving it for Yukina-chan…"

"Saving…" Toguro repeated, only to blink, both eyebrows rising well above his specs as he gaped at the over twenty year old in abject disbelief "Don't tell me…that was your first…?"

At that point, Toguro really couldn't help but fall to the ground laughing his arse off at the Tantei's miserable nod, it was just too damn funny not to.

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"Something up Shizuru?" Keiko asked, looking over at the eldest Kuwabara sibling as she put away her third bowl of udon. The fiancé to the former Reikai Tantei had long since discovered that when Shizuru, normally the epitome of calm and reserved, decided to come and pig out, it meant her sixth sense, which rivaled even her little brothers despite no formal training, had felt something big and she wanted to vent.

"It's Kazuma." Shizuru admitted between mouthfuls, pushing the empty bowl away and lighting up a smoke, heedless of the long suffering look Keiko sent her way "I got a big blip on my senses a while ago…the type that only happened when I caught him watching those porn videos with Urameshi."

Keiko blushed at that, before shaking her head with a scowl, muttering something that sounded like 'Yusuke no baka' before looking back at her friend in concern "but Kuwabara's not the type to do stuff like that…I mean he's a teacher for crying out loud!"

"A male teacher at an all girls school." Shizuru reminded the girl, causing Keiko's eyes to widen "Not to mention a guy that wasn't exactly known for his good behavior as a kid, hell he hung out with Urameshi and all."

"Well don't I feel special." Yusuke's voice called out, the girls turning to find the former tantei turned Hanyou coming in from his evening classes, book bag over one shoulder "Yo, it's no smoking in here Shizuru."

"Like you're one to talk." The elder Kuwabara sibling pointed out, taking a drag of her cancer stick as if to spite the tantei. After all, if she could keep her super-powered baby brother in line, she didn't need to fear a guy that Keiko had wrapped around her little finger.

Yusuke flipped the woman off, earning a warning look from Keiko, though she did giggle at his antics, before looking back at them with a quirked eyebrow "Now…what's this about Kuwabara at an all girl's school?"

The two females shared a look, recognizing the smirk on Yusuke's face all to well, and cursing his Mazoku hearing and ability to conceal his reiki.

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"Alright…" Toguro breathed, chuckling at the angrily pouting Kuwabara with a hand over his mouth to fend off the laughter "So she took your first kiss…big whoop, she didn't mean to." He coughed again "Anyways, if it's messing with your head that much, I've got just the thing to clear it up."

Kuwabara, on some inbred instinct, brought his guard up before the shade-sporting demon had finished talking, blocking Toguro's fists with his hands, channeling reiki through his arms to protect them, as he'd been shown. It still didn't do much more than lessen the damage from Toguro's fist however, as the demon still sent the tantei flying, Kuwabara biting off a curse as his back crashed into a tree.

"Keep your eyes open!" the demon roared, already in his 80% form and lashing out with a flurry of punches that reduced the surrounding landscape to little more than a collection of craters and rubble "Your enemies won't give you time to recover!"

Kuwabara cursed and flared reiki to his legs, kicking off and re-appearing behind the behemoth, his blow intercepted by a reverse elbow strike. He ducked under the retaliatory snap kick, sweeping out Toguro's legs and following it up with a rolling heel kick to the stomach. Toguro, naturally, rolled out of the way and delivered a sharp kick to the Tantei's side, sending him skipping across the ground in the opposite direction.

"Better!" the demon barked out, charging towards the figure with his fists glowing with youki, a leer on his face that showed he was in full combat mode, which was somewhere between 'Phychotic axe murderer' and 'Hannibal Lechter' on the freak out meter "Let's see you keep it up for the rest of the day!"

Kuwabara rolled to his feet, his own fist glowing with Reiki as he thrust it forward, the two blows colliding in a burst of red and gold energy, blinding both fighters and wiping out several stunted trees in the area with the shockwave.

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"It won't be long now." Seiko noted, standing with Tsuruko and Iruka in front of the gates of the Shuren no Mon, patiently awaiting the completion of Kuwabara's training "The day is almost over…"

"I'm amazed that there were no side effects." Iruka muttered appreciatively, holding his chin in thought as he turned to regard the matriarch "I mean it's unprecedented! The human mind cannot withstand the dark energies of Makai for more than a day at most!"

"Ah, but Kuwabara-kun HAS encountered it before." Tsuruko reminded her onetime mentor, a serene smile on her face as she looked towards the gate "After all, he IS the one that cut through the Kekkai all those years ago."

Iruka nodded grimly, recalling the aftermath of what their clan referred to as 'Sensui's Jihad' with a grimace. Sensui Shinobu had been considered the most prominent Reikai Tantei of his time, a prodigy that had created his own unique fighting style without anyone helping him out. When he'd retired, his faith in humanity shaken by the events of the Black Book Club's mansion, Aoyama Seiji, Tsuruko's father and then clan leader, had offered the man sanctuary, a place to heal his wounded heart.

Of course, by that point Sensui's personality had already been fractured beyond repair, the 'Black Angel' took advantage of that kindness to seclude himself in their temples, meditating and honing his techniques against them in what appeared to be friendly spars. It wasn't until someone had realized the gates to the Shuren no Mon had been opened recently that they realized how deeply they'd been deceived, but by then Sensui had already withdrawn from the compound.

Seiji had led a task force to track down the former Tantei, wanting nothing more than to keep the man he'd come to regard as friend from doing himself harm. When the survivors were found it was learned that Sensui had ruthlessly butchered them with his newly awakened Sei-Kou-Ki, his face as impassive as a mask as he'd gouged out Seiji's heart with his bare hands.

Ever since then the Shinmeiryuu had barred it's doors to all but those it felt were worthy of trust, only trainees and those that were sent from trusted sources were permitted within the hallowed training grounds, and with the exception of Tsuruko, no other trainees were forced to endure the Shuren no Mon's trials.

"He will persevere." Seiko spoke up, startling the trainer from his thoughts with the confidence in her tone as she gazed up at the towering gates "He will emerge from these gates a changed man…but in power only, not in spirit."

"I agree." Tsuruko spoke up, her gaze confident and smile gentle "He reminds me of father in a away," she admitted, to Iruka's shock "that gentle, reassuring presence that somehow manages to calm you, put you at ease. I didn't think I would feel it again."

'Would be that he possessed even a DROP of Seiji-sama's charisma and skill.' Iruka muttered, though it was without disdain, merely wistfulness and longing for the man he'd once considered a friend.

Their thoughts were silenced as the gates stirred, slowly creaking open of their own accord, the hinges moaning ominously as dust and ki filled the air. They shivered, the feeling of the dark energies of Makai washing over them like fog, the smell of blood rich air wafting from the depths of the cave as they awaited the emergence of the tantei.

Sayo cowered close to Seiko, the spirit of the schoolgirl trembling as the evil energies wafted around her, only Seiko's presence shielding her from being tainted by them. She'd been concerned for her sensei and friend ever since he'd disappeared into the cave, though the fact he'd emerged earlier on had been a relief, even if he hadn't stopped by to say hello. Not that she was lonely, Seiko and Tsuruko were nothing if not perfect hosts, eager to share tales of their exploits with the terminally shy spirit, and there were trainees that had expressed an interest in Mahora, though they never explained why.

A figure stepped into view, drawing closer through the gloom, his battered Hakama and uwagi torn in several places, both sleeves ripped off at the shoulders. His torso, what was visible, was a mess of bruises and scars, though neither looked recent and seemed to be healing well enough on their own. His face, though haggard, had a proud grin stretched across it, and his hands were stuffed into the gaps in his Hakama like pockets as he exited the cave, looking exhausted and battered, but nonetheless victorious. "Yo…" He greeted, lifting an arm to wave at the group in greeting "I keep ya waitin' long?"

"KUWABARA-SENSEI!" Sayo cheered, rushing forwards and tackling the battered Tantei in a glomp that would've impressed a certain Chinese Amazon, Kuwabara actually stumbling slightly, landing on his ass with an undignified yelp as his spectral student hugged him tightly "YOU CAME BACK!"

"GAH! Sayo-chan!" the Tantei exclaimed, flailing his arms around in panic as his skin tingled from the contact with the overly emotional, yet unassuming spirit's ectoplasmic form "COLD! TOO COLD! MY RIBS!"

"So cute…" Seiko noted, she and Tsuruko giggling into their uwagi sleeves as Kuwabara thrashed about, trying to, gently, dislodge the sprit that was unintentionally aggravating his wounds. Iruka, torn between bemusement and exasperation, settled for shaking his head and chuckling weakly at the sight.

None of them paid any mind as the Shuren no Mon slowly closed itself, the chains that sealed it clanking back into place of their own accord.

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Inside the gate, Toguro stood in his untransformed state, pulling his trench-coat back on as he waited for the pocket dimension to dissolve, sending him right back to his eternal torment. He couldn't say he was looking forward to it, hell at the end of it he'd completely cease to exist, but this was his punishment for his crimes as a demon, and Toguro was nothing if not a man who paid his dues.

"Toguro-san." A voice called out from on high, the human turned B-class demon turning to find the dark haired ferry-woman, 'Ayame was it?' floating in the air overhead, her face as regal and composed as ever.

"That time huh?" the demon noted, shrugging his shoulders and placing his hands inside his coat pockets "Time flies I suppose, even in this place."

Ayame said nothing, merely looking over the tall man impassively, before turning her head to the spot the gates had appeared at to release Kuwabara "Did he succeed?"

"Kid's got a lot of potential, I could see that even back at Tarukane's mansion." Toguro admitted, tone level "The only reason I focused so hard on Urameshi is because he had the best chance of beating me head on, Kuwabara was good but lacked the proper training and determination."

"So how did he measure up?" Ayame asked, looking over the one-time lover of Genkai and one of the best martial artists of his generation with a curious glance, only to blink as he began to chuckle.

"It's oddly ironic really…" Toguro admitted "me training Kuwabara, Genkai training Urameshi…both our styles getting passed on to the appropriate students." He snorted, looking down at his hand, which to Ayame's shock was bruised and had several broken fingers "That's karma I suppose…now enough of this small talk…let's get going."

"I'm afraid I can't do that." Ayame replied, hovering lower and pulling a file out from her kimono "Something's come up…"

Toguro quirked an eyebrow, accepting the file, which bore his own name, and flipping it open with a frown. "…the hell's this?"

"Due to the revelation of the former Enma-Daiou's transgressions, all demon's judged by Reikai have had their cases re-examined." Ayame explained "As such, Koenma-sama managed to pull some strings, bringing your past deeds as a human into new light," she nodded at the man "That, coupled with your current activities with Kuwabara, has entitled you for parole."

"Are you kidding me?" Toguro muttered, quirking an eyebrow at the woman in disbelief from behind his tinted glasses "I CHOSE to be sent to the depths of hell, my past deeds as a human entitled me to that right, where does that brat get off changing my sentence?"

"Well," Ayame muttered, pulling out another file "There's a reason he pulled you out, it seems that one of the Makai depths we've been investigating has recently had a power shift…the reigning demon of the area passed away, and all his underlings are running amok."

"And Koenma wants me to sort them out?" Toguro muttered, honestly wondering how Urameshi had put up with the toddler god for so long, accepting the file from the ferry woman and quirking an eyebrow at what he saw "The hell?"

"It's a...complicated matter." Ayame admitted, shaking her head in disbelief, having perused the contents herself already "But the higher ups are putting a lot of pressure on Koenma-sama to resolve things according to their designs."

"Bureaucracies…" Toguro muttered disgustedly, having had his fill of politics as a human, before snapping both files shut and returning them, before shaking his head with a grin "Well then…what're we waiting for?"

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"Thank's for everythin'." Kuwabara offered, dressed once more in his suit and tie, his attaché case held in one hand as he bowed from the waist, facing the assembled Shinmeiryuu warriors as he prepared to leave their grounds.

"The honor was ours, Kuwabara-kun." Seiko assured the tantei, returning the bow, along with a few of the other trainers, "We truly regret we couldn't have learned of you sooner, you'd have made a fine addition to the Shinmeiryuu." She nodded to the side, and a female trainee stepped forwards, holding out a set of Hakama and Uwagi "Still, please accept this gift from us, as an honorary member of the clan."

"Ah you don't have to do that." Kuwabara offered with a flush, honestly embarrassed by their apparent regard for him, though he accepted the clothes from the girl, missing her slight flush as he tucked it under one arm "I'll send Genkai-Baachan your regards."

"Please do." Seiko offered, smiling serenely at the man "And feel free to stop by again if you feel you need more training, our gates are always open for you."

Kuwabara nodded, bowing one last time before making his way down the steps, noting that the hidden sentries in the trees had respectfully made themselves visible out of deference for his status as a guest, some of them saluting from their positions as he passed. The tantei proceeded down the steps, idly noting how alive the area felt, his newly sharpened senses picking up the very ki of the trees around him, his eyes catching the movement of the leaves as they danced on the wind.

He was so caught up in marveling his new senses, that he almost missed Tsuruko's ki as she waited for him at the bottom of the steps, her arms folded inside her uwagi and Shippu cooing softly on her shoulder.

"I wanted to see you off myself." The former shihan explained, smiling serenely at the younger man's confusion as she stepped away from the wall, nodding at the bundle "I see Hahaue passed on the training gi."

"Yeah," Kuwabara agreed, gripping the bundle closer, honestly wondering when on earth he'd be needing it, as he wasn't likely to wear anything other than suits at Mahora "Couldn't think of a polite way to turn her down."

"I see." Tsuruko chuckled, understanding the look on his face all too well. It took dedication to wear the traditional garb at all times, only those that lived at the compound like she did could pull it off and not look strange walking about town. "Can I walk with you for a while?" she asked, startling the tantei "If you don't mind and old woman's company that is."

"You're not old." Kuwabara countered with a mutter, flushing at how familiar that sounded, even to himself, and averting his eyes from Tsuruko as she smiled at him appreciatively "I mean…that is uh…"

"You're a kind man Kuwabara-kun." Tsuruko chuckled, smiling wistfully at him as she walked with him to the Kyoto train station "I'm glad that Konoka-chan's first kiss was with a man like yourself."

"Oh great! Does EVERYONE know?!" Kuwabara griped, gripping his head furiously as he tried to force down the memory of the embarassing conversation with Eishun "It was an accident alright! I didn't mean-!"

"I understand that," Tsuruko assured him with a smile, before nodding down the platform to where a small figure was being tossed through the air "Now you'd best hurry back to your students, Negi-kun looks like he need rescuing about now."

Kuwabara chuckled at Negi's nasty habit of attracting trouble of the female kind, and was about to walk off, when he felt a hand on his sleeve, looking back to find Tsuruko looking at him solemnly. "Kuwabara-kun…" the woman uttered, her tone soft "I would ask a favor of you…" she looked away, placing a hand to her chest "Please…look out for Konoka-chan…keep her safe."

"Uh…sure?" Kuwabara replied, looking shocked, and a little confused, at the woman's request "But I don't see what you need ta worry about," he assured her "th' dissenters were all rounded up, n' Sakurazaki's sticking ta her like glue." He grinned and flexed a muscle "But don't you worry none, Negi n' I've got her back!"

"Thank you," Tsuruko offered, stepping over and placing a chaste kiss on the stunned Tantei's cheek, smiling at his expression before walking off, leaving the man to be swamped by his students, the shrieking horde demanding to know the identity of his 'Kyoto Beauty' as she took her leave in the confusion, blending in with the crowd.

'After all', the demon sword noted, as she watched Konoka board the train, arm-in-arm with a blushing Setsuna 'it IS a mother's prerogative to ensure that her daughter was well looked after,' she smiled sadly as the girl disappeared into the train 'even if she cannot do so herself.'

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And with that, the Kyoto-trip arc has drawn to a close. Which means I can start building up to the Mahora fest arc.

No, I do NOT intend to have Kuwabara go with Negi to the Magical world, Koenma wouldn't let him anyways, so things may get a bit different later.

Though the idea of Kuwabara versus Rakan makes me drool bullets.

But first, some answers to obvious plothole questions.

1. Yes, Negi and the girls went to Nagi's house while Kuwabara was off finishing things with Toguro. i didn't write it in because it wasn't that different, only Chachamaru and Eva were missing.

2. No I'm not gonna tell you Toguro's fighting style. I'll let that be a surprise for later.

Now that that's said, play the Nadesico music!

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Narrator: Alas! Parting is such sweet sorrow!

Eishun: Tsu-chan?! WHY?!

Narrator: The triumphant heros returns to their castle!

Eva: Where's my present?

Narrator: But what's this?! A new contender for our heroe's love has arrived!

Ayaka: Keep away from Negi-sensei you skank!

Yue: (deadpan) I think he means Kuwabara-sensei...

Narrator: Truly Kuwabara, you are in the springtime of your Youth!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabra: Sparking! An old spark reignites?

?: Who the heck is this pervert?!

R&R or no more highschool antics for you!

To Sketchfan: It begins brother...Kukukukukukuku...

* * *


	31. Chapter 31

And so the build up to Mahora fest begins, and a new player is added to the field as well.

Potential pairing? You sure as hell won't find out just reading the foreword!

_HEAVEN OR HELL?_

_LET'S RAWK!_

* * *

31st period.

"Tadaima…" Kuwabara called out, still groggy from the train ride back from Kyoto, dumping his bags in the foyer of the cottage he shared with Eva and Chachamaru, noting from the clock that he had about six hours to sleep before work tomorrow 'And on a weekend too…Damn.'

"Hn, welcome back," Eva noted, looking up from her tea and quirking an eyebrow at the exhausted tantei, noting his aura had changed since his departure. Not that it had diminished any, if anything it had grown almost twice as much, but the way it flowed was a lot more contained than when he'd first arrived, like he'd finally stopped letting it run rampant through his system, even with those shackles on.

"Good evening, sensei." Chachamaru called out, dressed up in what to the tantei's shock looked like a lolita maid outfit, which caused Kuwabara to curse his years as a delinquent, and Yusuke's habit of hoarding porn in his room where Keiko couldn't find it, once again "Was the trip relaxing?"

"Oh yeah, fine." Kuwabara muttered, pulling out a bag of souvenirs, a carved cat and some Kyoto tea from the elder, and handing them to the gynoid 'If you count battling renegade mages, oni hordes and training in HELL as relaxing.' He muttered to himself, though he kept his features blank as Chachamaru accepted the gifts with a smile.

"Hoh? Sounds like I missed quite the party." Evangeline noted, smirking at the tantei over the rim of her cup when he blinked at her in confusion "The majority of my powers may be sealed sensei," she reminded him "but telepathy is a natural gift of a vampire, and not so easily curtailed."

"Don't you know it's rude to go peeping round in people's heads, Eva-chan?" Kuwabara muttered, earning a wry smirk from the lolita which made the hair on the back of his neck stand up like a cat's hackles.

"That's funny…coming from the one who went joy-riding through MY memories with the brat not too long ago." The vampire noted, smirking at Kuwabara's embarrassed flush "Hoh? Liked what you saw did you?" she scoffed confidently "Well I can't blame you, I WAS a sight to behold in those days."

"Yeah…I don't think I've seen anyone lose to leek and onion soup before." Kuwabara quipped back, smirking at the look of indignation on the vampire's face, Sayo giggling innocently from over his shoulder at how easily the tables had been turned.

"Feh…touché sensei." Evangeline muttered, only to blink at the sight of his face and quirk an eyebrow "Hoh? It seems someone made an impression on someone," she tilted her head at his cheek "a little Kyoto magic, Sensei?"

Kuwabara blinked, wondering what the lolita was on about, until Chachamaru pointed to his cheek, the tantei rubbing it, eyes widening in horror as he found the lipstick that came off on his fingers, blushing at the memory of Tsuruko's parting gift.

"Sensei? Your facial temperature has gone up ten degrees." Chachamaru informed the stammering tantei helpfully, even as her master's cackles echoed around them and Sayo turned an interesting shade of pink.

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"Goddammit..." Kuwabara muttered, walking through the halls of the academy, his face red with mortification, and from scrubbing Tsuruko's parting gift away with decidedly more vigor than was necessary "That explains the odd looks I was getting in the station…probably thought I was some kinda freak."

He sighed, shaking his head at the memory, trudging through the halls with the occasional mutter. At the very least it was a Sunday, so there was no fear of bumping into the denizens of 3A in the halls. It was almost amusing really, as bizarre as his class was, though bizarre really didn't cut it at times, they were at least regular students in the fact they didn't come near the school if they didn't have to.

"Ah, Kuwabara-kun." A familiar voice called out, the lanky professor turning from the staff room door to find a beaming Shizuna-sensei and Touko-sensei coming down the hall "Just the person I wanted to see! The Dean wants to speak with you."

'CRAP!' Kuwabara yelped, wondering if the old man had caught wind of the 'incident' in Kyoto, idly wondering if throwing himself out the window would hurt less than having an elder mage hurling spells at him, only for Touko-sensei to seize his arm, firmly but politely, and guide him down the hallway with them towards Konoemon's office before he could put his plans into action.

"Ah, Kuwabara-kun." The dean greeted, his tone amiable and unthreatening, putting the tantei at ease slightly, though it could all be just an act whilst the ladies were in the room, or Shizuna-sensei anyways, as he had no doubts Touko Sensei was part of the 'magic club' as well "Right on time, there's something I'd like to discuss with you…"

"It wasn't my fault!" Kuwabara insisted, throwing his arms in the air and waving them for all he was worth "There was this kid, and some huge-ass demon, and a bunch of really weird…" he trailed off at the Dean's bemused chuckling.

"Hohoho…I already know about THAT Kuwabara-kun." Konoemon assured the panicked young man with a twinkle in his eyes "Eishun contacted me the minute things settled down back in Kyoto." His eyes danced beneath his owlish eyebrows, a kind smile beneath his moustache "To be truthful I'm glad it was you, but that isn't the reason I summoned you here."

Kuwabara, still a little nervous, let out a sigh of relief and slumped his shoulders, a tremendous weight lifting from his shoulders in the assurance he wasn't about to be turned into a frog…or ermine as the case may be.

"You remember Tendo-sensei I presume?" Konoemon asked, watching the man's attention snap back into focus at the name, Touko-sensei's stern frown becoming slightly colder and Shizuna's impecable smile faltering for a brief second "Well regrettably, her dismissal left us without a physical instructor for some time," the old man sighed "and with how hectic things have been I couldn't get round to arranging a replacement." He chuckled good naturedly, turning to nod at Kuwabara "However, with the school trip out of the way, I'm happy to say I replacement has been found, and I'd like you to serve as her advisor."

"Me?" Kuwabara stammered, pointing at himself in confusion "But…wouldn't one of the others, like Shizuna-san, Touko-san or Takamichi be better?" he insisted, waving a hand at the ladies in question "I mean I've only been at this for a year at best!"

"That you have." Konoemon admitted, nodding in agreement with the tantei's statement as he paced behind his desk, stroking his beard in thought "However, I believe you're the best choice, seeing as you know her."

Kuwabara blinked, wondering what on earth the old codger was on about, only to look up as Shizuna answered a knock on the door, admitting a tall, though not as tall as Kuwabara, brunette into the room, her hair done up in a ponytail. "Ah," Konoemon greeted amicably "right on time, Kino-kun."

'Kino?' Kuwabara wondered, blinking as the name struck a cord somewhere in the back of his head, his brow furrowing in thought as he placed a finger to his forehead 'Waitaminute…wasn't there this one…'

"Kuwabara?" the brunette exclaimed, her eyes widening in surprise as she stared at the tantei in shock, a smile forming on her face as he snapped out of his daze to gape at her "Is that really you? Small world!"

"Kino…Makoto?" Kuwabara stammered, looking the tall woman over, finally piecing her face to that of one of his fellow Todai graduates, one that had majored in Home Economics and Sports Science.

"Man it's been ages!" Makoto exclaimed, walking over and embracing the startled man, earning a quirked eyebrow from Touko-sensei and a reserved titter from Shizuna, who looked decidedly amused at how flustered the man looked "How you been you big lug?"

"Er…fine?" Kuwabara stammered, more than a little shocked at Makoto's forwardness, though she'd always been a friendly girl, before pushing her back gently, hands on her shoulders as he got a good lokm at her "But forget that, what're you doing here?"

"Same reason you are I suppose." Makoto replied with a smirk, her hands on her hips as she took a good look at him "Least your fashion sense has improved," she noted with approval "you ditched the pompadour?"

"Didn't have a choice." Kuwabara grumbled, rubbing his hands through his hair, missing Touko-sensei's eyes widen, the reserved woman mouthing the word 'Pompadour?!' at Shizuna, who merely tittered harder.

"Well now." Konoemon called out, inwardly suppressing a chuckle at the scene before him, Touko-sensei always was a sight when shaken after all, "As I was saying, Kuwabara-kun, I want you to show Kino-kun the ropes for the first week or so." He nodded at the two, who promptly seperated and stood to attention "After all, adjusting to Mahora can be quite taxing." he smiled at the tantei "Wouldn't you agree Kuwabara-kun?"

'Now there's the understatement of the year.' Kuwabara deadpanned, a sly smirk on his face as he looked off to the side, Makoto looking between the tantei and the dean in confusion.

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"So you've been here for a year already?" Makoto wondered aloud, looking surprised at her fellow Todai graduate's revelation. The two of them had walked out of the Dean's office together, Konoemon insisting that Kuwabara show her around the main campus before classes. After all, covering ALL of Mahora would take about a week.

"Yup." Kuwabara admitted, walking with one hand in his pocket, the other holding his attaché case, a file-block stashed under one arm for the first class of the day "Man…can't believe it's been that long…" he snorted "guess that'd make me your-!" He trailed off sharply, shooting the brunette a concerned look, only to see her smile reassuringly.

"It's alright Kuwabara." Makoto assured the man, her smile gentle, though it didn't quite reach her eyes as she walked alongside him "I've…gotten over it." she sighed, looking up at the sky with a distant smile.

Kuwabara said nothing, but was internally berating himself for the slip, keeping an eye on the woman as they walked along. "How's Mizuno-san doing?" he asked, desperate to change the topic and honestly interested in how the shy bookworm was doing. She'd been a big help whilst cramming for the Todai exams, even though she was on a completely different course.

"Ami-chan? Oh she's doing great!" Makoto insisted, a wide, true smile on her face at the mention of her friend "She graduated with honors of course, and got into one of the top medical universities, she's aiming for a full doctors degree!"

"Knowing Mizuno-san she'll do fine." Kuwabara insisted, nodding confidently as they walked along, waving in greeting at a few students who called out to him, turning down an offer to play volleyball with a chuckle "And what about the other two?"

"Rei-chan had to move back to look after her family's temple." Makoto replied, referring to her fellow brunette, who if Kuwabara recalled right, wasn't exactly too fond of men, "But she's taking a correspondence course in law, I think she gets her degree later this year. And Minako-chan finished her degree in…"

Kuwabara smiled, watching the brunette natter on about her friends lives, glad that the earlier fumble was covered over.

He'd first met Kino Makoto at Tokyo University, where apparently she and a few of her friends had enrolled at the same time. The two of them had actually shared a dorm block, if not a room, with one another, it being better than having to commute every day, though they'd been ignorant of each other's existence until about halfway through their first year.

The first time the two had actually met in person had been at an on-campus grocery store. Kuwabara had stepped out for some take-out, as he wasn't in the mood for cup-ramen, and was heading back to the dorm with a bag of Chinese when he came across some would-be yakuza dropouts harassing a girl with short blue hair just outside the campus 7-11. Being the gentleman he was, Kuwabara had introduced himself by kicking the apparent leader upside the head, only to blink as a tall brunette with an equally surprised expression seemed to have the same idea, the two kicks sending the thug ass over elbow into a cigarette dispenser.

The resulting brawl had been mercilessly brutal, but Kuwabara had enough sense to pull his punches, so the worst the thugs had to worry about were the months before they could eat solids again. Afterwards Makoto, after checking on her bluenette friend, had thanked him for the assist, a grin on her face that was oddly infectious, the three of them beating feet back to the dorms as a downpour broke out, only to find they were bunking right next door to one another. Needless to say, there wasn't any leftover Chow Mein that night.

While they hadn't been close at first, they were on different courses after all, Makoto was the type that liked to get to know her neighbors, and Kuwabara probably would've been forced to live off take-out and cup-ramen for the duration of his stay at Todai where it not for the brunette popping over in the morning and evenings with leftovers and bento, occasionally dragging her friends, the Bluenette, Mizuno Ami, a raven haired beauty called Hino Rei, and a bubbly blonde called Aino Minako, over for cram sessions, as Kuwabara was the only one of them that had brought a kotatsu for the winter, and the central heating for the building was always on the fritz.

"We sure did have a blast in those days." Makoto sighed, recalling the exact same thing as the tantei as they walked along "Even Rei-chan didn't seemed to mind you after the first semester or so, and that's saying something!"

"I'll take your word for it." Kuwabara chuckled, recalling his first meeting with the fiery tempered law student. Apparently she'd never truly trusted men because of her father, and a string of bad boyfriends had apparently done the rest to jade her opinion of the opposite sex for some time. It wasn't until THAT incident that she'd warmed up to Kuwabara, at least enough that she didn't feel the need to have her pepper spray out in the open when she came to visit.

"So did they mention where you'd be staying?" he asked offhandedly, shaking his head as he tried to put the memory of THAT incident out of his thoughts, as the less he kept fretting about it the better.

"Oh the Dean said he was putting me up somewhere on campus." Makoto assured him, rifling through the file Shizuna had given her "Apparently it's this cute little cottage near the woods…Kuwabara?"

Kuwabara gaped at the woman, his eyes widening with a hint of dread at her words, slowly turning to looked at the picture of Eva's cottage she held in her hands, before promptly looking up at the sky and weeping.

"Why?"

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Koenma gripped the sides of his chair as an earthquake shook the entire building, only the sheer weight of the stacks of paper keeping them on his desk, much to his combined ire and relief. George, who had come in with another load, promptly threw them in the air and raced for the doorway, bracing himself in it with a yelp of terror. "Koenma-sama!" the ogre cried out, his voice laced with terror, as usual, as he looked to the pacifier sucking deity for help "What's going on?!"

"How the hell should I know?!" The currently teenage monarch snapped, trying to remain upright in his chair, whilst simultaneously resisting the urge to revert to his toddler form from the shock. "This is almost like one of Dad's tantrums! But those NEVER affected us like this!"

"Sir." Ayame called out, materializing out of thin air on her oar, as calm as can be as she lowered herself to the floor "Nothing to worry about, apparently the higher ups are simply in a rather jovial mood."

"Oh boy…" Koenma muttered, shaking his head in pity at whichever poor sap the various pantheons were currently toying with in their boredom. Whoever it was apparently garnered as much amusement as that Saotome Ranma fellow, if the resulting mirth could rock the very foundations of reikai itself.

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Saotome Ranma sneezed, looking up in confusion from his perch atop the training posts in his backyard, where he'd been meditating. He didn't know how or why, but he had the strangest sensation that someone had challenged him somehow.

But that was impossible, no one knew where he was, as if anyone could locate his dojo, hidden deep within the Musk territories where no Amazon dared to tread, and he'd long since made peace with his various rivals over the years. One of them, Herb, Dragon Prince of the Musk and fellow Nyanichuan victim, had adopted him into the Musk as a fellow warrior, with no strings attached, other than the occasional spar with the monarch whenever they had the time.

'Must be getting paranoid.' The martial artist muttered, leaping off the pole, his ever present ponytail tapping between his shoulder-blades as he landed, leaning casually out of the path of a flying kick from the rear.

"Otou-san!" a ten year old redhead cheered, dressed in Maoist clothes, her hair done up in cute plaits as she sank into a ready stance, one hand extended towards him, the other in a fist near her skull "You promised you'd spar with me!"

"That I did." Ranma chuckled, striking out quickly and catching a second assailant out of thin air, hurling him onto the ground with a snort "You too, Tatsu?"

The large teen grumbled, but rose to his feet with fluid grace that belied his size, sinking into a stance that was notably different from the redhead's, his eyes watching Ranma's every move. "Yare-yare…and here I thought I'd escaped." Ranma chuckled, before motioning them to advance "Come on then!"

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'I swear ta whichever kami's listening that someone up there must be against me.' Kuwabara muttered, as he lead the way through the woods towards Eva's cottage 'Either that or the old man thinks he's some sorta matchmaker...and personally I'm leaning more towards the latter.'

"Looks like we're roomies huh?" Makoto noted offhandedly, grinning at the look of distress on the man's face and putting a hand on her hip to glare at him in mock anger "What? Am I that repulsive?"

"Not at all!" Kuwabara stammered, looking alarmed that she'd think so, only to calm down as he saw the amusement in her eyes "It's just…well, people talk…" he frowned as Asakura's grinning face appeared in his mind, her camera at the ready "And Mahora's got it's own paparazzi."

"Let 'em talk." Makoto scoffed, slinging her suitcase over her shoulder in a away that drew attention to her breasts beneath her blouse, much to Kuwabara's consternation "Hell it'd be pretty boring round here without a little spice in the works!"

"Spice…right…" Kuwabara muttered, shaking his head and praying to high heaven that Evangeline was in a semi-pleasant mood. The high-daylight walker had been abed with hay fever again, so her mood could be anywhere between annoyed and murderous right now, and he really didn't feel liked having to play human shield, sealed powers or not.

He looked up however, as the sound of feminine screams tore through the evening air, the inside of the usually sedate cottage rattling with the telltale sounds of a catfight, complete with the occasional feline snarl and the sounds of breaking china.

"What in th' Hey?!" the tantei stammered, opening the door just in time to receive a shoe to the face, standing their stolidly as the article of footwear slid to the floor, glaring inside the cottage at the perpetrators, noting with surprise that Negi and Asuna had apparently stopped by for a visit.

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"Another free-loader?" Eva huffed, Chachamaru having seen Negi and Asuna off, the redhead still red in the face from nailing Kuwabara with her size 10 and a halves "Does the old fart think I'm running an inn or something?"

"Watch it!" Kuwabara hissed, looking over his shoulder, sighing in relief as he watched Chachamaru lead Makoto up the stairs to one of the spare bedrooms "Makoto doesn't know about magic or any of that stuff! And I don't know about you but I don't feel like joining the furry club any time soon!"

"Feh, they won't do anything to me." Evangeline muttered confidently, waving a hand in dismissal, "I'm already stuck in this high school hell after all." She shot him a knowing look "And I'll bet they'll have a hard time pinning anything on you anyways."

Kuwabara said nothing, but he didn't miss the knowing glint in the vampire's eyes. Sometimes it was easy to forget she was even older than Genkai, what with her form being that of a child's, but it was moments like these, when the weight of her accumulated wisdom was looking him in the face, that Kuwabara couldn't help but feel inferior in some way. Like a child trying to tell off an adult ten times more experienced.

"Thanks for the tea by the way." Evangeline added as an afterthought, sipping the Kyoto blend with a sigh "Nice of Eishun to remember my hay fever, say what you like about him, he was one of the few decent ones Nagi hung out with…if a bit of a prude."

Kuwabara snorted at that, recalling the random incidents at the onsen when he and the elder had been walked in on by either the denizens of 3A or the seemingly endless amount of priestesses that served the temple, and left the vampire lolita to her tea, ruffling her hair daringly, only to receive a swat to the wrist and a glare for his trouble.

'Time enough ta worry about tomorrow when it happens.' he reasoned,helping Makoto carry her things up the stairs to the bedroom that had been prepared for her by Chachamaru 'Right now all Iwanna do is get some sleep.'

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Evangeline scowled at the tantei as he climbed the stairs, a light blush adorning her cheeks from having her hair ruffled so familiarly. One the one hand it was embarrassing to be treated like a child, when by all rights she was possibly the oldest living, for lack of a better term, being on the planet. But on the other, the feeling of acceptance and warmth that came with the gesture sent a guilty thrill through the part of her that had long since been starved for attention.

'Then there's the OTHER benefit of keeping him around.' She admitted, looking down at her legs with a small smirk. Though barely noticeable, she had begun to outgrow her nightdresses, a clear sign that her body, long since frozen in a prepubescent state, was beginning to develop.

There was no precedent for this happening before, by all rights, having attained High Daylight Walker status, her body should have been firmly rooted into its form, a template for which her advanced regenerative powers could restore any damage incurred. But drinking a few cups worth of Kuwabara's blood, at least half a cup a day, had nonetheless caused a series of small growth spurts, so much so that she already had to send Chachamaru to covertly acquire a larger set of school shoes.

Evangeline was determined to keep these findings secret, it wouldn't do, after all, for Konoemon to catch wind of them and put a stop to her plans before they were put into action. And Kuwabara didn't really miss that much blood anyways, as Chachamaru could be quite silent when she worked, quiet enough to slip past a certain friendly ghost, and the gynoid's lack of discernable aura meant there was no fear of alerting the tantei to their goings on.

Admittedly, having a new roommate could complicate things, especially if Evangeline's suspicions about the apparently mundane Miss Kino bore any fruit, but Chachamaru could outwait anyone, and Evangeline wasn't exactly in a hurry either.

'Just you wait, Nagi.' She chuckled, looking down at her teacup, where the face of the thousand master could be briefly seen 'Your little barrier won't hold me here for much longer.' She chuckled to herself 'Hm…I wonder if the graduation ceremonies are as fun as they look?'

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Start the Nadesico music!

Narrator: A new term begins! Bringing with it chances of new encounters!

Makoto: KYAAH!

Kuwabara: DAH-HA?!

Narrator: But time rests not for the wicked, and our hero must strive to protect his rosy highschool life!

Kuwabara: I'm not a highschooler anymore dammit!

Narrator: And what's this?! Could Negi actually have made his choice?!

Ayaka: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Next time on Reikai sensei Kuwabara: STRIKE! My heart shall not rest in the gutter!

Ku Fei: What crazy man talk about, aru?

For those of you with questions, send them in your reviews!

To Sketch Fan: Here goes everything!

* * *


	32. Chapter 32

Well I think it's time we initiate Mako-chan to the crazinessof Mahora and the Akumatsu-verse as a whole, don't you?

And we ALL know what that means...kukukukuku...

_HEAVEN OR HELL?_

_LET'S RAWK!!!_

* * *

32nd period.

Makoto yawned, switching off her alarm clock before it had finished its first ring, not wanting to annoy anyone by letting it carry one. Stretching, the brunette promptly climbed out of the deliciously soft bed, grabbing her bath things before making for the bathroom, mumbling to herself in her morning funk.

'Least the floors aren't too cold.' She noted, wondering how exactly you could heat up a hardwood floor, before shrugging it off and slipping into the bathroom and out of her pajamas, so out of it she didn't even hear the water running until she pulled the curtain back, a wave of steam snapping her instantly awake.

Kuwabara, who'd been enjoying a nice morning shower, confident in the fact that Chachamaru was downstairs cooking breakfast and Evangeline was staying home with her fever, could only stand there like a statue as he gaped at his roommate, the two of them too stunned by what was going on to even react, his fingers frozen in the act of rinsing his hair.

Makoto stared at the man she and her friends had come to see as a friend at Todai, someone they could trust because, despite his features, he had never looked at them in a way that set their guard up. He'd actually been more of a gentleman than anyone they'd ever met, so much so that Rei had actually hypothesized he batted for the other team, though she hadn't meant anything by it, probably.

Now though, as the brunette's gaze traveled ever so slowly downwards, eyes widening alarmingly at the sight before her, she felt herself hoping that, for once, Rei's predictions turned out to be a load of crock like Usagi always insisted they were.

"Sensei?" Chachamaru called out from the door, the two adults snapping back to reality, whipping round to espy the gynoid standing there with several freshly pressed towels in her arms "I forgot to replace the old ones," she offered plainly, as if the sight of two naked faculty members didn't faze her in the slightest "I hope I didn't inconvenience you."

"Not a problem!" Kuwabara assured the gynoid, whipping the shower curtain back to cover his shame, pointedly looking everywhere but at the flushing Makoto, who'd grabbed one of the towels and wrapped herself in it hurriedly with a choked 'thank you'.

"Very well," Chachamaru offered, bowing slightly with her usual impassive stare, though it seemed to rest on Makoto's bust line for a few seconds "Breakfast shall be ready in a few minutes, will you have coffee or tea?"

"Coffee." Both adults muttered, looking at each other and blushing as they realized they'd spoken in tandem, even as Chachamaru excused herself with a bow.

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"I should set up cameras." Evangeline snorted, listening as Kuwabara stampeded out of the bathroom to the safety of his room, screaming apologies the entire way despite Makoto doing the same "I'd make a killing on Mahotube."

"Master…" Chachamaru uttered, looking at the dark evangel worriedly as she continued to cackle silently into her tea. In truth the gynoid had felt a little concerned for their roommate, as her senses had detected faint whispers of magic about the brunette, hidden but nonetheless tangible enough to set off her warning systems "Kino-san could be…"

"A mage, right?" Evangeline muttered, cutting the gynoid off with a smug look "I'm not so out of practice that I can't recognize someone with a magical aura, even if they're concealing it." She sipped her tea "Still, either she's the worlds best actress, or Konoe didn't bother telling her who she was bunking with…otherwise she'd have pegged me for what I am from the start."

Chachamaru said nothing, as her master had covered several key points already, but resolved to keep a tighter watch on the Kino-sensei while they were at home. If it turned out she was a threat to the master, as the undying magi was still a notorious figure, even with her bounty revoked, then she would be removed immediately.

Until then however, the gynoid played the perfect host, and saw to it that the woman's eggs were set out for her by the time she stumbled down the stairs, doing her merry best to avoid looking at an equally mortified Kuwabara.

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'Dammit, did someone curse me to keep getting peeked on in baths?' Kuwabara muttered, trudging alongside the girls as he lead the way to the campus, Evangeline sending him smirks over her shoulder while Chachamaru conversed with Makoto about school life, the brunette flushing whenever he looked back at her 'I swear, does Negi get into these…oh wait…'

Shaking his head at the younger sensei's plight, chuckling guiltily, as at least HE didn't have half the damn campus after him, the Tantei led the way to the classroom, dropping Evangeline and Chachamaru off before leading Makoto to the staffroom, leaving Evangeline scowling after them as he ruffled the vampire's hair.

"You two get along well." Makoto chuckled, looking at Kuwabara with an amused smile, having pushed the incident from the morning behind her, or at least to that part of her mind that was still a teenager to savor it for later gossip material "She the sister you kept talking about?"

"Naw, Shizuru-ne's my older sister, she runs a hair salon down in Juuban." Kuwabara admitted, titling his head over his shoulder at the scowling vampire loli "The dean set me up in Eva-chan's cottage, probably to keep an eye on her."

"No way! You're sister runs that salon on the main street?" Makoto asked, looking up at the lanky professor in abject surprise, a wide smile spreading across her face "My friends and I used to go there all the time!"

"Small world ain't it?" Kuwabara chuckled, opening the door to the staff room and letting the brunette in first, only to curse as his radar went off "Crap! I gotta be somewhere! Nita-san! Just leave my stuff on my desk!"

Makoto blinked, watching as Kuwabara hauled ass down the hallway at speeds that would've made him the envy of any high school track team, dust kicking up in his wake, only to blink as someone patted her on the shoulder.

"That's Kuwabara-san for you," Seruhiko chuckled, the bishounen sensei shaking his head at the taller man's antics "Always dashing off to parts unknown, but he still manages to hold down the classes here."

"Unlike SOME people." Nita pointed out, looming behind the bishounen, his glasses shining dangerously "Like a certain pretty-boy sensei that STILL hasn't handed in his report from the last budget meeting."

'Weird group.' Makoto noted, watching as Seruhiko backed into a corner, weeping pitiably under the glare of the 'Mahora Oni', which could even impress Evangeline, a smile crossing her features as Shizuna helped her to her desk 'Still, it's a new start!'

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"Seriously, I go away for a few days and you bastards think it's open season?" Kuwabara muttered, grinding his foot into the head of a scalper demon that'd been pedaling contraband behind the campus 7-11. Luckily none of his clients had purchased anything fatal for human consumption, but there'd been reports of people passing out in the streets, stoned out of their minds and screaming about spiders and pink elephants...those that were coherent anyways.

"Just tryin' to make a livin' guv." The scalper muttered, giving virtually no form of resistance, his hands held behind his head in a classic police submission pose "I'm not hurtin' anyone neither, the stuff actually removes toxins from the body…though the rush can be a bit rough for newbies."

"Which is why you're not gettin' a reiki blade shoved up your ass." Kuwabara pointed out, his scowl decidedly less severe than normal "Though you'll probably wish I did once Hiei's through with you."

"Meh, I had a good run." The scalper allotted, shrugging offhandedly, which was imnpressive, considering Kuwabara was still grinding his head into the asphalt "And the worst he'll do is cut off a few fingers, those'll grow back in no time."

"Just don't go selling contraband here again." Kuwabara muttered, lifting his foot of the convict as a portal to Makai opened up, two swarthy ogres standing there with fearsome expressions, though they bowed politely to Kuwabara when they saw him, dragging the vagrant off for his punishment. The tantei watched as the portal shut, before sighing and rubbing the back of his neck, wondering just what the hell the world was coming to, before heading back to the campus. He wasn't slated to teach 3-A today but there were other classes that needed his attention, the only saving grace being they weren't a three ring circus like 3-A, so he could expect a nice break of normality for a while.

"Mornin' class!" he called out, smiling as the residents of 2A stood to attention, nodding to them with a smile as he turned to the board "Right, last time we said we'd do some experiments, so everyone pair up and stand by your desks."

He had to smile as the teens sorted amongst themselves, wondering if he and Urameshi'd ever been that eager to learn, before scoffing and shaking his head at the thought. The only thing Urameshi had learned in high school was how to drive educators up the wall and dodge the truancy officers. "Right," he called out, once the class had settled into groups of two, "Now we're going to be studying the effects of helium gas on a variety of sources," he shot a pink haired girl at the back a warning look "And Tsukino, that doesn't mean you can inhale the stuff to make your voice squeaky again."

"But sensei!" the pinkette complained, her bubblegum pink hair done up in what looked like pointy odango, or snow cones, her bright blue eyes wide in the traditional kiddy pout "That takes all the fun out of it!"

"Fun for you maybe." Kuwabara muttered, quirking an eyebrow as the class chuckled in amusement at the girl's antics "But then YOU didn't have to sit through a lecture from Nita-sensei about misusing dangerous materials."

The class, as one, shuddered at the mention of Nita, as many of them had heard the tales about him from their sempai during assemblies and whatnot. Even Tsukino looked decidedly uncomfortable at the mention, and stepped closer to her lab partner, one Tomoe Hotaru, out of sudden fear, lest the Mahora Oni apparate through the walls to see if there were any bad children.

'He's like Namahage or somethin'' Kuwabara chuckled, recalling how Seruhiko had admitted to starting most of the rumours around the campus, a guilty thrill that Nita, fortunately, hadn't caught onto yet 'Oh well, so long as he keeps 'em in line I could care less.'

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Makoto smiled as she walked down the halls of the academy, waving at the cheerful students and fellow educators as she made her way to 2A to pick up the class for their P.E lesson. It was her first day, and she wanted to make as good as impression on as many people as possible, but so far all her other classes had been a breeze, though there had been a slight tiff between a group of girls from St. Ursula's, the high school section, and one of the other classes, but she'd sorted that out with a few sharp words and a glare that had cowed many a street thug back in her own high school days.

"Yosh, here goes." She muttered, taking a deep breath in the corridor, before clenching a fist and sliding the classroom door open, just as the bell rang "Yo, Kuwabara!" she greeted, pulling off a mock salute "I'm here to take the brats off your hands!"

"Right on time, Makoto-san." Kuwabara noted, having known from her aura that she was standing behind the door, before correcting himself with a slight smile "Or should I call you Kino-sensei now?"

"Mako-chan!" a voice from the back of the class called out, both teachers turning with surprise to see Tsukino Usa standing up on her desk with wide, sparkling eyes "You're our new gym teacher? COOL!"

"Chibi-usa?" Makoto stammered, surprise lining her features as she looked over the future daughter of one of her closest friends in shock, earning a confused look from Kuwabara for her familiarity with the class prankster "What…when did you enroll here?"

"Ru-chan and I started here when you guys went off to college!" Chibi-Usa replied with a smile, drawing Makoto's attention to her shy, purple eyed classmate, who bowed in greeting towards her fellow senshi "didn't mo…I mean, Usagi, tell you?"

"No she didn't." Makoto admitted, the two of them shaking their heads at their best friend/future mother's forgetfulness, before the brunette straightened up and pumped a fist "Alright then, let's head on outside!"

The class cheered, waving farewell to a smiling Kuwabara, before following after the energetic Kino-sensei, who shot the science teacher a farewell wave as she left the class.

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"Well…she's in high spirits." Kuwabara chuckled, shaking his head as he watched the class file out eagerly, wanting to escape the evils of chemistry for the wonders of the sports field "I don't know who's more eager, her or the students."

Shaking his head, the tantei noted that, as the last of his scheduled classes of the day, having taken them for biology and physics as well, he was basically free the rest of the evening. With a glance at his watch, he decided to grab an early lunch and made his way to the cafeteria, nodding at the greetings sent his way from staff and student alike. It wasn't until he was walking by one of the connecting windows that he espied Ku Fei and Negi walking along, apparently deep in conversation.

'Probably just lecturing her on something…' he muttered offhandedly 'she IS a member of the Baka Rangers after all.' He chuckled at the groups moniker, and would have gone on his way were it not for the sight of several other members of the class trailing behind them 'Uh oh…what's Negi-bozu gotten himself into this time?'

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"Wow! Another perfect strike!" Yuna cheered, watching as Ku Fei decimated the pins with a skill that put professional bowlers to shame. It certainly made you want to pity the poor, inanimate lumps of painted wood.

"Is easy-aru." Ku replied with her usual modesty, rubbing her yellow hair in embarrassment "Except for studying, I is having no weaknesses-hm?" she looked around as a surge of killing intent flared, only to find Ayaka looking the other way "Hoo, sense strong Ki-aru, must be imagination…" she blinked as a familiar face walked through the door "Aiyah! Kuwabara-sensei!"

"Yo." Kuwabara greeted, smiling at the sight of over half of the 3A denizens loitering about the bowling alley, either cheering or bowling themselves, the tantei nodding at Negi as the welsh youth waved at him "Treating the girls to a night out bozu?"

"Actually," Asuna cut in, sighing in disbelief as Negi blubbered in embarrassment at the older educator's teasing insinuation "Konoka, Setsuna and I invited him and Ku Fei to go bowling…" she shot Ayaka a look "Class-Rep found out and dragged the rest of them along."

"Ah well, the more the merrier." Kuwabara chuckled, shaking his head in bemusement at the younger sensei's plight "kid should know better to be walking alone with a member of your class huh? Even if it is a fellow Baka ranger."

"Who are you calling a baka?!" Asuna hissed, hand slapping the air and pigtails levitating in her ire, her face a mask of embarrassment as she pulled out a sheaf of test papers and held them out before her like a riot shield "I'll have you know my scores have gone up 10%!"

"So she's scoring about 13% now." Konoka giggled, earning a reproachful glare from Asuna, who's shoulders slumped in defeat, a bell tolling over her head. Kuwabara chuckled at the sight, honestly amused that the hyperactive 3A could act normally for a change, looking up just in time to espy Nodoka having trouble with her game.

The poor girl seemed to be struggling to LIFT her ball, which even from here the tantei could tell was too heavy for her, and her face as the thing rolled neatly into the gutter was heart wrenching. "Need some help?" he asked, startling the shy bookworm as he sidled up behind her, rifling through the assorted balls with a knowing look "Lemme give you a few tips, I'm an old pro at this."

"A-arigatou." Nodoka stammered, bowing in thanks while Yue and Haruna looked on from the side, the manga-ka's eyes glinting mischievously as her devious mind put the situation into different perspectives not suited for this fiction rating.

"Right first off, lets find a ball you can actually hold with one hand." Kuwabara chuckled, earning an embarrassed flush from the girl "Ain't nothing ta be ashamed about, but someone with a smaller build needs ta stick to th' smaller ones and work their way up gradually." He leant in close "Just between you an' me, th' smaller ones tend ta be easier ta direct too."

Nodoka giggled, watching as Makie 'accidentally' dropped her ball, nearly nailing Ayaka on the foot, for which the Class Rep rightfully believed was foul play. She accepted a smaller ball from her science teacher, noting with relief it WAS easier to handle than the larger ones she'd tried, only to blink as he sidled up behind her, a hand on her own.

"Now don't just toss the thing." Kuwabara instructed, unaware of how embarrassed the shy girl looked as he guided her hand in a gentle swinging motion, "try to keep your hand straight but loose, the better to release the ball."

"You sure know a lot about ball handling sensei." Haruna called out, drawing a few shocked stares from the surrounding class, as they didn't miss the play on words she'd used "You thinking about giving lessons?"

"URUSEI!" Kuwabara snapped, startling Nodoka so much she released the ball with a yelp, the sphere soaring down the aisle, barely touching the waxed floor, before crashing into the pins for a perfect strike.

"Way to go Honya-chan!" the cheerleaders cried out, somehow whipping their pompoms out of thin air in a celebratory dance, even as the class promptly broke out into cheers "Looks like Class Rep's got a new rival!"

"Well this is a surprise." A voice called out, Kuwabara looking round to espy Makoto walking up to them, dressed in a Mahora teacher's tracksuit, clearly on her way back from her last class "I come by to see if I can cool off with a quick game and I find a party in full swing."

"That's 3A for ya." Kuwabara replied with a shrug, titling his head towards the merry-goers with a helpless smile on his face, noting that at some point Negi had been swept off his feet once again, the group carrying him like a rocker at a concert "When they do something they don't do it by halves…cept maybe studying."

"Well excuse us!" came the embarrassed yell from several members of the group, most particularly the athletes and cheerleaders, as the Bakas, with the exception of Asuna, weren't all that concerned with their GPA in the first place, a small, controlled riot breaking out as they squabbled amongst themselves.

Makoto chuckled, watching the girls bicker amongst themselves, a catfight starting up, predictably, between Asuna and Ayaka, which Kuwabara was forced to interrupt by tearing them off one another. "Looks like you've got your hands full." She noted, nodding towards the near rioting group of teens as Ayaka challenged Makie, Ku Fei and Nodoka to a showdown "Think you can take your eyes off them for a quick game?"

"That a challenge?" Kuwabara asked, quirking an eyebrow as he caught the glint in the brunette's eyes, the two of them smirking at one another as he slipped out of his jacket and removed his tie, Motoko undoing her track top to reveal a 'Just do it!' T-shirt underneath.

"Best of one round wins." The brunette insisted, watching as their names were run up on a separate scoreboard, one hand on her hip, the other hoisting a decent sized green ball up in the air with little difficulty.

"Sounds good to me." Kuwabara muttered, dressed in his good shirt, the top buttons undone to let him breath, with the sleeves rolled up for mobility. So saying, he hoisted a large, orange ball up and nodded at his fellow instructor and Todai graduate "Ladies first."

"A gentleman as always." Motoko scoffed, before promptly sending the green ball down the aisle, decimating the unsuspecting pins with a perfect strike that earned whistles from the onlookers "Beat that!"

"Please." Kuwabara chuckled, rearing his arm back and HURLING his own ball down the aisle, sending pins flying in all directions as the 'STRIKE!' anthem played up again "You were saying?"

Makoto merely grinned at the challenge, reaching down and scooping up her ball as it reappeared, advancing on the next set of pins with a gleam in her eyes.

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"Hey check it out!" Kakizaki Misa cried out, looking away from the four-way challenge to win Negi-kun to espy the two educators going at it with equal, if not greater, fervor, drawing the rest of the group's attention.

"WHOA! Kino-sensei's stacked!" Kugimiya Madoka noted, the husky-voiced cheerleader's eyes widening with appreciation as she watched the older woman knock down another set of pins, her own bouncing lightly in the confines of the T-shirt.

"Look at Kuwabara-sensei go!" Sakurako cheered, watching the friendly science teacher decimate another set, the group flushing slightly as they realized his collar buttons were undone and sleeves rolled up, giving them a good peek at his own goods "Wow…he's been working out!"

"Understatement of the year much?" Misa chuckled, looking over the scene with a slight grin as she watched the educators battle it out "Man, those two are something else! Nothing but strikes every time!"

"Kukukuku…" came an insidious chuckle from behind, the group turning to find Saotome 'Paru' Haruna leering at the scene, pushing her glasses up in a manner oddly reminiscent of a certain ex-shinnigami captain "And here I thought it was just Negi-kun that could inspire such feelings…" he smile grew decidedly more sinister "But there's no doubt about it…I detect the telltale scent of the Love Reek!"

"Where in the hell do you get off saying those weird things?!" Asuna yelled from behind, a blush on her face as she resisted the urge to whip out her harisen and bean the perverted manga-ka. Though she had to admit, as she watched the grinning educators battling it out, the scene did look rather…energetic. 'NOO! Bad Asuna! Bad Asuna!' she yelled, gripping her head and slamming it into a bowling ball to clear it of Haruna's evil whispers 'You're not a pervert! You can't become like Class Rep!'

"Just what do you mean by that, Asuna-san?!" Ayaka demanded darkly, looming up from behind and pinching the redhead's cheeks as the latter realized, too late, that her inner voice had become an outer without noticing.

"Yare-yare, they're really going at it, de gozaru." Kaede noted with a chuckle, though whether she was referring to the battling sensei or the newly restarted catfight between Baka red and the class rep was anyone's guess.

"Kuwabara-sensei too-too strong aru!" Ku Fei admitted, watching the battle with interest, having already decimated her own challengers, though Nodoka had surprisingly managed to come in second, much to Ayaka's ire "And Kino Sensei too! Maybe I get good spar later aru?"

"Ku Fei-san." Negi called out, catching the martial-artists attention despite the growing volume of the group's cheers as they egged the combatants, older and younger, onwards "Can I talk to you in private for a moment?"

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"What a night…" Kuwabara muttered with an exhausted sigh, a slight ache to his shoulders from the marathon strike fest he'd gotten wrapped up in, as neither he nor Motoko had managed to utdo the other "After all that time only to tie..."

"We should do this again." Motoko agreed, her hair and tracksuit mussed up from exertion, a healthy glow on her cheeks as they trudged down the gravel path to the cottage "Maybe get a few of the others in, it was like old times."

"Yeah…" Kuwabara agreed, smiling fondly at the memory of those weekends when he, Motoko and a few of their college friends would spend the night on the town, either bowling up a storm or singing themselves hoarse at the campus karaoke bars.

"It was great bumping into you here." Makoto admitted, a wistful smile on her face as she walked along, letting the cool night air wash against her face "Did you ever manage to confess to that girl of yours?"

"Y-Yukina-chan?" Kuwabara stammered, recalling how he'd spilled the beans about his crush on the Koorime, if not her identity, to the group during one of their beer-runs "N-Naw…never found the right time…don't wanna scare her off y'know?"

"Right." Motoko chuckled, smiling wistfully as the orange haired man spouted off on his grand plans for confessing his love, watching his face with a kind smile, before sighing and shaking her head wistfully. 'Buck it up girl.' She ordered herself, walking along with her head high 'It was never anything special…he was just there when we needed him, like a real friend should be, that's all.'

It didn't stop her from shivering slightly at the memory of The Incident, the aftereffects of which had cemented the big lug's place in her life, and her friends', as someone they could trust.

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And that's as good as initiations go right?

Roll the Nadesico music!

Narrator: Oh Kuwabara! You ladies man you?

Kuwabara: Eh?

Narrator: Wooing your college sweetheart with a night on the town...

Kuwa/Mako: SWEETHEART?!?!?!

Narrator: But what of your beloved maiden of snow? Will you shatter her poor heart?

Kuwabara: I'D never hurt Yukina-chan!

Narrator: Oh the humanity! You womanizing dandy!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: LOVE! A bouqet for you my sweet!

Genkai: Who the hell are you and why the hell haven't I blasted you to pieces yet?

R&R!!!

* * *


	33. Chapter 33

Sadly for Makoto, it'll take more than a little hazing like that before she cn get used to Mahora...Hell Takamichi's been there for YEARs and he STILL hasn't gotten used to it.

Anyways, lets get this party started shall we?

_HEAVEN OR HELL?_

_LET'S RAWK!_

* * *

33rd period.

Kuwabara sat at the table, looking over the newspaper as he chomped away at a slice of buttered toast. It was a weekend, so there was little worry about classes, though he still made a note to check in on Negi and Konoka if he had the chance, the former out of concern for his fellow sensei, the other out of fear, and guilt, over what had happened in Kyoto, though Sakurazaki seemed to be sticking to her like glue so there was little fear of another kidnapping attempt.

He looked up as Makoto stumbled down the stairs, her hair and pajamas rumpled adorably as she tried to comb the tresses into her usual ponytail. "Mornin" he called out, earning a bleary yawn for his trouble "Rough night?"

"So stiff…" Makoto groaned, slumping onto the table bonelessly, eyeing him from beneath her brown tresses with a neutral glare "How can you be so chipper?"

"Coffee." Kuwabara replied sagely, holding up his 'Do I look like a F%#$ing people person?!' mug, which was filled to the brim with piping hot liquid soberity and caffeine "Lots n' lots of coffee."

"Well fork me over some." Makoto growled, though there was a note of humor in her tone as she watched her fellow sensei go about pouring her a cup "By the way, I didn't see our roomies."

"Eva-chan and Chachamaru are out at the moment." Kuwabara replied with a grin, having see off the pair about half an hour ago, Eva claiming she had things to do around town and Chachamaru tagging along as always "They'll be back later."

"So we're alone are we?" Makoto asked, looking the taller sensei over as she accepted her cup of coffee, chugging back a mouthful, heedless of how her pajama top had come partially undone, earning a spit-take from Kuwabara as he caught an eyeful of her unbound breasts "What?"

"NOTHING!" Kuwabara choked, blushing furiously and wiping his chin with his tie, averting his eyes from the brunette's assets "Just…coffee's a bit too hot s'all..."

Makoto quirked an eyebrow but said nothing, merely sipping away at her own cup, before stepping up and making for the stairs "I'll be in the shower." She warned, sending Kuwabara a good-natured frown over her shoulder "No peaking!"

"As if I would." Kuwabara scoffed, returning the look with a smirk of his own as he tidied up the clutter left on the table "I like being able to pee standing up."

Makoto snorted, before heading up the stairs with a sigh, slipping into the bathroom and out of her nightclothes, letting the hot water wash away the previous days dirt. As she rinsed out her hair, her mind wandered to the meeting she'd arranged with Chibi-Usa and Hotaru later that day. The two of them, or Usa anyways, wanted her to treat them as a teacher no doubt.

By the time she'd finished, dressing in a casual blouse and jeans before coming down the stairs, she'd found the kitchen long since deserted, a note from Kuwabara explaining that he'd stepped out for a while, a plate of buttered toast and the morning paper on the table.

'Same old Kuwabara.' The brunette noted with a smile, shaking her head at the man's thoughtfulness 'Just like he was back in college, a real rock to lean on.

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"Well it looks like everyone's in good spirits." Kuwabara noted, walking along the streets of Mahora, noting several members of 3-A about town as well, waving at them and declining their offers to join them for karaoke or the like "After all, I got somewhere to be!"

Which is why we find the tantei literally skipping down the street towards Genkai's hotel, a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a tub of ice cream under the other, the Koorime's favorite flavor to boot.

"Yukina-chan!" he called out, racing up the steps three at a time, coming to a halt in front of the door and ringing the bell, fixing his appearance as he waited for the door to open, smiling as Genkai's wrinkled face came into view "Yo, Genkai-baasan."

"You're early, even for you." Genkai noted, letting the tantei in and quirking an eyebrow at his aura "and I see that trip to Kyoto did you some good after all."

"Huh? Oh…yeah…" Kuwabara muttered, recalling exactly WHO he'd been training with while there, and wondering how the knowledge of this would affect the psychic. After all, Toguro and Genkai had been a couple before the former sold his humanity to become a demon, just how would Genkai react to him being trained by her lover's ghost?

"Give the Shinmeiryuu their due," Genkai chuckled, smirking wryly "they may be a bunch of traditional old fogies, but at the very least they know how to sharpen people's skills."

"Right…" Kuwabara muttered, looking around distractedly, trying to pinpoint his beloved's gentle youki within the structure and blinking as he came up empty handed "Ara? Where's Yukina-chan?"

"A missive came from her people while you were away." Genkai replied, lighting up a cigarette and walking over to an armchair "She had to go back for a few days, family matters apparently." She smirked as the tantei slumped pathetically "Now don't go making me feel wanted."

"Sorry, baasan," the tantei apologized, sighing explosively before straightening himself out, setting the tub of ice cream and flowers on the table and offering an apologetic smile "Didn't mean to come off as a jerk."

"Hard to match Yusuke's standards I know." Genkai offered, the two of them snorting at the memory of her disciple's infamous foot-in-mouth disease, which had gotten into hot water with more than a few people, but usually Keiko. "Now," she muttered, smiling up at the tantei "What do you say to a quick test of your abilities?"

"Ready and waiting ba-chan." Kuwabara replied, clenching a fist and grinning at the old psychic confidently "I ain't the same guy I was before."

"We'll see." Genkai countered, smirking at the man in a way that reminded him that it wasn't all that long ago she could kick Urameshi's ass from here to Makai and back "Oh yes indeed."

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"So since Mamoru figured my folks sent me back here to learn, he pulled some strings and enrolled me here at Mahora." Usa revealed, slurping down a strawberry milkshake at a café, Hotaru doing the same with her chocolate one.

"And how'd Usagi take it?" Makoto asked, referring to the pinkette's future mother, the only one of their group to not get into Todai. She hadn't seen the blonde for some time since graduation either, and was generally worried about her.

"Well…she moved in with Mamoru after she graduated." Chibi-Usa admitted, earning a quirked eyebrow from the brunette "Daring I know, but seeing as she couldn't get accepted into any universities with her grades, her mom finally threw her out for good."

"That's Ikuko-san for you." Makoto chuckled, recalling Usagi's long-suffering mother with a weak smile. The poor woman had been driven to her wits end trying to make a respectable lady out of the blonde disaster area, ignorant the whole time of her moon-lighting as one of Juuban's defenders, Sailor Moon.

Of course, it was better that way for most of them, as with the exception of Makoto, most of the scouts had families to worry about. Makoto, being an orphan, could afford to let her guard down around her apartment, but the others couldn't even use their communicators unless they were absolutely certain they weren't being spied on.

"So in any case, what's the scoop between you and Kuwabara-sensei?" Chibi-Usa asked, grinning mischievously as Hotaru blushed at the insinuation "You two seem to know each other rather well!"

"Kuwabara?" Makoto repeated, raising her eyebrows in surprise at the pinkette's boldness, no doubt inherited from her mother "He's an old friend from Todai, he was Ami and my neighbor."

"Really?" Usa smirked, earning a tentative look from Hotaru, who didn't like where the conversation was going "I'll admit he ain't the prettiest tool in the shed, but according to the grapevine he's pretty cool over all." She winked at Hotaru "And according to the local paparazzi, he's pretty built too."

"If Mamoru heard you talking like that he'd have a coronary." Makoto pointed out, her tone serious, though there was a slight blush to her cheeks as she recalled that disastrous first morning in the shower. 'Pretty built indeed.' She admitted, flushing slightly and shaking her head to ward off the image. "In any case, how's Dan been doing?"

"Hibiki-san entered a martial arts competition a while back." Hotaru replied, referring to a certain, pink-clad martial artist that had helped the senshi out long ago "He keeps in contact, and Sakura-sempai usually covers for him when he comes to visit."

"Have you been keeping up with your practice?" Makoto asked, looking the duo over, glad that the conversation had changed "Maybe we can have a quick spar for old times' sake."

"Against you?" Usa chuckled, quirking an eyebrow sardonically, a trait she most definitely inherited from her father "No offence Makoto, but I choose life."

"Wise choice." Makoto chuckled, ruffling the pinkette's hair, earning a giggle from the girl as she flagged down another strawberry milkshake.

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Kuwabara swept low, aiming to take the diminutive psychic off balance, but Genkai merely leapt upwards, hands clasped behind her back and an almost bored expression on her face as she flipped easily through the air with grace that'd make trained acrobats weep for joy.

"You're faster, I'll give you that." She allotted, sweeping under his strikes with an approving look despite her perpetual frown "And you use a lot less unnecessary movement, I'm actually having to dodge instead of stepping out of the way now."

"What's the difference?" Kuwabara grunted, his fists a blur, shifting from regular punches to knife-strikes, from inch-punches to paw-fists, as he endeavored to at least make the psychic sweat a little. He might outrank her in regards to strength and Reiki, especially considering she'd bequeathed most of her power to Yusuke, but Genkai had more battle experience than anyone else he knew of, even Tsuruko had spoken highly of her during their conversations in Kyoto.

As it was, the goal of this exercise was simplicity itself, all the tantei had to do was knock Genkai's hat from her head to end the match. Even touching it would earn him a minute's reprieve to catch his breath, something he'd made good use of, as Genkai was as slippery as a greased eel, and could fight dirtier than Urameshi ever imagined, as she'd apparently been around when the book was written…and had supplied a lot of the material.

"The difference," the psychic explained, getting inside his guard and sending him flying flat on his back with two fingers to the chest and a burst of reiki "Is that before now I could've done that ten times from the offset." She watched the man sit up with a grunt "Now I can barely see any openings at all, and your strikes are more precise, I actually felt a few graze me when I dodged."

"So all that means is that I'm higher than your shoes." Kuwabara muttered, a self-mocking smirk on his face as he sat up, one leg crossed beneath him, the other pointing upwards as he leant against a tree "Taku…and here I thought I'd made a leap."

"Don't deride yourself, that's my job." Genkai chuckled good naturedly, earning a snort from the man as he shook his head "And you have advanced, if this fight weren't limited to simple hand to hand combat then doubtless you'd have prevailed long ago." She frowned "however, one of the failings in my lessons with Yusuke is that I couldn't pass on the full benefits of my tutelage, namely how to handle challenges from fighters that don't rely on reiki or youki, but are nonetheless capable of putting up a decent fight." She smirked "Like a certain Kyoto kunoichi and blonde kempo practitioner you know so well."

Kuwabara winced, recalling how Ku Fei and Kaede had kept popping up at random intervals between classes ever since returning from Kyoto. The former, with bluntness fitting of her Baka Yellow title, kept challenging him to fights in public, which for some reason always attracted a crowd that made escaping difficult. Kaede, fortunately, was less direct in her approach, and seemed to be testing herself by trying to sneak under his Reikan to get close enough to surprise him. Though the fact she'd have the odd kunai about her made the tantei question what would happen if she DID sneak up on him.

"By the way, what's the situation with Evangeline?" Genkai asked, catching the man's attention with her question "judging by the fact you're not running around terrorizing the public, I'm guessing she hasn't made another attempt to convert you."

"Had ta bring that up didn't ya?" Kuwabara muttered with a wince, though he really had no one to blame but himself for falling into that trap "And naw, she's teaching Negi-bozu a few tricks ta being a magi." He smirked at Genkai's cocked eyebrow "Yeah, surprised me too."

"Wrangling tutoring from the maga nosferatu herself…quite a talent that boy has." Genkai noted, shaking her head in disbelief at Negi's daring, clearly a genetic trait "Be that as it may he made a good choice, out of all the magical practitioners currently in Ningenkai, there's probably none that can match her in terms of might and skill." She smirked wryly "Plus she's been around longer than I have, so she's sure to have picked up a thing or too." She looked over at the tantei with a calculative expression "Maybe you could stand to learn a thing or two yourself."

"Me?" Kuwabara stammered, pointing at his face as his eyes widened at the thought, as it had come completely out of left field "But…I'm no mage! I can't use magic!"

"Most people have some innate form of magic about them." Genkai countered, her hands behind her back "However, most mundanes live through their whole lives without realizing it, and those that do usually don't have enough that it requires formal training." she nodded towards the tantei "You can materialize your reiki into tangible blades, that in itself is a form of magic, albeit an obscure one, more creditable to your abnormally high Reikan than any magical proficiency."

"So what, you think I should pick up a few spells or somethin'?" Kuwabara asked, wondering when the hell his life had become a fantasy RPG, complete with overpowered lollita schoolgirls.

"Not really, though perhaps they'll give your brain something to do while you train your body." Genkai quipped, though the humor in her tone was good-natured, even if her smirk set the man on edge "After all, you're that girl's minister now, right?"

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"What was that?" Makoto wondered, looking up in confused alarm as the dieing echoes of a frustrated scream faded away, the residents of Mahora not giving it a second thought.

"Sounds like someone's sleeping on the couch tonight." Usa joked, earning a mortified flush from Hotaru and a stern look from Makoto, though the brunette couldn't help but snort at the innuendo.

"C'mon let's get you back to the dorms." She muttered, leading the way with both girls nattering away about campus life at her sides, discussing the madness that was Mahora with eagerness.

"Makoto." Usa asked suddenly, looking up at the brunette with a serious expression that reminded Makoto of her mother whenever she was arguing with Rei "Listen, you know how we were talking about Kuwabara-sensei a while back?" she pressed on despite Hotaru's imploring look "Well…how is it you're so familiar with him? You two used to date or something?"

Makoto was silent a moment, the pinkette wondering if she'd crossed some sort of line with her mother's friend, only to blink at the expression on the woman's face, a far off look that was part sad, part happy.

"Kuwabara…helped me through a really rough patch." Makoto admitted, gripping her elbow as she looked out at the campus from atop the walkway, her smile wistful "It happened while we were at Todai…I wish I could say it wasn't my fault, but I'd probably be wrong."

"Makoto-san…" Hotaru began, her tone laced with concern for the older woman, only for the brunette to turn, a beaming smile on her face as she ruffled their hair.

"Enough reminiscing!" she chuckled, pushing them along by their shoulders "Time to get you delinquents back to the dorms before curfew!"

Hotaru said nothing, a stark contrast to Usa, who was fighting to escape the taller woman's clutches, insisting there was no curfew. The purple-eyed girl was watching the brunette carefully, a hint of concern in those eyes as she noticed the smile on her friend's face seemed a little false. Clearly, whatever it had been that transpired at Todai between Makoto and Kuwabara-sensei, calling it a 'rough patch' didn't do it justice.

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"Tadaima…" Kuwabara called out, slipping into the cottage, only to blink as the telltale sound of voices from upstairs reached his ears "Oiiii, Eva-chan?"

"Who're you calling Eva-chan so familiarly?!" came the enraged reply, Evangeline sliding down the banister to glare at him like an annoyed cat, looking oddly adorable in a pair of half-moon spectacles and slight blush.

"Wari-Wari…" Kuwabara offered with a chuckle, slipping out of his jacket and tie as he drew closer, smiling at the vexed magi, "So what's the party for?"

"The boy and Konoka needed some after class tutoring." Evangeline muttered, leading the way back upstairs and nodding towards a waving Konoka and a distressed looking Negi, who was squatting on the floor tracing circles in the wood and weeping humorously "That is, if SOMEONE would snap out of his funk long enough to pay attention!"

"Awoo…Asuna-san's mad at me…" Negi sobbed, looking so lost and distressed that the collective females, sans an annoyed Evangeline, felt the urge to cuddle him "What'd I do?"

"Lover's tiff?" Kuwabara asked, earning a confused look from Konoka, a mortified look from Setsuna, Nodoka and Negi, a blank stare from Chachamaru and a cackle of amusement from Evangeline.

"Close enough." The lolita snorted, smirking at the mortified face of her disciple as she reclaimed her seat in front of a blackboard, on which were drawn crude images of Negi and Konoka, bulging like over-filled gummy bears with magical energy "It seems boya here and Kagurazaka got into a bit of a fight over his leaving her out of some exploration with the library duo."

"Y-Yue and I convinced Negi-sensei to check out one of the underground passages his father had listed on the map the elder gave him." Nodoka admitted, Kuwabara looking intrigued at the news "We went down there without telling anyone, then the dragon chased us out and we…"

"Wait th' HELL?!" Kuwabara baulked, eyes widening in disbelief at what the shy librarian had just told them "A Dragon?! There's a Goddamned DRAGON on th' campus?!"

"Under it actually." Chachamaru supplied, drawing everyone's attention to her "It appears to live in the underground tunnels, no doubt guarding the rare tomes that exist deep within the confines of Library Island."

"That's one hell of a hall monitor." Kuwabara muttered, earning a nervous giggle from Nodoka and a scoff from Evangeline, before turning to address the still weeping Negi, who still hadn't stopped his antics "Anyways kiddo, why don't you tell me what happened?"

Two minutes later, and the tantei had to use every ounce of self-control he'd learned to keep from falling on his ass from laughing so hard. But he just couldn't help it, as prim and proper as Negi was, it was heartening to know that he was still a ten-year old, capable of saying inappropriate things without full knowledge of their repercussions.

"F-first off, I'd apologize for the 'Paipan' bit," he chuckled, coughing into his fist to compose himself "Dunno if it's the crux of th' matter, but saying something like that out loud's gotta be one hell of an embarrassment for a girl." He smirked and ruffled the boy's hair "But give 'er some space ta cool off first…I know from experience that women tend to be pretty catty after being embarrassed."

Negi nodded, looking up at the older sensei with appreciation, before rushing off with a blurted apology to Evangeline, nearly knocking Hakase down as the bespectacled girl climbed up with a toolbox under her arm, no doubt to check on Chachamaru.

"Looks like you can say the right thing from time to time." Evangeline noted with a wry smirk, looking at the lanky professor over the rim of her glasses, before nodding to Konoka "I need to speak with you about developing your magic…" she eyed Kuwabara uncertainly "I suppose you'd better tag along too." She smirked at his look of surprise "You need to know exactly what you've gotten yourself into."

Kuwabara blinked, looking over at an equally confused Konoka, before leading the way down the stairs after Evangeline, the Dean's grand-daughter following with a concerned Setsuna on her tail. Evangeline gestured for them to find a seat, the trio complying by pushing several of her dolls out of the way tentatively. After all, most of them were a lot bigger than Chachazero, and that particular Doll was deadly enough on her own.

"Now, Eishun's stupidity aside," Evangeline began, earning a stern look from Setsuna for her referring to Konoka's father as such "You really should have begun mastering your magic long ago. It's not uncommon for people with high levels of magical energy to give off bursts of unintentional magic."

"Like in the Potter-san Stories?" Konoka asked, earning a look from the magi as she held up a first edition hardback of the first book, seemingly from out of nowhere.

"Yes…and no." Evangeline muttered, frowning slightly in annoyance. "I'll admit that Rowling woman covered some pretty good points, far too many for her to be a mundane in my opinion, but she glossed over some pretty key areas." She held up a finger "For example, Giants are not gormless mountains of muscle, they're simply really big people with a high resistance to magic, and Dragons are usually quite intelligent, though it varies per species." She smirked at the enawed look on Konoka's face "Also, it's quite rare, but in cases such as yours and the boya's, lack of training can cause the subject to explode."

The nosferatu cackled at the look of alarm on Kuwabara and Konoka's faces, though they paled in comparison to the look of horror on Setsuna's. The kendo-ka looked like the world was about to implode that second. "Relax, the healing you gave Sakurazaki and the pactio with the boya evened out your magical core." Evangeline assured them, nodding towards Konoka as she spoke, earning an explosive series of sighs from the group, Setsuna in particular "Which brings me to my next topic, namely your pactio with Sasquatch here."

Kuwabara glared at the blonde, to which Evangeline merely smirked, before gesturing for them to pull out their Pactio cards, the tantei blinking at the sight on the card in confusion, that of a silver garbed highwayman "Th' hell? Where am I?"

"You're there you cretin." Evangeline shot back, her arms crossed "Sometimes the Artifact bequeathed doesn't have to be a weapon, like Miyazaki's book or Konoka's fans." She nodded to Konoka, who held up her own Pactio from Negi eagerly "Either way, you need to practice using them to get the feel of them…" she glared at Konoka, who looked decidedly eager "But not in here! Wait till we're at the training field I showed you today!"

Kuwabara chuckled, noting the disappointed pout on the girl's face with bemusement, only to blink as he sensed a surge of unusual energy, which he now recognized as magic, occurring right outside the cabin. Leaping to his feet, not willing to put anything to chance so soon after the trip, he raced for the door, channeling reiki into his fists as he burst through it just as Negi's summoning spell deposited a naked Kagurazaka Asuna right in front of him and a startled Takahata T. Takamichi.

"This won't end well." The tantei muttered, even as Asuna's scream of humiliation filled the air, shattering the near silence of the woods "At least it can't get any worse."

"Kuwabara?" a stunned voice choked out, the tantei whipping round to find a mortified looking Kino Makoto gaping at the sight before her, having apparently just stepped on the scene as Asuna attempted to throttle Negi with her towel, heedless of the onlookers in her ire "What on earth-?!"

And somewhere, in a pocket dimension of his creation, the Demon God Murphy laughed so hard he split his sides.

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Cue the Nadesico music.

Narrator: Aloha!

Kuwabara: What the hell? Where are we-?!

Narrator: Our heroes once again set out on a journey of love and recovery!

Ayaka: Negi-Sensei! Come to my arms!

Narrator: Will this summertime romance bring old loves together once more?

Makoto: WE'RE NOT-OHMIGAWD IS THAT A SHARK?!

Negi: HAAAALLP!!!

Narrator: Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara; SUN! SAND! SHARKS?!

Butler: Martini on the rocks? Anyone?

R&R!!!

* * *


	34. Chapter 34

I'm certain everyone has some idea of what I'm planning here, right?

Well don't spoil it for those who don't and read on!

_Heaven or Hell?_

_LET'S RAWK!_

* * *

34th period

"Would you cheer up Bozu?" Kuwabara asked, looking down at the slumping form of Negi as they walked alongside one another, a concerned Makoto looking over the clearly distressed Child-sensei.

At first, it had thrown the brunette for a loop that a ten-year old could be her superior as an educator, especially considering how long she'd been looking for work, but after being introduced, albeit not under the best circumstances, she accepted Negi as quickly as everyone else.

It didn't hurt that Asuna had just mauled him for inadvertently flashing her in front of Takamichi, so the ten-year-old's pitiable face appealed to the budding maternal instincts of the brunette almost instantly.

"But…I just made things worse…" Negi sniffed, looking absolutely stricken by the events of the night before. He'd been so distressed he hadn't dared return to the dorm and had spent the night on the couch at Evangeline's. Well, he'd started on the couch, but had somehow found his way into Makoto's bed, the brunette waking up to find the Welshman snuggled up to her bosom, and probably would've reacted strongly had Negi not looked so adorable, mumbling 'nee-san' in his sleep.

The scene probably would have ended there, but her shocked gasp from finding someone in bed with her, and a child at that, had not only roused Negi somewhat, it also brought Kuwabara racing in from the bathroom, shirt off and shaving foam covering half his face, the lanky professor passing out from a nosebleed at the sight of Makoto in a vest, panties and not much else, Negi cuddling her bosom suggestively.

'If it'd been Rei-chan he'd have been barbecued, cute or not.' The brunette noted with a slight wince, recalling how her friend valued her personal space, though after growing up with a pervert for a grandfather could you blame her?

"Yeah your timing was a little off." Kuwabara muttered, sweat dropping at the boy's incredible sense of timing, and how he always somehow managed to wind up in questionable circumstances "but you gotta let it go, you'll go bald if you keep fretting away like that."

"That's terrible!" A voice cried out from the side, the group looking up to see a distraught Yukihiro Ayaka rushing towards them at full speed, a carriage with several servants parked not too far away "Negi-sensei! You must cast aside those negative thoughts immediately!" she insisted, hugging Negi's head to her bosom and stroking his hair "You cannot afford to lose your hair so early in your life!"

'I was just kiddin'…' Kuwabara muttered, a sweatdrop sliding down the side of his head at the Class-rep's overbearing attitude as Makoto fought to hide her giggles 'And just what kinda ears has she got?!'

"This won't do at all…" Ayaka muttered, hugging the confused Negi close to her bosom as she stroked his hair in a manner that was more questionable than soothing "I simply cannot abide leaving you in such a stressful state! Come Sensei! My carriage awaits!"

"Whoa there, Yukihiro." Kuwabara called out, snapping the overzealous blonde out of her Negi-induced daze to notice him and Makoto standing there for the first time "Negi and I were talking a second ago…"

"Kuwabara-sensei! Perfect timing!" Ayaka called out, snapping her fingers, several maids popping out of thin air behind her "I really must thank you for all the help you've given Negi-sensei! Please feel free to join us!"

"Wait, WHAT?!" Kuwabara stammered, only to yelp as he was lifted off the ground by several maids, thrashing about like an anaconda in their grip as they dragged him and an equally startled Motoko back to the carriage "What the hell?! Hanase-!"

That was as far as he got before a deft sleeper hold to the neck sent him into the land of dreams, his last memory being that of a mustachioed butler saying something about his pants.

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"Oh my head…" Kuwabara muttered, sitting up with a grunt, one hand covering his eyes as the unrelenting sun beat down on him "What happened…and why do I smell sea salt?"

Sitting up, the tantei blinked as he caught sight of a seagull flying overhead, looking round to find himself reclining on a poolside chair, one of many, on some exotic looking beach that gave one the impression of ukulele's and Pina Coladas.

"…Th' hell…?" the tantei stammered, looking about the island paradise in disbelief, only to realize that his location wasn't the only thing that had changed "What th' hell?!" He yelled, gaping down at the flowery Hawaiian shirt and highly revealing swimsuit he'd been dressed in "Where are my clothes?!"

"Kuwabara?" Makoto's voice called out, the tantei looking round, only to gape at the sight of his fellow educator in a highly revealing bikini, the strange, loincloth like towel wrapped around her waist, one leg exposed, doing little to hide her figure "What on…where are we?"

"The Yukihiro Corporation's Private Island Retreat." Came a cultured voice, the two looking round to find a butler, dressed in a full suit despite the heat, standing with a tray of drinks in one hand "Good day to you, I'm Nakamura, the butler. I do apologize for the rough treatment but protocol requires we keep the location of the retreat on a 'need to know' basis."

"Are you the one that dressed us in these things?" Kuwabara demanded, an equally annoyed Makoto sidling up next to him, both of them ready to flatten the old pervert if necessary. Hellthey were likely to flatten him either way.

"Good Heaven's no!" Nakamura assured them, stroking his moustache as he spoke "The madam instructed the maids to have you outfitted in the latest fashions for the duration of your stay."

"Maids?" Kuwabara repeated, a flush coming over him as he recalled Ayaka's servants manhandling him with a sense of growing horror, looking round to find three or four standing nearby, their smiles amiable if you ignored the hungry glint they were sending their way "Forget that," the professor muttered after with a slight shudder "Where's Ayaka?"

"The young Miss is entertaining her homeroom sensei on the beach." Nakamura explained, nodding towards the vast expanse of sand to his left, where a figure in a designer swimsuit and a young boy in shorts were walking along "She has expressed a desire to remain undisturbed for a while, so if you would care for a drink?"

"To hell with that!" Makoto muttered, marching towards the duo with a frown on her face, her assets giggling temptingly because of the suit "I'm going to give that girl a piece of my mind for this little-!"

She stopped in her tracks as two redheaded maids stepped in her path, identical save for the manner in which they carried themselves and their clothes. One, dressed as a more conservative Japanese maid, beamed at the woman whilst holding a broom like a pole-arm. The other, in a more western maid outfit, simply stood there with what looked like a pair of jute.

"I'm afraid I must insist." Nakamura sighed, Kuwabara cursing as several ki signatures became apparent around them, noticing as a small army of maids appeared on the fringe of sight, standing between them and the beach.

"Feh…" the tantei muttered, backing up until he and Makoto were standing back to back, glaring into the giggling horde of maids with trepidation, and a hint of excitement "How do I get into these messes?"

"Maybe it's a talent." Makoto quipped, smirking back at him as she kept an eye on the two up front, noting they were pretty strong despite their appearance "Too bad Minako-chan isn't here," she commented offhandedly, smirking up at the tantei coyly "She'd kill for the sight of you in a thong."

"THONG?!" Kuwabara roared, face lighting up with mortified indignation, as he clapped a hand to his rump, the giggling of the horde intensifying "No wonder my ass chafes!"

"He's so cute, Hisui-chan." One of the twins up front noted, the one in the traditional japanese outfit, a cute smile on her face as she titled her head at the two "He looked so adorable asleep too…"

"I fail to see it, Kohaku-chan." The one dubbed Hisui replied with a dismissive expression "but the brunette was most responsive in her sleep…perhaps she's been without too long?"

The educators' faces darkened, shadows falling over them as they stood in silence, watching the advancing horde with impassive faces, before smirking in unison. "Feh, their confident…" Kuwabara snorted, looking out at the advancing maids with a vein bulging on his brow.

"Their dead." Makoto countered, a vein bulging on her own forehead as she locked gazes with Kohaku and Hisui, the duo continuing to smirk even as the group lunged at them en masse, blurring into motion with a yell.

"LET'S PUT 'EM IN THE GROUND!"

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"Ayaka-san? Did you hear something a second ago?" Negi asked, looking round in confusion as a small explosion was heard far off in the distance "It sounded pretty close."

"Nothing to worry about, Negi-sensei!" the doting Ayaka assured her beloved child-sensei, in full shotacon mode as she led him along her family's private beach, confident in her staff's ability to ensure they were undisturbed "This is the Yukihiro-foundation's private resort, my family's security wouldn't let a fly in here without clearance-!"

"YAHOOO!!!" screamed a horde of familiar girls as the majority of 3A raced past the duo towards the crystalline waters of the beach, a veritable smorgasbord of swimsuits and bust lines of various sizes blocking their gazes, Negi's face turning magenta at some of the more daring girl's choices in swimwear. Naba Chizuru's outfit alone would've killed every pervert in Japan from the bloodloss it could encourage.

"Wha-wha-wha?!" Ayaka stammered, pointing at the rejoicing girls in barely restrained shock and fury, before whipping out her cell phone and dialing up the resort's head of Security "Nakamura! I thought I said we were to be left alone!"

"My apologies ma'am!" Nakamura offered over the sound of machine-gun fire and random explosions apparent in the background "But it seems your other professors did not take too kindly to being dressed without their approval."

"Forget about that!" Ayaka snapped, briefly wondering if perhaps she should have overseen the selection of swimwear personally, rather than leaving it in the hands of the help "Why is it that half my class are on the beach?!"

"Again, my apologies ma'am." The butler offered over the muted sound of a minor explosion "But it seems they smuggled aboard the jet we chartered to bring you here using one of your pass-cards, and most of the staff were too wrapped up attending to your other sensei to notice in time.

Ayaka groaned, snapping the phone shut in time to see a plume of smoke rising up near the main compound, idly wondering if there was a barbecue scheduled for later, before turning round to berate Chizuru and Natsumi for tagging along with the rest of the clowns, only breaking away to 'rescue' Negi from the attentions of Yuna and Makie.

At the very least she was getting training in multi-tasking, something that would benefit her as the future head of the Yukihiro Corporation if she didn't die from a conniption first.

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"Where in the hell did they hire these freaks?!" Kuwabara demanded, relieving a maid of her modified Ak-47 and delivering a backhand that rendered her unconscious, firing into the crowd to ward them off.

"Probably the same wanted ads the dean picked us from." Makoto quipped back, delivering a sharp kick to the side of another maid's head, sending her to the ground before following it up with an elbow strike to another's mid-riff "Damn! They just keep coming!"

"We live to serve!" Kohaku chirped, coming in from the side, twirling her broom like the world's oddest Bo staff, Kuwabara defecting the blows from the head with reiki-enhanced fists. Behind him, Hisui, who was proving more than adept with those jute of hers, similarly pressed Makoto.

"Dammit! When we get out of here Yukihiro's gonna be in so much trouble detention won't begin ta cover it!" Kuwabara swore, fending of the giggling Kohaku with his fists, not wanting to resort to his reiken with Makoto looking on. The brunette was similarly resisting the urge to whip out her transformation pen, which she'd found stashed between her breasts, much to her annoyance, as the last thing she needed was knowledge of her identity getting out to a group that hired such weird help.

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"It's getting pretty rowdy over that way." Kazumi noted with interest, her journalist senses telling her that she was missing out on a pretty interesting scoop, but was unwilling to tear her eyes away from the sideshow that was 3A fawning over a clueless Negi-kun "Still, I wonder where Kuwabara-sensei got off to?" she noted offhandedly "I remember seeing his name on the guest-list, along with that new phys-ed teacher…" her eyes widened slightly "Could it be?! Are they in the middle of a torrid affair?! Or could she be his lover, come to join him at campus?!"

"Asakura's at it again…" Yue noted blandly, watching as Kazumi continued to list off the possibilities, coming up with the seedy details without any actual proof of them taking place, just like a professional paparazzi "Still, we need to do something about Negi-sensei." She noted, watching the boy stumble past, having just escaped from what he'd dubbed 'Marshmallow Hell', namely drowning to death in the middle of a boob sandwich, "This problem with Asuna aside, I need to speak with him about something personal."

"Is this about what we discussed earlier?" Nodoka asked, looking over at her friend with interest. Yue had enquired as to the benefits of possessing a pactio and had expressed an interest in gaining one herself. Nodoka, ignorant of the requirements for initiating a pactio, only that it involved Negi-sensei somehow, had suggested the bluenette ask the child-sensei directly. After all, it wouldn't do to have something her best friend didn't, and Yue already knew Negi-sensei was a mage, it seemed only right she receive a pactio for her silence, not that they were blackmailing him or anything...

The duo looked up just as a small explosion caused ripples on the beach, sweat dropping as a tower of smoke was visible from what, if Yue recalled right, was the airstrip Ayaka's oversized private jet had landed on.

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"There goes our ride outta here." Kuwabara muttered, using a purloined set of Jian swords to ward off the kukri blades of one of the maids with relatively sound effort. The woman's fighting style was unusual true, but she was nowhere near as fast as Tsuruko had been.

"There's plenty more on the other side of the strip!" Motoko yelled back, delivering a flurry of kicks whilst twirling a purloined Quan Dao, the two of them in considerably better state than their foes, who had apparently stopped using heavy artillery and switched to close quarters combat. It was that or raze the resort to the ground.

"Nyohoho…you two are truly something else, as expected of Oujou-sama's instructors." Nakamura chortled, dodging strikes and delivering shots with a pair of handguns, an assault knife flying from his hands to separate them "However, the Yukihiro family does not look kindly on failure! Prepare yourselves!"

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"Negi-sensei, I want to apologize for the earlier mishap." Ayaka offered, her tone sincere as she walked up to the haggard looking preteen "It was undignified to put you in such a situation."

"It's alright, Iincho-san." Negi offered with a kind smile, still slightly traumatized from his cleavage induced water torture, wondering if he'd ever be able to hug his cousin Nekane again after that "It's not your fault at all."

"But…then why are you so upset?" Ayaka asked, looking over the youth in confusion "I mean I know you were troubled before coming here, but what could trouble you so much that you can't relax?"

"I…got into a big fight with Asuna-san." The Welshman admitted sadly, his chin on his knees as he looked out to sea "We said some bad things to one another and now she won't speak to me…"

"That's terrible!" Ayaka exclaimed, earning surprised looks from the eavesdroppers, who'd pegged her for seizing the opportunity to badmouth her rival "Rest assured Sensei, I'll do everything I can to patch things up between you before you leave!"

"Iincho-san…" the young mage uttered, completely stunned by her attitude, only to blink as several other girls rushed forwards, some patting Ayaka proudly on the shoulder, whilst Naba Chizuru offered an idea of her own.

Negi didn't understand what him swimming out to the bay had to do with getting back into Asuna's good graces. Yes it was relaxing, but that only meant he had more time to think about the trouble he was in.

Still, there was nothing like a hand suddenly grabbing his leg and dragging him under to interrupt his train of thought.

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"Asuna-san!" Ayaka called out, racing towards the redhead with a panicked expression that would make her drama couch proud "Negi-sensei's in trouble!"

Asuna, acting on instinct, raced after the blonde, her argument with the little twerp instantly shoved to the side as various scenarios raced through her mind. Finding out he'd gone up against a DRAGON, of all things, hadn't been good for her heart or beauty sleep, as she kept waking up from nightmares involving Godzilla rejects and Negima skewers with Negi's terrified face on the meat.

An explosion of sand stunned the group in their tracks, blinking in disbelief as a figure in a tattered Hawaiian shirt and trunks stepped out of the dust, dragging what looked to be a woman in combat fatigues and a revealing black vest.

"K-Kuwabara-sensei!?" Asuna stammered, gaping at the annoyed visage of the science teacher, noting, with a flush, that he was pretty beefed up without his suit covering the muscle. A sentiment shared by quite a few members of the class, the cheerleaders whipping out the phone cameras and snapping off shots as he walked up to them.

"Yukihiro…" he called out, depositing the groaning, and not entirely from pain, servant on the sand, his look one of annoyance as he glared at the on-the-spot class rep "We need to talk about your invitation skills."

"Not now Sensei!" Asuna called out, snapping out of her daze and pushing past the irate science teacher, noting with approval how buff he looked, before racing towards the water like greased lightning "Negi's in trouble!"

"Again?" Kuwabara asked exasperatedly, looking honestly jaded to the subject, following the girl's retreating form in time to see Negi struggling in the water, his eyes bulging at the sight of the sharks "SHIT!" he yelped, spinning on his heel and racing down the beach, drawing a few appreciative whistles and blushes as the girls realized he was wearing a thong.

Asuna, who by now was halfway to the water, stumbled as something rushed past her like a freight train, falling to her knees and gaping at the sight of Kuwabara charging straight at the water like a man possessed, her face turning magenta as she saw exactly what he was wearing. 'Like granite!' a seedy part of her brain she'd been fighting off for years noted, causing her to slam her skull into a coconut to silence it, Negi's dilemma completely forgotten.

"Ara-ara…your maids have good taste, Ayaka-chan." Chizuru noted offhandedly, the girls rounding on a stunned Ayaka, who promptly denied any knowledge of such tastes, only to freeze as a hand dropped on her shoulder, looking back at the shadowy from looming over her.

"Much as I enjoyed the suit," Makoto admitted, after all it WAS a Paris original, "I think we need to have a little talk about how you treat your guests, Yukihiro-san."

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"Since when do sharks know Kempo?!" Negi wailed, swimming like his life dependent on it as the great white lunged at him, to distraught to realize the thing was cackling in a decidedly familiar manner to one of his students, though Chamo's terrified blubbering wasn't helping much either.

Ku Fei, for indeed it was her inside the Jaws suit, was wondering just how much longer she was going to have to torment her sensei/disciple before Asuna showed up, only to blink as she felt a literal explosion of ki from the shoreline. Looking round with surprise, the baka-yellow's eyes, and those of a shocked Murakami Natsumi, widened at the sight of Kuwabara-sensei, in a highly fetching Hawaiian shirt and thong, racing towards them, actually RUNNING on top of the water, his face akin to some vengeful war deity as he charged them with murder in his eyes.

"Nyo-ho! I get fight at last aru!" the kempo practitioner cheered, switching targets and trying to move into a ready stance, a terrified Natsumi swimming towards an equally terrified Negi, hugging the child sensei in terror, despite the panic-attack this brought out of the boy. "I no hold back Aru!"

"GET THE HELL OUTTA MY FREAKIN' WAY!" Kuwabara roared, delivering a savage punch to the gills of the larger shark, sending it crashing to the side, Ku Fei's startled 'AIYAH!' muffled by the thick padding of the suit, not stopping in the slightest as he advanced towards Negi and Natsumi, seeing only his little buddy about to become snack food for Jaws' little brother "Kono-!"

Natsumi squealed as Kuwabara tackled her off Negi, dragging them both under the water as he promptly wrestled with her like something out of an Indy film, earning awed expressions from the onlookers on shore.

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"Did you see him send that shark flying?!" Misa exclaimed, leaning close to her fellow cheerleaders in shock "What kind of strength does he have?!"

"Screw that, did you see him racing on the water?" Madoka asked, honestly stunned senseless from the sight, a healthy blush on her face as she saved the picture of her Sensei in a thong on her phone "What is he, a ninja?"

"Ninja's aren't real de gozaru." Kaede countered with a small smile, the Kyoto beauty chuckling as she watched Kuwabara surface, looking down at the half-drowned form of Natsumi in confusion, as Ku Fei, her costume having washed up on shore, lay half out of the fake shark's mouth in a daze, her eyes little swirls.

Needless to say, Ayaka wasn't the only one that got a telling off for her actions.

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"Mataku…" Kuwabara muttered, walking along the beach with his hands on his hips, having just finished reading the girls the riot act for their stunt, practically FORCING Asuna and Negi to kiss and make up, as they were indirectly responsible for the days events "One thing after another with this class…Maybe I should look into lion taming…or crocodile wrestling."

"But that wouldn't be as fun would it?" Makoto chuckled, walking along with her hands entwined behind her back, looking out at the sunset with an approving smile "It's a shame, with everything that's happened the day's almost over…I was kinda hoping to get a tan."

"Well I got a swim in at least." Kuwabara muttered, snorting as he recalled wrestling with Natsumi under the water, only to gape as she popped out of the shark suit like a cork. A good thing too, as he'd inadvertently crushed her oxygen tank.

"I saw that." Makoto admitted with a chuckle, shooting an appreciative look at the suddenly nervous tantei "You're pretty energetic Kuwabara…" she grinned at him teasingly "and you really do pull off that suit nicely."

"You're one to talk." Kuwabara shot back, only to blush and look away as she smiled at the compliment "I mean…well you fill it out well and…I'm shutting up now."

Makoto chuckled, amused at her college-friend's shy attitude, before walking up and taking his arm in hers "C'mon, let's go catch some starfish for souvenirs!" she suggested, dragging the startled, flushing tantei towards the water with a laugh, the two of them promptly getting engaged in a heated water fight, laughing like teenagers, heedless of the onlookers watching them from the beach with flushed faces and suppressed giggles.

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Cue the Nadesico Music!

Narrator: Ah! Summer Romance!

Kazumi: Extra-Extra! Read all about it!

Narrator: But time holds no barrs on a man's passion!

Makie: Sensei! I wish you both hapiness!

Narrator: But what's this? A cladestine encounter?

Evangeline: Wine Sensei?

Narrator: No Kuwabara! Do not ive in to the dark side!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: Evangel! Thine frozen Heart shall thaw!

Evangeline:...End of the world...

R&R or make Hisui-chan will get you.

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	35. Chapter 35

Picking right up where we left off, with a little development here and there.

Shall we?

_HEAVEN OR HELL?_

_LET'S RAWK!_

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35th period.

"Yo, Kuwabara-kun." Seruhiko greeted, the bishounen sensei whistling at the sight of the younger man's appearance as he sidled into the office, one eye opening in approval "Nice tan! You go somewhere nice for golden week?"

"Sort of." Kuwabara admitted with a chuckle, the tanned tantei dumping a little hula-girl bobble head on the bishounen's desk with a wry smirk, reaching into his bag as he spoke "Here, picked up a couple'a souvenires for ya all..."

"You shouldn't have," Akashi-sensei chuckled, accepting what appeared to be a textbook, only for his eyes to punch through his glasses as he opened it to find it to be the Yukihiro foundation's monthly magazine, complete with candid photos of their maids in various poses.

"Yuna told me you collected this stuff." The lanky professor admitted with a smirk, watching as the girl's father choked in embarrassment, stuffing the book away from Nita's disapproving glare and Seruhiko's inquisitive grin "figured you'd like it more than me."

Yuna's father would've commented, but was too busy wiping away a nosebleed to make any coherent thoughts. Though he did idly wonder about the pages that had included a few telephone numbers drawn on them, apparently in lipstick.

"Yo, Takahata." Kuwabara called out, waving at Asuna's long-time crush, tossing the smiling teacher a pack of cigars as he came in, a file book tucked under his arm and his tie partially undone "Gift from th' islands."

"How nice of you." Asuna's crush chuckled, looking over the cigars in mild approval, before stashing them in his coat pocket for later enjoyment "I prefer cigarettes myself, but these are a treat worth savoring."

"Those things'll kill you." Makoto countered, walking in with a pert smile, her tan drawing appreciative looks as she placed a seashell paperweight on Shizuna's desk "I got a letter opener for Touko-san too." She noted, pulling out a rather wicked looking blade that could've been used to open clams, much to the collective males' horror.

Kuwabara, chuckling at the looks on his fellows' faces, picked up his files and made for the door, ready to deal with the madness that was 3A without any complaints, ruffling Negi's hair as the Welshman showed up, running a little late because Asuna had convinced him to sleep in after the trip.

'Lessee…should I spring a pop-quiz for all th' trouble they caused?' the tantei wondered deviously, a smirk forming on his faced that caused several seniors to back away slowly, only to sigh and shake his head 'Naw…th' day ended well enough…I even had fun now I think it.'

He flushed slightly at the memory of Makoto splashing water at him, sun shining behind her and accentuating her curves and smile as she laughed. The tantei had to literally shake himself to rid himself of the image, after all, it wasn't proper to think about one's colleagues like that, especially when he already had Yukina-chan.

'Plus it wouldn't be right.' He muttered, recalling the events of 'The Incident' with a scowl, Makoto's smiling face replaced with one of her in tears, instantly killing his buzz and sobering his mood, though he quickly corrected himself as he opened the door to 3A.

"Mornin'" he called out, blinking as he was heralded not by the usual 3A riot, but a series of polite calls and bows. While not an uncommon occurrence, as there was the odd intermission between the bouts of madness, it was still random enough to catch him off guard, albeit shortly.

"Take your seats." He called out, walking up his desk as they complied obediently, noting with surprise that Evangeline was present, before shrugging it off "Right, last time we were talking about the rain cycle and the effects of erosion," he picked up, looking over at the girls as they groaned "Now-now, no need to be like that, take the trip to the beach for example, how d'ya think all that sand got there?"

The girls looked a little intrigued by the question, and Kuwabara promptly seized on it to explain how the sea broke down boulders and stones to create the sand that washed up on beaches, though he did notice a few of the girls seemed to eyeballing him with looks akin to HUNGER, most notably the ever disturbing Saotome Haruna, who was cackling softly at the back of the class.

'Note to self, use different escape route today.' The tantei muttered, shivering as he turned his back on the perverted manga-ka, only to shiver as the piercing looks directed at his back intensified. "Is there something wrong ladies?" he called out, turning to face the class with a frown, only to find them looking back at him innocently "Can the act girls," he muttered, looking towards a trembling Misa "Kakizaki looks like she's about to explode, that mean's you've no doubt heard another weird rumor, so out with it."

No sooner had the words left his mouth when he was beset on all sides by the cheerleaders and the rest of the rumor mongers, all of them nattering away from all sides at the same time.

"Sensei! Why didn't you tell us you and Kino-sensei were dating!?" Kakizaki Misa asked, looking deliciously scandalized by the statement, a flush on her face that could rival Nodoka's at her best.

"Yeah sensei!" Sakurako cheered, a little heart in her mouth as she held up a picture of him and Makoto walking arm in arm on the beach, most likely taken when she'd dragged him to the water "How long you been going out huh?"

"Is she your girlfriend sensei?!" Makie asked, the energetic gymnast/Baka Pink's face lighting up with excitement as she held both hands to her cheeks, eyes sparkling "You two look so good together!"

"Like beauty and the beast." Evangeline noted from the back of the class, earning giggles from the class, much to her annoyance, as she hadn't meant to join in the rabble. It'd make her guilty by association after all.

"Still, this is quite scandalous Sensei!" Asakura pointed out, holding a microphone under the stunned Tantei's nose, a smile on her face "Don't you know relationships with co-workers is prohibited? You could get in trouble for this!

"Screw that!" Haruna cut in, leaning in close with a hot flush on her face, much to Kuwabara's discomfort "What we really want to know is: You do her yet?"

The resulting squeal from the manga-ka's statement would've deafened Kuwabara had he not already been turned to an incomprehensible lump of stone from the shock, a reaction that no male anywhere could fault him for.

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"Shizuru-chan…" Botan muttered shaking her head in disbelief as she helped carry Kuwabara's elder, supposedly wiser sister back home "You really need to stop competing with Atsuko-san…"

"I'll get as want as I drunka be…" Shizuru murmured unintelligently, waving a hand in dismissal, her cheek brushing against Botan's as they staggered along the corridor "Baka Kazu…making my head hurt…"

Lately, the elder Kuwabara's sixth sense had being going off like a Chinese fireworks display, always centered around her younger brother getting into messes that made her want to strangle him and protect him at the same time. The conflicting emotions, apparently equal in strength, gave the normally reserved woman the mother of all migraines, so strong in fact, that she'd shaved the head of some politician's wife in her store, and had only avoided being sued by the woman being a trendsetter and turning it into the next big thing.

So naturally, in order to alleviate the pain, she'd gotten together with Yusuke's mom and challenged the older woman to see who could outlast the other in a chugging contest, which in retrospect she probably didn't think through enough. Shizuru might have a good head for drink, but she was going up against the woman that gave birth to Urameshi Yusuke. There could only be one outcome.

"At least Atsuko-san called you a cab…"Botan muttered, recalling the phone call from the woman telling her to wait outside the Kuwabara home for Shizuru "But really, it's Kuwabara-kun's job to make reckless mistakes, not you!" she complained, dragging the woman into her room.

"Aw quit complainin'…" Shizuru slurred, her hand rubbing idly against Botan's shirt, making the bluenette gasp at the unexpected touch "Y'know…" the taller woman noted, her breath laced with booze as she smiled up at the ferrywoman "you smell good…"

"Shizuru-san!" the ferrywoman yelped, struggling to drop the woman onto the bed and make a dash for the exits, only to topple onto it herself, the heavier woman landing on top of her and pinning her down "What are you-EEEEEE!!!!!"

Needless to say, Shizuru's long endured dry streak, brought on by being too cool and aloof to attract normal guys, was soon brought to an abrupt end.

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"So help me I'm going to MUDER Asakura." The tantei growled hours later, head slumped onto a café table, gripped in his hands as he resisted the urge to put his words into action "And Saotome too! They're making my life HELL!"

Across the globe, countless martial artists sneezed, wondering why on earth the felt a surge of pity go through them.

"Oh lighten up." Evangeline scoffed, sitting across from the man and sipping an espresso with a mocking lilt to her smirk, "you should've known that rumors would start flying when you decided to play 'keep away' with Kino at the beach."

"We were just having fun!" Kuwabara snapped back, glaring at the nosferatu balefully, before gripping his head in frustration "And that Haruna! Coming out with something like that! What if one of the staff heard it?!"

"They'd brush it off as the usual 3A madness." Evangeline replied with the benefit of experience "Seriously, if they reacted to every whisper of scandal that came from our class they'd be at it all day. Takahata used to smoke five packs a day to handle the stress."

"Do tell…" Kuwabara grumbled feeling a little better despite himself, taking a sip of his Perrier with an exhausted sigh "But still, they shouldn't go around saying things like that…S'not proper."

"Who cares about proper?" Evangeline snorted, smirking up at her roommate/emergency food supply coyly over the rim of her cup "Not me, that's for sure. Things are more exciting with a bit of chaos mixed in."

"Seeing as you're idea of a good time is to traumatize Negi-bozu, I'm inclined to disbelieve you." Kuwabara deadpanned, earning another coy smirk from the blonde as she sipped her espresso "And just what are you doing here anyway? Don't you have phys. Ed next?"

"I'm excused." Eva shot back, lifting up a pass-slip between her fingers like a calling card, a smug smirk on her lips "Besides, I needed to talk to you about the pactio without everyone eavesdropping."

"Yeah I've been wondering about this thing too." Kuwabara muttered, pulling out the card he'd formed with Konoka with a flinch "Dunno if magic's my thing, seeing all the trouble it brings."

"That's just because the boya wasn't ready to be sent out yet." Evangeline countered with a scoff "Prodigy or not he should've at least gotten a years experience before being assigned here, if only to better learn the nuances of social graces."

"Like not accidentally stripping teenage girls whenever he sneezes?" Kuwabara quipped, the two of them sharing a brief chuckle over Negi's habits "Or how to avoid bringing up a girl's body in arguments?"

"The very same." Evangeline scoffed, shaking her head in amusement "In that, at least, he's his father's son. Nagi suffered from the same 'foot-in-mouth' tendencies as well…though he tended to be less apologetic about them." She snorted, draining her cup in one go "Now about the benefits of pactio…"

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"Kino-sensei's really athletic…" Ako noted with amazement, watching the brunette, dressed in her green tracksuit pants and a white vest as she joined in on a little basketball game with the class.

"Not to mention stacked." Yuna noted with a cheeky grin, watching the woman's assets bounce temptingly beneath the vest "F-cup at least, maybe even a G-cup!" she nodded in approval "I can see why Kuwabara-sensei's hooked on her, I'm straight and even I can tell she's made of pure win."

"Yuna!" Makie gasped, the gymnast blushing scarlet at her friend's daring, looking towards their new phys-ed instructor with a slight, guilty blush, "Though I have to agree…she's got a great figure."

"She could've been a model." Okochi Akira noted, the tall girl marveling at their sensei's long legs and tall frame. She'd always been a bit nervous about her height, despite fellow classmates Kaede and Mana being just as tall, if taller, and it was heartening to see another woman adapt so effectively to it.

"Does seem kinda a waste doesn't it?" Kazumi agreed, the paparazzi snapping off candid shots of the woman to post on the school website "Though Kuwabara-sensei probably wouldn't have stood a chance if she did."

"Don't be mean!" Sakurako giggled, the rest of the group joining in, drawing Makoto's attention towards them, the brunette's woman's intuition telling her she didn't wanna get involved with whatever they were so amused with.

'Reminds me of the times that we used to gossip about each other's love lives.' She noted, recalling how her old friends would get together and basically spill the beans on their significant others, those who had one anyways.

Usagi and Ami were always good for a laugh or three, one so clumsy she could trip on air, the other so shy she'd probably melt if she blushed any harder. Rei, and her crush on Yuichiro, were a good source of amusement too, only curtailed by her habit of hurling fireballs whenever she was pushed too far.

'I wonder if Minako-chan found anyone yet?' the brunette sighed, looking up at the sky at the memory of her fellow, at the time, single. The blonde was always looking for romance, defiant in the face of the 'curse' she claimed to be under to be forever devoid of love.

Sighing at the memory, internally wishing her friend all the luck she deserved, the brunette turned only to find her class, most of them anyways, looking at her with barely concealed bemusement that set her hackles on edge. She hadn't felt this many eyes on her since that time she and the others had fought of a tentacle Youma at an otaku convention. So many wandering hands were burned that day.

"Kino-sensei!" Sakurako called out cheerfully, waving at the tall brunette with her pompoms along with the rest of the cheerleaders "The Mahora Cheerleaders fully support your love for Kuwabara-sensei!"

"Say WHAT?!" Makoto gaped, face turning an interesting shade of magenta as the rest of the class joined in the cheer, some of them setting off fireworks that spelled out Kuwa-Kino $ Eva, much to her mortification "What are you-?!"

"No point in hiding it sensei!" Kazumi countered, holding a photo of her and Kuwabara from the beach, the big lug looking a little lopsided as she tugged on his arm "You and Kuwabara-sensei sure took advantage of that resort trip huh?"

"Kinky sensei!" Fuka cheered, Fumika giggling along side her twin as they danced merrily around the stammering brunette, who was too shocked to process what the hell was going on to counter the accusation.

"So spill it…" Haruna asked, the deranged manga-ka and bane of Kuwabara's existance standing on tiptoe, and still not coming anywhere near the taller woman's ear, as she asked the dreaded question "You two do it yet?"

"HARUNA!" Ayaka shrilled, judo-chopping the perverted manga-ka in the center of the head, earning a spurt of blood for her trouble as Haruna collapsed with a gibber onto the floor "Bad enough you torment Kuwabara-sensei! Have some decency woman!"

"This coming from the girl that hired me to take candid camera shots of Negi-kun for her personal photo album?" Kazumi asked cheekily, her words jabbing into Ayaka as the rest of the girls dog piled her, wanting to see the contents of said album.

'Freaks!' Chisame swore, trembling violently as she pressed her glasses up on her nose with a twitching finger 'I'll admit Kuwabara-sensei's a lot more normal than I thought, but what the hell was with him falling off the roof!? Not to mention taking a barbell to the brain and surviving!'

"Things have gotten a lot more interesting since Kuwabara-sensei and Negi-bozu came, de gozaru." Kaede opined cheerfully from the net idols right, startling Chisame with her sudden proximity "Wouldn't you agree, Hasegawa-han?"

"I wouldn't know!" the bespectacled idol hissed, backing away from Baka Blue like she carried the plague of stupidity, not wanting to be 'tainted' any more than she already had by her eccentric classmates, only to yelp as she was literally absorbed into the full scale riot as the dust ball fighting over Ayaka's album rumbled past, Makoto too dumbstruck to try and separate them.

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"…and that basically covers it." Evangeline finished, sipping her tea regally as she watched Kuwabara process the cards functions with a slightly dazed look on his face.

But then it was understandable really, most people needed to train for years to develop special abilities, Evangeline had been no exception, and even now kept up a fierce regimen to ensure she remained at her peak, regardless of how diminished said peak had become. For you to be able to gain a magical boost in speed, strength and defense, coupled with a unique magical artifact that in some circumstances could make you a one-man-army through a virtually nondescript piece of card, was amazing. The fact it would only cost you a kiss was simply the icing on the cake.

"S'a lot ta take in…" Kuwabara admitted, whistling softly as he turned the card over between his fingers "I mean, I'm surprised you guys are so secretive if you can pull out stuff like this to fight with."

"My point exactly." Evangeline admitted, sipping at her tea "Or rather it would have been, had I not lived the past few years in the normal world." She looked at the man with a serious expression "Don't get me wrong, magic wont make you invincible, a more powerful mage and partner combo can easily defeat fledglings like the boya and Konoka, even if they contracted with the entire class." She snorted "That, and the world of mundanes is not to be underestimated, I once commanded fear in the hearts of mages throughout the magical world, but even I wouldn't measure up to a well placed tactical nuke."

Kuwabara winced at the imagery, secretly of the opinion that if Evangeline and a Nuke collided the outcome wouldn't be good for anyone involved, but shrugged it off with a grunt. "So basically, for example, I could tap into Konoka-chan's magic through this card, right?" he asked, earning a nod for his query "But what good's that gonna do if I don't have the card on me?"

"None at all." Evangeline admitted with approval, glad to see the man was using his head, unlike many a recent pactio receiver she'd met "But in your case that shouldn't be a problem, there aren't that many people in your fighting class in the human world nowadays…and those that ARE aren't the type to go around picking fights." She shrugged "Still, having a little magical help can do wonders, even a gorilla like you could pull of a few basic spells if you're lucky."

Kuwabara twitched, wanting nothing more than to bop the nosferatu upside the head, but the fact was she'd brought the conversation exactly where he'd been hoping it'd go. "Yeah…only problem is I don't think I got any magic in me." He pointed out, leaning against the table "I mean I can materialize my Reiken, but that's mostly because my Reikan's pretty top notch."

"Materialization is an abstract form of magic." Evangeline admitted, waving her hand dismissively, "Most people don't bother with it because anything created by magic usually only lasts as long as the magic fuelling it does." She looked him over carefully "Truth be told it's best suited for combat junkies that like to have a ready supply of weapons about them, or for things you don't want to waste time looking for in a pinch."

"My Reiken last until I will them to fade or withdraw my reiki." Kuwabara pointed out, summoning reiki and creating a dagger that, compared to his earlier attempts against Tsuruko, looked relatively solid.

"And they've improved in quality too." Evangeline noted, smirking at the sight of the glowing blade in approval, as it looked a lot more threatening than the fuzzy, light-saber knock-offs he'd wielded before "Still, you need to start branching out a bit more. Yes swords may suit an in-fighter like yourself, but you still need to work creating ranged attacks, hell even a spear or something would be good, especially if you make several at once."

"Like…making weapons on the fly out of thin air?" Kuwabara asked, looking at the girl incredulously asshe smirked at him over the rim of her cup "I'd ask if that was even possible if it weren't for the fact I've seen something like it."

"At the Dark Tournament?" Evangeline asked, smirking as the Tantei's eyes widened in shock "Don't look so surprised sensei, Tatsumiya suspected it first, I merely used her suspicions and Chachamaru's data gathering skills to find the contestant list from the last tourney." She snorted "It wasn't that hard to put two and two together, the number of people with power akin to A-class demons with a name like Kuwabara can be counted on one finger."

"Nice to be noticed…" Kuwabara muttered, recalling how, even after the tournament, it'd mostly been Yusuke, Kurama and Hiei's names that had gotten around the demon grapevine. True it'd made having a NORMAL life easier, namely because he didn't spend all his time looking over his shoulder for demon ambushers, but it miffed him that, despite being the one that wielded the power to slice through the Kekkai that even S-class demons couldn't budge, the three kings hadn't so much as sent him a postcard.

"Oh don't worry," Evangeline assured him, the chibi-vampire smirking coyly at the man "I've no intention of spreading the word on the grapevine, quite frankly it's none of my business." She smirked at him "Besides, I can't very well have attention shining on my roommate, not after Konoe went to all the effort of hushing up my whereabouts."

"Decent of you." Kuwabara snorted, looking the diminutive spell caster over with a sardonic smirk, just knowing that he wasn't about to get out of this scott-free "And lemme guess, all it's gonna cost me is a pint or two?"

"I think I'll take you up on that…" Evangeline admitted, smirking at him coyly, as she hadn't really considered that approach "but the fact is that, like it or not, you've caught my interest," he smirk turned decidedly sinister "and I'll be damned if I don't see just how far I can polish that ability of yours before you break."

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Shizuru paused, looking up towards the wall with a frown, blowing a lock of tousled hair out of her face "Kazuma seems to be getting himself into more trouble again…" she muttered aloud, before shrugging offhandedly "Meh…he'll live…" she muttered, turning back to the task at hand, namely the trembling, panting form of Botan beneath her "Now then…where were we?"

Needless to say, the bluenette ferrywoman wouldn't be making an appearance at work for a while.

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Cue the Nadesico Music!

Narrator: The Training begins!

Botan: HIEEEEE! Shizuru-san!

Narrator: Will our heroes survive the challenges ahead?

Shizuru: You're cute when you blush...

Narrator: Or will they fall prey to the temptations of the Dark Evangel?

Eva: Come here...'sensei'...

Narrator: But behold! A vision of beauty to the rescue!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: Revelation! Cladestine meetiungs in the dark!

Botan: Oh god...wait...what're you going to do with-EEEYYYYAAAGHHH?!?!?!

R&R if you want to continue.

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	36. Chapter 36

You know the drill

Hit it.

_Heaven or hell?_

_LET'S RAWK!_

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36th period.

Negi dodged a strike from Chachamaru, racing along the marble floor of the arena with his teeth clenched as Chachazero descended from on high with one of her oversized knives clutched between her tiny fingers, cackling madly as she tried her merry best to chop something off. Not that the Welshman made it easy for the dynamic duo, oh no, wind barriers, Lightning series Sagitta Magica, not to mention a few paltry illusions were hurled at the sisters in order to give him some breathing room.

Sadly, being artificial in nature, illusion designed to inhibit the human senses failed against Chachamaru's advanced motion detection systems, and Chachazero, being a magically animated doll with a sadistic streak that rivaled Chucky, simply wasn't affected by such paltry tricks. That being said the larger of the two had been updated with accommodating insulation against electrical attacks, and repetitive use of his wind barriers on served to exhaust the youth and slow him down.

As if to prove this, the second his barrier dropped after the latest clash, Negi found himself wobbling on his feet, a bout of temporary vertigo rushing over him from so many rapid fire spells, only for Chachamaru to drive his face into the arena floor, Chachazero's knife stabbing down scant millimeters from his face.

"Time: one minute, 20 seconds." The gynoid reported dutifully, releasing the blubbering ten-year old with an honest apology as she climbed to her feet, Chachazero clambering onto his head with a twisted cackle "You've improved sensei."

"No need to flatter me Chachamaru-san…" Negi sighed, accepting the offered hand up, Chachazero clinging to the back of his head with a smirk "Evangeline…that is master, said you shouldn't let up just because she isn't here to supervise."

"He's right you know." Chachazero agreed, cackling evilly as she kneaded her fingers into the boy's head, earning soft complaints from him that she ignored "I mean you know what she'll do if she finds out you've been taking it easy on him."

Negi trembled, instantly becoming a nervous wreck at the sadistic puppet's words as the image of Evangeline, decked out in her cloak and blood trailing from her smirk loomed over his head, the words 'Punishment!' and 'Disobedience!' hovering behind her.

"Speaking of she who must be obeyed…" Chamo quipped, the Ermine trying to diffuse the situation before Negi suffered a coronary, or went bald, whichever came first "Just what's she been up to all this time?"

"Master is overseeing Kuwabara-sensei's training as well." Chachamaru admitted, earning a stunned look from Negi "Since Kuwabara-sensei has literally no experience with magic, she deemed it best to reserve today to 'break him in'."

'Why don't I like the sound of that?' Chamo and Negi thought in tandem, even as a magical explosion rocked the tower, their eyes widening as a spear of ice crashed down between them, landing right between Negi's legs, missing his little wand by inches.

"Whoops…sorry there Boya…" Evangeline chuckled, hovering down towards them, her arms crossed before her, Kuwabara holding on for dear life as she lowered the taller sensei to the floor "Got a bit carried away sparring with Kuwabara here I almost forgot about you."

'If that's forgetting I don't wanna see what she's like when she's focused.' Chamo thought blithely, the Ermine sweatdropping as Chachamaru patted the trembling Negi down comfortingly, the Welshman snapping out of his trauma to ward off her questing hands as she tried to check for damages "So how'd it go big guy?" the ermine asked Kuwabara, who was dressed in a vest and tracksuit pants "Learn anything?"

"Yeah, Eva-chan knows how to hold a grudge." Kuwabara muttered, popping his shoulder joints with a shrug, dusting off a thin coating of ice from his person "I mean I've seen ice masters before, but some of the stuff she does makes 'em look like ice-cream vendors."

"Flattery will get you everywhere sensei." Evangeline snorted, having actually enjoyed her work out with the tantei, actually having to pull off some higher level spells to keep him at a distance, before looking up at him mockingly, a hand on her hip as she spoke "Though it won't get you out of materialization practice, I don't care how hard it is I want you to keep going until you can create those swords of yours instinctively…and more than two at a time."

"I only got two hands." Kuwabara grumbled, though he did hold up his hands, twin katanas of reiki forming in each, their blades as solid as the one he'd used back in Kyoto. He had to admit it was getting easier and easier to visualize the weapons these days, so much so that Eva had him trying to materialize more than his usual two, usually by destroying the one's he summoned in a clash of magic versus reiki.

'That 'Executioner' whatever it was of hers ain't no-how normal.' He muttered, recalling the sub-zero chill of the magical blade Eva had used to sever his Reiken when in close only to blink as Evangeline stumbled slightly, Chachamaru supporting the magi as she grumbled.

"Looks like today's lessons tired me out more than I thought." The nosferatu admitted, snorting at her weakness, before eyeing the decidedly nervous males coyly "I think I'll be taking my down-payment for the next class early."

"Again?" Kuwabara grumbled, frowning at his roommate in annoyance while Negi cowered just behind him "I ain't a damn juice dispenser y'know. Can't ya have Konoemon pull some strings at th' blood drive or somethin'?"

"What? And limit myself to packed food when I have two perfectly good suppliers at my beck and call?" Evangeline countered, smirking coyly at the flush that spread across Negi's face as she stroked his cheek, noting the slight frown on Kuwabara's as the older sensei watched her like a hawk "Unless you have some complaint, Sensei?"

Kuwabara grunted and averted his eyes as Evangeline took Negi's tuition fee, not liking the boy's gasps of discomfort any more than he had the first time, but knowing it was better than Eva simply TAKING the runt's blood. For one thing, with Kuwabara around to share the load, Negi wasn't staggering back home like a zombie every evening like the youth had feared. And at the very least, should Evangeline actually try anything, he was here to act as chaperone.

The tantei blinked suddenly as a pair of long, slender arms encircled his neck, looking round in surprise to find Evangeline, in her adult form, snuggling up to him like the bloodsucker she was, his face turning crimson at the feeling of her deceptively real cleavage pressing against his torso.

"See to it the boya is washed and sent home, Chachamaru." The Dark Evangel called out to the gynoid, who was supporting the tired looking child-sensei tenderly in her embrace, the poor boy looking most unsettled "I'll see to Kuwabara-sensei…personally."

"Yes, Mistress." The gynoid offered, sending one last, almost apologetic look towards the flushing tantei, before teleporting out of the area towards the cabin, no doubt to give Negi a quick scrub down before escorting him home.

"Ya really need ta take it easy on th' kid." Kuwabara grunted, struggling to remain standing as Evangeline's larger form weighed him down "I mean he's only ten, taking too much at once could-!"

"Do not instruct a vampire on how to feed, sensei" Evangeline chuckled, placing a manicured finger to his lips to silence him, leaning in close to his neck and smirking as he shivered despite himself "And don't worry about my taking too much…" she assured him, rubbing her nose against his vein "if I took to much from him, I wouldn't have room for yours…" she nipped him slightly, causing him to jump "and we can't have that can we?"

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Makoto blinked as she entered the cottage she shared with Kuwabara just as Negi, dressed in his usual suit and looking flushed from a shower, and an immaculate Chachamaru passed her in the entryway, the duo offering a polite greeting before walking out the door into the evening air. 'What on earth?' she wondered, looking out after the unusual couple in confusion 'What could Negi-kun have been doing to drain him so? And just where is he going with Chachamaru at this hour? Don't they know it's almost curfew?'

"Don't worry, Kino-sensei." A voice called out, Makoto whipping round to find Evangeline, dressed in her silk jammies, standing behind her with a smug look on her face, arms crossed confidently before her "Negi-sensei just stayed up a little late last night and it's getting to him now. Chachamaru offered to walk him home since Kuwabara-sensei's too tired."

'Kuwabara? Tired?' the brunette wondered, trying to pit the two words together with her memory of her energetic Todai neighbor and frowning as they failed to click 'That's odd…Today wasn't too bad as lessons go, and he seemed pretty spry when we met for lunch…' She trailed off, realizing she'd been ignoring Eva all this time, only to find the blonde lolita looking up at her with an evaluating stare, the unsettling green eyes locking onto her own and sending a shiver up the older woman's spine.

"Where did you say you were from, sensei?" Evangeline asked, the question innocent enough, but for some reason Makoto got the feeling she was being interrogated "I mean from before you came to Mahora and all, Kuwabara-sensei and Negi-sensei are always going on about their hometowns."

"Well…I'm from Juuban actually." Makoto began uncertainly, before frowning and straightening up, unnerving stare or no, she was this girl's teacher, and wasn't about to be put on the defensive "And what about YOU Eva-chan? Are you from abroad?"

"Wow, finally put that together did you?" Evangeline chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief and smirking at the slight twitch her actions inspired in the brunette "I'm from Europe, or at least I was born there." A slight frown crossed her features "I traveled a lot with this man…but he dumped me here with the Dean and ran off to tour the world alone…bastard."

Makoto's frown faded, a look of pity filling her kind green eyes that almost made Evangeline retch. It wasn't the first time she'd manipulated a faculty member with the old 'abandoned child' routine, as it was actually in her official file that Nagi (listed simply as 'parent') had left her here under the Dean's care until she graduated.

Not that she'd be graduating anytime soon mind you, hell with each graduating class the dean had to work a little magic, technical and actual, to ensure Evangeline vanished from the minds of all who knew her, excepting those staff members that were a mages themselves to avoid drawing attention to her.

Oh Eva had TRIED simply graduating normally, putting that little bit of extra effort into the lessons and actually scoring in the top percentile. She'd spent a fortune on age disguise potions and the like to fit in, as with her magic sealed she couldn't very well assume an older form, and had actually held out a hope that she'd be on Nagi's tail within a few years, which was nothing to a High Daylight walker of her caliber.

But then, just when she was actually slated to graduate with her fellows, the dean called her to his office to relay some last minute bad news, namely that Nagi had, predictably, botched things up again.

It turned out that the Infernus Scholasticus curse that bound her to Mahora had been drafted as a form of anti-truancy spell centuries ago by ancient magi that were sick of tracking down their errant students. The spell, it seemed, would only wear off after the victim reached a specific age, namely their late teens to early twenties, and were handed their diploma or relevant symbol of graduation.

Now while weaker vampires tended to age, albeit slowly, if they didn't feed regularly, Evangeline, being a high daylight walker, the pinnacle of vampire hierarchy, literally had not aged a day since she'd been turned, a condition that she had long grown used to, if only because she could do nothing about it. But the second the dean had dropped the bombshell that Nagi's curse had not weakened in the slightest, and was if anything stronger than ever, the Dark Evangel had nearly gone on a murderous frenzy, only her lack of power and the absence of a full moon keeping the old man from becoming a popsicle.

And so she'd languished in her prison for the past fifteen years, rarely showing to class and devising new, more brutal punishments for Negi's father when she caught up with him again, as the agreement to behave and act like a good girl was officially, in her opinion, over.

'And then 'Sasquatch' and 'Boya' showed up.' She muttered, a wry smirk crossing her features as she recalled her initial plan to drain Negi of his blood, and the after effects of drinking Kuwabara's 'The Boya's blood weakens the seal, but can't break it unless I drain him dry.' She noted, frowning at how the idea seemed to…unnerve her now 'And as for Kuwabara-sensei's…' she smirked at her new, slightly larger night clothes 'Well, provided he sticks around I should be out of her sooner than I thought…'

She blinked as someone ruffled her hair, looking up to find Makoto beaming down at her kindly "Don't worry about it." the brunette offered, smiling confidently as she clenched her fist "One day you'll bump into that jerk again…and when you do you can clobber him for all the grief he put you through!"

Eva blinked, wondering for a moment if the brunette had read her mind, or was one of the Dean's trusted inner circle, only to relax as she recognized the understanding look in the taller woman's eyes as sympathy, the type only one who'd suffered a similar tragedy could comprehend.

"Oh you can count on it sensei…" the High Daylight Walker assured the woman, her smirk growing decidedly more smug as Makoto walked on past, determined to wash off the day's troubles in the shower "Oh yes indeed…"

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Makoto, dressed in a towel and not much else, walked confidently down the hall to the bathroom, looking forwards to a nice hot shower to ease the stiffness out of her muscles after the long day. The conversation with Evangeline aside, it had been a pretty normal day at Mahora, as even the overly energetic 3A had generally behaved themselves.

Then again, with the threat of Makoto promising to put them through her special 'suicide drills', which could drive pro athletes into the dirt, the girls did well not to misbehave in HER class.

Slipping into the bathroom, Makoto was forced to blink as she came face to face with a veritable wall of steam, staggering blindly forward to locate the fan, only to hiss as she stubbed her toe against the toilet, stumbling backwards on one foot from the pain, only to curse as her leg bumped up against the bathtub, sending her crashing into it back first, water flying in all directions.

"Ite…" she muttered, holding the back of her head where it had collided with the wall of the bathroom, her other hand going to feel her poor abused backside "Now I know how Usagi-chan feels…she's the one that's supposed to trip over her own…feet?"

The brunette blinked, looking down at the end of the path to see that yes, there WAS a pair of feet near the taps, toes sticking just above the surface of the water. As she stared at them, wondering in her dazed state where they could've come from, she dimly became aware that she was currently sitting on a pair of legs, her left hand, which she'd stuck down to check her rump for damage, was fondling something that she somehow KNEW wasn't the railing. For one thing it was underwater, and almost as thick as her wrist.

Turning nervous, and steadily growing more so, green eyes to her left, praying against all hope that Eva or Chachamaru had left one of their weird toys in the bathtub, as the blonde had no shortage of dolls, in all shapes and sizes littered about the cottage, the Phys. Ed instructor couldn't help but feel her face heat up as her pleas went unheard, eyes widening in horror at the sight of Kuwabara's face looking back at her through the fog.

"K-Kuwabara!" she yelped, backpedaling awkwardly in the tub, wincing as she pressed against the taps, one leg draped over the edge, the other nearly smacking the man in the face as she tried to cover herself and look away at the same time "I didn't mean, that is to say-!"

A snort paused her in mid panic, the brunette looking up to see that her fellow educator was, in fact, fast asleep, leaning back against the tub, the water marks coming all the way up to his chin, having evidently fallen asleep in the soak.

'He really was tired…' she noted in surprise, looking at her college buddy in concern, as it wasn't that uncommon for people to almost drown because they took a nap in the tub 'If I hadn't fallen in when I did…' she muttered, noting the man's damp chin with concern, only to flush as she realized she was still sitting in the tub with him, and that a certain part of him she'd felt up a few seconds ago was currently the only thing between them, her blush deepening as she gaped at it in alarm 'Wow…looks like Minako-chan won the bet…'

"Kino-sensei…" Chachamaru's voice called out, the brunette paling at the sound and whipping round to find the gynoid standing in the doorway, face expresionless as ever, a back-scrubber and face cloth held in her hands "Will you and Kuwabara-sensei be requiring assistance?"

"N-No!" Makoto choked out, the mortified brunette pulling the curtains across herself and her impromptu bathing partner, giggling a little TOO cheerfuly to be believed as she waved a hand at the gynoid "I just…I didn't-!"

"Very well," Chachamaru agreed politely, the scrubbing brush and cloth vanishing from her hands, which she clasped before her respectfully "I regret that I have other things to attend to, so could you please see to it that Kuwabara-sensei is put to bed?"

Makoto let out a small choking noise that somehow must have translated to a 'yes' because the gynoid simply bowed, closing the door after her as she went about her business, leaving the brunette to stare at her unconscious friend in alarm.

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"I could start a whole damn series here." Evangeline chuckled, the chibi-vampire sipping the tea Takamichi'd brought her from his trip, a sadistic smirk on her face as Chachamaru re-entered the dining area "Hell maybe I'll sell the idea to Saotome and demand a cut of the profits."

Chachamaru said nothing, but internally she felt something akin to…displeasure, at how her master was reacting to the situation. She couldn't explain it, but the idea of Kuwabara and Kino-sensei together in a bath, scrubbing each other's backs, pressing against each other accidentally due to the confined space of the tub…

She blinked at the sound of breaking china reached her audio sensors, looking down to find she'd crushed one of her master's teacups in her grip, the shards dropping from her hand to the tabletop.

"Baka robot!" Evangeline snapped, hurling a cushion at the gynoid's head in her anger, eyes blazing "Watch what you're doing! If that had been one of the good china I'd have sent you to Hakase in a matchbox!"

"Forgive me…master…" Chachamaru offered, sweeping the shards into a bin where they wouldn't cause any damage "I was simply too focused on the replay of Negi-sensei's training today and forgot to readjust my grip pressure accordingly."

"Just see it doesn't happen again…" Evangeline muttered, though she did shoot the gynoid a suspicious look as she watched her tidy up. You didn't live as long as Evangeline had by not being suspicious or aware of your surroundings, let alone the people you allowed to inhabit those surroundings.

Now true she didn't give Chachamaru much thought, as the gynoid was not only hardwired to obey her every order, but was dependant on Evangeline's magic to keep her charged up. Genius or not, Hakase had yet to find a means of powering the Gynoid's magical core without relying on a magus.

But lately her ministra had been acting a little odd, falling into silent contemplation at odd times, sending meaningful looks in her direction and occasionally voicing protests, albeit minor ones, about the orders given, usually the ones that involved striking Negi.

'Magic and Technology have never been on stable ground.' She admitted, watching the gynoid whip up another batch of tea without having to be asked 'True when Hakase approached me with the idea I was mostly in it for the kicks, but clearly there's something else going on here than simply a glitch.'

She shrugged, passing it off as inconsequential for now. So long as whatever was going on in her servant's head didn't interfere with her duties, she could start fantasizing about the idiots for all Eva cared.

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Makoto, her face a deep shade of crimson, dropped Kuwabara onto his bed with a sigh of relief, having dragged the man across the hallway from the bathroom when she was certain the cost was clear, surprised by just how heavy her friend really was, and trying all the while not to think about what was slapping against her leg as she walked.

'If anyone had seen that…' she muttered, fighting down a mortified flush only to shiver at a sudden chill, looking around desperately for something to wear, eyes falling on one of the man's oversized t-shirts, pulling it on hurriedly in case anyone walked in. 'It's warm…' she noted, blushing slightly as she felt the fabric over, only to bite back a curse a she realized that even with the additional foot he had on her, the shirt still fell short of covering a certain area, forcing her to ferret out a pair of pajama shorts from the pile of laundry Chachamaru had stacked on his desk chair.

'God if Ami-chan could see me now…' the brunette muttered, recalling her reserved, bookworm roommate and friend with a snort. The bluenette would have had a panic attack if she'd been in the same situation, that or pass out from the shame. 'Still, at least it's Kuwabara.' She reasoned, looking over at the big lug, snoring away on his bed without a care in the world, 'If it were anyone else…I don't wanna think about what could've happened.'

The comatose instructor grunted, rolling over slightly and inadvertently mooning the flushing brunette, who turned away and looked about the room for a pair of pants. After all it wasn't the first time she'd changed someone too out of it to do it themselves, priestess or not, Rei could sure chug back the cans when she wanted to, and the less said about how grabby Minako-chan could get after a few cans of Ebisu the better.

'Just don't look.' She repeated to herself, pulling the shorts up his legs while looking the other way, her eyes shut so tight it hurt 'Nothing to see…well there is but…BAD THOUGHTS!'

Sayo, invisible to the woman's eyes, watched with a feeling akin to confusion and jealousy as the well stacked brunette continued to alternate between caring for Kuwabara and smacking her head against a wall.

Part of her, the part that had been an innocent schoolgirl, was giggling at the situation before her, proof that no matter what the times, all girls loved a scandal to gossip over, whilst another part, the part of her that had been a lonely ghost, felt something akin to anger at the intrusion.

After all, she'd only just gotten an older brother figure in her afterlife, at least in comparison to how long she'd been dead, and now some stranger ran the risk of taking him away.

'Ah!' she exclaimed, as Makoto's last attempt to purge her thoughts proved too effective, the brunette collapsing onto the bed next to the recumbent Kuwabara, out like a light 'Oooh…this isn't good…' she stammered, flailing her arms around in a panicked matter, only to widen as Kuwabara, apparently sensing warmth, pulled the unconscious woman closer to him 'REALLY NOT GOOD! BOTAN-SAN! HELP!'

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"You really need to stop trying to escape." Shizuru muttered, as she stuffed Botan's spirit back into her human world vessel, the bluenette having tried to make her escape while the elder Kuwabara sibling was in the shower "I might not be as strong as Kazuma, but my Reikan's sharper, so I can catch you a lot easier."

Botan squirmed, whishing fervently that she'd just left Shizuru well enough alone in Atsuko's care, as she struggled to undo the bonds keeping her strapped to the bed, only to pale as Shizuru leant over he, smirking down at the trembling ferry woman with a hungry expression "Now then…ready for round two?"

"Shizuru-san?" A familliar voice called out from the hallway, the duo on the bed looking round as the door to the bedroom opened to reveal a familliar redhead figure standing there, dressed in Slacks and a Pink Shirt "Are you in here? I thought I'd return your...book?"

Kurama, for indeed it was him, trailed off, the aforementioned piece of literature falling from his suddenly nerveless fingers, his normally impeccable cool completely shattered by the sight of the Elder Kuwabara Straddling a hogtied Botan, both of them clad only in their birthday suits.

If he'd been the same Youko Kurama from 300 years ago, he'd have probably ripped his clothes off and pounced on the duo, claiming them again and again till they screamed for it, but life as Shuichi Minamio had dulled those old instincts, and if anything, the memory of them made his discomfort and embarassment all the more pointed.

"Uh...yes..." he muttered, face actually turning a brighter shade of red than his hair as he turned, ever so slowly, to go back the way he came "Right...I can see you're...occupied at the moment...I'll just see myself ou-WT?!"

He yelped, emerald eyes widening in alarm as someone took a firm grip on his precious crimson locks and YANKED, dragging him off his feet and into a rather embarrasing hug, his eyes widening as he found his face planted between Shizuru's breasts, the elder Kuwabara smirking down at him.

"And where do you think YOU'Re going, foxy?" the elder Kuwabra sibling demanded, holding the former King of Thieves in place with one hand, the other trailing down to grab a certain part of his anatomy, earning a shocked gasp from the redhead "The more the merrier, right?

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At her home on the other side of town, Minamino Shiori looked up from preparing the evening meal, a look of confusion on her face as the picture of her familly, including her beloved son Shuichi, tilted on the wall, the frame cracked over the redhead's image.

The woman didn't know why, but she had the strangest urge to whip out a pair of fans and perform her cousin Nodoka's 'Grandbaby Dance', something she'd always considered the woman daft for growing up.

After all, what kind of ten year old creates a dance celebrating becoming a Grandmother?

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To Inuboy86, I hope this chapter met with your approval.

I'd actually intended to do this eariler, but the last Chapter dragged on and there wasn't much room/Time, so I multi-parted.

Cue the Nadesico Music.

Narrator: The FLowers of Youth BLOOM!

Kurama: Shizuru-san! Control Yoursel-THOSE ARE MY PANTS!

Narrator: A Blossom Plucked in the prime of it's life.

Kurama: WHAT'RE YOU JUST STANDING THERE FO-OARGH?! THAT'S AN OUT HOLE!

Narrator: However! The Blossoms of the past are just as sweet!

Makoto: Hey, why's everything so toned down? Did someone mess with the color button agan?!

Narrator: Memories of the past rise bidden from the heart!

Minako: WAI! We finally get a chapter!

Ami: Minako-chan! Please behave yourself!

Narrator: Such youth! Such PASSION!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: BLOOM! A College Menagé a quatre!

Rei: Who the hell is this pervert?! FIYAH SOUL!

Narrator: *Zoidberg warble*Wowoowoowoowoowoo!

R&R or no exposition for you!

* * *


	37. Chapter 37

Kukuku! The moment you've all been waiting for!

Revelation! How the hell did Kuwabara meet the senshi?!

Sadly, this is not 'that time', so you'll have to wait a bit longer to see why Makoto & co. trust our favourite reformed delinquent.

Heaven or Hell?

_LET'S RAWK!_

* * *

37th period.

Makoto stirred in her sleep, feeling a distinct chill settle over her and groaning in complaint, snuggling closer to her source of warmth as she tried to get back to sleep.

'Did I leave a window open?' She wondered, exhaling softly as she buried her face into her pillow, wondering when on earth it had gotten so hard 'So warm…' she thought, sighing contentedly as she snuggled closer to the source of the warmth, only for her eyes to widen as it moved beneath her, sitting up straight and gaping at the dozing form of Kuwabara, still bare-chested despite the pajama pants she'd put on him.

'Oh my GOD!' the brunette yelped, back pedaling whilst clapping her hands over her mouth, not trusting herself not to scream as she pressed up against the wall in a panic 'If anyone had seen that-!'

"Five more minutes sis…" Kuwabara grumbled, rolling over onto his left, presenting his back to the red faced woman, who calmed down as she realized she hadn't been noticed, only to blink as she got a good look at said back.

'So broad…' she noted, gazing at the defined muscles beneath his skin in appreciation. Kuwabara may not have been a martial artist, the big lug had admitted back during their university days that he didn't have the dedication for it, but it was clear he was no slouch when it came to fighting, especially if the tiny scars that littered his body were any indication. If Makoto wasn't used to being healed up after a fight she probably would've missed them, as whoever had treated the wounds left virtually no trace. But to someone who was used to magical first aid such as herself, it was easy to make out the almost invisible markings on his frame.

'What on earth have you been doing…Kuwabara?' she wondered, gazing over the collection of small scars that littered her friend's back, a shiver running up her spine as she recalled the one time she'd worried for his health.

* * *

_Tokyo University Co-ed Dorm, four years ago…_

"Yo! Kuwabara!" Makoto called out, dressed in a jumper and slacks as she stood outside her pompadour-sporting neighbor's door, a nervous looking Mizuno Ami at her side, the bluenette's usual blouse, skirt and jacket rustling in the morning breeze "You dead in there?"

"Ohayo…" Kuwabara greeted, the former tantei looking exhausted as he closed his door behind him, dressed in a yellow jacket, cream pants and red T-shirt, his book bag held in one hand as he used the other to lock up.

"Up late studying again huh?" Makoto noted with a wince, recognizing the symptoms from previous experience, before falling into step alongside their neighbor as the three of them made their way towards the campus at a steady pace.

"Big exam tomorrow." Kuwabara admitted with a jaw-cracking yawn, his book bag over one shoulder, free hand tucked into his pocket as he walked along "I'm trailin' a bit in Motivational Studies n'all that, so I figured I should hit the books a little harder a few days ago."

"Would you like to borrow my notes?" Ami asked, looking up at the taller teen nervously. It wasn't that she was afraid of him, after all, Kuwabara had been nothing but a perfect gentleman around her and Makoto, it was just that she couldn't shake the fact he looked, and sounded, like the yakuza thugs that had made travelling to school alone a nightmare until Makoto had shown up in Juban.

"That'd be a big help." Kuwabara agreed with a grateful smile, nodding his thanks at the genius bluenette as they walked along "Thanks fer the offer, Mizuno-san"

Ami blushed at the sincerity of his smile and looked away, stammering a 'not at all' under her breath even as Makoto looked back from waving at a group of classmates.

"So anyways," the tall brunette spoke up, looking up at her even taller neighbor conversationally "A bunch of friends are getting together tonight for a little karaoke," she smirked up at him appealingly "you wanna tag along?"

"Mako-chan…" Ami began, looking over at her roommate with mild-disapproval, though she knew in the long run that she'd just wind up at the bar with them anyways. It always ended up like that no matter HOW hard she put her foot down.

"Sounds like fun." Kuwabara admitted, an intrigued smile on his face as they walked along, as he'd actually missed the karaoke nights with his old gang "Gotta warn ya though," he chuckled, rubbing his neck "I ain't no Kitajima Saburo."

"Can't be much worse than Usagi-chan." Ami commented brightly, only to cover her mouth as she realized what she'd just said, blushing at the look on Makoto's face as the brunette smirked at her "Please don't tell her I said that!"

"Only if you come along like a good girl, Ami-chan." Makoto teased, the bluenette bowing her head in defeat while Kuwabara chuckled weakly, honestly pitying the poor girl for getting roped into the fun, only for the group to blink as the academy bell tolled.

"Crap! We're late!" Makoto yelled, the taller girl grabbing Ami's arm and dragging her friend towards the campus at top speed, much to the frantic bluenette's distress "Catch Ya later, Kuwabara!"

"Mako-chan! My class is the other WAYYYYYY-!"

* * *

_Todai Student quarter; After hours…_

"You're late." Rei grumbled, looking over Makoto and Ami as they sidled up to the curb the gang had agreed to meet up at. College had let out for the day, with only a few taking the night courses for the evening, and the fiery tempered law student wanted to get a head start on the festivities.

"Sorry!" Makoto offered, the tall brunette rubbing the back of her head apologetically as she offered her fiery tempered friend a weak smile "I couldn't decide what to wear and Ami-chan wouldn't leave her notes behind."

"Just because I'm going out to have fun doesn't mean I can skip out on studying." Ami replied defensively, matching the look Rei sent her with ne of her own "After all, I have mid-terms coming up soon and-!"

"You really need to lighten up, Ami-chan." Minako chuckled, sweat dropping as she cut the bluenette off mid lecture "I mean when are you going to have the time to cram when you're singing yourself hoarse on stage?"

"Minako-chan…" Ami sighed, looking over at the bubbly blonde with a long-suffering expression. She appreciated her fellow senshi's concern for her well being, after all, she'd had no friends prior to meeting Usagi, but Minako was just so…forward, in her bid to make those around her happy.

"Too bad Odango-Atama isn't here." Rei muttered, unable to believe the words had left her mouth even as she looked over the sheet of paper with a frown "Says here there's 50% off the entrance fee for groups of five or more."

"Not gonna be a problem then!" Makoto chirped, a small smile on her face as shethumbed over her shoulder, winking at the raven haired miko "I asked a friend of ours to tag along, figured the more the merrier."

"Oooooh! What's she like?" Minako asked eagerly, always willing to make a new friend, and honestly wondering what some of Makoto's classmates were like, since all four of them were in different sections of the campus for lessons.

"He actually." Makoto replied, earning a surprised look from Rei and an excitedly eager look from Minako,who could sense scandal a mile away "He's the guy I told you about before, the one living next door to Ami and me at the dorms."

"The guy with the mad street fighting skills?" Minako wondered, pressing her fingers to her lips as she recalled Makoto's description of the guy, envisioning a Ryu-look-alike standing over a pile of battered thugs, a perverse giggle escaping the senshi of love as she imagined just how 'skilled' he was.

"You asked a GUY out on our get together?" Rei grumbled, the fiery priestess crossing her arms across her chest with an annoyed look at the tall senshi of Jupiter, "I mean Minako I would expect, but you?"

"That's harsh Rei-chan…" Minako sniffled, pretending to be hurt by the raven-haired senshi's words "Just because you can't vent your frustrations on Usagi-chan doesn't mean you can pick on me!" she turned to Makoto with a grin as Rei sputtered incomprehensibly "But enough about that! What's this guy like Mako-chan?"

"He's alright…" Makoto admitted, sweat dropping at the look on her friends face,wondering just what she was getting her neighbour into, only to blink as the sound of footsteps drawing nearer caught her attention "Speak of the devil! Kuwabara!"

Minako whirled round, ready to greet Makoto and Ami's neighbor in all his bishounen glory, only to blink as the only person in the street turned out to be a guy she dimly recalled from the campus as one of those 'Avoid at all costs' delinquents, orange pompadour and all.

"Yo," Kuwabara greeted, the tall teen stepping up to the group with a nervous smile as he rubbed the back of his neck, shivering slightly at the looks he was receiving from the unfamilliar females standing next to his neighbours "Sorry it took so long, you didn't tell me where we were meeting up."

"My bad." Makoto chuckled, holding up a hand apologetically, before turning to look at her friends, who were gaping at Kuwabara in disbelief "Guys, this is Kuwabara Kazuma, Kuwabara, these are Hino Rei and Aino Minako."

"Nice to meet you." Kuwabara greeted, offering a small, nervous bow that put the girls slightly more at ease. He knew first hand that his mug wasn't exactly poster material…wanted poster maybe, but not the type you'd find on someone's bedroom wall or in a magazine, and so had long since endeavored to come off as unthreatening as possible when making first impressions.

Rei, the most spiritually aware of the group, frowned at the big lug as he introduced himself to Minako, who had gotten over her shock and was marveling over how tall he was, actually dragging Makoto over to get a comparison.

'There's something about this guy…' she muttered, her senses tingling at what felt like a suppressed energy emanating from the man, almost like the power her grandfather gave off when he was exorcising spirits at the shrine.

Mischievous pervert aside, Rei's grandfather was no slouch when it came to spiritual power, Rei's own talents in that area paling in comparison to his own. Oh sure her senshi abilities more than made up for her lack of experience, but it didn't change the fact that, despite being an unrepentant pervert, he still trounced her nine times out of ten in their spars, and ten times our of ten in regards to his experience in the priestly arts.

'I'll have to keep an eye on him' the senshi of Mars deduced, falling into step just behind the group as Minako lead the way to the Karaoke bar, dragging a startled Kuwabara after her by the arm 'if he turns out to be an enemy…'

* * *

_Karaoke parlor…22:00pm_

"You're pretty good, Kuwabara-kun!" Minako cheered, the girls offering a polite, if slightly tipsy applause as the big lug finished crooning away on an old love song, scoring a pretty impressive 70 on the rating machine.

"I gotta lot o' practice at this." Kuwabara admitted, recalling Genkai-shihan's training hall, and the spiritually inclined games machines that she used to test her disciples. True he was technically just an acquaintance, as Genkai believed Yusuke was all the apprentices she needed at the moment, but that didn't mean she didn't make a point of keeping the rest of the former Tantei's friends at their peak, and she could always use the spare change they needed to play the games.

"Not bad." Rei allotted, the priestess-cum-law student smirking confidently as she knocked back another pint of the local brew, grabbing the mike as she made her way up to the awaiting Karaoke machine, "But nowhere near good enough!"

"Rei-chan's so fun when she's sloshed." Minako noted with a victorious grin, knowing first hand that the priestess and Usagi had the second lowest alcohol tolerances among the senshi, and it was always amusing to watch the two best friends get tipsy and start falling over one another, especially when they couldn't recall what happened afterwards.

Ami, who had by far the weakest tolerance, was sticking to one pint and was already a little tipsy despite having only consumed a quarter of the contents. The bluenette was cheering her friends on, her inhibitions completely eroded by the, admittedly not very strong, brew she'd been supplied with, her cheers growing decidedly more daring as she made a scene of herself.

"Ami-chan…maybe you've had enough…" Makoto suggested, sweat dropping as the normally reserved bluenette began to wolf-whistle as the waiter as walked past, something she NEVER would have done sober, especially considering their waiter was female.

"Aw lemme have some fun Mako-chan!" the bluenette countered, waving her hand dismissively, hiccupping randomly as she tossed back her drink, which Makoto only now realized was actually Kuwabara's earlier unfinished pint "I never get to have any fun!"

'I just know she's going to kill me for this later…' Makoto sighed, looking up as Rei sat back down next to her, the priestess fuming slightly at only being awarded a 71 rating for her stellar performance.

"Utada Hikaru you ain't." Kuwabara teased, earning a sharp glare from Rei as the rest of the table burst into mocking, but nonetheless friendly sniggers "But then again I ain't much better." he admitted with a chuckle.

"Don't sell yourself short there Kuwa-kun." Minako teased, earning a flush from Makoto's neighbor as she smiled at him across the table, slightly tipsy herself "You've got a good set of lungs on ya there…" a lidded smirk came onto her face as she leaned across the table suggestively "you wouldn't be a screamer by any chance would you?"

"MINAKO-CHAN!" Makoto hissed, shooting her giggling, unrepentant friend a warning look, before smiling apologetically at a flustered looking Kuwabara, her own features covered in a light flush from the blonde's insinuation "Sorry about that."

"No prob." Kuwabara offered, chugging down a mouthful of brew to hide his embarrassment. He wasn't used to pretty girls complementing HIM after all, "By the way, don't ya think we should be headin' out? Mizuno-san looked like she'd had a bit too much."

"Aw a little binging never hurt anyone!" Minako countered with a grin, waving dismissively at the man's concerns, only to blink as the girls realized, as one, that the bluenette in question had disappeared from the table "Ami-chan?"

"TAKE IT OFF!" the denizens of the Karaoke bar roared out, the group spinning round as a series of wolf whistles and cat-calls fired off one by one, their eyes widening at the sight of the normally reserved Bluenette, who looked absolutely plastered, doing a drunken striptease on stage, her blouse already on the floor at her feet.

"Ohmigod!!" the girls yelped as one, rising to their feet in shock, Rei fighting to get past a startled Minako, only to blink as Kuwabara beat them to the punch, the big lug racing up to the stage and pulling his jacket over the inebriated young woman to preserve her modesty, before silencing the boo's of displeasure from the crowd by leveling one of his best 'Yakuza-glares', as Makoto dubbed them, at the perverts till they looked away.

"C'mon…" the pompadour sporting teen muttered softly, leading the dazed, mildly complaining bluenette down the steps towards her friends, guiding her with his hands on her shoulders and his gentle voice "Let's get you home."

"Mmkay…" Ami muttered, stumbling along in a daze, the occasional hiccup escaping from her as she griped the man's arm tightly, almost tripping over her own two feet as she stumbled out the door, only to blink as Kuwabara scooped her up in his arms, still wearing his coat "Buh?"

"I don't think she can walk by herself." The pompadour sporting teen muttered, turning to the stunned girls in explanation, not wanting them to get the wrong idea from this "I better take her back home."

"I'll go with you." Makoto insisted, the tall brunette walking up alongside him with an understanding nod, looking over her already dozing friend in guilty concern "We're roommates, and I got the keys anyways."

"We're coming too!" Minako cheered, the bubbly blonde dragging a sputtering Rei out of the club with her, the Law student carrying Ami's pullover and blouse in her other arm, having fought off the wolves that had tried to sneak them away "We can party on at your place!"

'Why do I get the feeling this isn't going to end well?' Makoto and Kuwabara thought to themselves, unaware that their neighbor was having the exact same thought.

* * *

_Tokyo University Co-Ed dorm, Makoto & Ami's pad…22:30pm_

While Makoto and Ami had stopped by Kuwabara's before, mostly for cram sessions or to simply share a meal, Makoto believing whole heartedly that a meal tasted better the more people there were to enjoy it, the former member of team Urameshi had, thus far, not set foot into their dorm room, as neither party had thought that far ahead and he wasn't one to impose, and wouldn't know how to broach the subject anyways.

Makoto had made it public that she'd approved of his own dorm, even if it was smaller (being a one student room), and would often hang around after a meal to watch the late-night comedies with the teen or challenge him to a round of Mario Kart on the ol' Nintendo he'd brought with him from home.

So it was quite an experience for the big lug to walk into the apartment the duo shared, out of the light drizzle that had caught them half way, to find a place that looked NOTHING like he'd expected, as up till that moment the only girl's room he'd seen the inside of had been his sister's.

'Guess the phrase 'To Each His Own' applies to girls too.' He muttered, running his eyes over the small, practical coffee table, the large book-case in the corner, filled with reference books that were categorized alphabetically per subject, the plain, comfortable couch and cushions set around the living area and the neat, walk in kitchen that showed signs of frequent use, a small radio on the counter.

The only times Kuwabara had used his own kitchen thus far had been to boil the kettle for ramen, soup, coffee, or to wash up the dishes and bento boxes he received from Makoto every morning before returning them. He just wasn't the sort that had picked up how to cook anything other than a sandwich till now.

"No TV?" he asked, looking around the neat living area, a little too neat in his opinion, as Shizuru always had a few magazines lying about, while gently setting the slumbering form of Ami down on the large, comfy couch and pulling his jacket over her while Minako ran into the bedroom to grab a blanket.

"Ami-chan says it's too much of a distraction." Makoto offered with a sheepish grin, knowing how she and the others would get too wrapped up in some TV drama to pay attention during cram session back when they were in high school "It took forever for me to convince her to let me get the radio, but I'd have gone nuts from the boredom otherwise."

"Mizuno-san's really dedicated isn't she?" the lanky teen muttered weakly, sweat dropping at the notion of the normally shy bluenette pulling a Keiko, looking down at her as she moaned, breaking out into slight coughs "Uh oh…"

"What is it?" Rei asked, having not taken her eyes of the lanky teen since they left the bar, pushing past him without waiting for a response, kneeling next to her friend out of concern, her palm resting on the bluenette's forehead "…she has a slight fever…and her nose is running."

"Must've been that shower we got caught up in." Kuwabara muttered, the pompadour sporting teen looking down at the bluenette in concern as Makoto walked over with some cocoa, before looking around the apartment with a frown "You got any flu stuff in here?"

"I don't think so…" Makoto replied, looking down at her roommate in concern as Rei stroked the moaning girl's hair "Ami-chan and I've never been really sick before, the most we've got in the cabinet are aspirin and a few bandages."

"Does she have any allergies we should worry about?" Kuwabara asked, nodding resolutely as Makoto shook her head "Right then, looks like I'm doing a supply run." The lanky teen muttered, earning a look of confusion from the girls as he made his way to the door "Keep her warm, I'll be back in a minute."

"Kuwa-!" Makoto called out, reaching after him with a look of concern, as it was still raining outside, but the teen had already rushed out the door, closing it behind him quickly in order to keep the warmth in.

"Well…" Minako opined, the bubbly blonde standing in the doorway with a big, fluffy blanket in her arms and a HIGHLYsuggestive grin on her face as she looked between her friends and the front door "He certainly knows how to take control."

"MINAKO!" Rei hissed, about ready towhip out the ol'flaming ofuda talismans, only to clap a hand over her mouth as Ami moaned, the feverish bluenette sitting up and holding her head between her hands tenderly.

"Oooooh…Never again…" the bluenette groaned weakly, her eyes cracking open, tearing slightly from the pain of her pounding headache "Mako-chan?" she called out, catching sight of her roommate above her "Where are we?"

"Home." Makoto offered, the brunette patting her smaller friend on the shoulder comfortingly, a relieved smile on her face as she helped her get comfortable "we brought you back after you got a little…carried away…"

"Carried…" the bluenette repeated, only to blink, a flush coming to her cheeks as she realized she was covered with someone else's jacket "Who's…jacket is this?" she asked, eyes widening with alarm as she recognized it.

"Kuwabara carried you back after you passed out." Rei assured the girl, the fiery priestess crossing her arms across her chest with a slight huff "Don't worry he didn't try anything…we were with him the whole time."

"Rei-chan, just because you and Yuichiro didn't work out doesn't mean you can take your grief out on Kuwabara-kun." Minako pointed out, grinning cheekily at the raven-haired priestess in response to the latter's glare "Besides, how do you know Ami didn't WANT him to try anything?" she teased.

"Minako-chan!" the bluenette eeped, only to wince and hold her head, shaking it gently to clear the pain from behind her eyeballs "Kuwabara-kun isn't like that…" she insisted after a moment of pained silence "I mean, yes he looks a little…Rough…"

"He looks like a yakuza reject." Rei cut in flatly, huffing at the hurt look the bluenette shot her "What? It's true! I'll admit he's a lot cooler than he looks but it doesn't change the face he looks like the type of guy Makoto used to break her knuckles on back in high school."

"He does kinda look like those guys doesn't he?" Minako noted offhandedly, recalling the times she, Ami and Usagi had been accosted by the local deadbeats, only for Minako to show up and drive them off "Guess that only shows, you can't call a book by it's-!"

She trailed off, the groups eyes widening as a familiar alarm bell sounded off from the bottom of Ami's bag, the bluenette pulling out a small, compact computer that was nonetheless more complicated than anything NASA could produce.

"Youma!" the bluenette reported, her equally blue eyes eyes widening with alarm as she ran her eyes over the screen "It's not far from here!"

* * *

Dun-dun-DUN!!!!

Well that was interesting -desu ne? What else can we expect from this trip down memory lane?

Cue the Nadesico music.

Narrator: The valiant Knight goes off in search for the cure to his maiden's sickness!

Kuwabra: Ya got any Cold n' Flu?

Store clerk: No (Blows gum bubble lazily)

Narrator: But what's this? a masked foe intervenes to delay him in his quest?

???: Kukukuku! It's showtime!

Narrator: But fear not Kuwabara! The angels of Love and Justice have come to assist you!

Rei: I don't like where this is going...

Narrator: Strike on Kuwabara! Your angels' love shall shield you!

Ami: E-eh?! We-we're not-!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: Spark! The Perilous Park Pierrot!

Minako:And who knows?You might get some 'service' too!

Rei: MINAKO!

R&R for more flashback goodness.


	38. Chapter 38

Part 2 of the flashback arc, last of thr gifts for Sketch's Outoto.

Let's geddit own!

_Heaven or Hell?_

**_LET'S RAWK!_**

* * *

38th Period.

_Tokyo University campus 7-11… 23:15_

"Thanks for you patronage…" the girl on the counter offered half-heartedly, turning away from Kuwabara to resume filing her nails, a bored expression on her face as the teen walked back out into the rain, a bag of flu medicine and a newly bought umbrella in each hand.

'Coulda sworn these things only cost 100 yen.' The teen muttered, popping the umbrella, which had cost him around 600 yen, and using it to fend off the worst of the downpour 'Aw well, least it's keepin' me dry-!'

A series of motorbikes drove past, the revelers, members of the Tokyo university Auto Club and obviously pissed out of their minds, tearing down the street at top speed, heedless of the puddle they'd driven through or the sopping wet teen that was standing there in a mounting rage they'd left in their wake.

'Bastards…' Kuwabara muttered, glaring after the gang, making a vow to go pay those idiots a little house call later on, before shrugging his shoulders with a grunt and deciding to take a shortcut through the park. For one thing the trees would at least provide some cover from the rain, and for another he didn't feel like chancing the other massive puddles that had lined the way between his dorm and the 7-11.

Even so, not many people chose to walk through the park at night, as even on a secure campus like Todai, the occasional freak and pervert still made a random appearance. Not that Kuwabara, being a six-foot something former delinquent with A-class Reiki, had anything to fear from your everyday mugger or pervert, hell even before he'd awoken his spiritual powers he could have sent anyone that jumped him crying for their mamas. Except for Yusuke of course, but then the former Tantei wasn't one for ambushing people, he preferred to let them ambush HIM, and then brush off sending them to hospital as simple 'self defense' when the cops came knocking on the door.

'Besides, the sooner I get this stuff to Mizuno-san the better,' he reasoned, recalling how the shy bluenette's sore coughs with a frown, firming his resolve and promptly stepping off the beaten path as he made his way in the general direction of his dorm building, heedless of the hooting of owls or the looming trees, letting out a sigh of relief as the rain let up slightly thanks to the thick canopy above.

But not ten minutes after stepping off the beaten path, the pompadour-sporting teen froze as his sixth sense went off like a fire alarm, his eyes widening as he looked around, instantly on guard and eying all directions as Kurama and Hiei had taught him. 'Not very strong.' He noted, his eyes narrowing as he got a feel for the youki hovering around him like a case of bad gas, only without the smell 'Most likely a mid C-rank…but what's it doing here?'

"HELP!" a shrill voice called out, the pompadour sporting teen's head snapping round as a woman's screams started up some distance away, tearing through the park despite the distance between them "Someone help me!"

"Stupid Question!" the teen snarled, tucking the bag of medication under his arm as he ran full tilt towards the screams, his fist tightening around the handle of his umbrella as he leapt into the clearing, bringing the makeshift weapon to bear and slamming it into the side of the monster's head, sending it flying across the deserted park to crash into a jungle gym, the cheap bumbershoot reduced to so much crushed metal and fabric from the blow.

"You okay?" the teen asked, crouching next to the stunned woman, by the looks of it, a jogger that had gotten the same idea as him, checking her over carefully for injuries as he glared at the monster's landing spot "Can you stand?"

"H-hai…" the woman admitted hesitantly, a slight tremble to her voice, though she managed to get to her feet without too much assistance, looking up at the pompadour sporting teen in grateful awe "Th-thank you-!"

"Just run!" Kuwabara ordered, turning his back to the woman as the sound of metal whining filled the air, scowling as he watched a shadowy figure remove itself from the ruined jungle gym "Run and don't stop running till you get home!"

The woman wasted no time, taking off like greased lightning, her panicked breath fading into the distance even as Kuwabara turned to face the shadowy form before him, his eyes narrowed in disdain.

"You got balls punk." He muttered, tossing the useless umbrella aside and clenching his fist as a light glow filled it "Attacking women in the park at night…even for a demon, you think you can call yourself a man after that?" He charged forwards, channeling reiki into his hand to summon his weapon "Eat this! REIKE-ERK!"

"Hoohoo?" a feminine voice called out, the teen's eyes widening as the demon he'd just sent flying stepped daintily out of the shadows, revealing an impressive figure that was dressed in a twisted knock off of a clown suit, the face covered with a porcelain mask, one half smiling, the other sad, a large hat with a peacock feather topping it all off.

_**Authors note: Imagine 'Pettin the dark clown from Yugioh, only female and with tighter clothes...**_

"So a new playmate comes to play with Pettin?" the figure asked, tittering in a disturbingly cutesy manner, her hands suddenly filling with throwing knives as she balanced on one toe, like an acrobat "Pettin show you real nice time!"

"H-Hold up!" Kuwabara stammered in alarm, waving his hands before him to ward off the attack, his mind literally shutting down as common sense warred with his refusal to fight a female opponent, regardless of species "I didn't know you were a girl! I don't fight girls!"

"Boy or girl doesn't matter to Pettin," the demonic harlequin countered, giggling dementedly as she twirled around on her toes, before lunging towards him with blades drawn "all MEAT taste the same!"

"Shit!" Kuwabara yelped, dodging madly as the demented harlequin slashed at him, cackling all the while. Part of him was wishing Urameshi was here, as the Mazoku heir had no qualms about hitting women. Another part of him was chastising the first for that exact same reason. "Can't we just talk?!" he demanded, grabbing her wrist and trying to keep her at arms length, bringing his superior strength to bear "I mean I'm sorry I hit you and all but-gurk!"

"Silly meat talk to much…" Pettin purred, grinning as she materialized behind the teen, the one in Kuwabara's grip turning out to be a fake as it faded away in a flurry of cards, the real one driving the dagger she'd stabbed him with deeper into his back "Meat not supposed to talk." She pointed out, even as Kuwabara clenched his teeth from the pain, leaning in to place her suddenly leering face to his throat "Now Pettin FEED!"

* * *

"SPARKING WIDE PREASSURE!"

The deranged harlequin leapt back, but not fast enough to save her arm, which was severed off at the elbow from the attack as Kuwabara slumped to the floor on his knees.

"Hold it right there you sideshow reject!" a voice called out, the two looking up to see a group of four female silhouettes standing nearby, the moon coming out from behind a cloud to reveal four women in outfits that would've given any man a bloody nose, including a startled Kuwabara.

"Turning a place of leisure into a feeding ground?" the apparent leader, a tall brunette in a green fuku called out her face a mask of righteous anger "We, the Sailor Senshi, will not stand for it!" she moved her hands into a pose "In the name of Jupiter!

"Mars!" a raven haired one in a red fuku and heels called out, slipping into a pose of her own that looked better suited for a catwalk.

"Venus!" a blonde one in an orange fuku called out, doing a small spin before moving into a pose of her own, one hand raised in the air

"Mercu-cough-ry!" a pretty bluenette in a blue fuku called out, looking a little out of place with her cold-mask over her mouth as she posed next to the others.

"We will punish you!" the group called out as one, before separating and surrounding them, cutting off all the exits while watching the Youma with wary eyes, noting the man on his knees with concern.

* * *

"Pettin heard about you." The demented harlequin muttered, twirling a checkered cloth around the stub of her missing arm, pulling it away to reveal another limb in it's place "No care, simply more meat!"

"Then I hope you like it spicy!" Mars called out even as several spheres of fire formed around her, the sound of temple bells filling the air "BURNING MANDALA!" she cried, sending the balls of fire flying towards the twisted tumbler.

"YOICKS!" Kuwabara stammered as Pettin leapt out of the path of the attack, hitting the ground and covering his head, his injured back screaming at the movement "HEY!" he yelled out with a flinch, glaring up at the red clad Senshi irately " Who's side're ya on, ya pyromaniac?!"

"Who're you calling a pyromaniac!?" Mars snapped, internally embarrassed at having almost flash-fried the admittedly harmless lug, even as Mercury moved in from the sidelines to crouch next to him to assess his wounds "Dammit!" she cursed, looking around in annoyance for the Youma "Where'd she go?!"

"Behind you!" Kuwabara snapped, pointing his finger at the fire Senshi for emphasis, just in time to prevent Mars from being stabbed in the back by Pettin, who cursed and disappeared once again in a flash of checkered cloth "She's above!" the injured teen yelled, allowing Venus to roll out of an aerial slash with a yelp, before firing off a crescent beam to ward the harlequin off.

'How can he tell where she's hiding?' Mercury wondered, looking over the injured man in confusion, her visor in place as she tried to locate their opponent's hiding place 'Even my Mercury computer can only tell where she is when she attacks,' she looked on as he yelled out the Youma's location, allowing Jupiter to deliver a snap kick to her head 'but he's able to track her movements as clear as day!'

"Watch out!" Kuwabara roared suddenly, startling the blue-clad senshi as he leapt at her despite his injury, grabbing her in his arms and dragging her down next to him just as one of Pettin's knives flew through the air from behind, passing harmlessly through the spot her back had occupied previously. "Sick freak!" the injured teen growled, glaring at the spot Pettin had vacated, hugging the embarrassed senshi close to his chest protectively "If she weren't a girl I'd clobber her!"

"Um…technically Youma don't have genders…" the shy senshi pointed out, a little embarrassed at having her friend's arm around her, thankful once again for the senshi magic keeping him from recognizing her, as well as marveling at how he'd saved her despite being injured. "Um…can you let go?"

"Huh?" Kuwabara stammered, the confused former tantei looking down at the senshi on confusion, only to realize exactly what type of picture they were undoubtedly presenting and releasing her with a flush "Sorry!"

"Quite alright." Mercury assured him, the blue haired senshi fighting down a flush at how surprisingly safe, she'd felt in his arms, before shaking her head "But forget about that, how can you tell where she is?"

"Long story," Kuwabara muttered, wincing as he pushed himself up onto one knee, the other supporting his hand as he grunted, "Let's just say I'm pretty good at findin things that're hidden-!" He cursed and, much to Mercury's alarm, tackled her out of the path of yet another hurled dagger "DAMMIT!" he roared into the woods "FIGHT FAIR YOU SICK FREAK!"

"Pettin always plays fair." The disembodied voice called out mockingly, even as the senshi formed rank around the injured teen, Mercury removed herself from the man's embrace once again with a flush "Fair for Pettin that is!"

* * *

"Teme…!" Jupiter growled, glaring around the otherwise deserted park in anger, her fists clenching with an audible tightening sound, s[parking with electricity "If we could just find out where she's hiding herself we could-!"

"She's not hiding." Kuwabara contradicted, trying to stand, only to collapse onto one knee from the pain in his back, concerned Mercury kneeling next to him "She's usin' a trick that makes her invisible ta th' naked eye."

"Then how come you're able to see her?" Mars demanded, the long-haired senshi of fire honestly a little intrigued at the big lug's uncanny ability to suss out where the clown bitch was hiding so easily.

"I've…kinda been able ta see things others can't since I was a kid…" Kuwabara admitted, prepping himself for the ribbing he was sure would follow "Things like ghosts n' spirits…things most people take fer granted or pass of as superstition ain't like that fer me."

"You're kidding!" Venus exclaimed, the blonde senshi looking down at the lanky teen in amazement, shooting an equally gob smacked Mars a sidelong look as she did so "So are you like a priest in training?"

"Me?" Kuwabara stammered, pointing at himself, before shaking his head at the senshi's nod "Naw, my family's just weird like that I suppose." Kuwabara muttered, chuckling weakly as he looked up at the blonde Senshi "My big sis is better at seein' things than I am tho."

"If you're so good at seeing things then why'd you let this Youma sneak up on you?" Mars demanded, a little professionally insulted that someone like Kuwabara could possess a sixth sense that outshone her own. She was the best of the senshi at detecting energy signatures, and SHE couldn't see jack!

"She didn't sneak up on me!" Kuwabara countered with a snap, glaring up at the self-righteous, or so he deemed her, Senshi in annoyance "I caught her attackin' some lady and stepped in ta stop her…" he looked off to the side "Then I realized she was a girl and…"

"And what?" Mars demanded, the fiery-tempered senshi frowning as the pompadour sporting teen looked away, mumbling incoherently. She wasn't having any of it however, and so turned around to glare at him fully "Realized what?!"

"I DON'T FIGHT GIRLS OKAY?!" Kuwabara yelled, blowing Mar's hair back with the force of the yell, a blush on his face as he caught his breath "Call me an idiot if ya want but real men don't hit women!"

"Of all the-!" Mars stammered, the dark haired Senshi's face turning red with anger and embarassment as she pointed down at the injured teen in righteous feminine wrath "That is the single most outdated, chauvinistic-!"

"Call it what you want." Kuwabara muttered, flinching from the pain in his back, his breath ragged "But human or demon my folks didn't raise me to beat up on women." He looked the raven-haired Senshi in the eye "And I'm stickin' ta that!"

* * *

The senshi gaped at the panting man in shock, Mars rendered completely silent out of shock, having never seen someone with resolve like this, at least among men. Venus, of course was gazing at the teen with sparkles in her eyes, somehow imaging the reformed punk as a type of modern day samurai as she felt her heart pick up in pace.

Mercury, who had been rescued twice by the man despite her intentions to protect him, felt a small flush climb onto her cheeks, as such chivalry went beyond even common sense. And Jupiter, who was standing right in front of the teen, could only gape at him in shock and newfound respect.

"Kuwabara…" the green-clad senshi breathed, her eyes filled with awe, only to widen in horror as she realized what she'd just said, the other senshi looking up at her in alarm as she clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Huh? How'd ya know my name?" Kuwabara stammered, looking up at the suddenly nervous Senshi of thunder in confusion "For that matter..." he muttered, eyeing the others "don't you girls usually hang out down in Juuban?"

"W-well, that is to say…" Venus stammered, before moving into another pose, reminiscent of her time as Sailor V "Wherever there is evil," she proposed, smiling at the teen as she saluted "we will be there to save the day!"

"Uh…right…" Kuwabara muttered, the pompadour sporting teen sweat dropping at the, admittedly hot, blonde's antics, before looking up at Jupiter once again "Anyways, how'd you know my name?"

"No time for that!" Mars snapped, the raven haired turning her head just in time to hurl a blazing sutra at Pettin, who flipped acrobatically out of the path ofthe talisman "We got a fight on our hands!"

"Meat still talk too much…" the demonic clown muttered, seeming to pout behind her mask as she fanned several, razor sharp poker cards in front of her face, like a gambler "ignoring Pettin, bad meat, rude."

"I'll show you rude!" Mars snarled, the fiery tempered Senshi leaping forwards, lashing out at the demonic harlequinn with a flurry of punches and kicks, which were surprisingly well co-ordinated despite her wearing high heels, each blow engulfed in flames "HIEN KYAKU!"

"OOH! Spicy!" Pettin giggled, only to blink as Venus fired off a 'Crescent Beam Shower', multiple beams of energy lancing through the night sky, forcing the Youma back onto the firmament with a snarl.

"Gotcha!" Jupiter cheered, a smirk on her face as she appeared behind the Youma, electrical energy crackling between her palms as she slammed the sphere of energy into the Youma's unprotected flank "RAIKOUDAN!"

Pettin screamed, her body arcing with electricity, only for the mask to switch to a grin as the body dissolved once more into playing cards. "DAMMIT!" The senshi of thunder cursed, looking around in anger as she realized she'd been tricked "Where the hell are you?!"

"Pettin right here." A mocking voice pointed out, Jupiter freezing as a chill washed over her, even as the clown's lopsided face faded into view behind her, the grinning half clearly visible to all "Meat is dangerous…Almost hurt Pettin…" the leer grew decidedly malicious as her fingers morphed into spikes "Pettin kill you first!"

Jupiter cursed, whipping round in a futile attempt to dodge, already feeling the cold metal of those spikes against her skin, only to blink as a hand grabbed her by the shoulder, pulling her back and sending her stumbling to the ground even as a large form blurred past, intercepting the spikes before they could reach her.

"Who…?" the brunette stammered, dazed from the fall, only to blink in alarm at the growing puddle of blood near her feet, her eyes traveling up to gape at the figure impaled on the Youma's claws "KUWABARA!"

* * *

"Stupid meat…" Pettin mocked, the demented Harelquin looking down at the foolish human that had willingly impaled himself on her claws, a mocking leer on her face "Pettin not want tough meat, first want eat girl meat."

"Kuwabara!" the Senshi called out as one, Mercury's hands flying to her mouth as they gaped at the spikes that had punched through the teen's back, even as Kuwabara coughed up a mouthful of blood. "Hang on!" Jupiter called out, the green-clad senshi rising to her feet with a desperate expression on her face "We'll get you out of there in a-!"

"Don't-!" Kuwabara barked, stalling the senshi in her tracks as he coughed up more blood, startling everyone with his voice as he grit his teeth, a smirk coming to his face "Don't bother with me…finish her!"

"Stupid meat…" Pettin repeated, the masked harlequinn tilting her head at the man's apparent, fatalistic stupidity, twisting her claws, earning an agonized grunt in return "Bleed too much yes? Starting to go mad?"

"Sure…mad as a FOX." Kuwabara countered, smirking up at the startled Youma as he grabbed her by the wrist, his grip like iron "Ya think I just jumped in here like an idiot?" he demanded, even as the panicked clown tried to pull away "I LET ya stab me so I could get my hands on ya, ya freak!"

'He did what?!' Mars gaped, her eyes widening in abject disbelief as she stared at the scene before her, unable to see the sense in such an action 'What…what kind of gutsy…reckless idiot is he?!'

'SO COOL!' Venus cheered, the blonde senshi of love gaping at the pompadour sporting teen in abject awe, her hands on her cheeks as she cheered to herself 'He's like an action hero or something!'

'The odds of surviving an attack like that are too small to even compute!' Mercury stammered, running the figures through her computer nonetheless 'Even a trained soldier would have hesitated! But he just jumped right in!'

"Let go!" Pettin snarled, the hysterial harlequinn bringing her other hand up, the fingers morphed into claws as she slashed at the man, trying to break his hold "Meat not supposed to touch Pettin!"

"You think I'd touch ya if I had th' choice?!" Kuwabara grunted taking the claws in the ribs and slamming his arm over them to hold them in place "I did this so I could get ya right where I wanted ya!"

"Oh? Meat wants to fight Pettin?" the Youma asked, it's tone mocking as it leered at the injured man, it's struggles stilling briefly "Meat is half dead, and Pettin is 'woman', what can bruised meat do?"

"You're right…I can't hit a woman no matter what she is." Kuwabara muttered, only to grin, his arms flying out and pulling the startled Youma into a bone crushing hug "But technically, a Bear Hug don't count as hittin-!" he turned to glare at the scouts over his shoulder "Whadd'ya waitin' for?! Blast her!"

"Are you crazy?!" Mars gaped, the fiery tempered Senshi looking the pompadour sporting teen over in alarm, and a hint of concern, as the order snapped them all out of their respective dazes "If we do that…you'll be-!"

"I did this so you'd have a chance ta hit her without her pulling a Houdini!" Kuwabara snapped back, tightening his grip on the struggling Youma for emphasis "Now hurry it up and blast her! I can take it!"

"Kuwabara…" Jupiter stammered, before nodding, her face settling into a determined scowl as she crossed her arms in front of her face, a small antenna rose from her crown as electricity gathered around her.

"Let go!" Petting snarled, struggling to break free as she realized what the senshi was up to, only to gape at the sheer strength of her would-be prey's arms "What are you!?" she stammered, eyes widening in terror as she looked into her would-be prey's eyes "You not Meat!"

"Th' names Kuwabara Kazuma ya twisted sideshow freak…" the grim faced man stated, his face etched in stone as he glared down at the terrified Youma, a bolt of lightning casting a shadow across his features as it bore down on them from on high "Remember that name when you get ta hell!"

Pettin's scream of terror tore through the night sky, more from the proximity of those terrifying eyes than from the pain as Jupiter's Supreme Thunder reduced her body to it's composite atoms.

* * *

_Todai University Co-ed Dorms; the following morning…_

Kuwabara sat bolt upright with a yell, looking around in confusion at the walls of his dorm room, only to sigh in relief and sink back onto his pillow. 'Just a dream…' he muttered, covering his eyes with his arm, laughing weakly at how stupid he'd been 'Course it was a dream…like th' Sailor Senshi'd just pop outta nowhere ta save my ass.' He snorted mockingly 'That's what I get for staying out late drinking.'

A knock at the door drew his attention back to reality, the pompadour sporting teen getting out of his feet with a yawn and unlocking the door, peeking round to reveal a smiling Makoto. "Morning Kuwabara!" the brunette chirped, waving politely at her neighbor as she held out his breakfast bento "You don't have classes till later right? So I figured you could enjoy this while you get ready!"

"Thanks, Kino-san." Kuwabara offered with a gratefull smile, accepting the bento from his tall neighbour, before looking out behind her with concern "Is Mizuno-san alright? Or is she staying in sick?"

"Ami-chan? Oh she'd never skip!" Makoto chuckled, the tall brunette shaking her head dismissively, before thumbing over her shoulder "She actually went on ahead because of her exam, I just stopped by to say hi before I joined her."

"Right." Kuwabara muttered, sighing internally with relief as he nodded his head in understanding, smiling at the green-eyed brunette as he made to close the door "Well, guess I'll see ya later…"

"Kuwabara…san?" Makoto called out, pausing the teen in his tracks with her unusually formal tone, more accurately the concern in it, her hands on her book bag and her head tilted towards her feet "Are you…alright?"

"Huh?" Kuwabara stammered, surprised at the sudden question, before grinning and flexing his right arm, showing off the muscle "I'm perfectly alright," he assured her "just had a weird dream last night s'all." He snorted derisively "Teach me to stay up late drinking huh?"

"Really?" Makoto asked, looking up in concern, before sighing softly "That's good…" she whispered, earning a confused look from the teen as she turned and ran off "See ya later Kuwabara!" she called over her shoulder "Oh! And Minako-chan says we should get together for Karaoke again another time!"

"Count on it!" Kuwabara called out, waving after the brunette as he watched her run off out of sight, before closing the door behind him to get changed.

Unknown to the pompadour sporting teen however, the selfsame brunette was hiding just around the corner, heaving a sigh of relief and leaning against the wall as she heard him shut and lock his door behind him.

'He's okay…' she breathed, smiling to herself as she recalled the teen's happy-go-lucky grin as he'd flexed his muscle in the doorway 'He's okay, and that's what matters.'

Shaking her head with a sigh, she stepped away from the wall, racing down the steps to catch up with her friends, who were waiting for her at the bottom, Rei with an impatient look on her face, Ami still a little flushed from the fever, though the medication Kuwabara had bought had helped loads, and Minako waving cheerfully up at her, even as she leapt over the final balcony to join them.

* * *

_Evangeline's cottage…the present._

'That was the first big thing that brought him into our lives…' Makoto recalled, watching the tantei sleep with a smile on her face, tracing the small, almost imperceptible scars on his back, wondering which ones belonged to the wounds he'd received from the Youma that night four years ago, the night he no longer remembered 'even Rei didn't complain as much whenever we used to ask him to tag along.'

Not that the priestess had made it EASY for Kuwabara to fit in either, as she hadn't taken too kindly to what she'd perceived as a challenge to her priestess abilities. She'd always try to spring something on Kuwabara, like setting up fake séances or readings, only for the lanky teen to instantly figure it out, usually pointing out a REAL spook or sprite lurking nearby that Rei had missed.

Smiling to herself at the good old times, Makoto got to her feet, noting from the Tantei's alarm clock that she had at least four hours left to catch some sleep before classes began that day.

'Shame I had to wake up when I did…' she muttered guiltily, a slight blush on her features as she recalled the warmth of her friend's skin as she'd snuggled up to him in her daze, before shaking her head with a snort 'Bad Makoto…keep this up and you'll have Rei-chan breathing down your neck.' she shuddered 'or Minako-chan...'

Sending one last look at her slumbering friend, the senshi of thunder reached out to stroke his hair, smiling as his features softened in slumber, kneeling down to leave a small, chaste peck on his cheek before slipping out of the room and making her way across the hall to her own.

No sooner had she left did Sayo, who had been responsible for the breeze that roused the woman, let out a sigh of relief, slumping in mid-air from exhaustion.

'That took ten years off my life!' the friendly ghost gasped, panting for breath despite the fact she technically didn't need to breath 'Being intangible has it's advantages but there are times I really wish I could reach out and touch someone!'

Kuwabara, unaware of the drama that had taken place around him, simply rolled over in his slumber, his dreams filled with images of five, brightly dressed figures in sailor suits.

The fact that one of the figures was Kurama, in a surprisingly fetching pink fuku with an impressive…build, would leave him feeling decidedly awkward when he awoke four hours later for work.

He didn't want to know what he'd been doing in a tuxedo either.

* * *

And so the flashback saga ends.

While not 'That time' this is Kuwabara's first meeting with the Senshi, and the one that made them aware of his courage and skills...some of them anyways.

And yes, the Senshi used that voodoo that they do to erase Kuwabara's memory of the incident, Standard Senshi policy sadly.

'That time' won't be mentioned until much later, still working out the specifics.

Roll the Nadesico music.

Narrator: Sadly, all good things must come to an end!

Kuwabara: Hey! The color's back on!

Narrator: But the flames of youth have not dimmed in their passion!

Asakura: Huh? Who's that weirdo in the spandex?

Narrator: A cladestine meeting in the woods? Why Negi-kun! You player!

Negi: M-master...I can't...

Eva: Kukukuku...time for an 'after class lesson', boya...

Narrator: But beware young Sensei! For there be voyeurs in the woods!

Chisame: Why are you pointing that camera at me?!

Narrator Oh scandalous night! Do you dare go down to the woods tongiht?

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: Picnicing Darkly! A clandestine Menage a trois!

Asuna: Stop saying things that can be taken the wrong way DAMMIT!

R&R for more highschool Hijinks!


	39. Chapter 39

And so the plot contnues...and the crew learn a little more about each other.

_Heaven or hell?_

_LET'S RAWK!_

* * *

39th period.

Makoto sighed as she shuffled the last of the paperwork Nita had left on her desk, having finally finished the damned things and ready to punch out for the day, as it looked like a storm was about to set in if the electrical discharge her magic was detecting was any clear sign.

'Too bad Kuwabara had to leave early.' She noted with a rueful smile as she exited the staff room, waving farewell to Shizuna and Touko-sensei 'I was hoping we could grab a coffee or something on the way back."

She looked up, at a faint rumble in the sky, wincing as she recognized the signs of an oncoming storm, cursing herself for leaving her umbrella back at the cottage despite Chachamaru's warning. The girl never seemed to be wrong when it came to the weather.

So caught up was she in he thoughts that she almost stumbled over several girls that were loitering in the hallway, recognizing most of them instantly from Nita-sensei's 'troublemaker' list, which basically meant they had to be members of class 3A. And it didn't help that three of them were Baka-rangers.

"Well now…" she noted, crossing her arms under her breasts and quirking a well-groomed eyebrow as they stared up at her in nervous apprehension "What have we here? A couple of volunteers for extra-study?"

"But Negi-bozu not teach till tomorrow aru…" Ku Fei pointed out in confusion, earning exasperated looks from her fellow stalkers, who hurried to silence the blonde Kempo master even as Makoto looked round the corner.

"Hm? What's this? Spying on Negi-kun are we?" the gym instructor noted, quirking an eyebrow teasingly at the girls, who couldn't help but flush at her knowing tone "How improper, I should report this…"

"We weren't stalking!" Asuna hissed, her face redder than Rei's fuku as she slapped the air in a classic 'straight man' act "We're just worried cause the baka was half dead all through class today! Hell he was reading the book upside down and didn't notice!"

"Wasn't even the right textbook either…" Konoka added with a giggle, holding up a bright orange book that earned spit-takes from Asuna and Setsuna, while Nodoka turned an interesting shade of puce "Looks like he picked up Seruhiko-sensei's book by accident."

"Ayaka nearly had a coronary!" Kazumi cackled, recalling how the class rep, upon catching sight of what her beloved Negi-sensei was reading, had actually thrown a startled Makie at him to prevent the child-sensei from 'soiling his impressionable eyes with such smut!' The fact that Negi's head had wound up between Baka Pink's thighs hadn't helped calm the Class-Rep down any.

'I'm going to have a word with that guy…' Makoto muttered, flushing slightly as she confiscated the highly explicit piece of smut from the girl's hands, resolving to confront Seruhiko about leaving his porn where impressionable young minds could find it. "In any case," she coughed "I can't have you stalking the boy…" she ignored Asuna's insistence that they 'weren't stalking dammit!' in favor of smiling "not without ME anyways."

Kazumi grinned, nodding her head in approval while the other members of the group, with the exception of the blissfully clueless Ku Fei and innocent Konoka, gaped at the woman in confusion.

"Look." Yue called out, drawing everyone's attention back to Negi to see him meeting up with Evangeline, who surprisingly seemed quite pleased to see him, almost as if she'd been waiting for him "I see…training with Evangeline-san is he?"

"Training?" Makoto repeated, the brunette instructor blinking in confusion at the expressionless bluenette, who had the decency to look embarrassed, or at least as embarassed as Yue could appear, at her slip "What training?"

"T-Tea ceremony!" Nodoka stammered, her face lighting up like a Christmas ornament as she waved her arms to draw attention away from her friend "N-Negi-sensei wanted to learn m-more about Japanese t-tea ceremony's, and E-Eva-san is part of the club and-!"

'She's adorable when she's flustered.' Makoto giggled internally, watching the shy librarian work herself into a panic, before ruffling her hair and comforting her 'Still…' she noted internally 'Something tells me this isn't the type of TRAINING they meant…I've never heard of Tea ceremonies exhausting someone…'

"Say…" Kazumi wondered, holding her chin in thought as her devious, paparazzi mind came up with an unlikely, but nonetheless scandalous, scenario "he hangs out with her for two to three hours and comes back exhausted…" she grinned as a slight flush adorned her cheeks "You don't think they're doing THAT, do you?"

"NO THEY ARE NOT!!!" Asuna screeched, he face flushing in mortification as she swatted away the image of a nude Evangeline and Negi, slightly obscured by the kanji for 'Top Secret' as it hovered over their heads, Nodoka and Setsuna turning crimson from mortification, while Ku Fei simply blinked in confusion.

"Keep your wild theories to yourself." Makoto warned the Mahora Paparazzi, though she DID cough to clear her throat afterwards "and anyway, they've already gone."

* * *

Sure enough, a downpour started the second the would be stalkers cleared the gates, though admittedly the roads through the campus streets were laced with convenient overhangs and cover for any shoppers that were still out and about. The real problem, in Makoto's opinion, was getting the girls to follow her lead without making any noise.

Now Makoto may have become a teacher, and thus had a responsibility to teach these girls some discipline, but she'd been a teenager once, and she and her friends had stalked their fair share of hotties and whatnot before moving on with their lives, and so it was deplorable to her at just how BAD these girls were. It actually took a whole ten minutes to convince Konoka that saying 'Nin-Nin!', albeit in an adorable manner, did NOT help her stealth in any way. The least said about Ku Fei's objections to 'skulking around not honorable' the better.

By the time they reached the woods leading to the cottage the rain had picked up, coming down hard enough it was like standing under a shower on full blast, the thick canopy only serving to fend off the worst of it as they snuck up on the cottage.

'Never thought I'd be sneaking into my own home at MY age…' Makoto noted with a chuckle as she undid the latch, a familiar guilty thrill racing through her as she recalled the times she'd let herself back into her apartment after a night of dusting Youma with her friends 'Good times…'

"Huh? No one's home?" Asuna muttered, looking around the cottage in confusion, having just come from looking around the upper floors with Ku Fei and Kazumi "That's weird…they DID enter the house, right?"

"You check the bathroom?" Makoto asked, a little apprehensive after her own search turned up nothing, it was like her roommate and Negi had just vanished. Kuwabara and Chachamaru's shoes were also in the doorway, but neither of them seemed to be here either.

"Guys! Down here!" Konoka's voice called out from the stairwell, the group turning round to find a nervous looking Nodoka coming back up to meet them, the shy girl stating that they'd found something in the basement.

'Since when do Log cabins come with basements?' Makoto wondered with a sweatdrop, following after the group, only to blink at the veritable army of dolls, puppets and plushies that filled the underground room 'Wow…' she muttered, eyeing the gothic-garbed marionettes in trepidation 'good thing Usagi isn't here, she'd freak.'

Her attention instantly snapped to the fore, as a feeling of great magical energy washed against her senses. It wasn't dangerous, or even remotely oppressing, but as a Senshi she'd learned time and time again that letting your guard down gave the enemy an opening they wouldn't hesitate to exploit.

"What the heck?" Asuna muttered, the redhead leaning in close to get a better look, her mismatched eyes narrowing at the glass orb that seemed to contain a tower, apparently built in the sea, with a small islet off the side.

"Some kind of miniature?" Konoka asked, the dean's grand-daughter moving her face around the glass shpere, distorting her features into rather humorous shapes as she did so "Like a ship in a bottle?"

"It's too detailed to be a miniature." Yue discounted, looking over the contents of the glass container analytically, having taken note of the words 'Evangeline's Resort' printed on the side facing her "A Hologram perhaps? Either way, Nodoka says she saw Negi-sensei inside it."

"Say what?" Makoto repeated, looking at the bluenette and Librarian in confusion, though their words sent another surge of wariness through her. The feeling of magic had been non-existent until they entered this room, and since then it had been growing stronger with every second. Furthermore, it was as if something was wrapping around them on all sides. 'This isn't good.' She deduced, her eyes narrowing in suspicion as she eyed the walls 'Someone here is using magic, but I can't just transform with all of them here-eh?'

She trailed off, looking around in alarm as the engulfing feeling suddenly decreased, her eyes widening as she realized she was suddenly alone, all of her students having vanished into thin air "No!" she yelled, whipping out her Henshin rod and narrowing her eyes at the ceiling in readiness "Give them back you-!"

There was a slight feeling of vertigo, and when it cleared Makoto was forced to cover her eyes as a bright light burst into being above her, her teeth clenching as she readied the Henshin rod.

"Yo, Kino-sensei." Yue's voice called out, the brunettes spinning round to gape at the sight of the stoic bluenette and an equally stunned Asuna, who was blinking at her with her mismatched eyes.

"Yue-san, Asuna-san." Makoto stammered, the stunned brunette moving towards the duo whilst secretly tucking her Henshin rod back up her sleeve with a flick of her wrist "Are you alright? Did anything happen to you?"

"We're fine." Yue admitted calmly, even as the brunette patted her down for injuries, Asuna warding the woman of with her hands and claiming she was unharmed "We've mostly been waiting for you and admiring the view."

"View?" Makoto repeated, only to blink as she realized that it was warmer here, looking around in surprise to gape at the life-size version of the model they'd been looking at not two minutes ago "What on earth?!"

"Asuna's reaction was pretty much the same." Yue admitted, earning an embarrassed fume from the redhead as she walked towards the bridge "This appears to be the exact same place we were looking on the miniature."

"You seem pretty calm about this, all things considered." Makoto noted with an exasperated expression, following the bluenette across the bridge as Asuna railed at there being no handrails "Most schoolgirls would freak at being transported somewhere against their will."

"I don't think ANYONE in our class counts as a 'normal schoolgirl', Kino-sensei." Yue replied, smiling wryly at the brunette, who had to agree with her on that point "Besides, this is far more exciting than the humdrum, day-to-day world of classes and school."

* * *

'Gotta agree with her there too.' Makoto noted with a snort, her lip quirking as she recalled how exciting life had been when she'd awakened as the senshi of Jupiter. It was almost addicting, moonlighting as a magical warrior of love and justice, the subject of a nations love and praise, only to revert back to pale, stagnant normality and the demands of their various superiors, like Haruna-sensei.

"Still," she noted, determined to have the last say in this argument as she smirked down at the bluenette, an eyebrow quirked in mock humor "I'd be more convinced of your bravado if your knees weren't doing a passable Macarena, right, Asuna?"

"I'm excited alright?!" Yue muttered defensively, not even blushing as she made her way across the bridge "Besides, in the half hour before you and Asuna-san got here, the rest of us took the chance to look around."

"Half hour?" Makoto gaped, looking from the bluenette to an equally confused Asuna, who shook her head in confusion, clearly as in the dark as she was "But you only disappeared a few seconds ago!"

"Hey guys! Over here!" Kazumi's voice called out from atop some steps, the Mahora paparazzi waving at them near some sort of viewing area shaded from the sun with a marble dome held up with pillars "There's voices coming from down below!"

"Voices?" Asuna asked, noting the embarrassed look on Nodoka's face, only to blink as Makoto pushed forwards, a frown on her face as she ordered the girls to stay behind, her tone brooking no argument.

"I'll go first." The brunette muttered, eyeing the shadowy staircase with trepidation, ready to whip out her Henshin rod at a moment's notice, damn the consequences "Whatever brought us here wasn't normal, the fact they haven't shown themselves makes me wonder as to their intentions."

"But it's just Eva-cha-!" Asuna began, only for Kazumi to slap a hand over the redhead's mouth, said redhead's eyes widening as she realized the full-weight of the situation before them, and the threat it might pose to Negi.

Before any of them could come up with an excuse to waylay her however, Makoto had already disappeared down the staircase, her eyes narrowed as she caught the tail end of voices drawing closer.

"…Kukukuku…" a sinister, yet oddly familiar voice cackled, the stairwell giving the echo a decidedly sinister tone as Makoto drew closer, her eyes narrowing as she felt her skin crawl reflexively at the sound "More right? Yes?"

"B-but I'm so tired!" came Negi's plaintive cry, the child sensei's voice laced with exhaustion, and a hint of fear, that set the brunette's hackles on end, her 'big sister' senses suddenly firing on all cylinders.

"Give the kid a break, Eva-chan…" came Kuwabara's exhausted tone, Makoto's eyebrows disappearing into her hairline at the sound of the man's voice "You've had us BOTH at it for hours, let him recover first before you…"

"He's young, he'll bounce back quick enough." Came the voice from before, which Makoto recognized now as Evangeline's "Still, you're right, take a break boya, I'll get back to you later." her tone grew sinister "and as for you 'sensei', whip it out!"

"I ain't a juice dispenser dammit!" Kuwabara retorted, though there was a resigned tone to his voice as the sound of cloth rustling filled the air, Makoto's features turning scarlet as her mind began to race despite itself "Dammit, didn't you get enough from Negi?"

"Just be grateful I don't ask you to call me 'Master' like the boya." A deeper, undoubtedly womanly voice chuckled, the sensual tone sending a rush of awe and shock through the brunette's body "Now then…let's get to it shall we?"

"I knew it!" Kazumi whispered excitedly, Makoto whipping round to find her students lined up behind her, looking like scandalized lobsters on account of their fierce blushing, except for the ever clueless, innocent duo of Ku Fei and Konoka, "I told you! They're doing THAT!"

"Like hell!" Asuna roared, somehow pulling a harisen out of thin air as she raced around the corner before Makoto could stop her "Hold it there you pervert! Just what do you think you're-?!"

She trailed off, face going pink as she blushed and paled at the same time, looking on in disbelief at the sight of a busty blonde in a black school uniform, which was straining against her figure, sipping away at Kuwabara's neck, sitting on his legs and titling his head back.

"Hmm?" the blonde wondered, looking up with interest at the sight of the stammering redhead "Kagurazaka?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow as she released the tantei with an audible 'pop', quirking an eyebrow as the rest of the posse and Makoto stumbled into view "What are you lot doing here?"

"What are WE doing here? What are YOU doing here!" Makoto gaped, pointing an accusatory finger at the impressively busty blonde, noting the trail of blood coming from her lips "And what're you doing to Kuwabara?!"

"I really don't see how that's any of your business, Kino-sensei." The busty blonde muttered, stepping off the tantei, allowing him to collapse onto the bed, too drained to support himself for the moment "I was merely collecting my fee from him and the boya."

"Boya-NEGI?!" Makoto gasped, noting the slumbering form of Negi on the other side of the bed, the poor little tyke moaning in his sleep "You bitch! What've you done to-!"

She trailed off as the edge of an invisible blade pressed against her throat, her eyes widening as the busty blonde blurred into vision right behind her, free hand holding her wrist, keeping her from going for her Henshin rod.

"Really now, there's no need for that." The blonde countered, smiling to herself as she restrained the brunette with apparently little effort, "First you barge into my resort without permission, then accuse me of doing things to my pupils against their will…" she trailed a manicured nail against the brunette's cheek "Really, just what do you think of me, Kino-sensei?"

"E-Eva-chan?" Makoto asked, eyes widening at the blondes chuckle, only to stumble forwards as she was released, turning round to gape as the busty woman disappeared in a cloud of smoke, revealing Evangeline in the same black school uniform with red tie.

"Really now sensei," the vampire lolita chuckled "who else would it be? This IS my resort, and it IS in MY basement." She turned to eye the tagalong group with an mildly irritable glare "For which you STILL haven't provided an excuse for intruding upon."

"But…the voices…the blood…that outfit-!" Asuna stammered, pointing from the vampire to the recovering form of Kuwabara, and the rousing form of Negi who blinked blearily at the girls as he put his glasses back on.

"That? I was merely collecting the boya's tuition fee from him." Evangeline replied with a disdainful snort, as if pointing out the painfully obvious "As for my form a few seconds ago, Kuwabara tends to fidget if I don't restrain him properly, and that can lead to torn arteries all around and I'm not much of a healer…plus it's murder trying to get bloodstains out of this outfit."

"Would ya ease up, Eva-chan." Kuwabara muttered, clamping a hand over his already healing bite marks, earning a glare for the 'chan' suffix "With the way things are here you'd EXPECT them to jump to the wrong conclusion."

"True…" Evangeline allotted, before fixing her classmates with a glare that nailed them, and an equally unnerved Makoto to the spot, suddenly not too confident that they're tailing Negi here was such a good idea "But still, I'd like to know exactly why they felt the need to trespass..."

* * *

Thirty minutes of exposition later found Makoto looking up at the sky of the resort, her world officially rocked and trying to come to grips with everything.

'To think,' she wondered, 'a whole world of magic, hidden right before our eyes.' She shook her head in disbelief 'I mean yeah, I knew there were other magical girls out there, hell we teamed up with a few over the years, but Wizards, vampires and demons?'

Needless to say, after learning that she'd been bunking with a Shinso-class vampire, considered the very pinnacle of undead hierarchy if what she'd been told was true, kind of dampened the impact of Negi-kun being a wizard in training somewhat.

'Still,' the brunette muttered, remembering the penalty that Evangeline had warned them of for uncovering Negi's secret 'Turning the wizard into an ermine for getting caught? Isn't that a little harsh?'

"You okay there, Makoto?" Kuwabara called out, the brunette looking up just as her college buddy sat down next to her on the steps, an understanding smirk on his face "Kinda blows you away doesn't it?"

"Sort of…" Makoto admitted, though internally she was almost too used to strange, magical events. It was simply the sheer enormity of the magical world she belonged to that threw her for a loop. To her, magic meant Henshin rods and hurling spells at opponents that popped up at random, but according to what Evangeline had revealed, most higher level monsters and demons tended to attack en masse, which meant getting your hands dirty. All in all, she liked the sound of the TRUE magical world all the more.

"Anyways…" Kuwabara muttered, the big lug rubbing the back of his neck nervously as he looked away, features apologetic "Sorry fer not tellin' ya about any of this…but I promised Negi I'd keep it all hush-hush n'…"

"I understand Kuwabara." Makoto assured her friend; smiling up at him understandingly as the man blinked at her "A man keeps his word right? Besides, as cute as he'd look, I don't think any of us want to see Negi-kun turned into an ermine."

"Got that right." Kuwabara chuckled, the tantei grinning morbidly at the mental image of Ermine-Negi being crushed into the bosoms of a horde of screeching schoolgirls "Poor kid'd be ripped ta pieces."

"Still," Makoto muttered, the brunete standing up and dusting off her tracksuit pants "to think you'd keep something like this from me…" she turned her back on the man, her arms crossing before her as she held her head high "I thought we were friends…"

"We are!" Kuwabara stammered, waving his hands for emphasis as he leapt to his feet, trying to face the brunette only for her to turn away "But with Negi…then the Dean…the rules-!" He trailed off, blinking as he noticed the way the brunette's shoulders were shaking with restrained laughter, even as she turned to face him.

"It's fine, Kuwabara." Makoto assured her friend, wiping a tear of laughter out of the corner of her eye with one finger "Everyone's got their secrets right? Only a good friend doesn't go around spreading them."

"I hate it when women do that…" Kuwabara muttered, the tantei blushing slightly, tucking his hands into his pockets and kicking a non-existent pebble out of the way, even as Makoto smirked at him "That wasn't fair, Makoto."

"No, it wasn't." Makoto agreed, the brunette offering a kind smile, before walking into the center of the arena-like courtyard and turning to face him , her arms open in a ready stance "So wanna make something of it?"

"Just like old times huh?" Kuwabara snorted, rolling his shoulders and slipping into a stance of his own, which Makoto noted had less holes in it than before "Gotta warn ya now, I ain't the same Kuwabara from college."

"Preaching to the choir pal," Makoto shot back, an equally daring grin on her face as she raced in, opening the fight with a spinning heel kick to the side of his head, which he blocked "you ain't the only one that's changed!"

* * *

"Are you sure about this, Chizu-ne?" Murakami Natsumi asked, the shy, freckled, dram club member looking up from drying the unconscious puppy before her to regard her busty, semi-naked roommate "I mean he is a stray and all…"

"Well we couldn't just ignore him after seeing him like that could we?" Naba Chizuru reasoned, drying off her hair from the rain, the older girl wearing only her bra, skirt and undergarments "I'd like to see to his injuries," she noted, dropping the towel and turning to look for the first-aid kit "could you clean him up a bit first?"

"Hai…" Natsumi sighed, shaking her head in resignation and turning to look for the towel she'd set aside for just that task, only to scream a few seconds later, Chizuru rushing back to see her crouching before the naked form of a young boy with messy black hair "W-what the…Chizu-ne…?!"

"Oh my…" Chizuru wondered, the busty young woman looking over the youth, he couldn't be more than Negi-sensei's age really, in concerned alarm "You don't think that puppy we rescued…?"

"Don't be silly." Natsumi discounted, waving a hand dismissively, though truth be told it was the only thing that made sense, believe it or not, as she slowly began to panic "Still, what're we gonna do Chizu-ne?!"

"Wait…" Chizuru ordered, kneeling down next to the youth and checking his forehead with a concerned frown "Not good, he has a high fever." She noted, getting to her feet and moving for the phone "I'll call the doctor, carry him to the bed would you?"

"B-but he's naked!" Natsumi insisted, blushing at the very idea, only to sigh as Chizuru shot her opinion down in flames with the voice of reason. 'He's kinda cute, now I look at him.' she noted with a blush, taking in the odd things atop his head, moving to lift him, only to pause as a tail popped into existence on his rump "Eh?"

Chizuru's attempt to call the doctor was abruptly prevented as a teaspoon, hurled with deadly speed and accuracy, reduced the phone to so much shattered plastic and circuitry in her hand, even as Natsumi's terrified squeal filled the air.

"Don't…" a dark, but weak sounding voice called out, Chizuru turning to find her roommate held hostage by the selfsame youth, his eyes glaring dangerously at her from over the freckled girl's shoulder, one hand holding her in place as a human shield, the other holding sharp, almost claw-like nails to her throat "No telling anyone I'm here…"

* * *

Cue the Nadesiko music!

Narrator: Comrades clash!

Kuwabara: (Dressed like HKenshiro) MAKOTO!

Makoto: (Dressed like Shin from FOTNS) Bring it Kuwabara!

Narrator: A battle for the ages that will test their ties of loyalty!

Asuna: (Deadpan expression) What the F-?

Narrator: But what's this? What dark designs are afoot?

Kotaro: No sudden-! HEY! WHERE ARE YOU TOUCHING?!

Natsumi: SORRY!!! /////

Narrator: All the while, a deadly secret is unveiled!

Negi: Asuna...I want to show you...

Asuna: Eh? 0///0 Negi?!

Drama! Emotion! Passion!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: Negi! Expose theyself to all!

Negi: EHHHHH?!?!?!?

No children were molested in the making of this fic. So call of the damn witch hunt.

R&R!!!


	40. Chapter 40

Updates for this one might take longer coming out folks, but don't worry, I fully intend to get up to the Chao ark.

Mana: Good, *cocks desert eagle against my head* Now about my screen time...

* * *

40th period.

Life had always had it's ups and downs for one Murakami Natsumi. For one thing, she had, after much trial and error, manage to enroll at the prestigious all-girls academy at Mahora, something that set her apart from her old friends at elementary school. The downside was that, in a class full of admittedly cute, and several exotic, girls, she was undeniably plain and average, and the fact she was insecure about her freckles didn't help.

Another downside to her enrollment was that, considering the distance between the campus and her hometown, she was forced to reside in the dorms, which had been a nerve-wracking experience when she'd heard of it, as she'd never even been to a sleepover before. However, the fact she'd landed two pleasant, make that ideal roommates, had more than made up for this. Yukihiro Ayaka, while a little domineering and eccentric, was nonetheless the type of person that went out of their way to comfort others, and Naba Chizuru was a veritable goddess with her gentle ways and firm stance on ethics. Though truth be told, between Ayaka's bouts of fancy and Chizuru's 'dark-side', Natsumi honestly couldn't tell which was worse.

Now however, as she was held hostage by a cute, admittedly strange boy that may or may not have once been a puppy they'd rescued, the freckled girl was idly wondering if there was something out to get her.

"Wh-who are you?!" the freckled teen demanded, her eyes little spirals of terror as she struggled against her captor, the fact he was panting in her ear doing nothing for her state of mental terror "and what're you doin-!"

"Quiet!" the youth panted, earning a terrified squeal from the girl as he leant in closer, pressing his claws closer to her neck, "Y-you over there…" he panted, addressing the surprisingly calm Chizuru with a glare "I'll need something to eat…and also something to wear…"

Chizuru, who was taking in the scene before her rather well for someone who's roommate was being used as a meat shield, suddenly smiled and drew closer "What's your name?" she asked ever advancing "And where'd you come from? Won't you tell us? Maybe we can help you."

"My n-name you say?!" the youth repeated, seeming to flinch, as if unable to comprehend what she was talking about, the hand aimed at Natsumi's throat rising to cover his face "I…I know I must have one but…what could it…?" he shook his head "N-NO. First I gotta find hi-!"

"Find 'HIM' did you say?" Chizuru asked politely, now standing well within reach of the surprisingly strong boy, close enough to startle him apparently, as he lashed out at her with his claws, opening a small wound on her collarbone, neatly severing one of her bra straps in the process, though the sight of her blood startled him.

"Chizu-ne!" Natsumi gasped, her hands tensing in shock, only to blink as her right hand apparently tightened around something instinctively, her face turning red as she leapt away from the youth, whose face had turned pale with horror as he clasped both hands over his abused parts "S-sorry!"

"Oh my…" Chizuru noted, sounding concerned as she hugged the traumatized youth to her chest, his face mashed between her heavenly peaks, his confused, mortified expression looking up at her as she beamed down at him "That must have hurt a lot…and you've already got a high fever as it is, you should really lie down before you faint…we should check on that arm too."

The youth, either a result of exhaustion, the shock of having his package crushed, or near suffocation from being pressed into the no.1 cleavage of class 3-A, collapsed to his knees in a dead faint, only Chizuru's gentle hands keeping him from falling on his face, the last thing he heard being Natsumi's praising of her roommate, before freaking out at the blood still trailing down her neck.

*******

_Meanwhile..._

While all this had been going on, back at Evangeline's cottage, or rather, inside the magical resort hidden in the basement, the group that had come to spy on Negi were getting their fingers into everything they could, including Evangeline's special cask of snacks, much to her ire.

"You want ME to teach YOU magic?!" Evangeline repeated, looking over the insistent forms of Yue and Nodoka in disbelief, a little flushed from yelling at the bluenette for trying to drink her personal 'juice' supply, which was in actual fact a type of fermented tropical wine. "Now why'd I do something as mundane as that?" she muttered, shooing the dup away "Go ask the boya, he's your sensei isn't he?"

"N-Negi-sensei's sparring with K-Kuwabara-sensei and K-Kino-sensei." Nodoka replied back nervously, earning an inquisitive stare from the maga nosferatu "Apparently Kino-sensei wants to use the time here to improve on her skills."

"A woman after my own heart." Evangeline noted with mock approval, her lips twisting sardonically as she turned to watch the fight, noting with distaste that Kuwabara and the Boya were holding back a LOT, at least in terms of overall brute force. It showed because Negi kept getting sent flying, despite the fact he should've been easily been able to counter her blows, and the fact that Kuwabara was fighting her toe to toe without injuring her.

Though this was no insult to the woman's skill, every blow was timed and coordinated with such precision it was actually making Ku Fei, who'd been acting as referee, drool buckets, the odd Chinese Kempo practitioner literally chomping at the bit, only Chachamaru and Kazumi keeping her from leaping into the fray.

'Both she and Kuwabara are holding back their full power.' Evangeline noted, sensing the duo's movements and energy levels with the ease of practice, 'power wise she isn't anywhere NEAR Kuwabara's level, but in terms of skill…'

"HYAKURETSU!" Makoto yelled, delivering a veritable storm of kicks to Kuwabara's chest that sent the man skidding backwards, her face flushed as she grinned at him in approval "You weren't kidding Kuwabara…you've never lasted this long before." She smirked at him "and I see you got over the whole 'Women are weak' thing."

"I never thought women were weak." Kuwabara countered, smirking as he settled back into a stance "Hell, anyone that spent any amount o' time with Shizuru-ne should know that," he smirked at her "I don't like hitting women, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let 'em walk all over me."

"Good to hear." Makoto acknowledged, shifting into a lower pose, before launching herself forward with a spear-kick that spun her whole body in mid-air like a drill "It's more fun when you fight back!"

"UOH! CAN NO HOLD BACK ARU!" Ku Fei roared, Baka Yellow's eyes practically glowing with eagerness as she slipped past her restraints and landed in front of Negi, who was groggily getting back to his feet "DISCIPLE! YOU SPARRING NOW ARU!"

"WAH! KU-ROSHI! WAIT-!" Negi yelped, the young magi trying to make his student/martial arts master see reason, only to instinctively slip into a defensive stance as he fended off the blonde's strikes "HIIEEE!! MASTER! HELP!"

"Such a bothersome disciple…" Evangeline muttered, shaking her head in disbelief as she watched Nagi's son get launched through the air, Kuwabara and Makoto too focused on their own duel to pay his screams for mercy any mind.

*******

_Several minutes later..._

"You want me to teach you magic?" Negi repeated, looking at the girls in disbelief as he sipped a mana replenishing concoction of Evangeline's, allowing Konoka and Chachamaru to see to his wounds "I don't know…Master?"

"Do what you want." The Shinso muttered, her feet kicking in the air as she lay on her belly, reading a book "May as well take attendance while you're at it. The air here's so saturated with magic that even an amateur can probably pull off a trick or two."

"That's what powers ME while we're here!" Chachazero admitted with a cackle, earning nervous looks from the girls, who all wisely decided to sidle warily away from Evangeline's psychopathic puppet partner.

"Well…okay!" Negi agreed, leading them away from Evangeline so she could relax in peace, setting a bunch of wands on the ground before him "Let's start with something simple, pick a starter wand from here, and while wielding it, chant: Practibigi Naru Ardescat!"

The group, which included an intrigued Makoto and Kuwabara, looked on in awe as a tiny, candle-like flame burst into being on the tip of Negi's wand, earning a round of applause from them all.

"Obviously it'd be a lot easier to just use a lighter." Negi reasoned, the young magi blushing in embarrassment at the praise he was getting for something hardly anyone used "But for a beginner this is a pretty good spell to learn."

"I think I'll give that a go." Makoto chuckled, earning a confused look from the group, and a knowing smirk from Evangeline, as she nudged Kuwabara with her elbow "Whadd'ya say Kuwabara? You up for it?"

"What the hell, why not." Kuwabara muttered, the ponytailed Tantei accepting the moon wand from Negi and looking it over suspiciously, while Makoto picked up the one that looked like Saturn, twirling it like her henshin pen in her hand "On three?"

"Practibigi Naru Ardescat!" Makoto chanted, twirling the wand in a rough imitation of Negi's own movements, a smile coming to her face as the flame popped into existence, though for some reason a small electrical spark had preceded it "Hey, I did it!"

"And on your first time too!" Negi noted, the stunned western wizard applauding along with the rest of his students, "That's impressive Makoto-san! Even I had to practice like crazy before I could do that!"

"Ardescat!" Kuwabara cried out, the pontailed Tantei thrusting the moon wand out irritably again and again, his brows furrowing as the flame refused to light "Dammit, maybe I'm just not suited for magic…"

"Don't say that sensei!" Konoka insisted, the daughter of Eishun beaming at her lanky, first pactio partner encouragingly even as the others eagerly took up the gauntlet "There's always eastern magic, right?"

"Indeed." Setsuna agreed, walking up beside Konoka, looking on with interest as Yue actually put more effort into trying to perform the spell than anything else "For example, I may not know western sorcery…" she chanted a word and a flame popped into existence over her finger "But I can perform a similar, less taxing spell nonetheless."

"Might look into that…" Kuwabara noted, the Tantei nodding his head with interest as Konoka glomped the flustered swordswoman in glee "Maybe Eishun-san's got a few hints…he's the elder of Kyoto after all…"

"Ku Fei you cheater!" the group cried out, Kuwabara looking round just in time to see them dog-piling on Baka Yellow, who'd apparently taken Negi's words to heart, and was taking the easy way out of using a lighter.

Needless to say, between breaking the fight, wrangling hints on eastern magic out of a flustered Setsuna, and a follow-up free-for all spar between him, Makoto, Evangeline, Chachamaru, Negi and Ku Fei, the tantei was well and truly exhausted come nightfall.

*******

_Back with Natsumi and Chizuru..._

"What should we do with him?" Natsumi wondered aloud, the freckled girl looking up from the prone, slumbering form of the cute, but strange boy that they had unwittingly brought back to their home, as she knelt by his side.

"Oh my," Naba Chizuru chuckled aloud, her face lined with good cheer as she set about tidying the room, looking for all the world like a mother cleaning up after her kids "I wonder what Ayaka will say when she comes back?"

Natsumi, who had no doubt that their roommate would have a LOT to say when she learned of their taking in a stray, blinked as said stray began to whimper in his sleep, leaning in close to hear what he was talking about "Now he's talking about 'Negi' in his sleep!" she cried out, wondering just what on earth the kid could be dreaming of.

"Oh! Perhaps he's talking about how they lower fevers with suppositories of Negi!" Chizuru reasoned, the bustiest member of 3A looking ever so chipper as she pulled one of the aforementioned japanese leeks out of thin air, rolling up her sleeves as she advanced on the comatose teen "And what do you know! I happen to have one right here! Shall we-?"

"Y-YOU CAN'T CHIZU-NE!" Natsumi shrieked, horrified at what her roommate was planning to do to the poor boy, as you could never tell when Chizuru was kidding "NOT TO A BOY YOU'VE JUST MET!"

"…have to…tell him…" said boy whimpered, turning fitfully in his sleep, unaware of the violation he'd narrowly escaped "Danger…coming closer…"

*******

_Mahora grounds..._

Out in the streets of Mahora, amidst the shadows and falling rain, a set of eyes loomed out of a nearby puddle, taking in the empty streets soullessly, before retreating back into the darkness.

"_**Negi Springfield…" **_a set of voices called out in tandem, almost ephemeral as they echoed down the long abandoned streets "_**Kagurazaka Asuna…"**_

*******

_Evangeline's Resort, Night..._

Kuwabara awoke with a snort, sitting upright on the bed that had been set aside for him, looking blearily up at the stars as he yawned, only to blink at the sight of Makoto sitting on the steps, fiddling with a wand. "Ardescat…" the brunette muttered, smiling as the flame crackled into existence again, though it was still heralded by a burst of static, unlike the others.

"You're getting pretty good at that." Kuwabara noted, the lanky professor walking up to her barefoot, dressed in his tracksuit pants and a vest as he sat next to her "Maybe you should look into a few more spells?"

"Might just do that." Makoto admitted, twirling the wand between her fingers expertly as she smiled up at her old college buddy, her eyes dancing coyly "After all, at least ONE of us has to pull this off."

"Oi, you trying to start a fight?" Kuwabara growled, swatting her good-naturedly on the shoulder and earning a dig to the ribs for his trouble "I'm just not suited to western magic…or maybe I've no magic at all."

"Don't say that," Makoto insisted, looking up at the big lug with a reproving expression, as it wasn't like him to quit so easily "After all, how many times was it you showed up Rei whenever she challenged your sixth sense?"

"Five hundred and ninety-nine times, what's your point?" Kuwabara asked with a grin, earning a bark of guilty laughter from the brunette as she slapped him on the back giddily, the two of the revelling in their memories.

"Don't ever change Kuwabara." Makoto chuckled, the brunette wiping a tear of mirth out of her eyes, only to blink as she caught sight of movement down in the square "Hello? Is that…Negi-kun? With Asuna-san?"

"She's probably ragging on the brat for training late." Kuwabara reasoned, having gotten a decent understanding of Asuna's character during the duration of his stay at Mahora "Good thing she did, otherwise the kid would burn himself out, training at the pace he does."

"Young love." Makoto chuckled, earning a snort from the tantei, who rolled his eyes at the idea of the two ever shacking up, the brunette slowly getting to her feet, smiling down at her college buddy daringly "Wanna go tease them?"

"You women are evil." Kuwabara muttered, though he rose grudgingly to follow after the brunette as she skipped eagerly towards the duo, smirking wryly at Negi as they came upon the duo in the middle of their talk "Evenin' Bozu."

"Kuwabara-san, Kino-san." Negi greeted, even as Asuna bowed to the sensei duo respectfully, earning a smile from Makoto "I was just talking to Asuna san about…well…the reason I'm so focused on becoming a Magister Magi."

"Sorta like Merlin or a Fairy Godparent." Kuwabara explained to the confused Makoto, who nodded in understanding "I gotta admit, I've been curious about that too…" he muttered, turning to Negi with a nod :I mean besides th' whole wantin' ta find yer father bit."

"Well, the more the merrier I say!" Chamo called out, the pervin' Ermine having already chalked a magical circle on the marble floor with his usual swiftness "All set aniki! I even drew up an extra large one for the sensei here!"

"This ain't another Pactio circle is it?" Kuwabara muttered, glaring at the Ermine suspiciously, having learned that HE had been the one behind most of the Pactio rituals thus far, and his ulterior motives for doing so.

"Nope!" Chamo assured the man, knowing exactly why the man was so supicious of him, and not wanting to be strangled so soon after the last time "This circle's designed to take all those inside on a journey through Aniki's memory! Sort of like a movie, only you're walking alongside the cast!"

"Sounds trippy…count me in!" Makoto cheered, the energetic brunette kneeling eagerly down next to Asuna, before grinning up at the understandably nervous Kuwabara, patting the ground next to her invitingly "C'mon ya big lug."

"I just know I'm gonna regret this…" Kuwabara muttered, kneeling into the circle, shooting one last glare at Chamo, even as Negi's magic caused a light to go off behind his eyeballs. When the lights cleared, the tantei found himself standing in the middle of a European town, snow falling gently around him, as naked as the day he was born.

"I knew it…" he muttered exasperatedly, even as Makoto and Asuna's twin shrieks of mortification filled the air "Magic is nothin' but trouble!"

*******

_Evangeline's Resort, ten seconds after memory spell begins..._

"Hey…" Kazumi called out, drawing everyone's attention away from Nodoka's artifact as she held her chin pensively, "I'm all for hearing about Negi-kun's past…but what about Kuwabara-sensei or Kino-sensei?"

"You and your muck-raking…" Evangeline muttered, shooting the paparazzi a deadpan expression "you're already peeping uninvited into the boya's past, I have an excuse as his master and Nodoka's the one using the artifact, the rest of you are just nosy."

"C'mon, don't tell me you haven't wondered how they know one another?" Kazumi insisted, trying tonder the vampire's skin "After all, they may be college buddies, but they seem pretty close even for just being friends…"

"They could be having kinky monkey sex in the bathtub for all I care." Evangeline muttered dismissively, earning mortified looks from some of the girls "If you feel the need to satisfy your perverse hunger for knowledge, do it AFTER I'm done checking on my disciple."

*******

_Negi's memories..._

"On a scale of one to ten that was the most retarded thing I've ever seen, Bozu." Kuwabara muttered, the tantei watching as Negi's uncle hauled the then four year-old Negi out of the freezing lake water.

"I understand that now." Negi's astral voice admitted, his tone subdued as they watched Nekane, Negi's cousin, collapse onto his bed, crying out of grief at how her innocent words had driven the boy to such action "But back then I honestly thought that if I was in great enough danger, my father would come to save me."

"The ignorance of mortality…" Makoto muttered, shaking her in pity and understanding as chibi-Negi tried to comfort his weeping cousin "Children don't believe in death…it can lead to some harsh lessons."

"None so harsh as the one that was to follow…" Negi agreed, his tone layered with a hint of foreboding as the scene changed to a shot of the boy fishing at a lake, the snow still falling gently all around him. Makoto and Asuna, completely smitten with the child's cuteness, giggled as they watched him run towards the village, only to gape at the sight that awaited them all.

Fire, the entire village had been set alight, casting an angry, murderous red glow over the countryside, dark smoke rising into the suddenly darkened sky.

"Whoa what th' hell!?" Kuwabara gaped, the naked tantei looking around in alarm as he took in the carnage that was raging all around him, only to blink as Chibi-Negi raced deeper into the flames "OI! BOZU!"

"Uncle!" the memory of the youth cried out in English, the onlookers able to comprehend the language due to their being in Negi's mind, as the spell acted as a type of translator "Uncle! Nekane! Un…cle…?"

"Oh God…" Makoto gasped, looking upon the sight of the mass of statues barring the boy's path, recognizing them immediately as victims of a mass petrification spell, having faced off against a Youma with similar abilities once before.

"Th-this is MY fault!" Chibi-Negi cried, the memroy of the young western wizard falling on his knees and crying his eyes out as the flames raged unchecked around him, like a scene from Dante's Inferno "I made this happen!"

"Don't be stupid!" Asuna yelled, the astral form of Baka Red hovering unseen before the memory of Negi's past self, her arms spread wide as she tried to get his attention "There's no way in hell this is your fault! Quit talking like-!"

"We got company…" Kuwabara growled, the redhead whipping round just in time to see the sensei facing off against a veritable horde of demons, some human shaped, some nothing more than balls of goo. One, a particularly beefy looking creature with cloven hooves and tusks, reared an arm back as if to smash the little boy, Kuwabara letting out a snarl as he lashed out, his internal instinct to protect the child overriding the fact this was merely a memory. Therefore it came as quite a shock when the demon's blow came to a halt as he punched it.

'What th' hell?' the tantei wondered, gaping at his incorporeal fist in shock, only to realize it WASN'T him that stopped the blow, turning his head to the side to see a tall, familiar figure with spiky brown hair and a staff standing next to him, warding off the blow with one hand 'That's-!'

The silent figure pushed the demon back, a smirk on his face as several words in Latin exited it, even as a bolt of lightning descended from on high, vivisecting the demon with one strike. The horde, as if enraged by their comrade's death, swarmed the man from all sides, only to be beaten back by a combination of high speed blows and spells that made them easier to deal with, even as the incorporeal onlookers gaped at him in awe.

'Wha-what the hell?' Kuwabara stammered, easily recognizing the man from Evangeline's dream 'I thought Negi's old man was a fake!? A dropout that relied on tricks!' he gaped as the man launched a Jovis Tempestas right into the horde's main body, decimating them and punching a hole through the countryside 'This power sure as hell ain't fake!'

"S-so you're him-!" a voice called out, the Tantei's gaze snapping towards the sight of Nagi, or whoever the hell the caped figure was, holding a demon off the ground by it's neck, his features hidden in shadow "The…degree of your power…" the demon noted with a hint of mockery in its tone "Tough to tell which of us is the monster…"

Kuwabara, who had caught the look on the man's face in time, leapt in front of Makoto and Asuna, even as the sickening crack of snapping vertebrae filled the air, glaring over his shoulder at the man 'Now I know somethin's up.' He muttered, even as Asuna demanded he get out of the way 'Someone who can kill with that kinda face…'

The last time Kuwabara had seen that face on a human being had been when Sensui Shinobu had apparently killed Yusuke, for no other reason than the fact the Tantei had stood in his predecessor's way. On the one hand, it was almost sad, like he pitied the person he was killing, but on the other…

Sadly, Chibi-Negi, being a memory, had not been given the luxury of avoiding that look on his supposed savior's face, and had run off into the night, forcing the group to float after him in concern.

"Slow down Negi-kun!' Makoto called out, the astral form of the Senshi of Jupiter trying to reason with the traumatized, childhood memory of her young colleague fruitlessly "There may still be demons lurking in the-!"

Sure enough, a horned demon, clad in something akin to a breastplate loomed out of the fire, perched on a piece of blazing rubble as he looked upon the youth, his mouth opening wide as a beam of white light fired at the terrified youth.

"NEGI!"

* * *

God I'm a bastard aren't I?

BLAM!

**HEAD SHOT**

Mana: Indeed you are.

Cue the Nadesico music!

Narrator: A Sneak Attack!

Demon: I'MA FIRIN' MAH LAYZAR! **BWAAAAAAAAAARGHH!!!**

Kuwabara: WE DID THIS ALREADY!

Narrator: But a sacrifice of age ensures the youthes are spared!

Stan: YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS! MAFUUBA!

Narrator: But what dark presence stalks the halls of Mahora?!

???: Hm...so this is where they're holed up...

Narrator: Can our heroes survive this latest threat on their doorstep?!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: Childhood's End! The Return of the Nightmare!

Herrmann: You are cordially invited (Tips his hat, mouth glowing) **To the End of Days...**

Note: No animals were harmed during the making of this chapter...Kotaro's nuts aside, but then he's not an animal...most of the time...


	41. Chapter 41

I LIVE!

And so does this fic, which is being editted as we speak to deal with FF's constant changing of the font.

Kuwabara: Seriously, WTF?

I know man, in the meantime, LET'S RAWK!

* * *

41st period.

"NO!" Asuna cried out, leaping desperately in front of the terrified form of Chibi-Negi, even as Kuwabara and Makoto tackled the demon, the duo cursing as they sailed right through it, a blast of magical energy launching from the creature's mouth towards the youth, only to be intercepted by two figures that thankfully WEREN'T incorporeal.

"That old man from the bar…and his cousin?" Asuna realized, looking upon the two magic users in confused relief, only for her eyes to widen as she realized the barrier they had erected to halt the attack hadn't done anything, as the duo were slowly turning to stone from the feet up.

As the group looked on in horror, Nekane, either as a result of her stance or some other cause, let out a pained gasp, which turned into a full on scream as her legs, turned to stone just under the knees, snapped off mid-way, sending her crashing to the ground, out cold from the pain.

"SHIT!" Kuwabara yelled, trying once again to tackle the demon as it lunged in for the kill, flanked by three, amorphous shapes composed of Goo, his fists merely passing through them despite his best efforts, even as old man Stan pulled another trick out from under his pointy hat.

"Hexagrama Et Pentagrama…!" the old man chanted, pulling a small, corked bottle out of his robes, his pipe rising and falling with every word "Malos Spiritus Sigillent!" he hurled the uncorked bottle at their assailants, a magical rune appearing in mid-air as the demons were sucked into it, their wails echoing horrifically over the sound of the vortex and Stan's final words "LAGENA SIGNATORIA!"

"Okay…" Kuwabara muttered, watching with mute disbelief as the bottle sealed itself, and the demons, before dropping to the floor with a little fanfare, rolling out of sight into the burning rubble "now THAT was bad-ass magic."

"You won't hear me denying it." Makoto muttered, hovering over to look at the vial, wondering if Rei had ever heard of anything like this, even as Asuna called out for them, looking back to find Chibi-Negi crying in the petrified arms of Old Stan, who had finally succumbed to the petrification spell, though not without giving the boy a few last words. "Dammit! I hate being useless!" Makoto snapped, punching her fist into her palm in irritation "This is wrong! This shouldn't have happened! Demon scum!"

Kuwabara merely nodded, but held his tongue as the brunette ranted on. He'd seen the evils that demons could accomplish. Hell he was on speaking terms, sort of, with Hiei for God's sake! Now there was a demon with no respect for human life.

But he also knew that humans were far from infallible too, hell if anything, there were some humans out there that made even demons recoil in terror. A good example would be Genkai, whose name still inspired equal amounts of fear and hatred in demon circles despite her advanced years and decrease in power, a better example of the worst of the worst would be Sakyo and the members of the Black Book Club, who used demons to satisfy their sick desires, and had actually turned Sensui on his own kind simply by letting him witness their perversions.

And the less said about the elder Toguro brother the better. After all, it took a pretty sick mind to come up with some of the things he did, as even though he and his brother had sold their souls to become demons, the Younger Toguro had still held onto his morals, which made one wonder just what the elder brother had been like as a human.

It was at that moment, just as the group were trying to decide what to do next, that the mysterious cloaked figure reappeared, standing before the stricken five year-old and his cousin. No words were said, but within seconds the group found themselves moved from the middle of the burning village to a vantage point of a grassy cliff, several miles away, watching as Negi's hometown burned.

"Forgive me." The figure spoke, his voice laden with sorrow and regret as he watched the village burn in the distance "I came too late." He blinked, looking round as Negi stood up, the little boy glaring at him, practice wand in hand, as he stood between the man and his cousin.

"You're…Negi aren't you?" the man asked, as if only recognizing the youth for the first time, walking towards the boy slowly as he tensed "I see…so you protect your cousin."

Kuwabara, heedless of the fact he was intangible, stepped beside the trembling Negi and glared at the man, unwilling to trust anyone that had made THAT face, only to blink as the man knelt and ruffled the boy's hair.

"You're so big…" the man noted, almost wistfully, ruffling the stunned child's hair with a hint of wonderment in his tone "That's right…" he recalled, holding out his staff, which Kuwabara recognized as the one Negi was always carrying around "I want you to have this…call it a legacy." He chuckled as the chibi-Negi struggled to lift it "Ha-ha…a bit heavy for you is it?" he asked, only to frown and look up into the sky "We're out of time, Nekane will be fine, I halted the petrification." He nodded at the young woman "Find someone else to bring her back all the way." That said, the man rose into the night sky, as if drawn there by some unseen force "I wish I could do more, but I must leave." He stated, smiling at the frantic form of Negi as he rose higher "Grow strong…Be Happy…"

And then he was gone, leaving a bawling Negi with an oversized lump of wood, the wounded form of his cousin, and the sight of their home burning amidst the falling snow.

* * *

_Dream continues... _

"My cousin and I were rescued three days later." Negi admitted, the events flashing forwards even as Asuna and Makoto wiped their tears, Kuwabara stubbornly refusing to cry "From that day on, for five years, I studied as hard as I could at the Magic Academy."

"What happened to your village?" Makoto asked, looking around them in concern as the people Negi had met at the academy walked around them.

"I don't know." Negi admitted solemnly, the scene before them shifting to a conversation he had with the Magus of the Magic Academy and Nekane, who were smiling at him with looks of pity in their eyes "I'd ask, and they'd reply 'That's nothing you need to worry about'"

"Th' hell it wasn't…" Kuwabara grumbled, growling in irritation at how unfeeling the people were being, even if it wasn't intentional "If my hometown was ransacked by demons I'd have raised hell till I got some answers!"

"Yes well…" Negi stammered, sounding uncertain with whether or not he approved of such tactics, for one thing he doubted it'd be proper "That night in the snow…I'd remember it and feel afraid. I put everything into my studies, a determination I didn't know I had." He sighed "But all I wanted was my father, the man, that brilliant mage that rescued me, I wanted nothing more than to see him again." His tone grew heavy "And yet…even today, I believe that horrible event was the result, of my stupid belief that, were I in enough danger, my father would come…"

"ARE YOU RETARDED?" Asuna yelled, the force of her rage actually ripping them out of the dreamscape and back into their bodies as she forcibly grabbed Negi by the shoulders "The demons were the ones at fault! You were only five years old! No way in HELL could that have been your doing!"

"She's right Bozu." Kuwabara muttered, pulling himself upright from his fall, having nearly fallen off the edge of the stairs when Asuna broke the spell, laying a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder "You can't go blamin' yerself for everythin' that goes wrong."

"And besides." Makoto reasoned, hugging the youth from behind with an encouraging smile on her face "You saw it yourself, your father is alive…that means there's still a chance of meeting him some day."

"Yeah!" Asuna insisted, pumping her fist in determination as Negi looked between them in honest confusion "So toss that 'it's all my fault' B.S outta your head and-eh?"

She trailed off, looking around in alarm at the sight of her classmates, even the usually taciturn Yue, bawling their eyes out not three feet away. Even Chachamaru's face was notably less emotionless, whilst Ku Fei's features could best be described as 'waterfall with eyes'.

"What're you all…?" Kuwabara stammered, catching sight of Nodoka's artifact and scowling in understanding, only to yelp as the emotional horde tackled the startled form of Negi En Masse, nearly throwing the tantei over the edge "GAH! CONTROL! HELP! THE LEDGE-! GIRLS, THE LEDGE! OH SHI-!"

"G-Girls please!" Negi insisted, trying to calm them down as they all offered their support in looking for his errant sire, heedless of Kuwabara's dilemma "I could never ask such a thing of you! Master!" he yelled the last at Evangeline "Tell them why it's wrong to even suggest it!"

"I…I wouldn't mind helping either…" the Maga Nosferatu stammered, turning her face away from her dumbstruck disciple, even as Chachazero gaped at the sight of her master's tears "at least a little…"

"YEAH!" Kazumi cheered, punching an energetic fist in the air, the other holding a bottle of Amazake she'd apparently pulled out of the cooler "Whadd'ya say we toast one more time, to finding Negi's father!"

"Toast all you want after you PULL ME BACK UP THIS LEDGE!" Kuwabara roared, holding on for dear life, having been shoved over the edge in the girl's mad bid to comfort Negi, his legs kicking frantically as the girls leapt to his aid.

Needless to say much booze was inhumed that night.

* * *

_Meanwhile... _

In room 665 of the junior high dorms the sound of the storm outside was muted by the thick, insulated walls and glass, though the rain pattered heavily on the window. Sadly, these conveniences meant little to the youth stuffing his face at the table, putting away mouthful on mouthful of satisfying grub as fast as Chizuru could put it out.

"Whoa…" Natsumi exclaimed, looking on in awe as the boy put away his seventh bowl of food, all the while praising it's taste "He sure bounced back fast," she noted, looking over the thermometer in amazement "his fever's gone too!"

"Have you remembered anything aside from your name, Kotaro-kun?" Chizuru asked, stepping out of the kitchenette and smiling at the boy.

"Not really." Kotaro admitted around a mouthful of sausage, a weary look on his young face as he shook his head "S'like my head's in a fog…"

"Is that so?" Chizuru asked, a kindly smile on her face "Then it can't be helped…" abruptly, her face took on a shadowy visage as she rolled up her sleeve, an oversized leek appearing in her hand out of thin air **"Maybe a Negi suppository will clear that fog!"** she advanced on the youth, who backed away as best he could, his face a mask of absolute terror **"Last time you woke up before I could…"**she admitted, pulling another stalk out and rubbing the two together, as if sharpening a knife, only for them to abruptly vanish as she dragged the terrified youth towards the bathroom "Kidding! Now let's get you all washed up shall we?"

"Poor Kotaro-kun…" Natsumi sighed, completely forgetting the fact the boy had, not even an hour ago, been using her as a hostage "he's already Chizu-ne's plaything…" she clapped her hands together in prayer "Namu…"

Though quite frankly, the fact that there was someone else to bear the load of Chizuru's 'playful' streak, which could traumatize those less accustomed to the older girl, was a great source of relief for the shy Drama Club member.

* * *

_Evangeline's woods... _

"Good grief that's a fierce lookin' storm a brewin'…" Kuwabara muttered, looking out the window of Evangeline's cottage at the falling rain "I didn't know any better I'd swear it was monsoon season."

"Hard to believe it's only been an hour out here." Makoto agreed, looking out into the thunderstorm, which had apparently only worsened since they left "If we'd had something like this back during our Uni days cramming for exams would've been a cinch!"

"You think so?" Evangeline chuckled, looking up at the brunette, drawing the attention of the denizens of 3-A with her tone "You DO realize that you'll age faster with repeated use, right?"

"Gack…good point…" Makoto muttered, recalling the time bending aspects of the loop, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that, in the space of an hour, she'd aged a day.

"I no mind!" cheered out an enthusiastic Ku Fei, who was more than willing to sacrifice a day if it meant she could further her skills, and possibly raise her GPA, a sentiment that was shared surprisingly by Kazumi, who actually dismissed the loss of a day or two as unimportant.

"I mean think about it." Kazumi reasoned with a smirk "It's not like we're losing a year right? And besides, us girls have our whole lives ahead of us anyways."

"And just what're you implying by that, Asakura?" Makoto growled, looming over the suddenly nervous paparazzi like the shadow of death, the denizens of 3-A deciding that it was time to head home as they literally tore down the door to escape her glare.

"Thought they'd never leave…" Evangeline muttered, sighing explosively as she recalled how hectic it had been trying to keep the misfits out of areas they had no call entering.

"Tell me about it…I'm beat…" Kuwabara muttered, stretching with an audible yawn, having spent the time either sparring with Makoto, Negi or an overly enthusiastic Ku Fei, practicing his materialization skills, and focusing on his reiki. As it stood, he'd already gotten several good hours of sleep in the resort, but his body still felt pretty hammered from the training "I'm hittin' the sack…"

"Pleasant dreams." Makoto chuckled, smiling teasingly at the Tantei as he made for the steps, "Try not to fall asleep in the tub!"

Kuwabara looked at her in confusion, noting a matching smirk on Evangeline's face that for some reason made him feel decidedly nervous, deciding that maybe he'd just settle with a shower before hitting the hay.

Evangeline, shaking her head with a chuckle, suddenly froze, all traces of amusement vanishing as she peered out into the rain, her eyes narrowed in concentration.

"Is something wrong, Master?" Chachamaru asked, the gynoid coming up behind the midian as Makoto made her way towards the kitchen for a mid-night snack.

"No…" Evangeline muttered after a moment's silence, though she continued to glare out into the night suspiciously "Probably my imagination…"

Not that Evangeline believed that for a second. She hadn't lived as long as she had by not being absolutely sure of her surroundings, and ever since Nagi had stripped her of the sum total of her magical ability, she'd seen to it that her awareness of her surroundings was top notch, enough that even the most paranoid conspiracy theorist would've have accused her of going to far.

As such, she subtly sent word to the few members of the Mahora patrol still awake via Chachamaru's communications function, telling them to keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary around the campus that evening.

Which basically meant they'd be packing live ammo and steel instead of stun rounds, as when it came to Mahora, UNUSUAL generally meant a threat to the campus.

* * *

_Girl's dorms... _

Yukihiro Ayaka, sole heir of the Yukihiro family, future leader of the Yukihiro Corporation and current Class Representative of Class 3-A at Mahora Academy, was having a fairly good day.

Not only had her classmates, usually on the far side of 'uncivilized', been relatively well behaved during today's lessons, but just as she was returning from filing a report with her father, who required regular updates on her situation at the campus, she'd bumped into none other than her beloved Negi-sensei, the child-sensei greeting her in the hallway not too far from her dorm room, no doubt on his way to carry out some piece of work for the dean.

'Ah, not only is he adorable, but he has the soul of a gentleman.' The shotacon sighed, watching as the loveable welsh homeroom teacher dashed off, having complimented her in passing 'He's exactly as a young boy should be,' she sighed, envisioning once again how her still-born little brother might have been 'there are those that could stand to learn a thing or two from him…' she trailed of as several panicked yells emitted from her dorm room, the sounds of a full scale riot seemingly taking place behind the door.

'Speaking of which…' she muttered, wondering if Chizuru was tormenting Natsumi again, opening the door with an audible clack "Really, Chizuru," she chastised with a sigh "can't you keep the noise down-?"

That was as far as Ayaka got before a small, black and white blur rammed into her stomach like a shotacon cruise-missile, her eyes bulging out of her head from the force of the tackle that would've downed even the stoutest rugby players, sending the blonde slumping to the floor in a boneless heap.

Needless to say, this was NOT Ayaka's definition of a good first impression.

"Who on earth IS this boy?" she demanded, after recuperating from her encounter, glaring at the boy from the other side of the table, dividing her ire between the unrepentant youth, a nervous looking Natsumi, and the ever cheerful Chizuru "He almost made me spit out the pasta I had for lunch!"

"Now-now Ayaka," Chizuru insisted calmingly, smiling serenely at her incensed roommate while Kotaro muttered under his breath "This is Natsumi-chan's Outoto, Murakami Kotaro." She turned her head at the cries of shock from the apparent siblings, their looks of shock turning to looks of terrified submission **"Isn't that right?"**

"Oh…" Ayaka gasped, placing a hand to her mouth as she looked between the understandably nervous 'siblings' in confusion "But be that as it may, what is he doing-?"

"Well, you see…" Chizuru began, suddenly looking stricken as she wiped tears from her eyes with her napkin "back at Natsumi-chan's home the situation is so bad you just wouldn't believe it, it's like a soap opera really…" she carried on despite Natsumi's cry of protest "and poor Kotaro-kun, well naturally Natsumi-chan's the only one he can come to!"

"H-How awful!" Ayaka stammered, her eyes wide with disbelief as various scenarios from a number of soap operas carried out inside her head, looking at the admittedly scruffy youth in concern "If that's the case I don't see the harm in-!"

"So is this the Old Lady that's in charge of this joint or what?" Kotaro asked, earning an exasperated look from Natsumi and a cheerful smile from Chizuru, even as Ayaka pulled a perfect somersault in mid-air, before planting her face into the carpet.

"OLD LADY?" Asuna's rival/best friend shrieked, getting right into the little brat's face in her hysteria "I'll have you know I'm all of fourteen you little-!"

"Fourteen?" Kotaro yelped, looking the Class Rep over in alarm as he took in her flustered appearance "No way! Maybe in DOG years but-!"

Whatever the youth had been about to say was cut off as Ayaka, her face oddly akin to her rival's during one of Negi's mishaps, planted her fist into the brat's skull with enough force for blood to spurt from his nose. Hardly befitting of a good first impression indeed.

However, the hidden onlookers could care less on Kotaro's inability to properly introduce himself to the fairer sex, having tracked the Inu-Hanyou all the way from Kyoto, resulting in an encounter that had left the boy beaten and defenseless where Chizuru had found him.

* * *

_Mahora Grounds... _

"The one we beat up near the academy has been located." One of the intruders reported, the slimy, amorphous body twirling upwards in the shadow of the roof space "The magical confusion spell must be working if he's idling around with girls like this, at the very least he's suffering from temporary Amnesia."

**_"Settle things there then while we can."_** A voice called out, seemingly out of thin air, the tone dark and laced with power and authority, even as the puddles of Goo morphed into three, admittedly cute, girls.

"As part of his punishment," the one wearing glasses and a kindergarten outfit reported, typing away at a palm-held computer that looked like a laptop in her small hands "the special abilities of Inugami Kotaro have been sealed."

"He can still use Chi though…" a calm, almost disinterested voice pointed out, the speaker a little girl with long hair that trailed to the floor and a bored expression on her face.

"Now would be the time to strike" suggested the apparent leader of the group, a slime-girl whose hair was done up in a manner similar to Makie's, only with different ribbons.

**_"Agreed."_** The dark, authoritative voice called out over their magical connection **_"Begin operations as planned…and don't let the High-Daylight Walker spot you!"_**

"Relax, we're in stealth mode." The leader opined, smirking to herself, though the idea of being caught on the Maga Nosferatu's turf made her shiver a little "We'll be fine."

**_"Just take care…"_** the voice ordered, the speaker a tall, Black-clad figure in a dark leather trench coat, wide brimmed hat and boots, who was standing out in the middle of the thunderstorm, looking in on the dorms as lighting crashed around him.

"Well then…" the figure muttered, sighing softly as he looked up at the dorm buildings with grim purpose in his eyes "Time to start."

* * *

Little short, but it'll do for now.

Cue the Nadesico music.

What new perils have arrived on campus?

1: Prepare for trouble!

2: Make it double!

3: But there's three of us...

This dark stranger's sights are locked on Kotaro!

?: So this is where our little stray has got to.

Kotaro: You're-!

Will Negi and the girls be able to handle this new development!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: Strangers in the Night!

?: **We're having a special on wishes? A_ny takers?_**


	42. Chapter 42

Been a while for this one, hasn't it. Mainly because I was originally planning on linking several of my fics together, but that might not fall through. As it stands, this one takes place 'After' the events of Shun Goku WTF, which is still on, Hiatus, sorry.

As I said before, I am off the Naruto Bandwagon, so please stop asking me about my Naruto fics. So far as I'm concerned, the Knucklehead Ninja's died after the Valley of The End (VOTE), or he may as well have after the crap Shippuden's put us through.

As for my Code Geass Works, as I said, 2nd Chance was a 'Proto-fic' to help me get a grip on Lelouch's character, and those of the rest of the geass cast, I intend to finish it, but there won't be an 'R2' season, since Lelouch will doubtless wrap things up early, especially with the Lancelot and Gawain in his arsenal.

Code Tekka is on temporary Hiatus, as I need to plot the 'sequel' which is essentially the second season (or R3 to you Geass fans) of the fic. Relax, you'll see everyone's Magnificent Tekka-bastard up and around eventually.

As it is, I have several ideas I feel like working on at the moment, not to mention other committments, so please don't take it personally if I don't appear or update for long periods. Like Gabriel Blessing and Ten Faced Paladin before me, I have comittments that need addressing, but that does not mean I've forgotten my readers or their support. I simply ask you be patient, you'll live longer that way.

That being said: LET'S RAWK!

* * *

42nd period.

"WHERE IN THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" Koenma roared, his head actually enlarging to fill the room, a little trick he'd picked up from his sire actually, as he bellowed at the haggard, completely drained form of Botan as the bluenette staggered into his office, a terrified George having been sent flying into the wall from the force of the yell.

"S-sorry…Koenma-sama…" the usually bubbly ferrywoman managed to get out, leaning against a concerned Ayame for support, as her knees wouldn't stop trembling long enough to support her "I…tried to escape sooner but…"

"Escape?" Koenma repeated, suddenly switching to alert as he took in his subordinate's appearance with greater focus. 'Hair out of shape, kimono in obvious need of a wash and ironing, signs of exhaustion and…are those CUFF-MARKS?'

"Tell me everything that happened to you Botan." The toddler deity ordered, his tone stern and to the letter "I won't have my subordinates handled in such a manner, and if they were able to keep you off the radar as long as they have, we might have another real problem on our hands.

"N-No sir! That's not what I meant!" Botan insisted, her face turning the same shade of pink as her kimono as she tried to assure the toddler god that he'd made a mistake "It wasn't an enemy! Shizuru-san just-!"

"Shizuru?" Koenma repeated, blinking at the uderstandably flustered bluenette in confusion, wondering if his ears were playing tricks "You mean Kuwabara Shizuru? SHE did this to you?"

"Well…yes?" Botan admitted, twiddling her fingers in a manner reminiscent of a certain Hyuuga heiress, a healthy blush on her face "I tried to tell her we were swamped with work, but she just wouldn't stop! And then she pulled out the hand-cuffs…and the toys…and if Kurama hadn't shown up when he did to divert her attention I'd-!"

"Thank you Botan…" Koenma muttered, palming his face in mortification, making a note to have his agents attempt a rescue of the redheaded thief after leaving him with the elder Kuwabara sibling for a while. Even before he and Ayame had gotten together, he hadn't been so desperate for a date he'd take being Shizuru's toy for days on end…for one thing he doubted he'd have the stamina, and Shizuru didn't strike him as the gentle type "Ayame, take her to lie down and then notify one of the other ferry girls to take up the slack for a few days."

"At once, Koenma-sama." The black-clad ferry-woman offered, bowing respectfully as she helped her staggering kohai out the door, offering her arm as support "She really did a number on you, didn't she?"

"Don't…want…to talk…about it…" Botan offered between gasps, trembling at the mere memory of her captivity. Not that it hadn't been enjoyable, in its own way, it was just there was such a thing as having a choice, and Botan wasn't into the whole bondage thing "If Kurama-kun hadn't turned up when he had…" she shivered as she recalled the fox's howls as she escaped "I just want to forget it ever happened...".

"Oh that won't do…" Ayame opined, her grip on Botan's arm tightening just enough that the bluenette knew escape was impossible "We were all looking forward to hearing the juicy details when you got back…"

Botan's eyes widened, looking on in horror as Ayame opened the door to the Ferry Girl break room to reveal every single one of her co-workers waiting for her, looks of eagerness and blushes all around.

Suddenly being forced to wear kitty ears and a tail plug didn't seem so bad.

* * *

_Mahora Bath House... _

"Hey you two! You're late!" Saotome 'Paru' Haruna called out, grinning at her best friends as they finally showed up for that evening's bath. Said duo, namely Ayase Yue and Miyazaki Nodoka, had just gotten in from their extended visit at Evangeline's cottage, and were feeling a little ashamed of themselves for their perceived selfishness in asking Negi to teach them magic.

"Hi, Paru." Nodoka greeted, the shy librarian smiling cutely at the bespectacled manga-ka as she and Yue entered the onsen together "How's the manga coming? Shouldn't the deadline be-?"

"Oh I finished it off weeks ago!" Haruna cackled, waving a dismissive hand at the duo, who blinked at their friends unusual drive. "Had to of course, what with the inspiration for a new one already in the works!"

"Inspiration?" Nodoka and Yue muttered, glancing at one another warily, a feeling on unease washing over them as Haruna's aura took on a decidedly dark countenance not unlike Evangeline's on a bad hair day.

"Kukukuku…yes…" the manga-ka cackled, her eyes scaring the life out of the Narutaki twins, who quickly headed off in the opposite direction "Ever since THEY transferred here, my inspiration meters gone off the charts! Negi-kun's cuteness! Kuwabara-sensei's rugged appeal! Kino-sensei's to die for looks! I must have them!"

"You sound like a stalker, Haruna…" Yue deadpanned, only to sigh as, instead of being chastised, the shameless manga-ka simply cackled louder, Nodoka flushing away like a searchlight "Baka…"

"Someone's in a good mood this evening…" Kazumi noted with a wry smirk, the Mahora paparazzi wading over to their corner, no doubt drawn by the word 'stalker', an ever-clueless Ku Fei and several other girls, mostly the sports group, in her wake.

"It's almost time for the Academy Festival, isn't it?" Makie asked, the bubbly gymnast looking even more excitable than usual at the prospect, which was quite the disturbing thought actually.

"Not before mid-terms though…" Okochi Akira pointed out, ever the voice of reason, the tall swim team member smiling apologetically as the pinkette slumped over, a look of depression on her face.

"Please don't talk to me about tests!" Yuna begged plaintively, the basketball star not wanting to think about such things if she didn't have to, trailing off as she noticed Izumi Ako, the soccer coach and aspiring nurse, fidgeting with her arms.

"My upper-arms have started to get a little pudgy lately…" the nervous bluenette muttered, looking a little upset over it as she continued to pinch her muscles "The price of overeating I suppose…"

"I've got just the thing!" Yuna cheered, pulling a bottle of jell from god-only-knew-where (ie: not for this rating) "Instant improvement in your skin's texture-colour-tone!" she called out, no doubt reciting an advertisement "The three-in-one wonder cream that goes on in one suh-moothe slide: NURU-NURU X!"

While the girls, with the exception of a select few, including an unnerved Makie, swarmed over to the stuff, intent on trying out the goods, no-one noticed the door to the bath-house opening, admitting three sentient blobs of goo, which dripped slowly into the bath, cackling mischievously the entire time.

"Like that stuff works…" Chisame muttered, the secret net-idol shaking her head in disgust, for the umpteenth time, at her class' idiocy, only to blink as a particularly slimy feeling washed over her "HEY! You didn't put that stuff in the water did you?"

"Huh?" Yuna blinked, the basketball star looking over at the bespectacled girl in confusion, the bottle still in hand, even as several other girls let out startled, slime induced cries "Not yet, why?"

"Because the water's getting totally slimy and-!" she trailed off her eyes widening in embarrassment as the slime whipped around her, feeling her up and rubbing itself all over without her permission "WH-WH-WHAT THE HELL? D-DON'T EVEN GO THERE!"

An cry soon went up amongst the girls that had opted out of sampling Yuna's product, their high-pitched squeals of surprise, and in Makie's case, disgust, rising in pitch whilst a specific group, sheltered at the far end of the bath, looked on in confusion.

"What the heck are they doing?" Kazumi muttered, a bead of sweat sliding down her exasperated face, idly wondering if she should go over and interview them once they calmed down. Such thoughts soon took a back-seat as something large and gooey washed over them, dragging the four girls under the water with surprising strength, the journalist's eyes widening as a little girl with a mocking face appeared before her, just as everything went black.

"The slime! THE SLIIIIIIME…" Makie wailed, racing awkwardly through the water, only to collapse on the rim of the bath, thoroughly drained "…can't…take it…"

"That's it for her…" the Narutakis noted, shaking their heads in joint disbelief as they watched Baka-Pink tremble like a leaf.

"It…it's not because of THIS is it?" Yuna wondered, looking a little unnerved as she pointed at her bottle of goo, which last she checked hadn't leaked anywhere.

"Get rid of it!" Chisame snarled, her face a mask of irate displeasure as she trembled in indignation, several other girls backing her up on the issue.

No one seemed to notice Haruna, who was looking around in confusion for her friends and bathing partners, who'd apparently disappeared into thin air

"Yue? Nodoka? Where did…?"

* * *

_Ayaka, Natsumi and Chizuru's lovely suite... _

While all this was going on, the residents of room 665, and Kotaro, were currently sitting down for the evening meal.

The Hanyou looked on in awe as the girls, including the blonde he'd knocked the wind out of, bickered and joked without a single blow passing between them, content to gently tease one another without fear of consequence, even after Ayaka had told the other two off for swiping a few bites of her own dinner.

"Something wrong, Kotaro-kun?" Natsumi asked, smiling cutely around her chopsticks as she caught the boy looking at them.

"Its just this…" Kotaro began, lowering his head in embarrassment towards the excellently prepared meal "I've never had a meal like this, at a table before…feels like family I suppose…"

Even Ayaka, who'd pegged the pre-teen to be the anti-thesis to her beloved Negi-sensei, couldn't help but look up in interest at the boy's words, her eyes compassionate and concerned, only to trail off as the doorbell rang, just as Chizuru attempted to suffocate the brat with her breasts.

"I'll get it," the class rep assured them, leaving the boy to suffer in what Negi had dubbed 'marshmallow hell', while she answered the door "May I help you?" she asked, blinking at the sight of the elder, obviously foreign gentleman at the door.

"Pardon me, miss." He offered in perfect, if accented Japanese "I do hate to intrude, but I need to talk with that young man there."

Now Ayaka wasn't the only child and heir apparent to one of the most influential corporate groups for nothing, and so not only did she instantly put her guard up, but she made a point of keeping a firm grip on the handle, ready to slam the door shut. "With HIM you mean?" she asked, not revealing their guest's name "What could you and he have to…?"

"Oh nothing much." The man assured her, his dark countenance disappearing in an instant to a pleasant, charming visage as he held out a white rose "But rather, young lady, would you accept this rose?"

Now Ayaka might have had her suspicions, but that being said this didn't quite prepare her for the man's sudden charms and change of demeanor. Upbringing (and personal tastes) aside, she was still a young woman, and it was rather flattering to be appraised by a distinguished looking gentleman. Sadly, while she was getting control of her flustered nerves, the pollen wafting off the offered rose finally kicked in, sending the girl into a deep sleep in the entryway, a smile on her face.

"Pardon me…" the man muttered, snapping the chain keeping the door shut and walking in, though he did pause to fix the rose to the rep's hair in passing, until he was standing in the middle of the apartment. "Well! If it isn't the little lycanthrope." He noted, fixing his hat back onto his silver head of hair, eyeing the stunned Inugami from under the brim "I trust you've been well?"

"You!" Kotaro yelled, leaping up from the table and lunging at the old man, only to be sent flying backwards, courtesy of a well-aimed punch to the chin, which he barely managed to block with his arm.

"Now m'boy…" the old man muttered, settling into a typical boxer's stance as he eyed the youth from under the brim of his hat, heedless of Natsumi's cries of alarm and Chizuru's gasp of surprise "The vessel…will you hand it over? My true target is young Negi…" here his eyes took on a particularly dark look "but we can't have ourselves being sealed away again, can we?"

"Vessel…?" Kotaro repeated, the amnesiac pre-teen inugami shaking his head from the blow as he sat up against the closet doors, grimacing from the pain "W-wait…Negi…you said Negi?"

"I did." The black-clad man admitted, his eyes stern as he glared down at the shaken Hanyou impassively, his sharp gaze watching for any tricks the youth might pull out of his sleeves "Have you remembered?"

"Excuse me." A voice called out, the intruder turning to find himself looking upon the displeased stare of Naba Chizuru, who was standing firmly in front of a terrified Natsumi "I have no idea who you are sir, but at the very least you should have introduced yourself, never mind removing your shoes." She tilted her head pointedly towards the man's soaked footsteps, which were staining the wooden floor "I ask you, is that how a gentleman acts?"

"Ah, yes." The intruder noted, following her gaze and noting the mess he'd made in surprise, as if only now recalling it "Where ARE my manners? I'd truly forgotten about Japanese customs, rest assured I'll pay for the damages." That said, he whipped his hat off, revealing a genial old man with an unusual hairstyle "As to my name, I am Graf Wilhelm Josef von Herrmann." he bowed politely "Though I use the ancestral rank of Graf, the truth is that I'm naught but I hired hand these days."

He smiled suddenly, whipping a rose out of thin air as he beamed at the duo before him, as if trying to put them at ease "That reminds me, do any of you young ladies have wishes you'd like granted?" he asked, using a salesman's pitch "We're having a special at the moment: Any three wishes at a low, low introductory price."

"Wishes?" Chizuru repeated, looking a little surprised at the offer, a slight blush on her cheeks at the admittedly handsome man's mannerism "No thanks."

"You…" Kotaro growled, looking up at the oddly disappointed Herrmann from his spot on the floor "What'd you do to blondie?"

"I simply put her to sleep for a bit, that's all." Herrmann assured the youth, replacing his hat on his head, all genteel mannerisms vanishing as he once again leveled a shadowed glare from beneath the rim "Now then, what be your thoughts on the vessel?"

"I got no idea what you're talking about…" Kotaro growled, rising to his feet "and even if I DID…" he lunged forwards fingers clenched for the attack "what makes you think I'd give it to YOU?"

Herrmann grunted, blocking the Inugami's opening strike with his left arm, before following it up with a series of jabs from his right that sent the youth flying backwards. Kotaro rolled with it, however, allowing him to ricochet off a bookshelf for another attack, only to be met with a spin kick from Herrmann that sent him crashing into the staircase, much to Natsumi's horror.

"I've a soft spot for young men with potential." Herrmann admitted as he resumed the traditional boxer's stance "Despite your youth you're QUITE talented, so if you'll just hand it over quietly, I'll have no reason to hurt you."

"YOU hurt ME?" Kotaro spat, grinning up at old man, his blood literally pumping in his ears as he gathered his chi "If Y'think you can…THEN BE MY GUEST!"

Herrmann blinked as not one, but SIX figures leapt out of the stairwell, his eyes widening as he was forced to fend off SIX copies of Kotaro from all sides "I see! Kagebunshin, a wonder of the east!" he exclaimed, lifting his arm to guard his face, only to receive a body blow from the original.

"You're a little too sure of yourself, ossan." Kotaro mocked, even as he held his arm out to the side, his eyes determined "But THIS'LL finish it! INUGAMI!"

The look on the youth's face when his shadowy familiars failed to form actually brought a smile to Herrmann's face, who wasted no time in grabbing Kotaro's arm and hoisting him off his feet. "Good! VERY nice!" Herrmann applauded, holding the Hanyou up without any sign of duress, even as he struggled "Even better than I thought, you've surprised this old man!" his gaze turned solemn "Sadly, however, you seem to have forgotten that THAT technique, for the moment, is beyond you."

That said, Herrmann delivered a powerful blow to the youth's torso, forcing the wind out of him and sending him to the ground, where he was held down by the man's boot. "I've no desire to put an end to such potential, believe me." Herrmann muttered, sounding oddly disappointed as he stood over the panting youth "But you leave me no choice…" he murmured, a dull light building up in the back of his throat "try not to think ill of me…"

Kotaro grimaced, waiting for the inevitable to come with clenched teeth and fire in his eyes despite his battered appearance, Natsumi looking on in horror from the corner, which only intensified when Chizuru came out of nowhere and slapped Herrmann so hard across the face it actually cut off whatever attack he'd been building up.

"As I said before, I don't know what's going on," the well-endowed young woman repeated, her glare stern and her hand firm despite the force of the blow "but I will not have you treat a child that way."

"Such fine moral fiber!" Herrmann applauded, chuckling genially despite the stinging of his cheek and the river of blood trickling down from his nostrils "It is seldom indeed I meet such resistance from a HUMAN…" here his eyes took on a dangerous glint "I find myself intrigued now…by you AND Kotaro-kun." He turned to face Chizuru, dismissing the panicking Natsumi altogether "Perhaps I shall have you come along as well!"

* * *

_Elsewhere... _

So far Negi Springfield was having a pretty good day. True he'd been exhausted earlier, what with Evangeline putting him through his paces, only to drain him of his blood as tuition, but Kuwabara had been there to shoulder the load, and when the others showed up it gave him a chance to grab a few extra hours of rest Asuna actually standing over him to make sure he slept.

But just as they were settling down for the night, the hair on the back of his neck had stood up straight, a sure sign that something was going on. What's more, this particular feeling was tied in with the slight, tugging sensation he felt whenever one of his partners used their pactio cards, a slight draining of his magical energy through the link they shared.

Since Asuna and Konoka were currently in the room with him, this meant it was either Nodoka, who'd gone off to the bath with Yue, or Setsuna, who said she wanted to patrol the grounds before turning in for the night, heedless of the silent danger that was hovering outside the window, a smile on it's gooey, shapeless face.

Offering an excuse to his confused roommates, the Welshman raced out into the corridor, trying to recall the exact route of Setsuna's patrol, which actually deviated depending on her schedule/mood, he soon came to the sudden, uncomfortable realization that he couldn't sense the girl anywhere, not through their link, nor through the pactio card.

Just as he was circling the hallway for the third time, hoping to bump into some trace of the winged kendo-ka, he noted that the door to Ayaka, Chizuru and Natsumi's room was open a jar, something not unusual in itself, his eyes widening as he espied the broken catch on the floor, and the tip of a dainty foot, partially hidden behind the door.

"I-Iincho-san!" he yelped, opening the door and gaping down at the comatose, slumbering form of the Class President, kneeling down to check her pulse, only to let out a sigh of relief as he realized she was breathing regularly, apparently in nothing more than a deep sleep, judging by her slight moans.

A sudden cry of 'CHIZU-NEE-!" from inside caught his attention however, the welsh wizard leaving Ayaka where she lay to race into the room, only to gape at the sight of a large, Black Clad man, clearly of European descent, standing in the middle of the room, an unconscious Naba Chizuru held in his arms.

"That was fast…" the man noted in perfect English, looking over his shoulder at the startled teen, his hawk-like eyes seeming to shine in the moonlight "Good afternoon, Young Negi Springfield."

_"N-Naba-san!"_ Negi yelped, instinctively calling out to the mature young woman, before turning his attention to the intruder "_D-dare_-I mean, who are you?" he asked, switching mid-way from Japanese to English as he pointed at the man "Put her down, Please!"

The man seemed to scoff, looking the child-sensei over with an evaluative stare, before turning his back on him "I've collected seven of your associates already." He explained, eyeing the youth over his shoulder "If you'd like them returned safely, you must fight me."

Negi startled, his eyes widening as water rose up around the man, apparently from the rainwater running off him, much like it had for Fate in Kyoto, no doubt a high-class water teleportation spell.

"I'll await you at the stage beneath the Giant Tree in the middle of the Academy." The man challenged, turning to face the youth even as Negi charged him "If you care for your friends' safety, I'd advise against seeking help elsewhere."

"W-Wait!" Negi yelped, dashing forwards with his hand outstretched, only for the water to envelop the intruder and Chizuru, sending them off to the apparent battleground even as the youth stared on helplessly.

"A-Aniki!" Chamo hissed, the ermine interrupting Negi's attempt at comforting the terrified Murakami Natsumi by drawing his partner's attention "This guy! In the corner here!"

"Huh?" Negi muttered in confusion, turning round to gape at the youth Chamo had spotted on the floor "Oh! Kotaro-kun!"

"Nuh…Negi?" the Hanyou muttered, blinking dazedly up at his fellow ten-year-old's features as they swam into focus, only to sit up straight with a yell "NEGI! IT IS YOU!" he exclaimed, only to wince and cover his face "Waitaminute…what've I…oh yeah! NEGI! WE HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE! LET'S FIGHT!"

"WE'VE NO TIME FOR THAT RIGHT NOW!" Negi insisted with an exasperated yell, wondering if it was really such a good idea to wake the Hanyou as he filled him in.

* * *

_Exposition-Exposition-!_

"…I see." Kotaro muttered, biting his thumbnail in thought as Negi finished off recounting what had happened "My memories must've been erased…and now I've gotten Chizuru-neechan involved…dammit, she's got nuthin' to do with this!" he looked up at Negi uncertainly "And you say he has the girls? Yue and Nodoka I can understand, but Asuna and the Shinmeiryuu girl?"

"That's what he SAID." Negi corrected the Hanyou, looking uncertain as well "Asuna-san may be strong, but she's still just a junior-high school girl."

Kotaro growled to himself, crossing his arms in thought as Chamo raced in, confirming their fears that Konoka and Asuna were indeed not in their dorm or in the baths. "Negi…" he called out, reaching behind his ear and pulling out a familiar bottle "About this vessel thing, all you need is to chant a spell and you can seal all of them into this. Use it."

"Right then!" Negi proclaimed, a little surprised at the sight of the bottle Stan had used all those years ago, in Japan of all places, but far too relieved to look a gift horse in the mouth "I have to go save them so-!"

"I'll go with you!" Kotaro exclaimed, pumping a fist eagerly, only to snarl as Negi made to protest on account of the Hanyou's injuries "SHADDUP! He caught me off guard is all!" his face grew determined "Besides, it's my fault Chizuru-neechan's caught up in all this." He clenched a fist before him "I owe her for rescuing me as well, so you can't stop me!"

"…Alright…" Negi agreed, the two of the grasping each others hands like teammates at a big game "Natsumi-san! Please be sure to look after Iincho-san, okay?"

And then they left, leaving a VERY confused Natsumi standing in the hall, looking quite out of it, and a slumbering Ayaka in the doorway.

* * *

And this is why the Ermine law was invented.

Cue the Nadesico music!

Narrator: What's this? A dastardly villain has kidnapped the maidens!

Hermann: This is typecasting you know.

Narrator: And so Young Negi rushes to the rescue!

Konoka: YAY!

Setsuna: Ojou-sama! Cover yourself!

Narrator: Aided by his faithfull companion, our young hero ventures forth!

Kotaro: Why does it sound like I'm some kind of dog?

NArrator: Can they rescue the girls before Graff Hermann has his wicked way with them?

Hermann: Now see here!

Next time on Reikai Sensei Kuwabara: Monster Mash! Slime-girls demons and Lycanthropes, oh my!

Asuna: WHAT THE HELL AM I WEARING!


End file.
